Storiesonline.net ------- 10th Grade by Openbook Copyright© 2006 by Openbook ------- Description: Kenny Masters had just been scooped out of the frying pan and placed not in the fire he expected, but rather, in the very lap of luxury. His life was about to change, but was he ready for all of those changes? Codes: MF mf mF 1st cons het ------- ------- Chapter 1 Mrs. Parsons drove me over to my new school. She was my new foster mother. My name is Kenny Masters, and I'm an orphan. As far as I can remember I've always been an orphan. The records at the orphanage I lived in for eleven years say that I lived with my mother until I was almost three years old, but I have no memories of her, or of having ever known a family. By the time I was twelve years old, it was pretty obvious to everyone that I wasn't ever going to be adopted. The few times that couples had come by to talk to me, we hadn't been able to get along. Mostly it was my fault, because I didn't really want to belong to anybody else. In the orphanage, since whenever I first started remembering stuff, I was always able to take care of myself. I never liked being told what to do. The sisters at the orphanage said I was surly and obnoxious, but that was the only way I was able to get them to let me alone. When they quit trying to make me do stuff, stuff that I didn't want to do, I quit resisting them. We had a kind of stand off. They didn't like me at the orphanage, said I set a bad example for the other boys by not following their orders. I did as much good stuff as anyone else, I just didn't like people telling me what to do. Every morning, while the other kids were at breakfast, I cleaned the big bathroom that we all shared. I did a good job of it too. Even the Mother Superior remarked on how clean everything was after I got done with it. When I was done, after everyone else was done eating, I'd go to the kitchen and eat my own breakfast. Marie, the cook, liked me, and she looked after fixing me what I liked to eat. After breakfast, I'd help her clean up the kitchen. We didn't talk much, but we both knew what to do, and she left me alone to do it. I was pretty satisfied with my life at the orphanage. I think me being satisfied is a big part of the reason why they finally kicked me out and sent me back to Bolling County Youth Services. The one good thing that everyone always said about me was that I was smart and did well in my studies. I never volunteered in class though, and they marked me down for that. I always did real good in my tests, and I never caused any problems in the classrooms. Some of the teachers seemed to like me just because I never gave them a problem in class. The teaching nuns were from a different order than the orphanage nuns, they didn't care as much that I didn't like being ordered around. I was almost fifteen the summer they kicked me out of the orphanage. I had graduated from ninth grade, and was working on a puzzle in the recreation room when Sister Clara came and got me to take me to the Mother Superior's office. When I got there, a fat man, who I'd never seen before, was sitting in one of the waiting chairs outside her office. I sat down next to him while Sister Clara went in to tell the Mother Superior that she had brought me. Sister Clara came out right away and motioned with her hand for me to come inside the office. As soon as I got up, the fat guy did too, and we both went into the office, him following me. "Sit down Kenneth. This is Mr. Chalmers. He is your attorney, appointed by the court to look after your interests. The other sisters and I have concluded that it would benefit you more to leave St. Cecelia's, and to make your transition back into main stream society. We all feel that we've done as much as we can for you. We wrote to Mrs. Donovan, your case worker for the county and informed her of our decision. "Mr. Chalmers has managed to find you a foster home placement in the town where he lives, and you will be attending the local public high school. I know this is sudden, Kenneth, but we didn't find out about how soon you would be leaving us until Mr. Chalmers arrived here an hour ago, with a court order releasing you into his hands. I wish we had been given a little more time to get you prepared for such a sudden change in your circumstances. Mr. Chalmers, do you wish some privacy to discuss any matters with Kenneth?" "Only if the boy has questions. You have any questions, son?" Actually, I was in shock over this news. Living like I had though, I'd learned to not put my own feelings on open display. The sisters were experts in finding a guy's weakness, and then exploiting it for some advantage. If there was already a court order, it didn't make any difference what I wanted anyway. Since I was going to be leaving anyway, I decided to let my guard down, just this one time, and ask Mother Superior for a favor. "Can I go say goodbye to Marie in the kitchen? She's always been good to me here." Mother Superior looked over at Mr. Chalmers, obviously wanting to see if he was in too much of a hurry to wait around for me to do that. He nodded his head that it was okay with him. "You may go see her and tell her goodbye then. We will expect you back here in fifteen minutes with all of your personal clothes and belongings. Fifteen minutes, Kenneth, not one second more." I got up and left the office. I walked to the kitchen and told Marie that they were kicking me out, and that I wouldn't be able to help her clean up anymore after breakfast. She hugged me and told me she was sure going to miss me around there. She told me to be good, and to come visit her sometime, after I got settled, and had some free time. I was almost ready to cry when I left her, but there was no way I was ever going to give in to something as babyish as that. When I got to my bed, someone had already packed all of my things in a black trash bag. I checked through it quick, to make sure it had everything I wanted, but I didn't notice anything missing. On top of the pile, there was a new toothbrush and a whole tube of new toothpaste. I figured that was from Sister Clara. Of all the sisters who ran the orphanage, she was the nicest to me. By the time I got back to the Mother Superior's office, only about ten minutes had elapsed. I walked in without knocking and being told to come in first. "I'm ready." "Goodbye, Kenneth. All of us at St. Cecilia's will pray for you tonight." She waited for me to say something back to her, but I didn't. "Aren't you even going to tell me goodbye?" "Are you ready, Mr. Chalmers?" I saw what I thought might be a brief flicker of a smile on his lips, but it was gone before I could really be sure if that was what it was. Instead of answering me, he just turned and opened the office door, waving me through it ahead of him. I went through the door, noticing that he was following close behind me. We went right out the front entrance, and I saw a big, black car parked directly in front at the curb. "Let me open that trunk for you Ken. You don't mind me calling you Ken, do you?" "I like Kenny better." "That's good too, Kenneth makes me think of nuns with those real hard rulers they used to whack your hands with from back when I was a boy. I felt like that with that old nun in there too. I'd be willing to bet you a dollar against a donut that she has one of those eighteen inch long thick wooden rulers, and that she's cracked quite a few knuckles with it too." He had gotten his trunk open, and I put my trash bag and all my belongings inside. He had a set of golf clubs in his trunk, so I had to wedge my bag to get it to fit without moving his bag. He must have seen me staring at his clubs. "Do you play, Kenny?" I turned and looked at him, wondering if he was asking if I still played like the little kids, on the playground. "Golf, do you play golf?" I shook my head no. I'd seen people playing golf on the television in the recreation room, but I'd never even held a club. "I don't really play either, but I try to play, and that's fun too. I was going to play today, but this came up instead. Would you mind if we stopped off at the country club, its on the way, and I could get in a quick nine holes? I'll let you drive the golf cart, and we'll go get something to eat in the clubhouse afterwards. I don't get many days as nice as this one where I have the time to get away and play." "I don't know how to drive. I'd like to see a real golf course though." "Golf carts are a snap to drive, and it would be good training for you, for when you get a driver's license later. Best way for a person to practice learning how to steer. Kenny, I don't know how you feel about any of this, but I've got to believe almost any place will be better than what you're leaving behind here. While we're at the golf course, I need to tell you a little bit about the couple you're going to be living with. I'm the one who set it up with them, and I think you need to be filled in about some things before you actually go to meet them. Golf courses are a good place to talk about things like that." I didn't say anything, so we both got in his car and drove away. I didn't look back. It wasn't that I wasn't grateful for the orphanage being there, or didn't appreciate the fact that they had given me a place to live, and food for me to eat. I appreciated that, and the school too. They could have been nicer about it though, and not tried to force feed me their religion, and their curious ideas about piety and decent behavior. For them, decent behavior always started and ended with me doing exactly what they wanted me to do. If I didn't like that, or agree to do it, to them, that meant I was being bad. I went along with almost anything that I could see made any kind of sense, but a lot of what they wanted wasn't sensible, and I didn't go along. When you are six or seven, not going along always meant you were being obstinate and were automatically in the wrong. By the time I'd turned fourteen, almost fifteen, the number of things I'd been willing to go along with had dwindled to the point that they weren't willing to keep putting up with me, not even for all that money the County had been paying them for all those years. When we got to the golf course, I was amazed at how nice everything was cared for. There was lush grass everywhere, and there were nice trees throughout the whole place. Mr. Chalmers got his golf bag and we walked from where he had parked to behind the big white building that he said was the clubhouse. A young guy came running out, and he took the bag right out of Mr. Chalmers hands, taking it over to a golf cart where he strapped it on the back so it wouldn't fall off. "I need to go use the facility, Kenny. You go with George here, and let him show you how to drive the cart." I saw Mr. Chalmers give George a five dollar bill and a wink. From George's smile, I guess he was pretty happy to be doing what Mr. Chalmers wanted. It wasn't much of a driving lesson. He showed me how to put it in forward and reverse, and showed me how to use the gas and brake pedals, and how to set the brake. He also asked me several questions about who I was to Mr. Chalmers, but all I said was that he was my lawyer, and he wanted to discuss some family business with me. Mr. Chalmers came out and took George's place on the right side of the golf cart, and pointed me over to where he wanted us to go. Driving the cart was going to be fun. At first, I took it slow, but as I gained confidence, I went faster. Mr. Chalmers told me where to stop, and after I did, he went to the back and got out a club and a ball and what I later learned was a tee. I saw that he had changed shoes, and his new shoes had metal nails sticking out of the bottoms. I asked him about them, and he told me they were to give him traction. He took a few swings with his club and then put the tee in the ground and put the ball on top of it. He took a couple more swings, and on his third swing, he really hit the ball, and it went a long ways, before he hit a tree. "Shit!" I laughed when I heard him say that. If we had been back in Mother Superior's office and he said that, she would have shown him that ruler he was wondering about. "How many swings do you get before you're out?" "Too many, Kenny. We are going to visit nine holes today. Each time I hit the ball that's one stroke. We add up all the strokes at the end, and that's my score. The lower the score, the better I like it." "What about when you miss it, is that a stroke too?" "No, those were my practice swings. I usually take two practice swings before I hit the ball. Those don't count unless I'm trying to hit the ball and then miss it." "You hit that one a long way, how come you didn't like it?" "Did you see it hit that big tree? I'm probably stuck behind it and I'll have to chip out onto the fairway, wasting another stroke to do it." "No you won't. It bounced out to the left when you hit that tree. Can't you see that ball? It's right there in the short grass. I can see it easy from here." "If that's true, than that's good news for me. I sure wish I could see things that far away. You actually saw the ball after it struck the tree? That is just remarkable." I already knew I had good eyesight. When I was little, I used to be able to hit a baseball every time when I came to bat. I wondered how easy it was to hit that little golf ball with those clubs. I would wait, and maybe Mr. Chalmers would let me try it if he got tired. I drove him right over to his ball. As soon as he saw it, he had a big smile. He did the same thing with his next stroke, hitting it to the right, and hitting another big tree. "Did you see it come out that time, Kenny?" "No, this time it went to the right further back. It went under that big bush near the tree you hit." "God damned luck! I don't know why I keep playing this stupid game." "Are you supposed to hit it in the middle of that thing on the end of your club?" "That's the idea, why?" "You lean in a little from where you swing, but not when you practice, only when you hit it. I think that throws your aim off." "Show me what you mean." I got out of the cart, making sure to set the brake first though. I showed him how he swung when he practiced, then when he was hitting the ball, he sort of gave a little lunge forward when he brought the club towards the ball. It was like he clenched his muscles when he knew he was really going to hit the ball. He didn't do it on the practice strokes. "Are you sure? You could tell that from just watching me swing that one time?" "I'm not sure that's why you hit it in the woods, but I'm sure that's what you did when you hit it, and you didn't do it when you were just practicing to hit it." He looked at me for a minute, and then took another ball out of his pocket and put it down on the grass. He got off to the side of it and took a few practice swings. When he started to swing at it for real, he stopped right before he hit the ball. "Son of a bitch! I do lunge at it. I never noticed I did that. Why do I do it?" "Maybe you're trying too hard? You want to hit it so good, that you try a little extra hard and that throws you off?" He didn't say anything, but I could see he was thinking about what I'd said. He went back to his stance again, and went through his practice routine. This time he took about five or six practice swings. "Watch me close this time, Kenny. See if I lunge at it or not." He took two more practice swings and then moved in a little closer. This time, when he hit the ball it lifted up, and headed straight for where the blue pennant on the stick was. It hit in front and didn't roll much. It was about twenty five feet in front of the stick. "Did you watch me that time? Did I lunge or not?" "I didn't see it if you did. That was a good one, right?" "Good for me, Kenny, I'd take that one all day long." He got back in the cart and I started driving over to the golf ball under that bush. "Where are you going? Forget that ball. I'm taking a mulligan." Mr. Chalmers played another eight holes after that with mixed results. A few times he hit good shots, right in the direction he was aiming. When we finished the nine holes, he had hit the ball fifty seven times, not counting the one he hit before the mulligan. Amazingly, he seemed content with that result. When we pulled back behind the clubhouse, George again ran out and retrieved Mr. Chalmers bag. I saw Mr. Chalmers give him his car keys and another five dollar bill. He led me upstairs to the main clubhouse and over to the restaurant that was part of it. He asked me what I wanted to eat, and I told him whatever he was having would be all right with me. He smiled at me, and when the waiter came, he ordered for both of us, a cheeseburger with fries and two Pepsi's. "Okay, Kenny, while they are getting our order ready, I need to tell you about Tom and Roberta, the couple you are going to be staying with for awhile. Tom Parsons is one of my friends. We became fraternity brothers together in college. Roberta is my sister. Like me, they've both lived in Ridgeline their entire lives. They never had any children of their own, because there is a slight problem with 'Bertie'. They've never made any attempt to adopt children either. Some people have suggested they should adopt. I know 'Bertie' wanted to have children of her own, but Tom put his foot down and wouldn't allow it. He is still not in favor of becoming a foster parent. "The thing is, and this is where you come in, Kenny, 'Bertie' has taken it into her head that she wants a child, and she has decided she wants one right now. In spite of her strong desire for this, Tom still isn't going for it. As a direct result of this impasse, she came to me last week, asking me to represent her in a divorce action. I had already told her that I couldn't represent her, because I'm also Tom's personal attorney. I talked her into holding off on seeking a divorce for awhile, telling her that I'd talk to Tom and see if I couldn't work something out. I had hoped to strike some kind of a compromise that both of them could live with. I want you to be that compromise, Kenny. You're almost fully grown already, so you won't need too much in the way of being cared for or really need to be looked after. "I talked to Tom, and when I did, I laid all the cards out on the table for him. I told him that he had to agree to give 'Bertie' something. If not, I told him that, in addition to the divorce, he would be removed from his position at the company he now heads. Given all of this, he has agreed to let you come and live with them, at least for a suitable trial period. This isn't going to be a normal foster home situation, I'm not going to try to kid you about that. Tom and 'Bertie' are both good people, but they are in the middle of what I can only call a crisis situation. Something will have to be done in order for them to keep their marriage together. "First, let me tell you the good parts of it for you. They have scads of money, and 'Bertie' is going to shower you with anything you want, anything to make you happy. She wanted a boy, although she was thinking of one a whole lot younger than you at first. When I told her about you, well frankly, she had her doubts. You will have your own large room, and it will be equipped with a television, stereo and everything you will need for school, including a new electric typewriter. You won't lack for anything you need that money can buy for you. You will go to the public high school, and will be able to live a normal existence, far different from what you have previously known, and much better than what you have been used to. There will be much more personal freedom than you have been used to having. Do you have any questions with what I've told you so far?" "You said her husband had agreed for me to come live there?" "Yes, he did, but with some conditions. While you live there, you are going to be almost exclusively 'Bertie's' concern. You shouldn't believe that this means that Tom will be in anyway antagonistic towards you. I'm certain that won't be how it is. It will be more a case of benign neglect from him. As far as he is concerned, it will be you and 'Bertie' that will be interacting together. That is one of the bad parts that I was going to come to. Tom doesn't really want any part of this, other than giving his permission for you to live there with them. For all practical purposes, all of the money is 'Bertie's'. Tom has spent his entire adult life, since finishing college, working in, and later, running the business that my father founded over forty years ago. Under Tom's stewardship, the company has thrived. In truth, it was apparent to me that Tom cares much more about losing his position in the company than he does about the possibility of losing 'Bertie'." "Suppose I don't like living there? What happens then?" "I did some checking up on you, Kenny. I'm familiar, in large measure, with what your life has been like up until now. I spent some of my formative years in a private Catholic school. I'm even familiar with the philosophy of the order that runs St. Cecelia's. 'Bertie' isn't anything like any of the people who have been in charge of rearing you since early childhood. She is extremely high strung, but in a kind and compassionate way. She worries about whether the birds will have enough to eat in the winter time. She is what we prefer to call eccentric. Someone like her, without our family money, well, they might call her condition something else. I feel bad about what is occurring, mostly because it was me who arranged for 'Bertie' and Tom to be married. "It seemed like such a good match at the time. It was purely a marriage of convenience, but one where each had what the other one thought they needed. We had plenty of money, and a secure place for Tom to embark on a brilliant business career. Tom was born a poor boy, without any of the good business contacts thought necessary for career advancement. His only real flaw was that he was almost blinded by his ambitions. He has been an excellent steward for the family's business. For more than twenty years, both of them have been content to coexist together in relative harmony. If they weren't happy, then they were at least willing to keep up with their status quo. I'm trying to keep things together for everyone's sake. I offer you my sacred promise that I will do everything in my power to make this situation one where you won't regret becoming involved." "Why don't you get her a young boy from the orphanage, if that's what she really wants?" "Two reasons. One, Tom wouldn't agree to it, and two, 'Bertie' might turn a young child into someone just as eccentric as she is. At times, her judgment isn't really the best. I've been told that you aren't someone that easily bends to the will of others. In this situation, that is a desirable character trait for you to possess." Just then, our waiter came back with our lunch. The cheeseburger was unlike any I'd ever eaten before. The meat tasted far better than the ground meat that Marie cooked with. I ate everything, even the dill pickle, and all the raw vegetables that they served on the side. "What kind of eccentric is your sister? What does she do that makes her eccentric?" "That is an excellent question, Kenny. I'm going to avoid answering it completely right now. It would be better if you meet 'Bertie' first. She has her different moods, they vary from day to day. She is like a child, at times, given to flights of fancy. Some days, she is as normal as anyone else, but the next day, she might hide in a closet all day long, refusing all attempts to get her to come out. My fondest hope is that you being there will begin to bring out the best that she is capable of. Of late, 'Bertie' has become increasingly less dependable in her mood swings. Tom recently put forward the idea of placing 'Bertie' in an institution. This is something that I simply cannot, and will not, allow to happen. I have hired someone to look after her, to stay close to her on those days when she is in a fragile mood. Beatrice, that is 'Bertie's companions name, sees to it that 'Bertie' comes to no harm." "What am I supposed to do when she is in one of these moods? I don't know anything about crazy people. That is what she sounds like to me, from what you've just told me." I expected him to get mad at me and take me somewhere else. Some place like St. Cecelia's, with a different name and location. I didn't feel that I had that much to lose. I knew orphanages, crazy people were something I knew nothing about. "Crazy, or eccentric, those are just meaningless labels. 'Bertie isn't a danger to anyone, not even herself. If you don't mind me saying so, you're looking at this from a far too negative perspective. You will have your own room, a whole closet full of new clothes, whatever you need or desire in the way of material possessions, excellent healthy food, served in abundance, and, whether or not you believe it, the friendship and love of a warm and caring woman. Measure all of that against your recently terminated living situation. Contrast it with all your other current prospects. Were I you, I certainly would have no difficulty with making the correct choice." "I don't want to belong to anyone, or to be ordered around by people either. I feel like you want me to be her pet child, for those times when she wants to try to play mommy. I'm too old for a mommy now." "Think of it as a luxurious orphanage then. A warehouse of sorts, where you are to be stored until you turn eighteen. I ask that you reserve judgment on my sister until after you've met her At the very least, give her a chance to allay the worst of your worries and fears." "I suppose I really should give it a try. Can I have one of your cards, or a phone number where I can call you if I need to leave there? It seems like there has to be a catch to it somewhere. You're right about one thing though, it almost has to be better than the place I just left. How much did these hamburgers cost you?" "Kenny, you won't regret it. I already knew you were a very smart boy. I don't know what the hamburgers cost. I'll sign the check, and take a look for you. Whatever it is, it will be itemized and included with my monthly statement. I have my own people who look into those kinds of things for me. Did you enjoy driving the golf cart? Tom plays, and so does 'Bertie', occasionally. We are all members here, and you shall be as well. There are many advantages to be had by being anyone's pet anything. My sister will not think of you as a pet, or treat you as one either. To her, you will be a treasure. How many times in your life has someone thought of you as a treasure?" Mr. Chalmers got up then, and the waiter came running over with this black book and a pen. Mr. Chalmers wrote a few things in it and then handed it back to the waiter. We were walking out together, and Mr. Chalmers leaned over to tell me that the hamburgers were $6.00 each. He walked pretty quick, especially considering his size. He had to weigh at least two hundred and fifty pounds, but he was only about an inch or two taller than me. I was five nine and weighed about one hundred and fifty pounds. He had to be at least forty five, and was at least eighty pounds overweight. I still had to walk really fast to keep up with him. We got back in his car and drove another few miles to Ridgeline. I'd never been there before. It looked pretty small, and the houses I first saw didn't look as nice as some of the ones I'd seen in Bolling, near the orphanage. We drove right through town, Mr. Chalmers pointed out his law office to me as we went by it. About half a mile past town, he turned off of the street we were driving on and drove up this long driveway. It must have been at least a quarter mile before we came to this huge gray house. It looked like it was made out of big blocks of stone. It also looked like it was bigger than all of St. Cecilia's. In front of the house was this big parking lot that looked like a big circle. It was all red bricks put together in a weird pattern that formed this big circle. In the center of this circle was a big marble fountain with statues of angels, water squirting out of their mouths. As soon as we had gotten stopped, and Mr. Chalmers had turned off his engine, two women came running out from the front of that big house. One was about Mr. Chalmers age, and she was kind of tall and thin, with shoulder length dark hair and a dark colored dress that went down almost to her ankles. The other woman was a lot younger, maybe nineteen or twenty years old. She had shorter hair, and it looked almost black. She was short, and she had a real big bosom, with wide hips. She wasn't fat looking though, more like ripe, I'd say. She had a real pretty face, and she reminded me of Sister Carmelita, the nun who taught me when I was in the second grade. They both stopped about five feet away from the car. Mr. Chalmers got out, so I decided to get out too. "'Bertie, this is Kenny Masters. He wants to come live with you for awhile, to see if the two of you can get along together. Kenny is an orphan, but he's a bright young man, one who is in need of a mother's touch. He needs for you to polish him up, and make him ready for manhood. Kenny, this is my sister, 'Bertie', and this pretty young lady is Beatrice. She is 'Bertie's friend and boon companion." I couldn't remember her last name, Mr. Chalmers had told me, but I had forgotten it. I sure wasn't going to call her 'Bertie' though. He must have seen my hesitancy, and the awkward silence that was about to begin. "Kenny's my new golf teacher. He looked at my golf swing and found out exactly what I was doing wrong. He's a good driver too. Kenny, you have to take Mrs. Parsons and Beatrice out for a round soon so that you can critique and evaluate their swings too." "I'm very pleased to meet you Mrs. Parsons. Thank you for inviting me to come stay with you. I've never seen a house as nice or as big as this one. I'm not sure if it's okay for me to call you Beatrice or not, but thank you too for coming out to welcome me." "Bunny, I didn't know he was going to be so big. He's almost a man already. Are you sure that you're only fourteen, Kenny? You're such a big handsome young man." She came forward and wrapped me up in a tight bear hug. Tighter by far than the one Marie had given me. I hoped she couldn't feel the lurch that my dick gave. I hadn't expected to be hugged. I turned to Beatrice after Mrs. Parsons released me, but she didn't seem like she was going to give me a hug. "'Bertie', he just now finished the ninth grade. You can have him all the way through high school, but only if you treat him good, and make him like living here with you. Beatrice, I hope you aren't going to be standoffish with Kenny. He's a part of our family now, and I expect you to make him feel welcome. I told you how important it is to me to keep "Bertie" happy. Now, give the boy a hug to welcome him to his new home." She stepped forward then, looking a little upset to be talked to like that. She barely made contact as she gave me a rather reluctant seeming hug. She was careful to keep her bosoms from coming into contact with me. While she did that, Mr. Chalmers opened up his trunk and took out the garbage bag filled with my clothes and personal stuff. I saw Mrs. Parsons and Beatrice looking at my possessions. The look on their faces made me embarrassed and ashamed. Suddenly, I felt poorer than I'd ever felt at the orphanage. Mrs. Parsons was the first one to speak. "Kenny, we are going to have so much fun going out shopping together. When we get done, you'll have as many of the nice things as anyone could ever want. I'm so happy that you chose us to come to. I already know we're going to be the very best of friends. Come inside, let's go up to your room and see if everything is all right with you. It was Bunny's old room, you know? This is the house we both grew up in." As soon as I walked inside, and saw how nice everything was, I understood why Mr. Chalmers didn't care how much the hamburgers cost. The ceiling over the doorway was about thirty feet tall. There were big pictures on the wall, and a staircase like you see in those old movies where rich people make their entrance at fancy parties. It had to be at least twelve feet wide. I followed Mrs. Parsons up the stairs. She walked even faster than Bunny. I laughed to myself when I called him that in my mind. Beatrice followed behind me, and Bunny was bringing up the rear. It looked to me like he was looking right at Beatrice's butt when she walked in front of him. When he saw me looking at him, he smiled at me, then winked. I think that was the first time that I decided that I really liked him for sure. It might have been when he started cussing out on the golf course, but I knew I liked him for sure when he didn't try to hide the fact that I'd caught him staring at Beatrice's butt. After we climbed up all those stairs, they showed me to my new room, and it was huge, almost gigantic. The bed was the biggest one I'd ever seen. There was a closet that was so big you needed to walk in it to be able to find all the places to put things. Inside the closet, there were built in dressers. There was enough room in my new closet to hold all of the clothes of the boys who had lived on my floor at St. Cecelia's. The closet alone was a lot bigger than the room I had been hoping to get when Mr. Chalmers had told me that I'd have my own room. It sure looked empty, but that was probably because it was. None of my clothes needed to be put up on a hanger. I dropped my bag in that big closet. I'd wait until later, when I was alone, to unpack and put all my stuff away. Mr. Chalmers told the ladies to excuse us because he needed to confer with his ward. That's what he called me, his ward. "Kenny, I don't ever want you to be ashamed of not being born rich. "Bertie' and I were lucky enough to be born rich, but neither of us did anything special to deserve what we were born with. Whatever 'Bertie' decides to buy for you, please allow her to enjoy doing it. The money couldn't possibly to amount to more to her than the cost of that hamburger was to you. You'll be doing her a big favor if you allow her to go overboard with it. "Now, we need to discuss young Miss Beatrice. I see that, like me, you find her obvious charms captivating. Don't let her put on airs and try to snow you though. Less than a year ago, she was in a situation far worse than the one you just came from. I'm going to have a talk with her before I leave, to let her know, in no uncertain terms, that her future is dependent on making you feel welcome and comfortable in your new surroundings. I was doing a large favor for a colleague of mine when I took the risk, and sponsored Beatrice with 'Bertie' and Tom. I wouldn't feel very kindly disposed towards her if she doesn't make a serious effort to do everything in her power to assure your happiness here." "How old is she?" "She is twenty years old now. In some ways, she is much older than her chronological age might suggest. She has been living by her wits since she turned fourteen. She has had it very comfortable here, especially if you were to compare this to what she might have been made to endure. As I told you earlier, bringing her here was a favor I performed for a close colleague of mine. I'm no longer obligated by that agreement to keep her employed. Before I leave here tonight, she will be as aware of that fact as I am, and as you now are. Miss Beatrice needs to be someone whose friendship you can count on, at least until school starts up again so that you can start gathering your own circle of friends." "What chores am I supposed to be doing here? I know how to clean bathrooms and to clean in the kitchen. I can learn other things if someone teaches me how." "You have one chore, Kenny, but it's a very important one. Make 'Bertie' happy enough that she will put aside her talk of divorce. Help her to live more in the present, and less inside her mind. If you can accomplish that, you'll have my undying gratitude, and all the friendship and respect that I can provide you with. I can be a very good friend, Kenny. I can help to open many doors that would normally be closed off to you. You do whatever you can to try to make 'Bertie' happy again, that's all I'll ever ask of you." I stayed in my room after they left, putting all my things away. After I finished that, I walked over to another door off of my closet and found a whole bathroom, just for me to use. Done with exploring, I sat on my new bed until Beatrice came and told me that it was dinner time. At dinner, I met Mr. Parsons for the first time. He was a very tall man, maybe six three, possibly even more. He had light colored hair, made lighter by the fact that it was starting to go gray. He probably weighed about two hundred pounds. He looked younger than Mr. Chalmers or Mrs. Parsons, but that was probably because he was all dressed up in a suit, and was in better physical condition than either of them. He looked healthy, while his wife looked thin and delicate, and Mr. Chalmers looked too fat. When we were introduced, Mr. Parsons smiled at me, shook my hand, and pointed me out a place next to his wife at the dinner table. The smile may have been on his face, but he didn't look very happy to meet me. His eyes didn't look happy either, as he took in the clothes that I was wearing. During dinner, I noticed the look that Beatrice was giving to Mr. Parsons. It looked a lot like the look on Bunny's face when he was climbing up those stairs, looking at Beatrice's cute fanny. I stopped looking at Beatrice long enough to catch Mr. Chalmers looking at me. He nodded to me, giving me another wink. After dinner, before he left, Mr. Chalmers took me aside, telling me that he'd spoken with Beatrice, and she now understood many things better. "Kenny, I noticed that you had already figured out the lay of the land, right at the dinner table. I have to say, that was pretty quick. It seems that our Miss Beatrice has been hard at it, making her play for Tom's affections. I've explained to both of them that it had better stop right away. If not, they'll both find themselves out on their asses, looking for work, and hunting for a new place to live. I've been somewhat remiss, what with one crisis and another, in keeping close enough tabs on what those two have been up to. That has ended as of right now. I won't tolerate those two carrying on right under 'Bertie's' nose. It is little wonder that she has taken such a sharp turn for the worse. Welcome to our family, Kenny. We can sometimes be a sorry lot, but mostly, we try to do whatever we believe to be both fair and right." I was in my room that night, trying to get my brain to slow down enough that I'd be able to get some sleep. I wasn't having too much luck with it. As soon as I'd stop thinking about one thing, something else would pop into my head. I heard a knock on my door, and then Beatrice came into my room. She was wearing a robe. I still had the little light on next to my bed, so I could see her clearly as she came over by my bed. "Look kid, I don't want or need any trouble from you or the old lady's brother. He's already mad because Tommy and I were making eyes at each other. I didn't really need it spelled out to me. I already knew which side of the bread has the butter. You tell me what I'm going to need to do if I don't want to end up sitting out on the curb. Tell me how you want to play this?" I had no idea about what she meant, and I told her so. I knew that Mr. Chalmers wanted her to be my friend, at least until school started. I told her that she could be friendlier to me. I was going to ask her if she knew any card games that we could play, but before I got a chance to ask her, she opened up her robe and she was naked underneath. "Is this friendly enough for you?" EDITED BY: G. Clement (Thanks George) {End Text Marker: DO NOT REMOVE: Paste Text Above This} ------- Chapter 2 ... I told her that she could be friendlier to me. I was going to ask her if she knew any card games that we could play, but before I got a chance to ask her, she opened up her robe and she was naked underneath. "Is this friendly enough for you?" Except for me, none of the other boys at the orphanage were older than eleven or twelve. That was because most boys got adopted by someone eventually, and St. Cecelia's tried to take younger boys in to replace the ones that left. The younger you were, the better chance that you'd be adopted. If no one took you by the time you were about ten or so, it probably wasn't ever going to happen for you. When I was little, maybe six or seven years old, there was another boy at the orphanage who was about fifteen. His name was Ronald, and he used to show all of the younger boys his dick, and the hair he had down there. He got kicked out for doing bad things with some of the other boys. He never did anything with me though. Maybe that was one of the reasons they kicked me out. Maybe they were afraid I'd do just like Ronald had. I wouldn't have. "Close up that robe before you get us both in trouble!" I was ashamed that it had taken me so long to tell her that. I bet I looked at her naked body for at least fifteen seconds before I told her that. "Tommy went out, and the old lady is sleeping. Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before? Does seeing me like this scare you?" "I'm not scared, I just don't want to get thrown out of here. Is your room the same as this one?" "Not hardly. My room is downstairs, next to Hans and Gerta's room. I'm just one of the help, kid. They are really going all out for you. What makes you so special anyway? Tommy's all pissed off, and the old lady is floating around on cloud nine. Her brother just as much as told me that if you don't love living here, I'm out on my ass. He even told Tommy to keep his hands off of me. I've been here nine months already, but you come here one day, and they give you the keys to the vault. Why?" The whole time she was talking, she left her robe open. She saw me staring at her and she started running her fingers over her body, touching herself on her bosoms and even running her fingers over that big patch of black hair between her legs. If anything, the hair down there was even darker than her head hair. She had ten times more hair down there than I did. I already knew that girls were different than boys, that they didn't have any dicks. They had a hole to pee out of, and they could take dicks into the hole to make babies. I had already practiced making my dick shoot out the sperms to make babies. Usually I did it when I was cleaning up the bathroom in the mornings. Sometimes, if I woke up thinking about doing that, I would do it in my bed into a hanky that I kept close at night. In the morning I'd wash out the hanky, and let it dry by the window sill near my bed. "Do you like what you're looking at? We could work something out, kid. I could help you, and you could return the favor. That's what friends do for each other. Suppose I was to suck you off a few times a week? Do you think you could keep your mouth shut if you found out something about Tommy and me? I think the old lady already suspects something, but its that disgusting tub of lard of a brother that pulls all the strings around here. Tommy is afraid of him, afraid of what he might do to both of us." Sucking is what had gotten Ronald kicked out of St. Cecelia's. He got caught having another boy do that to him over in the refectory. I'd already gotten kicked out of one place. I didn't want to get kicked out of here too. "You better leave, Beatrice. I don't want any trouble." She closed her robe and tied the sash tight to keep it closed. She looked at me. She looked like she was trying to decide something, like she was confused by how things were going. "What did you mean about me being friendlier then?" "I meant talk nicer to me, and maybe play some card games, or we could watch television together. Mr. Chalmers said that you would be my friend until school starts up in September. I don't think he meant what you thought he did." "Maybe you're right, kid, but that's what men have always meant before, whenever they talked about me being friendlier. Ever since I started developing at thirteen, that's what they've meant. I've seen the way that fat pig stares at me too. I don't mind Tommy, he's pretty old, but he at least makes some effort to take care of his looks and his body. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was only going to help you out because of what he said either. I think you're a little bit cute. You're young at least. A girl has to look out for herself, you know? That old lady is squirrelly. It isn't any wonder that Tommy came sniffing after me. If he does what he says he has to though, I'm going to be all alone from now on. What makes you think that you'd get in any trouble if we did what I offered?" I debated telling her about Ronald, but I didn't think I should. I trusted Mr. Chalmers a little bit, but not Beatrice. I was going to wait until the next time I saw him, and then ask him what he meant when he told her to be friendly to me. From the way he cussed on the golf course and winked after staring at Beatrice's butt, maybe he did mean what she thought. If he did mean that, I had some other questions I needed to ask him too. "I need to find out for sure first. I'm new here, and I don't know all the rules yet. Do you do that with Mr. Parsons, too?" "You are a funny kid. I don't think I'm going to discuss that with you now, maybe never. How do you plan to find out? I hope you aren't thinking of asking that old lady?" "Mr. Chalmers say that I'm his ward. He told me that I can ask him about anything I'm not sure about." "Well, do me a big favor, don't tell him what I already told you. Tell him that I have been friendly, and ask him whether he meant that you could fool around with me. Don't tell him anything I said about Tommy, or that I offered to suck your cock, okay? I suppose it might be possible that I misunderstood him, but I doubt it. Did he tell you how I came to be living here?" "He said he needed someone to look after Mrs. Parsons, to be a companion for her, and to make sure she was okay." "That was only a small part of it. I got in some trouble over in Bolling. Do you know about a small con called the badger game?" I told her that I didn't know it. "It's pretty simple. You get yourself a mark, a married guy with some dough, and you let him take you to a hotel room. You get two keys see, and you slip one of the keys to your partner, a guy. Your partner waits whatever time you've agreed on, then he makes it look like he broke through the room door and caught you red handed with the mark, in the sack. The partner then claims that me and him are married, and then he says he's going to call the cops. When the mark realizes what getting arrested will do to him, he usually try's to wiggle off the hook. My partner, pretending to be my husband, then names a price that he'd take to forget the whole thing. It's pretty clean and simple usually. "The trouble this time was that we were set up, and the mark was an undercover cop. We both got busted and put in jail. I got lucky, because the lawyer that was appointed to me was hot for me. First, he somehow got me released to him, on my own recognizance, then he took me to a hotel room and collected his retainer, sex with him, after that, he got me some help with the judge. All of the charges against me were set aside for a year, and then I was released, into the fat guys care. My partner didn't have anything to trade, so he was convicted and given five years in the state pen. The deal was, if the fat guy takes me back to court and says I haven't done well, then the charges are reinstated, and I have to go to trial like before they got me out. He can also decide to just let me go, and when that year is up, he can report to the court that I fulfilled the terms of the plea bargain, and have all the charges against me dismissed. Even if he does that, the second thing, then I have to hang around here for three more months so I can appear back in court to have the charges dismissed. If I try to run out on it, and don't show up in court, I'll have a big warrant hanging over my head." "I wonder why Mr. Chalmers ever got involved with doing something like that? That doesn't sound very honest, or even like its legal to me. Why would he do that?" "It was a big trade off, the way my lawyer told it to me. The judge was in on it too. A good friend of the fat guys had done something in the judge's court, something that the judge could have made a big stink about. Your Mr. Chalmers agreed to take me, as part of some deal, and for that, the judge agreed to forget about his friend's problem. That was how my lawyer said it all was going to happen. I was supposed to take care of the judge too, but the fat guy nixed that part of the deal. I'm glad about that, the judge looked about seventy five years old." "He told me he was doing a big favor for a colleague, but he told me the favor was finished now. I think he meant you could just leave, not that he'd make you go to jail." "It makes no difference. I have three more months to go, either here, or back out on the streets. At least here, I don't have to try to hustle just to get by. When I'm done here, I'm going to leave this state, and I'll never come back here. I've had nothing but bad luck here. The only good thing about all this is that I can put some time and distance between me and my old partner. He was nothing but bad news. He got his kicks by knocking me around a lot. I was happy to see the last of him, believe me." "It sounds to me like Mr. Chalmers tried to do his best for you. How come you don't like him?" "Believe me, to a girl, he's creepy. Even when he just looks at me like he does, it makes my skin crawl. When they turned me over to him, I thought he was going to ask for the same payment as my other lawyer. I guarantee you that I wasn't looking forward to it." "Would you have done it?" "I wouldn't have much choice, would I? I've had to do worse things, but that wouldn't mean I'd like having to do it." "How come you don't just find a job, or get married or something? What you've been telling me doesn't sound like much fun." "What I was doing before, that is my job. It's what I'm good at. You try watching that old lady, every day, all day, for nine months, and then come tell me which job is easier. On my back, I made as much in one night, as I could working this so called straight job for two weeks. With the short cons, we sometimes made as much as five thousand dollars, with a single con. I never got to see much of it, but we still made that much." "I think I'd rather work than cheat people out of their money." "I wasn't asking you to work with me on a short con, kid. Nobody would believe you were my old man anyway. So, tell me, you don't like girls?" "I never spent much time around them, unless you count Marie and the sisters. I don't know too much about girls." "I'm pretty sure that the old lady's brother meant for me to teach you. I guess he figures it would be better if I taught you, rather than having me teaching Tommy." "Why don't you call her Mrs. Parson's, that's her name?" "I'll make a deal with you, you call me Bea instead of Beatrice, which I hate, and get her to call me that, and I'll call her whatever you want me to. It would be even better if you could get the fat guy to call me that too." "I'll explain that to them, but first you have to start calling them Mrs. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers, okay?" "It doesn't make a bit of difference to me. What's your name again, kid?" "Kenny." "All right, Kenny, let's have you and me be friends then. Tell me what you thought when I opened the robe and showed you my goodies?" I smiled at her. She was teasing me now. I didn't mind her doing that though." "How come you were touching yourself? Did it feel good?" "Of course it felt good. You aren't going to pretend that you don't touch yourself? If you are, don't even try to pretend that with me. I saw your face, and how you were looking at me. I bet that you're going to be playing with your tally whacker as soon as I go back to my room. Am I right?" I knew I was blushing, because my face got really warm after she said that. "What's a tally whacker?" She reached over and put her hand lightly on my dick, which was already hard from what we were talking about. "Tally whacker, dick, salami, cock, pecker, meat, rod. There's all kinds of names for it, but I think tally whacker is the cutest." She rubbed me through my pants the whole time she was talking, but then she got up, and stopped doing it. "I'm going to leave now, Kenny. You want another peek at my body before I go, or do you already have it memorized?" She didn't wait for my answer, opening the sash on her robe and showing herself to me again. "Sleep well, Kenny. Don't do it so much that you make it sore, all right?" She laughed then, closing up her robe before she turned around and left. I took off all of my clothes except my underwear bottoms. They looked all dirty and gray next to my clean white sheets, so I finally took them off too. I tried to go right to sleep, determined not to play with myself, just in case Bea asked me in the morning if I had done it or not. I tried, but after a couple hours, I just knew I wasn't going to get to sleep if I didn't do it. I did it once, then I decided to do it again too, because the first time was better than it ever had been before. After that I fell asleep pretty easily. I woke up around seven o'clock, which was an hour later than usual for me. I got dressed and went downstairs to find the kitchen. I met Gerta, the woman who did the cooking, and supervised the two girls who came in to help with the housework. She was German, and she was pretty hefty, almost as fat as Mr. Chalmers, but shorter, about five two I'd say. Her husband, Hans, was taller, and thinner, like Mrs. Parsons. They were both pretty old, at least in their fifties. Hans was the gardener, maintenance man, driver, and sometimes the serving butler for when Mr. Parsons brought people home for dinners or parties. They both seemed nice and friendly to me. They spoke in German when they were alone, or when they didn't want me to know what they were saying. Gerta told me they had worked there for over thirty years, since when old Mr. Chalmers was still alive. I found out quickly that they didn't care much for Mr. Parsons or for Bea. Their real loyalty was to Mrs. Parsons. They were both worried about what was happening to her. They mostly blamed Mr. Parsons for not being a better husband to her, and for not giving her lots of 'kinder'. They seemed to know why I was there, and thought it might be helpful for Mrs. Parsons. Gerta complained that she was worried because Mrs. Parsons had almost stopped eating the last few weeks. She said it was from all her worrying, that she had just lost her appetite. I got to ask for whatever I wanted for breakfast. Gerta always made some kind of sweet rolls for breakfast. She said she liked them with her morning coffee. When I ate four of them, she just laughed and said she would make more from now on. She made the eggs I'd asked for up into what she called an omelette. It was something like scrambled eggs, but she put other things in it. Some sausage, onions, green peppers, diced mushrooms, and two kinds of cheese too. It sure tasted better than the scrambled eggs that Marie made for me sometimes. I knew already that I was going to really like the food around there. I was just finishing up my breakfast when Bea came in the kitchen yelling for Gerta. Mrs. Parsons had locked herself in her bathroom and wouldn't come out. Bea said it sounded like she was crying again. Hans had already gone outside by then, so it was just Gerta, Bea and I that went upstairs to Mrs. Parsons bedroom. It wasn't even a bedroom, it was something called a suite. It had two separate bedrooms and a living room, and two different bathrooms, each with their own clothes closet right by it. Gerta knocked on the bathroom door, after she got no answer to her knock, she started trying to talk to her, just as if Mrs. Parsons had asked her what she wanted. I wasn't even standing that close, but I could hear her crying too. Finally, after fifteen minutes, Gerta quit trying to get her out of there. Before she left, she gave Bea a mean look, like she blamed her for Mrs. Parsons being locked in her bathroom, and then she left. "I'm going to call her brother, Kenny. He told me to call him when she acts like this. She's liable to just stay in there all day if someone can't talk her out of it. She's done it enough other times, but usually in one of the closets." "Why don't you go call him then. I'll stay here and try to talk to her." I waited for her to turn and leave before I went over to the bathroom door. "Mrs. Parsons, it's Kenny, can you hear me all right?" I waited for a minute, but she didn't answer me. She had quieted down from her crying though. I didn't hear it at all anymore. "I thought we were going shopping today, but now I guess we aren't. Do you know what I'm supposed to do now, because nobody told me that?" I waited, I didn't hear any crying, but I did hear her moving around in there. She was doing something. I thought I heard water running in the sink. "Should I go back to my room and wait for somebody to come and tell me what I'm supposed to do?" "Kenny, why don't you go and get yourself ready to go out shopping? I need to finish up in here and then I'll come out, and we can get started. Silly me, I'm so embarrassed, I forgot all about telling you that we'd go shopping today. Hurry up and get ready now. When you're dressed, would you go tell Gerta to ask Hans to get the big car ready? I don't feel like driving myself today." I left the room just as Bea was coming back. She told me that Mr. Chalmers was over in Bolling, at the courthouse, and would get in touch after his office got in contact with him. I told her that Mrs. Parsons was just getting ready to take me out shopping, and asked Bea to go tell Gerta about Hans having to drive us today. I was already dressed in my best clothes, so I was all ready to go. I didn't want Bea going back in Mrs. Parsons room, afraid she might say something that might get her all upset again. I went back to my room and sat on my bed to wait. Twenty or thirty minutes later, Mrs. Parsons came to my door. I'd left it open for her. She looked fine, like she hadn't been crying just a short time ago. She was all smiles in fact. She was again wearing one of those dark dresses, the kind that came all the way down to her ankles. It seemed to me that they were dresses that had gone out of style a long long time ago, but I didn't say anything to her. Other than the style of her dress, she looked nice. I stood up right away, and she came over and gave me another of her big, tight hugs. "Thank you, Kenny, for reminding me that I have important things that need doing today. Sometimes, I completely forget my responsibilities. I don't know why, because I was really looking forward to spending today with you, and for the two of us to be getting to know each other a lot better. Shall we go?" "We can go, but you should go and eat some of Gerta's sweet rolls. They're so good, and we both need lots of energy for all that shopping we're going to do." "Gerta does make good rolls, but I'm in a hurry to leave, and besides, I need to watch my weight." She looked way too skinny to me, but I didn't want to upset her. "Is it all right if I get something then? I'm a little hungry. I'd like it if you would come keep me company while I ate." We sat together in the big dining room, me trying to force down another sweet roll and a large glass of milk. Gerta had put a cup of coffee and a roll in front of Mrs. Parsons, but she ignored them both. "Gerta is worried that you don't eat enough. Couldn't you try to force down a little of that roll for her?" She surprised me by doing what I asked her to. I didn't have much experience with that. Usually, it was other people telling me what they wanted me to do. In two minutes she had finished both the roll and her coffee. When she was done, I thanked her for doing that for Gerta. There was something that I didn't understand, something that was happening between us. When I praised her, I could tell that my praise meant more to her than I would have thought it would. "I liked watching you eat. It made me feel comfortable eating with someone, more like what I thought a home would be." "That was so good. We'll have to eat together every morning, if that is what you like. Shall we go now? We have so much to get done. I'm all excited just thinking about it." Hans was already out front with this big, old black car. It was the biggest car I'd ever seen. Inside, there was room for about eight or ten people. The seats faced both ways, so that people could sit in different seats and still be facing each other. Hans was sitting in the driver's seat, way up in the front. Mrs. Parsons pressed a button and told Hans to drive to the City. I thought she meant Bolling, because that was the only city I'd ever been to, but she meant Springfield. It took us almost two hours to drive there, and that was with no traffic too. I'd never been to Springfield, although we had studied it in school. There were over a million people living there. Hans was a really good driver, and he would take us right to where Mrs. Parsons told him. He'd let us out, and then meet us just when she told him she'd be finished. When it came to shopping, I didn't know anything. All of my clothes came from what people had donated to the orphanage. I got a good pick, because I had been older and bigger than all the other boys. If something came in big, I usually had first choice of it. At the orphanage, I had better clothes than most of the other boys. It didn't matter at all that I didn't know anything, because Mrs. Parsons knew everything there was to know about it. All the stores we went to seemed to have just the clothes she wanted to buy, and all in my size too. She bought me a dozen underpants without me even needing to try one of them on to see if they'd fit me. A man put a tape measure around my waist and said I was a thirty. When we went to get school pants, it was the same thing, except this time it was a lady who helped us, and she did my waist and my leg, almost touching my dick with the back of her hand. We stayed in Springfield until after five o'clock. Twice we took a time out from shopping. The first time was to go to a restaurant and eat, around two o'clock. The second time was at four o'clock so that I could go look at this giant sporting goods store. I told her I just wanted to look first, and then have some time to think about all the things I saw. I saw some nice looking golf clubs there. Mrs. Parsons told me that I should wait to be fitted by the pro at the club. She said that was the best way. I couldn't believe all of the things we bought, or that Hans could manage to fit it all inside that car, no matter how much there was. He did fit it in though, although, at the end, he needed to put some of the boxes up front with him and in the other seat with us. We had enough clothes to fill at least twenty five trash bags. I had seven new belts. I didn't even have one before, but now I owned seven. I had even more shoes. Three different kinds of sneakers, a pair of golf shoes, with those nails in the bottom, and a pair of nice boots, two different kinds of brown shoes, and three different styles of black shoes. I had tried on each of them, so I knew they all fit perfect. I had at least two dozen shirts, dress shirts, pullovers, short sleeved and long sleeved, Some of the shirts needed cuff links, because they didn't even come with buttons. I had three pair of jeans, khaki pants, blue pants, black ones, brown ones, tan ones, and even a pair that was white. She had bought me three suits, but they were being sewn up especially for me. There was a tailor who measured me for those, but he measured me all over, arms, legs, chest, waist, all over. He even asked me which way I dressed. I told him pants first, then the shirt, but he just laughed and asked which side I put my dick and balls on. I'm glad that Mrs. Parsons didn't hear him ask me that question. All the time we were out shopping, Mrs. Parsons kept seeming happier and happier to me. At lunch, she ate almost as much as I did. At about six thirty, we were already over half way home when she asked me did I mind if we stopped off somewhere and had a quiet dinner together. She said she was hungry and didn't want to go home too soon because it might spoil how good she felt. I told her that I'd like that, and then she pressed that button and told Hans to take us to the club for dinner. We went to the country club, the one where Mr. Chalmers had played the day before. When we sat down, I told her that the cheeseburgers and fries were real good there. It wasn't on the menu they handed us, but when she ordered them for us they didn't tell her that, they just went away and made them for us. They were just as good as the last time, and Mrs. Parsons finished all of hers. "I'm going to get as big as Bunny if I keep eating like this." "You could stand to gain some weight. It would look nice on you." I don't know why I told her that. Not that I didn't believe it, because I did. It just wasn't my place to tell a grown up something like that. Normally, I'd have just kept quiet. She didn't get mad or upset with me. Instead she smiled and asked me if we should both be really naughty, and order up some dessert. I told her that I'd have whatever she had. She ordered two hot fudge sundaes. My first one ever. I couldn't believe how good it tasted. She told me she often had these with her father, back when she was a little girl. She seemed happy to be remembering that. In fact, she had seemed happy all day. "Can we come back here sometime and play golf together? You'd need to teach me how. I probably wouldn't be any good at first." "I would like that Kenny. Would you like to come here tomorrow and be fitted for clubs? We can get you your first lesson with the pro, and, when your clubs are ready, we'll play together as often as you wish. I used to play a lot, but I've gotten away from it recently. I'd love to start playing again, but not by myself." "I'd rather just have you try to teach me. I watched Mr. Chalmers play, and it didn't look too difficult." "No, to learn how to play like Bunny does isn't difficult. To learn how to play golf is something else. I doubt that Bunny has ever broken a hundred." "No, he shot a fifty seven yesterday." "How many holes?" "Nine." "A full round of golf is eighteen holes. Had he played eighteen holes, he'd have scored a hundred fourteen, assuming he scored the same on the back nine as he did on the front. My advice is for you to take a few lessons using borrowed clubs, until yours are ready for you. Learning the correct way to hold the club, as well as the proper swing sequence will make all the difference in the world to your enjoyment of the game. Bunny is a wonderful man, I love him more dearly than anyone else I know, but he isn't a golfer." "All right, I'll follow your advice then. Now, can we really come back tomorrow? And, can we eat here again if we do?" "I am looking so forward to it. We will come early, and get in plenty of practice on the range. I was a fair golfer, but I need to get my swing back if I'm to enjoy playing again." After we finished our dessert, Mrs. Parsons took me over to the front part of the clubhouse. She showed me the trophy cabinet there. She pointed out this one plaque to me. the lady's club championship plaque. There was her name, Mrs. Thomas Parsons, as club champion five times in a row, ending ten years before. "I never came back to defend after that, and I still don't know why I stopped playing very much. It was probably because Tom stopped playing golf with me around then. That was right after Daddy died. He never liked it that I played better than he did. He plays with Bunny, goading him into betting, knowing that he will always win when they play. Bunny lets him do it too. Says it isn't important to him who wins, and they don't bet for too much. Tom doesn't do it for the money, He does it to show Bunny that he is the better man. I wish he were." While we were inside, Mrs. Parsons had sent Hans food order out to him. When we got back to the car, we drove straight home. I insisted on being allowed to help Hans bring in all of my new clothes. We were going up to my room with our second load, and we couldn't help overhearing Mr. Parsons yelling at Mrs. Parsons about being gone for so long without calling to say she'd be late. I heard Hans saying something, probably in German, under his breath. He saw me looking at him and smiled at me. "You make her happy today. Pay this yelling no mind. Let him yell, as long as she starts eating and smiling again. Today you did good for her. Gerta will be so happy when I tell her how she was today." Five minutes later, Mr. Parsons came barreling down the stairs and went outside to his car. A minute later, we heard him drive off. It took about six trips each, but we finally got everything up to my room. I thanked Hans and told him I appreciated him helping me carry up all of my new clothes. He wished me a good night, and left. I was tired, but I felt like I should try to sort everything out and put it away before I went to sleep. Before I did that though, I wanted to go over to Mrs. Parsons room to thank her again and see if she was all right. I knocked softly at her closed door. It took about ten seconds before she opened the door. It looked like she had been crying again. "We just finished bringing all of my new stuff in. I wanted to come say thank you, and to tell you that today has been the best day in my whole life. Not just because of the clothes you bought me either, but the whole day, from breakfast until right now. No one has ever spent so much time being nice to me. Thank you." That got me another one of her tight hugs. I admit that I was getting to really like and appreciate them. It wasn't anything like what I'd been accustomed to, and when she hugged me, it really felt sincere, something that she wanted to do. This time, I put my arms around her too, and squeezed her back. This made it even better for me, but I think it meant just as much to her. I don't know where that came from, I never got hugged that much, but I'd never hugged anyone back, never. Not even Marie, and I liked her a lot. Hugging Mrs. Parsons back just seemed natural to me, and I wanted to do it. Edited by: G. Clement ------- Chapter 3 After I said good night to Mrs. Parsons, I returned to my bedroom and started putting my clothes away. The very first thing I did was gather up all of my old clothes and put them back in the garbage bag that I had brought with me. I hoped that I'd be able to send them back to the orphanage so that some other boys could get some use out of them. If not, I was sure that Mr. Chalmers would know what I should do with them. I was halfway done going through the boxes and putting my clothes away when Bea came into my room. Once again, she was wearing that same robe. She called my name, and I went to the closet doorway so that she could see where I was. As soon as she got to my closet, she let out a whistle. It was loud and very piercing. I hoped it wouldn't wake the whole household. "Damn, Kenny, what a haul. She bought you all this stuff today?" "Who?" "The old... oh no you don't, Mrs. Parsons." "Yes, she bought it all. We spent the whole day shopping for clothes. We went out to a real restaurant too, and over to the country club where we ate again." "I bet you did all or most of the eating. She eats like a bird. I saw her eat a grape once. It took her half an hour before she made herself swallow it." "Not today. She ate breakfast, lunch, and supper. After supper we each had a hot fudge sundae. Did you ever have one of those?" "Sure I did, and a banana split too, but I think you're lying about her eating that often, unless she only had a bite at each meal." "Tomorrow we're going back to the country club to play golf, and we're going to eat there again too. Mrs. Parsons is going to buy me my own golf clubs and have me take lessons so I learn to play right. She used to be the champion golfer at the club. For five years in a row, before she quit when her father died. She said that she'd play with me whenever I want to, after I take some lessons." "I already said I'd give you some lessons, but you turned me down. What did you do after I left your room last night, Kenny? I bet I know what you did. Were you thinking about me when you did it?" "I went right to sleep. I thought we were going to be friends, Bea? How come you like to tease me that way?" "I don't know what you mean. How could I possibly be any friendlier? I give you two free shows at all my goodies, offer to suck your little weenie for you, and you claim that isn't being friendly?" "Is weenie the same as tally whacker?" "Yes, but don't try to change the subject. What have I done that wasn't friendly?" "You keep trying to embarrass me, to make me blush from the things you say to me." "Kenny, that isn't why I'm saying those things. I'm not trying to get you to blush, and I'm not teasing. Don't you think I believe what you said about going right to sleep last night either. I bet your tiny turtle has blisters on it. Let me see it. If it does I promise to kiss it and make it all better." "You're going to get me kicked right out of here. I didn't speak with Mr. Chalmers today, so I didn't get a chance to ask him yet." "I talked to him today, about an hour after you two left. He asked me if I was working hard to ensure your happiness. I told him that I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do for you. You know what he told me? He said to do whatever it takes to make you decide to stay here." "That could mean anything. Maybe he meant that you should try to be a really good friend to me." "I'm already trying. I can't do it all alone though, Kenny. You need to meet me at least part way. Are you afraid of me?" "I told you that I wasn't. What should I be afraid of? It isn't like you could attack me and make me do anything I didn't want to." "No, I meant are you afraid because you don't know what you're supposed to do?" "I'm more afraid of doing something I'm not supposed to do, and then being thrown right out of here." "If you weren't afraid of that though, are you afraid about any of the other thing I said?" "I wouldn't say afraid exactly. If I knew it didn't break any of the rules, I'd be glad to let you show me all the things you talked about. I don't think either Mr. or Mrs. Parsons would give their permission for that." "I'm sure you are right about Tommy, and I doubt if his wife would approve either. The thing is, I don't think either one of us would tell them about something like that. Do you want me to get in your closet and put on a show for you? If anyone comes in, you can stall them while I put my robe back on. I bet you'd like to see me playing with my nice hairy pussy. Most guys love it when I show them the way I like to play with myself. You liked looking at me yesterday, wouldn't you like to see what I'm hiding under all that hair?" I did want to see that, but not as much as I wanted all the things I'd lose if we got caught doing that. After the day I'd had, the thought of losing it all scared me more than I would have thought possible. I'd never been in this position before, where I had something good that I was afraid of losing. In spite of being afraid of losing out on being able to live there, I really did want to see what she was hiding under that thick mop of jet black hair. I had been changing that way lately too, thinking a lot more about women, even the sisters at the orphanage. The more I played with myself, the more I seemed to think about those kinds of things. "Could you show me really quick? I've never seen one before, and I bet you've got a real nice one." "I do, Kenny, even if me telling you that means that I'm tooting my own horn. When I get it all wet and excited, it gets very red and slick looking from all my juices. I should warn you though that it makes me really hot to have someone watching me play with it. If all you want is a quick peek though, we should probably wait for a better time. I'm not sure that you will appreciate it like you should with just a little peek at it. Don't try to rush the first time you see one. Some things deserve to have more time spent on them. I'll go in and get it all ready for you, but only if you are willing to take as much time as it needs. You need to keep the door closed until you hear me calling your name. After you open the door, it will only take a minute or two for me to show you what you want to see. It will take me some time to get ready though. Do you want me to get ready, or do you want to wait for a better time?" I knew I should have sent her away, but she was right there, and willing to show me. I was still a month away from being fifteen. Risks became less important when temptation is five feet away and looks like Bea looked right then. "No, you go on in and get ready. Call me when it's time for me to come in." After she went into my closet, I went over to my bedroom door and looked out in the hallway to make sure the coast was clear. I didn't want anyone coming in on me unexpected. Of course, that is exactly what happened to me. I was in the closet watching Bea putting on the most fascinating demonstration, when Mr. Parsons came in and started yelling at both of us in a loud and threatening voice. He even pushed me out of the closet and yelled at Bea to get herself dressed and go back to her room. She sure looked scared when she slipped past us and almost ran out of my room. "That's the thanks we get for opening our home to scum like you. Your kind always take advantage. Well, I won't have it. Tomorrow morning, first thing, you are to pack your belongings, and leave my house. If you have not done so before eight AM, I shall call the authorities and have you forcibly removed, you and Beatrice both." I had seen enough television to recognize poor acting when I saw it. I smiled at him, and this made him puff up his face and yell at me even louder. I stood there listening to him reciting all of his lines. I felt surprisingly calm about the whole thing. I was so glad that Bea had already told me about the badger game. I was sure this was Mr. Parsons way of doing it. I wonder if Bea thought I'd forgotten, or if she had been too afraid of Mr. Parsons to tell him she had already told me about how it was played. "Please get out of my room Mr. Parsons. Tomorrow morning I will call Mr. Chalmers and ask him to help me make a police report about what you are doing." "You'll do no such thing. You'll get yourself out of my house this minute. I refuse to shelter someone like you for even one more night." "Thomas, what is all this commotion about?" Mrs. Parsons was awake and she was standing in the doorway, looking at the two of us. "You go back to bed, Bertie this doesn't concern you. I caught this gutter snipe trying to take advantage of Beatrice, and now he's trying to make up stories to try to avoid the consequences of being caught." "What sort of stories, Thomas? What was he doing with Beatrice anyway? Was he in her room downstairs? Is that how you discovered him? Did he interrupt your visit with her?" "Roberta, you are overwrought. I must insist that you return to our bedroom immediately. I'll handle this." "Thomas, you better choose right now. If you leave my house immediately, I will ask Bunny not to sever you from Daddy's company. If you persist in playing out this sordid charade, I will see to it that you are completely cut off from any relationship with the company. You have one minute to start packing." Mr. Parsons face had gotten all red, I was afraid he might explode or something. For a minute, I was sure he was going to hit me, but instead he turned and left my room heading towards the suite he shared with Mrs. Parsons. "Kenny, go to bed and get your rest. We are leaving early to begin your golf instruction. Don't worry about any of this. We'll get it all sorted out, I promise. Good night dear." I couldn't believe how calm and composed she seemed. Where was that frightened and distraught woman who had locked herself in her bathroom this morning? A couple handfuls of hours later, she was issuing marching orders to Mr. Parsons and trying to make sure that I was calmed down and okay. She did make me calm. In fact I had perfect faith that she would sort everything out, just like she said. That is pretty much exactly what happened too. Mr. Parsons left that night, Mrs. Parsons came down in the morning and ate breakfast with Bea and I. I could see that Bea was nervous. She must have been sure that she was in for it now. "Beatrice, I must say I am disappointed in your behavior." "She prefers to be called Bea." I had forgotten to make Mrs. Parsons aware of this the day before. "Is that true? Why didn't you say something to me? After all these months I would have thought you'd correct us on something as basic as your name preference. I am capable of remembering someone's name preference, Bea. Do you have anything that you wish to tell me Bea, anything about your part in this scandalous behavior?" "Just that Tommy told me I better go along with his plan if I knew what was good for me. I knew it wasn't going to work. I already told Kenny about that small con, you can ask him if I didn't." "She did. I knew she was only going along with it because she was afraid that he'd throw her out if she didn't. I hope you aren't going to do that. Bea is a friend of mine. I know she never meant for this to happen." "If you let me stay, Mrs. Parsons, I'll be good, and I won't get in any more trouble." "It would be easier for me to believe you were the victim Bea, if I wasn't already aware of you seducing Thomas. I have difficulty tolerating such a personal affront to my dignity." "He's your husband Mrs. Parsons. After all these years of being married to him, you must know that I didn't do it for any pleasure he was giving me." Mrs. Parsons laughed, which made Bea laugh too. It didn't make any sense to me, but I was so relieved that they were both laughing that I started laughing too. Gerta came in just then, and I think she was so happy to see Mrs. Parsons laughing that she started in as well. When we all wound down, Mrs. Parsons spoke again. "I am inclined to listen to Kenny in this matter, Bea. I cannot forgive you for your affair with my husband, although I believe your assertions about it bringing no pleasure to you. What I will do is overlook it until such time as the court releases you from the liabilities of your plea agreement. You are not to have further discourse with Kenny on matters such as those you've previously broached with him. If you persist in those, I'm quite certain that you shall regret it. Do I make myself clear to you?" "Yes, Ma'am, very clear, and thank you. This is more than I'd hoped for. I'm sorry for the trouble I caused you." "I'm sorry for that as well. Bunny is going to be so upset because I'm getting my divorce. I've waited long enough though. I should have done it right after Daddy died. Thomas was right in waiting until Daddy died so that he could make his true nature known to me. I won't tolerate him any more though, in spite of what Bunny's wishes may be. Kenny, let's go to the club and hit some golf balls. Gerta, do not set a place for Mr. Parsons at the table tonight. He is no longer welcome in this house. If Bunny calls, tell him to be here for dinner tonight. Tell him we'll eat at seven thirty sharp, and I won't tolerate him being tardy. We have so very much that we need to discuss." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 4 This time, Mrs. Parsons drove us out to the country club in her own personal car. It wasn't as big as the one that Hans had driven us in, but it was a nice car. She didn't speak to me at all on the drive over to the country club, and I was afraid to ask her if she was mad at me for what happened the night before. As soon as we got there, she took me down to where Mr. Chalmers had taken me. She didn't bring any golf clubs with her though. We went past where I'd stopped the first time, with Mr. Chalmers, walking around the corner, and over towards the other end of the big building. Mrs. Parsons walked over to a door which turned out to be a store. It had clothes, clubs, balls and golf shoes. She asked the man behind the counter where Dave was. He picked up a phone and spoke into it. When he put the phone down, he told Mrs. Parsons that Dave would be coming down to see her in just a few minutes. In two or three minutes a short, dark haired man, about fifty years old, came into the store and walked over to us. Even though he had a paunchy stomach, there was something about him that made him look exceptionally healthy. He seemed to radiate energy and vitality. "Bertie, its really good to see you again. Its been too long since we've had you out here with us. Where have you been keeping yourself?" He came closer and the two of them exchanged a big hug and he kissed Mrs. Parsons on her cheek. "Hello, Dave. It's really good of you to see us like this, especially when I didn't give you advance warning that we were coming out today. This young man is Kenny Masters. He's going to be staying with us from now on, and I wanted to get him started learning to play golf. Do you think you could find some time to fit him in for a few swinging lessons? Just enough to get him well started on developing a sound, fundamental, swing." "Bertie, you know I always have time for you and yours. I've got some time this morning in fact, if he's ready to get started." He looked over at me then, and I felt like he was taking all of my measurements in his mind, almost the same way that tailor for my suits had, except Dave didn't seem to need a tape measure. After a few seconds he spoke to me. "It's a pleasure to meet you Kenny. Tell me a little bit about yourself. First, how old are you?" "Thank you, sir. I'm almost fifteen." "What kind of games do you most like to play?" "I used to like baseball, but I stopped playing when I got too big for the other kids." "I don't understand. What do you mean when you say you got too big?" "I grew up in an orphanage. The other kids were all younger and smaller than me." "All right. Tell me about golf. How much do you already know about it?" "I saw people playing it on television, and I came out here with Mr. Chalmers, and watched him play some." "Did you ever try it for yourself?" "No sir, but it looks like a lot of fun." "It is, Kenny. The thing is though, the better you play, the more fun it is. Some people, like Mr. Chalmers for example, don't appreciate the game as much as they could, if only they really understood it. I've given up on him though." "Dave, I'd like you to measure and fit Kenny for a set of clubs. If you have a set of loaners for him, while you're making up his clubs, I'd like for you to take him out to the range and get him started with some swing training. I'll go out too, and hit some balls, to keep myself busy, and to keep you and Kenny company." "Bertie, I think we're both in luck that you came by today. I've got a nice new set that is pretty standard. I made it up for a guy who never came back to pick them up after ordering them from me. I think they'd be a good fit for Kenny, at least until I find out what his swing is going to look like. After we find that out, I can bend them a little to adjust things for his particular swing. The man gave me a deposit of half down too, when I fitted him, so I can make you a real good deal on the set. It comes with a nice bag, and three woods. This is what I'd recommend we do, because then, we can go out and start hitting some balls right away." "That sounds perfect. Can you get someone to bring up my clubs too?" "Why don't you two head on over to the range, Bertie, and I'll get someone to bring the clubs over to you? I'll meet you over there in five minutes." We went out of the store, then turned right again, and went around to the far side of the building. When we turned the corner, there was a real big green there, with a lot of holes cut in it, and little flag sticks sticking up about two feet above the holes. Mrs. Parsons told me it was the place golfers came to practice their putting. We went past that putting green, on over to a place that had a big fence all the way down the left hand side. There was netting up all the way, and it was at least forty feet tall. There were telephone poles about every fifty feet that the netting was hung from. The grass over there was all torn up from people hitting golf balls. We found a place where the grass was all nice and smooth, and Mrs. Parsons showed me some stretching exercises to do so that I wouldn't pull a muscle when I tried to golf. We were still doing those exercises when Dave came over with another man who was carrying two golf bags, and two big containers filled with golf balls. It looked like each bucket had about two hundred balls in them. Dave showed me each of the clubs in my new set, and explained about how they were supposed to work. He spent about half an hour showing me how he held the clubs in his hands, and then he started hitting balls with each of the clubs. He wasn't anything like Mr. Chalmers when he hit a golf ball. First, he didn't swing as hard as Mr. Chalmers, but his balls went a lot farther, and were a whole lot straighter. I saw they were set up so that the higher the number on the club, the less distance he could hit it. I was getting worried that he wasn't going to let me try to hit balls too. Mrs. Parsons had moved about twenty feet to the left of where we were, taking one of the buckets and her clubs, and she had started in hitting some balls on her own. I took a few peeks, but Dave still got almost all of my attention. I noticed his grip on the club was a lot different than Mr. Chalmers had been. The biggest difference was that Dave had his right hand tilted a lot more on top of the club than Mr. Chalmers had his. When Dave put a club in my hand and made me try to make my hands the same as his were, it seemed unnatural to me. I showed him how Mr. Chalmers held his, and he just laughed. "The grip is the cornerstone of building a good golf game. Without a good grip, you can't ever be a good golfer. The grip is the secret to having a repeatable swing, and a repeatable swing is the only way anyone can manage to strike the ball consistently. Bunny's grip causes him to spray the ball all over the place. I bet I've tried to get him to change it a thousand times over the last thirty years. He doesn't want to change it though, says it feels comfortable to him. You need to learn a good grip right from the start, it's that important to the building of a good golf game." He started letting me hit golf balls with a nine iron. He would let me hit a few, and then he'd keep putting me back in the posture he'd set me in the first time. I started being able to hit the ball better after about ten minutes, making it fly in the air a lot of the time, and out in the general direction that I was aiming for. After an hour, he set up a time for me to come back the next day. He told me not to hit anymore, but to watch Mrs. Parsons while she practiced. I went over and sat in the grass by her. She had hit about half of her big bucket already. She smiled at me, and told me that she was really enjoying herself. We talked about golf, and about how good a teacher Dave was. She seemed like she was feeling better, less worried than she had seemed on the way over to the club earlier. "Did you enjoy your first lesson, Kenny?" "Yes, but I wish I could hit the ball better. Mine didn't go very far when I hit them. Not nearly as far as yours do." "What were you hitting? What number club?" "A nine." She took the club she had been using back to the bag, putting it away. She looked around in her bag, then selected her nine iron. When she began hitting balls with her nine iron, I saw that her balls didn't go that much farther than some of my best shots had gone. That made me feel better for some reason. Watching her hit balls, I could see the difference in her swing from Dave's. His had been practiced and controlled, where hers was smoother and looked more graceful. Her swing was pretty, while Dave's was only efficient. Both of them were able to hit the balls to the same place almost every time. I wondered who would win if they ever played against each other. I watched her hitting with the longer clubs, the ones with the wooden mallets on them. These clubs made the ball go really far. Most of the time though, when Mrs. Parsons hit the ball with these clubs, it would start to curve off to the right. It looked a lot like the same thing Mr. Chalmers balls had done. She told me this was a slice. I could see that she didn't like the ball doing that, didn't like it, not even one tiny bit. She didn't start cussing like Mr. Chalmers had though. She did start adjusting her feet, and changing the way she took the club back. After some changes, she started hitting some good ones that were included in with all the slices. About one good one for each two bad ones. I noticed on the good ones, she had a little pause, from the time she pulled the club back, until when she started moving it back towards the ball to hit it. When she sliced it, I didn't see any pause. Also, when she paused, the club seemed to move faster coming forward, and I could hear more of a wind noise as it cut through the air. The last thing I noticed was, on her good swings, the angle of her swing seemed more up and down, rather than side to side, like a baseball swing. I didn't say anything though, I just watched. "What do you make of this, Kenny? Bunny said you saw something in his swing, just from watching it once." "I'm not sure, but you seem like you hit it straight when you take it back slower and then wait just a half a second before swinging forward at the ball. When you do that, it doesn't look like you're swinging as hard, but the club makes a faster and louder sounding noise as it cuts through the air. On your good ones, you seem to be steadier when you hit the ball, like you are evenly balanced or something. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not. I bet Dave could say it a lot better." "Dave isn't here, Kenny. Did you really notice all of that?" "I just watched what you did, and then watched how the ball went. I'm not sure if any of what I saw is the reason why it goes like that." She started trying to swing slower, taking practice swings only. Soon, she was making that noise on almost every swing. The noise when she was swinging down faster. Kind of like wind blowing in a closed area, that kind of noise. After a few more swings, I heard her say something that sounded like 'tempo'. She lined up with her stance perpendicular to the ball, wiggling her club directly behind the ball, and then she took a nice, smooth, swing. The ball lifted up and went as straight as an arrow before landing and rolling forward some distance further. She teed a few more up and hit all of them the same way. From the way she was smiling, she really liked the way she was hitting the ball. "Kenny, do you want to try to play a few holes with me before lunch?" "Really? All I know how to hit is my nine iron." "We won't even try to keep your score. We'll just go out and have some fun. Would you like to try really playing?" I told her that I would, and we walked back to behind the clubhouse and got a golf cart. She let me drive it. She went in and said something to the man inside the store, and then came back out again. She was smiling, and asked me if I was ready. We only played six holes. She really was a lot better player than Mr. Chalmers was. Watching her play was much different than watching him. She also explained how to mark scorecards, and told me about birdies and pars and bogey's. She made a birdie on the third hole, it was a par five. She made it onto the green in three, and then one putted for her birdie. I made an eight on that same hole, but I was using my nine iron and my putter. Mrs. Parsons told me I could use the other clubs, but I told her I wanted to learn the nine iron before I tried any of the other ones. Even with the nine iron though, I made it to the green in five and then took only three putts to make it. For the six holes, she shot one more than par, and was twenty four over. She said I did good for my first time playing. I thought I did pretty well too, but I knew I'd get better with some more practice. We drove back, and the same guy came out who helped Mr. Chalmers and me that first time. He took care of everything just like he did before, but Mrs. Parsons didn't pay him any money like Mr. Chalmers had. He was a good sport about it though, and didn't say anything to her. We went up and went to the restaurant. After all of that exercise, I was really hungry. I got another cheeseburger just like before, but Mrs. Parsons ordered some kind of a salad for herself instead. "Kenny, do you have any concerns about Mr. Parsons and I getting a divorce?" "Does it mean you have to make any changes about me living at the house with you? Divorce is just the two of you stopping being married, right?" "Yes, that's all it is. Now we're married, but soon, we won't be any longer. I hope that you'll still want to remain living with me. I enjoy your company, and I feel better having someone around to talk with, and to do things with, like play golf. I'm sure Bunny told you, and you've seen some of it for yourself, but I have these times when I'm not able to do things. I started having these times back when I was even younger than you are now, Kenny. I don't know why they happen. When they do, I just want to be alone. I'm not good company for anyone then. I like to pretend that I can just go off and hide from the world. It becomes a very sad time for me when I feel like this. Most people cannot understand, and they think less of me because I have this weakness. I hope you won't think less of me when it happens, Kenny. I don't think I could bear to see the same kind of disappointment and disapproval that I always received from Thomas during my periods of needing to be alone. He always referred to them as my 'ditzy times'. I think of them as either my melancholy or my moody periods." "Have you gone to a doctor to find out the cause?" "Many times, many doctors. They all agree that there is some mental cause. They disagree about what the cause is. To me, it doesn't matter why. If I could make it stop, I would. I hate not being able to float through life without a care in the world. I hate causing people I care about to have to worry. In my own way, I fight to try to minimize the effect it has over me." "It bothers me to listen to you crying, but it doesn't disappoint me. I don't think I disapprove either. Aren't you just doing it because that's how you feel? It sounds like you don't want to have to go through all of that." "I'm glad you understand that. Thomas thought it was something that I could turn on and off, if I just set my mind to it. It isn't like that." "How come you didn't get a cheeseburger? Salads don't really fill you up like real food." "I don't like being too full all the time. I'm only eating the salad to keep you company, and to keep you from becoming concerned about me. Normally, I don't eat even this much. Do you really think I need to gain some weight?" "Sure. I do too, especially if we're going to do a lot of fun things like you said. Food is energy, that's what the sisters at St. Cecelia's always said. Gerta is such a good cook too, and she can make you whatever you want her to." "I want to please you, Kenny. I don't like to disappoint people. I'll try to eat more, if that makes you happier, but not as much as you like to eat. My body doesn't process food as efficiently as yours does. Is that all right?" "Sure, I guess it would be all right, especially if you ate as much as necessary to keep Gerta from worrying. I was going to ask Mr. Chalmers about Bea. You're still going to let her keep on being my friend aren't you?" "I worry about some of her unhealthy habits when it comes to displaying friendship, Kenny. She is a young woman who has grown accustomed to using her body to achieve her purposes. You are a young boy, not even fifteen years old. I fear her becoming a corrupting influence on you." "I like her, and she doesn't have any other friends around. I don't think she really likes me the way you think she does. I think she only pretended because Mr. Parsons asked her to." "Kenny, you really are an innocent. At least I hope that you still are? Someone like Bea could take that innocence away from you, and once you've lost it, you can never get it back." "I'm not so innocent, Mrs. Parsons. I think about those things all the time. Bea said she'd help me, and give me lessons about some things I want to learn." "I don't want to discuss this with you, Kenny. Let's just consider that subject closed, shall we? The idea of Bea with you, in that way, it seems very wrong to me. If you wish to please me, you'll avoid any improprieties with her." "There were times that I hated staying at the orphanage. Mostly it was because they kept making me do things I didn't want to do. Their rules were dumb, and only made it so they got to stay in control of everything. I never wanted to live like that, where other people were the only ones who got to decide what was best for me." "Kenny, as much as it would hurt me to lose you, I'd rather do that right now, then allow you to dictate to me the limits you will tolerate for my authority in raising you. If I am to be the person in your life that I hope to be, I cannot give in to your attempt to coerce me into letting you have your own way with this. It isn't right for a boy as young as you are to experiment with sex, especially with a harlot." "What about someone my own age then?" "I still think you're far too young to experiment at all. However, with someone who was your own age, and who had a comparable level of experience, this would be more acceptable to me than Bea could ever be. Why do you feel the need to rush headlong into it? Why not enjoy these final years of your childhood? The rest will come naturally, Kenny, all in due time." "I still think it should be me that gets to decide personal things like that. I'm grateful to you though, for letting me come stay with you. I'll try hard not to step over the limits that you set." "I'll try not to be unreasonable about setting those limits. There are some things, however, that I feel very strongly about. Protecting you from being preyed upon, even if being preyed upon is now your single greatest wish and desire, is one of those things I feel strongest about." "I just wanted to look at her. I've never seen a real girl like that before. She was going to show me, and tell me things to do with a woman." "Kenny, that will be enough. This conversation is beginning to upset me now. I try to make allowances, really I do, but you seem deliberately to be trying to see how far you can push me." "Let's change the subject then. How long do you think it will take before I'm good enough at golf to beat Bunny?" She laughed. I think you'll be able to beat him in a month, if you practice. You would have to keep allowing Dave to help you with your game. You might be able to give me a real challenge in another year, but only if you work very hard at learning how to play. Would you like to beat Bunny?" "Just so he could see that he should learn to play better than he does. I wouldn't want to beat him to make him feel bad. I thought if he saw how easy it was to learn how to play right, maybe he'd let Dave coach him, so that he could enjoy golf more than he does." "That's very commendable. I have to warn you though that all of us have tried things like that before. Bunny prides himself on being able to resist getting better through lessons. He much prefers his own trial and error methods. He believes experience is the best teacher. You would think that all his golfing experience would have dissuaded him from that belief." We finished eating, and this time we didn't order dessert. I would have liked another hot fudge sundae, but she didn't offer, and I wasn't going to ask. We drove home, and again, we didn't talk at all to each other. I didn't know, maybe she needed to keep all of her attention on driving. When we got home, she went up to her room and closed her bedroom door. I went out into the kitchen and got to eat some of the strudel that Gerta had just taken out of the oven. That was really good, because it was still fresh and hot. I'd only eaten a few forkfuls when she came over with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream. I avoided being alone with Bea for the next few days, but she wasn't coming up to my room at night anymore anyway. Every morning Mrs. Parsons would take me out to the golf course. She would hit balls the whole time Dave was working with me. When my lesson was over, she and I would play nine holes together. I was getting better, and was using all of the irons now. Dave told me to leave my woods in the bag until after he'd taught me how to hit them. I finished the nine holes on the third day with a score of sixty three. On the next morning after that, Mrs. Parsons claimed that she didn't feel well, making Hans take me for my golf lesson. She stayed up in her room the whole day. That night, before I went to sleep, I went to her room, but she wouldn't answer me when I tried to talk to her. Mr. Chalmers hadn't come to see Mrs. Parsons since before Mr. Parsons was sent packing. Several times since then, she had left messages for him to contact her, but he hadn't ever called or come over to the house. When Mrs. Parsons again stayed in her room the following morning, I had Gerta call Mr. Chalmers at his office, to leave a message that I needed to speak with him as soon as possible. Hans drove me over to the country club, and Dave gave me my golf lesson for the day. While we were doing the lesson he asked me if Mrs. Parsons was feeling all right. I told him that she was fine, that she had other things she needed to take care of. I don't think he believed me, but he didn't ask any other questions about her. While I waited for Mr. Chalmers to call, I worried that I was the reason for her not wanting to come out of her room. I really liked her a lot, and hoped that it wasn't that conversation in the country club restaurant that caused her to get like she was. I went to her bedroom door and told her that I was sorry if I had upset her. I promised her that I'd try to be better. I don't know if she heard me or not, because she didn't answer me, or acknowledge my presence in any way. At around two o'clock that afternoon, Mr. Chalmers showed up at the house. He looked upset in general, and mad at me in particular. "Let's go Kenny, come outside, we need to talk. Now!" He turned around, and started walking down the stairs again. When I came out of my bedroom, I noticed that Mrs. Parsons bedroom door was cracked open, just a little bit. It had been closed for two days, and this was the first time I had seen it opened since she went in there. I walked down the stairs, watching Mr. Chalmers hurrying out the front door. I increased my own pace, almost running after him, not wanting to make him any angrier at me. I came out the front door and saw him climbing into his car. I went over and got in the front passenger seat. As soon as my door was closed, he took off, driving all the way around the fountain, and then heading straight down the driveway to the regular road below. He drove back towards Ridgeline, then he pulled off the road and parked his car, turning off his motor. "Did you tell Bertie that you wanted to leave her home?" "No, did she say I did?" "She called me, and she was crying because she was sure that you wanted to leave. What better situation than this could you ever expect to find? Now she's up hiding in her room, convinced that you hate her. Is that what you wanted?" "I don't think she thinks that at all. Maybe she just said that to get you to come out to see her. It's partly your fault that she's staying up in her room right now. She has been trying to see you since she threw Mr. Parsons out a week ago, but you never came or even called her. So don't try to blame it all on me." "My fault? How is it my fault? Bertie just gets this way, she always has. Something happens to set her off, and then she goes and hides for awhile. She always gets over it, and then it is all good again, right up until the next little thing sets her off. She only calls me though when something pretty bad happens. She said you wanted to leave." "I think she went to her room this time mostly because you kept staying away from her. She wanted your support and you didn't come and give it to her." "That's because I don't support her in that. You're talking about this row she's having with Tommy, right? That will all blow over in a week or two. We need Tommy at the company right now, whether she understands that or not. I've talked to him already, and I explained to him exactly how he needs to start behaving. She won't have any more trouble from him." "She wants to divorce him. He yells at her all the time, and he does bad things with Bea." "I spoke to him about Beatrice, if that's who you mean. He knows how I feel about that. I don't think anyone needs to worry about him carrying on inside the house anymore." "She likes Bea better than Beatrice. Why can't Mrs. Parsons divorce Mr. Parsons if that's what she wants to do? She already told him that she didn't care if he stayed running the company. She seems happier when he isn't there. If you came when she asked you to, you'd have seen how good she was feeling. I think she worries that you won't approve, or won't let her divorce him." "She's right to worry about that. A divorce right now is out of the question. I've told her that a hundred times. The company is in a crucial transition right now. We need Tommy at his best, and we need to present a united front. A divorce right now might kill off all of our prospects for taking the company through a merger with Consolidated Foods." "If it did mess it up, would you be poor?" "Not poor, but it would cost the three of us a lot of money. With a divorce, even if the merger did still go through, it might make it difficult for Tommy to stay on running our part of the new company, after the merger. If that happened, then it would cost Bertie and me a lot of money." "I don't understand. Why do you want them together if everyone is going to be unhappy and yelling at each other, or if your sister is going to be sad all the time and crying in her room. She was getting better until you didn't come to see her. It sounds like you're on her husband's side. She was eating everyday, and we were having fun. She was playing golf, and teaching me how to play. In another week, I'd have been able to beat you playing golf." "Kenny, six more months and the merger will be complete. She's been married twenty one years, what difference will another six months make?" "I don't think she'd mind waiting for a divorce, but she wants him gone, and she expects you to be on her side." "Do you remember what I said your only job was, Kenny? It was to make Bertie happy. It doesn't seem to me that you've been doing that job." "I still think she'd be happy again if you told her that you supported her in keeping Mr. Parsons away from her, and that it was okay for him to not be living at the house anymore." "Kenny I already told you that the merger has to come first. After it gets done, we'll sort out whatever Bertie needs to sort out. Tommy is staying in the apartment they own in the city, but he can't remain staying there by himself, because people will start to talk. I need him here so that we all look like one big happy family again." "You're a lot like Mother Superior, except you use money like she used God, letting it justify everything you do." He looked over at me. I noticed that his hands on the steering wheel had gotten really white. He was really mad at me, I could tell, because I'd seen that look from a lot of the sisters at the orphanage over the years. It took him a couple of minutes to get himself where he was able to talk without yelling at me. "Kenny, our company employs over seven hundred people directly, and I'm sure at least that many, if not a whole lot more, indirectly. All of these people depend on Tommy to preserve their jobs. He has run the company by himself, for the last ten years, navigating it safely through some pretty dangerous waters. We are in an industry where only the strongest survive. We need this merger. Without it, the company will eventually be unable to compete. Everyone will lose their jobs if that happens. "Once the merger is accomplished, and Tommy gets his long term employment contract ratified by our new merger partners, all of my agreements with him will have come to an end. Until then, he remains a client of mine, and I need to represent his interests, even though they might conflict with my own personal interests. Do you understand?" "Does Mrs. Parsons understand? Maybe if you told her what you needed, and why, it would make it easier for her. Right now, she thinks you're on his side." "Kenny, I know you think you understand what made her sad this time, but there is nothing that can keep her from being depressed for very long. Instead of focusing on her bad times, you should try to make her good days the best for her that you can. I think you might be right about my needing to explain things to her, but I don't want you thinking her bad days will just disappear, because they won't." "That's all she wants, I bet, for you to let her know that you're on her side, not his. I know she gets this way a lot, she already warned me. I just think that sometimes there is a cause for her worst times, and letting her know things will be better, and that you are on her side, will help." We drove back to the house and Mr. Chalmers went upstairs and knocked on Mrs. Parsons door. I went up a few minutes later, and he wasn't outside the door, so she must have let him in. I went back downstairs, and went into the kitchen to see if Gerta had anything I could eat. Mr. Chalmers stayed up there a long time. When they hadn't come down by six thirty, Gerta fed Bea and me in the kitchen, and then put all of the leftovers carefully away. After supper, Bea and I watched television over in the library room. We talked together quietly. I told her some of what Mr. Chalmers had told me, the part about needing Mr. Parsons for the merger, and told her what Mrs. Parsons had said to me about worrying about Bea teaching me things. "Well, she's right to worry, you know? That thing about losing your innocence, she's right about that too. I've been climbing the walls this past week. I'm even thinking about making a pass at old Hans, except I'm afraid Gerta would poison my food if I ever did. A lot of girls who make their money like I do, they don't really like what they have to do. They only do it for the money, not for enjoyment. Not me. I did it plenty, long before I ever made a dime from it. Sooner or later, I'm going to need to get some action. You're off limits, Tommy is gone, and I'm afraid of Gerta. I think I need to take a couple days off, and go somewhere to get my itch scratched. Today, I even thought about giving your Mr. Chalmers a little tumble, and that means I'm getting desperate. I need to go somewhere, Kenny." I felt bad hearing her talk that way. First, I felt bad because I wanted her to do those things to me, but we couldn't. Second, I felt bad because Bea was going to go do them with somebody else. Third, when she said that about Mr. Chalmers, I got jealous of him. I knew it would be worse if she did things with Mr. Chalmers, or even Mr. Parsons, because I knew both of them. I'd be able to picture both of them when I thought about Bea letting them do things to her. That time in my closet, she had been doing things to herself. I got a good look too, before Mr. Parsons came into my bedroom. If he had waited for five more minutes, I would have put my dick right in her. She was already telling me she wanted me to. She had two of her fingers in her pussy when he came in and caught us. Now, from what I saw that day, I had a pretty good idea of what she'd be doing with someone else. "I wish we could do that together, Bea. I think of it all the time, every night." "Kid, you heard what she told me. Believe me, I'd be willing. Some of that was Tommy's idea, but not all of it. He didn't tell me to put on as much of a show for you as I did. I like the idea of taking someone like you and teaching him. If she would allow it, I'd be in your room right now, showing you the best ways to please a woman. That's the main reason why she is so right too. After I leave here, you'd be going as crazy as I'm going right now, needing to get your knob polished regularly. It becomes an addiction, and it doesn't take long for you to get hooked." "I'm already hooked. I just have to do it with you, Bea. Can you come to my room tonight? After everyone's asleep?" "No way, Kid. Ask me again right before I need to head over to that court to be released from my charges. I need a place to stay, and to stay out of trouble until then." "Suppose I got permission from Mrs. Parsons? Would you come to my room then?" "Sure. I'm having a hard time saying no to you right now. You get her to say it's okay, and I'll be all over you." "Will you wait a few days before going out to look for anyone else?" "Oh kid, you've got it bad don't you? You don't like the idea of somebody else stirring my little honey pot, do you? That's so cute. It makes me want to do things with you even more than before. Go up to your room. Do it now before I lose control and attack you. I can't trust myself around you right now. I wish that you were a few years older, Kid. It might be worth it if I didn't have to worry about statutory rape charges too." I reluctantly left the library to head up to my room. When I got to the top of the stairs, I saw Mr. Chalmers standing just outside his sister's doorway. They were hugging, and he was kissing her right on her lips. His hands were around her waist, and it looked like he was playing with her butt. They stopped kissing, and when she saw me looking at them, she pushed him away and closed her door really hard. He said something to her that I couldn't make out, but when he turned and saw me, his face got red, and he stopped speaking through her door. "Were you spying on us, Kenny? I don't appreciate sneaky behavior." I could tell he was more embarrassed than angry. Besides, I hadn't done anything wrong, he had. I might be an orphan, but even I knew you weren't supposed to kiss your sister like that, or touch her butt like he had been doing. It was almost nine o'clock right then, and he'd gone into her bedroom at around two thirty. Something funny was going on between them. I started moving forward, towards my bedroom, and Mr. Chalmers started walking towards me. I walked into my room, and he kept coming too. When he was inside my room, he closed my door. "Tell me what you think you saw, Kenny. I don't want you getting the wrong impression, and then saying something to Bertie to get her upset all over again. I just now managed to calm her back down." "I saw the two of you hugging, that's all. Does she feel better after you talked with her?" "Yes, she's fine right now, except I think she might be worried that you will get the wrong idea about the kiss and me putting my hands around her like that. It's just a silly game we've played ever since we were youngsters. I can see though, where it would look funny to people who didn't know us that well. It isn't what it might seem." "Can't you tell her all I noticed was the hug?" "No, she isn't stupid, Kenny. She knows what you saw, and how it must have looked. We both have to go see her together, and you have to tell her that I told you what it was, and that you don't have the wrong idea about us." "It was just a game the two of you play, one you've always played." "Yes. Have you ever done 'cross your heart, hope to die'? This was just like that for us. She promised to try to put up with Tommy for a little while longer, and to try not to worry, and I promised to help her get rid of Tommy after the merger goes through. The kiss, and the butt jiggle, are like a pinky promise, or a cross my heart promise. It was funny when we were both kids, and that's how we've always done it." "I guess that makes sense. The sisters always said we weren't to do the cross your heart promises. I thought only kids did things like that though." "It is mostly just symbolic for us now, Kenny. A reminder of how far the two of us go back together. She reminded me tonight that my loyalty to her is greater than the professional duty I have to Tommy. Can we go over to her room now, and I'll explain to her that I told you what it meant, and that you accept it?" "Sure. I'm glad she's feeling better. Did you get her to eat anything?" "Not yet, but you can ask her to go down to the kitchen with you, after I leave." So that is what we did. We both went to her door and Mr. Chalmers knocked. Mrs. Parsons opened her door after he told her that I was with him and that he'd already explained things to me. He told her that I knew what it had meant, and that I understood it was just their carryover from childhood. She told me that she was feeling a lot better, and that she was looking forward to going to my golf lesson with me the next morning. I asked her if she wanted to come raid the refrigerator with me, but she told me she'd have a big breakfast with me in the morning. We all said our good nights, and Mr. Chalmers left, and I went back to my room, got undressed and went to bed. It was later in the night or early morning when I awoke because someone had my dick in their mouth and was sucking on it. I only woke up because it felt so good, and I was ready to explode. In fact, that is what I was doing when I woke up, exploding inside Bea's mouth. I was going to say something to Bea, but she made a shushing sound with her finger near her mouth, and started sucking me some more. In a minute, I was hard again, and she sat on top of me, putting my dick up inside her pussy. It felt nice, real nice, and I had a thousand questions I needed to ask her. I knew that there would be a better time for talking, and she looked like she only wanted to just concentrate on what she was doing. In a minute, she started squeezing me, with her knees and with her pussy, and then she started making some noises. She didn't get too loud, and it didn't last too long, but I was afraid someone would hear her, and come to my room to investigate. I didn't want to get caught, but I was too excited myself to worry that much about it. When I felt myself ready to shoot out my semen again, I think I started making noises too, because Bea put her hand over me and covered my mouth with it. I finished up finally, and felt myself slip out of her. I was sure that we had made a big mess on my sheets. Bea just laid down on my chest. She didn't act like she was worried at all that we might get caught. I wrapped my hands around her, and just rested there. She was heavy, but it felt nice to have her laying on me. I started thinking about all my questions again. I was wondering if she would get mad if I started asking her some things, if I was careful and only whispered the questions in her ear. "Bea, why did you change your mind?" "Couldn't get to sleep. Rather be kicked out on the street than be poisoned by Gerta." "Did I do okay. I mean, I wasn't terrible or anything, was I?" "Kenny, be quiet. You did fine. You're already better than Tommy is. This isn't something we want to do very often, but I needed to get my itch scratched right away, and you were my best option. I'm leaving now. Try not to act different when you see me, that's a dead giveaway." She got up and went into my bathroom. A few minutes later, she opened my bedroom door and walked out. I waited about ten minutes, and then I got up and turned on my bedroom light. I checked out my bed, and there was a wet place right where we had been joined. I went in the bathroom and got my face cloth wet, before coming over to my bed, and wiping at the wet place. I hoped that it would get dry overnight, and not leave a stain that the maids would find and then report it to Mrs. Parsons. I went in my bathroom, after turning off my bedroom light again, and took a shower. I also changed out of the underpants I'd been wearing, just in case. When I was done, I went back to bed. I slept way over on the left side, away from the wet area. When I woke up later that morning, the sheet was still wet. I figured I'd get caught for sure, but there wasn't anything else I could think to do. I did think about peeing on the wet place and pretending that I'd wet my bed. In the end, I decided not to do that. I'd rather Mrs. Parsons knew I'd lied to her about Bea, than have her think I was a bed wetter. Nobody said anything to me at breakfast. Bea seemed the same as usual, and Mrs. Parsons had two sweet rolls and asked Gerta for two refills on her coffee. Gerta was happy, Mrs. Parsons seemed happy, and even Bea seemed happy. Of everybody, I was the only one who seemed nervous about anything. At the golf course, Dave taught me how to hit the woods for the first time. I couldn't seem to make the ball go in the same direction twice in a row. The ones I hit the best were low ones that never seemed to go higher than about ten feet off the ground. They usually went straight, and would roll a long ways. Dave said I was hooking the ball, and said it was easier to cure a natural hook than a natural slice. He got me to spread my stance a little bit, and to move my feet a little forward of the ball. There were so many different things that he was telling me that I got confused. Finally, seeing that I was getting frustrated, Dave had me hit some mid irons again. After hitting a few, I started calming down. I knew the woods were going to be harder to learn, even Mrs. Parsons sometimes had trouble with hers. After the lesson, we went out and played. For the first time, we played all eighteen holes. I drove the cart like usual, and we played from the lady's tees. I shot a hundred and eleven. Mrs. Parsons said that score would probably beat Mr. Chalmers. I didn't try to hit any of my woods when we played. I thought I'd wait until I had better control with them before I started using them. After we played, we got some lunch. This time Mrs. Parson's ordered me a Club Sandwich, French fries, and a soda. She said I needed to experience something else besides cheeseburgers. "Kenny, Mr. Parsons will be coming home this week end. You are to try to keep out of his way, and Bunny will tell him to keep away from you too. Bunny told me what you said to him about him being at fault for not supporting my decision to divorce Thomas. I wanted you to know that that wasn't the cause of my withdrawal. It is an affliction that I have. It isn't something that anyone causes me to have. Bunny is very sensitive about this. When it started affecting me when I turned thirteen, Bunny felt guilty that he didn't have the same thing. Twins are often like that." "You two are twins?" I must have sounded pretty surprised about that, and she laughed at me. "Fraternal twins, not identical. We come from separate eggs, hence the physical dissimilarities. Most people who didn't know us as children find it difficult to believe we are twins. But, being twins, we are much closer than normal siblings. What you observed last night was similar to the kinds of things one sees with twins, things that seldom occur with normal siblings. It was a game thing we used to play when we tried keeping secrets from our parents." "You are both the same age?" "Bunny is twenty three minutes older, and he's never let me forget it either. We may appear different to you, Kenny, but in most things, it's like we share a single mind. Bunny is able to put aside personal feelings when it comes to certain other claims on his loyalty, but I've never been able to do that. This should in no way lower the esteem you might hold him in. He suffers as much as I do, with the decisions he has been forced to make. That he makes them in spite of this, is a credit to his noble character." "I think he cares too much about money." "That is both unkind and untrue. Bunny already has all of the money he could ever have any need for. He feels an obligation to take care of Daddy's company, and the people who work there. If it weren't for that, he would help me with Thomas. He has promised to make that his first priority when that merger business is concluded." "I just hope that you will be okay until then. At least now you know he's on your side." "Kenny, I never doubted that, not even for one second. I knew I could always depend on my Bunny. Still, it was nice that he came to reassure me of that. A person can always use reassurance." The next morning, after my lesson, we played nine holes and I scored a forty eight. I made my first par with a long putt on the seventh hole. To celebrate, Mrs. Parsons let me order for the two of us in the clubhouse restaurant. I surprised her by ordering both of us the same salad she had ordered before. I also got myself a side order of French fries. That night, well after midnight, Bea came into my room again. This time she had me suck her while she sucked me. It was more like licking, although I did suck on her clitty, that little knob thing she had up on top of her pussy. She let me do it to her after that. It was while we were both lying on our sides, with me behind her. We rested after, and then she had me get on top of her, and do it that way. She called my dick a Willy. She said she had heard over fifty different names for it, but then she said she had forgotten most of them. She stayed in my room until after four o'clock, and this time we used a towel to catch all the juices in. I took the towel into the shower with me, and washed it while I washed myself. I probably only got three or four hours of sleep that night. I was worried that Dave or Mrs. Parsons would notice how tired I was, but they didn't say anything, and after the lesson was over, we played eighteen holes again. I shot a fifty one on the front and a fifty on the back for a score of one hundred one. There were several putts that I missed, ones that would have allowed me to break one hundred, if I'd only made two of them. I had used my woods on three long holes, all of them with wide fairways. One of them had gone more than two hundred yards, straight down the middle. We both ordered cheeseburgers and fries to celebrate. We stopped off in the pro shop so that Mrs. Parsons could tell Dave my score. I was proud that she was proud of me, that she wanted to tell someone how well I'd done. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 5 That Friday night, a little after seven, Mr. Parsons came back home. Even though Mr. Chalmers and Mrs. Parsons had both assured me that Mr. Parsons was going to leave me alone, and, I'd been told to stay out of his way, right after dinner he asked me to join him in his study. I'd never been in this room before, since it was reserved only for Mr. Parsons. I was a little nervous when he led me into the study. It was a smallish room, maybe fifteen feet by fifteen feet, and one whole wall was covered with books and notebooks in a dark brown wooden bookcase. The wall behind his desk was filled with pictures. All of the pictures had Mr. Parsons in them, usually with one, two, or even more other people in them as well. I saw one picture with Mr. Chalmers, Mr. Parsons and another, older man who looked a lot like a slightly older version of Mr. Chalmers, the way he looked now. Mr. Chalmers and Mr. Parsons looked about twenty years old in that picture. Mr. Parsons went over and sat behind his desk. He motioned for me to sit in the chair in front of the desk. "Look, Benny, I guess you and I got off to a bad beginning. I thought we should have a talk, and clear the air between us." "My name is Kenny, not Benny." "Really? I could have sworn it was Benny. In any case, Kenny, I wanted to try to clear things up, and to try to start all over with you if I may. I know that Bertie and Bunny have already discussed my new living situation, as well as what has been agreed on between the three of us. We all stand to benefit a great deal, financially, if and when the merger is completed. That merger is the single most important consideration for each of us at the moment. This means that we're all prepared to make sacrifices, and to tolerate situations that we normally wouldn't dream of. "I've given my word to Bunny that I would find a way for you and I to co-exist together, for the good of everyone. I don't see us becoming friends, or anything more than bare acquaintances, but I'm certainly willing to try to see if the two of us can manage to get along together. It's in everyone's best interest that you feel the same way." "Mr. Chalmers told me about the merger, and how important you are to making it work out. I already told him that I'd try not to do anything to make you mad at me again." "That's good, Kenny. I've got my plate full already, what with all of the details that will need attending to. I'll be in residence here Friday evenings until early Monday mornings. The rest of the time, I'll be working and spending my time in the city, or off on business trips for the company. I see little reason why we both can't be civil during those times when I'm here. Bunny tells me that you are becoming an avid golfer, and that your interest has spurred Bertie's own enthusiasm again. I'm glad. Golf was always a game she excelled at, and it gets her out in the open air. She needs an interest to keep her from always dwelling on her infirmities. In spite of what you've witnessed between Bertie and me, I remain fond of her, and continue to wish her well. In fact, it was only after Bunny told me about you and Bertie golfing together that I was able to grasp your positive potential in living here with us." "She's a nice lady, and a very good golfer too." "She is all of that, and more besides. If she would only choose to exercise better control over her spoiled self indulgences, she would make a fine marriage partner. I have little tolerance for people who refuse to practice the same self discipline they would demand in others. But, enough of that. This talk is about the two of us, and about whether or not we can agree to put aside our personal differences for everyone's mutual benefit. Speaking for myself, I know that I can." He stood back up then, and came around the side of his desk. He offered me his hand to shake. I stood up and put my hand out also. "Thank you, Mr. Parsons. I've been worried, ever since Mrs. Parsons said you were coming back." He gave my hand too much of a squeeze. I had to wince, and I made a noise, because I hadn't been expecting that. He released my hand quickly, pretending that it had been an accident, and that he didn't know his own strength. He even apologized, but we both understood that the hand shake was his real message to me. I guessed that Mr. Chalmers had put him up to having that talk with me. I told him not to worry about hurting my hand. I knew that what I'd just learned was worth more than the little bit of pain he'd given me. Later that night, after everyone was in bed, I heard Mr. Parsons yelling at Mrs. Parsons again. I couldn't sleep until after there was quiet coming from their room. I knew that I'd have to stop seeing Bea while Mr. Parsons was staying at the house. I didn't have to stop thinking about her though, so I did think, and I played with myself while I thought about her. I started wishing the weekend would be over, just so life around there could get back to normal again. There was a different atmosphere in the whole house when Mr. Parsons was home. I didn't think anybody liked him. Only Mr. Chalmers had anything nice to say about him. Bea had told me that I already did sex better than Mr. Parsons did. I wondered if he did sex with Mrs. Parsons now. I guessed, since they were married, they had to. That made me feel bad for Mrs. Parsons. From what she had already said, it wouldn't be her choice to do that. Saturday, all of us had breakfast together. This is when I found out that Mr. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers were going to play a golf game against Mrs. Parsons and me. At the breakfast table, Mr. Parsons was telling Bunny and Bertie that I would have to tee it up from the men's tee, not from the lady's tee that I was used to. It took several minutes for him to do it, but he finally got them both to agree to that. It looked to me like Mr. Parsons was the strongest one there. He seemed to wear the other two down. I didn't mind teeing off with the men. I already knew I wasn't going to hit it as far as they did. I also knew that Mrs. Parsons and I were probably going to win. I had already seen Bunny play, and I knew I could probably keep up with him. Mrs. Parsons had said she could play better than Mr. Parsons, and she also said he didn't like her beating him. When we got to the golf course, Mr. Parsons insisted that he and I share a golf cart. He said he wanted to get to know me better. I saw that Mrs. Parsons looked relieved that she wouldn't have to be in the same cart with him. I didn't try to get out of it. Two men came out with all of our golf clubs, except for Mr. Chalmers, because he had once again brought his clubs with him. At the first tee, Mr. Parsons insisted that he wanted the bet to be something other than money. He said that was so I would have something at stake, in case I lost. It was finally agreed that the losers had to wash all of the cars. They decided that my car was going to be the limousine that Hans had driven us to Springfield in. Winners got to sit in lawn chairs, drinking lemonade, and watching the losers work. Mrs. Parson's explained that we were playing stroke play, and that her score and mine would be added together, and Bunny's and Mr. Parsons would be added together. Whichever team had the smaller total was the winner. On the front nine, I shot a fifty four. I was nervous, and hit a ball out of bounds on the fourth hole, and took three strokes to get out of a bunker on the eighth. It was a deep green side bunker, and my ball was buried in the lip at the top of it. Bunny shot a fifty four also. Mr. Parsons had a forty one, mostly because he hit his tee shots and his approach shots really well. His putting wasn't very good. Mrs. Parsons shot a forty, four over par. We were ahead by one shot with nine more holes to play. On the back nine, our side gained one shot on the tenth and another on the eleventh, to stretch our lead to three shots. Mr. Parsons hit a long iron second shot from the fairway on the par five twelfth hole. The ball bounced twice in front of the green, and then rolled on up to about twelve feet from the cup. For the first time in person, I was going to see someone actually putting for an eagle. His drive had been about fifty yards out in front of the rest of us. Mrs. Parsons had sliced her tee shot into the rough, and then had to try to advance her ball between two tall trees. She almost made it, but the ball hit a branch at the last second, and dropped almost straight down. She wasn't going to be able to get on in less than four from where her ball came to rest. Mr. Chalmers second shot was a low roller, what he called a worm killer, but it rolled for a really long ways. My second shot wasn't very good either, and my third one wasn't even close to the green. Mr. Chalmers hit his third shot up onto the fringe of the green and had about forty feet to the hole. I managed to get on in four, but I then three putted from about thirty five feet for a double bogey. Mrs. Parsons hit a good third shot, but her fourth shot went long, so she had to chip on, and then two putted for a double bogey. Mr. Chalmers was able to two putt from the fringe, with a very nice first putt, and he made a rare par. Of course, Mr. Parsons had to go and make his eagle putt, and we went from being up by three shots, to being down by three. Mr. Parsons had been pretty quiet, right up until he made his eagle. After the twelfth hole though, he suddenly turned sociable. He even said something nice to me after I hit my tee shot on the thirteenth. I could see that he liked being ahead a lot more than being behind. He was a very competitive person. After he got in a good mood, he even started to play better. He sank two long putts, one on the sixteenth, and one on the eighteenth, to close out any possible chance we might have had to beat him. His total score was seventy nine. Mrs. Parsons made an eighty one, a bad score for her. I shot a fifty two on the back nine for a one hundred and six. Surprisingly, Bunny too had scored well on the back nine, with two pars and four bogeys. He also had one double and two triple bogeys, for a score of forty eight on the back nine. His total of one hundred and two beat me by four strokes. We all had lunch at the country club, and Mr. Parsons was having such a good time after winning, that he actually seemed like he was turning into a nice guy. He told all of us some really funny stories, about things he'd seen or done while golfing. Even Mrs. Parsons laughed when he told us about the time he and Bunny had both hit the same golfer during one round of golf. When we got back to the house, Mrs. Parsons and I washed the four cars together. I didn't mind washing them at all. They weren't really dirty, not like some pans I'd had to clean for Marie, or the bathroom shower floor at the orphanage, after thirty boys had showered in it. It took us a couple of hours, and Mr. Parsons had sent for a large pitcher of lemonade for the four of us, and we had finished all of it before we finished up with the limousine, the last of the four cars we had to wash. We had all had a good time playing golf together. Probably only because Mr. Parsons had been on the winning team. Still, it had been a lot better than I'd feared it might be. Sunday afternoon, Mrs. Parsons and her husband went out to a wedding together, one that was held over close to Bolling. They came back at about nine o'clock, and then Mr. Parsons informed all of us that he really had to leave early, because he hadn't had a chance to look at any of the work he'd brought home with him on Friday. What happened next really surprised me. "Thomas, can't you let it go for just one more night?" Mrs. Parsons asked him that in a way that made it seem like she really wanted him to stay. Even Bea looked up at her in surprise after she said that. Gerta was just coming into the living room to see if anyone wanted something for a snack when Mrs. Parsons asked that question, and she too paused to stare at her employer. "Are you sure, Bertie? I'll be happy to stay if that's what you want." She nodded to him, a shy smile on her face. She turned away and began walking over to the staircase. I saw her reach up and remove both of her earrings, and place them in the tiny purse she was carrying. She climbed the stairs, pausing to turn at the top, looking back at Mr. Parsons. After that, she continued on, going into her suite. I heard Mr. Parsons asking Gerta to make him a highball before he too retired for the evening. I got up from where I'd been sitting and told everyone good night. I wanted to go up to my room and try to figure out what had just happened in the living room. To me, it had seemed like Mrs. Parsons had just told Mr. Parsons that she still wanted to stay married to him. I couldn't begin to imagine why she would have done that. From the looks on everyone else's faces, including Mr. Parsons, I wasn't the only one who thought that way. I woke up at two thirty, Bea had taken me in her mouth and I was squirting out my semen. She only spent about half an hour with me, but we both had a real good time. I didn't even bother getting up and showering when she slipped out of my room. I was back sleeping, less than five minutes after she left the room. When I woke up, it was already after eight. I showered and dressed, getting downstairs for some breakfast barely in time to eat something before heading off for my golf lesson. Mr. Parsons had already left, and Mrs. Parsons was sitting at the dining room table, dressed only in a robe and slippers, sipping at a cup of coffee. "Kenny, would you mind terribly if I stayed home this morning? I promised Thomas that I'd try to find some papers that he seems to be missing. He told me he might need them for the merger, and neither of us knows where they might have gotten off to. If I find them early enough, I'll call out to the club and tell them to let you know I'm coming out there. We can play at least nine holes together if I do." I told her that would be fine, and, after my lesson, I hit a big bucket of balls while Hans waited for me, but she didn't call me. When I returned to the house, she was up in her room again with the door locked. She stayed in her room for three days before finally coming out to eat and drink something. She went right back to her room then, and stayed for another day and night. On Friday, she came down in the morning and we went off to the golf course as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. We played eighteen holes together, and she shot a seventy one. I broke one hundred for the first time, shooting a ninety seven. I shot a forty six on the front and a fifty one on the back. I had two birdie putts on the front, but missed them both, making pars on both of them. Mrs. Parsons made a big production out of me breaking a hundred, but I was amazed to see someone shoot one under par for a round of golf. She could have been three under too, if she had made two more putts for birdie from less than ten feet away. She really hit the ball well for the entire round. We were enjoying a nice lunch in the clubhouse, with her ordering me the steak sandwich, and a small piece of poached salmon for her. "That was incredible, watching you play so well. I don't think I'll ever shoot a round as good as that one was." "Thank you, Kenny. It was a good round, especially since I hadn't been scoring that well since I began playing again. Today I felt like I was in control of almost every shot." "Is that the best you've ever played?" "No, I've scored better, but I'm still satisfied with my effort today." "How much better?" "I scored sixty two on this course twelve years ago. It might still be the course record from the lady's tees." "Sixty two? You scored ten under par on one round? "That was a day when everything dropped in for me. I remember I holed out from a hundred forty yards on the sixteenth that day for my second eagle. I had eight birdies, two eagles and two bogeys. I bogeyed the first and the fifteenth." "Is it all right if I change the subject? There's something I want to ask you, something personal." "Is it about my marriage?" "Yes." "I know what you are going to ask me. I can't give you a reason why I did that. I suppose it had something to do with our being at a wedding, and seeing the love and the hope on the bride and groom's faces. We've been married for a long time. There are times when, I still find myself clinging to hope. A failed marriage is always a large failure, for both of the partners. Part of it is knowing that I'll never have another opportunity if I do fail with this marriage. I always get so optimistic at weddings, but, as you saw, even with my best intentions, I wasn't able to avoid getting melancholy again. If I didn't always have these set backs, Thomas wouldn't treat me like he does." "You still have a lot of good days, days where you can enjoy yourself and have fun with people. Can't he just come stay with you on those days?" "Thomas has little use for weakness. To him, perfection isn't an ideal. It's something that we should all routinely strive for. Sometimes, I forget that reality, especially when I'm near him, and he is in one of his charming moods." "Are you still going to divorce him when the merger is done?" "When the merger is done, he'll have no further need or use for me. I will have served the purpose that he married me for. With the merger, and his new contract, Thomas will have finally wrested control of the business completely out of our family's hands." "Is that all he wanted?" "I hope not, and on my best days, I doubt that it was. However, there have been many times when something he said in anger, or something I feared or worried about, has led me to believe that was always his sole reason for marrying me. Bunny arranged it you know? He arranged it from start to finish. He said that love would come for both of us. I fear he was only half right." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 6 Mr. Parsons came back home that Friday night. I saw him mostly at dinner time, because he was in his study most of the rest of the time. On Saturday, Mrs. Parsons and I went to the country club and played eighteen holes. I had a hundred and seven, but she shot a seventy three. We didn't stay at the club for lunch because we were going to have an early dinner with company coming over. I went into the kitchen when we returned, and Gerta took pity on me, making me a nice sandwich. We were going to have five guests for dinner, although one of them was Mr. Chalmers. The other guests were a friend of Mr. Chalmers, and his family. Mr. Connor was also a friend of Mr. Parsons, and he was a business associate as well. It was the family part that was the reason for the dinner invitation. Mr. Connor had a son, Richard, who was fifteen, and he was also going into the tenth grade in the same school I would be going to. His sister, Brenda, was fourteen years old, and she was going into ninth grade at the junior high. Mr. Chalmers wanted me to meet Richard, mostly so I'd already know someone when school started up in September. The problem was that Richard and I took an instant dislike to each other. He was a little taller than I was, maybe an inch, but he weighed about thirty or forty pounds more than I did. All he could talk about was football and all the girlfriends he was going to have because he was a football player. He didn't play golf, and said it was a sissy sport. He also asked me if Mrs. Parsons was crazy. He said he'd heard his mother and father talking about that before they drove over that day. I got mad at him, but I tried not to let it show. Richard had one more very annoying habit, that was the way he looked at and talked about Bea. I listened to him talking about what he would want to do with her until I just couldn't listen to it any longer. "Your mother looks good from behind. Does she always walk that way, or just when she wears high heels?" That is when we started fighting. He got me down before we had a chance to throw any punches, but Hans and Mr. Connor got to us, breaking it up before we could do any damage to each other. As soon as we were separated, Mr. Connor asked Richard why we had started fighting. "He said something bad about mom." Mr. Connor looked over at me. His expression made it clear that he wanted me to repeat what I'd said. "I said she looked nice, and asked if she walked like that when she wore high heels." Mr. Connor laughed. "What's wrong with that, Dick? He was paying your mother a compliment. What did you think he meant by it?" "I think he thought I meant the same sort of thing as he did when he talked about what he wanted to do to Bea." At the orphanage, I'd learned that the best way to keep from being punished was to just tell the truth. I also learned that there were more effective ways to present the truth if you wanted the heat taken off of you. Richard looked at me like he wanted to slit my throat. "Were you speaking or behaving insultingly towards Beatrice, Dick? You know that we've had this kind of discussion in the past. I think I remember telling you what would happen if I received any further complaints? I want you to apologize to Kenny, and then I want you to go apologize to Beatrice as well." "She didn't hear what I said, but when he said mom looked good from behind, he meant her ass!" "You'll do what I told you, young man, and you better get to it right now. Apologize to Kenny, Dick." Richard looked at me, hate was evident in his eyes. "Sorry." "I forgive you, Dick." The way I emphasized dick made it obvious that I wasn't referring to his name. When Dick went off to find Bea to apologize to her, Mr. Connor remained with me. Hans went back to the kitchen to help Gerta. "That wasn't very nice or gentlemanly of you Kenny, insulting Mrs. Connor that way." "I was only trying to make him quit talking about Bea that way. I'm sorry if I made you angry. I know I shouldn't have said that about Mrs. Connor." "No, you shouldn't. It was the truth though, she does look nice from behind, especially when she walks in heels. It is gentlemanly to observe and say nothing. To comment on something such as that brings you down to Richard's level. You should aspire to be better than that." He turned away from me and walked back out to where everyone else was gathered in the living room. I felt like going back up to my bedroom and hiding out like Mrs. Parsons sometimes liked to do. Instead, I went out to the kitchen. Hans was talking to Gerta, and they were both laughing together until I came into the kitchen. Seeing me, they both got quiet. I knew he was telling her about the trouble I'd gotten into. I went out the back door from the kitchen after Gerta told me it would be another thirty minutes before dinner was served. I wanted to be all alone and try to keep out of getting into more trouble. "What did you do to make my pinhead brother get so upset?" I turned around and noticed Brenda for the first time. She was sitting over on one of the lawn chairs along the side of the house. She was built a lot less husky than her brother. She had small breasts, and seemed somehow to be delicate and healthy at the same time. Her hair was almost a copper color, curly and not very long. when I first saw her, I had thought about Little Orphan Annie. I guess it was her hair color and the fact that her face wasn't like any other I'd ever noticed. She wasn't pretty, at least not pretty like the women on the television, but, I liked the way her face looked. She was only about five feet three, so I was a lot taller than her. "He made me mad, so I said something I shouldn't have." "He always does that. Mother says he has an inferiority complex, and that's why he acts like such a drip all the time. My parents are going to be unhappy with Richard. He was supposed to become your friend. My parents wanted to suck up to your family so they would keep sending us their business. My father's company gets almost all of our business from your company." "It isn't my company, I'm just staying here for awhile. I'm an orphan, but they kicked me out of my orphanage, so I got to come here." "I know that, because Mr. Chalmers told my dad and my dad told it to my mother at the dinner table. My dad says you are a lucky bastard, for falling into shit, and then coming up in a bed of roses. That's the way he talks when he's at home, and Richard talks the same way." "What about you? Are you like that too?" "I hope I'm more like my mother. I think she's nice, and she doesn't like to talk bad about other people. She said that all of the people at the country club are happy to see Mrs. Parsons feeling better, and coming out to the club more." "Do you play golf? Richard said golf was a sport for sissies." "No, I play tennis though, and he says the same about it. Do you play tennis?" "No, we never had tennis at the orphanage. We didn't have golf either, but I'm learning how to play that. Where do you play tennis?" "At the country club. There are six courts, two grass and four hardcourts. You should take up the game. We could use more young guys for the mixed doubles. Last week I had to partner with Mr. Glenrose, and he's almost eighty years old. We lost in the first round, and then I had to sit around and watch everyone else play." "Are you a good player?" "I'm all right in singles, but I can't find another girl to play doubles with. There aren't too many singles events around here. Next year, I'm going to try out for the high school team, but I don't know if I'll be good enough to make it." "I wouldn't mind learning how to play, but when do you play? I've got golf lessons from ten thirty to eleven thirty, and then I usually play a round with Mrs. Parsons." Brenda started laughing, and I wondered what she thought was so funny." "You play around with Mrs. Parsons? Isn't she a little old for you?" "That's what you think. I've never even come close to beating her. She shot a 62 on the course. It might still be the course record." I had finished talking before I figured out what she had meant. I started blushing then. She was making fun of me. She had seemed pretty nice up until then. "I'm sorry, Kenny. That was just a joke. Don't be mad. I knew what you meant, but I thought it still sounded funny." "That wasn't funny. She's been nice to me, and she treats me like her son. It isn't nice to poke fun at people." "You're right, it isn't. I was laughing at your choice of words, not at her. Still, I apologize. I usually practice in the afternoons, usually after four, when it begins to cool down some. Tennis is a more active game than golf is. You sweat. I'll be there tomorrow after four. You can come by and we can hit around. I can teach you some of the basics, and you can see if you like it or not." "I don't have a tennis racket, or any balls." She laughed at me again, but at least she didn't say anything. I knew what I'd said, and what she was thinking. "Tennis balls." "Of course. Can I expect you tomorrow?" "I'll have to talk to Mrs. Parsons first. How would I get back home?" "My mother usually comes to pick me up. I'm sure she'd be willing to give you a ride back here. We'll ask her." That was the beginning of my friendship with Brenda Connor, and the beginning of my lack of friendship with Richard, the dick. Over the next three years, many changes occurred in this friendship, and also with the way Richard and I learned to act around each other. It all started that Saturday though. Later, sitting at the dinner table, I noticed that Bea wasn't joining us for dinner. I was sitting in my usual place, to the right of Mrs. Parsons. Mr. Chalmers and Mr. Connor were sitting across from each other, next to the head of the table where Mr. Parsons sat. Across from me was Mrs. Connor, and Richard sat to her left. Brenda sat next to me. I knew that there had been a hasty change in place settings because I was supposed to have Richard sitting on my right. I liked it a lot better this way, as did Richard. I wasn't sure whether or not Brenda was happy with the switch. We had been eating for about fifteen minutes, and the three men were discussing business things. Mrs. Connor was discussing a play that she had recently seen. Mainly her conversation was meant for Mrs. Parsons. Richard spent most of his attention on wrestling with the steak on his plate. Brenda and I kept silent. Mrs. Connor had finished telling Mrs. Parsons about her play, and then she turned her attention to me. "I hear you've become quite the golfer, Kenny. We tried to get Richard enthused, but he seems to prefer football, and the other, earthier, endeavors to playing gentleman's games. Do you enjoy playing?" "Yes, ma'am. It's a lot of fun, and hard too." "Do you play tennis as well? Brenda's quite interested in the game, aren't you dear?" "Yes. I was talking to Kenny about tennis at the club, and he said he might like to come out and see if it suits him. He wondered how he'd get back here after though." "I'm sure it wouldn't be any trouble for Hans to pick him up afterwards, Brenda. I think it would be lovely if Kenny had an opportunity to meet some of the young people at the club, the ones from the better families. Do you want me to arrange that with Hans, Kenny?" Mrs. Parsons sounded a little strange when she was talking about the better families. As far as I remembered, she had never made any mention of who she might consider being better to me. I knew I didn't qualify as being someone from a better family. As far as I knew, I didn't really have any family. She had always treated other people well, so it kind of surprised me when she said it that way. "I don't know what time we'd be finished. Brenda mentioned that Mrs. Connor could drive me back rather than have Hans waiting for me. The tennis doesn't start until four, so I could have my lesson and we could play eighteen and have lunch and still make it to tennis before four. We can still play golf, right?" "Of course, dear. I hoped you would want to continue playing. I find it so enjoyable to have someone to play with." Brenda sounded like she was choking on the piece of bread she was eating, and I know my ears turned red. I didn't have much experience with girls, and none at all with younger girls. "Which days do you play, Brenda?" "During the summer, I go out every day. Richard and I go to swim in the pool, before and right after lunch, and then I get ready for tennis at around three thirty. Richard remains at the pool, ogling the women in their swim suits." "Brenda, stop teasing your brother. I'm sure he does no such thing. Richard is using swimming to stay in peak condition for football in the fall. If he fails to make the team, I don't know what we'll have to do with him. He is so single minded at times." "I'll make the team, don't worry about that. Coach Terrell knows me from all the junior leagues. He knows how hard I work. He pretty much told me that I'd have a place if I come out." "That's right. He's a chip off the old block when it comes to football. I'm expecting great things from him out on the football field. I just wish I could say the same thing for his school grades." Richard liked the first part of what his father said, but made a face at the last part. Mr. Chalmers spoke up then, telling everyone at the table that he was sure that I'd excel in the academic portion of school. That was when Mr. Parsons spoke up too. "Kenny, can we look forward to your trying out for the team as well? Sports are a healthy outlet for a young man's aggressions. Football is one of the best for that. I boxed in college. Ask Bunny what my record was." "He only lost three times in four years, He was conference champion in our junior year. He should have won it again as a senior, and would have except for an unfortunate accidental head butt in the semi's." "There was nothing accidental about it. It was deliberate. I don't know why you refuse to admit that I'm right about that." "I've known Jack Dunbar for my entire life, Tommy, he would never do something underhanded like that. I asked him after the fight and he swore that your head collided with his. He wouldn't lie. Also, if you remember, he withdrew from the competition after the decision went his way, because he suffered a cut as well." "Perhaps it was his guilty conscience. He knew who the better man was, they all did." Mr. Parsons had made himself angry remembering something that had happened more than twenty years before. I noticed Mr. Connor shaking his head in agreement with Mr. Parsons. I wondered if he too had been there to witness the head butt. Bunny just looked at Mr. Parsons, but he refrained from adding any more fuel to the fire. Brenda brought the conversation back to the subject of my playing tennis the following day. Mrs. Parsons and I didn't play on Sundays. In fact, she and Mr. Parsons had already announced that they had a social commitment the next day. "How would you get there, Kenny? I'm afraid Hans will be tied up with us all day." "My mother could come get him, and he could swim with us and eat lunch at the club. We'd make a whole day of it. There are a lot of kids that go, or will be going, to the high school that use the pool at the club. Richard and I can introduce him to people." Finally, everyone agreed that Mrs. Connor would stop off and take me out to the club with Brenda and Richard at eleven o'clock the next day, and drop me off at around seven that evening. Mrs. Parsons had already arranged for me to be able to sign for food and for other purchases, so I didn't need any money. Mr. Parsons surprised me by giving me a twenty dollar bill, and telling me to enjoy myself with my new friends. I was ready by ten thirty the next morning. I had a new bathing suit, and I also had white shorts and tennis shoes for the tennis we'd be playing. Mr. Parsons had loaned me two of his racquets the night before, telling me that speed and athleticism was the key to tennis. I just hoped that I wouldn't embarrass myself. I needn't have worried. Brenda turned her ankle while she was running around chasing a ball down that someone hit on the court we were waiting for. We sat in the bleachers afterwards and waited for her mother to come get her. Earlier, at the pool, Richard and I had a few words, but it didn't come down to any punches being thrown. He was doing his best to make me look bad in front of some of his friends from school. I think he believed he was being funny, but it came out like he was being a bully. It didn't take too long for me to see that a lot of the people only tolerated Richard. It didn't seem to me that many of them were really friends of his. The opposite was true of Brenda. It seemed that almost everyone liked her. She looked nice in her bathing suit too. I saw a lot of the guys sneaking looks at her while she sat on the side of the pool with her legs hanging over in the water. There were three or four other girls who were as good looking as Brenda, but none of them seemed as friendly, or as nice, as she seemed to me. One of these girls, named Claudia, reminded me a little bit of Bea because of the things she said. She was always coming over where the boys were, and letting them say things, and touch her where they weren't supposed to. She would scream loud, moving away from them, telling them to quit it, but she always seemed to come right back to a place where they would touch her again. Richard was one of the boys who paid her the most attention. I saw her in the pool with him later, over at one of the corners in the deep end. She had her back against the side of the pool, and Richard had one hand on the side of the pool, and the other one under the water. He was close to her, and facing her. I noticed that she wasn't saying anything to him, but she was looking all around, trying to see if anyone was watching them. I was sitting on one of those lounge chairs with Brenda sitting on the one next to me. We were talking, and I was watching Claudia over Brenda's shoulder. Brenda interrupted me while I was watching to see what they would do next. "Do you think Claudia's pretty? A lot of boys seem to." "I don't know. I was watching more to see what she was letting Richard do." "Since it's still light out, probably not that much. Claudia seems to prefer the dark. Half the boys in the pool have been with her. She has no self respect. Of course, Richard thinks the world of her. To him, she's the perfect girl." "You don't like her?" "We used to be better friends, until she got boy crazy and started acting like she does now. It is hard to be friends with someone who doesn't care about herself. Claudia used to be really nice too, until she got this obsession with boys that she has right now. She can't seem to resist giving in to it either. I keep hoping that she'll outgrow it, but even if she does grow out of it, she's done too much to ever get her reputation back. A few months ago, she wouldn't have given Richard the time of day. She always said he was a real pig. Now, just look at her in the pool with him. At first, she only liked a few of the nicer boys, but lately, she's stopped being choosy about who she lets touch her. All she cares about is that someone is touching her." "She kind of reminds me of someone else I know." "Beatrice?" "No, why do you say that?" "My father told us about her. He doesn't think Mr. Chalmers should have brought her to live with the Parsons. He said she is a tramp." "Bea's a nice woman. She helps Mrs. Parsons and she doesn't do anything bad to anyone." "My dad said she also helps Mr. Parsons. He said that she's his girlfriend." "Well, he's wrong. Bea lives with us, and Mr. Parsons is only there on the weekends. Bea sleeps downstairs in the maid's room. I don't think your father knows what he's talking about." "Maybe. Don't say anything to anyone, or say that I talked to you about what he said. My father doesn't want to get in trouble with any of them." "He has a funny way of talking about people, especially if he doesn't want to get in trouble with them." I had started watching Richard again, and I was pretty sure that he now had his hand between Claudia's legs. She had stopped looking all around, and now had her eyes closed. One of her hands was in the water too now. I wondered if she was playing with Richard's prick. I could see that Brenda knew what I was doing. She made a snorting sound at me, and then got up and left. I turned away from Richard and Claudia, deciding that I was hungry. I left the pool area, walking over to the little snack bar over by the pro shop. I ordered a hot dog and a Coke. Rather than sign for it, I paid with Mr. Parson's twenty dollar bill. I went over to one of the tables where golfer's normally sat while they had a quick snack, usually after playing nine holes. I sat there by myself, watching people practicing on the putting green, while I ate my lunch. I decided not to go back to the pool, and asked someone where the tennis courts were. After I got directions, I went into the men's locker room and changed into my shorts and a light collared shirt. It was the first time wearing the tennis shoes, and they seemed a little stiff on my feet. I think it was because the socks I was wearing were thicker than the ones I was wearing when I'd tried the shoes on. I was sitting in the bleachers, watching two older couples playing doubles when Brenda came over and sat down beside me. "Are you still mad at me, Kenny?" "I'm not mad at you. If I'm mad at anyone, I'm mad at your father and that stupid brother of yours." "You're still mad about what he said earlier?" "No, I'm mad because he was using Claudia in the pool like that. I think he did it just to prove to his friends what a big man he is." "No, you're wrong about that. Richard isn't bright enough to come up with a plan as sophisticated as that. He did it because he could. I guarantee you that he wasn't thinking about what you think he was." "He was feeling her up right out in public." "She was letting him. In fact, when I last looked at them, she was doing the same thing to him." "So, Richard wasn't doing anything wrong in your opinion?" "Oh no. Don't try to get me to say that. He was wrong, but so was she. He was doing to her what she wanted, what she always wants. I doubt that she even cares anymore, who she does it with, or where they're doing it. She is as much to blame as he is." "You know them both a lot better than I do." "You could have her if you want her. You don't have to be jealous of Richard." "Is that what you think, that I'm jealous?" "I think you are like most boys, and you want the same thing Richard does." "I guess you're right, but not with Claudia, and not out in public for others to watch. I may not come from a better family, but I already know I wouldn't want to behave like the two of them are." "Mrs. Parsons didn't mean you when she said that at the dinner table yesterday. She meant us, all of our family. My father was very poor, a lot like Mr. Parsons was. They both married women from good families. My mother's family lost all their money. To Mrs. Parsons, children from such a marriage are less than ones where both parents come from the 'better families'. You should have heard the things my mother said to daddy on the drive back home." "I never heard her say something like that before." "I think she was letting my mother know that you are too good for me. That's what my mother thinks too. Do you think you're too good for me?" "No, I think all of you are too good for me. Of all the people I know around here, I feel closest to Bea, Gerta and Hans. Even they are probably better off than me when it comes to their families. I don't know anything at all about my real family." "Daddy thinks you might be Mr. Chalmers love child, and that he finally went to get you because he couldn't stand the guilt any longer. If you are his bastard child, you must take totally after your mother in your looks." "Your father is starting to worry me. None of our secrets are safe around him. I'm surprised that he doesn't guess about Hans and Gerta being German spies sent here to steal all the company's recipes." "Don't get me started on all his fears about what foreigners are up to here in America. My father voted for Barry Goldwater. He still thinks Senator McCarthy was a great American. Do you still believe I'm too good for you, now that I admitted that about my father?" "No, if all that's true, maybe Mrs. Parsons was right." She slapped me on my arm, lightly, playfully. When I didn't react, she left her hand resting on my arm. Suddenly, she got real interested in watching the tennis match in front of us, and so did I. Both of us felt the contact that we were making. I kept my arm folded in my lap, trying to disguise the effect her touching me was having. She had changed out of her suit before coming to find me. She was now wearing a white shirt and a white tennis skirt. I noticed her nipples were erect under her white bra. I hoped that she was as interested in what I was trying to hide as I was in looking at her nipples. I thought about having Brenda sneak up to my bedroom some night instead of Bea. Even as I thought it, I felt guilty, as if I was betraying both of them with that single thought. "I think I'm going to like you, Kenny, but not the same way Claudia likes boys." Brenda was staring straight ahead at the tennis match when she whispered that sentence to me. I looked at her, making sure that her nipples were still sticking way out. When I saw they were, I took my arm out of my lap. This was the most embarrassing thing I'd ever done with a girl. Bea had told me that hard on's were just one way a girl knew that a boy was interested in her. I looked at the tennis match too, but I also looked at Brenda's face out of the corner of my eye. When I saw the color coming into her face, I knew she had noticed my interest. I waited, worried at first that she'd make a comment to put me in my place. She didn't say anything. After awhile, both of us started to relax. Her hand stayed on my arm the whole time. It was later, during the next match that Brenda turned her ankle trying to retrieve that errant ball. I placed my arm around her waist, helping her limp back over to the bleachers. "I can't believe I did that. I'm such a spazz. I brought you out here today for nothing." "It wasn't for nothing. I met some people at the pool, and I got a chance to get to know you and your whole family better. I like you better than I did before I came here today, and I like your brother even less than I used to. I'm worried about the things your father says and thinks, and I'm wondering if you might take after him too much." "You like me better?" "Sure. I think you're nice. You can't help the rest of your family. Except your mother, she's nice." "That's another thing that Daddy said. Did you really say that about my mom's derriere?" "About how nice it looks when she walks in high heels?" "Yes." "I said it, but it was mostly because I was mad at your brother. He was being a dick about Bea, saying things about what he wanted to do to her." "What about mine?" "Your butt? I don't know, I've never walked behind you." "You did too. Don't lie!" "All right, but if I tell you the truth, you might hit me again. You still want me to tell you?" "Yes, but don't be mean." "I think your butt is gorgeous, not your best feature, but still gorgeous." "Really? What's my best feature?" "You're very easy to talk with. Girls usually scare me because I don't know any. You make it easy for me to talk with you." "That's not a feature. You said feature." "I like the way your nipples stick out when you think about me." I was right, she did hit me, but this time she kept her hand on my leg. She started playing with the hairs on my leg, and my hard on returned. Both of us looked down at it. "What are you thinking about right now?" "I'll tell you, but you have to answer the same question first." "I was thinking about whether you were going to admit why you got hard or not." "I was thinking that you touching me was always going to make me hard." By the time Mrs. Connor came to get us, Brenda and I had made a date to play tennis on Wednesday. In the car, Richard was being difficult. For starters, as soon as his mother drove into the parking lot of the club, he jumped in the back seat. This meant that either Brenda or I needed to sit up front with Brenda's mother. I chose to sit in the back with Richard. As soon as we were all inside the car, Richard complained that Brenda and I had ditched him at the pool and gone off somewhere by ourselves. Brenda replied that he seemed too busy climbing all over Claudia for her to want to bother him. She then told her mother that we were at the tennis courts watching other people playing doubles. Then, she talked about her turned ankle and how it had prevented her from getting in any practice, in addition to keeping her from showing me anything about the game. When the Connor's dropped me off, Bea was waiting for me. Gerta had Sunday afternoons off, and she was off visiting someone. Bea and I were all alone in the house. She let me do it to her from behind while she was bent over the front room window looking out on the circular driveway and the fountain. While we did it, Bea kept talking dirty about what I was doing to her, and kidding me about what I was going to be doing with Brenda Connor soon. We did it twice that way. Bea told me that doing it right in front of the window like that added to her pleasure. I told her about Claudia and Richard, and what they had done in the pool. She liked me telling her about what I suspected, and made me tell her exactly how Claudia had looked having her pussy diddled in the pool with fifty or more people able to see her if they had bothered to look. I'm not sure what time the Parsons returned. It was after ten o'clock though, because that is the time that Bea and I both went to sleep in our separate beds. I had gotten myself a quick rinse in the shower, and dried off before climbing into my bed naked. I had a dream about Bea, Claudia, Brenda and me. In my dream, we were all caught together in bed by Mr. Parsons and Mr. Connor. I woke up with all my covers wrapped around my neck. In my dream, both men had been choking me. I unwrapped the sheet from around my neck, and then covered up with it. I drifted back to sleep and didn't have any other dreams that I remembered. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 7 I started playing tennis with Brenda the next Wednesday afternoon. I came in early for my golf lesson, then I played eighteen holes with Mrs. Parsons, before having a late lunch by myself, and was out on the tennis court before four o'clock. Mrs. Parsons didn't really encourage me to play tennis with Brenda, but she didn't tell me that I couldn't do it either. It was unusual for her to skip lunch with me, but I assumed she had something else she wanted to do. I didn't really care for tennis all that much, although I picked it up fairly fast, and knew right away that I could become a decent enough player, at least for purely recreational purposes. For me, the main attraction of playing tennis was that it would allow me to spend some time with Brenda. It only took me about three minutes of standing on the court with Brenda to learn that she took her tennis seriously. On the court, she didn't participate in any small talk, or any other kind of talk, that wasn't tennis related. The only way to get her attention and approval was to learn how to play better tennis. I applied myself, and made quick improvements. Brenda was saying that we should enter the Saturday mixed doubles tournament together. I told her that I'd consider it, but only after I got proficient enough to not embarrass myself with a bunch of people watching me. I had always had keen eyesight, and good hand and eye coordination. I was also a pretty good observer of other players. I picked up a lot of the correct footwork by watching other, better players, compete. If I'd had a greater interest in the game, I would have gotten considerably better, I believe. Tennis just lacked that special appeal to me that golf had from the very beginning. I tried to explain this to Brenda, likening her interest in tennis, to mine for golf, but she refused to accept my contention that tennis lacked any real appeal for me. To her, if she liked it, everyone should. Strangely, she didn't feel that the reciprocal was true about her liking golf. After we finished that first practice, quitting a little early because Brenda was still a little bothered by her sore ankle, we sat in the bleachers watching other players, and talking about a topic other than tennis. Richard and Claudia had been observed by two of the country club staff in a compromising embrace behind one of the sheds near the large golf cart recharging and storage building. This had happened on Monday, and Mr. and Mrs. Connor had been informed, along with Claudia's parents, sometime Tuesday. Both children had their club privileges suspended for the remainder of the summer. Brenda didn't know what they meant by "a compromising embrace", and no one from the country club would provide anyone, including her parents, with any further description of what had been observed. According to Brenda, Richard insisted they were only making out, but he too, refused to describe exactly what the words "making out" meant to him in this case. Mr. Connor wasn't pressing him too hard to reveal the exact nature of the offense that had been observed. Brenda was very concerned, but mostly because she was afraid that the entire family might lose their country club privileges over the incident. I admitted to not having heard anything about it, and refused Brenda's request for me to see if I could talk with some of the club staff in order to try to learn more about what further action might be taken. I explained to her that I was more of a guest of the Parsons than a real member, and I didn't feel right in trying to do something that would possibly be taking advantage of the situation they had arranged for me. My refusal seemed to upset Brenda, but I held fast with it. By the time Mrs. Connor arrived, Brenda and I were barely speaking. I sat in the front seat with Mrs. Connor for the ride over to my house, answering her questions with short replies of my own. Brenda was barely civil answering her mother's questions, and finally told her she didn't wish to talk about it. It, in this instance, apparently meant everything. I didn't go to any more tennis sessions with Brenda for the rest of that week. I half expected her to phone me or else see me at the club, but I felt that she was the one that had gotten angry at me when I hadn't done anything wrong to her. I didn't mention any of this to Mrs. Parsons, and she didn't ask me any questions. Bea was upset that I'd let Brenda get away. That is how she put it, get away. She asked me a lot of questions, and she too expressed an avid interest and curiosity as to what Claudia and Richard had been caught doing. She asked me to try to find out, but I also refused to do it for her. She told me she wasn't going to be nice to me anymore if I wasn't nice to her. I still refused. When Brenda hadn't contacted me by the following Wednesday, I asked Mrs. Parsons if it would be all right if I went swimming at the club after our round of golf on Thursday. She asked me if I'd be riding home with the Connor's, or if she should send Hans to pick me up. I told her that I'd need Hans, and she smiled and told me that she would send him to pick me up at six thirty so that I'd be home in time for dinner at seven thirty. I thanked her, and that afternoon I shot a ninety four, my best score ever. Dave had been working on my short game, both my chipping and putting. One of the biggest flaws in my game at that point, was from just off the green, and also with my putting. For the three lessons previous to my shooting the ninety four, half of my lesson time was taken up with chipping and sand trap play, and the other half was concentrated on my putting. I learned how to read the slope of the greens, and how to tell if I was putting with or against the grain. Dave showed me a lot of good tricks for eliminating long second putts. I learned how to lag the ball to a point within two or three feet of the hole. Instead of trying to make every putt, I learned to get close enough to make sure my second putt was makable. These lessons transferred immediately into my scoring, and Dave said I'd soon be breaking ninety. On Thursday, I finished my lunch, again eating alone. Mrs. Parsons and I had played the back nine holes, and I'd shot a forty seven. She told me that she needed to get back early in order to see Bunny about some legal papers that needed her signature. After lunch, I changed and went to the pool. Brenda wasn't there, and this disappointed me. There were about ten or twelve kids that I recognized from the last time at the pool, and I nodded to some of them. I didn't know how to swim, which put me at a severe disadvantage in and around a swimming pool. I could get in the pool, but I didn't dare go past the shallow end. I watched other people swimming though, and it didn't look very hard. I was sitting on a lounge chair trying to be casual as I observed a few of the younger girls in their swim suits. There was one girl, a girl I didn't remember seeing at the pool the last time. She had long black hair, but, when she went into the water, she stuffed it all under a swimming cap. I'm afraid I stared at her while she did it, unable to believe she could get all of that hair inside that cap. She did it though. She looked like she might be a little older than I was, perhaps seventeen or eighteen. She didn't seem to be with anyone either. Most of the other kids were congregated in groups of as many as five people. They put their towels beside each other, sitting close together. Usually, they even all went into the pool together. Of all of the kids there, the ones without their parents nearby, she and I were the only two sitting by ourselves. I thought that was strange. I looked at my new watch, one that Mr. Chalmers had given me, as an early birthday present he said, and it was only three fifteen. I had over three hours to wait for Hans to come get me. I thought about going back into the club house and calling him for an early ride, but I decided against it. If I went home early, Mrs. Parsons would ask why my plans had suddenly changed. I didn't want to admit that the whole pool trip was only because I hoped to be able to run into Brenda. At about four o'clock, the crowd of people at the pool started thinning out. By four thirty, there were only about seven people left. The pretty black haired girl was one of the people still there. I had been watching her more and more ever since I'd first noticed her. Her hair looked as dark as Bea's, and I wondered if she had as much hair between her legs as Bea did. Her breasts were smaller than Bea's, but they weren't small. She was wearing a blue one piece swim suit, and she had taken off the strings that tied the top on her neck and tucked them inside her suit. She was laying down on her back on a towel on the pool decking. Almost everyone else used a lounger, but she chose to lay on the concrete. She was only about twenty feet away from where I was sitting. The way she was positioned, her head was closer to me than her feet were. I guess she was nervous about her top coming down, because she was always tugging it up with both her hands, one on each side of the suit. From where I was sitting, I got to see more of her breasts whenever she did that, because she also lifted the top out when she pulled it upward. For just half a second or so, every time she did the adjustment, I could see a lot more of her than usual. After fifteen minutes of it, I began to wonder if she knew I was watching her, and was doing it on purpose. I got up from my chair, and went into the pool to cool off. I did a little splashing around, experimenting in the shallow end to see if I could propel myself through the water using my hands and legs. It wasn't quite as easy as I had earlier thought. I spent about fifteen or twenty minutes experimenting before getting out of the pool and going back to my lounge chair and towel. I noticed, when I was walking back to my chair, that the girl had changed her position while I was in the pool. She was still on her back, but now her feet were closer to me. My first thought was that she must have realized the view she was giving me and had moved so that it wouldn't happen again. After I dried myself off, and was sitting back down again, I had a second thought. This second thought was occasioned because the girl started adjusting her suit in her crotch area. She would reach a finger under her suit leg and bring it forward before releasing it. Sometimes she did it with her left hand, sometimes her right. Once, after she had done it, she reached between her legs and scratched herself, right on her pussy. Because of things that Bea taught me, I knew that this girl was doing it on purpose, teasing me. Bea had told me that girls and women never did anything accidental where guys were concerned. If they did something in front of a guy, there was a one hundred per cent certainty that they knew exactly what they were doing. This girl had spent almost an hour amusing herself by constantly keeping me on the edge of my chair, riveted to see what she was going to show me next. I certainly wasn't upset by it. In fact, knowing that she was doing it deliberately, made it a lot more exciting for me. I crossed my legs and draped my towel over my suit so that my crotch was no longer visible. The edges of the towel were draped over the arm rests of the lounge chair, and the front of the towel reached down beyond my knees. I carefully placed my arm under the towel, making it appear, from her view of me, that I was playing with myself. In fact, I had my hand on my thigh, away from my dick. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I did that. I guess I was trying to show her that I was willing to play too. What happened next, still surprised me. She sat up a little, resting on her elbows, and looked over at the four other people still in the pool area. I think it was a mother and her three young children, but I'm not certain. They were on the other side of the pool, and at least seventy five feet away from either of us. The mother was paying attention to the youngest child, a little girl who was playing near the edge of the pool. The black haired girl seemed to be satisfied with what she was seeing, because she reached down and pulled her suit to the side and away from her pussy. She was looking right at me and smiling when she did it too. She kept her suit pulled back that way for a long time, turning a few times to make sure she wasn't being observed by that other woman or her children. She wasn't nearly as hairy as Bea was down there, and I could also see that her pussy lips were bigger than Bea's. While I watched her, she took a finger and pressed it on one of her pussy lips and opened her pussy up for me to see inside. I remember thinking that Bea would like to see this, and she would love to have me remember all the details so I could share them with her. As suddenly as she had done that, she quit showing me just as quickly. Once everything was back in place, she stood up and gathered her towel and other things together, leaving the pool area. She walked quickly, not looking back. When my dick had calmed down some, stopped throbbing at least, I went over and jumped back in the pool again. That had been a very exciting experience for me. I had no idea why she would do something like that, right in front of a total stranger. Bea had told me that it excited her more to do things where she might risk being caught, but this girl was being careful to make sure only I got to see her doing that. I knew I didn't know her, or her me. Didn't she worry that I might have gotten upset and turned her in for doing that? I never would have, but she didn't know that. I played around in the water until about six o'clock, thinking about that girl and about Bea. For some reason, I didn't think about Brenda at all right then. I was trying to think of a way to let Bea know that I had an exciting thing happen at the pool. I wanted her to be curious enough to come up to my room after everyone else was asleep. I wanted her to be nice to me so that I would tell her all about my experience. I knew the story would get her excited, and then she'd let me have sex with her. Hans came for me a little early, but I was already waiting in the parking lot. As soon as I got home, I ran upstairs and showered and dressed for dinner. I still hadn't thought of a good way to tell Bea that I had a good story for her. At the dinner table that night, it was just Bea, Mrs. Parsons, and me. I sat in my usual place, with Bea right across from me and Mrs. Parsons was in her usual place, at the foot of the table. Dinner was some kind of a German pot roast that Gerta often made, the meat was cooked in a heavy beef gravy sauce with boiled potatoes and lots of cooked carrots. The meat was always so tender, you didn't even need a knife. You could cut it with your fork. I liked it when she cooked meat that way, and I loved squishing up the carrots and the potatoes together, putting lots of the gravy all over them. Mrs. Parsons asked me about the swimming pool, and I told her that I had a good time, but wished I knew how to swim. Mrs. Parsons then said she thought I could swim, or else she never would have allowed me to go to the pool. I told her that I was learning, and could now swim a little bit. I told her I stayed in the shallow end where the water was always less than waist high. That seemed to calm her somewhat. "Were any of your friends at the pool?" Mrs. Parsons seemed unusually concerned as she waited for me to answer her. "No, just some kids I remember from before. I didn't see anyone I knew there. There was a dark haired girl there. I thought she looked very familiar at first, but then I realized that she only looked a tiny bit like Bea does. Do you have a younger sister, Bea? This girl reminded me of you." "I have two younger sisters. Kenny, but I doubt they'd be at a private country club swimming pool. If it was my sister Trina though, you would have been in for a treat. That kid is prime, grade A stuff. She just turned sixteen. I haven't seen her in three years. I'm heading off to see her as soon as I get my court release." "I was unaware that you planned on leaving my employ Bea. Are you certain that is a wise move? You've settled in here so nicely. But, of course, you must be homesick, after being away from your family for so long. We'll certainly miss your presence around here, especially Kenny. I'm sure he'll miss your friendship as much as I will." Mrs. Parsons looked over at me when she finished speaking, obviously expecting me to say something to Bea also. "That's true Bea. I don't know what I'm going to do after you leave. Do you think your sister would like to come to work here?" "Kenny, you're too cute to let my sister come here to fall under your spell. I had a tough time resisting you myself, and I'm experienced with things like that. Trina is a total innocent. No, I better keep her far away from you." It was obvious that Bea was playing a game with both me and Mrs. Parsons. I thought it was a dangerous game. Mrs. Parsons might know a lot more than she had let on to us. I still remembered that night when Mr. Parsons tried to get me to leave. Mrs. Parsons was nobody's fool, and she was more aware of things than some people thought she was. Dangerous or not, Bea seemed to get away with it because Mrs. Parsons just smiled and made no comment. I did the same. After dinner, I hung around the kitchen with Hans and Gerta, telling them about my progress in learning to swim. When I came back into the living room Mrs. Parsons and Bea were involved in a conversation. Seeing me returning, Mrs. Parsons quit speaking and announced that she was off for bed. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet, so I told her I'd stay downstairs and watch some television and keep Bea company. I wished her a good night though, and waited for her to finish navigating the stairs before heading off to the library to turn on the television. Bea followed close behind me. When we were alone, Bea beat me to the punch by speaking first. "The old lady is pissed, kid. Before you came back she was really letting me have it for the things I said to you at the dinner table. She claimed you were too young and innocent to be hearing what I said to you. If she only knew, huh?" "I'm going to really miss you, Bea. I wasn't kidding about that. Do you really have two sisters?" "No, I've got four sisters, but only two are younger than me. I wasn't kidding about Trina, she is one great looker. I made up the part about her being innocent though. Trina could probably teach me a thing or two by now." "That girl I saw today had black hair just like yours." "Is that why she reminded you of me?" "A little bit, but when she showed me her pussy, that really reminded me of you." "You're lying! Tell me how it happened." "Not here. Maybe sometime later, when we're all alone." "Kenny, that's not fair. If you weren't going to tell me, you shouldn't have brought it up." "I'm sorry, Bea. I just thought you'd be interested. She did it on purpose, so it wasn't an accident. She was looking right at me and smiling when she did it. I guess I'm too tired for television, Bea. I think I need to go to bed early and get plenty of rest." "I bet you think you're pretty smart, Kenny. You think I'll sneak up to see you so you'll tell me all about it, don't you?" "Maybe I'm just going to my room so I'll have some privacy in case I decide to play with myself." "You better not do that, Kenny. You might be right. How would it be if I came up there and you were all done for the night?" "Maybe just one quick one so I can fall asleep. I'll be ready if you do come up later." "You better not do that, Kenny. I want to do that for you while you tell me about the girl at the pool. Was she pretty?" "Very pretty. Good night, Bea. Don't wait too long. I won't be able to sleep the way I'm feeling now." It was only a few minutes past midnight when Bea came into my bedroom. She sucked me while I told her everything I could remember about the girl at the pool. Bea got really hot after I finished telling her, and then she sucked me again so that she could get on top and do it that way. I played with her big breasts and held on as she kept working herself up into a lather. As soon as she started having her orgasm, I started mine. She made me lick her after, telling me it was my punishment for teasing her earlier and making her take such a big chance by coming to my room so early. I didn't mind being punished that way, especially when she turned around so that she could suck me again. She got back on top again, and this time she came a long time before I could. She squeezed me so tight with her thighs and her pussy, I thought my ribs would be crushed or my dick would be injured. I'm not sure what time she left my room. It was after I fell asleep though. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 8 Friday night came, and with it, Mr. Parsons. He sat down to dinner with us and that was supposed to be all I saw of him for the whole weekend. Mrs. Parsons made a comment that he was under enormous pressure because of the pending merger, and she told me not to bother him during his stay. As if I would seek him out for anything. I went up to my bedroom after dinner, and sat on my bed, listening to my radio, and thinking about my next idea for "accidentally" running into Brenda. It had been nine whole days since our argument in the bleachers. How long was she going to hold a grudge? Worse, suppose she wasn't holding a grudge against me? Suppose instead, she had simply lost any interest she might have had in me? That wasn't a very pleasant thought. Saturday morning, Mrs. Parsons was staying in her bedroom. It was Mr. Parsons who came to my bedroom door to tell me that she wouldn't be going out to the country club to play golf with me. When he told me about it, he actually seemed as disappointed as I was. "How did your tennis date with Brenda go, Kenny?" It was surprising to me that he would ask me a question that was not strictly necessary for him to be asking. That wasn't the kind of relationship we had formed thus far. I might have hesitated too long in answering, because he started to turn away to head to the staircase. "She got mad at me, and I haven't seen her for nine days now." He paused, then turned back to stand in my doorway, the way he had been shortly before. "Why was she mad at you? Were you not being a gentleman?" The way he phrased the question sounded to me like he already had decided that the answer would be no. For some reason, I didn't want Mr. Parsons to think he had been right about me all along. His earlier comments, that night he tried to get me to leave after the incident with Bea, had shown me that he held a poor opinion of the kind of person that I was. "It wasn't anything I did, it was what I wouldn't do, that's what made her angry." I heard a whine in my voice as I said that to him. I was reminded of the many times I'd been sent to Mother Superior's office, to explain my reasons for one failure or another of mine to comply with a sister's demand. With Mother Superior, I'd always known that what I said wouldn't matter to her. She never sided with a kid over a sister. There was still something in my nature that demanded that I try to make her understand why I had acted as I had. I had automatically assumed that Mr. Parsons would treat me the same way as Mother Superior always had. "Tell me about what happened, Kenny." He said it in an anxious tone of voice. My first thought was that he was afraid I might have done something that would reflect badly on him with Mr. Connor. I already knew, from earlier conversations with both Brenda and Mrs. Parsons, that Mr. Connor did business with the Parsons' family company, and that he was dependent on the family's continued good will towards him. I went ahead and told him everything that happened, from the first, aborted tennis practice, to our later practice, and our subsequent conversation about Richard and Claudia being caught in a "compromising embrace". Apparently, judging by his next series of questions, Mr. Parsons was as curious as Brenda and Bea had been about the exact nature of what Richard and Claudia had been up to. "Why didn't you just go ahead and do what she wanted you to? It seems to me that one or two questions, discreetly asked, wouldn't have been taking advantage of anything." "I was a guest, and I didn't want to get Mr. Chalmers or your wife in trouble because I did something wrong." "I see your point, but I think you might have still made a few discreet inquiries on Brenda's behalf. Now tell me what plan you've come up with to re-insert yourself into her good favor?" "I tried to run into her at the pool, but she wasn't there. I go to the club almost every day, but I haven't seen her there. I don't know what to do." "I wish I'd had your kind of problems when I was your age. You can't just sit back and hope that she eventually forgives you. You need to show some spine. Get on the phone and call her. Don't be afraid to grovel if you have to. You have to understand the way all women think, Kenny. If she's mad at you, in her mind, that automatically means that you were in the wrong. It is therefore up to you to apologize to her. Whether or not you think you were wrong, matters to them not one whit. The problem with this is that you've waited too long to simply apologize to her. Now, you also have to bring her tribute. Some symbolic gesture, an offering to show your sincere repentance. Is there any way you can perform the task that she asked of you? Probably not. Too much time has passed. Is there something else that she requested from you, something that you also refused?" "She wanted me to be her partner in the mixed doubles tournament, but I told her I wanted to wait until I could play well enough to not embarrass myself." "Good. Call her straight away. Apologize to her, and offer to be her partner later today, at the weekly tournament." "I don't have her phone number." "I have it in my study. Come with me, and we'll call her from there. Kenny, you really have to be more assertive, if you are to enjoy any success with the ladies, or with anything in life. If you just sit back, someone else will succeed where you've failed." We went down to his study as soon as I was dressed. I was surprised that he didn't go on ahead, instead of waiting in the doorway for me. His desk in the study was filled up with all kinds of paperwork. It was more reading than I could do in a year. He saw me looking at everything on his desk. He sat down and reached into the top drawer and pulled out a thin, black notebook. He searched through it for a minute, and then put it away and picked up his phone. After dialing, he surprised me by not passing the phone receiver over to me. "Georgia, this is Tom Parsons, is Walt available for a minute or two?" There was a short wait, maybe fifteen or twenty seconds, while Mrs. Connor went to get Mr. Connor. "Walt, I was just sitting at my desk trying to figure out a few things for next year, when Kenny came into my study, all upset about his little row with Brenda. Do you know what's going on with them? He seems to think she might be mad at him, and it's left him upset." Mr. Parsons winked over at me, listening to whatever Mr. Connor was telling him. "No, he didn't say why she might be mad, only that she was." I could hear Mr. Connor talking through the receiver. He seemed to be talking very fast. "That's good of you Walt. You ask her, and if it isn't that serious, have her call over here so that Kenny will calm down enough to let me get back to my work." I heard Mr. Connor talking again, this time slower, more like normal conversation. "Of course, Walt, I wouldn't let something like this have any effect on any of my supplier decisions. This was purely a personal call for help." He hung up the phone a little while later, and then turned his attention back to me. "Kenny, I just greased the rails for you there. It's still up to you to apologize and to ask her if she'll let you partner her in the tennis tourney today. I only spoke with Mr. Connor in order to let him know that I have taken a personal interest in this matter. That was just in case Walt or Georgia had a hand in her not contacting you. I trust you'll remember that Brenda is a nice young lady, from a good family, and I hope you won't attempt to take advantage of her, as you did with Beatrice." "Do you think she'll call me?" "I'm certain that she will. Give it half an hour. Use that time to think about what you wish to say to her. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to get accomplished today. Let me know how your day goes at dinner tonight. If Mrs. Parsons should join us for dinner, I'd expect you to keep mum about my part in any of this. If you are wondering why I'm using my valuable time to help you with this, it is because of Bertie. Your being here with us has helped her. She seems more focused and energetic now, and she is getting out and about more often. As long as she continues showing signs of getting stronger, I will continue to view you in this more favorable light. Do you understand?" "Yes, sir. Thank you for your help." "You're welcome. Please shut my door on your way out. Good luck with Brenda, and with your tennis tourney." I knew he wanted me to get out of there and leave him alone. After I went out, I went in the kitchen and had my breakfast. I told Gerta that I was hoping for a phone call from a girl. When I was telling her that, Bea walked into the kitchen. "Is it Miss Brenda, Kenny? Did you find a way to get her back?" Bea's eyes looked excited. She liked hearing about everybody's private business. I kept her company while Gerta made her breakfast, filling her in about the surprising help I received from Mr. Parsons. She listened carefully, asking questions when she wanted me to explain better about the things that Mr. Parsons had said, both to me, and to Mr. Connor. When I finished, Gerta was bringing Bea her breakfast, two sunny side up eggs and one piece of unbuttered toast. She already had a cup of coffee in front of her. "This doesn't surprise me that much. Tommy doesn't like being left out of anything. He thinks he's a great General or something. Maybe he is. One thing I'm sure of, from what you've told me, he has Mr. Connor under his thumb because of business, and he'll probably do almost anything not to have Tommy squish him. When it comes to persuasion, Tommy is real good. He talks good, but talk isn't everything." Gerta had sat down with us, and was eating a sweet roll with her coffee. I thought she'd be upset to hear Bea using Mr. Parsons first name that way, and for the things she said about him. If she was, her laughter didn't demonstrate that too well. Bea was giving me ideas about what to say to Brenda when she called. I was surprised that she agreed completely with Mr. Parsons about how I should apologize and offer to play in the tournament with her. "Bea, I can't play very well. We're going to get creamed if we try to play." "Kenny, that isn't important. In fact, the worse you play, and the more embarrassed you are about it, the more she'll appreciate you doing this for her. She'll understand that you are only doing this for her. I bet it makes her wet too. This might be her first real taste of having the power. I was twelve years old when I first experienced the power. It changed my whole way of looking at things." "Suppose we play better than I think, suppose we win a match? It could happen, Brenda's pretty good." "It won't matter that much. The important thing was that you acted to get her back, you apologized, and offered to do something she knew you didn't want to do. She's going to be impressed that you got Tommy to talk to her father and help plead your case. Even if you do win, she will know that she made you sacrifice something to get back into her presence. The power is in making men do what they normally wouldn't do, would never do, not if they weren't wanting something from you. She will know she is important to you, and that you couldn't stop thinking about her. That's the power." "Suppose she still wants me to ask some of the club employees about what happened with Richard and Claudia?" "Find out for her, if you can. You better tell me about it too, if you do find out. If you apologize and then still refuse to look into it, she will know your apology was a bunch of bologna. Don't let her think that, or else you will lose her. An insincere apology is far worse than no apology. You should also find some way to kiss her after the tennis is all done. You deserve one for giving in to her. If you don't take one, she'll think you are too weak. Don't let her think that. If she kisses you before you take a kiss from her, then you have to do something more to show that you're strong. Either touch her tits, or rub her ass, but make sure you do something." "She's only fourteen, Bea, plus she's a nice girl. I don't think she'd appreciate me taking liberties like that." "So now you think you know more about women than I do? I'm giving you gold here, kid and you're treating it like it was dog shit. The sooner you get rid of the notion that little rich girls are different than people like Gerta and me, the better off you're going to be. When it comes to boys and girls, we're all built the same. The game is the same too. The rules might vary some, but the goal is just the same. If you want to score in the game, you have to know how to play. Do you think she is going to be that surprised if you cop a little feel? Especially if she starts it off by giving you the first kiss? You better pay attention and listen to me, Kenny. If she gives you that strong of a go ahead signal, and you don't act on it, you just might find yourself out of the game with her, out without ever having had the slightest chance to score." I got up and went out to the living room. I thought about what Bea had said. With Bea, I hadn't felt shy about any of the sex things. Of course, she was bold enough for both of us. I had already found out from her that she liked teaching me new things. Bea wasn't a normal girl though. What worked with her, probably wouldn't work on a girl like Brenda. I could argue with myself all day about that, but the truth was that Bea knew so much more about men and women than I did. I would be foolish to think that my ideas on what to do would be better than her advice. I was saved from having to do further thinking by the sound of the telephone ringing. Gerta came into the living room to tell me the phone call was for me. My stomach got tight and seemed to clench up. I was suddenly afraid to talk to her. Having Bea come into the living room to watch and listen didn't help things either. "Hello?" "Kenny, it's Brenda. My dad said you wanted me to call you?" "Hi Brenda. Yes, thanks for calling me. I would have called you, but I didn't have your number. Brenda, I'm sorry about not doing that thing you asked me to. I should have done what you asked, and I'm sorry that I didn't." "I thought you were mad at me, Kenny. I got over being mad at you right after. I was hoping you'd come to the tennis courts, but when you didn't, I thought you were still mad at me." "No, I wasn't ever mad at you. I went to the pool, but you didn't show up. I waited there until after six." "I heard that you had been there. Diana Trask told me. She said you were looking all around at everyone, but you didn't come over to talk with anyone. She thinks you're too shy." "I was there mostly hoping to see you again. I was wondering if you still wanted me to be your partner at the mixed doubles tournament? Mr. Parsons told me there is one going on this afternoon at the club." "Do you mean it? I wasn't going to go, because I'd only get stuck with someone too old to really play tennis. All of the good men or boy players already have partners. If you'd come and play, I bet we can do better than losing in the first round. At least, you can get to some of the balls. Most of the old guys can only hit it back if it gets hit right where they are standing. I thought you wanted more practice before playing in the tourneys?" "I do, but I wanted to offer, so you knew how sorry I was about that other thing." "Well, I probably should be nice, and let you off the hook, but I'm not going to be. I'll meet you at the courts at around noon. Maybe we can get some time to work out a playing strategy, once we know who our first opponents are. The matches begin at two o'clock. I could kiss you for doing this for me, Kenny. I really appreciate it. I've missed you ever since we had our stupid fight. I need to go now to make sure all of my things are ready. I'll see you at twelve?" "I'll see you then. I'm going to hold you to that promised kiss too." "I never promised. That's only an expression." "Oh, that's disappointing." "Don't try to make me feel sorry for you. It isn't going to work. I'll tell you this though, if we win our first match, I will kiss you, right out there on the court too. "I'd rather it was right on the lips, not on the court." "We'll just have to wait and see. Bye." After I put the phone down. Bea made me tell her every word that Brenda had spoken to me. She asked about Brenda's tone of voice, and how she spoke several key sentences to me. I felt like I was being interrogated by one of the sister's at the orphanage. Being asked about something that I'd done wrong. Bea whispered to me that her pussy was soaked from thinking about what was going to be happening with Brenda and me soon. She told me that I would probably be screwing Brenda, her words, not mine, before she even got her release from the court. I told her that I didn't want to do that with Brenda. That wasn't entirely true, but I wasn't really feeling like doing it so quickly with her. I wanted Bea all the time, and that girl at the pool who showed me her pussy, I wanted her even more than I did Bea. Brenda, the way I felt with her, it was more of a friends first kind of thing. I wanted to eventually have her for a girlfriend, and I got excited thinking about doing some sex things with her, but it was more complicated than just sex. With Bea, she was my friend, and sex was something that was a large part of our friendship. That black haired girl at the pool, that was strictly animal lust. Bea had told me that. She said it would be better for me if I got to fuck her once without even knowing her name, or even talking to her at all. Bea had been after me to go back to the pool on Friday too. She said the girl would get even bolder the next time. I believed everything Bea said about that girl. I could easily picture Bea doing the same thing as the girl had, and I knew that it would get her so excited if she did it. I had gotten a hard on from thinking about Bea and that other girl. I saw Bea looking at my crotch. When I caught her eye, she laughed and shook her body from side to side, making her breasts jiggle. "Come home tonight and tell me that you touched her tits. If you do, I promise I'll find a way to get up to your room, and be real nice to you." "I wasn't thinking about Brenda then. I was thinking about having you at the pool with me, if that girl came back. I bet you'd get really hot if you saw her doing that again to me." "I'd get hot all right, but maybe not just for you. Girls can do things together too, you know? It isn't always necessary to have a man near by. There are other ways for a girl to get some pleasure." I looked at her, not understanding what she meant. I got up and walked over to the staircase. I was in my room, putting on my tennis shorts and a nice shirt, when it struck me that Bea was talking about doing sex things herself with that black haired girl. After I started thinking about it, I could picture her doing that. I knew how much Bea liked it when I licked her. I took my tennis shorts off and went into my bathroom, carefully locking the door behind me. It didn't take me very long, not with that image of those two girls in my mind. When I was done, and finished with washing my hands, I had this wild thought about sister Clara and sister Karen. They were the youngest of the orphanage sisters. I remembered a time when Marie sent me over to the sister's dorm to find sister Clara because Marie needed someone to order up some food for her. When I got to sister Clara's room I heard some funny noises inside, and I also heard sister Karen laughing, and then telling someone to stop it. At the time, I didn't think anything about it, but, now, I wondered if they had been doing something like I'd been imagining Bea and the girl at the pool doing. One thought like that just naturally led to another, so, before I thought too much about what I was doing, I was grunting and splashing more of my semen into the sink. I needed to wash my hands again, and rinse all the semen down the drain. After, I decided I better wash my face and comb my hair again too. I hoped I hadn't done it too much. I knew I needed my strength to play tennis later. I knew that I could tell Bea the story about sister Clara and sister Karen. She would probably want to be nice to me after I told her about what I now thought had been going on. After I got ready, I went to Mr. Parsons study and knocked on his door. He told me to come in, so I did, thanking him again for helping me, then I told him I was going to the club to meet Brenda to work on our tennis strategy. He laughed. "I've never heard it called that before. Tennis strategy. Remember what I told you, Brenda is a nice girl. I expect you to do your best, Kenny. Winning is important in life, and you can never start too early. Tell Hans to drive you to the club. Call when you're finished, and we'll send the car back out for you. Are you fixed all right for money?" He stood up, reached in his pocket, and handed me two twenty dollar bills. "Take Brenda into the club house and buy her some lunch. Sign for it if you can, otherwise the money I gave you ought to cover it. Have them call me from the club if there's a problem with you signing." I thanked him and excused myself. I went in the kitchen, and Hans was sitting at the table drinking some coffee. It was after eleven. I asked Hans to drive me out to the country club, but he looked like Gerta had already told him I'd be going. When we got to the parking lot at the club, I told Hans that Mr. Parsons had told me to call home when I needed another ride. I walked over to the tennis courts, but Brenda hadn't arrived there yet. I sat down in the bleachers, and watched a couple playing singles together. The man was about seventy years old, and the woman was about forty. The way they were calling each other 'dear' and 'honey', I figured they were married to each other. I kept watching them play, trying to learn something from them. That's what I was doing when a pair of lips kissed me on the back of my neck. Brenda had crawled under the bleachers and snuck up on me. She laughed when I jumped up in surprise. "Did I surprise you, Kenny? You sure jumped high enough." Without waiting for my answer, she climbed through the opening between the wooden boards that served as seats, dragging her racquet bag behind her. She plopped down next to me, sitting a lot closer than she had been the last time we sat there. "There's two open courts, do you want to hit some balls, or do you want to discuss how we're going to be able to beat Mr. and Mrs. Lowenstein?" "Is that who we're playing? Do you know how they play?" "That's who you've been watching. She's like the third or fourth Mrs. Lowenstein. Mrs. Landis is his daughter, she plays too, but she's a little older than Mrs. Lowenstein is. Mrs. Landis partners with her husband, and they are both good players. I'm glad we're not facing them in the first round." While she was telling me all of this, she put her hand back on my thigh, and was again playing with the leg hair that grew there. It took me a minute, but I finally figured out that she was testing me to see if I was going to get hard. When I didn't, she started to pretend to pout. "Aren't you happy to see me again? I'm happy to see you." She stuck her chest out, and I noticed that her nipples poked out and showed through her bra. It seemed like the fabric of her bra was thinner, and I could see the nipple more clearly poking through. I blushed, wondering if I should tell her why I was soft, or try to ignore her comment. "I am happy to see you, but I did something before I came here today. I'm sorry." "You mean you touched yourself? That's why?" She sounded more curious than upset with me. Was it possible that Bea knew exactly what she was talking about? Did Brenda operate the same way that Bea did? I didn't believe that. Bea meant that they were similar in how they reacted to things, not that they would both want to do the same kind of things. I needed to talk to Bea a lot more about this. I just nodded to her that I had touched myself. It was embarrassing. I hoped she wouldn't think less of me. "Were you thinking of me, or about someone else?" I knew that I had better lie this time. There was no way that she'd forgive me if I told her about what I was thinking about, especially if I told her I did it twice in a span of ten minutes. "It was you. I'm sorry. Don't be mad, okay?" "I'm not mad, not exactly. It just seems weird that you think about me when you do that. I hope you aren't disgusting about it like my brother. He yells out people's names, and says a lot of disgusting things when he does it. His room is right next to mine, and the interior walls aren't very thick in our house. I can't help but hear him. You aren't like him, are you? You didn't shout out my name or anything?" Why was she prolonging this conversation? The whole time she was talking about it, her hand was rubbing higher and higher up my thigh. I felt my dick getting hard again, and then her hand bumped right into it. She took her hand away right after that, and looked at my crotch and giggled. I saw her face turning red too. Now we were both red faced and embarrassed. "I couldn't help myself at the end, Brenda, but I didn't yell it, it was more like a whisper." She leaned in, kissing me again, this time on my cheek. While she kissed me, I felt her placing her hand back on my thigh. Lower down this time, closer to my knee. She let it remain there, careful not to move it. "I hope no one could hear you. That would be so embarrassing, if they heard you saying my name. Especially if they knew what you were doing, like I know when Richard is doing that." "No, I was locked away in my bathroom. No one could hear me." "Do you do it a lot, like Richard?" "Not a lot, just sometimes, when I can't put it off anymore." "I know. I'm like that too, but I'm not like Richard. My mother told me that a young lady should seek a private release, rather than allowing herself to get carried away while out on a date. She says it helps to prevent girls from making poor decisions. I haven't started dating yet, but I didn't want to wait until the last minute, and then find out I was doing it wrong. I only do it about once a month now, just to make sure I don't get too nervous around boys." "If we keep talking about it, I'm going to have to do it again before I can go out on the court and play tennis with you." Brenda looked at my crotch again and laughed. I loved her laugh, it was almost musical, and so happy sounding. "Why don't we walk over to the club house and get some lunch? You can tell me then how we're going to beat the Lowenstein's. We are going to beat them aren't we?" I stood up, with Mr. Parsons racquet bag placed strategically in front of my shorts. I waited for Brenda to stand up and proceed me off of the bleacher steps. When she had turned her back to me, I reached over with my free hand and adjusted my dick in my pants. Naturally, Brenda had to pick that precise time to turn back to me, just as I was doing that. She laughed again though, amused by my blushing embarrassment. I caught up to her, swinging my racquet bag over my other shoulder, while at the same time, reaching for her free hand. She flinched for just a second at my touch, but didn't try to pull away. "I hope you have money, Kenny, because I didn't bring any?" "I just sign for everything, that's what Mrs. Parsons set up for me to do. Don't worry, they let me sign." "Richard and I asked our parents to let us sign, but they won't do it. They said we have to learn fiscal responsibility. That just means they're afraid we'll charge more than they can afford to pay. My dad's always worrying about money. Mother says he's only poor in his own mind, but he says he doesn't need to spend every last penny like her parents did. They fight about money all the time. My dad wanted me to ask you if you knew anything about rumors that your company was trying to merge with Consolidated Foods. He's worried, because he says if it happens, he's going to be out of business right after. Do you know anything about a merger?" "First, it isn't my company, I told you that already. I'm just a kid that they've got staying in their house. They don't discuss their business things with me. Tell your father to ask Mr. Parsons. Mr. Chalmers told me that Mr. Parsons runs the whole company." "Are you just saying that, or do you already know and you aren't telling me. My dad is really worried. If he knew what was happening, he might be able to do something to protect us financially. I don't want to lose everything, and that's what my dad says would happen if there was the merger he heard rumors about." "I know nothing more than you do, Brenda, maybe even less, since your father talks to you. If you want me to, I'll ask Mr. Parsons, but then he'll ask me where I heard that rumor. I won't lie to him." "No, I'll just tell my dad that you don't know anything about the business. What are you going to have for lunch? I'm starving. Can I get anything, or is there a limit?" "I'm hungry too. I guess anything on the menu is all right. I like the cheeseburgers and the steak sandwiches. I can't decide which I want today." Can I order the fried shrimp? I really like it, but I know shrimp is expensive." "You can order it if it's on the menu. You can order two if you want to." "My mother says she could order anything she wanted when she was a girl. When grandpa went broke, my mother said it had nothing to do with how much the family spent. She said it was just the economy was bad for their businesses at the time. My grandfather used to be really rich. I wish he didn't have to let himself get poor before I was born. I'm going to marry someone rich. My mother told me it is just as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor one." "I'm as poor as a person can get. I don't think I'd ever be rich. Mr. Chalmers is really rich, and so is his sister, but I think Mr. Parsons is supposed to be poor. Mr. Chalmers said that he makes a lot of money running the company, so I don't know how he can make a lot of money and still be poor too. I know he likes to give me twenty dollar bills though. He gave me three of them already this week." "My father says that you might inherit everything if you stay in good with the family. He still thinks that you might be Mr. Chalmers son. If my dad is right, about you inheriting, he says you're going to be stinking rich." For some reason, that whole conversation was bothering me. Brenda's open hunger for money was disturbing. I had no experience with money. In fact, the fifty four dollars I had in my pants right then was more money than I'd ever seen before at one time. None of the sister's at the orphanage had money, and Mother Superior wrote out checks from a big book she kept in her office. Marie had some money, but I didn't think she had very much. Mr. Chalmers had told me to let Mrs. Parsons buy me whatever clothes and things she wanted to. He said whatever it came to would be less than the cost of a six dollar cheeseburger would be to me. Mrs. Parsons told me that Bunny already had more money than he would ever need. The house we now lived in was bigger than the whole orphanage I used to live in. I had no experience with people having that kind of money. "Brenda, I'm not going to inherit their money. If that's the reason you're being so nice to me, then you're doing it for nothing." "You can't know that, Kenny. Besides, I'm not expecting them to keel over and die right away. You wouldn't have to be rich, not if you could live like you were rich. My father says that people who start out poor, and then make themselves rich, are better off than people who just inherited the money. He says the guy who actually makes himself rich almost never takes it all for granted or loses it carelessly." We got up to the restaurant and were given a nice table that looked out over the first tee below us. I decided on the steak sandwich and Brenda order the fried shrimp platter. We both ordered French fries to go with it. I had a Coke, but Brenda wanted an iced tea. Her shrimp came with a sauce that looked like catsup, but it was spicier. It tasted real good with my French fries, so I asked our waiter to bring me more of it. "Kenny, I'm going to be on the ad court, so you'll play the deuce. Mr. Lowenstein always plays the deuce court too. His weakness has always been poaching. He always does it too often. Mrs. Lowenstein is slow crossing to cover in the back, and you can beat him down the line when he does poach. Mrs. Lowenstein can't volley well, so I'll try to stay up front more and you try to cover the back. You're pretty fast, so just try to get to everything and get it back into play. Don't let them try to slow us down. They both have a problem with stamina, so even if they win the first match, they can't go very far in the tournament. There are only nine entrants, so they draw for byes after each round. No entrants can get more than a single bye. If we pull the first match out, we'll probably have to play Mr. and Mrs. Edgar, and they're tough. Let's see if we can win one round first. If we do, we'll try to figure out some way to play the Edgar's after." We went back out to the court after lunch, and played our first match together. I got all mixed up a few times, and sprayed the returns around on Mr. Lowenstein's serves. Brenda played extremely well, and carried us to an easy victory, 6-2. After we shook hands with the Lowenstein's, Brenda gave me the kiss she had promised. This time on my other cheek. In the bleachers, she pointed out the Edgar's. They were running this other couple all over the court. The other couple consisted of a young boy, about twelve, and a woman who I learned was his mother. She didn't play that well, but the boy was very good. I watched the boy play for the rest of the match. They lost, but he singlehandedly managed to keep the Edgar's out on the court and running hard for a long time. Brenda was excited seeing that. From what I saw of the Edgar's, one of them would need to break a leg for Brenda and I to have any chance to beat them. I told Brenda that the boy who just lost could have beaten the Edgar's if he had her for his partner instead of his mother. "Ron is ranked nationally, in the boys twelve and unders. His mother forces him to play the mixed with her. He and I, partnered together, we could win this tournament. He beat the boy's number one from Ridgeline high two weeks ago, 6-1, 6-3. Did you see his backhand? I'd love to be able to hit it like that. He just turned twelve too." "What do you think our chances are against the Edgar's?" "If you can throw a lot of balls back at them, we have a small chance. Ron softened them up for us. I'd rather we drew the second round bye though. I've never gotten to the third round in this tourney. That's how you get the chance to get the better partners, when you make it out of the first and second rounds. They limit the field to sixteen entrants, but today there was a big wedding, and a lot of the regular field aren't here." We didn't get the bye, the Edgar's did. That left us to play Mr. and Mrs. Landis. Since we had beaten her parents and his in laws, there was something of a family honor aspect to the match. We went down 6-4, but not before we surprised them with the strategy that Brenda had worked out for the Edgar's. I stayed in the back and returned everything I could get to with a lob, trying to just keep the ball in play. If I could return service better, we might have won that match. Brenda stayed close to the net and she volleyed really well. After the match, I was tired, and upset with myself for not playing better. Both of the Landis's told me that they were impressed with how many balls I managed to get back into play. Mrs. Landis said she thought her arm was going to fall off after having to hit so many overhead put aways. Those comments made me feel a little bit better about the loss. Brenda went with me when I went to phone Hans to pick me up. She was planning on staying for the rest of the tournament. At the club, there is a small alcove off of the restaurant. There were two pay phones there, and a big space for storing empty bottles and cans from the bar. Seeing that it was deserted, I grabbed Brenda and kissed her. This was right on her lips, and when I did it, I let one of my hands pull her in closer to me. The hand was right on her butt. I'm almost positive that she expected me to kiss her. Grabbing her butt had to be a surprise to her. I knew I couldn't do any less, not and still come home to face Bea. After we quit kissing, I dropped both hands to my sides. "I don't think I like you doing that to me, the thing with your hands." She didn't sound very upset. A little upset is what I'd say it was. "When will you know for sure?" I tried to smile, pretending that I thought she was just kidding. "I know I didn't like it. You act like you think I'm Claudia. I'm not, we're nothing alike." Now, I'd have to say she sounded very upset. I knew I'd gone too far with her. "I apologize then. I wasn't trying to do anything to get you upset at me. It was only a kiss." "You don't use your hands to kiss someone. You fondled me." "I said I was sorry. I didn't get that upset when you touched me over in the bleachers." "That was an accident. I wouldn't do that on purpose." "Someone I know, someone who knows an awful lot about things like that, once told me that girls don't do those kinds of things by accident. I think you knew what was going to happen, and you just wanted to feel it." I watched her face color up again. She had been a little flushed earlier, when she was just upset with me, but now, the color on her face had darkened considerably. I didn't say anything else. I wanted to let her decide where we were going to take this next. This was part of the problem I'd had my whole life practically. Once I had my mind made up about something, I usually wouldn't give in to the other person's argument. This had hurt me in the orphanage, but, in spite of that, I'd kept on doing it. "Well, if that's what you think of me, that I'd do something like that on purpose, why do you want to be around me?" "I didn't mind. I figured you might be curious just like I am. I grew up with only boys around, except for the nuns. I never had much chance to learn anything about girls. I'm sorry I touched you like that. If I knew you'd be mad, I wouldn't have done it." "You surprised me when you did it like that. At least you had some warning before, in the bleachers. I really didn't plan on my hand touching you, it just happened. I was thinking about you being hard, so maybe it was my sub-conscious that made my hand do that. You never gave me any warning so I could stop you." "The next time I'm going to kiss you, and touch you like that, do you want me to warn you?" This time she laughed. Not the free, natural musical laugh of before, but still she was trying to relax with me again. "Kenny, what am I supposed to do with you? I don't even know why you'd want to play with my butt. Didn't you say it is only my second best feature?" "I was trying to go real slow and work my way up to the good stuff." "My butt isn't good stuff?" "Sure, top quality. I may never wash that hand again. Still, it wasn't your butt I was thinking about in my bathroom before I came over to the club today." She took a deep breath and moved closer to me. Her breasts were inches from my chest, her nipples stuck out from her chest, almost begging me for attention. "Are you going to tell me what you were thinking about?" She said it in a strangled sounding whisper. I'd heard those same kind of throaty sounds from Bea's lips when she was very close to cumming. I looked at Brenda's face, trying to see if what I was seeing was her being excited. "I was wondering what you'd taste like on my tongue." "KEEENNNNNYYY!! Don't say that, that's so nasty. I can't believe you said that to me. You aren't serious, are you?" "I'm sorry, Brenda. I knew I shouldn't have told you what I was thinking. Now you're going to hate me." She hadn't moved away from me. If anything, she might have moved in even closer to me. Her nipples weren't any less prominent either. Bea had told me some things to look for to judge a girl's reaction to what I was saying to her. If Bea was correct, Brenda wasn't at all repelled by my conversation. I stepped back and looked down at my own crotch. Brenda couldn't doubt that I was thinking of her right then. The evidence was right there. With my white tennis shorts, the spreading wet spot was pretty obvious as well. Brenda was looking right at my dick. I saw both of her fists were tightly clenched. I'd have to remember to ask Bea what that meant. "Kenny, I better go back to the tennis courts. Thanks for coming out to play with me today. Play tennis, I meant. I'm going to be at the pool on Monday from noon until I go practice at four o'clock. I'd like it if you could come to the pool, and we could practice together later too. How are you going to hide that wet place on your shorts?" I smiled and covered up with the racquet bag. "I need to learn how to swim. It's too dangerous chasing after you like this, when I know you can drown me anytime you get me alone in the pool." "I'm already drowning, and I'm nowhere near the pool. I wish you hadn't told me what you did, Kenny. I don't want to become like Claudia became. I don't want to think about all of that, every waking minute. You're the first boy who ever scared me like that. I'm not sure I'm ready for someone like you." "I feel the same way about you, Brenda. I'd rather play golf, and learn how I can fit in better at the house. When I get around you, all those other things just seem a whole lot less important. I'll try not to think about you that way anymore. I didn't mean to scare you." "Maybe that's good, that you stop thinking of me like that. Would you still think about it, but with someone else besides me?" "I'd try not to, but you know how hard it is to control your thoughts. Is Richard still seeing Claudia?" "No. Her parents threatened to sue my parents. You should have heard what my father yelled into our phone. I'm surprised the phone lines didn't burn up from it. They finally agreed that Richard and Claudia need to stay far away from each other. I don't like it that the first one you thought of was Claudia." "You're the first one I thought of, but you said you don't want me thinking about you that way." "Call me before you decide to think that about anyone else. Thinking something isn't the same as doing something. You don't always think the same thing, do you?" "No, most of the time I think about other things. I only think about doing that one particular thing with you. I don't know why. I guess it's because we're both too young to do anything that might be more dangerous. The trouble is, the more I think about it, the more I really want to do it." "Claudia would like that. If you told her you wanted to, I'm sure she'd let you." "Maybe you're right. I just never think about doing that with her." "Call me. Call me tonight after seven, all right?" She turned around and ran over to the stairs, practically flying down them and out of sight. When she was gone, I called Hans, and then I went down to the members locker room and changed out of my shorts. I was glad I'd remembered to bring along a change of clothes with me. While I waited for Hans, I thought about what I had learned from Brenda. I'm not talking about the tennis. One thing I learned was that Bea had a much better understanding of sex and seduction than I did. I was determined to learn as much as I possibly could from her before she left. With Bea's help, I'd managed to not get lost when trying to navigate through my first real personal encounter with a girl. I didn't count Bea or that girl at the pool. They were the ones leading, not me. I was nothing more than the object of their interest at the moment. With Brenda, I was the one creating the mood and the situation. Brenda hadn't used her powers on me, I'd been the one using my powers on her. She became the moth and I became the fire, instead of it being the other way around. Even so, there was something nagging in the back of my head about what I'd just done. I felt like I had accomplished something difficult to do, and yet, I felt that, somewhere in that accomplishment, hidden from my view, lay the seeds to my ruin. I had taken a step today, but I wasn't sure if it was in the right direction. Was I going to try to pattern my life according to Bea's values, and, to a lesser extent, those of Mr. Parsons, or was I going to try to live up to a higher standard, and try to be more like Mr. Chalmers and Mrs. Parsons? If I were to follow my heart, trying to grow into the best man I was capable of being, I'd choose the latter. If I wanted sex, thrills, and many conquests, I'd choose Bea's way. Was it even remotely possible for me to choose some of each? Would choosing one path mean totally excluding the other? Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 9 Brenda had asked me to phone her at seven, but Gerta informed me that we were sitting down to dinner at seven. I decided to try to phone her before dinner, but I still didn't have her phone number. I could either go in and disturb Mr. Parsons again, something I didn't want to do, or else wait and ask him at dinner if he'd get me her phone number. Gerta noticed me just standing there, trying to decide. "What? Why are you staring at nothing?" Gerta had a superstitious nature, believing in ghosts, goblins and curses. She was ever on the watch for victims of any type of possession. Hans pretended to share her belief, but privately, he laughed at her strange ideas and notions the same as the rest of us. "Are you seeing something over there?" "No, Gerta, I was wondering if I should disturb Mr. Parsons again. He has a phone number I need." "The phone number for that Connor girl?" "Yes, he has it in a book in his desk drawer." She turned around and went back into the kitchen. It looked like she wasn't going to give me her opinion on the advisability of disturbing Mr. Parsons. A minute later, she was back with a larger black notebook, reciting the Connor number for me. After she had repeated it again, slowly enough for me to understand her accent, I wrote it down on the pad placed by the telephone. I thanked her for getting me the number, relieved at not having to disturb Mr. Parsons again. I picked up the phone receiver, carefully dialing Brenda's number. At the orphanage, I hadn't been allowed to use a telephone, but I'd observed others doing it, and knew what to do. It was only six o'clock, but I hoped that she had left the club and was already at home. A woman answered on the second ring. She sounded different than either Brenda or her mother. "Hello, Connor residence." "May I speak with Brenda, please?" "Who shall I say is calling, sir?" "Kenny Masters." "Please hold the line." There was a delay of several seconds. "I'm sorry, sir, Miss Brenda is away, and she isn't expected back before eight tonight. May I take a message?" "Would you please tell her that Kenny called, and that I'll call again tomorrow?" "Certainly sir." "Thank you." "You're quite welcome, sir." I was disappointed, but at least she would know that I had tried calling her. I went upstairs to shower and to change for dinner. On nights when there were guests, or when Mr. Parsons was at home, we dressed up for dinner. Nothing fancy, but a nice shirt and pants, with dress shoes, for me. Mr. Parsons often wore a suit at dinner. Mrs. Parsons always wore one of her long dresses. She had to have at least thirty of them, all pretty much in the same style. Bea said that she had them made for her by a seamstress. She also told me that Mr. Parsons disliked her wearing that style of dress. He told Bea that it was yet another sign that she was mentally unstable. Bea also said that she thought Mrs. Parsons wore those dresses because she knew how much her husband disliked them. We were seated for dinner at seven on the button. Mrs. Parsons had come downstairs five minutes before dinner was called. I heard the phone ringing while we were eating the main course, but, Gerta had orders to never disturb any of us during dinner time. At the dinner table, we talked about my tennis tournament with Brenda. Bea thought it was an accomplishment for us to manage to win even one match, but Mr. Parsons said he knew the Lowensteins, laughing at me when I expressed my surprise at beating them. "Hy and Ethel would have been more surprised if they had won. He's decrepit, and she's slow, slow of foot and brain both. Who did you have in the second round?" "Mr. and Mrs. Landis." "They are good. Did you put up a fight, or did they steamroller you two?" "We lost 6-4, but Brenda played really well. All I did was try to lob everything I could back to the other side of the net. There was this young boy, named Ron. At least that's what I think Brenda said his name was. He could really play. He's only twelve years old. His mother makes him partner with her, and she isn't very good. He was the best player that I saw there." "Yes, young Taylor. Quite a prospect I'm told. Someone should explain to his mother that she's holding him back from fully developing his game. She's a silly woman though, and probably prefers to think she's helping him." "Brenda said that if she was his partner, they'd win the whole tournament together." "Is she good enough to back up her claim? I don't remember seeing her play." "I think she's good. Of course, I don't have many people to compare her to. She did well today, I was the one who didn't hold up my end." "Did your offer of penance get you out of the dog house with her?" "Yes, except she told me that she wasn't even mad at me after that first day." "And, did you believe her when she said that? It doesn't appear to me that the facts support her contention." "I'm pretty sure she is no longer mad at me. She asked me to phone her tonight." This conversation was taking place with me about fifteen feet away from Mr. Parsons. We all sat in our usual places. Bea was seated back in the middle of the other side of the table, equidistant from Mr. and Mrs. Parsons. I was sitting in the first chair on the other side, on Mrs. Parsons right. "Kenny, did you enjoy competing? I used to enjoy it very much. Not for the glory mind you, but for the sheer joy of testing oneself." This was the very first time I'd ever heard Mrs. Parsons speaking with such enthusiasm at the dinner table. "We could probably still do well in the mixed, Bertie. I don't remember why we stopped playing." Mr. Parsons seemed to want Mrs. Parsons to speak with him. She seldom spoke to him at dinner for some reason. I think it was because she didn't like to raise her voice. His comment seemed to make her willing to raise her voice then though. "It was right when Daddy died. We stopped doing a lot of things then. At first we were in mourning, but then, there never seemed to be the same enthusiasm. I thought we both became so much busier after Daddy died." There was something in her voice when she spoke. Not anger exactly, but something that had some emotion tied to it. I couldn't decide if it was sadness or regret. When she finished talking, she was staring right at Mr. Parsons. This was something else she didn't often do. "Tennis was something we both enjoyed doing together. I think you're right though, your father's death sent deep ripples across the whole surface of our lives. I still miss his advice and counsel. I enjoyed those times we played tennis at the club, Bertie. We were always on the same side then." "When Daddy died, you got what you'd always wanted, Thomas. A chance to run everything, to finally be your own man." "No, you're wrong about that, Bertie. But, perhaps soon. With Consolidated, I'll have complete autonomy within my division. Not that I've had any difficulty consulting with you and Bunny about any major changes in operations that I've recommended or undertaken. Still, under the proposed new set up, I'll have full authority. I'll finally be my own man." "You won't need Bunny or me after the merger goes through. Is that what you're saying, Thomas?" Mrs. Parsons stood up, and asking to be excused due to feeling unwell. Her leaving seemed to upset Mr. Parsons. As soon as Mrs. Parsons turned at the head of the staircase, he too asked to be excused, moving back to his study, and shutting himself back in with all of his papers. I knew that Mr. Parsons worked hard, partly from what I'd observed when he was home, but mostly because everyone else said that was so. Mr. Chalmers was a lawyer, but it seemed to me that he didn't work nearly as hard as Mr. Parsons did. In over a month, I'd only seen him having fun that one time when we all played golf. He'd gone to a wedding, and some engagement that was business. It didn't seem to me like his life was very good. Bea moved her place setting down across from me. "Well, tell me all about it. Did you kiss her?" "She kissed me. She came up behind me in the bleachers, and kissed the back of my neck." "What else? What did you do when she did that? Did you feel her up like I told you to?" "I didn't do anything. She kissed me again, on the side of my face, and put her hand on my leg." "On your leg? How high up? Did she rub her hand against you, or touch your dick?" "She hit it by accident, but then she took her hand right away afterwards." "Kenny, you are such an innocent. The chance she copped that feel of your joint, by accident, is roughly one in a million. Tell me what happened after she did that. Were you still sitting there in the bleachers?" "We didn't do much after that. We played tennis, and when we won she kissed me again, on the other side of my face. We had lunch before we played tennis, but nothing else happened at lunch." "What did she order?" "The fried shrimp, and I had a steak sandwich. We had a nice table by a big window, overlooking the first tee. She asked me some business questions that her father told her to ask me. She thinks too much about money." "Kenny, you can't think too much about money. So, tell me. What did you do to her after all this? After the tennis." "I went to call Hans for a ride and she went with me." "And?" "That's it. I called him, and then she went back to watch the rest of the tournament. She asked me to call her later. When I called, they said she was still out." "You better be lying to me, kid. If not, you just screwed the pooch. She kisses you three separate times, and you didn't try anything back with her?" "No. Those weren't real kisses. She told me the other thing was an accident. After it happened, I said something to her about it, and she got very upset. She's a nice girl." "Kenny, nice girls are the same as bad girls. She did everything but pull your pants down and suck you off, and you didn't even try to kiss her or cop a feel?" "She wasn't like that. She's only going to be a ninth grader. She doesn't even date yet." "I give up. This is hopeless. I really expected a lot more out of you. You must not have listened to a single thing I tried to tell you. She thinks one of two things, I guarantee you. Either you don't like her, or you are just plain stupid. She gave you all green lights, and you kept stopping every time." Gerta came in then and started gathering up the place settings from the Parsons. When either Mr. or Mrs. Parsons was around, Gerta treated Bea and I with respect, the same as she would the Parsons or Mr. Chalmers. When it was only one or both of us, she treated us like we were fellow employees, equals. "That girl called back for you, Kenny. The Connor girl. She wants you to call her after you're done eating." "Thanks, Gerta. I'm done now. Is there dessert? Never mind, I'll come back to the kitchen when I get off the phone." "You hold it right there, kid. What are you planning on saying to her?" Bea was insistent. "I thought I'd start off with hello, then ask her how she is, and who won the tournament. After that, I'll ask her if she really wanted to suck me off before, like you said." "Do that, and you really will close the books on this girl. I need to ask you, what did she do when you questioned her about her little accident? How did she put it when she told you it just happened by mistake?" "Bea, I want to go call her now. Let me call her, then, after, we'll finish our talk." "I want to listen in when you talk to her. When she got upset, did she move away from you, did she stay right there, or did she move in closer? That wasn't any accident, Kenny. She put her hand on your leg fully intending to touch your dick. Don't ask her if she wanted to suck you. She'd never admit it, and she'd be mad if you just came out and said it, even if that is what she wants." "Bea, I don't want you listening in on my private conversations. I like her. She isn't just some girl that I want to see if I can do things with." "A girl like me, you mean? That's what you really meant to say, isn't it? I was just trying to do you a favor, kid. I don't need to get myself so involved in any of this. You go right ahead now, go in by yourself and call her. Just don't come running back to me later, trying for us to be friends again." Bea was upset with me. Her face was an angry red shade, and her eyes were looking at me with something a lot different than the usual look of friendliness I was used to seeing from her. Bea didn't know me that well, not if she thought this was the way to get me to let her have her way. I'd spent my whole life with professionals, people who really knew how to make someone feel bad about either their thoughts or their deeds. Compared to sister Elizabeth, Bea was a rank beginner in the manipulation through guilt game. "Thanks, Bea, I knew you'd understand." I got up from the table, and walked over to the living room phone. I didn't have to look back at Bea to already know what her reaction was. I'd seen that look too many times, on too many sisters at the orphanage, and at the school. I knew that Bea didn't really mean what she was saying to me. Even if she did mean it, I wouldn't have acted differently. I got hold of Brenda easily, since she answered the phone herself this time. We spoke for about fifteen minutes, most of it spent with her telling me about the later matches in the tournament. It ended up with the Edgar's beating the Landis's, 6-3. Brenda told me that she had asked Mrs. Taylor, Ron's mother, if she and Ron could partner up for one of the tourneys, later in the summer. The answer had been a no. Brenda said Mrs. Taylor didn't offer any explanation for her decision. I didn't blame Brenda for preferring Ron as a partner over me. He played very well. When our conversation on tennis wound down, Brenda lowered her voice, obviously trying not to be heard by anyone over in her house. "When we were talking before, before you called for your ride? You were making that up about what you were thinking about in your bathroom, right?" "No, but I already told you I would try not to think it anymore." "That's good then. It bothers me that you would even think that. I was thinking about if it will make me self conscious around you the next time we meet someplace. You don't think about things like that when we played tennis together, or when we were having lunch today?" "Brenda, stop worrying about it. I told you I only think about that kind of stuff maybe once a month. Once or twice a month, unless someone starts talking about it, like you're doing now. When someone talks about it, then I start thinking about it too." "Are you thinking about it now?" "I'm starting to. When you stop talking about it, it'll probably go away again." "Only probably?" "Most likely. I did it twice this morning, so it shouldn't come back so quick." "Twice? Thinking about that same thing, about me?" "No, that was only the first one, the best one. The second time was just so I'd be more relaxed around you at the club. I didn't think about too much for the second one. It was just about two people I used to know." "So, it isn't always me you think about?" "Oh no, that was the only time I did that and thought about you. I'm not even sure why I started thinking about doing that. It just kind of popped into my head, and I started wondering about it." "You just suddenly started wondering how I'd taste?" "No, it doesn't happen like that. I started thinking about you, and how you look. Your face, your hair, and your eyes. Innocent stuff. It was only later, when I was almost, when I was ready to, you know, that's when I wondered how you'd taste there." "You were thinking about me for a long time though, right? Before you started wondering." "Maybe ten or fifteen minutes. Part of that time I was just thinking, not doing anything else." "I have to go now, Kenny. Are you going to be at the pool tomorrow?" "It might not be until after golf. It depends on what Mrs. Parsons decides. We usually play eighteen holes after my lessons, but, sometimes, she doesn't want to play, or she only plays nine holes. We usually have lunch together after too. Even if we play eighteen and have lunch, I should still be finished by three thirty. Is that too late?" "Bring your tennis racquets so we can practice. I've got to go. See you tomorrow." After we hung up, I went out in the kitchen and had a small bowl of ice cream. Bea was not in the kitchen, or the in library later, when I went looking for her there. I went up to my bedroom and went to sleep. She didn't sneak into my room that night either, but that wasn't unusual. I got a good night's rest. I woke up at seven, hungry. I showered and dressed, putting my tennis things all together so they'd be ready. When I went downstairs, Mr. Parsons was sitting in the dining room, having breakfast by himself. I decided to join him. Gerta came out with breakfast for me about ten minutes later. "Come sit up here, by me, Kenny. Since we're alone this morning, it is impolite for you to choose to sit so far away. What are your plans for today? I'm afraid Bertie isn't feeling up to the strains of golf today. I've actually been hoping that you'd come down before I needed to leave here. I want you to make a special effort this week with Bertie. I'm afraid she might be sinking back into one of her long funks. This isn't good for her. With everything that is happening right now, Bunny and I both need Bertie to be operating at her best. There is a tremendous amount riding on her being able to function normally over the next few months. This merger is bothering her more than I thought it would. To her, the company, and her late father, well, let's just say she feels a connection to him through the company. With the merger, she feels a little bit like she is losing him all over again. Try to cheer her up, get her to stop dwelling on all of the negatives she sees now in her mind." "Mr. Connor is worried about the merger too." "Walt Connor? And how do you come by this information?" "He told Brenda to ask me if I knew anything about a merger between your company and Consolidated Foods." "Listen to me very carefully Kenny. This is extremely important. I can't begin to stress how important it is. You are never to discuss anything regarding the company's business with anyone. Particularly anything about a merger. Do you know what the Securities and Exchange Commission is?" "No sir." "They are the government body that oversees stocks and bonds that are publicly traded. We, our company, is privately held, but Consolidated Foods is a publicly traded company. If any information were to get out, any information at all, and it were traced back to this house, there would be serious consequences. Not the least of these consequences is that the merger would probably not go through. If that happens, many people would have their lives and their future finances impacted, Do you see how important this is?" "Yes sir. I told Brenda I didn't know anything. I told her I would need to ask you, but she told me not to." "I'm very glad you spoke with me about this. If the rumors are already floating around, we need to speed up the merger. Are you seeing Brenda today?" "Yes sir, but I won't say anything. If Mrs. Parsons isn't going to be with me, is it all right if I ask Brenda to have lunch with me?" "Yes, by all means, do just that. That would be excellent in fact, but only if you remember not to discuss anything about the business. If you'll excuse me, I need to make a few quick phone calls from my study. I'm sorry Bertie won't be playing with you today, Kenny. Perhaps, when all of this merger pressure is over, the three of us can take a morning, and play another round together. Maybe Bunny can join us too. I'd like that." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 10 At ten o'clock I knocked on Mrs. Parsons door, wanting to tell her that I was leaving for my golf lesson. She didn't respond to me at all. I went downstairs, and found Hans in the kitchen with Gerta. I sat up front with Hans, in Mrs. Parsons car, for the trip over to the country club. I took my golf lesson, and we mostly worked on my mid irons. Dave kept trying to show me the difference between picking the ball cleanly from the rough, and hitting down on it from the fairway. I didn't get it, but after trying it each way, from each kind of lie, I had to agree that it worked better Dave's way. The last fifteen minutes, we walked out to the back of the practice range, and Dave showed me how to hit off of uneven lies. That was fun, but I sprayed balls all around. The fun part was hitting balls up towards the clubhouse. It was a very relaxed lesson. I noticed that Dave didn't bear down as much with me when Mrs. Parsons wasn't there, watching everything he did. His language was saltier too. He never swore when she was anywhere around. As soon as my lesson was over, I went to the pay telephone and called Brenda's house. That other lady answered again, but Brenda was still at home. I told her that Mrs. Parsons had something else to do, and wouldn't be golfing with me. I invited her to have lunch with me again in the club house restaurant. She told me to hang on, then went to ask her mother for permission. "Mother says she can have me there at twelve forty five, Kenny. Will that be okay?" "Perfect. I wanted to practice my putting for awhile anyway. Can you meet me over at the putting green? We can go to lunch from there." "Did you bring your racquets too? We need to practice for next week. I already signed us up for the mixed next Sunday." "You did?" "Well, I figured you'd want to play again. Did I do something wrong? You don't have to play. I just thought we'd better sign up before all of the places were filled." "I'll have to ask Mrs. Parsons. She normally plans out the schedule for me doing things. I don't think she'd like it much if I start telling her about plans I've already made. I'll ask her about it though, and let you know tonight, or maybe tomorrow. Is that okay?" "I guess. If you cancel out on me, I'll have to try to sign up all over again. They probably will already have the sixteen teams by then." "I think she'll let me play. She asked me last night if I enjoyed competing. She told me that she used to enjoy it." "Could you call her after we hang up? The sooner I know for sure, the better chance I'll have for trying to sign up with someone else." "No, she's too busy right now. I'll ask her at dinner tonight, then I'll phone you with the answer. I'll see you at the putting green, okay?" I was starting to get more experienced at putting, plus I'd kind of learned the slope and the speed of the different greens. I just practiced my distance control, and tried to lag to within two or three feet of the cup. I was putting with four balls at each hole, playing a game with myself about getting at least three balls within that three foot radius out from the cup. After I was getting ready to finish up, I saw Brenda coming, and put my putter and the balls back in my bag and carried it over to the pro shop to be put away. Brenda was wearing a pink tennis outfit. It looked a little funny, because of her hair color, but good funny, not just ha ha funny. She always looked pretty to me. I asked her if she wanted to go swimming after lunch, or if she wanted to go practice tennis first, and then we could go swimming. "Let's decide at lunch. It's going to be very warm today. Maybe we should practice, go swimming, then practice again after we finish swimming." "Whatever you want. Are you hungry? I'm going to get a steak sandwich, and an order of fried shrimp too. You can eat some of my shrimp if it makes me too full." Brenda smiled at me. She never said anything, but I could tell that me asking her to lunch again was a big thing to her. I was happy that I'd remembered to ask Mr. Parsons if it was all right for me to do. "I told my dad what you said." When she said that to me, my heart almost stopped beating. I had to fight off the urge to look around me in panic. I never thought she'd tell either parent about anything like that. "You're kidding?" "About you not knowing anything about the business. What did you think I meant? You didn't think I told him about that other thing. Oh my God, Kenny! If you knew my father, you'd know I'd never say anything like that to him." My heart was still beating fast, and I think I'd nearly broken skin on the palms of both hands when my fingernails dug in so deeply. "Well, I didn't know. I never had parents, remember? None that I can remember. What did he say?" "He just said that you probably had been told to not say anything anyway. He said it was just a shot. If I found out that you knew and didn't warn us, I'd be very upset with you. Daddy says we'd be ruined." "I asked Mr. Parsons. He said he doesn't discuss business with people who don't need to know. I think he meant for me to mind my own business." "If you do find out anything, will you promise to tell me?" "I can't Brenda. It would be like me asking you to tell me some secrets in your father's business. They wouldn't want me finding out or talking about their business in the first place, but if I did find anything out, it would be wrong for me to go out telling anyone." "It would be wrong for you to know something that was going to make my family poor, and then not even warn me. I thought we were friends?" "I'm sure Mr. Parsons wouldn't want to hurt your father. Not if he didn't have to. I thought they were friends." "Friends? You're kidding, right? My father is so afraid of Mr. Parsons, afraid of all three of them. Didn't you see how he acted around them? You can't possibly think that friends would act like that?" "See? That shows you that I don't know anything. To me, it seemed like all of them were friends. I know they do business together. Why do they do business if they aren't friends?" "Never mind! I want the shrimp again too. Ask him if they have any fresh blueberry pie too, hot, with vanilla ice cream on the side. Can you afford all that?" "I didn't ask Mr. Parsons about the cost. If it is too much, I still have money left over that he gave me before. I can pay it back to him. I don't think they care though. Mr. Chalmers said he had people that take care of all their bills and stuff. I don't think any of them even look at things like this." "I want to be mad at you, Kenny, but then you make it so hard to be mad when you let me boss you around like this. I know you don't like me acting like this, so why do you let me?" "Because I like you. I know you're worried. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, but I only know that Mr. Parsons seems to like your mother and father. I doubt he'd let them get hurt just to make a little more money. They already have a lot. I think your father is as wrong about this as he is about me being Mr. Chalmers real son." "I hope you're right. My mother told me what happens to your future prospects when all your money gets lost. People don't respect failure." We ordered our food. Brenda ate all of her own shrimp right away, and then was only toying with her French fries, waiting to see what I'd do with my order of shrimp. I had planned on waiting to offer her my shrimp until after I finished my steak sandwich. At first, I was planning to tease her, but instead, I just came right out and told her I wasn't going to be able to eat the shrimp too. She gave me a really big smile, then she ate the whole plate of shrimp. When she finished the last of the shrimp, she started eating some of the remaining orders of fries as well. She seemed a lot happier after eating all those shrimp. "I'm full Brenda, just from eating my sandwich, and then watching you eat all those shrimp. I'd love to see you order some of that ice cream and pie on top of all the shrimp and fries." "I could eat it, but I don't want to take advantage of you. Plus, we're supposed to practice after lunch. I need to be able to move around without getting sick in the heat. Can we come back after we practice and order our dessert then?" "Sure, we can come back. Maybe we can practice some, then swim to cool off, then come back and have some pie before going out to practice some more. It will make for a nice little rest break." "Kenny, in spite of what you say, you act just like you were rich. You don't seem to even care about money. My mom says that's how you know if someone is rich, because they don't act like they care what anything costs." "That's how poor people act too. We don't care what anything costs, because we already know, however much it costs, we can't afford any of it. Don't start thinking that I'm rich again, because I'm not. The Parsons, and Mr. Chalmers, so far, they let me have whatever I want, but none of this is really mine. It comes from my being their guest. I'm not complaining. It's better than I ever could have hoped for. It just isn't anything that I expect to last too long. I always do something to make people mad at me. Sometimes it's what I won't do that makes them mad." "I think you're rich, whether you admit to it or not. My mom has to drive me, and you have your own chauffeur. You get to sign for anything you want here at the club, but, sometimes, we have to stop coming here until my father gets caught up with his monthly expenses. This club is my mother's only extravagance. She has to fight every year to keep my father from selling off our membership." "Think what you want to. I know the truth. If you don't want dessert now, let's go over and practice tennis. You can go on ahead and see if there's a free court. I need to sign for lunch, and then go change into my tennis clothes." I stood up then, and the waiter came over with the lunch check. I looked at it, and it was thirty five dollars. I added a seven dollar tip, twenty per cent, like Mrs. Parsons had told me to do, and signed at the bottom. That was it. To me, it wasn't like it was really spending money. Forty two dollars for lunch. If we came back later and had dessert, I was going to pay cash for it. I wondered how much money Bea made working for Mrs. Parsons. I wondered if it was as much as I spent out there at the country club. Probably not. I changed into my tennis shorts, got my racquet bag, and headed over to the tennis courts. When I got there, Brenda was standing on the court we'd played our first match on the day before. I saw two other kids playing on one of the other hard courts, but I didn't recognize either of them. We wound up hitting the ball back and forth, with Brenda helping me learn how to anticipate faster, and move towards where the ball was going to be. It was warm out there, and we started playing a real game, keeping score. I was no match for Brenda, but I tried to keep her running for as long as I was able to. She was fast, and she seemed in a lot better shape than I was. When she moved on the court, it was as if she were gliding, rather than running. We were out there for over an hour, and I was so tired I wanted to lay down and rest, but I stuck with it. Finally, with the score 13-3, she asked if I needed to take a break. "Do you mean just a short breather, or can we go swimming now?" I was hoping she meant the latter. "We can quit and go swimming if you want to. Usually, I practice for another couple of hours, but it is warm out today, and I know you aren't used to this." While we had been out there, the other two boys had finished up and left. There wasn't anyone else there besides the two of us. "Who do you practice with for so long? I'm about to fall over and die just from what we did so far." "Usually, by myself. I hit off the wall, and do exercises to improve different parts of my game. I have a big bag of practice balls, so I practice hitting serves, and work on my ball placement. It is better when there is someone to practice with. Sometimes, I can pick up a game out here, but not too often when it's so hot." We went and changed for the pool. When I came out of the men's locker room, Brenda was standing there waiting for me. She had on a two piece suit, and it showed off her body more than her other suit had. It must have been a new suit, because the tan on her stomach was a lot lighter than on her arms or legs. When she turned, I noticed the same thing for the lower part of her back, where her old one piece suit had covered it. I wore the same suit I'd worn the other two times. It was the only one we had bought on our trip to Springfield. "I hope you aren't thinking that I'm going to let you corner me in the deep end like Claudia let Richard?" "No. I'd drown anyway. I can't swim at all. I stay in the shallow end. Up to my waist, but that's it." Inside the pool area, there were fewer kids than before. I looked all around, and then I noticed the black haired girl standing in the shallow end of the pool. She was looking right at me and smiling. I noticed Brenda had her own eyes following where I was looking. I stopped, but it was already too late. She had noticed the girl too. "That's Carol Peterson. Do you know her or something?" There was a slight edge to her words, like she was accusing me of something. "The girl in the bathing cap? Out in the middle of the pool? I don't know her, but I saw her here the last time. The time I came here looking for you." "She's a big tease. Half the boys here at the club have tried to get their hands inside her bathing suit. Even my creepy brother." "Like I said, I saw her here once before. She's too old for me anyway." "She just graduated. She used to date Clark Henderson, he's the quarterback from last year's team. He's got a football scholarship to a big school in California. There were rumors that she did more than tease him, but they broke up in the Spring anyway. Why does she keep looking at you?" "I think she's looking at you, not me. She probably is wondering if she should leave now, since she isn't the prettiest girl at the pool anymore, now that you're here." "Do you really think I'm prettier than Carol? I bet you're just saying that." "I think you are, and I bet you she thinks so too. You want me to go ask her if she thinks so?" "No, I certainly don't want you to do that. I don't believe you, but I'm going to pretend like I do. Let's sit down over there." She pointed out two lounge chairs way off to the side. We went over and spread our towels on the chairs. "Can I trust you to put some lotion on my back so I don't get too burned?" I'd never used tanning lotion, never needed to. I figured I knew how to do it though. I'd seen people doing it on the television. They rubbed some on their hands, and then rubbed it all over, wherever the other person didn't want to get burned. "Tell me if you start having those thoughts again, and we'll stop, okay?" She handed me the bottle and laid down on her stomach on the lounger. I sat down on the concrete beside her lounger, pouring some lotion into my hand. "Is it all right if I think about the clean stuff? Your hair, face and eyes?" I started rubbing her back from the top of her suit bottoms to the bottom of her bathing suit top. I tried to massage it into her, hoping to make it feel good for her. I put more lotion in my hands and started working on the tops of her shoulders. "Do the back of my legs too. You can knead my thighs too, they're a little bit sore from the tennis." We spent at least fifteen minutes like that, me running my hands all over her legs, back and shoulders. It was a good thing I was sitting down, hidden from anyone's view. My dick was poking hard against the left leg of my bathing suit, trying to break out of the bottom of my suit leg. Brenda had turned her head back towards the side where I was sitting. I heard her giggle. "Are you still thinking about my eyes, face and hair? It doesn't look like it." "Should I quit? I'm ready to jump in the pool and cool off." "She's still in the pool. Are you sure you want to cool off? Maybe you just want to show her something?" "I'm not even fifteen yet, I doubt she would even look at me. She has to be at least eighteen or nineteen." "You'd like her to though. You think she's pretty." "She's pretty. Do you want me to go talk to her? Are you sick of me already?" "She keeps looking at you and smiling. It's starting to creep me out. You don't know her, never spoke with her?" "No, but she did seem pretty friendly the last time I was here too. Maybe she's just a friendly person." "What do you mean by friendly? Did she talk to you?" "No, I've never heard her say even one word. Why are you getting mad at me?" "You came in here with me. She shouldn't be over there making eyes at you like that. Rub my legs some more. Make it look like you're feeling me up. Don't actually try to touch anything though. You can think about touching me there, but you better not really do it." I started massaging her upper thighs, going higher than I'd done before, but still careful to keep at least two inches away from her crotch. My thoughts were mostly on making sure I didn't have any accidents. I didn't want to touch her crotch by mistake, and I didn't want to cum in my suit, not from just thinking about her pussy being so close to my fingertips. I wondered if her pussy hair was like the hair on her head. I hoped it was the same shade of copper. This time, I really did start wondering what her pussy would taste like. I wasn't paying any attention to anything else, just Brenda's upper thighs. "That's enough, Kenny, you can stop now. She's finally left. I thought she was just going to stay there and watch us the rest of the day. Stop touching me, now!" I pulled my hands off of her thighs, carefully placing them back over my lap. I looked all over for the black haired girl, but she was nowhere in sight. My dick was painfully hard. I looked around to make sure no one was paying any attention to me. When I was satisfied that no one was looking at me, I stood up, grabbing my towel. I walked over to the pool with my towel bunched up and held in front of my suit. When I got close to the water, I threw the towel down and jumped in the pool. The water was less than four feet deep where I jumped in, and it hurt both my feet when I reached the bottom so fast. I had learned another painful lesson. Next time, I'd sit down, hanging my feet in the pool, then I'd just drop the towel, and slide in. After about two minutes, my hard on started to recede. That's also the time that Brenda picked to come into the water. "Feel better now? Did you stop thinking all those nasty thoughts? I could feel your hands getting closer and closer to me. I almost made you stop, but I didn't want to give Carol the satisfaction. At least my idea made her stop smiling at you. The funny part was that your hands were scaring me more at the end. More than Carol looking at you with that smile of hers was making me mad. I kept worrying that you were going to reach up higher and touch me there. I'm happy you didn't do that. Someone like my brother would have done it. In spite of my being so worried, it was worth it. Mostly just to see the look on Carol's face when she realized you weren't paying her any attention at all." "I forgot she was there, or the reason why you wanted me to touch your thighs like that. I'm glad you stopped me when you did." "Why are you glad?" "Because I was starting to have those thoughts again. The bad ones. This time they were even worse." "How worse? What did you think?" "I'm not saying. You'd run away from me if I told you." "I might run if you don't tell me." "Doesn't matter. If I tell you, you definitely will run. I'm embarrassed just to have those kind of thoughts about a nice girl like you." "You can't just stop there, not telling me. It couldn't get much worse than wanting to taste me down there. Please tell me." "Yes it could. It could get a lot worse. I think we should quit talking about it." I was just having some fun with her. She thought she was teasing me, but I just kept going beyond where she took things. "Were you thinking about putting your thing in me?" She said it very quietly, looking all around before she even dared ask me the question. She had lifted her arm and moved it on top of her bare midriff, kind of protectively, as if she expected me to attack her stomach. My experience with Bea, and all the signs that she had taught me, told me that Brenda was really starting to get worried about my plans for her. "That's a part of it, but only a small part. Look Brenda, maybe it would be better if you went to go practice tennis by yourself for awhile. The way I'm thinking, I'm just not sure you can trust me right now. I wouldn't want the temptation of having you so close to me, not with me thinking this way. As soon as I feel like I'm back in better control of myself, I'll come to the courts and find you." "I don't think I want to practice any more today, Kenny. I'm think I'm just going to call my mom and tell her it's too hot to practice right now. You stay right here, in the pool until I'm gone, okay? Call me tonight though, after dinner. Stop thinking those thoughts too. Are you going to do that thing again?" "I'm going to have to now. Usually I can wait a lot longer, but not after what we did today." "We didn't do anything. Don't you say we did either. I let you put sun tan oil on my back and my legs, that's all. I'm leaving now. Call me tonight, don't forget. Do that thing you do, before you call me. I don't want you still thinking that way when you're talking to me." Brenda made an exit out of the pool. She went and got her towel, and tied it around her so that it covered her from above the breasts, to below the crotch. She grabbed her tennis things and left. It was probably mean of me to say those things to her, but she had asked for it by the way she had treated me when the black haired girl was in the pool. Fifteen minutes after Brenda had left, I finally decided enough time had passed for me to get out of the water myself. I grabbed my towel from where I'd left it, and made my way to the shallowest part of the pool. I climbed out, and turned to where my lounge chair was. Laying in the place where Brenda had been was Carol Peterson. The smile was back on her face, and she held her own bottle of tanning oil in her hands so I could see it. I hurried to put the towel back in front of my crotch again. I looked all around me, but Brenda wasn't anywhere in view. I headed for the gate that separated the pool area from the cart path that ran up to the clubhouse. I didn't look back to see what Carol might be doing. I had enough worries already, about what I'd been doing with Brenda. The last thing I needed was to let this other girl make me do something stupid that could come back and make me look bad with the Parsons. I was thinking about being caught doing something like Richard and Claudia had been caught doing. I didn't want my privileges suspended for the summer too. Part of the problem I was having also had to do with what Bea had told me. About all girls experiencing, and then experimenting with "the power". I knew about "the power". I knew that it worked both ways too. I had spent the past eleven years rebelling against a different form of "the power". It didn't necessarily need to have anything to do with sex. It always had to do with control. Sometimes, sex was the way "the power" was used, but it didn't have to be sex like Bea seemed to think. I'd already had some small experience with using it myself, and much more experience with having it used against me. Everywhere I looked, people were trying to control other people. They used money, threats of punishment and loss of privileges, sex and other punishments and rewards, but it was still all about control. The black haired girl was using sex, at least letting me see her body, as a way to get my attention, and to amuse herself. Bea was no different. She wanted me to believe that she was doing me a big favor, but I knew there was a reason why she had decided to teach me things. That was why I wasn't that concerned about her staying mad at me. After I called the house, and told Hans I was ready to be picked up, I began thinking about Mrs. Parsons. I started wondering if she used her being depressed, and being unavailable at times, as part of her method of controlling people. If she did use that, then Mr. Parsons was right about her, and Mr. Chalmers was wrong. If she was able to control it herself, than it was only a tool she used to control everyone. It seemed to me that she almost always seemed to pick times, times when she was mad at what someone else was doing, for her to disappear from view for a whole day or more. I still remembered that day when she took me shopping in Springfield. She had gotten better in a real hurry that day. That had to argue in favor of her having the ability to turn it on and off at will. I started making plans for finding ways to test this theory out for myself. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 11 After I returned home, I checked in with Gerta to see whether Mrs. Parsons had eaten anything or not. She hadn't. According to Gerta, her last bite of food, or drink of any liquid refreshment, had been the evening before. When I came back out from the kitchen, Bea was scurrying away from the door separating the dining room from the kitchen. "Hi Bea, don't tell me you're still mad at me?" She continued moving away from me. "I guess you don't want to hear about what happened at the pool today then. That same black haired girl was there again. She made Brenda jealous by standing in the pool and smiling at me. I found out her name, and, after Brenda left, she wanted me to put sun tanning oil on her." Bea disappeared into the library. I knew she wanted me to follow her in there, to continue telling her my story. If she hadn't wanted that, she would have gone into her own room instead. I turned away from the library and climbed the stairs, heading to my own room. I was in my bathroom, taking a shower, when Bea came into my bedroom looking for me. I heard her voice calling my name from just outside the bathroom door. I had locked the door when I came in the bathroom, not sure whether I wanted to relieve myself of the pressure that my pool experience with Brenda had caused. Hearing Bea whispering my name from just outside my bathroom door, added a whole new set of options for me. I opened the shower door, leaning over as far as I could manage, in an attempt to try to unlock it without getting out. I finally had to admit that I couldn't reach that far, getting all the way out of the shower, before opening the bathroom door. I knew I'd have to use my bath towel after I'd dried myself off, to wipe up all the wetness I was dripping on the bathroom floor. Bea stared at me, as I just stood there, dripping wet, my cock unfurled, and at full attention. She tried not to let her eyes drift down from my face, but she wasn't successful in maintaining eye contact. "Gerta wanted you to know that dinner is at seven tonight, but it will just be the two of us, so we don't have to get all dolled up." "Thank you, Bea. I'll make sure to be there on time. It was nice of you to come up here just to tell me that." "I'm still not over being mad at you from last night, Kenny. You're just lucky there isn't anyone else here for me to talk with." "If I let you have your way with me, will we be all even again?" I smiled at her, watching as she looked at my dick which I was trying to make bob up and down by using my stomach muscles. "Stop doing that, it distracts me. And, no, it wouldn't make us even. How could me doing you a favor make us even for what you did last night?" I could tell that she had already decided to forgive me. She had pretty much admitted that already, just by coming into my bedroom, calling out to me, but only after she knew I was in the shower already. "Bea, I won't be controlled, not by you, and not by anybody else. If you keep trying to control me, using "the power", we're always going to have these difficulties. I'd like us to be friends, but friends who can agree to be equals. Don't try to take advantage." "That's all I've tried to be with you. You're the one who wasn't being friendly." "I need to finish showering, Bea. I'm sorry that you and I can't seem to agree on what is happening here." I shut the door and walked back into the shower stall. I half expected her to open the door back up to continue the argument. I had meant what I'd just said about her and I being friends. I already had enough people wanting to try to control me. I didn't need or want that from my friends. When I came out of the bathroom, Bea was gone. I got dressed, and then started reading on my bed. There was still over half an hour before dinner. At six fifty, I went to Mrs. Parsons door and knocked on it. "Mrs. Parsons, please dress for dinner. Quite a lot is happening, and I need to ask your advice about a few things." I didn't wait to see if she would make an answer to my request. I didn't want to argue about whether she should come down to dinner, I wanted her to know that I wanted to consult with her about my problems. It was part of my theory concerning her depression, and the long periods of time when she would remain secluded from everyone. It was about seven fifteen when Mrs. Parsons joined us for dinner. Bea and I were both wearing casual clothing. Mrs. Parsons wore a robe, her hair was unkempt, and she smelled, faintly, of alcohol. When she spoke, any doubts I might have entertained about her drinking were quickly vanquished. "Forgive my appearance, Kenny. Tell me what you need from me." I noticed the redness of her eyes, and the uneven tone of her complexion. She looked older, unrested, and very vulnerable. I felt bad about forcing her to reveal this part of her condition to me. I could see that she was none too happy to be placed in this position by me either. I had, put simply, played on her sense of duty to me. I did it to advance the cause of my own curiosity, for purely selfish reasons. I had compelled her to put herself on display. I knew that none of what I had to tell her, or to ask her, would be of sufficient merit to justify what I was putting her through. "Are you beginning to feel better? I don't think my golfing has been improving much while you've been ill. There is no substitute for competition, plus I miss having you to accompany me during my lesson. I think Dave is more thorough if you're there to watch and listen. I also need your advice on some personal matters, matters which I'd prefer to discuss privately with you. A situation has come up that I'm at a loss to know how to deal with. It involves two girls, and I'm not sure I'm understanding what I need to understand." "Kenny, please excuse me again. I really need to go freshen up. I'll think about what you said about the golfing. I never cared to play alone either. Dave is an excellent golf teacher. I'm certain that he is doing exactly what needs doing. As to advising you on those personal matters, I'm afraid I'm ill equipped to offer any true advice. I've been somewhat sheltered in that sense. What I can do is listen while you tell me about what is happening to you. The key to a good solution often lies in seeing the problem clearly. My Daddy always said that. He meant that it usually helps to talk the problem out, then examine it from all angles. Please excuse me, I'll meet you in the library in one hour. Is that satisfactory?" "Yes Ma'am. I really appreciate you taking an interest like this. I hated to disturb you when you weren't feeling well." "Kenny, your well being is my first concern. I'm happy that you thought enough of my advice to come to me and ask for it. I'll do my best not to disappoint you." When she got up, I stood up as well. I'd noticed Mr. Parsons always did this at the dinner table, whenever any lady stood up, even Bea. I thought it looked like a very polite thing to do. I hoped that Mrs. Parsons really meant what she said about not being mad at me for bothering her this way. The thing was, curious or not, selfish or not, I really did value Mrs. Parsons for many things. I had a strange kind of trust that I placed in her. I don't know how to describe it, because I'd never really trusted anyone other than myself before. I believed that, when it came to me, Mrs. Parsons placed my interests and well being above her own. As soon as Mrs. Parsons had gone up the stairs and back into her room, Bea started in on me. "You've done it now, kid. Now that she knows you've seen her drinking, she won't make any more effort to keep it covered up. You just made a whole lot more work for all the rest of us. Since you've come here, she's been trying to hide it. She's even been cutting back some. With the cat out of the bag, things will just go back to how they were before you got here." The whole time Bea was talking to me, Gerta was standing right beside her, nodding her head in agreement with everything Bea said. "You're wrong, Bea. Wait and see. I'm going to help her to not drink so much. I've seen her go several days without drinking anything. I never even knew she drank. Mr. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers both called it depression." "It is depression. She drinks to make it less painful to her. Before, when she was so young, when she didn't drink, it was a lot worse. She would spend whole weeks at a time, not eating, and all alone, crying constantly in her room. It broke everyone's heart to see her that way." Gerta was wringing her hands, looking at the top of the staircase while she spoke to me. "Gerta, just give it a chance. The more she tries to do, the easier it will be. She came downstairs when I needed her to. In an hour, she'll be in the library, and she'll look like her normal self. It was my fault for making her think I needed her right away. I should have given her enough time to pull herself together. Can you make something she really likes to eat, and have it ready in case I can convince her to eat something? When did she start drinking a lot?" "The bad drinking for only ten years. It was right after her papa died. She was so close to him, but after he died, her husband started being mean with what he said to her. Before, when old Mr. Chalmers was alive, Mr. Parsons never spoke to her that way. Suddenly, after the old man died, nothing she tried to do was ever good enough for him. That's when she started the bad drinking. I can make her a sausage sandwich. Hans ground the meat, and filled the skins fresh today. It has always been a favorite of hers." I got up from the dining table and went into the living room to phone Brenda. Richard answered the phone and was being obnoxious to me, making threats to convince me that I'd be better off leaving Brenda alone. I asked him how Claudia was, after he he had paused just long enough to take a breath before continuing with his threats and warnings. After I asked him that, he put the phone down hard, making a noise that hurt my ear for a few seconds. Ten seconds later, Brenda came on the line. "What did you do to make Richard so mad?" "I asked him for Claudia's phone number." There was a pause of another few seconds. I knew she hadn't hung up the phone, but I would have bet that she was entertaining the idea. "What did you really say to him?" "He was warning me about what he was going to do if I kept calling you and seeing you at the club. I just asked him how Claudia was." Brenda laughed. "He's still mad about being suspended from the club. All his friends are from there, and now he has no social life at all. He spends all of his time sitting around the house, watching cartoons on television, and crying because football season hasn't begun yet. What happened after I left? Did you stay in the pool for much longer?" "Only for another fifteen minutes. When I got out, that girl had taken your lounge chair. She was waving a bottle of sun tanning oil at me. I think she wanted me to help her spread it on her." "What happened then? Did you help her?" "No. You're the only girl I touch like that. Why would I want to touch her? I think she was just trying to make you mad." "How do I know if you're telling me the truth? You could be making it all up." "I suppose I could be, but I'm not. It would be too easy for you to check with some of your friends at the pool. You could even ask Carol if you wanted to. The truth is that I might have been tempted, but I wasn't. I think it was because I'm starting to really like you." "Did you take care of that other thing before you called me tonight?" "I couldn't, I've been too busy ever since I got home. I haven't even had a chance to speak with Mrs. Parsons about the Sunday tennis tourney yet." "After what you said in the pool, I'm not sure I want to partner with you anymore." "That's okay, Brenda. I don't really blame you. If you want, I'll leave you completely alone from now on." "I just said I'm not sure. Why do you always have to take whatever I say so seriously? When I'm sure, I'll tell you. Until then, you still need to ask her about it." "Are you just playing with me then, Brenda? I'm not sure that I appreciate that. I try to be honest with you. At least, I say what I mean." "I told you that I'm not sure yet. How is me being unsure the same as playing with you?" "Okay. I understand. I've got to go now. Call me then, and let me know what you've decided." "Don't hang up, Kenny. I wish you were more like all the other boys. I don't know what it is about you, but somehow, you always manage to make it seem like I'm the one that's doing something wrong. I don't like always feeling that way." "You won't have to anymore, Brenda. As soon as we hang up, we never have to speak to each other again." "I don't know how we got to here, from me telling you hello not five minutes ago. Did you just call me to try and pick a fight?" "No, and I don't want to fight. I already told you that I usually manage to do something wrong to make everybody mad at me. You're mad at me now, for what I said to you today in the pool." "But I'm not really mad at you. It just makes me nervous because you always say things like that. Nobody else has ever said anything like that to me before. Part of me really likes being around you, but part of me is afraid of you too." "That isn't the only thing that's going on. You seem to always try to see if you can make me do whatever you decide you want. People have been trying that with me all of my life, and I never liked it. Before, there wasn't much I could do except try to resist them. Lately, I've started making an effort to push those kinds of people away from me. I don't want to associate with people who are like that." "If you had told me that right from the beginning, so that I had some warning, I would have treated you differently. My mother taught me how to behave with boys. I told her that you were different, but she said all boys and men are almost exactly the same." "Right now, the way we're both treating each other, it isn't good for us to try to be friends. Part of it is my fault, and part of it is yours. I know I can't always treat people the same way I have been used to. I'm trying to make some changes, but I don't have any experience with girls, or with having real honest feelings for people. I liked you right from the first, but I can't let you treat me like you have been. I really do need to go. Mrs. Parsons is coming downstairs soon to speak with me. I have a lot of questions about many of the things I don't understand. I'm sorry that we had to keep fighting like this. Good night." After I had hung up the phone, I took a social inventory. The total in the friends column was pretty low. I trusted very few people, really only one person completely, me. I wanted to try to learn how to trust. Before, not trusting hadn't caused me that many problems. Now, it was. I was going to try to work out a relationship with Mrs. Parsons. Hopefully, if that worked well, I could begin to branch out to other people. In the month that I'd been away from the orphanage, I'd taken many false steps, trying to find some way to live in a non orphanage environment. It was difficult to let go of the adaptive skills I'd learned in the institution, because they were all I'd ever had to go by. They hadn't been perfect for me, even in that environment, and they weren't going to work at all here, not if I was to really develop myself in the world I now found myself a part of. It had been my armor, my protective shield. Now, I had to let it all go, leaving myself vulnerable in this totally alien situation. I simply had to do it, if I were going to make an effort to honestly try to fit in. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 12 I went into the library, as soon as I got off of the phone with Brenda. I waited for Mrs. Parsons to come back downstairs like she had promised she would. My thoughts were centered not so much on the questions I wanted to ask her, but on the more general idea of me finding a way to fit in. I hadn't fit in very well at the orphanage. The sisters had told me many times that it was because I refused to make any attempt to. They were right. I hadn't wanted to fit in there. Here, it was an entirely different story I recognized enough to understand that it was as much a case of me pulling away from them as it was them not being a good fit for me. I had always assumed that I couldn't let any part of my shield down with the sisters, else they would take advantage of it. All of the nuns had a greater loyalty to their religion than they did to any of the kids at the orphanage. If you let yourself have any kind of feelings for them, they'd use those feelings against you, trying to get you to swallow their religious beliefs. When Mrs. Parsons walked into the library, I stood up for her again. She had taken longer than the hour she'd said, but she looked much more like her normal self again. Her hair was all in place now, and she had put on some makeup to make her skin color look healthier. She closed the library door behind her, insuring that we would have some privacy for our talk. "Kenny, before we begin discussing those matters you earlier spoke of, I believe I should apologize again for appearing at the dinner table in such a state of disarray. Your summons caught me off guard, and I was totally unprepared. I have known, for some time now, that I wouldn't be able to keep you from an awareness of my use of alcohol. Certainly not entirely, as evidenced by what has occurred tonight. Even though it was obvious that I'd been drinking, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about it. I get my melancholia first, and it's only after I'm indisposed by that condition, that I find it helpful for me to drink. I do it as a form of self medication, to lessen the feelings of dark despair that I suffer from. The drinking helps me to sleep, something I find very difficult to do when suffering from this condition. It also seems to cut down on the length and severity of my melancholia." "I don't think you owe me an apology, Mrs. Parsons. I owe you one for bothering you when I knew you weren't feeling good. It was just that I have this problem. I said it was with these two girls, but now I think it is really just the same problem I have with everybody. I don't trust anyone." "I understand. If it helps any, most of us have the same problem to a greater or lesser degree. Trust becomes difficult when it has been repeatedly betrayed. Was your trust betrayed, Kenny?" "I've never had any trust. I don't know why. Maybe it was just the orphanage, but I learned at a very young age not to trust anyone except myself. I grew up expecting people to try to force me to do what they wanted. They didn't care about what I wanted." "Don't you accept that they were acting in what they believed was your best interest?" "No, because I'd tell them what I wanted, but they kept telling me I had to do what they wanted. They said that God wanted it that way." "There are rules that we all try to live by, Kenny. Some are established through religious beliefs, some from government edict, but most are compromises that society has ordained, to ensure levels of acceptable conduct, in order to provide for a fair and safe living environment for all of us." "I know most of those rules, but that isn't what I meant. Part of it was the religious stuff, but a lot of it was just them wanting me to obey their orders without question, blindly. They wanted me to admit that they had the right to control my thoughts as well as the things I wanted. I don't like being controlled by other people." "Give me an example." "Spending two hours everyday studying religion with the sisters in the school, instead of spending that time learning real subjects." "Religion is a very real subject to the nuns, Kenny. It is the foundation of their life's calling." "Yes, and I don't mind them studying it. I didn't want them to make me study it, but they did anyway." "They were attempting to teach you an understanding of a moral code, one that you could use to build a good life for yourself. For many years, the only education most people received was through the Church." "I sat there and listened, at least at first I would, but, after awhile, I already knew what they were teaching us. It was always the same message. God came first, and then the priests and the nuns, then any other adults, and we came last. I didn't want to always come last, and I didn't want to have to keep dealing with people who believed that was how it was supposed to be." "Do you feel that you are last here, Kenny?" "No. In a way, that's what is causing me such a big problem. I'd worked out a way to deal with the orphanage. It wasn't perfect, but it worked all right for me. Since I've been here, you've all treated me really good, better than I deserve. I'm always afraid now, afraid that someone is going to figure out that I don't deserve any of this, and they'll take it all away. I'll have to go back then, back to things being the way I was used to. When you've never had anything, you don't worry about losing it." "Why do you think that? Has anyone here ever said anything like that to you? The decision on whether you stay or leave rests solely with Bunny and me, Kenny. I know that when Bunny brought you here, it was to try to give me something to look forward to. An interest to keep me from dwelling overmuch on my emotional condition. Thomas might not understand me, but Bunny always has. He knew that I needed someone to care about, especially now that it appears that I'm to be divorced soon. In picking you, I think Bunny made a really good choice, for the both of us. I can help you, Kenny, help to make your life better, more enriched. Your being here with me, helps me, it enriches my life as well. You will always have a home here with me, Kenny, as long as you choose to stay." It was difficult for me to swallow after she said that. There was a lump in my throat at least as big as a golf ball. I had a home! She didn't qualify her words in any way. There wasn't a long list of rules I had to obey in order to keep on living there. I didn't have to earn it, she had simply given it to me. I wanted to jump up and hug her, thanking her over and over again for accepting me like she had. Instead, I sat in my chair, unable to muster up the words to express the overwhelming gratitude I felt. I couldn't even keep looking at her, because my eyes were tearing up, and I didn't want her to see me crying. I looked down at my hands in my lap, silent, but still shouting a thousand thank yous out into heaven, or wherever it was that the nuns told us kids that our prayers always went. I finally managed to get my emotions back under control. I wiped my eyes with my hands and took a deep breath. "Thank you. I've never had a home before, only a place to stay." When I looked up at her, she was crying too. "There's something else I need to explain to you. I don't know how to act around people I care about. I've never needed to learn that, except maybe with Marie. I need for someone to show me how to do that. Especially around you, Mr. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers. I get along all right with Hans and Gerta, but I have problems sometimes not knowing how to act around any girls, even Bea. I keep messing things up by the things I say to Brenda and Bea. It's mostly this problem I have with thinking everyone is out to control me." "Kenny, there are different types of controlling. One type is simply guidance. If Hans gave you directions on getting to your new school, he wouldn't be controlling you, simply offering guidance on the best way to go. Guidance is a form of control, as is suggestion and advice. If I asked you to go in the kitchen to inform Gerta that I wish to dine at seven thirty, is that controlling you?" "Not unless I told you I didn't want to go. If you insisted after, telling me I won't get any dinner if I don't do it, that would be you controlling me." "Suppose, after your school year begins, I tell you to complete your homework before watching any television? Suppose also that you have a program that is on that at that time, a program you want badly to view. What would you do in that case?" "If it was your rule, I'd follow it. If it were a special television program, or one I was watching as part of my school studies, I'd tell you about that and ask you to make an exception." "And, if I still refused to make that exception for you?" "I'd go finish my homework. I might still resent it, even though I had followed your rules." "I'm afraid you're really talking about a contest of wills, rather than control issues. I too am willful, as is Bunny. Thomas has become increasingly willful as well. He came to it right after Daddy died. This was the first time he was able to assert himself with both Bunny and me. Neither of us possessed any of his skills and experience for managing the company. He used that situation to force us to bend to his wishes. He continues to do that to this day. One such exercise of that bending is the current proposed merger. Bunny and I never wanted to sell the company, it was all Thomas." "Mr. Chalmers said it was necessary, for competitive reasons. He said it was too difficult for a weak company to survive. He also told me that Mr. Parsons had done a terrific job with managing the company." "Because he listens to what Thomas reports to him. My father never ran into any difficulties he couldn't handle, not while he lived and managed the company." "Mr. Parsons works awfully hard. I'm sure he does the best he can." "I'm sure he does. The best that he can for himself. After the merger, Thomas will be a very wealthy man. Every year since daddy died, we've had to cede a small percentage of our ownership interest to him, as payment for his services to the company. He will cash out his ownership position with the merger, in addition to remaining in control of my father's company. That is the real reason for this merger." "Is that the reason why you oppose it?" "I've never opposed it. I might have my own ideas about the real reasons for it, but I can't deny that Thomas has negotiated a handsome price for the company. I'm sad that forty years of having the company within the family is coming to an end. If Thomas and I had our own children, then I would have been opposed. As it is, we all have only Thomas to turn to for management of our business interests. Without him, who knows what would happen to all those hundreds of people that depend on us for their livelihoods? Now, even if something happens to Thomas, the company will be able to carry on." "Why are you divorcing him?" "He doesn't love me. He never has. The situation with Beatrice was the final insult to me. A man doesn't comport himself like that, certainly not in his own home, and not under the same roof he shares with his wife." "I don't know anything about that. I know he always worries about you, and he asked me to try to help you feel better when he is gone. He even said he wants all of us to play golf together again, after the merger." "He said after the merger? Are you sure he said after?" "I'm sure. He said he was looking forward to it. He also said he was very fond of you." "He didn't! Don't go making things up just to try to make me feel better." "Those were his exact words, "I'm very fond of Bertie". It was while the two of you were fighting too." "It sounds to me like you talk with him more than I do. He spends all of his time here working in the study. I hardly see him." "As soon as you left the table on Sunday, he went back into his study, not even one minute later. He tried talking to you at dinner, but you kept getting mad at him. He talked about wanting to play tennis with you again. It was you that turned the conversation to the merger. It sounded like you were accusing him of being happy that your father died, even after he said he missed him." "He changed when Daddy died, changed in the way he treated me. It seemed like he was just waiting, so that he could take over the company." "He sounded to me like he got along real good with your father." "Oh, he did. They were perfectly suited to each other. They had the business in common, a shared interest that Bunny and I could never compete with. Daddy treated Thomas like his own son. He wouldn't have liked seeing how things turned out after he died." "I think we both have problems with trusting people. I need you to tell me what to do with Brenda. She keeps trying to use "the power" on me." "What power, Kenny?" "You know, "the power". She uses the fact that I like her to try to get me to do what she wants me to do." "Are you referring to her using her feminine wiles to bend you to her wishes? Is this the power you are referring to?" "She talks about things, then when I start talking about them too, she pretends to be angry with me, or else afraid of me." "I'll need an example." "Bea can explain it a lot better than I can. She's the one who told me about "the power". Bea thinks its only about sex, but she's wrong. I think 'the power" is anything that you have that someone else wants. Sex is almost all that Bea has to use." "You're too young to already be aware of these things, but you are right. Bea has shown a willingness to use her power too. We all use something to get our way." "Do you use your illness that way, as your "power"?" Mrs. Parsons stared at me. She almost said something, two or three times, but each time, she stopped before she spoke. "What an extraordinary question, Kenny. It is a question that deserves an answer. Yes, I suppose I do use it that way. But, not often, and usually, when I have no other means to get my wishes granted. I don't have Bea's feminine advantages, so I am reduced to using what I do have. I don't know if my answer satisfies you, but it is as honest as I can make it." I was thinking of another question to ask when there was a knock at the library door. I got up from my chair and answered it. It was Gerta with two sausage sandwiches. There was a glass of milk for me, and a beer in a glass for Mrs. Parsons. The sausages were hot, giving off steam, and they had been sliced lengthwise to fit on the bread. there were two pickle slices on each plate, and a side order of sauerkraut alongside each sandwich. It smelled really good. I took the tray from a smiling Gerta, and then closed the library door. I noticed Bea back in the living room, looking over at Gerta and I. I smiled at her while I thanked Gerta for the sandwiches and drinks. "Gerta is using her power with food to try to make us both eat something. It's going to work with me." "Are those sausage sandwiches? I love sauerkraut and sausage. Look, she even sent me a glass of beer to wash it all down with. I'm getting my appetite back just from the smells. I guess that means that Gerta's power works with me too." We each sat in our chairs, Mrs. Parsons had her plate balanced in her lap, the beer glass on the table next to her chair. I had the serving tray in my lap, being careful not to spill my milk. We ate together, even though I'd finished having my own dinner an hour and a half before. The sandwich was very good, but I didn't care that much for my sauerkraut. I did like the pickles, even though they were very sour. When I was finished, I got up to put my tray over on another chair, figuring I'd take everything back to the kitchen when Mrs. Parsons was finished eating. "Kenny, why didn't you eat the kraut? It's really good when you spread it on the sandwich." "I didn't care for it. I'll eat it though, if you want me to?" "No, you had your chance. Bring it over here and I'll eat it. Gerta would have both our heads if we left any sauerkraut on our plates. She claims it was her ancestors who invented the recipe for the original sauerkraut." I went to retrieve my plate and brought it to her. It took her about five times as long as it had taken me, but she finished everything on her plate, plus my leftover sauerkraut. It was the most I'd ever seen her manage to eat at one sitting. So far, getting her to play golf again, and getting her to eat more often, were the only two things I could point to as improvements that I'd helped her with. "Mrs. Parsons, do you feel better because you ate something, or did you only eat because you felt better?" "A little of both, plus, I know that Gerta must have gone to a lot of bother to create one of my all time favorites in order to tempt me into eating. With her going to all that trouble for me, I felt an obligation." "Is that the same reason you came down to dinner when I asked?" "No, Kenny, not exactly the same. Knowing that you were troubled by something, and having you say that you needed me, this was something I couldn't refuse to attend to. There is a strong connection I feel with you. I've remarked on it to both Thomas and Bunny. I can only imagine that it is similar to the bond any mother feels with her child. Although it is still early in our relationship, I already feel this strong connection." I had already known, from Mr. Chalmers, that Mrs. Parsons had wanted children. He told me that she had been denied them because Mr. Parsons feared her mental condition would make her unsuited to raise children. I thought he had meant that I would serve as a substitute to her, not that she would regard me as her child. I thought we would both pretend some of the time, so she would have an idea of what it might have been like. What she had said, while it raised my hopes, it also caused me deep concern. People who had kids were given the near absolute authority to control them. I had done quite a bit to see that no one got to be in a position of such absolute authority over me. I was aware that this was a giant trust issue that I had. I needed to think about what she said, to try and decide if I was willing to place that much trust in a person. I wanted to be able to trust her that way. I just didn't know whether I'd be able to do it. We both stood up at the same time. I went to her and hugged her. I went to her. She didn't know it, but this was something I'd never done with anyone else, at least, not that I remembered. I took her plate and glass and put them on the tray with mine. I thanked her for taking the trouble to speak with me, wished her a good night, and went out of the library, carrying the tray with me. I felt very good about our talk. I was starting to feel more comfortable with Mrs. Parsons, with the idea of belonging with the family living here. To me, this included Hans and Gerta as well as Bea. Mr. Chalmers and Mr. Parsons were included too, although neither actually lived there full time. After Gerta made sure that Mrs. Parsons didn't need anything else, she came back to the kitchen and questioned me about what Mrs. Parsons had eaten. When I finished telling her, she didn't believe me. I was quickly discovering that everyone I knew had problems trusting other people. Maybe there was some hope for me yet. Bea came into the kitchen while Gerta and I were talking. She sat down across from where I was sitting, listening to what I was telling Gerta. While Gerta was concerned about what Mrs. Parsons had to eat, Bea wanted me to tell her what Mrs. Parsons had to say about her drinking. I ignored her question as long as I could. After the fourth or fifth time she asked me, I told her to ask Mrs. Parsons herself. All that got me was a dirty look from Bea. "You know, kid, with this attitude of yours towards everything I say, it doesn't look to me like we'll be bumping bellies for a long time. In fact, right now, I think I'd be worrying about making other arrangements as far as any continuation of your sex education, if I was you." "I might just do that. I might start locking my door when I go to sleep at night too. Just in case there's any sleepwalkers living here." "Don't do it on my account, Kenny. I just crossed your address off of my list of places to visit." "That's good then. Now, maybe, I'll get a chance to sleep all the way through the night. You better lock your door though Gerta. I heard Bea say that she finds good looking older women like you, very exciting." Gerta started laughing so hard, she started choking. Bea's face got red, and she got up and left. I knew that Bea couldn't stay away for that long. Sooner or later she was going to get bored, and try to see what I would tell her while she was sucking my dick. Now that I was showing some ability to resist "the power", that just made her want to try that much harder. I wondered if that had happened with Mr. Parsons. I had a hard time picturing him doing the things with Bea that I had done. I thanked Gerta for fixing such a good sandwich for Mrs. Parsons, telling her that Mrs. Parsons was aware of how well she tried taking care of her. Gerta said something in German to me, but I didn't understand the words. From the tone of her voice when she said it, I'd be surprised if it didn't mean that she loved Mrs. Parsons. She didn't have to tell me that. I had seen all the evidence of her love and concern for a month. When I got up to my room, I had a hard time deciding whether I should lock my bedroom door or not. I decided not to lock it, but I put a book leaning against it so that I'd know if anyone opened up my door during the night. When I slept, my dreams were of Brenda. In one of them, she let me lick the shrimp sauce off of her neck. It turned out that she had dripped sauce even lower than that, but I woke up before I could start to lick my way down to it. I woke up because Bea was sucking me. I told her about the black haired girl, but I made up a bunch of sex stuff that had never happened. After I was finished, Bea had me suck on her pussy for about an hour. When I was finished, she got up and put her robe back on. It was one of the few times she didn't want me to fuck her. I was pretty sure that Bea had known that I was lying to her about that girl. I don't think it made any difference to her whether I was or I wasn't. She had proved something to herself when I didn't have my door locked. I was sure that was at least fifty per cent of the reason she had come up to my room. I fell asleep again, glad that I'd decided on not locking the door. I woke up with a terrible taste in my mouth. I think it was a combination of the sausages and Bea's pussy. I knew I should have washed my face and rinsed out my mouth after she left, but I hadn't done it. Both had tasted a lot better the first time I'd eaten them. I had gotten up at eight, had showered and dressed, getting downstairs for breakfast just a little bit before nine o'clock. What took me so long was that I was trying to remember my conversation with Mrs. Parsons the night before. I didn't want to forget any of it, but I especially wanted to remember the part where she told me that I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted to. I didn't feel so much like an intruder, or an unwanted orphan anymore. I spent time looking around my room. MY ROOM. I felt a lot more like I really belonged there. I wasn't just a guest now. When I got downstairs, Bea and Mrs. Parsons were sitting together at the dining room table, talking and even laughing. I had a feeling it was going to be a very good day. Gerta brought me some fresh made waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. She had poured a lot of strawberry juice over the waffles, making them sweet and soggy, just the way I was learning to like them. I'd never had waffles before coming there. That was one of my favorites. I think this was Gerta's way of thanking me for getting Mrs. Parsons to eat the night before. "Kenny, Hans is going to be driving us out to the club today. I've arranged for Bea to be a guest at the club for the day. She works so hard without any time off. She doesn't want to play golf, but says the idea of spending a day at the pool appeals to her. I thought that you and I could play nine holes after your lesson, then I'm going to need to run over to Bunny's to sign some new papers. I'd like it if you and Bea could take lunch together at the club, and if you could keep her company in the afternoon at the pool. You can invite Brenda to join you, at lunch, and later at the pool. Can we plan on you for this?" "Absolutely! In fact, I'm really looking forward to having Brenda and Bea eating together. There's this other girl, Carol I think her name is, she's a friend of Brenda's but closer to Bea's age. I wonder if it would be all right for us to invite her to join us for lunch too. I have my own money to pay for her lunch." "No, don't worry about the cost. Just sign for it like I showed you. I think Bunny once told me that we don't use the club enough as a tax deduction. Apparently, when they audit, the greater the use we've made of it, the easier it is to justify the memberships as a tax write off for business. Ask Bunny if you're curious, but I'm pretty sure he told me that it helps if we were all to use it more often." After breakfast, I went into the living room to phone Brenda. It took several minutes for her to come to the phone. I didn't know if she was still asleep when I called, or if she was hesitating over whether or not she should talk to me again after our troubles on the phone the night before. I waited patiently, and finally, my patience was rewarded. "Hello?" "Brenda, it's Kenny. Can you come out to the club for lunch at about one thirty? It will be you and I, Bea, and Carol Peterson if she's available. Bea's interested in meeting her, and I'm dying to see you again." "What's the catch, Kenny? With you, there always has to be a catch." "I have my lesson at ten thirty, for an hour. Then, Mrs. Parsons and I are going to play nine holes of golf. She has to leave right after that, so she wanted me to take Bea to lunch. Bea's coming out with us too, but she's only interested in visiting the pool. We won't be able to practice tennis though. I'd like for us to keep Bea company in the pool in the afternoon. Bea and Carol are closer in age than you and I are to her, so I thought they might get to know each other and find out what they have in common. That way, you and I could relax together, enjoy the pool. I was really looking forward to helping you apply your tanning oils again." "What about what you said last night? You said we weren't going to talk anymore. What happened to all of that?" "I didn't realize how much I was going to miss you. I had a dream about you last night." "You did not." "Did too. You were eating shrimp, and you spilled some of the cocktail sauce on your chin and neck. You let me lick it off you. I had just found out that some of it spilled down the front of your blouse, but I woke up before I could get it." "You didn't dream that. You just made it up right now. I bet you didn't even think about me, let alone have that dream." "Brenda, I really did dream that. I swear I did. Come out to the club. I talked to Mrs. Parsons about you, and she told me to invite you to lunch and treat you nice today. I told her how much you eat, but she said to do it anyway. Guess what? She told me that I should charge as much as I want to at the restaurant. It is some kind of tax deduction thing she needs to get. Please come out to the club, Brenda." "I'm not sure. Suppose I come out there and your mood changes again?" "I'll let you order that pie ala mode you wanted. I hear they got in a lot of new shrimp to replace all the ones you ate yesterday. I promise to be good when I help you with the tanning oil." "I'll come, but only if my mom can give me a ride. Let me ask her. Hold on a minute." I waited for about five minutes before she came back on the line. "Kenny, I can't go. My mom says she can't drive me. I'm sorry." "Brenda, can you go if I arrange for Hans to come by and pick you up? He'd drive you home too." Do you mean it? In your limo?" "I think so, but I'm not sure. Sometimes we use Mrs. Parsons car." "Let me ask my mom, hold on again, okay?" Another three minutes passed before she was back. This time she said her mother wanted to speak with me. "Hello, Kenny? This is Georgia Connor. Are you certain it will be all right for Brenda to catch a ride with you? Did you ask, Bertie if it was okay?" "Hi, Mrs. Connor. Yes, I'm sure. She was the one who suggested I ask Brenda to meet me at the club for lunch and the swimming pool. We're going to go out there early though, because I have a golf lesson. After my lesson, Mrs. Parsons and I are playing nine holes before we all go to lunch. Mrs. Parsons has to leave, but Bea will be with us, and we're trying to see if Carol Peterson is available for lunch as well. If she can be ready in about fifteen minutes, she can ride out with all of us. If not, tell me a good time and we'll send Hans over to pick her up." "No, she can be ready in fifteen minutes. Give Bertie my best, okay. You all have a good time today. I envy you children having all this free time to just relax and play." "Thank you, Mrs. Connor, I'll tell her that you said hello. We'll be there in about fifteen minutes." We went in the limo. Luckily, Hans knew where the Connor house was already. When we drove up in front of her house, Brenda hurried right out. I saw her mother at the front door, waving at all of us in the limousine. I put the window down and waved back. Mrs. Parsons had to remind me to get out and open the door for Brenda. I made it out just in time. Brenda didn't seem to notice that I'd waited so long to open the door for her. We drove out to the club, with Bea asking Brenda pointedly about her friendship with Carol. I knew that Bea was just having some fun at my expense, but Brenda just said that she didn't really know her that well. "She's actually more a friend of Kenny's than she is of mine." I jumped in, trying to let Bea know that I wasn't nervous about her meeting Carol. "She's very friendly, Bea. I'm sure you and she will get along famously. You both have so much in common. Did I mention she has hair the same color as yours? She makes friends easy too, just like you." "Kenny, I'm sure she and I will have a lot to talk about. I think we'll just have fun, talking and relaxing at the pool." "Just make sure you keep everything that doesn't want any sun on it covered. I'd hate for you to get burned." The whole time we were talking, Mrs. Parsons just sat there smiling at us. She seemed to be in a very good mood. I think it might have been seeing me with Brenda, and seeing how much differently I treated her than I treated Bea. Maybe, she was just happy to be out in the open on a nice day. Maybe it was knowing she would soon be doing something she really liked doing, something she knew she did well. When we got to the club, we split up into two groups, Brenda and Bea heading out to the pool, and Mrs. Parsons and I going over to the pro shop to find Dave, and to get our clubs sent out to the range. We had a good lesson. Dave showed me how to move forward and backward relative to the ball, in order to control the flight of the ball. He spent time teaching me the punch shot. He told me it was good for those windy days, or when I needed to keep my ball under tree branches when approaching a green from some kind of trouble. He had me work on driving the ball, telling me that I needed to open up into a wider stance. He was constantly trying to get me to make a fuller shoulder turn on my takeaway. I had started taking a lighter grip on my driver, letting my hands and arms be more relaxed. This was starting to translate into greater driving yardage. After practicing, I could hardly wait to take it out to the course. We played a very speedy nine holes of golf. When we were done, I'd scored a forty two. Mrs. Parsons had an even par thirty six. She and I both birdied the seventh hole. I had made a twenty foot putt for my first birdie. Mrs. Parsons had only needed to make a three footer for hers. My driving was much improved, and I had gotten lucky bounces on a couple occasions. Once I should have gone in the green side bunker, but somehow, the ball rolled through it and went right up on the green. I made my par there where I might have made a double bogey or worse. Another time I hit a tree really hard, but my ball caromed off of the trunk, sailing right back out onto the fairway. Mrs. Parsons drove off with Hans, apologizing for not being able to play a full eighteen with me. She told me that I'd probably have broken 90 if we could have played the back nine. I thanked her for giving me such a great morning of golf, and for suggesting all of the company. I told her that I hoped we could play eighteen the next day. She said she'd try. After seeing Mrs. Parsons off, I walked over to the pool area. I looked over in the pool, and was a little surprised to see Brenda, Bea and Carol standing waist deep in the shallow end, talking like they'd each known the other two for years. I should have had my fear hackles raised just by taking in such a scene, but instead, I opened the pool gate and walked right into their line of vision. I may have thought I understood "the power", but that was when it was being used on me by one person at a time. Three girls at once, and two of those, having experience using the higher physical application of "the power", I never knew what hit me. By the time we all finished lunch and headed back out to the pool, I knew what a mouse felt like when it was dropped into a maze filled with three hungry cats. Surprisingly, Brenda was as aggressive as either of the other two. Throughout our lunch, they talked, laughed, ate and drank, all of them having the best time, mostly at my expense. I picked at my cheeseburger and fries and wondered how I'd been stupid enough to let Bea set me up this way. I wondered what they could have said to Brenda to make her so much like they were, and so quickly. Before lunch was finished, all three of them had put their hand on my dick. I had nowhere to go to hide from their attentions. When Brenda announced that they were all going back to the pool to see who could get me to give them the best tanning oil massage, I was ready to sneak away and call Hans for a ride back to the house. I'm not sure whether it was my stubbornness or my curiosity to learn how far each of them would go, but I meekly followed them back over to the pool area. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 13 We left the pool area to go over to the club house restaurant. By the time I had gotten to the pool, Bea and Brenda had already befriended Carol, telling her that I had insisted on them inviting her to have lunch with us. Both Brenda and Bea had described me to Carol, Brenda telling her that I was the boy that had been here with her before, the time when Carol was standing in the pool and smiling over at me. Bea then told her that I was the boy she had teased by exposing herself to me. Carol had just laughed at that, saying that only narrowed it down a little for her. As soon as she saw me later, she laughed, and told Brenda that she was hoping that I was the one they had been describing. She and Bea had then engaged in a long discussion about how much fun it was to tease young boys. At first, Brenda had been somewhat scandalized by their conversation, then she got a little angry at me. After listening though, she started to see it as just an extension of what her mother had already taught her about attracting and holding a boys interest. She wasn't ready for anything like that yet, she thought, but it wouldn't hurt to listen and find out what these two young women had done. For the next two and a half hours, the three girls talked about boys and men, with Bea setting the tone and direction the conversation was taking. During the bulk of this time, Brenda remained silent. She knew that, compared to the other two, she had almost nothing to contribute. Still, Bea made an effort to draw her out, finding out what interested her, and how far she had already progressed with her interest or actions toward boys. Bea kept reassuring her that her current lack of experience wasn't any drawback, and that she would make advances to her experiences all in the proper course of time. Bea was trying to get Brenda involved in a way that she wouldn't find threatening. When Bea thought that Brenda had been properly conditioned, she started telling her about us. Making it seem like she had been my impersonal sex education teacher. She described, in detail all of the things she had taught me. She made an effort to get Brenda to realize it hadn't been any personal interest on her part, but that boys had to learn about it from somewhere, and she had wanted me to learn the right way. She told Brenda that she had taught me how to please a woman, and not to be too selfish when making love. When Brenda got upset, Bea simply told her that she should be thanking her for teaching me an important set of skills. Being young and mostly innocent, Brenda didn't realize that the two older girls were getting ready to set her up for their own amusement. If you are already somewhat shopworn and jaded, it is difficult to be around true innocence and not feel your own pangs of regret at your own lost innocence. That is what Mrs. Parsons told me later. Since your innocence can never be recovered, the next best thing is to help destroy that other person's innocence. Bea and Carol had entered into an unspoken agreement to accomplish this with Brenda. It wasn't sinister on their parts. In their minds, they had already rationalized this act as them teaching Brenda how to have more fun in her life. Bea and Carol were somewhat jaded, but neither was malicious. Their actions, in Bea's mind, would only help to speed up the inevitable. She wanted me to make a conquest of Brenda's virginity before she left. She explained this all to me later, after the damage had all been done. I didn't know any of this as we walked into the restaurant together. I was holding hands with Brenda, and Bea and Carol were walking ahead of us. We were seated and everyone ordered. Brenda had the steak sandwich this time. I guess she had enjoyed as much shrimp as she wanted by then. I ordered the cheeseburger, and Carol and Bea both ordered the fried shrimp. All three girls were wearing wraps over their swim suits. I was still wearing my golf shoes and the clothes I'd played in. My bathing suit was in my member's locker that Mr. Chalmers had acquired for me. We were waiting for the food to arrive when Bea fired the first salvo at me. "Kenny, you've been fibbing to me about Carol. Why did you make all of that up?" I had a sinking feeling that this lunch was going to prove embarrassing to me, and that after it was done, Brenda and I would be finished forever. I felt bad about that, but I had already done all the things that Bea might tell everyone at the table about us. I wasn't going to lie about it. I felt bad because I'd gotten Brenda involved in Bea's anger at me. "I don't know Bea, why do you think I did it?" "Because you knew hearing about it was going to make me hot, and you wanted me to be friendly towards you." "I thought it would be more amusing for you if I were to make a few things up. When I told you though, you were already being pretty friendly." "That's right I was, wasn't I? And, it was a good story you told, so I forgive you for doing that. By the way, Brenda told us what happened that day when you two were sitting in the bleachers. The way she tells it, that was no accident. I'd like your apology, Kenny." I looked over at Brenda, but she was staring with considerable interest at her forks and the napkin. She was turning a bright shade of red. "Apology, for what?" I had started feeling like Bea was going to quit teasing when she said she forgave me, but what she said about Brenda had me twice as worried now. "I told you it wasn't an accident, and you said I was totally wrong, that Brenda was too young and innocent to do anything like that on purpose. She told Carol and me that she had been planning on touching your dick ever since the first time she had put her hand on your leg. Yours was the first one she ever felt. Right Brenda?" I expected Brenda to get up and leave right then. I was going to go with her if she did. I was mad at Bea for embarrassing Brenda like this. "Bea, stop doing this. You've embarrassed Brenda and me. It isn't funny." "You better just relax and lighten up, Kenny. Carol and I already told her about things we've done with you. Compared to them, what she did is certainly nothing to be worried about. Right Brenda?" When Bea quit talking, Brenda raised her face back up and looked over at me. "I didn't know you were telling Bea everything we did or talked about, Kenny." "I didn't tell her what we talked about. At least not most of it. I'm sorry I told her about what you did with your hand. Bea knows about these kinds of things, and she has been teaching them to me." "She told us. She says you're a quick learner too. I guess you thought I was pretty funny all this time? I don't appreciate being laughed at, Kenny, not one bit." Brenda stood up, so I did too. "Brenda, please. I'm sorry. Sit back down and let's have lunch. I'll call Hans to give you a ride home after, if that's what you want to do. Please. I'm very sorry." When I stood up, Bea reached over and pinched the head of my dick. For some reason, as worried as I was about what was happening, I still had a hard on. "Bea, don't do that! Jesus Christ. You'll get us all thrown out of here." Brenda and Carol laughed at what Bea had done. I was embarrassed, so I sat back down. Bea told Brenda to quit acting like she was all upset over this. We were there to have a good time, and everyone was just having fun with everyone else. Brenda actually did sit down. Carol spoke up for the first time. "Everyone gets to touch it but me. That's not fair." For some reason, Bea really thought this was funny. I looked at Brenda, and she was looking over at me. She looked hurt, and I couldn't blame her. When she leaned over and put her hand right on my dick and started squeezing it, I was so surprised that I almost fell off my chair. "Now she's doing it to him again. Bea change seats with me, okay?" "Brenda!" She let go of me and put her hand back in her lap. I was looking at her as Carol and Bea switched places so that Carol was now on my right and Bea was sitting across the table from me. "Brenda, why did you do that?" "I barely got to feel it against the back of my hand the other time. I figured if you're going to be telling everyone that I felt it, I might as well get a good feel." She looked back at me, something was on her face, something that made me want to drop the subject right there. She had accomplished a miracle. She had just grabbed my dick, and then made me feel like I was the one in the wrong. The sisters at the orphanage could learn something from Brenda. Even they hadn't been able to get me to feel that way when they punished me for failing to pay attention in Catechism class. Just as the waiter brought out all our lunches, Carol put her hand in my lap and started rubbing at my crotch. Her hand was hidden from everyone else by the tablecloth, but I still reacted with a startled movement. In spite of me jumping, Carol kept her hand busy rubbing my dick. I reached down and pulled it off of my crotch. Carol pouted, but moved her hand away from me. Then she announced to the whole table, including our waiter what she had done. "Okay, now we've all felt his dick. I feel better." The waiter gave no indication that he had heard anything in the least way out of the ordinary. Brenda glared at Carol and me both, and Bea just laughed at her new friend. After we all had our food, and the waiter had gone, Bea asked Brenda how she liked getting a good feel of my dick. "It's pretty big, bigger than I first thought it was." "No, it's only about average. I knew this guy over in Springfield, his name was Herman, and did he ever have a big one. Fat too. He had one of those dicks a girl wants to try out one time, just to see if she can do it. Some girls might like them big like that, but not me. Herman was just too much of a good thing. Of course, later, after you have stopped being bruised and sore, you can look back on it and only remember the good parts of it. Kenny might still be going to grow more though. If he does, he might wind up with a pretty good sized one. What do you think, Carol?" "I only have two to compare it to, but it seemed a little big to me too. You've got a lot more experience though, Bea, so I guess it must be only average like you said." "It could be a little bit bigger than average already, but not by much. Most of them are about the same length. Kenny's might be a little bit thicker though, maybe that's what Brenda meant." I didn't say anything. I had no way of knowing, and hadn't really ever given it much thought. I knew it had grown quite a bit since I first started playing with it. It fit good inside Bea's mouth and pussy, so I guess that was all I really needed to know. Carol turned to Brenda, asking her about what I was doing to her over on those lounge chairs. "Just putting on some tanning oil. We saw you watching us. I wanted to take Kenny's mind off of you." "It doesn't take twenty minutes to rub on some tanning lotion." Carol was trying to discover what we had really done. "It looked like he had his hands between your legs, rubbing your kitty." Brenda just laughed. "That's what it was supposed to look like, but that isn't what he was doing. He was rubbing my thighs to get them loose after tennis." "I tried to get him to put some lotion on me, after you left, but he just ignored me. If you had come over there, Kenny, I would have let you rub it all over, especially on my kitty. I got pretty hot standing out in that pool watching you rubbing her. I thought you were really giving her a workout with your fingers." Bea stopped Carol from going further with what had been sounding more and more like an invitation. She told me later that she didn't want to have Brenda get mad again and leave. "Carol, be good now. You know Brenda is Kenny's girlfriend. I already told you he's cut me off now, so I doubt that he'd want to pet your pretty kitty, not when he's turning his nose up at a full grown pussy being thrown at him right at home." Carol didn't seem at all bothered by Bea's words. Brenda did though. "Is she telling the truth, Kenny? Don't lie to me. She told us you started locking your bedroom door at night. Is that true?" "It is, starting tonight, Brenda. I told her last night I was going to lock my door, but I didn't. I'm going to lock it from now on though." I was only picking at my lunch, unable to work up much enthusiasm for eating. I had always been a fast eater, probably from my orphanage experience. The quicker you got finished, the better chance that you'd get second helpings. It is hard to eat when you are constantly having to worry about what you say, or what the others are going to say. I didn't want to lie to Brenda, especially since I knew Bea was capable, and probably willing, to expose any lies I told. "Bea already said she taught you everything you need to know. She told me that you should practice though, to improve your skills. I already told her that you aren't going to be practicing with me." Brenda spoke this to me, quietly, even though it was loud enough for Bea and Carol to hear too. "He can practice with me then," Carol tried to put her hand back in my lap as she said this, but I moved it away with my hand. She gave me another one of her looks, trying to make me feel bad at not having gone along with her playful gesture. She scared me. I was used to Bea. I knew she was bored, and just did things with me because she liked to teach me, and she needed to pass the time until she got released by the court. I didn't know why Carol would be interested in me though. I figured she was just going along with the joke they were all playing with me. "How about if he practices on giving all of us massages at the pool? I like getting a massage, and Kenny has strong hands." As soon as Brenda suggested that, the other two were immediately in favor, negotiating with Brenda over what the ground rules were going to be. Brenda finally allowed herself to agree that each girl could set her own limits on what I'd be allowed to do to them. I protested that. I told them I wasn't going to do anything I didn't want to do. Bea laughed at my protests, telling everyone that my resolve would only last until I found myself actually rubbing my fingers against their skin. That was when Brenda decided to make it a contest, to see which of them could get me to give the best massage to them. Carol started asking questions about what counted as best, but Bea quickly quieted her, saying that we'd all leave the judging up to Brenda. After I signed for lunch, which came to almost seventy five dollars including three desserts for the girls, and the tip, we all went back to the pool. Bea and Carol were in front again, and Bea was whispering a lot into Carol's ear. All Carol did was listen and nod occasionally. I left them at the pool and went back to change into my swimming trunks. When I got back to the pool, all three girls were off to the side, away from the pool itself. They were all laying on their fronts on their towels and looking at me with huge grins on their faces. Looking back on it now, my only sensible course of action would have been to run away. Inside that gate was nothing but danger and disaster. I knew that already. I was fifty feet away from the closest girl, and my dick was already pressing tightly against the liner in my bathing suit. I had run a few of the possible outcomes through my head, searching for any that didn't get me into a lot of trouble. I hadn't found any that filled the bill in that regard. I was going to get in trouble if I opened that pool gate and walked through it. I opened the gate and walked over to the girls. I didn't even make an attempt to disguise my aroused condition. I was literally being led by my dick. It is remarkable that there was enough blood left in my brain to allow me to navigate over to them, but I managed it. I even went over to get a regular chair for me to sit in. I placed it at the end where all their feet were, sitting down and putting the towel in my lap as I waited for them to tell me their plan. Bea had become the spokesman for the trio. "Okay, Kenny, here's what we've all agreed to. You give Carol the first massage, then me, and finish up with Brenda last. She'll watch you giving us ours, and then she'll feel you giving her hers. At the end, she decides who got you to give them the best massage. The winner gets to have you give them one wish for doing something to them. They can't wish for anything that would get anybody in trouble here at the club though. That's it." I could see that Bea had given this whole thing some thought. I had a good idea that she had already told Carol how far to take it with me, then she'd go just a tiny bit further. She probably figured that Brenda's competitive nature would make her let me go a little bit further still with her. I had a good idea of the way Bea thought. I thought her plan would probably work just about like she had it all drawn out. I knew that Bea had picked Brenda to be my first real conquest, and that she really was looking forward to it happening, and soon too. A week before, and Bea's plan probably would have worked. After my talk with Mrs. Parsons, and even my conversations with Mr. Parsons, I wasn't going to be led into doing this just for Bea's amusement. I had a lot of reasons not to do this, and only one to go ahead with it. Bea didn't realize it, but it was her attentions the night before that allowed me to balk at doing what she had hoped to orchestrate at the pool. Bea had given me release, but she had also shown me the value of sex without much caring. I had spent an emotional time with Mrs. Parsons, a time that was all about caring, without even the hint of any sexual overtones to it. Brenda, since I'd known her, had taught me that my caring for her was more important than my needing to have sex with her. I liked sex, preferred it over masturbation by a lot, but I had recently learned that it wasn't important enough to me to justify my going against my own principles. The principles I already had, and those I was still needing to develop. I had started to work on changing my way of looking at things. If I was going to try to fit in with my new home, and the social situation that came with it, I needed to learn to act in a way that didn't reflect badly on me, and on those who were making my new life possible. I was no longer a child. I had to take full responsibility for any decisions I made. That's what I did, I made a decision, one that comforted most of me, even though my dick was already starting to be bitterly disappointed. "Brenda's my girlfriend. I'm only going to put tanning oil on her. Bea, why don't we have a contest? You give Carol a massage and I'll give Brenda one. We'll let both of them argue about which of us did the best job." "I'm not your girlfriend, Kenny. I'm just one of the girls you toy with. I want to have the contest we all agreed on. You can't back out now, not after we all agreed." "I'm sorry, Brenda. This isn't something I'm comfortable doing. I'm going up to practice my putting. Bea, come get me when you guys are ready for me to call Hans to drive us back home." I stood up, my dick had lost most of it's earlier enthusiasm. I walked away from them, realizing as I did so, what a near thing it had been. I didn't think Brenda would realize that she had been Bea's intended offering to me. I was disappointed in a way, and worried that Brenda would stay mad at me because of the things Bea had told her. I didn't feel bad about not having the three girls letting me run my hands all over their beautiful bodies. I felt a little bad about it, but not real bad. All right, I felt bad, like I'd cheated myself out of a once in a lifetime opportunity. At the same time, I felt virtuous, like I'd faced down a strong temptation, and that's why, everything considered, I didn't feel that bad. I spent two hours with my putter on the practice green. By the time Bea came to get me, I hadn't learned anything good, and may have actually learned every way there was to putt bad. My heart and head weren't in my putting. I was just going through the motions, with most of my focus on trying to convince myself that I wasn't the stupidest person on the face of the earth. If I lived up to what I'd told Brenda about locking my bedroom door at night, I was probably soon going to be the stupidest and horniest person on the face of the earth. The ride over to Brenda's was torture, with no one speaking to me. Bea sat up in front with Hans, and Brenda and I were alone together, sitting as far apart as we could, with neither of us speaking. When Hans had barely come to a stop in front of her house, Brenda opened up her own door and ran away from the limo, still not having said anything to me. When we arrived back at the house, I went straight up to my room. The first thing I noticed was that there was now a telephone in my room. I hadn't asked for it, so I was surprised to see it there. I picked up the receiver and listened for the dial tone. After satisfying myself that the phone worked, I replaced it in its cradle and went in the bathroom to take a shower. I loved having my own room, bathroom, and shower. To me, when I had lived at the orphanage, any kind of privacy had been precious. The bathroom there, and particularly the big showers, were the most privacy a kid could hope to get. If someone did come in there and disturb you, it was always another kid, not one of the sisters. Having my own room, with my own bathroom and shower, was at least ten times more private than anything else I'd ever known. This was especially true when you threw in the two separate door locks that I had. I spent a long time in the shower. I ran over the day's events in my head, reviewing all of it, trying to make a rational assessment of where I stood with everyone that mattered to me. I was angry and upset with Bea. I didn't feel much of anything about Carol. I was mostly resigned and sad about Brenda. I felt good to see how well Mrs. Parsons had seemed in the morning. I had enjoyed playing golf with her, and even more, I'd enjoyed seeing her smiling and happy again. I didn't see that there was too much else I could try to do to change Brenda's feelings about me. I knew I'd disappointed her when she learned about what I'd done with Bea. I also had to assume that she now knew what I hadn't told her about what Carol had shown to me that day I'd come to the pool looking for her. She was probably still hurt that I'd discussed our private business with Bea too. In all, I hadn't managed to conduct myself around her with anything that could be mistaken by anyone for decent behavior. After I had gotten myself dressed again, I debated the advisability of my attempting to call Brenda. I expected her to refuse to talk to me if I did call her, but I felt there was some small chance that she might be willing to talk to me, if she knew it was just the two of us talking now, rather than all four of us like it had been. She hadn't spoken to me in the limo, but maybe she was waiting for me to say something first. I picked up the phone and dialed her number from memory. Brenda answered the phone on the first ring, which surprised me. "Hello, Brenda?" "What do you want?" Hostile tone, but still, she was talking to me. As long as she didn't hang up, I had to be encouraged. "I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am, about all of this." It never hurts to apologize. This was something I had learned at the orphanage. Unlike at the orphanage, this time I really meant it. I really was very sorry about almost everything. I laid my head down on the pillow, hoping she would say something encouraging to me, almost anything, so we could continue talking. "You already told me that." I didn't sense any softening in her position towards me. "I'm calling you from my bedroom. Somebody put my own phone in there. Now I don't have to call you from the living room." "You don't have to call me at all, ever, from anywhere." "Why did you say you weren't my girlfriend? That hurt my feelings when you said that." "You don't act like I'm your girlfriend. Do you think I liked hearing Bea telling me all those things you did with her? Why did you want to take Carol to lunch anyway? Were you hoping she'd show you her kitty again? I never heard of anything so ridiculous in my whole life, her kitty, what kind of name is that for a part of her anatomy? I wonder what she calls that big ass of hers? Who else even has a name for it? Does she think her vagina is some kind of house pet? You never told me about any of the things you were doing with either of them. I had to sit there, humiliated, and pretend the whole time that all of it was okay with me. The truth was, I wanted to scream at the both of them, pull out all their hair, and scratch out their eyes. I thought you liked me, Kenny, that I was special to you, when all the time, you were doing a lot more stuff with those other people, a lot more than we ever did. I told my mother all about what you did, and the things that you've said to me. She says that you've behaved abominably." "I agree, I have. I'm not sure if abominably means bad or not. If that's what it means, your mother is right. I'm ashamed of myself. I wish you hadn't told her though. Now she won't let me see you anymore." "Why do you think that? She said most men are just as bad as you are. She said Daddy was even worse than you are, and he didn't have your money." "Did you tell her what I told you about my being poor?" "I told her what you said, but we're not stupid. We can see how you live. Look at that limo you picked me up in today. How many other kids can send a limo over to pick someone else up like that? Not many. She and I both think you're rich. If you weren't, I probably would be too mad to ever speak to you again." "That's the only reason you're talking to me, because you think I'm rich?" "I already told you I'm going to marry a rich man, didn't I? How do you think I'm going to manage to do that if I don't hang around with rich people?" "Is that why you were going to let me massage all of you girls today, because I'm rich, and you didn't want me to stop going out with you?" "Plus the tennis, and the lunches. I like you a lot too, whenever I'm not mad at you, which is almost never." "Okay. As long as you like me too. If is was just for the money, I wouldn't want you to be with me. You already know that I don't have money though, not me personally? It's all their money, and I'm not likely to ever get any of it." "I know that. I still think you're rich. Bea told me all about the way you live, and how much Mrs. Parsons likes you. She's jealous of you too, did you know that? Can you believe all the things she said she did? When she said that thing about that Herman guy up in Springfield, it sounded like it wasn't anything more to her than some skirt she tried on once that didn't quite fit. Do you think that was a real guy, or was she just making it all up?" "I don't know. Bea might be making it up, or she might have done it. She's told me lots of stories like that. I think she was probably telling the truth." "Did you mean it when you said you were locking your bedroom door at night?" "Yes." "Even if I tell you I don't want to see you anymore?" "Yes." "So you aren't stopping with her because of me?" "No. I'm doing it because of me. I liked it a lot, and it was a lot better than the other thing, you know, by myself, but it was just sex. Bea is like a friend, but not like you are to me. I did things with her, but I never wanted to be around her like I want to be with you. Carol is the same way, but even less. I don't know why she showed herself to me like that, but I know it didn't have anything to do with me. Bea's the same way. I was just something to do to pass the time. It didn't have to be me, just someone." "I think you're wrong. Bea seems to really like you. My mother told me that she probably planned this whole thing to get to keep you all to herself. She says women do that sometimes. Do you think she might have planned this? Could she see me as a possible threat to her? I told my mother about you saying you were locking your bedroom door. She said that Bea could probably find a key to unlock it. She said something terrible after too. She says that's what she'd have done." "You tell your mother it's not a lock that Bea can get a key for. It's a dead bolt lock. This used to be Mr. Chalmers room, and he was very serious about having his privacy. The other lock would be too easy to open up." "That's good. Now that I know about her, I feel better that she can't keep sneaking in your room and waking you up the way she said she did. She said she always woke you up with her mouth. Is that the truth?" "Not always. Usually though." "And she said you did it to her that way too. That made me very mad, because you lied to me about that." "I didn't lie. I told you that you were the only girl I thought about wanting to do that to. I did it for Bea because she wanted me to, but I never wanted to do it to her that way." "You admit doing it though? And you had sex with her too, lots of times, right?" "Yes, that's true. Nine times, no, eleven." "You must be a slow learner then, not fast like she said. Eleven times is a lot. I've never even come close to doing any of that, and I've never wanted to." "I guess we're different then. I've never come close to doing any of that with you either, but I've wanted to." "You aren't going to. At least not before we're married." "We're going to get married? When do you think this is going to happen?" "We could. After we're through with school. I'm going to marry somebody rich, and you're the only really rich boy I know." "I wish you weren't so interested in money all the time. It makes me feel like that's all you want from me." "When I'm mad at you, like right now, that is all I want from you. Other times, the money isn't as important. Today, after I first got home, I took a bath. Do you know why I took a bath in the middle of the day? Because of you, that's why. I wasn't thinking of money then, and it makes me so mad that you can make me want to do that, especially so soon after the last time. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to start worrying about being boy crazy like Claudia is." "Were you mad at me when you were thinking about me in the bath?" "I never said I was thinking about you. I said you caused me to have to do that. I was thinking about someone different than you. Someone a lot different, who doesn't look like you at all." "Was it that guy up in Springfield, that Herman guy?" Brenda started giggling. "No, it wasn't him, it was someone else." "I guess that's fair. I took a shower when I got home and I didn't think about you much either. Of course, I didn't do anything to myself, or else I would have." "I was thinking about you, and about what I did in the restaurant. That was so funny what Bea did, and how you reacted. Carol played with your dick for a long time, didn't she?" "No, because I took her hand away. She tried it again, but I took her hand away before she could touch me there." "I like saying dick. I think I'm going to start calling mine a kitty too. It's really kind of cute, but only if I don't have to think about Carol every time I say it." "Are we practicing tennis tomorrow or not? I'm planning on playing a full eighteen holes tomorrow, after my lesson. I probably won't be done before about three o'clock. We could have lunch again, if you aren't already tired of eating there, and then go practice some tennis. I still need to ask Mrs. Parsons about Sunday, if you still want me to be your partner?" "You didn't ask her already? I thought you did, that's why I didn't ask anyone else. Now it's too late, all the slots are filled. You better play." "Relax. She'll probably let me play. I'll ask her at dinner tonight." Call me as soon as you know for sure. Now I'm going to be all nervous until you tell me." "Let me go see if she's home yet. If she is, I'll ask her, then call you right back. If she isn't home yet, I'll call you right back anyway." "Don't hang up yet until we finish talking about tomorrow, Kenny. We need to practice if we're going to play on Sunday. If I say okay, that doesn't mean I'm all over being mad at you. The same thing about lunch. Just because I let you buy me all these lunches, that doesn't mean I want to be your girlfriend. You don't expect anything from me to pay for these lunches, do you?" "Tomorrow, if Mrs. Parsons doesn't join us, I think you should let me pet your kitty for as long as you played with my dick. If you sit in real close, the table cloth covers up everything." "I'm certainly not going to agree to any such thing. Do you think she'll be eating with us?" "She might. She and I usually like to eat lunch together, after golf, if she has the time to spare." "Will she mind that you're buying me lunch again?" "Well, she's the one buying you the lunches, and all of mine too. She told me it was fine. She told me to invite you today. Mrs. Parsons doesn't care about money much. You should see how many new clothes she bought me. Mr. Chalmers said the money she spent on my clothes was less than a six dollar cheeseburger would be to me. When he said that though, I didn't have six cents, let alone six dollars, but I'm pretty sure he meant that she was so rich that a couple of thousand dollars didn't mean anything to her." "Do you think your clothes cost that much, a couple thousand?" "My three new suits probably cost almost that much. I saw a suit hanging up by the fitting room, and it was already made, selling for six hundred dollars. All three of mine were hand-made, after they took all of my measurements. Everything together must have cost a lot more than two thousand, but I don't know for sure. It was a lot more for my new underwear than for all the other clothes I owned before I moved here." "Bea told Carol and me about your big closet. She says it's bigger than her bedroom." "It's big, but I haven't ever been in Bea's bedroom." "She's been in yours though, lots of times. I don't like having to always think about that now. If she hadn't told me about it, I'd like it better." "Me too." "Only because then you could have kept doing it with her." "No, I wasn't going to do it with her anymore anyway. The next time I ever do it, it will be with you." "If you really mean that, promise me. Cross your heart and hope to die." "No, I don't take oaths like that. I promise you that you will be the next girl I make love with, even if we're old before you let me. That's my promise." "I'm really glad I'm over here, and you're there right now, Kenny. If I were over there right now, I'd be all ready to do something stupid with you." "Something with your kitty?" "Never mind what, I'm over here and you're over there. Call me after you talk to Mrs. Parsons. Make sure you ask her about me being able to eat lunch with you too." "Okay, I'll call you, bye." "Yes, something with my kitty. Bye." I put the phone down and made a slight detour into my bathroom. When I was done, and feeling weaker, but better, I went off in search of Mrs. Parsons. I found her in the kitchen with Gerta and Hans. They were all laughing together, talking about old times, back when the first Mr. Chalmers was still alive. I sat down with them, and listened to all of them talking. It felt good, better than those times in the kitchen with Marie. She never talked to me much. I still missed her. I thought about how tickled she'd be if she could see where I'd ended up. I wondered if Mrs. Parsons would ever let Hans drive me over to the orphanage to see Maria and some of the kids that I'd liked when I lived there. I decided to ask her. "Mrs. Parsons, do you think it might be possible for Hans to take me back to the orphanage so I could visit with my friends there? Just for maybe an hour? I'd like to let them know how lucky I am. Not a special trip, but maybe sometime when he's already going there for something?" "We'll arrange it if you'd like." "Something else too, before I forget it again. Brenda signed the two of us up for the mixed doubles tournament on Sunday. I told her I'd have to ask you first if it was all right?" "That's thoughtful of you, Kenny, but not necessary. This Sunday, Mr. Parsons, Bunny and I will be having a business meeting with some lawyers for Consolidated Foods. We have to go over some details that are still not quite agreed upon. Bunny says we have to plan on it taking all day. Bunny will be driving us over to meet Thomas at the airport in Bolling. He's flying in on the company plane. Our meeting is in Chicago. I don't expect to be back home much before nightfall. Mr. Parsons will not be home this week end at all. It looks as though the merger will be announced the first part of next week. Thomas says there are already rumors of it, which is what is causing all of this haste on everyone's part." "I know. Mr. Connor asked Brenda to ask me about the rumors, last week." "Did he? And what did you tell her when she asked?" "I told her that you don't discuss business things with me, and then I told Mr. Parsons about it. He seemed upset to hear that there were already rumors. He told me about some commission that gets mad if you talk about those kinds of things." "You did well, Kenny. It is good to know that you are discrete. Unfortunately, there are opportunists everywhere, all too ready to use this type of information to gain an unfair advantage." "Mr. Connor told Brenda that, if the merger goes through, his business will be ruined. She worries about them having to be poor." "She needn't worry. I happen to know that Thomas made provisions to retain current suppliers. One of the many perks he had written into his new contract. This one was meant specifically to protect people who have relied upon us, and we on them, for a number of years. Mr. and Mrs. Connor are friends of our whole family. We would never deliberately cause them to come to any harm. I'm glad you told me of this though. As soon as the merger is announced, I'll make sure that either Thomas or I give the Connor's a phone call, to reassure them of this." "Would it be all right if I told Brenda not to be worried, as long as I didn't mention anything about the merger?" "No, I'm afraid not. We'll have to wait for it to be announced first. If you would like to do it, we can arrange for you to be the one to speak to all the Connor's sometime right after the announcement. After all, you're a part of our family now, and perhaps our allowing you to explain the particulars to Walt, Georgia and their children will announce that fact to them, announce it in a way that no other statement ever could. Yes, that's what we'll do then. I'll have to check with Bunny and Thomas, but I'm sure they'll agree to it." "I'm very happy that you feel that way about me. I'm proud to be considered a part of your family. Now that Gerta and I are related, do you suppose she'll make me a sandwich to eat before dinner? I'm starved." "You are right of course, Kenny. Gerta and Hans are family as well. I'm glad you reminded us of that. We don't say things like that nearly often enough. I bet if you ask Aunt Gerta nicely, she'll fix you up with something to tide you over." I looked over at Gerta, but she was already hurrying away to the refrigerator. It was only one small moment, but it was one that I felt good about. There were a lot that I didn't feel good about, but this wasn't one of them. I waited for the sandwich, cold cuts and cheese, that Gerta had somehow managed to put together in less than two minutes. It had mayonnaise, sweet pickles, onions, tomatoes, two different types of cheese, and three different types of meat. Nobody produced good snacks faster than Gerta. "Thank you Aunt Gerta." I grinned at her and took the first juicy bite out of the sandwich. It was a good thing she had handed it to me with a paper plate underneath, because I lost a lot of the ingredients out of the bottom with that first bite. I sat down and put them all back inside again. It was a great sandwich, and Gerta patting my shoulder affectionately, only made it taste that much better to me. When I was done eating, I went back up to my room to call Brenda. "I can play on Sunday. Are we going to practice tomorrow afternoon?" "All right. What about lunch? Did you ask her if it was all right?" Damn. I knew there was something that I had forgotten. I was over ninety nine per cent sure it was okay for Brenda to be there at lunch the next day. I was tempted to lie to her. I resisted that temptation. "I didn't ask her, but I already know it will be fine with her. We just finished talking five minutes ago. If I go back downstairs to ask her, she's going to wonder about me. She'll think I'm stupid." "If you don't ask her first, I'm not going to lunch with you." "I have the money, I could pay your way if you were my guest. You're worrying about nothing." "Go ask her." She hung up the phone right after she said it. At first, I started to get irritated. After, I thought about everything that had happened earlier in the day. I put the telephone down and went back downstairs. Mrs. Parsons was still in the kitchen. "Is it all right if I invite Brenda for lunch with us tomorrow? We're going to be practicing for the tournament after, but she's afraid you might not like it if I keep buying her lunches." "Kenny, that's nonsense. You tell her that as far as we're concerned, she's always welcome to dine with us. I know Walt worries about things like that, but I thought that Georgia would have explained things like that to Brenda. People in our position do not concern ourselves with whose turn it is to buy lunch. I should speak to Georgia myself. I knew her circumstances have been reduced somewhat since her father had all of his misfortune, still, something as small as a few friendly lunches. Should we invite Georgia to dine with us as well as Brenda?" I could see that she was excited at the thought of doing that. She got up, saying she had to plan on what to wear to the country club if Mrs. Connor was going to be there too. I watched her as she climbed up the stairs. She took them two steps at a time, something I'd never seen her do before. I came back in the kitchen to ask Gerta what time dinner was being served, and she put me in a giant bear hug and squeezed me. "It has been a long time since she was like this. She is almost like a young girl again. I wonder at first if it was the divorce, but that is not it. It must be you, Kenny, you are the only other reason why she would be suddenly so much happier. No, not happier, something else, I don't know the word in English. Carefree, ja, without any cares! She is like when she was young. Gerta is going to spoil you now. You wait to see what I make for you tomorrow for the breakfast. You just wait." My head was spinning, to hear so many words at once from Gerta's mouth. I saw that she was happy, and that made me feel happier too. I went back upstairs, planning to call Brenda back. I went over to Mrs. Parsons door, knocking on it to see whether it was all right for me to extend the invitation for Mrs. Connor to join us for lunch. She opened right up for me with a big smile on her face. "Kenny, when you talk to Brenda, tell her to find out if Georgia can play golf with us tomorrow. Does Brenda play? If she does, invite her to play with us too. If she doesn't play, ask her to come along and drive Georgia's cart for her. I played Georgia all the time when we were younger. She never could beat me. I'd forgotten about that until us talking about the Connor family just now reminded me of it. I really hope she can join us. Don't make a big point of it when you ask Brenda, but find some way to let her know that tomorrow everything will be our treat. Come let me know as soon as you get off the phone. I really hope she isn't busy tomorrow." I went back to my room smiling. I dialed the number and Brenda picked it up right away. "Lunch is fine. She said you were always welcome to dine with me, or anyone else in the family. Listen, I know I asked you before, and you told me that you don't play golf, do you know how to play, have you ever played?" "No, and I don't want to learn. Why?" "Mrs. Parsons want your mom to join us for golf and lunch afterwards. She told me that she and your mom used to play all the time when they were younger." "My mother seldom plays now, we don't have a full country club membership any longer. She didn't really play enough anymore to justify keeping the full membership. We have all the other services, just not the golfing." "That's fine. We have full memberships, and you and your mother would be our guests so there wouldn't be any problem. Ask your mother if she'd like to play with us tomorrow. We'd tee off at eleven thirty. Mrs. Parsons spends an hour hitting practice balls while I take my lesson. Tell your mother to come early and get in some practice." "I need to ask her, but I don't think she'll want to come. My dad has her all worried about those business rumors. She hasn't been feeling very well lately, probably her nerves." "Can I speak with her, Brenda?" "Maybe it would be better if you call her in the morning, Kenny. She's been upset ever since before I came home. Sometimes, when she gets upset, she drinks a little." "Look, tell her that Mrs. Parsons wants her to come play golf with her, and we're teeing off around eleven thirty. Tell her to come early so she has time for some practice before we tee off. Mrs. Parsons suggested that you drive the golf cart for your mother tomorrow. Tell your mom that Mrs. Parsons specifically asked for her to come join us playing tomorrow. She might be upset if she found out that your mom didn't want to play with her. She's been doing really well, and has been in a real good mood all day. Go ask your mom, and I'll hang on. Remember, golf and lunch. Tell her Mrs. Parsons is excited about them playing together again." Brenda put down the phone and went to ask her mother. Ten minutes later, Mrs. Connor came to the phone. She sounded like she'd been drinking some, but she didn't sound as drunk as some of the people I'd seen acting drunk on the television programs. "Kenny, I'm surprised you have the nerve to phone here after the report I got on your behavior today. What's all this about? Brenda said Bertie wants me to play golf with you and her tomorrow. I don't play golf anymore. It got to be too much trouble for me to keep my game in any kind of reasonable shape. I've got clubs, but I haven't played in more than two years." "She asked me to invite you, Mrs. Connor. She was all excited at the prospect. She told me the two of you played often when you were both young." "A long time ago, Kenny. A lot of water under that bridge since then. She always took golf more seriously than I did. I don't know. It's been such a long time. I'm not even sure I could give her a game." "I don't think she cares what you shoot, she just wants your company. I think she just wants to play with an old friend again." "Brenda said something about an eleven thirty tee time?" "Yes, but we start practicing at ten thirty, when I take my golf lesson. Mrs. Parsons always hits one of those big buckets while I'm taking my lesson. You come out with us at ten thirty, and I bet it all comes back to you after you hit some balls." "I guess I can make it. Brenda said you told her she can drive my golf cart?" "Mrs Parsons suggested it since all four of us are going to lunch together, and Brenda doesn't play. She and I are going to practice tennis after we finish with lunch." "If you plan on continuing to see my daughter, Kenny, you are going to have to behave more circumspectly around her." "Yes ma'am. I regret what occurred today. I've tried to take the necessary steps to be sure it won't ever happen again." "I'll tell you this much, you've sure got Brenda all keyed up. I've never seen her so worried about her appearance." I heard Brenda scream something in the background, and heard her mother laughing, and saying something back at Brenda. "You treat my baby right, Kenny, I'm afraid she's got it bad. Tell Bertie I'll see her at the club in the morning. Thanks for thinking of us, Kenny. I appreciate being included, and look forward to playing on a real golf course again. Here's Brenda. Good night." Brenda came back on the line, speaking to me loudly, apologizing for her mother's "bizarre behavior!" I could tell she was really talking to her mother. I waited for her to finish up and wind back down. "So, it looks like four of us for lunch again. I guess I'm not going to get to pet your kitty tomorrow." "I petted it for you, right after the last time we talked. I'm going to have to call Claudia soon and tell her I understand better now. When my dad sees the water bill next month, he's going to really hit the roof." "I had the same thing happen when I got off the phone with you too. Tell Claudia that I understand now too." "I don't think I'll do that. She has a kitty too, and she would definitely let you pet it." "I'm pretty sure about which kitty I'm going to pet, and it isn't Claudia's." "It better not be. Stop talking about it, okay? One more bath and I'll be all wrinkled up like a prune when I see you tomorrow." Edited by : G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 14 Once again Mrs. Parsons was in a good mood when she came down for breakfast. She had me call over to Brenda's house to ask them if we could come by to pick them up on our way out to the country club. She told me to tell Mrs. Connor that they would be leaving after lunch and that Hans would return to pick Brenda and me up after we were done with our tennis practice. I called them, and spoke with Brenda for about half an hour. We didn't talk about kitty's, but there was an undercurrent to our conversation, caused mostly on my end. I know I pushed it a little, but that was caused by the fact that Brenda had told me that she liked me. We stopped outside Brenda's house at ten fifteen, and when Mrs. Connor came out carrying a golf bag, Hans and I both raced out to her to offer to carry her bag to the limo. I won the race, and relieved her of the bag. Hans returned to the back of the limo and opened up the trunk. He and I smiled at each other as I put the bag away and he closed the trunk lid. It was a perfect day for golf, no wind and clear skies. My lesson was only marred by the distraction of having Brenda there watching me. I wanted to do well, to impress her with my golfing skill. Perhaps I tried too hard, but, I just wasn't hitting the ball as well as I had been before. While I was taking my lesson, Mrs. Connor and Mrs. Parsons were off to the side, hitting balls, and talking to each other a lot. I watched them hitting for a short time, and I could see that Mrs. Connor didn't have nearly as good of a golf swing as Mrs. Parsons. Her set up was a lot different, and she had an abbreviated follow through which cost her distance, especially with her woods. For all of that, her ball flew straight, almost every time. I was happy when Dave and I went over to the putting green. We reviewed my putting mechanics, and Dave had me try standing more over the ball. I liked the way this felt right from the beginning. The ball lined up easier for my eye, and I just felt more comfortable with sighting my putts this way. It took me a little time to adjust my distance control, but once I had it dialed in, I started making some smoother putts. I could see the way the ball rolled now, and that helped as well. When we went in and got our carts, I showed Brenda how to drive hers. It only took about five minutes to teach her everything I'd been taught. On the first tee, all of us hit decent drives. Mrs. Parsons hit hers further than Mrs. Connor and I, but we were both less than fifteen yards behind her. I learned right away that Mrs. Connor was real good with her mid irons. Her second shot was with a five iron, and she hit it clean, and put it right in the middle of the green. My second shot I hit fat, and it came up forty yards short of the green. Mrs. Parsons hit a seven iron about eight or nine feet short of the flag. I made a bogey, and both of the ladies made pars. I didn't play badly, but after nine holes I was at forty seven, Mrs. Connor at forty three, and Mrs. Parsons had a one over thirty seven. On the course, I had flirted with Brenda quite a bit. Flirting in our case meant mostly winking and smiling, except for one time, when I walked over to her cart and ran a finger across the line of her neck, from back to front. I'm not sure why I picked that to do, it was just something that I felt like doing. Mostly, I wanted to establish a physical connection with her. When I did that, she didn't try to pull away, and when I took my finger away, she looked up at me and smiled. A minute later, I hit my approach shot into the sand trap, and didn't even get mad. I never heard so much talking on a golf course as those two women did. Talking, laughing, and praising each other's shots. Mrs. Parsons had always been pretty quiet when she and I played by ourselves. This was a new side of her that I was seeing, and I thought back to what Gerta had said about her being carefree. One thing was obvious, both of them were having a good time. At the end of eighteen holes, Mrs. Parsons had the low round, an eighty. I really think she deliberately played poorly on the back nine. Mrs. Connor had an eighty six, and I had a ninety one. Mrs. Parsons didn't say that she had played poorly, instead, she congratulated both of us on playing so well. I could see that she was trying to encourage Mrs. Connor to keep playing with her. I found out at lunch that the difference between a full membership and the kind the Connor's had, was a thousand dollars a year. That seemed like a lot of money to me, but Mrs. Parsons started telling Mrs. Connor that it was a false economy not to pay the extra for the full membership. Mrs. Connor said she had really enjoyed playing on a well maintained golf course again, and promised to talk to Mr. Connor about reinstating their full membership soon. From the way she said it, she didn't sound confident of convincing him to do it. When we ordered lunch, Mrs. Parsons ordered a drink, something called a Manhattan, and Mrs. Connor decided to join her by ordering a Vodka Gimlet. Brenda had a worried look on her face when her mom ordered that drink. Brenda and her mother both ordered the fried shrimp, Mrs. Parsons had a Cobb salad, and I had a steak sandwich again. After lunch, Mrs. Parsons and Mrs. Connor ordered one more drink, and we sat there listening to the two of them reminisce about people they knew from their childhood. We found out that Mrs. Connor and Mr. Chalmers had dated each other in high school. It was hard for me to picture the two of them together. Mrs. Parsons saw my puzzled look I guess. "Kenny, Bunny was considered quite dashing in his youth. He was a much sought after escort." I remembered seeing a picture of Mr. Chalmers with his father and Mr. Parsons, when he was about twenty years old. Other than being a little thinner, and having a little more hair in the front of his head, he looked about the same as he now did. I smiled at her, and nodded as if I could believe what she had said. "He was a very sweet boy, so considerate, too. Which is probably the reason he never married. He was so nice, no one felt like they were good enough for him. With me, I met Walt, and he was so different, so exciting. It was a scandal really, when I dropped Bunny and took up with Walt. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out if I'd followed my mother's advice and never taken up with Walt." Mrs. Connor punctuated her final sentence by swallowing the last half of her drink. when she raised her hand, signaling for the waiter, Mrs. Parsons told her that she needed to get back to the house because she was expecting Thomas to call with their schedule for the weekend. She told Mrs. Connor that she was flying off to Chicago Sunday morning and had a lot to take care of before she left. "Kenny, please take care of the check for us, and you make sure that you and Brenda don't overextend yourselves in this heat. Tennis is a lot more strenuous than golf. Goodbye dear, I'll see you at home later. Call Hans when you two are ready to leave. Are you ready, Georgia?" She had stood up and was gathering her things, so Mrs. Connor stood up as well. The waiter rushed over to her with the check, but she smiled at him and pointed her finger over at me. I had gotten up when the ladies did, but as soon as the started for the exit, I sat back down again. "Would you like a dessert?" "No, I'm full. Let's go practice. We have a lot to work on if we're going to be competitive on Sunday." I was a little disappointed, mostly because I was hoping that Brenda was going to let me reach under the table, and touch her pussy. She was sitting close in to the table, and was already dressed in a tennis skirt and tennis panties. They weren't like underwear though, and I already knew she had real panties under the tennis ones. I signed the check and went down to my locker to change into shorts and a different shirt and shoes. When I came out, I walked over to the tennis courts where Brenda was waiting for me. I expected to find her on one of the empty courts, but she was sitting in the bleachers instead. All of the courts were empty, so we were all alone. "Are you ready?" I had my racquet bag open and was fishing out one of my racquets. She stayed where she was, with me standing ten feet away from her. "No, we need to talk first. Come, sit over here." She patted a place beside her. She watched me as I climbed up the two steps and sat down next to her. I put my racquet bag down on the side away from us. "You may as well do it and get it over with, Kenny." "Do what?" "Touch me. That's what you wanted me to get dessert for, wasn't it? Well, go ahead. There's no one around now." I knew she wasn't joking, and I knew she wasn't that happy to be doing this. What I couldn't figure out is why she wanted me to do it, if she didn't feel like she'd enjoy being touched there by me. Something wasn't right. "No, thank you though. I guess I can wait for that." "I want you to do it and get it over with." "I don't, especially if that's how you think. You touched me because you wanted to. It surprised me, but I wanted you to do it, so it was all right. It sounds like you think you have to do it, but you don't want to." "You said you wanted to do that, so I'm saying you can." I could see she was getting herself upset. I think she had steeled herself to do it, and was now frustrated that my failing to cooperate with her was only prolonging something that she would just as soon have over. "I don't want to do it now. I'll do it when you want me to, not before that." "I want you to do it now. Do it!" I got up and walked out on the closest hard court. Brenda stayed sitting on the bleacher bench. I could see that she was just as stubborn as I was. "Kenny, you better come back here so we can get this taken care of." "Brenda, I came here to practice tennis with you. If you have something else you wanted to do, you better just do it alone. Get out here and let's start hitting some balls." "Not until you do it. You said that's what you expected for those free lunches, and that's what you're going to get." She sat there, and after a few more seconds, she opened her legs wide. I could see her white tennis panties clearly. I put my racquet down and walked back over to her. I climbed back up until I was standing right in front of her. I reached down and poked her panties, right in her crotch area, twice with two of my fingers. I didn't try to make it feel good for either one of us. After I had touched her, I turned around and went back to the tennis court. She sat there for another minute, glaring at me, but then she got up and came onto the court with me. We practiced hard for two hours. She was brutal, running me all over the court, obviously trying to make me give up and quit. I refused to give up, even though I needed to stop for short rests, unable to get my burning lungs to take in enough new air. My legs hurt bad too, but I kept going. During the entire practice she never spoke a single sentence to me longer than four words, and every word was about tennis. I'm not sure why I finally decided to stop. I guess somewhere in the process, the pain I felt got to be stronger than the disappointment I knew I'd have when I finally quit. I sat down on the court and refused to get back up. "That's it for today. I'm done." "I still want to practice." Practice by yourself then, I'm through for today." "I'm not tired. You can play a little longer." "Brenda, that's enough. If I get up again, it will only be to go over and call Hans. I'm not sure when I'll be able to do that. The only thing I learned today was that you can be mean when you're mad." "You didn't have to treat me like you did either. You made me feel cheap. You're the one who keeps inviting me to eat with you. When I asked you if you expected anything in return, you should have told me either that you expected nothing, or else only the pleasure of my company." "That's all I do expect. Why are you bringing that up?" "Because you said you expected me to let you pet my kitty when I asked you that question last night." "I also told you it was because you touched me. I didn't mean because of the lunches, I meant you touched me, so I should get to touch you too." "It didn't sound like that. It sounded like you wanted me to pay for my lunches." "Then I'm sorry, it wasn't how I meant it to sound. Another thing though, you have a mouth, you could have just said something so I could have explained what I meant." "All right. I'm sorry too. You lasted longer than I thought you would. I'm tired now too, and sweaty and yucky. I wish I'd brought my bathing suit, we could go swimming." "I'll let you borrow mine." "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" "Yes." "Mine aren't big like Bea's are." "The important thing is that they are yours. I don't want to look at hers anymore." "But you do want to look at my little tiny ones?" "They aren't tiny. They look just right for your body. If they were bigger, you'd be top heavy." "I'm in the mood to let you touch them, and you can really pet my kitty if you want to." "If you want me to, if it's for no other reason than you want me to touch you." Both of us were looking off in every direction, wanting to make sure we were really all alone out there. I didn't see anyone, and I stood back up so that I'd have a better line of sight. We were moving slowly towards each other. We met first with a kiss. Our first real kiss. Our sweat mingled, and there was a salty flavor to both our lips. We moved in a little closer, and I put my hand in between our bodies and touched her breast for the first time. It was small, but it was soft, except for her nipple. It felt good in my palm, and I moved my hand around like Bea had shown me. I moved my hand down her stomach until I felt the end of her skirt. I reached in and touched her panties again, and she helped by opening her legs to my hand. I touched her and rubbed her for about ten seconds. I didn't try to go under her panty leg, it was more of an introductory rub. I felt her own hand reach up and search out my dick. With all of my excitement, it wasn't too hard to find. When she dropped her hand, I dropped mine. The kiss and the touches lasted for less than a minute. We stepped back and smiled at each other. I'm pretty sure that neither of us wanted to move past this point. It was perfect. I don't know what Brenda thought of it as, maybe first kiss or something like that, but, to me, it was the two of us deciding to trust each other. Not totally, but at least a little bit. Bea had opened my eyes to what was possible, and had taught me how to search for pleasure for both partners. Brenda was opening my eyes to emotional responses, and the importance of being connected with both the emotional and the physical. I couldn't help thinking of Bea, and wondering if she had ever felt like I did about Brenda with anyone. She had never once mentioned having any love feelings with anyone. I was happy for her lessons, and wished I could tell her about the other part of it that I was discovering with Brenda. I didn't think she'd believe me anyway. At its best, sex was simply fun for her, a way for her to pay her ticket on the ride. We walked over to the clubhouse together, holding hands, and finding reasons to bump against each other, both of us appreciating whatever contact we could manage to get. Brenda waited outside for me as I took a quick shower, and changed back into the pants and shirt I'd played golf in. I got a bag from the locker room attendant to put my tennis shorts, socks and shirt into. I gave him fifty cents as a tip. Mr. Chalmers had explained to me the way members were supposed to tip for those kinds of extra services. I hoped fifty cents was enough. When I came outside, Brenda asked how long it was going to be before Hans came to get us. I told her he should be there in about ten minutes. "Do you want to go see where Richard and Claudia got in trouble?" She smiled at me when she asked me. I did want to, but I didn't want to take a chance on making Hans have to wait. "Let's walk out towards the entrance instead. We will meet Hans there and save him having to drive up to the clubhouse." I think Brenda was disappointed at my lack of adventure, at least until I grabbed her and ducked into the trees about halfway to the entrance to the club. We kissed for another minute, but just kissed. We ran back out to the road after and went out to the entrance to wait for Hans. When we were settled in the back of the limo, I kissed Brenda again, but I think she was worried about Hans seeing us and saying something to someone. I wasn't worried. I didn't think Hans wanted to get me into any trouble. The ride to Brenda's house was too short. As soon as she hopped out of the limo, I felt a small sense of loss. Feeling even that slight sense of loss was very unusual for me. I remembered a feeling much like that when I said goodbye to Maria at the orphanage. It was similar, but not quite the same. I think it was right then, as I watched her retreating figure, that I first began to realize that I was falling in love with Brenda. The realization scared me more than a little. Brenda and I were from two different worlds. We had very little in common when it came to our shared memories and our childhoods. I had escaped my childhood, at least for awhile, but I didn't have any idea of all of the thousands of reference points that Brenda had to fall back on from hers. What if I started to love her, and all she was able to do was like me? I knew that we'd have fights when we got together. She was feisty, competitive and combative. I was way out of my league with her, both from who I was, and from what I knew. She wanted a rich man, and I was the farthest thing from one. I knew I was reaching too far for my grasp. I had to pull back, protect myself from the pain that pursuing her would inevitably cause me. When you've never had anything to treasure, not even a memory, it is impossible to realistically dream of happy endings. To believe in happy endings is even less possible. I rode home from Brenda's expecting that I'd ultimately fail with her. Not failing wasn't an option that I could believe in. Not believing you can succeed is the road to failure. I had spent a number of years walking down that road. People like me didn't love, didn't deserve to be loved. For me to even kiss Brenda was a form of stealing. By the time Hans pulled up into that circular driveway, I'd already convinced myself to give up this crazy pursuit I'd started. If Bea was too good for me, I was just fooling myself by even hoping for Brenda. I got out of the limo and walked into the house. When I saw Mr. Chalmers standing in the entranceway, I was very surprised. I turned around and saw his car out in the circle. We'd passed right by it, and I hadn't even noticed. I turned back, acknowledging his greeting. "Hello, Kenny. I was just leaving, so I'm glad you got here before I left. Bertie is upstairs. She tells me that she had a marvelous time with you, Georgia and young Brenda today. She also claims you shot a ninety one from the ladies tees. I tip my hat to you. I doubt I've ever scored a ninety one, not for eighteen holes at least. Bertie also told me that you and Brenda are becoming something of an item over at the club." "I know what you are going to say. Don't worry, I already know." "Really? How wonderful it must be to be able to anticipate so well. Shall we go to Bolling or not?" "To the orphanage again?" "So I've been told. I have business there at the courthouse, and Bertie wondered if I could drop you off there tomorrow." "Can I take some of my new things with me?" "I thought you only wanted to spend an hour or two. Bertie didn't tell me you had requested a longer visit." "Visit?" "Didn't you ask Bertie this morning if you could go visit the orphanage for an hour or two? She asked me to drive you up when I go tomorrow, and then bring you back here. What did you think I meant?" I just looked at him, unable to speak because of how relieved I felt. "Kenny, tell me what you thought." "That you decided to send me back." My voice was quiet, but I felt pressure in my ears as I spoke. "Why would you ever think that? Bertie was positively glowing when she bragged about all your accomplishments. Why would she or I ever want to send you away?" "I don't know why. People don't always need reasons. I thought it was because of Brenda. Maybe her mother said something to Mrs. Parsons about what I said before to Brenda." "I don't think anything like that happened, Kenny, and even if it did, that wouldn't be the end of the world. She might talk with you about it, maybe ask you to refrain from that in the future, but she'd never send you away for anything like that. No, she would never send you away, period. You fail to appreciate what a fine match I've wrought. Two people, both of them perfectly suited to improve the other's situation. Bertie has so many advantages she can offer to you, in addition to her letting you straight into her loving heart; and you, you seem to have this uncanny knack of being able to help her out of her too frequent periods of depression. Everyone benefits. Even Tommy has come around about you now. He admits to me that you seem the perfect answer to reversing Bertie's skid of recent months. Tommy almost never reverses course, but he did so with you. I'm happy to admit you've made my life a lot easier. I worry so about Bertie, but not nearly so much now that you are here. Gerta sings your praises as well. No, my boy, I think your future is made here." "I think I'm falling in love with Brenda." I don't know why I blurted that out to him, but I did. "Must be that bedroom. When I was your age, and living in the room you now occupy, I fell in love with Brenda's mother. I hope your suit fares better than mine did." "She's too good for me, it will never work out." "Why do you believe that? I'm curious, because that was Georgia's excuse, Brenda's mother, she said I was too good for her when she broke off our dating. Of course, she went right out and married the very next man she found, Brenda's father." "Look at her, and her family, and then look at me. I don't even know anything about my parents. Brenda says she wants to marry a rich man, I'm not rich." "A little too early for either of you to be thinking of marriage, Kenny, but as to the rest of it, pure crap, if I might coin a phrase. I've had you investigated, thoroughly, including all known childhood diseases. You are bright, healthy and of a quick and determined mind. While I can't claim to know much about your genetic lineage, you do have good teeth, and a pleasant smile. You'll grow taller, always an advantage, and you are destined to be an attractive man, at least as much as anyone can guess those things, just by judging from your current overall appearance. We both know you have terrific eyesight, and shooting ninety one at the country club course, after barely more than a month of lessons and playing, that speaks well for your athletic potential. Good eye and hand coordination always translates well to almost all sporting endeavors. Taken all together, an impressive package, certainly not one to be ashamed of." "I'm not rich." "Not yet. However, you are well sponsored, and well thought of by all of us as well. Wealth is mostly a state of mind, at least it is once you've achieved a certain level of it. Tommy is finding that out now. For him, it is sure to be a big disappointment. I told him thirty years ago that money wasn't the end all and be all, but he's never believed me. On Tuesday, he'll find out that I was always right about it. He'll wake up with an extra twenty million in his personal account, and find his life completely unchanged by it. The man has been rich for many many years and could never see it. Money is a tool. Tommy could never see that it didn't matter who owned the tool, not as long as all of us had the use of it. I'll tell you the same thing I told Tommy thirty years ago, Kenny, you're already rich. You lack for nothing. Still, it is human nature, I suppose. I always wished for Tommy's good looks, and his easy way with people. These are things he takes for granted, and places little value on. He's always placed a high value on, and wanted, the things I have, but value only slightly." "What about Mrs. Parsons?" "She is no exception I fear. To not have her weaknesses, and to be loved for herself. We all suffer from some lack, some insufficiency. The secret to happiness is in appreciating the good, and in working around the bad." "Is that what you do?" "No. I wish it were, but no. After a lifetime spent with my nose pressed against that candy store window, I've learned I'll never gain entry to get what I desire. I'm resigned to doing without that sweet, sweet candy, but resigned or no, I find myself still pressed against that window." "Do you mean girls?" "Ah. an indelicate question. Yes, that is indeed what I'm alluding to. But not just any girls. Like Bertie, I need to be loved for being me. Like Tommy, I've set myself a single, narrow path to obtaining my greatest desire. Like Tommy too, I believe that, if I ever obtained my goal, it would cure a lifetime of doing without. Unlike Tommy, I'm no closer to finding out whether my belief is correct or not." "Why don't you change your path then? If all you want is to find a girl to love you, why not find a girl, and then trade her what she wants for what you want?" "You're thinking of me tempting someone with my wealth, are you not?" "Your tool, you mean? Didn't you just tell me that money was a tool? How come it's any different for you, than it was for Mr. Parsons?" "Explain." "Didn't you give Mr. Parsons something to marry your sister?" "I see where you are going with this, but it was a much different proposition. Tommy had a lot to offer to all of us, not just to Bertie. We didn't buy him, we lured him with incentives. We wooed him on many different levels. We offered him a very favorable entry into our company, as well as our friendship, my father's and mine, both personal and professional. We offered all of this, as well as Bertie herself. There were so many attractive features to our offer. Bertie already had a big crush on Tommy, and he liked her well enough as well. Tommy knew what he was getting, and what was expected from him, and he wanted all of it. It was an arrangement designed from the outset to benefit all four of us." "You arranged it?" "I suggested it first, but we all made changes, all through, from beginning to end, it was a completely open negotiation. In the end, we were all agreed, and that arrangement has stood until this day. If I had my way, it would keep standing, but I've promised Bertie. She demands a divorce." "What does Mr. Parsons want?" "I'm not really sure. I think he is willing if that is what Bertie wants. They've grown apart." "She thinks he doesn't love her." "She is probably right. Loving her wasn't part of the agreement though." "She said you told her that he would eventually love her." "I may have done. During one of her dark periods, I might have said that to try to restore her spirits. There were times when I had a more optimistic outlook than now." "He is very fond of her, he told me that." "A world of difference between fondness and love. A painful chasm, as I'm all too aware." "Were you ever in love with anyone?" "Shall I stop by for you at eight tomorrow? Birdie said she'll call to cancel your lesson with Dave if you go with me tomorrow. I wouldn't mind some company." "Are you going to tell me?" "I was, several times, but it was never returned." "I'll be ready at eight. Will we get back in time to play a little golf? I think I can beat you now." "We'll have to see. Probably, but no promises. Bertie told me that you might want to take some presents with you when you visit. If you do, we should have time for some shopping in Bolling." "What could I get? I don't know what they want." "What would you have liked if someone had visited you bearing gifts?" "Balls. Dodge balls, tennis balls and volleyballs. Maybe some new baseballs too." "I know a great place that sells them. It's right on the way too." We said goodbye, and I watched as he drove away. I felt better, but I still had big doubts and worries. I wondered if Brenda was fooling herself about what money would do for her, the same way Mr. Chalmers said Mr. Parsons had. I wasn't thinking that much about money, and I had a lot less than both of them. Up in my room, I thought about Mr. Chalmers, and what he had said about wanting what he didn't have, and not valuing what he did have. I think everyone is like that, at least a little. Gerta and Hans seemed content though. I wondered what they wanted that they didn't already have. I was thinking about those things when Bea walked into my room. "We're eating at seven tonight. Gerta says she's making something special for you. What did you do to get on her good side this time?" "I don't know. I guess she's happy that Mrs. Parsons is doing all right." "Let me tell you, kid, I'm happy too. Less work for me, trying to follow her around and clean up after her messes. Maybe I should find some way to thank you too?" "Getting lonely again already?" "Bored, mostly. Plus, I've still got a few things to teach you." "Bea, tell me what makes Mr. Chalmers creepy to you?" "Look at him, kid. He's old, fat, getting bald, dresses like he doesn't care about how he looks, and he has this way of looking at me that makes my skin crawl. He's just too creepy." "He's a real nice guy." "So what? The world is full of nice guys. Most of them are creeps just like the big guy." "What about all of his money? Doesn't that make up for all the other stuff?" "Not to me it doesn't. Just think what someone would have to do to get some of it. I'd rather make a whole lot less, giving it up to some halfway decent looking guy. Mostly, they all pay the same, so why not go with the lookers if you can? I can." "Was Mr. Parsons a looker?" "He's old, but not bad for his age. I bet he was good looking in his day. Plus, he has a way about him, he's attractive with the way he talks, and he's smooth too. He's a dud in the rack, but then most guys are, if you ask me." "Why is he a dud?" "No imagination, no passion. With him, it's just do it and roll over. He not only doesn't ask how it was for you, he doesn't care. I tried to get him to eat my little hairy pie once, and I was afraid he was going to puke on me. The man is selfish. You can't be selfish, not and still be any good in the sack. I've tried to teach you that." "What kind of woman would like Mr. Chalmers?" "A blind woman? I don't know. Someone who didn't care much about personal appearance. There are women like that. Find one that talks about man's inner beauty. Maybe some old hippie woman from the sixties. The only other kind I could think of would be someone crazy like Mrs. P., I think a crazy woman would just like anyone to listen to her." "What about someone like you, only older? Someone who was tired of doing that, someone who wants to settle down and live quietly." "You mean a whore? Yes, I've heard girls in the life who are always talking about settling down with someone. I don't see that kind of girl for him though. In the first place, he likes them young and luscious, like me. When you're out with him, watch closely, see the women he looks at. Those are the ones he'd be interested in. He's definitely an ass man too. I'd say no one over thirty, not unless she's in real good shape. Nice ass, and he also likes the brassier type of woman, not the quiet ones. It would be so easy to find him a gold digger, but he'd see right through her unless she was a real pro. Kid, I'm telling you, go find some forty year old Hippie chick, one who only eats rice and soy beans. Some of them look pretty good for their ages. Hippie chicks aren't usually prudish either, so they will know how to take care of him in that department. Maybe you need to find an old hippie that's a little crazy, and who's in a lot of financial trouble. That's about the best advice I can give you. Why do you even care about fixing him up?" "He's a nice guy who did me a really big favor." "He had his own selfish reasons. Don't kid yourself about that. These people, they don't do anything unless there's something in it for them." "Whatever their reasons were, it has worked out good for me. You too if you'd just think about it." "I'm not arguing about it. I lucked out. If you asked me nice to be friendly with the fat guy, I'd do it. He's nowheres near the worst I've ever been friendly with. It isn't something I'd want to do for no reason or payoff though. As a favor to you though, I would." "I'll ask him if he wants to. You could use my room when I was out golfing with Mrs. Parsons." "Which leaves the matter of what you'd do to repay my favor. Do you have any suggestions?" She reached out as she said that and tried to grab my dick. "Not that. I have some money." I pulled away from her, scooting over to the other side of my bed. "I don't need your money, kid. You scratch my itch, and I'll take care of his. Even swap, that's my offer." "No deal. I already told you that I'm through taking lessons." "And I already told you that I have a lot more to teach you. You should mind your teacher. Didn't those nuns teach you that? It doesn't matter. I see you aren't interested in poor little Bea's problems. I'll make you another deal then. Remember Carol? If you bring her here for an afternoon, I'll take the fat guy to a place he's never been before. He'll leave your room, bowlegged and knock kneed both. You have to be the one to tell Carol what's what though. I won't do my end if she decides not to play ball." "No. I think I'll find another way. Thank you for your suggestions, Bea." "Look, all you have to do is just forget to lock your door tonight. I'll be in and out in an hour, maybe less. No one needs to ever know. It'll be our little secret. I'll do you that favor with the fat guy, just as soon as you want me to." "Bea, I don't know why you suddenly want me so bad. I know it isn't me. So, what is it?" "The challenge, kid, just the challenge. I wanted to see if I could talk you into it. A girl likes to know she still has it. Forget I said anything about it. If you change your mind, and want me to give the fat guy the time of his life, you know where I'll be. Only for another month and a week. After that, I'm long gone." "I liked it better when we were friends, and could just talk. I could use your advice about Brenda." "My advice is play the field. You're too young to get tied down with her. If you did what you wanted, she'd come around to it. She isn't this delicate, sheltered flower that you think she is. She knows what her little moneymaker is for, believe me. By the time she's as old as Carol she'll be a lot more experienced. Not as much as me, but more than Carol. Carol never gave it up until earlier this year. She was eighteen. I bet Brenda loses hers before she turns sixteen. She was willing to let you play with her pussy before you chickened out. What is she, fourteen? That's young for most girls. She comes from a good family, she doesn't have to scratch for everything like I did. You look down on me, Kenny, but I'm not so much different than those other two. I just never had the luxury of being able to say no every time I was asked." "You have it now, Bea, you can say no now if you want to. You're young, and very pretty too. It would be easy for you to find some nice college guy and make a whole new start." "Boring. That's not the life for me. I'd be sick of all of it after a month, make that two weeks. I told you, I like fun, and a lot of action. Maybe I'll travel out west and try my luck. Ask the fat guy if he's willing to buy me a plane ticket to Los Angeles and give me a thousand bucks to get started out there. Tell him I'd shack up with him for two whole nights before I left." "No, I'm not going to tell him something like that. He probably already knows he could offer you some money if he wanted to do that. You should do it, if you want to, just because you're grateful for what he did for you. Even then, I don't think he'd do it." "If I did it, it would be business, and I'd need to be paid some way. I already told you how you could pay his tab. I never give freebies anymore." "How about me then? Wasn't I a freebie?" "No way. I gave you what you wanted and you took care of my itches. That was a trade, kid. He can't get the job done like you could. There's something about you that makes my motor start running. Maybe because you're such an innocent. Whatever it is, I liked it." Bea smiled at me, blew me a kiss and walked out of my bedroom. She had just spelled things out for me in a way that I never would have guessed. For Bea, every personal exchange was only a transaction of some kind. I looked at my watch. It was almost six o'clock. I went and took my shower, then dressed for dinner. I hadn't made any plans with Brenda for the next day, but I thought I should call her and let her know I was going out of town with Mr. Chalmers. "Hi, I just wanted to tell you I'm going to visit my old orphanage tomorrow. Mr. Chalmers is taking me with him. I needed the rest anyway, after all that running you made me do." "Did you have a good time after we stopped practicing?" "Yes. Did you?" "Yes. Did you do anything when you got home?" "No, probably because I was worried about something else." "What?" "I'm not sure. It just seemed like things were going too good. With you, and with everything. When good stuff happens to me, it makes me worry." "I'm good stuff?" "The best stuff of all. That scared me the most, because I really like you a lot. Suppose you don't like me as much as I like you? I never did this before, with a girl. I don't know what to do to not make something bad happen. Bea came in my room before, after I got done with Mr. Chalmers." "Did you do things with her?" Brenda sounded really worried when she asked me that. "No, we just talked. She came to tell me what time dinner was, and we started talking. I was asking her why she thought Mr. Chalmers was creepy." "He is. When my mother said that about him, about dating him before she met daddy, I nearly lost it. Imagine, if he was my father, what I'd look like?" "That doesn't seem to bother you when you imagine that he's my father." "That's different, because if he is your real father, you still came out looking just like you. If he was my father, I wouldn't look like I do now." "So, what was your favorite thing you did today?" "You know." "I don't. Tell me, and then I'll tell you." "I'm not going to say it, but it rhymes with city." "Titty?" "No, and don't call them that. It's rude." Titty is only one. Both are called titties." "That wasn't my favorite anyway. You already know what I liked best." "The kissing?" "I'm not going to say it, Kenny. What was your favorite part?" "That shot I hit on the eighth hole. Remember I had to hit it over that big tree and it landed on the green. That was a really nice shot." "I'm going to hang up on you." "Kitty. Here kitty, kitty, kitty." "Did you lose your cat?" "I sure did, you haven't seen my kitty have you?" "Maybe, what does she look like?" "I don't know. I think she has copper hair, and she's very soft." "Nope, I haven't seen her. The only kitty I saw today has red hair." "Really? When you pet her, does she purr?" "When I pet her she purrs a little, but when my friend petted her, she purred a lot. After I came home, I tried to make her purr like that, but she wanted my friend to do it some more." "Some kitty's need to be kissed as well as petted. Is your red haired kitty like that?" "She's too shy for kissing, but she likes being petted a little." "I wish I could come over there and pet her, but now I have to go find my snake before he spits up all over my dinner clothes." "I don't like snakes." "Are you sure? My snake likes to be petted. He's being bad now, so I'm going to take him somewhere and punish him." "Don't be too rough on him, Kenny. I need to give my kitty another bath, she's all wet again anyway. I wonder what Claudia is doing? I really should call her." "I'll call you when I get back tomorrow. Keep that kitty purring until I see you again." "I will. I've been petting her a little bit already. I better go if I'm going to get her clean before supper." "Bye." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 15 I was up a little before six thirty the next morning. I ate in the kitchen with Gerta and Hans, telling them a little bit about St. Cecelia's, and how my life had been when I still lived there. Gerta waited until I was finished telling them about it before asking me why I wanted to go back, even for a visit? I told her about Marie, sister Clara, and some of the kids that I had gotten along all right with. "I want to go back so I can tell them how lucky I am now. Not to make them feel bad about how they still live, just to let them know that something good happened to me, and it might happen to them too. Marie will be happy for me. She always treated me nice, and made sure I got plenty to eat." "Then you ask this Marie to come here to visit Gerta sometime. Tell her I'll make for her something special for being good to you. Did you enjoy the baked lobster last night? It was good, no?" "Yes, it was very good. I ate all of mine, and most of Bea's. She doesn't like lobster. I liked the oyster stuffing too. Mrs. Parsons said that's your own recipe. She told us she's never eaten better lobster anywhere. Thank you for making it." "Shatze, for you, it was a pleasure. You are a good boy. Even my Hans likes you, and he doesn't like any young people. He said you helped him with the golf things yesterday, when his back was aching. Am I right, Hans?" "Ja, he's a goot boy. Even if he does steal the kisses from all the Frauleins in mein car." Hans laughed, winking at me to show he was only kidding. Mrs. Parsons came downstairs then, and I went into the dining room to keep her company while she ordered her breakfast. She only wanted a single poached egg, and some coffee. When Gerta brought her order, there was a slice of coffee cake alongside the egg. Mrs. Parsons thanked her, and didn't say anything about the coffee cake. "Kenny, I left an envelope in the library for you last night, did you get it?" "No, I haven't been in there yet. Should I go get it now?" "Yes. There's some money in case you wish to purchase some gifts for the other children at your former home. If it should prove insufficient for your needs, ask Bunny to lend you whatever else might be required." "Thank you. Mr. Chalmers told me he knew a good place to buy what I want to get for them. He said we can stop off on our way." I stood up and excused myself to go to the library. I found the envelope on the table next to the chair I usually sat in when I watched television. My first name was written on the front of it. I opened it up, and there were four fifty dollar bills inside. I took the envelope back to the dining room. "This is too much money. I only want to get a few things for the playground." "Kenny, you need to get used to handling money. If you have funds left over, keep it to use for other expenses that crop up. A man always has uses for currency. If you go somewhere, it often comes in very handy, and avoids awkward situations. Bunny has discussed with me the need for you to have your own weekly income for any incidental expenses you might incur. Do you think a weekly allowance of twenty five dollars will suffice? If not, we'll talk, and find an amount that is adequate for your needs." "Thank you. I'm not used to having any money. Mr. Parsons gave me money before, before he knew you had arranged for me to sign for things at the country club." "Did he? He said nothing about this to me." "Do you want me to give the money back to him? I still have almost all of it." "No. Of course not. I was surprised that he would think of doing that, that's all. Keep the money, Kenny. He wouldn't have given it to you if he didn't want you to have it." Just then, Mr. Chalmers came in the dining room, with Bea following behind him. It was still only seven thirty, so Mr. Chalmers let himself be persuaded to have a large piece of coffee cake and a cup of coffee. Bea ordered some bacon and eggs, with toast and coffee. She said good morning to each of us, individually, first to Mrs. Parsons and then Mr. Chalmers, before finally coming to me. "So Kenny, did you sleep well? I heard you're off visiting today, and I just wondered if you were too excited to get your rest?" "Thank you Bea, I did sleep well. That's what's so nice about having a room that's all my own. No one is close by me, waking me up when they cough or snore. At the orphanage, some of the kids used to have bad dreams at night, and they would make noises, waking the other kids up." Bea was trying to get me talking for some reason, but I didn't know why. I was worried that she might say something to make me look bad in front of Mrs. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers. "Did you have bad dreams too, Kenny? I'm sure it must have been hard, living like you did." "It was all I ever knew before, Bea. I didn't really know any other way. It would be harder for me now." "Well, don't sweat it, kid, from what I'm seeing around here, you don't have to worry about having to go back there. Except for visits like today." Bea was looking at me strangely. I wondered what she was trying to tell me. "Do you want to come with us, Bea? I can show you around the orphanage if you'd like." "Not my cup of tea, Kenny. I wouldn't mind a ride over to Bolling though, if Mrs. Parsons doesn't need me today? There are some things I need to buy." "That would be fine Bea, if Bunny doesn't mind having another passenger?" "Certainly, Bea, you are very welcome to come along. Where would you like us to drop you?" "Anywhere downtown, Mr. Chalmers. I'm just going to do a little shopping and maybe take in a movie, and have some lunch. When will you be coming back here?" "I'm not really sure. I have business at the courthouse, and I need to see about something at the county clerk's office. I think I'll be done by noon at the latest. I'm afraid that doesn't leave too much time for all that you might have wanted to do." "We might go to the club and play some golf, if we get back in time. Maybe you could take your swim suit, and see if Carol is at the pool today?" "I'd need some time to get my things together. Can you wait ten more minutes?" Bea was finishing off her breakfast. When she finished and stood up, both Mr. Chalmers and I stood up too. When Bea left, we both sat down again. "Bunny, you be careful. You know what I'm alluding to." Mrs. Parsons said that, and waited for Mr. Chalmers to acknowledge having heard her. "I'm not a child, Bertie, and I'm certainly not someone who needs to be warned about the obvious. We'll all be careful, won't we, Kenny?" "Yes sir. Careful of what?" I looked over at Mrs. Parsons, since she was the first one to bring up being careful." "Driving, Kenny. I just wanted him to make sure he didn't take any unnecessary risks on the drive over or back. It isn't that long a drive, but I feel so much better knowing that Bunny is aware of the need for caution." Mrs. Parsons hadn't taken her eyes off of her brother this whole time. It looked to me that he didn't like being told to drive carefully. I'd driven with him before, and he seemed careful enough to me. I'd say he was a good driver. "Perhaps you'd like to come along with us, Bertie? That way you'd be certain that I'd observed all of the rules of the road." "Bunny, I'm not really that fearful. It's natural for me to be a little bit worried. Let me enjoy a mother's concern." We all got up from the dining table, Mr. Chalmers and I moving to the front door. Mrs. Parsons came over and gave me a tight hug, and told me to enjoy my visit with my friends. She kissed her brother on the cheek, and said something to him that I couldn't quite make out. He said something back to her, and she laughed, and patted him on his chest. Bea was ready by then, and came out to the front door too. Mrs. Parsons didn't say anything to her, or give her a hug either. Once we were all in the car, Bea and Mr. Chalmers in front, and me in the back seat, Bea started talking to Mr. Chalmers. She asked him if her court hearing was still scheduled for the same date, and when he told her it was, she asked him if there were any possibility of being released a little bit early. She told him she was thinking about going out to California as soon as she was released by the court, and wondered if he knew anyone there that might help her to find a new place to live. "I really don't know anyone out there, Bea. I've had some business dealings with law firms out that way, but no one that I know well enough to ask for that kind of favor." "You know I'm willing to pay for any help. I'm not looking for any free rides here. Something along the same lines as the bargain I made with that other lawyer. You know, do a favor, get a favor? Kenny reminded me yesterday that I still owed you for the big favor you did me by bringing me out to your sister's house. If you want, I can pay you back today?" "Kenny, tell me that you aren't a party to anything as sordid as what she's proposing." Mr. Chalmers was all embarrassed. His face was red, and his way of talking seemed hurried, with the words coming out a lot faster than he normally spoke. I didn't know what to answer him. I had talked to her about it. I guess that meant I was a party to it. I didn't mean to make him embarrassed, or to have him get mad at the both of us. I saw the way he had stared at her butt before. It wasn't like he hadn't liked what he was seeing. I wondered what made it sordid? It seemed to me that it was a fair deal for both of them. Bea was very nice looking, and she really liked sex. To me, Bea was a perfect example of that sweet, sweet candy that Mr. Chalmers said he looked at in the candy store window. Why wasn't he happy instead of being upset? "She wants to say thank you, and this is the way she does that. Remember that tool you were telling me about, money? This is Bea's tool. I don't think it's sordid at all. What would be sordid, would be for you to make her feel bad about offering to be nice to you." "What makes it sordid, Kenny, isn't the offer, it is the relationship, how I became involved with Bea in the first place. I am an officer of the court. I assumed a role with Bea, similar to the role I accepted with you. If I were to avail myself of her very generous offer, I would be guilty of victimizing her, in exactly the same way that those others did. Bea is under the umbrella of my protection, and I won't do anything that might harm her in that regard." "Too bad for you then, Bea is very good. I bet she would be the best you ever found for sex. She really likes it." "You should listen to the kid, big guy, because today could be your lucky day. Since he and I discussed this yesterday, I've been seeing you in a whole new light. At first, I wasn't sure about it, but now I'm looking forward to expressing my gratitude to you. Also, I'm very horny right now. Kenny cut me off a few days ago, and I'd be doing this partly for myself. You have to admit, what I have to offer is better than the usual fare you might get a chance at. You won't be sorry, I guarantee it." "I'm sorry, Bea. I simply cannot be a party to it. It violates almost everything I believe in." "Given the nature of this conversation, do you think it's all right if I call you Bunny?" Mr. Chalmers nodded to her that it was. "Okay Bunny, this only violates anything if that is how you choose to look at it. I've got something here that I know you've looked at, thought about, and wished for. Why not make your wish come true? You aren't going to hurt my little moneymaker, bigger men than you have tried. When are you ever going to get another chance at someone who looks like I do? Never. We both know that. It would be different if you were like those other creeps, making me do this in order to stay out of prison, but you aren't. This is me offering it to you freely. Not to be crass, but I'm actually dripping right now in anticipation. C'mon, big guy, be a sport. Give a girl a taste. What do you say?" "Thank you. I really appreciate your kind offer. I must refuse however, Thank you though." A few minutes later, we pulled up in front of this sporting goods store, and Mr. Chalmers and I went in. Bea wanted to stay in the car, and Mr. Chalmers left the keys in so that she could listen to the car radio. We went inside, and I saw Mr. Chalmers go over and talk to this man for a minute, They shook hands and they talked for a few seconds before Mr. Chalmers signaled me with his hand to come over to him. "Kenny, this is Mr. Kiner. He owns this fine establishment. I told him why we have come here, and who will benefit from your generosity today, and he has been kind enough to agree to sell you whatever you choose to purchase at his own cost. What do you think of that?" "Hello Mr. Kiner. Nice to meet you. This is a great store. Thank you for what you are doing. We just want to buy some balls for the playground at St. Cecelia's." "Nice meeting you too son. Pick out anything you want to, and then bring it over to me, I'll ring it through for you. If you need anything else, you come back and see me. Any friend of Bunny's is always welcome here." It only took us about ten minutes. Every time I put one of something in the cart, Mr. Chalmers put another one or two of them in there. I bought some baseball gloves, and he bought some left handers too, plus he threw in two catcher's mitts and a chest protector and face mask. He bought six bats too. Before long we had a lot more stuff than I had wanted to get originally. I had about two hundred and fifty dollars, but I didn't think that would be enough. When we took the cart over to Mr. Kiner, he had got some things on his own, telling us it was old stock that he was tired of having to keep in the back. None of it looked old to me. It was mostly kids clothes, shirts and pants and shorts. There were about fifteen pairs of tennis shoes too, good ones. He looked over everything, but he didn't write anything down. He just put it all in about seven bags for us, telling me it came to one hundred forty six dollars. That didn't seem like a fair price, and it probably was way less than it all had cost him. Mr. Chalmers tried to pay for it, but I made Mr. Kiner take the money that Mrs. Parsons had given to me. While he went to get our change, Mr. Chalmers reminded me to thank him for being so generous. I would have anyway. We got everything loaded in the trunk and part of the back seat. We got in the car and drove over to the orphanage. When he had parked the car, right in the front again, Mr. Chalmers told Bea we'd only be a few minutes with Mother Superior. He told her we'd be back, then he'd help me unload, before taking her downtown to drop her off. I think Mother Superior was surprised to see me again. She didn't look that happy about it either. When Mr. Chalmers told her that I was doing well in my new home, letting her know also that we had bought her some new playground and baseball equipment, she got more friendly, and seemed very interested in finding out about what we'd brought. All three of us were on our way out to Mr. Chalmers car when sister Clara met us in the hallway by the refectory door. I surprised her by walking over and giving her a big hug. She had tried to be nice to me, and when I left before, I hadn't thanked her for packing my things, or for giving me the new toothbrush and toothpaste. "Kenny Masters, what brought that on? I've never known you to do anything like that before?" "I'm sorry, sister, I was just happy to see you again." "No, Kenny, don't ever be sorry for showing affection. I know that our Lord must have placed you in a good home if you've changed this much already. I've had you in my prayers since you left." I didn't know what to say to her, so I just stood there, smiling at her. Mr. Chalmers looked at his watch and told Mother Superior he had to be at the court house before ten o'clock. We went out, and with all four of us, we managed to bring in all of the gifts I'd brought. When she saw how much stuff there was, Mother Superior touched her big cross, and started her lips moving in a silent prayer. I guess it was her giving thanks for all of the stuff that we'd brought there. After everything was unloaded, Mr. Chalmers and I walked out to the car. He told me that he'd be back to get me sometime after twelve, telling me to stay out of trouble and have a good visit. Bea winked at me and smiled. "See you kid, be good." After they drove away, I went into the kitchen to see Marie. She was really surprised to see me. She was only about halfway through with cleaning up for breakfast, so I helped her. While we worked, I told her all about my new home, and about all of the people there. I told her what Gerta told me to tell her, inviting her to come see us whenever she got some time off. I told her about golf and tennis, and about ordering whatever I wanted to at the clubhouse restaurant, then just signing the bill for it. I knew she'd be real happy for me, and she was. She told me that no one ever came to help her anymore, not since I left. She said she hadn't realized how much my helping her had made things easier for her. We finished up the kitchen, and I helped her get the lunch meal started. They were having macaroni with hamburger. The hamburger was browned, then it was cooked in tomato sauce with onions and some other flavorings added. When I had lived there, that had been one of my favorites. It was so good to see Marie again, the time seemed to just fly by. Before I knew it, it was lunchtime, and all the kids came back from the school to eat. I helped Marie in the serving line, passing out bread and, later, passing out the second helpings. I knew almost all of the kids, and some of them had already heard about the balls and stuff I'd brought to them. I got a lot of kids who asked me questions, or just said hello to me, and even a few that said they missed having me there. Those were mostly the smaller kids, ones that I'd kind of looked out for back when I lived there. In an orphanage, the smaller kids couldn't really look out for themselves. The bigger kids would take their food, and anything else they had, anything the bigger kids wanted for themselves. I tried to see that it didn't happen much when I got the chance to stop it. Living in an orphanage was no fun anyway, and that was without having to worry about having your food and other stuff taken. Mr. Chalmers and Bea didn't get back to pick me up until after three thirty. Mr. Chalmers apologized for being so late, saying that things took a lot longer than he had anticipated. He was blushing when he apologized. Bea turned around right after we got going, asking me whether I'd enjoyed my visit. She winked at me when Mr. Chalmers couldn't see her doing it, then turned around in her seat again. When we got back to the house, Mr. Chalmers said he didn't have time to come in because the trip to Bolling had been a lot longer than he'd planned on. He told me to tell Mrs. Parsons hello for him and to apologize to her for his being unable to stay and talk with her. "Goodbye, Bea." "See you later, big guy. Thanks for the lovely ride." When Mr. Chalmers drove away again, Bea let out a happy laugh. A triumphant laugh. "Jesus Christ kid, talk about finding a diamond in the rough. The fat boy really surprised me. You knew I would talk him into it, didn't you? He don't look like much, but that boy has all the right moves. I bet my little pussy pie has chapped lips, because if it was wet anywhere, he went and licked it dry. I wonder how long he's been saving it? I need a nice soak in the tub, I'm all wrung out." "How did you change his mind about it?" "Any man can say no if all you do is ask them. I just lifted up the hem of my dress and showed him what he was saying no to. It's all that hair down there. Men aren't used to seeing a big mop like that. As soon as they see it, they want mama to wash their faces with it. He never had a chance. He barely made it over to the courthouse and the clerk's office before they shut down. He can move fast when he wants to. I've got to admit it, I was wrong about him being creepy. How much you want to bet me that he's out here sniffing around after me by the weekend?" "He won't be. Big business meeting on Sunday in Chicago, and he's supposed to be with Mr. Parsons on Saturday, all day. Mr. Parsons won't be here either." "I guess that means you'll have to pay me then, kid. I did my part already." "No, I never agreed to that. I already told you I wouldn't." "Relax, kid. I'm yanking your chain. I'll tell you something else too, you shouldn't have come right out like that, telling him that you and I had bumped bellies. I had to listen to a real earful from the big guy about that. The funniest part of it was, while he was bawling me out, he had himself buried balls deep in my little cootchy. I would have told him off too, if I wasn't so busy holding on, trying not to bounce too high up on that damn bed. I won't say he's the best I ever had, but he is the most disguised good trick I've ever turned. Look at him. Can you believe someone who looks like him could ever be such a real hound for it? He is. He has one speed, and that's all out. I thought he was going to lick me clear down into the mattress. It was like I was a box of Cracker Jacks, and he was looking for the prize with his tongue." "Would you go out with him now? On a date?" "No, I still wouldn't want to date him, not out in public. If he sneaks into my room some night though, I wouldn't mind it. I expect him to come around too. He never got anything like this before, nothing like what I gave him today." We went inside together, but I veered off and went into the kitchen to see what Gerta was planning for dinner. Bea had said she wanted to take a bath, so I guess she went to do that. Gerta had a lot of questions for me about my visit to St. Cecelia's, and she asked me what Mr. Chalmers and Bea had done while they waited. I told her that Bea got dropped off while Mr. Chalmers took care of his legal business, and that he had taken longer than he expected to, so that was why he was late in picking both of us up. I told her that I hadn't minded waiting, because I was having a good visit with everyone. She asked me if Bea had behaved herself, so I told her I hadn't seen her from when they dropped me off until they came and picked me up again. She made me eat some cookies and milk to hold me until dinner at seven. I finished my snack, thanking Gerta for it. I told her that Marie had made hamburger and macaroni in tomato sauce while I was there. When I told her it had been one of my favorites when I was at the orphanage, she offered to make it for me soon. I told her not to do it, reluctantly admitting that I liked almost all of the things she now cooked for us better than the hamburger and macaroni. She told me that a cook was only as good as her ingredients. I think she was trying to make me feel better, because she could see that I felt bad about being disloyal to Marie's cooking. Before I left, she had me try one of her stuffed cabbages. It was real good, and I told her so. She smiled and told me to go rest up for dinner. I went up to my room and dialed Brenda's house. I figured she was probably at the club practicing, but maybe she was home already. "Hi, Kenny. Did you have a nice time?" "Yes. We bought a lot of sports stuff for the orphanage, then we took it over and gave it to them. Mother Superior looked happy, and she almost never looks happy. I saw a lot of my friends, and I got to help my friend Marie in the kitchen. The place hasn't changed much, and I'm really glad I don't live there anymore." "Did you miss me?" "I thought about you. I told my friend Marie about you. She thinks its good for me to start discovering girls. She told me to be careful though. She said some girls try to sink their hooks into good looking boys like me." "You aren't that good looking." "I know. She said it, I didn't." "I was only teasing. I think you're very nice looking." "I think you're beautiful." "I know I'm not. I wish I was. My boobs are too small, and I'm overweight besides. I eat too much, even when I know I'm already too fat." "I told you already what I think." "I forget. Tell me again." "You're not fat, not overweight anywhere, your boobs are just the right size, and I think your hair is absolutely gorgeous." "The red hair or the copper colored hair?" "I've only seen one of them." "True. Did you do anything when you got back home?" "No. I wasn't thinking about anything. Did you?" "I don't remember. I did call Claudia. She told me what she and Richard were doing when they got caught. She made me swear to never tell anyone else, before I could get her to tell me." "Too bad. Can you tell me if it was something worth the two of them being suspended for the whole summer?" "I can't tell you, but, if you guessed what they did, I'd tell you if you were wrong." "Isn't that the same thing as telling me?" "No. I can't help it if you guessed it." "Did it involve her kitty?" "No." "Did it involve his snake?" "Claudia told me it is more like a worm than a snake. Richard is apparently nothing like Bea's Herman." She started laughing, and that made me laugh too. "I knew that already though. Yours is a lot bigger than his." "How do you know?" "He's my brother. I've only seen it all of my life." "When was the last time, when he was eight?" "Maybe a month ago, when he walked out of the bathroom and walked to his bedroom. Richard likes to embarrass people, and that's one way he embarrasses me." "Why don't you tell your parents on him?" "I wouldn't want him to have that much satisfaction. I mostly refuse to acknowledge that he even exists. He's such a fool." "I'm not sure I like the idea of him doing that to you." "Are you jealous? Don't be. I can't stand him. He thinks he's the great football God, and that all of the girls will flock to his side to be seen with him. My dad encourages him to think that way too. He tells Richard how it was when he was such a big football star. My mother hates it when he talks about how all the girls were throwing themselves at him." "Are we going to practice our tennis tomorrow?" "Do you want to?" "We better. If we don't, we won't do very well. We probably won't do that well, even if we do practice." "We will if you do what I'm telling you. You have good speed, and you get to a lot of balls. We can tire them out, at least all the old ones. You keep hitting it back to them, and when they get tired, they'll make mistakes. We can't beat the best teams that way, but we can beat a lot of the others. You're already a lot better than when we started." "You should give me some motivation for us getting to the third round. I'll play harder if I have a reward at the end." "I'll give you a good kiss, a wet one, with my tongue." "A French kiss?" "That's what I said." "Will you let me do what Richard and Claudia got caught doing?" "No! Don't say that to me again either. You don't know what they did." "I assumed it had to do with Richard's little dick and Claudia's big mouth. Was it worse than that?" I heard the silence of a broken connection. She had hung up on me. What did I say? Bea had told me that all guy's liked blow jobs. I sure did. All she had to do was tell me she wasn't ready for that, or she didn't want to do that to me. What was the big deal? When Bea and I did stuff like that, it was to make each other feel good. I was starting to believe that this talking to girls was a mine field. You had to watch out wherever you stepped, if you didn't want the girl blowing up over something innocent you said. I waited in my room to see if she was going to call me back, but she didn't call me before it was time for dinner. Bea didn't come to the dining room for dinner, so it was Mrs. Parsons and me. I told her all about my day, the sporting goods shop, Mother Superior, Marie, sister Clara and all of the kids. She asked me several questions about whether Bea went in with us, and what Bea did while we were gone, but I told her Bea sat by herself in the car, and that Mr. Chalmers was worried about being late for his courthouse business. She didn't ask about why we were so late, and I didn't say anything about what Bea had told me. After dinner, I went into the library to watch some television, but I kept thinking about Brenda. If Bea had been around, I'd have asked her about why Brenda was mad at me. At nine o'clock, I went into the Kitchen, and got some more cookies from Gerta. I drank another glass of milk, and told her I'd see her in the morning. It was too late to call Brenda. I didn't even know if she was going to go practice tennis with me the next day. I finally decided to bring some tennis clothes and be ready if she was there. I'd bring my bathing suit too, in case she wasn't. I locked my bedroom door again, and got under the covers. I thought about what Bea had told me about her and Mr. Chalmers, and was thinking about Richard and Claudia too. I tried not to think about Brenda, but I did anyway. I was trying to imagine what her red haired kitty looked like, but then I needed to go to the bathroom to calm myself back down again. I decided I was playing with myself too often, deciding to try to cut back to three or four times a week. After I decided that, I also decided to do it once more, and then start my new, every other day discipline. I felt better when I went back to bed, knowing that I had a plan for cutting back. I had told Brenda that I only did that once, or maybe, twice in a month. I knew I couldn't cut back enough to make that the truth, but every other day was certainly reasonable. I finally got to sleep. I called Brenda's house the next morning at nine o'clock. Mrs. Connor came to the phone instead of Brenda. "Kenny, I'm sorry but she refuses to speak with you. Did you children have another little tiff?" "I'm not really sure. We were just talking, and she hung up on me last night. We're leaving for the country club soon, and I need to know if Brenda is still planning on practicing with me for Sunday's tournament?" "Why don't you just plan for it, and if she isn't there, you'll know she is still mad at you. I don't understand why it is you two have such a difficult time getting along with each other. It seems like every time I turn around, there's something new that has one or the other of you hopping mad." "It's because of sex, I think." "Kenny, is that something you need to be telling your girlfriend's mother? I don't think it is. You don't really mean sex anyway, do you?" "I don't know. Brenda is my first girlfriend, and I don't always know what I can say to her, or what I can't. When I make a mistake, she doesn't tell me what I did, she either gets mad and hangs up, or else she gets mad and refuses to be near me anymore. I'm getting tired of it too. How come she can't just tell me why she's mad at me?" "Kenny, I see your point, really I do, but you're dealing with a lot more than simple communication here. This is emotions, hormones, and a whole host of other things that are at work. Brenda is near the end of her woman's cycle right now, and she is more sensitive to things than she'll be by this time next week. Do you understand me?" "No. Can you go ask her about the tennis, please? I don't want to go over there and wait out in the heat if she isn't even going to be there." "If I ask her now, Kenny she'll say she won't be there, that she never wants to play tennis with you again. If I tell her that you called and sounded worried about her, she'll probably be there to practice tennis with you this afternoon. Knowing that, do you still want me to ask her?" I thought about it. I'm sure she knew Brenda better than I did. I knew me better than either one of them did. I was trying to change, to become more flexible, but I wasn't improved too much yet. I felt like telling Mrs. Connor to tell Brenda I was through with trying to understand her. Anybody else I knew, they would just tell me what I'd done wrong, and I'd try to do better after that. Even the sisters would always tell you first why they were mad at you. It wasn't too much to ask of Brenda. I didn't treat her that way. I almost said that, but then I remembered those times when we weren't fighting. When she made me feel so good about everything. "Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I'll be at the tennis courts at four o'clock. Tell her the French kiss is enough." "I'll tell her, Kenny. Don't ever ask her father to take these kinds of messages to her, or her brother either. I hope she'll be there at four o'clock. Goodbye." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 16 The next day, Mrs. Parsons and I went to the country club in her car. After my lesson, we played nine holes and then had lunch together. I hadn't played that well, and I felt a little upset about Brenda's hanging up on me, and her refusal to take my call that morning. It was two thirty, so I changed and went to the pool. Brenda was there, sitting with four other kids that I'd seen around the pool before. I went over and said hello to her, asking her if she wanted to start practicing early. "I don't think so. It's a nice day, and I'd rather stay here, talking with my friends." She didn't invite me to join in, or even to sit down with her and her friends. The way she talked to me made it seem like I was intruding on her by even coming over and speaking with her. I guess I got upset, and I know I was embarrassed by her casual dismissal of me. I turned and walked over to the other side of the pool, putting my towel on a lounge chair about fifty feet away from where she was. I sat back in the chair, pretending to be enjoying the sun, and the nice day. After fifteen minutes or so, Brenda decided to go swimming. When she got up and went into the water, one of the boys she had been sitting with decided to follow after her. I turned over, laying on my stomach, letting her know that I wasn't paying attention to her or her friends now. Inside, I was really mad at her. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. She never once explained why she got mad at me. I guess she thought I could read her mind. I heard her laughing and talking in the pool, but I refused to turn around to see what she was doing. By the time I just couldn't stand not looking anymore, I decided to get up, take my towel, and leave the pool area. I'd look over at Brenda in the pool, as I was leaving. That would look natural, not like I was trying to find out why she was laughing so much, or talking to that boy. When I did that, I saw the two of them standing in the water, up to Brenda's neck. They were about three feet apart, and he was saying something to her, something that she seemed happy to be hearing. I turned away and started for the pool gate. "Kenny, where are you going?" I turned around and looked at her. At first, I was going to just shout out something mean to her, but I decided not to. "I'm going to change and call Hans to come get me. I'll see you." "Don't leave yet. I think I've changed my mind about practicing. Meet me over at the tennis courts in fifteen minutes, okay?" "I don't think so Brenda, I think I'd rather go home now and talk with one of my friends." I walked over to the pool gate and went out. I had to walk over to the member's locker room and change clothes before I went upstairs to call Hans to come get me. When I got to the pay phones, Brenda was waiting for me. She was still in her bathing suit and had a towel wrapped around her too. "Why are you mad?" Brenda seemed upset that I thought I had a right to be mad too. I guess she thought mad was a one way street, and she was the only one entitled to get that way. When she hung up on me, I'd been mostly puzzled by it, although not too surprised that she'd do it. When she told her mother she didn't want to take my call that morning, I started being mad, but I didn't say anything to her mother about being that way. But this little display of hers by the pool was more than I was willing to swallow from her. She was about to learn that I didn't need her to be my friend, and wasn't willing to keep letting her always decide to turn the friendliness on and off all by herself. "I'm not that mad, I just decided I don't want to be your friend anymore. It's too hard trying to keep from making you mad, and when I do make you mad, you never tell me why. I'm going to find another friend, one who isn't so temperamental." "You know why I'm mad, it's because of what you said about me doing to you what Claudia did to Richard." "Okay. I'm sorry. Didn't your mother tell you I asked her to say I was sorry." "She said something like that, but you never said it to me. This isn't the first time you've said things like that to me either." "I'm sorry. I won't say things like that to you anymore." "Good. Quit pouting, let's go practice." "I'm going home. You go back to your friends. I told you I'm finished with being your friend." I stepped around her and put money in the coin box of the phone. When I got a dial tone, I called the house. When Gerta answered, I asked her to have Hans come get me. After I hung up, Brenda was still standing there. She was crying. I didn't want to watch her cry so I tried to step around her. Just as I was going past her, she hit me on my back. It didn't really hurt, not physically at least, so I just kept walking away from her, down the stairs, towards the path out to the parking lot. I didn't look back at her, or reply to any of the things she was yelling at me. When I got to the parking lot, I kept walking down the country club's driveway, towards the street below. I got there about five minutes before Hans got there to give me my ride home. All that afternoon and evening, I was a sour puss. I didn't even go in the kitchen to talk to Gerta or try to get a snack before dinner. I was sitting on my bed, listening to the radio, when my phone started ringing in a funny way. I picked it up, and it was Gerta telling me that I had a phone call. I asked her who it was, and she told me it was the Connor girl. "Tell her I don't want to speak with her." "Shatze, she's crying." "Good. I still don't want to talk to her." "I'll tell her you'll call her back?" "No. Don't tell her anything except I don't want to talk to her. Tell her I told you to ask her to quit calling me here." Gerta didn't say anything, and my line went dead, with no dial tone. I hung it up and tried to figure out why I was being like I was. I was acting like I really didn't want to speak with Brenda again, but I really did want to. I couldn't just tell her that I wanted her to stop doing what she always did whenever I made her mad. What I was doing was the only way I knew to make her see how much I didn't like her doing that all the time. At dinner, Mrs. Parsons and Bea were both asking me questions about Brenda. I knew that Gerta must have told them both about Brenda's call, and about my refusal to speak with her. I tried telling them both that I didn't want to discuss it with them, but Mrs. Parsons told me that she had a need to know about whatever situation I was in, that it was her duty. She asked me if I wanted to go somewhere private after dinner to tell her about it. "It isn't really anything. Brenda keeps getting mad at me, without ever telling me why she's mad. Today, I told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore." "This was before she called here?" "Yes. I went to the pool today, after you left, and Brenda was there talking to some people. When I went over to say hello, she said she didn't want to practice tennis today, and would rather talk with her friends. She made it plain that she wasn't including me as one of those friends, and that she didn't want to talk with me. It was only when I told her I didn't want to practice tennis with her, that she wanted to talk to me again." "You said she didn't want to practice." This was from Bea. Mrs. Parsons looked at her, like she was mad at her for speaking. "She didn't at first, but when she saw me leaving the pool, then she did want to." I answered Bea, because I didn't mind telling her about this too now. If I told her and Mrs. Parsons, I was sure one of them would know what I should do. Mrs. Parsons asked me why Brenda got mad at me in the first place. I knew she'd be mad at me if I told her what I'd asked Brenda for. I didn't want to lie to her though. "It was personal. I said something to her that made her mad." "Something you're ashamed of having said?" "No, I'm not ashamed. Maybe I shouldn't have asked her, but I'm not ashamed. She could have just said no. I've already told her I was sorry, several times. This isn't the first time she got mad at me without explaining why. That's why I'm mad. If I keep letting her do that, she'll just do it all the time." "He has a good point there. You know he does." Bea looked back at Mrs. Parsons. Even though she knew Mrs. Parsons didn't want her taking part in this discussion, Bea kept herself right in the middle of it. Mrs. Parsons stood up then. "Kenny, I don't think we're getting anywhere right now. It's obvious to me that you believe you have this situation in hand. Very well, we'll leave it at that. If you want or need my counsel, you need only ask for it." She turned around and left the dining room, heading for the staircase and her bedroom. After she was gone, Bea told me that I was definitely doing the right thing. "Kid, you don't ever want her thinking she's got you pussy whipped, and that's exactly how she's been acting so far. She feels "the power", and needs to find out there are limits to it. You'll teach her those limits this way. In fact, you didn't take it far enough. You should have told her off in front of those other friends of hers, let her know how it felt being talked down to in public. You're too nice to her. Women don't respect nice." "I don't want to make her more mad, Bea. I want her to stop getting mad." "You're doing the right thing, believe me. Let her think she's lost out on her chance of bagging you. When we were all at the pool before, it was so obvious that she thought she had you trained. She even told us about it. Her mother has been advising her too. It's all part of the con. She shows you a little something, and then pretends to not understand when you ask her for more." "I'm sure she likes me, Bea, from some of the things she did when she wasn't mad at me." "Because she kissed you and touched your wiener? Doesn't mean anything. She let you play with her little treasure?" "Only a little." "She's just baiting the hook, kid. That's how we all do it. She's interested, and maybe she does like you, but it's been on her terms so far, not yours. You need to change that, show her who the boss is. I told you yesterday you should play the field. It was good advice then, and it's even better advice now. Make her the one that's always a little bit off balance. Make her care about you more than you care about her." "Why can't it be equal?" "It just can't be. It never is. There always has to be one of you that cares more than the other. So far, it's been you, and you haven't been that happy. See how you like it when it's her that's always trying to get on your good side." I left Bea, going back up to my room. I locked my bedroom door, turning off my light. I liked the quiet that darkness always brings. I could think better in the dark because there were fewer distractions then. I thought about what Bea had said, but even if she was right about things, I didn't want to boss Brenda around. There were things about Bea that I didn't like. One of these things was the way Bea always needed to find an advantage over people. Bea didn't have any soft side. It would be hard to ever trust her. I felt the opposite about Gerta, Mrs. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers. Even Mr. Parsons did favors without having to be paid for them. In the dark, I started making a mental list of things I'd like to see changed in Brenda. The way she always talked about money and wanting to be rich was first on my list. Her thinking it was always okay for her to get mad, usually without ever explaining why. Her always wanting her own way, and expecting to get it. That was about it. There were so many things that I liked about her that I wasn't going to try to list them. She made me feel good when we were together, when she wasn't either mad at me, or talking about being rich, or marrying a rich person. I really hated the thought of not having her for my friend, but not as much as I hated the thought of letting her keep on doing the same thing to me over and over again. I knew that Bea was right about that one thing though. If I let her keep doing it, she wouldn't stop. I turned on my reading light by the bed, and got up to get undressed. I only had two people I could discuss this with, Mrs. Parsons or Bea. Neither one of them seemed right for helping me come to a good decision, or for finding a way to solve this without either me giving in, or Brenda being forced to change in a way I didn't want to make her change. I thought about Mr. Chalmers, but I didn't think he'd be able to help me make a good choice either. Really, of everyone I knew, Brenda was the one person I'd have the most faith in to help me find a way for us get along better. Not the Brenda that was mad at me, or the one that saw me as a possible rich catch. The other Brenda, the one I thought I loved. How could I get in contact with that Brenda? The next morning, I was up, cleaned and dressed before seven. I went into the kitchen and had my breakfast in there. Gerta seemed a little bit angry with me. I figured it was because of what I said about being glad about Brenda's crying. I told her that I really liked Brenda, but she kept getting mad at me every time we were together, or on the phone, and then she wouldn't tell me what I did wrong before she got mad. "She wasn't mad mit you when she called, mein liebchen. She was sad. Why you want to make her more sad?" "She makes me mad too. I tried to make up with her, but she didn't want to. She expects me to be nice to her, but she doesn't have the same rules for her being nice to me." "Call her, tell her why you're upset. Ask her what she will do about that. To be mad back, it solves nothing for either one." "The way she is, Gerta, if I called her, she wouldn't talk to me, and that would just make me mad at her again." "I'll call her. You sit there and eat your breakfast. I'll tell her she better talk to you. She will do it." Gerta picked up the telephone, and I went back to eating my pancakes. She was on the telephone for a long time. It didn't sound like she was talking to Brenda. After about five minutes, she hung up the phone. "Now we wait. Florence will talk to her, then Brenda will call you." "Who's Florence?" "She is like me, a cook and in charge of housekeeping for the Connor family. She doesn't have a husband, or any other help over there. Sometimes, we talk, or go out to a movie together. She is very nice for an American woman." Gerta and Hans had been in America for over forty years. Both were American citizens, but only on paper. In their hearts, they were German. I'd have to say this was more true of Hans than Gerta, but she said things like that all the time too. It wasn't political with either of them, it was more they believed everything German was just naturally better, and German things were their standard for excellence. They had come to America, separately, in their teens, both of their mothers having gotten remarried to American GI's after World War II. Neither Hans or Gerta had wanted to leave Germany, but had been forced to do so because of their ages. They had met shortly after Gerta came to the U.S., and had fallen in love soon after, and been married. Their original plan had been to marry, find work, and save up the money to return to their native homeland. Gerta had gotten a job in the Chalmers household first, hired to do housekeeping, and some fill in cooking for the regular cook on her days off. Hans was hired later to assist the regular family retainer who had gotten too old to continue caring for the upkeep on the vehicles, the house and the grounds. As the years passed, and their responsibilities grew, their planned return to Germany kept being postponed, until it was now planned as something they'd do when they both retired. Mostly, they talked about it now, each of them knowing that it was more a fantasy than something that would ever be realized. America was their home now, and had been for over two thirds of their lives. They wouldn't ever admit it to each other, but neither wanted to leave their adopted country any longer. The phone rang, and Gerta picked it up. I had been sitting in the kitchen, talking with Gerta after I'd finished my breakfast, and she had been telling me about the new brochures she had gotten depicting an area of Germany that she and Hans were considering for their retirement years. I heard her speaking on the phone for a minute, then she signaled to me that the call was actually for me. I pointed towards the living room, meaning I'd take it in there, but she put her hand over the receiver and told me it would be better if I took it in my room instead. I left the kitchen and ran upstairs to my room. I lifted up my phone and I heard Gerta talking to Brenda. I didn't want to eavesdrop, so I told Gerta I was on the line. "Kenny, why are you being like this?" Brenda launched right into her attack, still trying to make it seem like it was me that was being unreasonable, that she was the victim. "Is this the only reason you called me, Brenda? If it is, I don't want to keep fighting with you." "I'm not the one who's fighting, Kenny, you are. I don't even know why you're upset with me. Flo said that you wanted to talk to me, that's why I called you." "Flo must have made a mistake. I told Gerta that I was unhappy that I'd lost you for a friend. I think she was hoping to get us back to talking again, thinking we could work our problems out." "I want that too." "I don't want to be friends with you anymore, Brenda, not the way you do things. You only want to be friends when I'm doing exactly what you want me to do. When I make a mistake, you get mad, and then you do something to punish me, without even telling me why you're mad." "I don't have to tell you, it's obvious." "Not to me it isn't. Why did you hang up that last time?" "I already told you at the club. That thing you said about me doing what Claudia did for Richard." "Why didn't you just tell me no, rather than getting mad and hanging up?" "Because I was mad. It's the same thing every time with you, Kenny. You do something, and then pretend you don't see anything wrong with what you've done." "Bea told me that you're just playing a game with me, doing what your mother tells you to try to get me trained to do what you want." "She's crazy then. I'm trying to get along with you, but you make it hard, because you're always saying or doing things that you aren't supposed to. I do talk to my mother, but she's on your side half the time, like right now. She says I need to have more patience with the things you say, but she doesn't know all the things you've said, or what you've done to me already. She still thinks we're arguing about what kind of kissing we'll do." "I told you before, that I don't know anything about how to get along with girls. You shouldn't get mad if I do something wrong, you should just explain to me so I can learn better." "You already learned all about girls from Bea." "I only learned about sex from Bea, and about her ideas on how to do things. I never felt the way about Bea that I do about you. She doesn't have the power to make me feel bad like you do. I don't love her." I heard Brenda gasp into the phone. She didn't say anything for awhile, but I heard her breathing, so I knew she was still there at least. My heart was beating faster because I'd just given Brenda information that she could use to crush me. I hadn't meant to tell her that, not until I'd gotten to a point where I thought I could trust her to not use that against me. I'd gone ahead and done what I'd always promised myself I'd never do, I'd made myself vulnerable to someone else. "Does that mean you love me?" Brenda's voice had lowered. She spoke to me in a different way, maybe less guarded, but certainly not with any kind of anger. "I want to love you, but you make it hard to do." "Kenny, if you did love me, I'd try not to get mad at you, I promise. If I really thought you loved me, those things you say to me would seem different, less scary to me. I'm not saying I'd want to do any of them, not right away, and I thought that was what you were trying to talk me into before. If you loved me, it would be different." "I'm not sure if I love you, only that it is a lot different feeling I have with you than with Bea. I know I don't love her. I can't tell because I never felt like this before. I don't think I'd be this upset with you if I didn't love you." "I feel that same way. Yesterday, at the pool, Darryl said some things to me, like you said, and I didn't get mad at him. I just told him to go away. I get mad at you because I like you so much that I want to make you happy. I might love you too, but even if I did, I don't want to do those things you keep bringing up." "I didn't say you had to do anything, I just asked you. All you have to do is tell me you don't want to. You don't have to get mad every time." "Maybe I get mad because I do want to, and I'm afraid if I tell you no, you'll let Bea do them with you again. That's always in the back of my head, and I panic. Just because I get mad, it doesn't mean I don't want to do those things. I'm not ready yet, but I do want to do them. All of them. That's almost what I think about all the time now, and it bothers me a lot." "If you told me to, I wouldn't talk about sex anymore, Brenda. A lot of the time, it's you who brings it up first." "I know it is. I think about it more now, and I like talking about it when we're together, or on the phone. I've liked all the things we've done so far, Kenny, but I'm still scared about going further. Remember I told you what my mother told me about relieving my tensions so I won't be tempted to do anything stupid on a date? She didn't tell me the part about doing that a lot, and still wanting to do stupid things too. I don't know how to ask her about that. I'm afraid if I tell her how I feel right now, she'll keep me here on restriction until I go off to college in four more years." "I still think you should talk to her. She's your mother, and she would want to help you. It might just be something simple that she could tell you how to fix." "It would be embarrassing to talk to her about any of it. I don't even talk about it with any of my girlfriends except Claudia. She's says I should just go ahead and get it over with like she did, but she's not the role model of what I'm hoping to become. She told me that she has already gone all the way with seven different boys, including my brother, who she says was the worst one of them all." "Seven, that's a lot. Bea told me she had done it with hundreds of men. That's what she said, hundreds. She said some women too. She wants to do it with Carol, she already told me." "That's disgusting, two girls? You think I should warn Carol?" "No, I don't think Bea would make her do anything against her will. She isn't like that. At least she isn't like that with me." "Do you still keep your door locked at night?" "Every night. Bea has a new boyfriend anyway." "Mr. Parsons?" "No, I already told you he's not her boyfriend. This is someone else, someone she saw up in Bolling. She leaving next month anyway, going to California to live. This other thing we're talking about, you and me. I'd like it if you would show me how to act around girls. Teach me the right things to say and do, so I didn't always get in trouble. I won't try to do or say anything new if you'll help me. Unless you change your mind about it first." "I don't think you understand how it works, Kenny. Right now, if I were over there with you in your room, I'd let you do anything you wanted to do. Anything at all. That's because of what you said about maybe loving me, and how hearing that makes me feel. That's why I can't afford to let my guard down with you. If I did, my kitty would soon have your snake invading it." "I could promise not to take advantage if you feel that way. We could agree on what we should do, and then not go past that." "Kenny, that's like asking the sheep to trust the wolves. Boys aren't supposed to be the ones to say no, only the girls do that." "Why is that? Is there some rule like that? I could set a limit and not go past it. I did it all the time, all my life before I came here. I don't see why this would be different than any other decision I've made and then stuck to." "Are you coming to the club today?" "I wasn't planning on it. I don't have lessons on Saturday, and Mrs. Parsons wants to stay home today to get ready for her trip to Chicago tomorrow." Tomorrow is the mixed tournament, and we never did practice much. We could practice, and you could show me how good your idea would work." "Tell me what we could do that you'd feel all right about." "No, today, we wouldn't do anything. No kissing or even holding hands. You need to show me that you can be strong, even if I'm not strong." "We can do it that way, but it wouldn't be any fun, and it wouldn't be a fair test. Besides, I really want to kiss you some more. How about kissing today, but no touching other than holding hands?" "How about kissing and holding hands only until right before Hans comes to give you a ride? We can walk down to the club entrance again, and, on the way, go into the trees for just a minute. You can rub my kitty and I'll pet your snake. We'll only have a minute, so I won't have to worry about going too far." "I can do that. Are you sure it won't scare you or make you mad at me?" "If it scares me, it will probably be because I think of something more I want you to do to me. I'm already thinking about what I want you to do to me. I never thought I'd be wanting someone to do that to me either. That's why this is so scary to me. Every time we do one thing, I start thinking about something more that we haven't done. When I think about it, I start wanting you to do it. Right now, you wouldn't believe what I'm thinking. I don't even believe it, and I'm the one thinking it." "Do you want me to pick you up and bring you home too? We may as well make a day of it if we're going out there. Bring your swimming suit too. Brenda don't worry. The one thing I did learn when I lived at the orphanage was how to control what I did, and what I thought about. My mind was the only thing that was really mine there. If I set my mind to it, I can make myself do anything as long as all it requires is discipline and self control." "You didn't ask me what I was thinking about, Kenny. Aren't you even interested?" "Every time I try to guess, you get mad, and then hang up on me. If you want me to know, you'll tell me." "Do you remember the first thing you told me about tasting me? That's what I've been thinking about, how it would feel if you did that. Bea said that was the best thing you ever did to her. I've been wondering about it. A lot. What do you think of that?" "I think Bea's right. That was the thing she always wanted me to do the most. She seemed to like it a lot. Better than when we did the real thing. I liked when she sucked me, but not better than the real thing. Close though." "You keep your bedroom door locked, Kenny. Remember, you promised that I'd be your next, even if it took a long time for it to happen. I couldn't stand it if you didn't keep that promise." "I will. I don't even want to do anything with anyone else." It was a long conversation. I wasn't sure if it had gone the way I had hoped and expected. There were parts of it that were a lot more hopeful, but she hadn't promised not to do any of the things I wanted her to stop. I hadn't even talked to her about her obsession with money and marrying a rich guy. When I thought about it, I felt like I'd been the one to give in again. I was so glad to be over the fight with her though, that I didn't get too mad at myself for not being more in control of the relationship. I think it was because of Bea, and my not wanting to look at my friendship with Brenda the same way she did. I didn't want to be the one in control of everything, anymore than I wanted Brenda to need to be that way. I recognized some of the warnings Bea had given me, and I'd try to not let Brenda take advantage of me in those ways. When Hans drove me over to Brenda's house to get her, I started getting nervous. I knew what I'd told her about my discipline, but that was for something easy, like not letting the sisters force me to pay attention in catechism class, or me being able to accept not getting any dinner as the punishment for something I'd done. What I'd told Brenda was a lot different than any of those things. My dick was already hard, and I hadn't even seen her yet. When I opened the door for her and stood up outside the limo, Brenda looked right at my tennis shorts, and laughed out loud at me. I guess I had flunked the first test. I was embarrassed, but not defeated. I got back inside and tried not to act too happy as Hans drove us over to the club. Brenda sat on the other seat, directly across from me. She and I mostly just smiled at each other. She was excited about a new tennis racquet her father had bought her, telling me all about how it was supposed to increase the hitting area and make her shots more powerful. I tried to pay attention and follow it all. It was hard for me to do, because Brenda had her legs spread open quite a bit and was rubbing her pussy outside her tennis panty while she talked about her new racquet. I could see she was enjoying the effect she was having on me. It was a good thing the ride over to the country club wasn't a long one. I was already a little frayed by the time we got there. Brenda got out of the car and started walking over to the tennis courts, not even waiting for me. I thanked Hans and told him I wouldn't call him before three o'clock for a ride back. I had my bathing suit and towel casually held in front of myself, hiding my erection from Hans as I spoke. When I caught up to Brenda, she was already on the court, doing some stretching exercises and limbering up for our practice. I got a racquet out and joined her. She didn't say anything about what she had done in the car, and I didn't talk about it either. She started talking about tennis right away, letting me know that the fun and games were finished for now, and there was serious practicing to be done. We were scheduled for the earliest matches that began at ten the next morning. We would be playing someone I didn't know. Brenda knew them though, and she assured me we could beat them easily. Our second round opponents would probably be a couple that Bea hadn't ever seen play, because they were playing the Lowenstein's. Her saying that, made me think Mr. Parsons had been right to dismiss our win over the Lowenstein's as not that much of an accomplishment. We practiced hard for an hour. Not punishing like the last time, but still intense. I was a lot more tired than Brenda when we stopped and went to sit in the bleachers. There was only one other court being used when we stopped, so we left all of our tennis gear on the court we'd been using. I took a sip of water from the bottle Brenda had brought with her. It felt good going down as I tried to get back to breathing normally again. Brenda had been running me from side to side, chasing after balls that she could have easily put away. Her strategy seemed to mostly consist of making me chase after as many balls as she could, in order to build up my endurance. She would hit the winners only when she could see that I wasn't able to run anymore. I was so happy when she said we could take a break. "You did well, Kenny. I'm not sure I could have gotten to a lot of those balls. You're very fast when moving side to side. You need more work on running up and back though. When we finish resting, I want to teach you how to volley the ball. Tomorrow, I want you to be up at the net with me some of the time too. We can't win if all you can do is play defensively. You need to learn how to go on offense too." "Is it as tiring for you when you stand around up front? Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one running. All the rest of you stay in pretty much one place most of the time." "We can play our positions, Kenny. You need to learn how to play yours, from the front as well as the back. We're trying to make the other team have to run, that's how you win, with offense. What did you think about what I did on the ride over here? Did it surprise you? I wanted to surprise you." "It surprised me. It surprised Hans too, he told me." "He couldn't see what I was doing. Don't lie." "Brenda, didn't you ever notice how all the windows in back are tinted real dark? That makes them like mirrors from the inside. Hans was looking through his rear view mirror at the window in back. He saw everything you did. He thinks you're very sexy too." Brenda's mouth dropped open in surprise. I could see that she wasn't happy thinking that Hans had watched her playing with her pussy like that. "You should have said something, Kenny, warned me at least." "I thought you already knew, Brenda. I've seen you looking at your reflection in the side windows." "What did he say?" "He said he didn't think you were that kind of girl." "Oh my God! Do you think he'll tell anyone?" "I don't know if he will or not. I guess it depends on whether the security cameras picked up what you were doing or not." Brenda started shaking like she was going to cry, so I had to stop kidding her about it. She hit me again, but this time she was relieved that I'd only been kidding her. I had hold of both her hands to keep her from hitting me more, and the next thing I knew, she was kissing me. I tried to make her stop, but she was too strong because I was already tired from my running around. I didn't let her touch my dick either, although I did let her rub her breasts all over my chest while she kissed me. I didn't touch her breasts or her pussy though. We must have been a sight, because the couple playing on the other court had stopped play and were staring at us. I told Brenda, and she stopped and looked over at the other people. She got up and walked over to the court they were on, and I saw her talking to them. I hoped she wasn't saying anything to get us into trouble, but she wasn't. She came running back, excited, telling me that we were going to play some doubles. We played two sets with the other couple. They told us their names were Barbara and Jerry. They looked like they were both around forty years old, but they looked like they were in good shape for their ages too. They were better than us, this was especially true right in the beginning. They beat us 6-2 in the first set. By the second set, Brenda had learned all of their weaknesses, and we were able to beat them 6-4. Brenda wanted them to play us a third set, but they said they had to leave. We thanked them for the game, and they told us they had enjoyed it too. Brenda was excited that we'd managed to beat a couple that knew how to play. I was amazed too, but tried not to show it. I was also totally beat. I told Brenda I was all done with practicing for the day and asked her if we could go back, have some lunch, and go swimming instead. "That's what you want to do? We're all alone here now, Kenny, why do you want to leave so quick?" "I'm hungry, I'm all tired and sweaty. What I'd really like to do is go back and take a shower, get lunch, go swimming and relax. Practicing, and then playing like that, has me all worn out. I need some rest if we're going to play tomorrow." "Kenny, I'm practically inviting you to make out with me, and you aren't listening. We can do this and then go up and eat later. I want to kiss a little and talk about us." She made it sound like she really wanted that, but I was pretty sure she was trying to see if she could really trust me. I wasn't curious about it. I knew I could do what I'd said I would. I really wanted to cool off and relax. I wanted her to know I was interested, but I didn't want to make a long game of her seeing if she could tempt me into going past what we had agreed on. I went over to her and gave her a tight hug and a kiss. I had her arms trapped so that she couldn't move them, and started trying to get my tongue inside her mouth. She seemed surprised at me doing that, but she finally let me. We kissed like that for a long time, a few minutes at least, before I let her go and stepped away. While we were kissing, I had let my hard on rub up against her stomach. I knew she was feeling it, and that she knew what I was doing. She didn't move away from me the whole time I kissed her like that. "Brenda, we need to go, okay? We've got a lot of time for you to try to see if you can trust me, but I want to get clean and I want to get something to eat right away. After lunch, we can decide what we want to do next, as long as it isn't more tennis practice." "I was wanting you to touch me again, Kenny. Just a little bit so I could be sure it still felt as good as before. I wanted to feel you some more too." "No touching now, we agreed. Let's go." "You could show it to me, that's not touching. No one's anywhere around us now. Let me see it. I'll stand this far away." Brenda took two steps backwards. She was smiling at me. I reached for my zipper and she let out a loud nervous laugh. I laughed too, and turned to put my racquet away and pick up my tennis bag. "You're a big teaser. Were you really going to show me if I hadn't laughed?" "You'll never know, will you? C'mon, let's go get cleaned up. I stink from all this sweating." We held hands as we walked over to the clubhouse. Once again, Brenda was showered and dressed and waiting for me by the time I came back out. She was wearing her one piece swim suit, with a nice blue cotton wrap over it. We went into the restaurant to eat. During lunch, we both talked about safe things. There was still some sexual charge that stayed with us. I kept thinking about what she had asked me to do, and about what I wanted to do to her. We could go swimming, and we'd be able to touch each other a little there. I was determined to stay well within the limits we'd agreed on. Putting on her tanning oil after lunch was a pleasure that I spent at least fifteen minutes doing. Brenda was already tanned enough that she really didn't need the protection, but neither of us wanted to take any chances. We sunned ourselves and talked, went into the pool and splashed around in the shallow end for half an hour. I held both her hands in the pool, needing the contact with her. At four thirty, we both had had enough of the pool. I went and changed and then called Hans, telling him we were ready to be picked up. We walked quickly down towards the main road, each knowing that by hurrying, we were allowing ourselves a little extra time hidden in among the trees. I'm not sure which of us pulled the other off the driveway and into the trees. Maybe it was both of us doing it simultaneously. We got twenty feet into the trees and then we kissed with a tight embrace. It was open mouthed, with plenty of hungry tongue from both of us. I was wearing my tennis shorts again, and felt Brenda's hand trying to reach up under my pant leg. I had her pussy cupped in my own hand before she managed to get her hand on the top part of my naked cock. I felt her shiver as soon as she touched it, and felt the added pressure of her tongue on my own. I too found the leg hole of her tennis and regular panties, curling my index finger underneath. We stayed this way, her grasping the head of my dick, and me running my index finger all over her wet pussy. I didn't try to penetrate her, and after a few minutes I pulled away from her, gently, giving her time to take her hand out of the pant leg of my shorts. We looked at each other, and I made sure she saw me putting the finger with her juices inside my mouth to get my first taste of her. Watching me do that, she shuddered again, but still smiled at me shyly. I took her hand and we walked back out to the country club driveway, turning to walk the rest of the way to the road. "You taste nice, Brenda. I'm going to want to taste you some more." she grabbed at my arm and held it to her tightly, rubbing a distended nipple across it. She wasn't mad at me. In fact, I think she was starting to feel as strongly about me as I did about her. While we waited for Hans, Brenda rubbed her back up against my front. I knew she could feel my dick pressing back against her as she did it. It seemed like a very natural thing for us to be doing when we did that. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 17 I got up earlier than usual to see Mrs. Parsons off on her trip to Chicago. She asked me several questions about my reconciliation with Brenda, seeming quite satisfied with my answers. She kissed me lightly on my lips when she gave me a hug goodbye. "After tonight, Kenny, the company will effectively be out of my family's hands for the first time ever. I'm going to hate signing everything away. It isn't the money that I wanted, it was knowing that all of the employees and their families will be protected. I'm sure that this is why Bunny will sign the company away also." "Bunny says that Mr. Parsons will have a lot of money after the merger. Why does he want to keep running the company?" "You will need to direct that query to him. He's always loved running the company, making improvements to it. Perhaps he cares too much to let it all slip out of his control." "Will you still get a divorce?" "Yes. There is little left of our marriage now, and Thomas has whatever he wanted from me when we decided to marry. It is past time to close that chapter in my life." "I'm sorry. Please try to not get too sad about it. Will you be coming to golf with me tomorrow?" "That depends on how early we finish up and can return here. I hope I shall." At eight thirty, I had Hans drive me over to the country club so that I could play in the mixed doubles tennis tournament with Brenda. We weren't scheduled to play until ten o'clock, but Brenda told me that we should get there early, just in case the people who would probably be our second round opponents, if we got past the first round ourselves, came early to get in some practice. She said she would be at the club before eight. Brenda also made it clear she was hoping we could advance to the third round with our favorable draw. I didn't know how she figured it was favorable, when she admitted she knew nothing about the people she said we'd probably have to play in the second round. When I got there, Brenda told me the couple, whose name I found out was Pearson, hadn't come in to get a practice court yet. The tourney started in an hour, and it didn't look like they were going to get in any practice beforehand. At ten o'clock, we took the number three court against our opponents. It was a much older gentleman and a young girl, no more than twelve years old. Brenda said it was Mr. Glenrose, and his granddaughter Julie. He didn't look eighty years old to me, probably about sixty five years old. I watched as we warmed up together, and it looked to me like he was a better player than I was. I was hitting the ball right at him though, which you're supposed to do when warming up. He hit it back to me with no problems. As soon as the match began though, I realized what Brenda had meant, Mr. Glenrose never ran for a ball. If it came to him, he'd hit it back, or if he reached it in a single step too, more than that, he simply stood and watched it go by him. Julie tried to play back like I was, but she wasn't as fast, and didn't have my longer legs, so she wasn't as effective. We beat them 6-0, although I wanted to let them win a couple games so they wouldn't feel bad, especially Julie. Brenda told me we needed to get off the court with the win, with the least possible expenditure of energy. She said we'd both need our energy for the later matches. As soon as we started our first match, we saw who was playing the Lowenstein's. I didn't know them, but Brenda said she'd seen them play a couple times before. She was excited, because she thought we could beat them too. They took care of the Lowenstein's 6-1. After our match, we stayed to watch Barbara and Jerry take on the Edgar's. They played well, but lost 6-4 anyway. At eleven, we played the Pearson's. He was about forty years old, but she looked younger, maybe thirty or so. Brenda told me to hit to the wife any time I could. It stayed even until we were at six all. They were serving, with Mr. Pearson having the service game. I returned his first serve, something that I'd been having trouble doing the whole match. I sent my return right between them both for a clean winner. 0-15. On the next serve, Brenda got a piece of it, and it went off her racquet frame for a lucky return, barely clearing the net. 0-30. On his next serve to me, he faulted his first serve, and he took a lot off of his second, just trying to be sure it went in. I came up and returned the serve right at Mrs. Pearson. It hit down at her feet and was by her before she even moved her racquet to take a stab at it. 0-40. They won the next point when Brenda returned long. 15-40. On the next serve, to me, he served both of them into the net for a double fault, giving us the game. Brenda then served for the match, and held easily. We were into the third round, 8-6. Brenda was overjoyed. I was really too new to appreciate what we had done. At lunch, Brenda informed me that we would play the Edgar's in the semi's. She didn't seem too happy with our chances, and I wasn't either. Still, I reminded her, we did make it to the third round, and that was something. It meant we could have an automatic entry to the following week's tournament too. The top four teams were guaranteed a place for the next week's draw. Everyone was excited because Ron Taylor had a new partner, apparently a cousin of his. She was in her late teens, and played better than Ron's mother had. They had made it to the semi's, and would be playing the Landis's for the other spot in the finals. Brenda was unable to totally hide her disappointment over the fact that she didn't get a chance to partner with the young phenom herself. By now, having seen all of the competition, I believed Brenda when she said she and Ron could win the championship together. I tried to take Brenda's mind off of Ron Taylor, asking her how we were going to beat the Edgar's. "We aren't, Kenny, at least not this week. The best we can hope for is to keep them out on the court and act as spoilers to tire them out for the finals. If we do that much, I'll be satisfied." "You're just going to give up?" "No. I'm being realistic. We'll try hard on every point, giving them nothing easy. Something might happen to one of them. The problem is that they both play better than either one of us. Remember his serve? How are you going to handle that?" "Defensive lob. I'll stay way back, and just try to get it back in play. That's what you told me to do last week." "He'll slice you off the court if you stand too far back. You'd be better to come forward and swing away at it. You could get lucky that way. I'm going to try that. I've played them before, they're good." We did play as hard as we could. Brenda won two of her service games, and we had break points on Mrs. Edgar's serve three times, which we couldn't convert. We went down 6-2, early enough so that we could watch the final six games of the other semi. Ron and his cousin won that one 9-7. Ron really covered almost the whole court, and his volleys and returns were so precise and effective. Just from watching him play, I thought I had learned quite a bit. He wasted not an ounce of effort, anticipating and then being already set when the ball reached him. Unlike his mother, Ron's cousin could play a little bit. Enough to keep Ron in contention for some of the service points she returned in play. In the finals, the Edgar's handled Ron easily, 6-2, like they had beaten us. Ron looked like he had given up, or else he simply ran out of gas in the last match. Brenda went over and congratulated him for making it to the finals after the match was over. I could see she was hoping to have him ask her to play with him the next week. They talked for about ten minutes, while I hung back, sitting in the bleachers. Brenda came back and borrow a scrap of paper and a pen from the tournament referee, wrote something on the paper, and then ran back to give it to Ron. I was sure it was her phone number. "He said he might call me tomorrow if he decides to use me as his partner." Brenda had come back over to where I was sitting, unable to hold back her smile. "He probably won't call me, but he told me that he's decided not to play with his mother anymore. You won't mind if I partner with him, will you?" "No, I don't mind. I know how important your tennis is to you. We can still practice though, right?" "Sure. No way I'm going to practice any less now. He probably won't call, so I want you sharp for next week. Ron said I played real well against the Edgar's. I told him how long you've been playing, and he was impressed that you've gotten so good already." Brenda was in a good mood after talking with Ron. I wasn't in as good a mood. I really did understand her wanting to play with a better partner. Still, it was more than just tennis between us. If I had been her, I don't think I'd have done it like that. I'd have gone to her first and asked her before volunteering myself to be someone else's partner. I didn't want to make a big issue about it, because I knew Brenda was happy at the possibility of being in the tournament with a good chance to win it. We stayed around talking for about an hour, before her mother came by to drive her home. She ran over to her mom's car, and she spent the next fifteen minutes telling her how we did in the tournament. After she finished with that, she told her the really big news about Ron Taylor possibly calling her to be his partner. Mrs. Connor got almost as excited as Brenda had. After they left, I called Hans to come get me. I was a little surprised that either Brenda or her mother hadn't asked me if I needed a ride home. Mrs. Parsons got home at around eight o'clock. She looked tired out. I asked her how the meeting went, but she said she'd rather wait and talk to me about it in the morning. Mr. Chalmers had gone into the kitchen when they both arrived. After Mrs. Parsons went up to her room, Mr. Chalmers came out eating a sandwich and drinking from a large beer glass. "Kenny, please keep a close watch on Bertie for us. She's upset about this damned merger business. It was all we could manage today keeping her from throwing a monkey wrench into the entire proceedings. Everything is signed and delivered now though. We'll announce it on Monday at eight o'clock in New York. Bertie told us that you want to inform the Connor family about Tommy having a clause to keep our current suppliers after the takeover. None of us have any objections, so long as you speak with Walt himself first." "Do I just tell him that he will continue the same as before the merger?" "Exactly. Tell him that Tommy made sure he was taken care of, and that business might end up improving now that the merger has gone through. We've picked up some national outlets with the merger. Tommy expects to more than double production over the next two years. Tell him that we don't forget who our friends are. Tommy said that you told him that Walt was asking questions about the merger before. That made everyone work faster to push this thing forward quicker. I'm happy that it's done now." "Did Mrs. Parsons tell you to get her divorce now?" "We agreed we'd wait until after the merger, but I'm still hopeful that they can sit down and work through this thing. A divorce wouldn't benefit either of them. Bertie has to give up on her romantic illusions. I don't condone what Tommy did, but, I can certainly understand how it happened. What I don't know is how to explain that to Bertie in a way that would make her forgive him for it. Tommy is taking all of next week off. He's been working night and day for the past six months, setting this up and running interference on it all. I thought he should come home here and try to come to some terms with Bertie, either for a divorce, or a reconciliation. I don't know what else he can try to do." "It might help if you could get Bea released early, so that she's gone before he comes back home. Your sister is starting to treat her bad. Not on purpose I don't think, but still, she can't help blaming Bea a little for being part of this." "How is Bea? I'm afraid I look like a weak fool in your eyes now, as well as a hypocrite? I'm already ashamed for having succumbed to her allure." "I don't know why you would be. She told me that you were a pleasant surprise to her. She said she enjoyed it a lot." "She is a true temptress, Kenny. It would take someone a lot stronger than I am, and a lot less needy as well, to resist her lush charms." "Yes, but does that mean you'll try to get her court release moved up or not?" "I have a different idea, one that I want you to carry to Bea for me. I plan on taking my vacation shortly. In fact, I'm hoping to have everything cleared to leave here on Wednesday morning, for two weeks. I'm going to Hawaii. I thought, that is I hope, that Bea might want to travel with me. I have never been there before, but I hear it is quite scenic and beautiful. If you could broach the possibility with her, discreetly, so that no one else hears of it, I'd be grateful. Tell her that she would be under no obligation to entertain me in any way while there, I'm simply seeking platonic companionship, with an eye to making it easier for Tommy and Bertie to come to a meeting of the minds concerning their respective futures. I would cover all of her out of pocket expenses, naturally." "You want Bea to go on vacation to Hawaii with you?" "Yes. Do you think she might possibly agree?" "I don't know. I'll ask her tonight though. How do I get hold of you? Can Bea call you if she has questions?" Mr. Chalmers gave me another of his business cards, but only after he had written two other phone numbers on the back. He said the top one was his private, direct line at the office, and the other was his home number. He told me to make sure to talk to Bea soon. After that, he handed me his empty beer glass and his paper napkin and left. I think he must have been distracted, or else he would have returned them to the kitchen himself. After he was gone, I looked for Bea in the library and in the kitchen, but she wasn't in either place. In the kitchen, I asked Gerta, but all she told me was that Bea had gone out somewhere, and would be back later. I went to the refrigerator, looking for ice cream, but we were all out. I asked Gerta about it, and she wrote it on her list. I told her good night and went up to my bedroom. I thought about Mr. Chalmers and Bea as a couple. I couldn't see the two of them being very happy together. I hoped that Mr. Chalmers wasn't thinking about anything permanent with Bea. She would wind up breaking his heart. Even if she didn't mean to, that's what would eventually happen. I went to sleep. When I got up at seven, Bea was in the kitchen with Gerta and Hans. They were all laughing together. I sat down and Gerta went to the stove and put some waffle mix in the waffle iron, and got out the strawberries, whipping cream and butter. Bea and Hans said good morning to me. "Good morning Hans, hi Bea. Where did you go last night?" "I went to a movie with Carol, Mr. Noseypants. We had a lovely time too. Just for your future reference, she tastes as good as she looks." "Really? I'm not sure I believe you." "Kid, you don't give me the credit I deserve when it comes to things like this. This is what I do, I'm a professional. Don't worry though, it wasn't anything she even wanted to resist. She was as curious as you were that first time. I'd be surprised if she wasn't going to be even more curious after I'm gone. She's a natural, took to it like a duck takes to water. She'd give the big guy a run for his money with her tongue, and that isn't an easy thing to do." "Where did you do this? Not in the movies?" "Not that it's any of your business, but friends of mine were kind enough to lend me their car." I saw her wink over at Hans and Gerta. Gerta just laughed and turned back to the waffles. Hans winked back at her. This was my first inkling that Bea had gotten on the good side of those two. I reminded myself to question Gerta about it at a later date. Preferably after Bea was gone. When I first moved in there, it was obvious that Gerta and Hans blamed Bea for a lot of what Mrs. Parsons was going through, and how she was acting. I wondered what had changed. "Bea, have you ever been to Hawaii?" "No, why, do you want me to take you there?" "Not me, the big guy, I mean Mr. Chalmers, asked me to find out if you'd like to go with him for two weeks starting Wednesday?" Bea looked at me, trying to tell if I was pulling her leg or not. "He asked you to ask me? He didn't have the balls to ask me himself? You tell him if he wants something from me, he has to come and ask me like I was a real person to him. I don't use a pimp, at least not now I don't. Tell him I expect him to negotiate with me directly." "No, that's all right. I'll just tell him you didn't want to go. I was supposed to tell you that is was as a platonic companion. Oh, I forgot, I was supposed to ask you when you were alone. Gerta, don't tell him I asked her in front of you and Hans, okay?" "Bea, you must be stupid to say no to him. We told you how shy he has become. For him to ask Kenny to ask you, this took a lot for him." Gerta had come over to the table and was saying this to Bea. She looked a little bit upset with Bea. "Gert, he isn't some little school boy. If he wants something, he can ask me himself. Kenny, he can shove that platonic bullshit right up his keister too. We both know he's inviting me for one reason only. I'm not saying it isn't a good deal he's offering, but still, you're not John Alden, I'm not Priscilla Mullen, and he isn't Miles Standish. Tell him I'll go, but he has to come ask me himself." "Bea, he wants you gone so that Mr. and Mrs. Parsons can talk without you being there reminding both of them about why they're mad at each other. How come you can't just be a little considerate for once, and not try to make him jump through hoops for this." "I'm doing just fine right where I am. He's the one that wants me to do him a favor. I already gave you my answer. Call him and tell him." I got up and walked out of there, not even waiting for my breakfast. Bea could be so frustrating. In some ways, she was worse at that then Brenda was. As far as I was concerned, Mr. Chalmers could decide for himself if it was worth it to him to come back out here and ask her himself. I was finished with my part in it. I heard the phone ring, and Gerta told me it was for me, Mr. Chalmers. "Hello." Hi Kenny. They just announced the merger. Go ahead and call Walt. Do you have his number at work?" "No. Is he at work now?" "Probably. Here it is. 573-4333. If he isn't at work, try him at his house. I've got a lot of people to call right now, so I need to get back to it. Did you get a chance to ask Bea about that trip I mentioned?" "I did. She said she'd go, but only if you come out here and ask her yourself." "That isn't something I'd care to be doing with the current climate over at the house. Tell her I'm sorry that she couldn't see her way clear to accept. Tell her perhaps another time." He said goodbye and hung up before I could ask him any questions. I dialed the number he'd given me for Mr. Connor. A lady answered with the company's name. I asked her to speak with Mr. Connor. She said he was busy right then, but offered to take a message. "Tell him that Kenny Masters called with a message from Thomas Parsons. Tell him it's important." "Hold on Mr. Masters, I'm sure he'll take your call." There was a pause of about ten seconds before Mr. Connor came on the line. "You've got a lot of nerve calling me right now, you little bastard! Isn't it enough for all of you that you've ruined my business and put me out of commission?" "Mr. Connor, Mr. Parsons asked me to call you to say that your company is still going to be our supplier. Mr. Chalmers told me to tell you that Mr. Parsons specifically retained full ordering authority over company suppliers, and that our business dealings with you would increase in all likelihood. Mrs. Parsons told me to make sure I called you as soon as the merger was announced. I'm supposed to tell you that the family always remembers who their friends are." "Are you going to tell them what I said, Kenny." "No, sir, except what you say after I finished telling you the message." "I feel like a real piece of shit. I honestly thought they had just sold out and left all of their suppliers holding the bag." "Mr. Parsons held out for full approval of suppliers. He made it a part of the deal. Do you have any message I can take back to the family, Mr. Connor?" "Tell them I really appreciate their loyalty. This means a lot to me. Tell them I won't forget it anytime soon." After I got off the phone with Mr. Connor, I went back into the kitchen again. Gerta put my still hot waffles with butter, strawberries and lots of juice and whipping cream, on the table, in front of where I usually sat. I smiled and thanked her, sitting down and reaching for my fork. I began eating my breakfast. I could see that Bea was waiting for me to say something about my conversation with Mr. Chalmers. Eating without talking to her became a very enjoyable pleasure for me. "Well what did he say, Kenny?" Bea wasn't able to keep silent long, or wait for me to volunteer my information. "He said too bad, perhaps another time." I continued eating. "What did you tell him? Did you tell him what I told you to?" "I told him what you said, and that's what he said. Maybe he doesn't want you to think he's pussy whipped like you say I am." "Are you enjoying this, Kenny? I think you are. All right, the two of you win. Call him and tell him I've reconsidered, and I'll be happy to go with him." "No, you call him yourself. If you hadn't gotten all la te da with me, this would be all finished now and you'd be looking forward to a nice free vacation. Mr. Chalmers would probably rather hear it directly from you. Here's his card. you better hurry because he needs to get another plane ticket if you're going." Bea snatched the business card right out of my hands, and left for her room to call. Gerta and I laughed as she hurried away from the kitchen. I had forgotten to tell her about the numbers on the back of his card, but I figured Bea would be able to turn the card over and see for herself. After my breakfast, I went up to Mrs. Parsons room and knocked on her door. There was no answer. It didn't surprise me that she would pick the day the merger was announced to decide to feel bad. I thought I'd feel bad too if something that was mine for so long was taken away from me. She had told me that Mr. Chalmers already had all the money he could ever spend. I assumed the same was true for her. The money she got for selling her father's company probably didn't make up for not having it any more. I went back downstairs to ask Gerta about it. She said she knew it was going to happen too. She didn't look as worried as before, and then she told me that Mrs. Parsons had been eating good for the past week or so, so that was why she wasn't as worried. Hans drove me out for my golf lesson. After it was done with, Dave and I played nine holes together. He played, but spent most of his time telling me about course management. He said knowing how to avoid trouble was a big part of scoring in golf. Thinking was what he called it. You had a lot of decisions to make, and you needed to make them using the best information you could. He told me that golfers improved their scores by knowing the course. I learned a lot just playing those nine holes with him. I asked him about that and he told me it was a playing lesson that Mrs. Parsons had set up. He told me it cost her forty dollars, which is what he charged for a two hour lesson. That seemed like a lot of money, and it made me wonder how much she paid for my one hour lessons five times a week. I asked him. He looked at me, like he was wondering if he should tell me or not. "For Bertie, I charge three hundred per month for your daily lessons. Almost anyone else it would be four hundred. I know she doesn't need the money she saves from my discount, but she's always been my favorite member here. You are lucky to have her in your corner, Kenny, damn lucky. She's good people, spelled with a capital P." I smiled at him. We were agreed on that. I knew how lucky I was. I had a cheeseburger at the club, and went over to the pool to see if anyone was there that I knew. I guess I was looking to see if Brenda was there or not. She wasn't. There wasn't anyone there that I knew. I walked over to the tennis courts and found Brenda there. She was playing a singles match with Ron Taylor. He was really killing her too. It looked like he was toying with her, running her from side to side, and bringing her in only to lob the ball over her head. He used all different kinds of spins on the ball, and once I saw him slice a drop shot so fine that it bounced once, and then spun back into the net. The strangest part was that nothing Brenda could do made any difference. He was just so much better than she was. On a tennis court, it was easy to forget how young he was. I had been there for ten minutes when Brenda stopped, and asked Ron if she could have a break. When she went to get her water bottle, that was the first she knew that I was in the bleachers watching. "Kenny, I didn't know you were here. How long have you been watching us?" "Hi. About ten minutes. He's good. Now you know how I feel, don't you?" "Daddy called, and told us about you calling him. How long have you known about the merger?" "I don't know, less than a week for sure. I asked everyone because of what you told me, and they all said your father's company would be fine. It was against the law for me to say anything before the merger went through." Brenda nodded and laughed. "Daddy told us how he treated you when you first called him. He's still afraid you're going to tell them about it." "I told him I wouldn't. I know he was worried and upset when I first called to tell him." "He and my mother are all so relieved. Guess what? My father told my mother to go ahead and write out the check to make us all full members here at the club again. He said you told him his business was going to get more orders?" "That's what Mr. Chalmers told me." "Mom's happy about that. She hates having to "pinch pennies". That's what she calls it when daddy won't let her spend all of his money. She calls him a damn penny pincher." Brenda laughed at what she'd said. "Dad said that all of you made out like bandits on this merger. He said the family made more than a hundred million dollars. Do you get any of it?" "Five million, but that's it. I was hoping for ten." "Oh my God! Are you serious? Five Million Dollars. I can't believe it. What are you going to buy? A new car I bet." "I'm kidding, Brenda. I'm not getting anything. Why would they give me money? I keep telling you, but you won't believe me. I'm not rich, and I'm never going to be." "Was it a hundred million dollars though?" "I don't know. Mr. Chalmers mentioned that Mr. Parsons was getting twenty million dollars tomorrow, but he never told me how much he or Mrs. Parsons were getting. It was a lot though. Mrs. Parsons said that her husband negotiated for a good price for the company." "I wish you had gotten five million dollars Kenny. You'd be a millionaire, and I'd be a millionaire's girlfriend." "I wish you wouldn't always talk about money and being rich. It makes me feel bad, because I know I'm not rich, and I know that's what you really want." "Kenny, you're going to be very rich. I can already feel it. My mother says that Mrs. Parsons loves you already. She doesn't have any kids. Who is she going to leave all her money to, if not to you?" "I don't know, and I really don't care. I think you are too crazy about money. I wonder if you'd still like me if I was just an orphan visiting with Hans and Gerta instead of the Parsons." "I wouldn't have even met you then, Kenny. If I had met you, I'd have liked you, just like I do now. The money is just extra. A big extra, but that's all it is. If you were poor, I'd still dream about you at night. It would only be different in the daytime. Money is important to so many things in this world. Things not just for me, but for my family, my children when I have them. Being poor isn't any fun. It isn't the life I am being raised to live. I'd still love you if you were poor, but I wouldn't consider marrying you. "If I do inherit a lot of money, I'm going to be like you then. My wife will have to be at least as rich as I am." "Kenny. If you have lots of money, your wife doesn't have to have any money of her own." "No, I'm like you, I just want to marry someone richer than I am. Right now, you qualify, but if I get rich, then you won't." Ron had come over to the fence by the bleachers, and had been listening to us for the past ten minutes. "Brenda, are you going to practice or just talk?" "I've got to go back, Kenny. Ron and I are playing together Sunday. You can play too if you get another partner. We're both eligible to play because we made the semis." "That's all right. I was only playing because of you. Look, I know you need to practice. I'm going to call Hans and get a ride home. I'll call you tonight, okay?" Brenda was already heading back to the court to practice. She didn't acknowledge hearing what I told her. I waited until they started hitting the ball back and forth, and then I left. I got home earlier than usual. Mrs. Parsons hadn't left her room all day according to Gerta. When I went into the library, Bea was sitting in front of the television set. She turned her head when I walked in the room, but quickly turned it back to whatever show she was watching. I saw the program she had on, it was one that I didn't particularly like. I started to leave the library. "I'm leaving Wednesday morning with the big fella, Kenny. Two weeks in Hawaii. We're staying in a nice hotel, right on the beach. He's happy that I changed my mind. You don't feel like going with us, do you? He told me to ask you." "No, tell him thanks, but I'm still taking my golf lessons, and Mrs. Parsons might need me for something while you're gone." "Speaking of her, what am I supposed to tell her about this? Do you think she already knows that the big guy asked me to go with him?" "I don't think so. Why don't you tell her you need to consult with your lawyer before going to court?" "Funny, like a crutch. Ha ha. Really, what do I say to her? Should I let him tell her. It's his idea not mine. I don't want her blaming me for this too. You've seen the way she looks at me about Tommy." "Bea, that's one of the reasons why Mr. Chalmers is taking you with him. I told you that this morning." "Kid, believe me when I tell you that isn't his main reason for taking me. He's going to be the only one that's completely on vacation. For me, it's going to be a working vacation." "I can tell you're excited to be going, Bea. Why do you need to make it seem like it doesn't mean that much to you?" "For the same reason you do, kid. If you let them know they're doing something you like, they turn right around and do something different. I learned that before I was as old as you are now. When I was sixteen, I had this man who pimped me. He used to slap me around whenever he found out I was enjoying something. I learned real quick not to let on that I was after that. Habits like that are hard to break. I'll admit it to you, I'm thrilled to be going. I never thought I'd make it to Hawaii. I won't admit it to the big guy, but I'll try to make it worth his while for taking me. He'll come back here thinking it was the best decision he ever made. Count on that." "Aren't you going to have to be seen in public with him, in Hawaii, and on the airplane?" "So what? I won't know any of those people. Don't try to ruin it for me. Listen, Kenny, if you run into Carol, tell her I'm on vacation for two weeks and I'll call her when I get back. If you want to try that, I'd recommend it to you. I told her that you know what you're doing around a girl's pussy, too. All you'd have to do is find some place for the two of you to go. When I get back, maybe the three of us can get together for a little party action? You haven't seen anything until you've seen two girls getting it on." Tuesday I went to my lesson alone too. Mrs. Parsons still was up in her room. I played nine holes by myself, not scoring that well even thought I made a lucky birdie with a chip in from just off the fringe on the number four hole. I didn't look for Brenda. When I tried calling her on Monday night, after seven thirty, her mother told me that she was having dinner at the Taylor's house. She didn't try to call me on Tuesday, so I didn't call her either. I wasn't jealous, but I did feel a little bit neglected. On Wednesday, Bea left early with Mr. Chalmers. It was before seven o'clock, because that was when I came downstairs, and they had left already. At nine o'clock, Mrs. Parsons came downstairs. She was in her robe, and looked tired. She didn't eat anything, but she did drink a small glass of tomato juice, and had a cup of coffee. I sat at the dining room table with her. "Did Bunny come by to pick up Beatrice?" "Yes, they left early, before I came downstairs." "Why would he do this to me? Doesn't he think I have enough on my mind without him adding this to it?" "She's his candy. He's tired of watching other people have all of the candy." "Kenny, make sense if you're going to be talking. What candy? Why is Bea supposed to be like candy?" So, I told her what Mr. Chalmers had told me about having his nose pressed against the candy store window, and about him loving three women, but none of them loving him back. She listened to me talking about her brother, but I could tell she didn't agree with what I told her. "Bunny could have had his pick of many girls. Instead of picking one he could have, he always wanted the few he couldn't have. Georgia is a perfect example. In her youth, she was the most attractive girl within one hundred miles. She wasn't at all suited to Bunny, not by personality, temperament or intelligence. She was the only one he wanted though. He did everything to win her. We told him it was impossible, but he refused to listen. When she dropped him for Walt Connor, the whole valley laughed at Bunny. They found it all so amusing. I warned him about Beatrice as well, you heard me do it. The woman is a tramp, pure and simple. He knows this, knew it from the beginning, but didn't let that deter him. When he phoned me to tell me of this lunacy, I'm afraid I spoke too harshly to him. He's forty seven years old, when is he going to learn?" "He wanted two weeks of happiness with her. He knows it isn't anything more than that. Bea knows it too. Who is it hurting? Everybody should be happy if they can be. Why can't he be?" "Let's just hope you're right about it only being a two week fling. If she ever gets her claws embedded in Bunny, I'll make her wish she hadn't. Thomas was one thing, but Bunny is someone who could really be injured by her toying with him." "Mr. Chalmers told me that Mr. Parsons was taking all of next week off." "I'll believe that when I see it. He's supposed to come here so that we can discuss the divorce. I'm not looking forward to it, but Bunny insisted that we have this time to talk about the situation. I don't know why he wanted to put us both through this. This is how Bunny has always been. He tries so hard to make the unworkable work." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 18 After Bea left with Mr. Chalmers, Mrs. Parsons started coming downstairs again. On Thursday, she came to the country club with me, and we played eighteen holes. I shot an eighty seven. My putting was improving, and I had learned where to hit the ball to avoid big trouble areas on the course. Mrs. Parsons and I started talking more out on the golf course. There was no one behind us anyway, so we talked in the cart between shots. She started telling me about how happy her early childhood had been, before she started getting depressed a lot. It had begun for her when she was thirteen years old. "One day I woke up, and my childhood was gone forever. I'd been such a happy girl up until then. At first, my parents thought it was just a phase I was passing through, but it kept getting worse. I started avoiding everyone, hiding myself away in one cubby hole or another. I wouldn't eat during these times, and I cried so much. I didn't understand why I was feeling so bad. I had everything a child could possibly ask for, but still, I would wake up feeling despondent, unable to see one ray of hope or optimism." "Did they last for a long time back then?" "They would sometimes last for weeks. It bothered Bunny so much too. Until then, we'd shared everything together. Bunny never changed, even though he tried to, to keep me company I think. It was so sweet too. I'd be depressed, under a blanket somewhere, hiding from the world, and Bunny would try to do the same, he tried to pretend like it was a game we were playing together. Bunny couldn't last though. In an hour, maybe less, he'd have to give it up, go out to run around, burning off the energy he had accumulated while hiding with me. "After a few months, he quit trying to pretend to be like I was. By then, our parents were worried about both of us. When I was fourteen, my mother died. It was the first real family loss I'd ever experienced. I was devastated, and I realized for the first time what real honest pain actually felt like. It's different from the pain I feel from my condition." "How is it different?" "The specific pain of loss, rather than just a generalized feeling of despair. I ached for the loss of my mother, I've carried that pain with me for many years. It actually helps put my melancholia into perspective for me. I have carried guilty feelings from my mother's passing, fearing that I may have contributed to her death in some way. Caused it somehow by my strange behavior in the year preceding her death." "How did she die?" "She drowned. No one knows how it could have happened. She was such a strong swimmer too. For years I've wondered if it was a suicide. When they recovered her body, there was no sign of anything wrong, or of any struggle she had put up. I remember looking at her, and not believing she was really dead. My father changed after her death, became even more distant with both of us. He worked all the time after that. Bunny and I practically had to finish raising ourselves. That was when I began taking golf seriously. It was my escape from everything. I withdrew from most social activities, preferring to go off by myself to practice playing golf. I became quite good at golf, and not very good at being with other people. Bunny went completely in the opposite direction. When he went off to college, except for the staff at the house, I would sometimes see no one for months at a time. Most of my practicing took place on our grounds." "You didn't go to college too?" "Oh no. I had no interest in studying academics. Bunny was always the one who liked school, not me. Other than golf, I liked nothing much, until Bunny started bringing my future husband around on his visits home. Thomas was a local boy also, but not from one of the better families. He and Bunny had first met in college, can you imagine? Both of them coming from a town of less than two thousand people, and never even meeting before going off to the same university? We ran in very different social circles though. Thomas latched onto Bunny, right from the first. Sometimes I wonder if it wasn't Thomas who first put the idea of his marrying me into Bunny's head. The Chalmers were everything that he aspired to. Money, social position, business standing. To him, we represented everything he someday hoped to earn by a lifetime of hard effort." "Did you ever think that he might have just liked you, for yourself?" "No. I liked him though, and he knew that. As soon as I saw him, I knew he was special. He burned with ambition. He took up playing golf just because I played it all the time. He didn't have the money for lessons, not at first, but he started playing anyway. My father took to him as well, although his reasons for doing so were far different than mine. Bunny had already decided on a career in law. He never wanted to go into the company, and had made that quite apparent to our father. Bunny used Thomas to keep Daddy from insisting that he join the company. Not that Thomas resisted that in any way. From that first summer, Thomas worked at the company, to earn money for his school expenses. He also managed to spend a lot of time at our home. In a way, it was like he was courting all three of us." "Did you love him before you married him?" "I don't know. I didn't get to really know him. He was always so busy. It wasn't a courtship that we had. He treated me well, but he was always more attentive to Bunny and Daddy. Bunny had gone through a bad period after Georgia dropped him and took up with Walt. He seemed to lose his always fragile confidence with girls. Thomas helped him with that. Thomas actually arranged dates for Bunny at college. He and Bunny became a package offering. If a girl wanted to date Thomas, she had to first find a friend to go out with Bunny. I believe Daddy had a financial understanding with Thomas regarding some, if not all, of this. It's quite possible that Daddy underwrote all of Thomas' dating expenses." "Did he ever ask you out on a date with him?" "Never! When they returned to Ridgeline, for breaks or for the summer, Thomas was always too busy to have time for dating. If he had dated, it probably wouldn't have been me he asked out. I was his friend's sister. Bunny had a good idea of how I felt, but I'm sure Thomas was oblivious, at least for the first few years. It was during their senior undergraduate year that the three began their negotiations together. I wasn't a party to any of their earliest talks. The first I learned about what they were discussing was from Bunny, and it was something he let slip." "Do you really think it was something that slipped? Couldn't he have been trying to discover if you were interested?" "That isn't Bunny's style, Kenny. He isn't devious. What he let slip was the building plans for the conversion of three guest rooms into a single large suite. At that time, my room was in the guest bedroom on the far side of Bunny's room, the room that is yours now. Beyond that room was Daddy's bedroom. We use that as a large guest room for the times when Bunny stays over now. When he mentioned converting the three guest rooms over, I asked him what possible reason he could have for doing that. That is when he told me that it was going to be Thomas' new living quarters, and that Thomas was going to be joining the company full time with Daddy, while Bunny went on to law school. This was the first I'd heard of any of their plans. It was also when I started becoming suspicious. I had seen the way Thomas started looking at me about then, as if he were trying to take my measure. My father started speaking to me of the need for me to plan for my future, saying that I couldn't spend my whole life, outside, whacking a little white ball all over the grounds." "How did you find out their plans?" "Thomas finally came to me. He made a confession of sorts, explaining that he felt uncomfortable with continuing with his talks unless I was told about what was being discussed. When he mentioned that they were discussing a proposed marriage between he and I, I got up from my chair and ran into my bedroom. I couldn't have been more shocked and surprised. I also admit to a moment of great excitement. Like my father, I too had a fear that golf was to be my sole social activity. I had begun taking part in various ladies golf tournaments in the surrounding area, and doing well in them too. I was meeting other people, and attempting to become somewhat more sociable. My emotional condition made it difficult, and I had to learn to play even during those times I felt like hiding in my room. That was so difficult for me. I always felt so vulnerable and alone, even in a room full of people." "How long did you stay in your room after Mr. Parsons told you they were making wedding plans?" "Until they had all gone away. Bunny and Thomas back to school, and Daddy, back to the company. It must have been three or four days at least. That was the first time that I hid in my room, pretending to have my melancholia, when I didn't really have it. I was in a serious state of emotional agitation though. Part of me wanted to scream in rebellion against those three deciding the course of my future life. Part of me wanted to leap with joy that someone else was assuming the responsibility for those decisions." "If you already liked him, and he knew it too, wouldn't it have been easier if you just said okay?" "Perhaps it would have been. I questioned Daddy about their plans, the very next time he came home, after I came back out of my room again. To him, it was a cut and dried business proposition. Bunny had put forward someone to replace him in the company's future management, which freed him to pursue a different career. Thomas wanted the newly vacated position of heir apparent to running the company. Daddy wanted to solve the problem of what to do about me, and wanted to bind Thomas more closely to the family to ensure his continued loyalty. For him, the negotiated agreement met all of those criteria. Everybody got something that they wanted. Everyone assumed that I would too. It was no secret that I had a crush on Thomas. We were all twenty two at the time. In my father's mind, it was past the time when I should select a mate." "You must have decided to do it, because here we are today, and you've been married for all these years." "I did decide to do it, Kenny. I waited for four years more though, before I did that. By the time I finally agreed, Bunny was through law school, and Thomas had proved that he could be an excellent replacement for my father should the need arise. I stayed in my bedroom, and they installed Thomas in what is now our suite. For four years, it was still unsettled. I insisted that Bunny remain living at home for appearances sake. Thomas was his friend, not my husband, or fiance. Daddy sided with me. He said nothing could be finalized until the wedding took place, and that it was up to Thomas to convince me that he was a worthy suitor, and deserving of my hand in marriage." "Four years? Why so long?" "I wanted a proper courtship. For the first year, there was no progress. Everyone assumed that I would eventually grow comfortable with Thomas' nearness, and just naturally gravitate over to accepting this arranged marriage. At the end of the first year, my father requested that I set the date. I refused, saying that I was less likely to consent after being ignored for the past year by my supposed future husband. For the first time, all three of them wanted to hear from me about what I wanted. I told them I demanded a companion, someone who showed concern and interest in my well being. Thomas had never done that. He was polite, but interested in his own pursuits, not mine. From that point forward, Thomas made at least an attempt to show an interest in me. At the end of the second year, I told Bunny it would be at least another ten years at the pace Thomas was moving, before I'd even consider consenting to a marriage. When he heard what I'd told Bunny, Thomas was livid with me. He threatened to move out, to go somewhere else for his employment. By then, Thomas had proven his worth in the business. He and my father had developed a close bond. Daddy believed Thomas' threat, but I knew better. He had already set his sights on taking over the business from Daddy." "Suppose he had left, would you have let him?" "He did leave, for three months. He found new employment, and he did well. Bunny moved into his own home in Ridgeline, close to his office. Daddy and I didn't speak for the entire time that Thomas was gone. He missed Thomas far more than I did. Daddy bought the company that Thomas worked for, and Thomas moved back in again. Daddy told him he needed to win me if he ever wanted to take over the company. He made it a challenge to Thomas. Bunny had to move back home because I threatened to move out if he didn't. That situation remained a stalemate until the end of the third year. We were twenty five then, none of us married, Daddy was getting impatient. That was when Thomas started playing golf with me everyday, trying in earnest to woo me over to him. Daddy told him to put all of his energy into getting me to marry him." "I can't imagine him just playing golf every day." "No, you're right. We played tennis too, in addition to the golf, and we went dancing at the club every Saturday night. Thomas overpowered me in tennis, but he never could beat me on the golf course. He first beat me at golf the last time we played together, Kenny. I didn't even think about that until he brought it up later that same evening. Thomas is always competitive, in everything he attempts. We danced together every dance, every Saturday night. Thomas made it into a contest of our stamina. I think getting me to marry him was the first time that anyone had set him to a task that he was unable to easily meet. I could see his frustration with my refusal to be cowed at his pursuit. We would be unmarried to this day if I hadn't lost a ball over in the trees on the left of the fifteenth hole. My tee shot got a vicious hook on it for some reason, and wound up buried deep in the woods. We both heard it hitting several limbs as it went in." "You never hook the ball." "Well, I did that time, Kenny. A dead pull hook it was too, almost classic. We walked the course back in those days, so we took off together, in search of my errant ball. It was while we were alone in that stand of trees that Thomas grabbed me and kissed me for the very first time. It was spontaneous on his part, I'm sure. Afterwards, he apologized to me, and soon after, we found my ball. I had to take an unplayable lie. We finished the match in silence, neither of us mentioning the incident again. "That night, at dinner, I told my father that Thomas and I were engaged to be married. I refused to answer any of their questions. My announcement that night gave Thomas all the remaining hint that he needed. In another month, our physical contact had reached a stage of great closeness and intimacy. I set the date for the wedding a day after Thomas had finally managed to seduce me." "That was what you had wanted from him?" "I wanted far more, but that was the very least that I'd settle for. It was right after our wedding, we had just returned from our honeymoon, that Thomas first informed me that we'd have no children in our marriage. He had undergone an operation prior to our wedding, to ensure that this was so. Daddy and Bunny both knew that he had had the operation, and they both approved of it. He told me once, years later, that, in addition to his worries about my emotional health being passed down to any possible children of ours, he had decided that we were to remain childless, in part, to deny me something he knew I wanted badly. It was his angry retribution for my having put him through so much trouble and turmoil before consenting to be his wife. "I so wanted children, Kenny, a house full of them. I would have divorced him right then, if he hadn't already made me love him so. In the end, he forced me to choose, and I chose him. Even from the short time you've been with me, I realize I paid too dear a price to have him." Mrs. Parsons had started crying when she came to the part about Mr. Parsons not letting her have any children. I put my arms around her then, and for a minute, I hated Mr. Parsons for what he had done to her. I wasn't too happy with both of the Mr. Chalmers either. Even with her melancholia, Mrs. Parsons would have been a great mother. She could have afforded to hire people to help out when she wasn't feeling well. I felt sad for her, even knowing that part of the reason I was living with her was a result of what Mr. Parsons had done. We finished our round, and then went straight home again. We each went into our bedrooms. I tried calling Brenda, but she was out practicing tennis with Ron. I went downstairs again, and had dinner in the kitchen with Gerta and Hans. The next morning, Mrs. Parsons was again indisposed. Hans took me out for my lesson, then brought me back right after, since it was too hot to play golf by myself out on the course. After lunch, I asked Hans to take me back to the country club so I could go swimming. I went over to the tennis courts and said hello to Brenda and Ron. I told her I'd be at the pool if she got through and decided to go for a swim. She told me she hadn't brought a bathing suit, but promised she would bring one the next day. I told her that I missed seeing her and talking to her. She told me she felt the same way, but they needed to learn how to play together, and doing that well meant practicing often. At the pool, I met two new girls. They were friends of Carol's, older girls that were back visiting after finishing their first year in college. Tracy and Frieda were the closest of friends, and were Carol's guests at the club. Neither of their families were country club members. Tracy was kind of cute, but Frieda looked a little like a younger version of Golda Meir. Watching and listening to the two of them talking, I found out that Tracy pretty much seemed to treat Frieda like her own personal servant. Frieda seemed to really like it that way too. She smiled a lot, even though Tracy wasn't usually being very nice to her. After half an hour, I got up and went into the water. It was hot, and I knew that Brenda had to be really suffering to play in all that heat. Two minutes after I went into the water, Carol came in too. She waded over to me, and then knelt down like I was, until only her head and neck were out of the water. "So, Kenny, what's new with you? You still chasing after Brenda?" "Yes. She's my girlfriend now. I'm supposed to tell you that Bea is on vacation for two weeks in Hawaii. She left Wednesday." "She never said anything about taking a vacation to me." "She didn't even know about it until almost the very last minute. She only found out for sure the day before she left. She went with Mr. Chalmers." "I don't know him, is that Bea's boyfriend or something?" "No. He's Mrs.Parsons brother, the lady Bea lives with and works for." "Did Bea tell you that she told me all about you? She's got a little thing for you, did you know that? She told me a lot of secrets about what you two have been doing together. It makes me wonder why you never seemed to pick up on me wanting to fool around with you. I know you already know how to. What does Bea have that I don't?" She looked at me, lifting up out of the water and striking a pose for me. "Access to my room, that's all. She used to sneak in while I was asleep. Sometimes I would be awake though. She was my sex teacher." "You gave Bea up for that Brenda? That's so hard for me to believe. Are you doing anything with Brenda?" "Not really, but we're talking about some things." "I'd like to do some things with you. I don't mean just talking about them either. Do you think you'd like that?" "Bea told me to stay away from you. She said you were her girl." I watched Carol's face redden, then I stood up and left the pool. "Kenny, that isn't funny. You know I'm not like that. Come on back and let's talk some more." I turned back and smiled at her. She was a very good looking girl. I had already had one or two thoughts about what Bea had told me. I wouldn't do it, but I still thought about it. "I promised her, Carol. I wouldn't want her to get mad at me." I went over and dried off on my towel and laid down on my lounger. In a minute more, Carol got out of the water and came over to sit by me. A few minutes later, Tracy and Frieda moved over close to the two of us. I turned over again, so that I was laying on my back and could see everyone. "Are you two fighting or anything?" Tracy had a concerned look on her face when she asked us that. I guess she didn't want to get involved in any of that out at the country club. "No, we're not fighting. Carol's upset that Bea went to Hawaii without telling her." "I am not. Why are you lying like that?" "I'm sorry. I was just kidding you. Tell me, why are you upset?" "You know. For what you said about me and Bea. I was hoping we could be friends." "We can be, Carol. I like having friends. Bea's my friend, and she told me some things. I already told you that Brenda was my girlfriend." Frieda spoke up then. It was the first time she said anything, at least anything I'd heard, that wasn't directed only at Tracy," "Who's Bea? Who's Brenda?" "Bea is a girl who helps out at my house, sort of a companion for the lady who owns the house. Brenda is my girlfriend, Brenda Connor?' "I know her. Isn't she about twelve or thirteen? How old are you anyway?" "I'll be fifteen in a couple of weeks. Brenda's the same age as I am, fourteen." "You're only fourteen? This is the same Kenny you were telling us about on the drive over here, Carol? The one you teased here at the pool that time?" I smiled and looked over at Carol, wanting to see what she said. "I didn't say I teased him. I flashed him, that's all. What difference does it make how old he is anyway? Look at him, isn't he cute?" Carol looked over at me and now she was smiling. "He's fourteen. Aren't you about nineteen, like me and Tracy?" Frieda wasn't letting go of this. "Frieda, shut up. What business is it of ours how old he is. If Carol likes him, who cares how old he is? Carol said you have a nice dick, Kenny. To me that's more important than your age." Tracy had gotten up on her elbows, and taken off her sun glasses, to stare at the front of my bathing suit. I resisted the urge to put my hands over my crotch to hide myself from her. "Is Carol telling us the truth about that?" Frieda looked shocked by her friend's casual boldness with me. My training from Bea kept me from becoming too flustered by her words. "I'm happy with it. Everything seems to work okay on it. Is Frieda your girlfriend?" I was actually really curious about that. With some of the things Bea had said, I wondered whenever I saw two girls together like that. Frieda looked embarrassed, but Tracy wasn't. "Not exactly, but I let her help me out once in awhile. Does that shock you?" "No, I'm starting to expect it from a lot of the girls I see now. I'm just now starting to learn anything about girls. Where I'm from, there weren't any girls. What about Carol, does she help you out too?" "Not yet she doesn't. Why, do you think she'd be interested in helping me out like Frieda does?" Both of us were looking at Carol and smiling at her. She looked back and forth at us too. She looked worried at the direction the conversation was moving. "Do you help Frieda too, or is it just her helping you?" "Carol your little friend is really interesting. He asks such grown up questions too. I think I'm going to quit talking to him now, to stop encouraging him. Frieda, let's go get wet." Tracy stood up and walked over to the pool. Frieda looked at me one more time, then went chasing after her friend. Carol turned over on her side, so that she was facing me. She waited until Tracy and Frieda were out of hearing range. "Kenny, don't tell them about Bea, okay? They do that kind of thing all the time, but I don't. If you tell them anything, they'll tell other people, and my reputation around here will really be bad. Please, don't say anything to them, all right?" "Bea thought you were going to be curious, and would want to try things with other girls. She told me you really liked it. She said you were a natural." "Bea's wrong, Kenny. It was interesting, but I like boys a lot better." "Bea's never wrong, Carol. She's a professional. Sex is what she usually does for a living. If she says you're a natural, I have to believe her. Are you trying to get Tracy or Frieda?" "Oh my God, Kenny, please don't say anything like that to them. It was Tracy I was going to talk to, hoping to learn about that, but now I've changed my mind. Don't say anything to Bea either, okay?" "Why do you care if Bea finds out? She wouldn't mind. She predicted it." "Did she tell you everything we did?" "I don't think so. She said you went to a movie and then did something in Hans and Gerta's car." "I was Bea that started it, Kenny. I was just a little curious, that's all. After she did me, she asked me to do her too. I didn't want to, but I didn't know how I could refuse." "She said you liked it. She said you were almost as good as Mr. Chalmers, and she really liked how he did it to her." "I didn't like it. I did it because she wanted me too, and because she had done it to me. She made me so I couldn't really think too clearly, that's why I did it." "Is that why you wanted to do it with Tracy too, to make sure that you really didn't like it?" "I did like what Bea did to me. I'm not saying I didn't like that. That was what I wanted to find out about, whether it would be the same with Tracy or not." "You already knew Tracy did that?" "Everybody knows. She only dates girls, ever since back in junior high school. She's invited me over to her house a hundred times, but I never went yet. Frieda just does what Tracy tells her to. She's in love with Tracy." I listened as she talked more about her worries, and about her fears of being found out. When she finished talking about it, I realized that Bea had really thrown her for a loop by having sex with her. She was probably mistaking Bea's professional competence with what she'd get from just any other girl. I figured she had to find that out for herself. That made me wonder if Bea had done the same thing to me. Was I going to be disappointed when Brenda and I did it? I thought about it, but the answer came to me as soon as I closed my eyes and thought about Brenda. There was no contest. With my feelings for Brenda, it was going to be much better than what Bea and I did. I wondered if Mrs. Parsons understood that she was still in love with Mr. Parsons. She never denied loving him now, but some of the things she said about him made it seem like she didn't think she loved him. I watched her before, when she was talking about him, and I was sure that she still loved him. What I wasn't sure of, was whether he loved her or not. I got up and said goodbye to Carol and her friends at four o'clock. I showered and changed, then called Hans. While I was waiting, I went back over to the tennis courts and watched Ron and Brenda playing tennis. Brenda really looked tired. I wondered if winning the tournament was going to be worth all the suffering she was doing out there on the court. She was working so hard in order to get herself ready. It was more than I would be willing to put myself through just to win that tourney. Before, I had been doing it for Brenda. Then, it had seemed worth all that pain and suffering. Brenda took a break when she saw me, and came out to spend a few minutes with me before Hans came. I told her she was trying to work too hard, but she assured me that it was worth it to her. I told her I'd call her right after dinner. She promised that she'd be home by then. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 19 It was almost eight o'clock before dinner was finished and I could go up to my room to call Brenda. Mrs. Parsons came downstairs when Hans, Gerta and I were about halfway through eating dinner in the kitchen. She was drunk and weeping, dressed in her robe, and obviously rumpled from too little rest. She sat with us through the remainder of dinner, but refused to eat anything. Gerta had to help her back up the stairs, and sit with her until she finally fell asleep. This was the first time I had actually observed Mrs. Parsons in the grip of her melancholia. I couldn't imagine going through something like that for weeks at a time, especially when sleeping was either difficult or impossible for her, without taking something. At the kitchen table she had been talking aimlessly about her mother, something about believing that her mother had suffered from the same problem she now lived with. Gerta assured her that this wasn't true. Gerta had worked for the late Mrs. Chalmers for several years before her death, and she told Mrs. Parsons that her mother hadn't been unhappy. By the time I went upstairs to call Brenda, I felt unsettled by Mrs. Parsons condition. Mr. Parsons was starting his vacation in the morning. I had hoped that he and his wife could work out their problems with the time they'd both be spending together through the week. Now, with his attitude about her condition, seeing her like she was, there was little chance for any reconciliation between them. I didn't have any ideas of what I could do to help either. I dialed Brenda's number. When she came to the phone, she was too tired to make much of an effort at conversation with me. One piece of good news was that Mrs. Taylor had put her foot down with Ron about too much practicing in the heat, and he was grounded from practicing on Saturday. I felt good about that until Brenda asked me to practice with her in his place. "Brenda, you need a break. Look how tired you are right now. If you go out again tomorrow, you'll be too tired to play well on Sunday. Take a break from it. Let's go to the pool and just relax together." "Kenny, I have to practice if I'm going to play well enough for Ron to want to keep me as his partner. I might only have this one chance. That's all he gave his own cousin." "Brenda, you're already way better than she was. You'll play better if you get some rest before the tourney. I won't practice with you, not tomorrow." "This is important to me, Kenny. With Ron as my partner, I could gain entry into a lot of tournaments. I'd get some great experience, experience I'd never be able to get on my own. I have to try my hardest to do well." "The problem with that is that you're working so hard before the tournament, you won't have anything left at the tournament. You're the one that told me that last week, remember? Doesn't that hold true for you too?" "How about if we just hit balls together for an hour before lunch, and then another hour before we leave? Just enough so I can make sure I'm ready for Sunday." "I'll pick you up at ten. We'll practice for one hour, and then we go swimming, okay?" "Another hour before we leave too?" "We'll see. Not if it's as hot as it was today. Ten o'clock, so be ready. Tomorrow, let's relax and spend time thinking about something besides tennis, okay?" I went back downstairs after nine o'clock, to get a snack and to tell Hans that I needed a ride to Brenda's and the club in the morning. Mr. Parsons was just coming in the door when I got down to the bottom of the stairs. He wasn't supposed to be home until later on Saturday. He was a whole day early, and Mrs. Parsons was in no condition to greet him. He saw me as he was putting all three pieces of his luggage down. "Kenny, come give me a hand with all of this, will you? Has Bertie retired already?" I went to help him, trying to think of something to tell him that wouldn't cause trouble for Mrs. Parsons. "She went to sleep. She's been thinking about her mother, and it made her upset." "Why does she do that to herself? Her mother has been dead for more than thirty years. She wonders why she gets so damn depressed, well that's why! She should try to live in the present, damn it. What good does it do for anyone to worry about the past?" "It's my fault, I got her talking about growing up, and she was telling me about her childhood. Her mother came up in our conversation." "No matter. If it hadn't been that, it would have been something else. It always is with her." "I don't know why she even loves you when you are so mean to her." That just kind of slipped out. I was worried, and I had begun to get into the habit of not holding things in like I always had done at the orphanage. As soon as I said it, I wished I could take it back. I knew it would make him angry with me. He didn't say anything, but he did hand me a big suitcase to carry for him. We didn't say anything else to each other as he started for the staircase, and I followed behind him. The suitcase he gave me was heavy, and I needed both arms to carry it up the stairs. He went to the door of their bedroom and opened it and turned on the light switch by the door. At first, I thought he was going to wake up Mrs. Parsons, but then I remembered she had her own bedroom and it had a door of its own. He turned left and went over to his bedroom and opened that door and turned on another light in there. He put his suitcase down, and his suit holder on top of that, before turning and taking the other bag out of my hands, and placing it inside with the others. When he had his luggage in his room and out of the doorway, he shut off the light in there, closing the door again. He and I then left the suite together. "Come downstairs with me Kenny. I need to get something to eat, and I want you to fill me in on what's been happening. I found out a few hours ago that Bunny took off for Hawaii with Beatrice, is that true?" He was walking down the stairs fast, and I had to hurry to keep up with him so I could hear him when he talked to me. At the bottom of the stairs, he headed straight to the kitchen. It was empty when we got there, so he turned on the lights and went over and rang the buzzer that sounded in Hans and Gerta's bedroom, before going over to the refrigerator and looking inside. "Well, are you going to tell me about that or not?" "It's true, They left on Wednesday." "Details, Kenny. Give me all the juicy details. How did Bertie take the news? Where did Bunny summon the courage to even ask her? Has there been something going on between those two? I want to hear it all." He was rummaging through the fridge the whole time he was asking me all these questions, pulling out a few things that Gerta had put away in containers. Before I could get a chance to answer any of his questions, Gerta came into the kitchen, saw who it was, and shooed both of us out of her kitchen. Mr. Parson's grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge before he moved away from it. He opened the bottle, then he and I went into the dining room. I heard Gerta talking in German as we left. She didn't sound too happy about being summoned so late to fix Mr. Parsons something to eat. We sat down at the table. He sat in his usual spot, and I sat down next to him "Well? Tell me first how Bertie reacted." "She was upset, mad at Mr. Chalmers." "I shouldn't wonder. What did she say?" "She didn't really say anything, but she stayed up in her room for awhile, after she found out about it. She didn't come down until after they left for Hawaii." "Tell me how Bunny asked her to accompany him? I've known him for almost thirty years. I'd have given long odds against this ever happening. It boggles my mind that he'd do this, especially right now. If it was anyone else but Bunny, it would be easier for me to believe. Were you anywhere around them when he asked her? Did you hear it?" "It was Monday when he called me after the merger was announced, so I could call Mr. Connor to tell him about him not being out of business." "Stop. Tell me how Walt took the news." "He was happy, and grateful. He told me to let you, Mrs. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers know that he wouldn't forget that. He had been real worried before my call." "I'll bet. I bet he was cussing all of us out?" "No. I told him before he got the chance to." "Back to Bunny, Kenny. Tell me how he asked her. Not over the phone. Tell me he didn't ask her with a phone call." "He didn't ask her, I did." He looked at me when I said that, then he started laughing. "That's Bunny. That is so like him to do it that way. What did he tell you to say to her when you asked her?" "He just told me to ask her if she wanted to go to Hawaii with him, for a two week vacation. He said I could tell her it was purely platonic or something like that." "The dog. Kenny, tell me what I really want to know." "She said yes?" "Don't play dumb with me. I know you already know what I mean. How long has he been seeing her? How long has he been burying his bone in her?" I tried to look like I didn't understand what he meant, but he just laughed at me. Gerta brought in two plates for us, and a glass of milk for me and another beer for Mr. Parsons. My plate had a cold cut sandwich on it, and Mr. Parsons had leftover Fried chicken with some of Gerta's good potato salad. She had heated up the chicken too. It smelled good. When Gerta left, he looked over at my sandwich, the same way I was eying his chicken. "You want to switch?" I nodded that I did, and so we did that. "She went up to Bolling with him last week when he went to the courthouse, and I visited my old orphanage. She offered to have sex with him, but he turned her down. After they dropped me off, she talked him into it. She told me that he was a lot better than she expected." "She should have asked me. Bunny has a hard time getting dates the first time, but if he manages to get inside their knickers once, he can call them anytime after, and they'll drop whatever they're doing to go out with him. In college, I had the opposite problem. An ex girlfriend of mine, one that later dated Bunny, once told me that Bunny really liked and appreciated the girl he was with. She said that Bunny cared about their pleasure. She went on to say that I was a self absorbed jerk, and not half the sex partner that Bunny was." "Bea said almost the same thing, except she didn't call you a jerk. She said you were selfish, and only out to please yourself." "Kenny, while what you just said may be the absolute truth, and excellent reporting on your part, it was in poor taste for you to tell me that. As for Beatrice, it doesn't surprise me that she would be talking about me that way. Speaking of poor taste, I'm not exempting myself from censure either. What I did with her was extremely poor judgment on my part. It has probably cost me my marriage." I was busy eating the chicken when he stopped talking. He didn't sound as happy about the divorce as I thought he might be. He started eating his sandwich too, so we both sat there, eating and not talking. It didn't take us all that long to finish our snacks. Mr. Parsons had finished his first beer and was just starting on his second one. "She told me about how the two of you got married, and about all the trouble, and how long it took you to give her what she wanted. Didn't you even like her a little bit?" "I'm not comfortable sitting here discussing my marriage with you, Kenny. But, since Bertie told you her side, I think I should be allowed to tell mine. We did get off to something of a rocky beginning, but, on the whole, I consider our marriage a success. I know many men who married solely for love, and then, they were divorced within five years time. Bertie and I weren't impetuous. Our relationship was based on a sound foundation, with good economic and social advantages for the two of us. That it had to be an arranged marriage is of no consequence now. What matters is that we both made the best of the circumstances we each found ourselves in. In a different set of circumstances, had we been social equals from the beginning, Bertie wouldn't have felt the need to keep putting me in my proper place as she did. Had she been more accepting, I might have been closer to what she was seeking in a mate." "That isn't what she thinks." "I've been all over this with her for the past twenty five years, Kenny. Believe me when I tell you that I know what she thinks. I've heard it from her lips a thousand times. I've heard all about how I cared more for her brother, her father, and my place in the company, than I ever did for her. That is pure claptrap, but that is her peculiar fixation, and nothing I can say to her will ever sway her belief. Believe me, I've tried." "She loves you." "She has a funny way of demonstrating that to me. Why do you say that?" "Because she does. I hear it when she talks about you. She's mad at you, for a lot of things, not just Bea either. The thing she's maddest about is that you never loved her back. She loved you, but you didn't ever love her." "Love is mostly a woman's emotion. I'm fond of Bertie. I want her to come out of her self imposed shell, to enjoy all that she's been given. I might have shown her more of what she calls love if she had." "You think she made it hard on you, waiting so long for her to agree to marry you. Look how long she waited for you to be in love with her. I've only known her for a month and a half, but I already love her more than you ever did." I was yelling that at him, because I was so mad about what he had just said. It was like what he did to her by getting that operation so they couldn't have children. Now he was saying it was her fault that he didn't love her. He got really mad at me and stood up, knocking his chair way back behind him. Gerta came running out of the kitchen to see what we were being mad about. I stood up too, too mad to worry about him hitting me. "She never hooks the ball! Never. She only did that for you, so you'd have a chance to kiss her. The same way she let you beat her in golf when we all played together. She already knew about you and Bea, and about you selling the company, and making your own money. She let you win, because she loves you, and she knew you always wanted to beat her. She didn't want you to go without having that from her too. Now you have it all, everything you ever wanted. Now you can leave." I ran past Gerta, not slowing down, not even when I ran up the staircase and over to my room. I closed the door, locking it after me. I'd done it now. There was no way they were going to let me stay there anymore. I had once again violated my number one rule for surviving. He made me so mad though, making everything seem like it was all her fault. I'd miss Mrs. Parsons and Hans and Gerta. I wanted to call Brenda and tell her what happened, but it was already too late to call her. Then, I remembered that Mr. Chalmers was in Hawaii. They couldn't send me back before he returned. I still had a week and a half to spend here. Mrs. Parsons would have to approve of him sending me away before that. Maybe she'd pick me over him again, like she had that time when he tried to do the badger game on me with Bea. I went to bed after waiting half an hour to see if he was going to try to come to my room and throw me out. When he didn't, I finally had calmed down enough to get undressed and under the covers. I didn't cry or anything, but I felt real bad. I got up and was downstairs at seven, hoping to get something to eat before I had to deal with Mr. Parsons again. Gerta and Hans were in the kitchen already, and Gerta gave me a big hug when I walked in there. She made me scrambled eggs and bacon, burning the bacon so it was nice and hard, just the way I liked it. She even sat down by me while I was eating it. I asked Hans if he could still take me over to get Brenda and go out to the club by ten, and he said sure. At least Mr. Parsons hadn't said anything yet to Hans and Gerta about cutting off my privileges. I'd have a chance to spend the day with Brenda. I was about halfway through with breakfast when Mr. Parsons came into the kitchen. "Kenny, please come see me in my study after you finish your breakfast." He left right after he said that. He didn't even wait around long enough for me to tell him I would be there. I had suddenly lost my appetite, but I still finished everything on my plate, and in my glass. I was already trying to train myself to get back in the mind set I had back when I lived at St. Cecelia's. I took as long as I dared before getting up and thanking Gerta for the breakfast. She and Hans both looked worried for me, and that just made me more scared. They knew Mr. Parsons a lot better than I did. I finally made myself leave and walk over to his study. When I got there, the door was closed, so I had to knock on it. "Come in, Kenny." I opened the door and Mr. Parsons was sitting behind his desk. He looked at me and motioned me over to a chair across from him. I was glad that the desk was between us. I had been afraid that he was going to spank me or hit me for what I'd said to him the night before. I sat down, but I didn't sit back in the chair. I wanted to be able to get up quick if I needed to. "Have you calmed down yet from last night? Are you ready to continue our little talk?" He said it in a normal tone of voice, like he wasn't even mad at me. I was still suspicious, but I was more relieved than anything else. I nodded that I was ready. "Good. I don't mind you speaking your mind to me, Kenny, I think that's a healthy thing. We have a difference of opinion though, and I'm forced to believe my opinion is a lot closer to reality than yours is. Just for the sake of argument though, I'd like for you to explain that comment you made about Bertie hooking that ball. I'm assuming you are discussing the ball she hit into the trees at fifteen almost twenty two years ago. Am I correct in that assumption?" I nodded again that he was correct. "Let me hear your justification for your assertions." "In the first place, Mrs. Parsons has a natural slice swing, she has to work on it to make her drives go straight. I've never see any kind of hook on any of her balls, ever. I bet you can't think of any other hook she ever hit either?" "I'll concede your point, but all golfers miss hit the ball occasionally. I'm sure that is what it was. Why are you leaping to such a tortured conclusion, that it was something done deliberately on her part? She couldn't have known that I'd kiss her. I didn't know myself until I just did it. That kiss was only brought about because a random beam of sunlight happened to make it through the trees at that one particular moment and angle, in order to shine on her face in just the right way. It was that beam of light that put the thought of doing it into my head." "She was tired of waiting for you to start courting her. She wasn't looking for a golf or tennis partner, or someone to dance every dance with her on Saturday night. She wanted someone to want her, and to need her. She had already made up her mind that someone was you, but you weren't cooperating with her. She finally had to start giving you big hints, because she was getting older, and everyone was getting impatient for it to be over with, including her." "It seems she's told you quite a lot, but she didn't tell it to you this way I'm sure. How much is what you've read into what she told you?" "Maybe some, but I know I'm right." "If I accepted what you've said, and I don't, that still leaves your ridiculous claim of her throwing the game when the four of us played golf. She didn't even realize that was the only time I'd ever beaten her, not until I reminded her of that fact much later in the day. Bertie is a competitor, Kenny, she wouldn't ever let herself be beaten deliberately." "She knew it even while she was doing it. I saw her looking at the scorecard all the time after the twelfth hole. She started playing shots she'd never normally play, right after you made that eagle." "Pressure. She knew I had a real chance to beat her. She hadn't played much over the past ten years, She was rusty, that's all." "I might believe that, if I hadn't watched her doing the same kind of thing with Mrs. Connor, trying to encourage her to keep playing. She might be rusty, but she'd posted par golf rounds over her last two scores before we all played together. She was only one over on the front. She let you win. No other possibility." "Georgia beat Bertie too?" "No, but she made the match a lot closer so that Mrs. Connor wouldn't be discouraged with her play. The main thing was when she was telling me the story of how the two of you finally got together, to get engaged and then married. She said you finally had enough hints to take it from there on your own. She meant her telling her father that you were engaged right after you kissed her in the trees on fifteen. That was when you figured out that she wanted romantic attention from you. If you had kissed her from the beginning, she would have married you right away." "An interesting hypothesis, Kenny. Bunny was right, about your mental abilities at least. It still seems pretty far fetched to me. Why wouldn't she simply tell me what she wanted? Why put all of us through all that?" "Pride? She knew you didn't like her that way, not in the beginning. She didn't want to be married to someone who only agreed to it in order to further his career. You needed to show her that you wanted her, at least a little, before she would marry you." "Now that you've explained how it is we got together, are you also going to tell me what went wrong in our marriage?" "When you had the operation, before you got married, so that she wouldn't have children." "At her father's insistence. We were all concerned about Bertie's depression. Her father didn't want her to pass it along to our children, in case it was genetic in nature. Bunny got his own vasectomy at the same time as I did, and for the same reason." "She told me what you told her. About getting it done because you were mad at her, and wanted to prevent her from having what she wanted, the same way she had prevented you from what you wanted for so long." Mr. Parsons face got red. He was mad. "She had no right to tell you that I said that. I said that to her once, only once, at a time when I was very angry with her. I made it up, just to hurt her, like she'd just hurt me. Sometimes, in the heat of a battle, people say things, not because they're true, but because we know their saying that will cut the deepest. I'm not proud of saying that to her, and that isn't why I submitted to that operation." "I don't know, that's what she told me. I do know she still loves you, although I can't figure out why. Do you know why she does?" "I think part of it is that I never gave up on trying to get her to try to become strong enough to overcome her weakness. To keep fighting it, rather than simply give in to it. She told me once that she admired that quality in me, my willingness to keep fighting, even when I know I'll never win. She was referring to our golf competition, but as you saw, she was wrong. I did eventually, prevail." "She let you win." "Perhaps. How I won isn't as important as the fact that I did win. If you set your mind to something, never giving up, sooner or later, you will always prevail. Even if you should die, before prevailing, you could still take comfort in never having given up on your attempt. To me, the not giving up is much more important than simply prevailing." "You should try to love her then. Tell her this is what you've set your mind to doing." "It doesn't work that way. If one could simply will himself to loving someone, marriage would be entirely different for all of us. Unfortunately, love isn't something that you can control like that. Knowing that, I am resigned to what I now feel for her." "She loves you. Nobody else I've ever met even likes you, except Mr. Chalmers. Just for loving you for all this time, she deserves to have you love her back." "I'm glad we had this talk, Kenny. When you are older, and more experienced in life, you'll look back on our conversation and realize how unlikely it is that you were right." "That isn't what I'll realize. I know I'm right already. Years from now, when I look back on today, I'll think exactly what I'm thinking right now. You have the power to help her, you're probably the only one that could help her, but, you aren't going to even try, because you know if you ever loved her, you'd have given in completely to the Chalmers family. They'd have gotten everything you had. They would have won. Even if, by their winning, you'd have ended up being happier because of it. To you, loving her means you losing the real contest of your life." "You couldn't be more wrong. I'm grateful to all of them for what they made possible for me. I've spent my entire adult life attempting to prove them correct in their placing so much faith in me." "Keep on telling yourself that. Maybe you'll find someone else who believes it. I come from a place where people expected me to be grateful for every little thing they ever did for me. I understand how you feel. I tried to never give the sisters everything they wanted. If I had given in to them, it would have cost me the last thing I had left that was all mine. I couldn't do it either, so I understand why you can't." "Tell me, Kenny. What was that last thing that you think you needed to keep? What do you and I have in common?" "I didn't want them to own me." He nodded to me, sitting back in his chair, then he dropped his gaze, staring down at his desk. "You can't ever be owned, Kenny." "Not unless you love someone enough to let them own you." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 20 We picked up Brenda a little before ten, and it was already getting hot outside. Brenda seemed happy to see me, but she started right in about wanting us to practice together in the afternoon too. I didn't want to get into a big argument about it, so I said that we would wait and see how the morning practice went, and then decide. We practiced for a little over an hour before I stopped playing. Brenda wasn't ready to stop, arguing that a few more minutes wouldn't hurt either of us. I didn't argue with her. Instead, I went and put my racquet away and waited for her in the bleachers. It took about five minutes, but, when she realized I wasn't going to be moved by her pleas to continue practicing with her, she too packed up. We went to the clubhouse to shower and change into our swimming clothes. The pool was great. We actually talked about a lot of things that had nothing to do with tennis. We played together under the water too, not sexually, at least not in the feeling up way, but we both reached out just to touch the other. At one point, we were sitting together on the stairs at the shallow end of the pool, and seeing how close together we could sit, from shoulder to toes. I had missed Brenda, even though I'd seen her most days, it was never for long, and it was always while she was doing something else. At lunch, we sat in a corner and had steak sandwiches. We talked about it being only another month before school started. There was only six months difference in our ages, but being a year behind me in school meant I'd be in high school, and Brenda would still be in junior high. That was a big difference, and we both knew it. In the summer, it didn't matter too much, but it would again when school started back up. For some reason, Brenda had gotten seriously worried about Claudia being after me, like she thought I would be unable to resist her or something. I had kidded around with Brenda about it in the past, but it had only been me kidding. Claudia was cute, and sexy, but I didn't like the way she flirted with all the boys, or her seeming willingness to spread her charms around with a multitude of different partners. I really was only interested in Brenda, and I tried to make her understand that. "When school starts you'll see Claudia everyday, and all those other girls too." "So? I can see a lot of them right here at the club. Most of them are your friends too." "My mother says I should wait until next year before having a serious relationship with you." "She said serious relationship?" "Yes. Isn't what we have, serious?" "It is for me, but I'm surprised your mother encourages you to think that way." "If it was up to mother, I'd get married as soon as I found the right guy. She's the one who always tells me that the right guy doesn't come around that often. Of course, she really likes you, Kenny. She says that you have it all." "What all?" "Looks and money, plus, she said that Mrs. Parsons told her you were very smart. My father is smart, and he used to look a lot better before he gained so much weight. My mother said he was the best looking boy in high school, and the best athlete too. Richard is good looking too, don't you think?" "I guess. His attitude is his big problem, plus, he likes being a jerk and a bully. I told you I don't have any money. You keep saying that I'm rich, but I'm not. Is Ron rich?" "Ron Taylor? I don't know. His father's a doctor though. Ron's twelve years old. You aren't jealous of Ron?" Brenda was smiling at me, ready to laugh at me if I admitted that I was jealous. "I'm not jealous, but I was wondering if he was rich too, besides being such a good tennis player?" "If you aren't jealous, why were you wondering?" "Bea is looking for someone new to teach, and I just thought if Ron's family is rich, maybe they could afford to hire her to teach him." "He's twelve. I don't think he even started liking girls yet. You know who would like Bea to teach him, I bet? Darryl Kingsley. He's the boy I was talking to in the pool the other day? He said some weird things to me and I told him to go away. I bet he just doesn't know anything about girls. His mother is rich, I know that. I think his father is either divorced from them or else dead. Do you want me to ask him?" "Brenda, I was just kidding you. Bea's leaving soon anyway. She thinks she wants to go to California. Probably next month sometime. How come you don't like Darryl, if his mother is so rich?" "I never said I didn't like him. Sometimes he acts like Richard does, and I don't like that. Claudia did it with Darryl too. She said he wasn't as bad at it as Richard was, but he was too nervous about someone catching them. You know what else she told me?" I shook my head no, that I didn't know. "She said she thinks one of the two employees that turned Richard and her in before was a guy she did it with before. She said he's nineteen years old, and he was the best one she did it with so far. That's what she said too, so far." "She's only fifteen years old, and she already did it with seven boys, that's a lot." Brenda laughed. "Eight boys." "You said seven." "I know, but I talked to her again last night, and now it's up to eight." Brenda seemed to have a pretty accepting attitude towards Claudia's wildness, and I was pretty sure I didn't like that. When I first met her, she had told me that the two of them used to be friends before Claudia had gotten so boy crazy. I didn't like her talking to Claudia so much now, or the topic of their conversation either. I wondered how much Brenda was telling Claudia about what we were doing. "Do you tell Claudia about the things we've done?" She looked at me, then dipped one of her French fries in catsup before putting it into her mouth. I could already tell that she had, just from the way she did that. I waited for her to speak. "I told her what we've done so far, but we haven't done that much yet. She tells me I should just go ahead and do it with you. She said I was making a mistake to hold off and wait. That's her way though, not mine. Don't start thinking that I'm like she is, or else you're going to be very disappointed." "No, don't start being like she is, or then I will be very disappointed. Do you think that's who I want you to be like, Claudia? She's the last person I want you to be like, unless it was Bea." "Claudia's mother put her on birth control. She takes a little pill every day to make sure she doesn't get pregnant. I bet you'd like me to ask my mother to put me on it too." Brenda smiled at me, like she was flirting with me. I wondered if she was trying to find out if I did want that. Did I want her to take the pill? I didn't even know they had pills like that until Bea told me about them. I hadn't thought about that for Brenda. I didn't even know if we were going to do it soon, or whether it was going to be something for a lot later. If we did start doing it, I wouldn't want to make her pregnant. If I told her to get the pills, and then her mother got them for her, would she tell Mr. Connor about it? I didn't like thinking about that happening. "Do you think you're going to need to be on them anytime soon?" I had to smile too when I asked her. There was something about discussing something as grown up as needing birth control that made me feel different about myself, older maybe. "Not soon, soon, but Claudia said it also helped make her periods more regular. Mine aren't regular, and if I got the pill, Claudia says they would be. She says it takes a whole month before they start working against getting pregnant. If I did ask my mother, I'd tell her it wasn't because you and I were doing anything. I wouldn't mind having a regular period, or being protected that other way too, just in case we did do something someday." "I think you have to decide. I'm not in any hurry if you aren't. I mean, I'm comfortable with the way we are now." "I am too. Now, we're not really doing anything, it isn't like we're even close to doing that, right?" "Right. Touching isn't that much. I mean it is, and I loved it when we did, but I meant it isn't even close to the other thing." "Do you want to take a walk after lunch, Kenny? We could walk down to the end of the driveway and back, just to walk off our lunches." "Sure, I'm pretty full, besides, we can't go in the pool right away because of the cramps." "Pay the bill and let's go. We can talk about that other thing in private better anyway." I signed for lunch and then we went for our walk. I was wearing moccasins, while Brenda had on a pair of Zorris, so we walked slowly down the country club driveway. We both knew we were heading for the privacy of the trees, and that we'd be feeling each other up when we got there. We were holding hands and looking at each others faces. I felt a closeness with Brenda, something I hadn't felt with Bea. I felt other things too, things besides closeness. These things I had felt with Bea. I wanted to do everything with Brenda, everything I'd done with Bea, and even more. We were halfway to the trees before I remembered the promise I'd made to Brenda before, about us setting limits, and me making sure we didn't go past them. I cursed myself for forgetting so soon about my promise. When I was done with that, I cursed myself even more for remembering it like that, even before we went into the trees. "Brenda, we need to stop right here and decide on what limits we're going to set." She frowned when I said that. She knew what I was referring to. "I thought we were just walking. Did you have something else planned?" Now, both of us knew that this was a lie. She knew, right when she first suggested we take a walk, what we were really going to be doing. I knew, that if I told her that, we'd end up only going for a walk, and there wouldn't be any time spent hidden in the trees. It was like a game of chess with Brenda, and I didn't play chess. I guessed that she didn't want to have any preset limits if we went into the woods, but that she didn't feel comfortable saying that to me. I didn't want any either, but I didn't feel comfortable with going back on my promise to her. "We don't have to go into the trees, Brenda, we can just walk down and back, if that's what you want. I kind of hoped we could stop for awhile and do some more kissing and possibly some touching like we did before. I don't want you to have to worry about things if we do go in there. If we did go, I promise not to go past what we did before, and to not let you go past there either." Brenda was looking at me like she was both nervous and excited. I saw her wet her lips several times, but she didn't say anything. Finally, she wet her lips again, and went ahead and told me what she had in mind. "If we were to go in there again, like you suggested, I want to see your snake. Just for a minute, I want to look at it. I'm not going to show you my kitty yet, because I'm not ready for that, but you can pet it if you want to." I thought about what she said. I sure didn't mind showing her my dick. I had to decide though, about whether or not I wanted to do it without her having to show me her pussy in return. I was really curious about that red hair she had talked about having. I loved the copper color of the hair she had on her head, but it was different than her eyebrow hair. Her eyebrow hair wasn't what I'd call red, it was a brownish color with a little coppery highlight to it. "I'm very curious about the hair on your kitty. When I pet it, is it okay if I move your suit bottoms out of the way so I can see what shade of red it is?" "I'm not sure if I want you to do that, Kenny. Why don't you just pet it while I look at your snake? Maybe I'll change my mind after you've petted it some." "Remember I said we had to agree before we got too excited? If we don't, who knows what might happen? We could end up doing a lot more than we wanted to. I did promise you I'd do only what we agreed on, before we got excited." "You aren't already excited?" Brenda started making a pouting face when she asked me that. "No, I'm excited, but I'm still able to think. Later, I might not be able to. You need to decide now." We had reached the place where we usually left the driveway. Brenda pulled my hand with both of hers, towards the trees, but I resisted her pull. "Come on, Kenny. I'll decide later. If I decide now, I might want to change my mind later. Just let's do what we said, and if you pull apart my suit bottoms, I'll either tell you to quit it, or I'll let you." That was good enough for me. It was the same as her saying I could look, but she could decide later to tell me I couldn't. Once we were back far enough in the woods so no one could see us, I pulled my bathing suit down to my knees. Brenda smiled at me and came in closer to me. We kissed for just a minute, with my arms pressed around her. She didn't hug me back, but that was because both of her hands were on my front. One was pulling on my dick, and the other was touching my ball sac. I didn't waste too much time either, before I put my hand between her legs. As soon as I started rubbing her there, she opened her legs even more for me. I had her suit bottoms pulled aside quickly, so that I had my hand touching her bare pussy. I didn't have to worry about her not liking me doing that. In a minute, I had found her little clitty bump, and I was touching all around it too. She liked that even more. When I started running another finger back and forth in her pussy slit, she started moving her hips all over. She was slippery when she moved like that, but I found her hole anyway. I pressed my finger in just a little bit, using only my thumb up against her clitty. She started moaning when I did that, and pulled harder on my dick and started squeezing my balls too hard. I made a noise when she did that, catching her wrist with my free hand. "That hurts when you do that, Brenda." She looked at me funny, and then moved in closer to me. I'd stopped rubbing her when she hurt me, but I started up again when she started wiggling against my fingers. We spent another few minutes like that, her just holding my dick, but not moving her hand, and me playing with her pussy. I tried to kiss her, but she kept moving her face all around. That's when I looked down at her pussy. She was right about it being red hair. It was the same color as her freckles, a soft red. There wasn't a lot of hair either, certainly nothing like Bea had. I watched my thumb rubbing her clitty, and saw how she moved her hips around to make my thumb touch the places where she wanted me to touch. "Put you finger back where it was, Kenny. That felt nice." I just kept watching her hips rotating back and forth. Every once in awhile, she'd scoot down a little, and then raise back up again. I couldn't figure out why she did that. I never saw Bea doing that, or if she had, I hadn't noticed it. "Kenny, your finger, put it back." I put my finger back, but I still watched her, and now, when she moved, I could feel why she was doing that. I thought she was moving down and up before, but she was moving up, and then down. When she moved down, unless I moved my finger, it went in further. Now that I knew what she was trying to do, I started moving my finger by myself. Brenda grabbed my arm, and held my hand in place, while I did that to her. I told her that we needed to stop and get back, but she wasn't listening to me. I stopped moving my finger, but she just started moving her hips while keeping my arm held steady. "I hear someone coming, I think." as soon as I said that, Brenda pushed my hand away and reached down to smooth her bathing suit bottoms. I grabbed my swimming trunks and pulled them back up. We both kept quiet, listening to see if we heard anything. I hadn't really heard anything, but we'd already gone past where we were supposed to stop. I took Brenda's hand and started towards the driveway. This time, it was Brenda who resisted. "Put those fingers in your mouth, Kenny. Taste me again." I looked at her, and then did what she asked. I started with the finger that I'd had in her pussy, then worked on my thumb. I took my time, enjoying the look on Brenda's face as she watched me doing that. That was when I noticed her own hand under her suit bottoms, and saw that she was rubbing her finger furiously all around her clitty by herself. It took her about another three minutes before she was able to orgasm. I really enjoyed watching her face getting red and her hips moving all over the place. She finished, and then she smoothed her suit bottom again and held out her hand. She held it right by my face, so I knew what she wanted me to do. I licked everywhere on her hand, for at least two minutes. When I stopped, I knew I was going to go into the bathroom in the member's locker area and get some relief. We held hands and walked back to the clubhouse. On the way back, Brenda informed me that we were going swimming for another hour, then we'd go hit more tennis balls. I stopped off to use the bathroom, and it didn't take me long. We were in the pool, and Brenda was teaching me how to float. She had one of her hands on my butt, and the other one on my back. We were both laughing because she kept rubbing and pinching my butt. It is hard to float when you're laughing. It was fun though. "Did you do it when you went to the bathroom?" I nodded to her that I had. "I already knew you did. I wondered if you'd admit it or not. Your snake isn't trying to get out anymore, that's how I knew." I had been thinking about something, ever since we'd been back there in the trees, but I didn't know how to ask her. Bea had told me about how it hurts a girl the first time because of this membrane that girls are born with. Brenda wasn't hurt when I put my finger in, and I didn't feel what Bea said I would. "Brenda, are you still a virgin?" "Of course. What a question. Fingers don't count, it only counts if you put your thing in me, your snake." "I knew that already. Its just that Bea told me that virgins have a pain the first time someone puts something in their kitty, and she said there's a skin thing that has to be broken before you can put anything in." "I'm a virgin, Kenny, don't you believe me?" It is a good thing we weren't out in the deep end of the pool, because she took both her hands away from me. It surprised me though, and I swallowed some water when she did that without any warning. I stood up and looked at her because she did that. Brenda looked like she was going to cry when I didn't answer her. It wasn't that I didn't believe her. All I had to go by was what Bea told me. I already knew that Brenda didn't even start dating yet. I was just curious about why what Bea had told me wasn't true for Brenda. Bea never said there were exceptions. She told me how bad it had hurt her the first time. She was only twelve then, so it might hurt worse if you're so young. "If you don't believe me, Kenny, I'm not going to be your girlfriend anymore." I looked at her. I knew we were standing together, in the pool at a nice private country club. I heard what she said to me, and I should have been able to say something to her, something comforting and supportive. Instead of doing that, I was remembering a thousand other times when people had tried to get me to accept what they told me, or face the consequences for not doing so. I knew Brenda didn't have anything to do with that, so it wasn't her that I was responding to. I needed to say something, because my remaining silent was making a bad situation even worse. "I'm sorry, Brenda. I do believe you." I hoped that was enough for her, even if there had been a ten second delay in my response, from the time when she last had spoken. She didn't appear satisfied. "I shouldn't have said anything, what do I know?" "You don't believe me. I can tell." "That isn't true, I do believe you. Why wouldn't I believe you?" "That's what I'm wondering too. I knew I shouldn't have gone into the trees with you today. Now you think I'm like Claudia." "I don't think that. All I did was ask you a simple question, which you answered." "Which you don't believe. I could tell you didn't believe me. If you did, you wouldn't have asked me like that." "Brenda, I said I believed you, and I do. I know what I believe." It was too late. It probably had been too late when I asked that first question. If I knew it was going to turn out this way, I wouldn't have even asked it. It wasn't that important to me. Bea wasn't a virgin. I wish she hadn't ever told me all about how girls hurt the first time you put something in their pussies. Brenda was right. Now, I was going to be wondering about it. I guess that meant I didn't really believe what she had told me. I watched as Brenda made her way out of the pool. She went over and got her towel, and was out the gate before I was even out of the pool. After she left, I realized I had to make another choice. Do I follow after her, trying to talk her into calming down again, or do I let her go, then wait to see what she ends up deciding to do? I didn't like either one of those choices much, but I couldn't think of any other. I decided to stay in the pool area, but I moved my towel over close to the gate, in case Brenda returned and wanted to talk to me. She did return, but it was more than an hour after she left. She was mad too. "I need a ride home, Kenny. Can you call Hans for me?" I got up, and went to get changed. As soon as I was dressed, and I didn't even rinse off, I went and called Hans. When I came out front, Brenda wasn't anywhere around, so I went looking for her. I found her standing in the parking lot. When I went over to her, she turned her back to me. I could take a hint, so I left her alone. When Hans got there, Brenda asked me to stay there and let Hans take her home and come back for me. I told her that I'd sit up front with him, and she could have the whole back seat to herself. That is what I did. When I got home. Mr. and Mrs. Parsons had gone out somewhere, taking Mrs. Parsons car. I was in the kitchen telling Hans and Gerta about what had happened to me, when the phone rang. It was Mrs. Connor wanting to speak with Mrs. Parsons. I heard Gerta telling her that the Parsons had gone out, and weren't expected back until late. She hung up the phone without asking to speak with me. Gerta told me that not having a hymen didn't prove anything. She said there were a lot of things, innocent things that would explain not having one. Hans laughed and said there were a lot of not so innocent things too. They both advised me to wait for Brenda to call me. She was the one who was mad, not me, so they said she should call me. I told Hans that I wanted to watch her play tennis on Sunday, but he said I'd just make her nervous if I did that. Gerta said she'd wait too if it was her in my situation. Gerta made steak and baked potatoes with corn and a salad for dinner. We all ate in the kitchen together. While we were eating, Hans told me about his first girlfriend, back in Germany, when he was about my age. It was a funny story about all the times they fought and broke up and got back together. He made it sound like he had more trouble with his first girlfriend than I had with Brenda. I really enjoyed the story, it made me feel better about my situation. "What happened to her Hans? Why did you finally break up?" "Because, the whole time she's telling me, "Nein Nein", she's saying "Ja Ja" to any American soldier with a few candy bars, or a package of cigarettes. I find this out first, because I follow her one day and watch her. Then, after I am sure, I ask her why them, and not me? You know what she tells me? I remember it like it just happened. "A kilo of meat, three Hershey bars, or a pack of cigarettes." She didn't give no discounts." He and Gerta laughed, but I didn't see what was funny about that. "Kenny, at that time in Germany, everything was so bad. She did what she had to do to survive. She had only her mother, and two younger sisters. Somebody had to put the food on the table. She didn't want to do that with those soldiers, it was all she had to give to get something to trade for food." I still thought, if she was doing it anyway, why not do it with Hans? "She liked you though. Wouldn't she want to do that with you, and not charge you anything for it?" "She didn't WANT to do it with anybody, Kenny. I was too young to understand it then. I thought just like you do. Why not me too? Later, I found out why not me. On the day my mother married her new husband, I had to wait behind with all the other children of all the other new brides. There must have been fifty women there, waiting to be called up to the chapel for the wedding ceremony, one at a time. Fifty women, Kenny, all of them on their wedding day. At least forty were crying while they waited to get married. My mother, she was crying too, with all the rest. That's the day I learned why not." "My mother she cried too, Kenny. It was usually all they could do to make the best future for their families. My mother was lucky, her husband was a good man and they lived a happy life together. Hans mother, she wasn't so lucky." I went up to bed thinking about what Hans and Gerta had told me. Those were all sad stories. I didn't remember my mother or my father. I wondered if my mother had been forced to do something she hadn't wanted to do. Maybe she had been forced to give me to the orphanage. I wished I knew. The next morning, when I came down for breakfast, Mr. and Mrs. Parsons were both sitting in their normal places at the dinner table, at either end, at least fifteen feet apart. I sat in my usual place too, next to Mrs. Parsons. "Did you have an enjoyable day yesterday, Kenny?" Mrs. Parsons smiled at me after first greeting me, and then asking that question. I had said good morning to both of them, wondering why it was rude for me to sit so far away from Mr. Parsons when it was just him and me at the table, but it wasn't rude for either of them to sit that far away when they were all alone. "It was good until Brenda and I got into another fight." "What was it this time?" "Same thing, something I said to her." Mr. Parsons laughed. "Kenny, you need to be more careful with the way you talk to people. I've noticed myself that you speak without regard to how your words might be received. You sometimes need to soften your words to not give offense, especially when no offense is intended. What did you say?" Mr. Parsons looked at me, waiting for me to tell him what I'd said to get Brenda mad. "I asked her if she was a virgin." "You can't be serious? Why would you presume to ask a girl like Brenda such a personal question. I'm surprised she didn't slap your face for you. I'd be surprised if Walt doesn't call me demanding that you be disciplined." "Mrs. Connor called last night for Mrs. Parsons." "Thomas is correct, Kenny. You should never presume to ask such a question. It just isn't done." "I know that now." "Did she answer your question, Kenny?" Mr. Parsons was having some fun at my expense. I saw Mrs. Parsons giving him a look of disapproval. "She said that she was." "Of course she is. That's why it was wrong of you to even ask her. By asking her, you were bringing her character into question. It would never be a suitable question to ask, but this holds doubly true for someone like Brenda. Her family, her youth, and everything else argues in her favor. The question was insulting to her." "That's why she's mad at me. I told her I was sorry, but she's still mad." Mrs. Parsons patted me on my shoulder. "Kenny, it will take you a while to learn all the social niceties, but, until you do, perhaps you might refrain from asking personal questions such as that one?" "Bertie, do you think we should call Walt and Georgia ourselves? If we explain Kenny's lack of experience, and his utter lack of knowledge of what is correct social behavior, perhaps they can explain this to Brenda, in order that she might overlook his unintended slight to her good reputation." "It might be better if we wait for Georgia to call here again. I'll talk with her. I'm sure she'll understand after I've explained some things. Kenny, do you have any questions about what we have decided to do?" "No, ma'am. It sounds good to me. It might help if you punished me so they'd know I've been told I did wrong." "I'm sure that isn't necessary, Kenny. I'll tell them we've spoken to you. I'm sure that will be enough." "Bertie, he has a point. I've known Walt for a long time. He won't like hearing about any of this. You know how he sometimes gets? How about if we send him up to his room for an hour? Kenny, do you have something you could keep busy with in your room with for an hour, perhaps a book?" "Yes sir." I got up to leave, but they both told me to sit down and have breakfast first. We all ate in silence when the food came. When I was finished, I excused myself and went up to my room. It was Sunday, so there weren't any maids to make my bed or anything. I made my bed and then went in and took a nice shower. When I was done, I got dressed again and looked at my watch only fifteen minutes had gone by. Then, my phone rang with the funny ringing noise that meant it was probably Gerta calling me. "Hello?" "Kenny, please come down to the study. Mrs. Parsons and I need to have some words with you." I went downstairs and walked into the study. Mr. Parsons was sitting behind his desk and Mrs. Parsons was standing just behind him and on his left. Mr. Parsons looked angry and Mrs. Parsons looked worried and upset. He motioned me to sit in the same chair I'd sat down on before. "Kenny. I" Before Mrs. Parsons could say anymore, Mr. Parsons stopped her. "Bertie, we agreed that I'd handle this. Kenny, tell me what in the hell you were thinking yesterday. Didn't I tell you that Brenda was a nice girl. From a good family? Didn't I tell you to treat her with respect?" "Yes sir." "And, is that what you've done?" "Yes sir." "Kenny, Georgia told us" "Dammit Bertie, are you going to let me handle this like we've agreed? Kenny, Mrs. Connor tells us a quite different story. A story which indicates, to me at least, that you failed to heed my caution in this particular instance." "I did treat her with respect. I respect her." "Very well. Let's try to approach this from a different direction. Kenny, what does the word, respect, mean to you?" "To honor, to look up to, to hold in high esteem." "Very good. So, now we all know that you do understand the word's meaning. Tell me how respecting Brenda can translate into you sticking your finger up inside her vagina? What the hell were you thinking? Did you think you could hide behind us, and get away with something so disgusting?" "No sir." "I've known both Walt and Georgia for many years, Mrs. Parsons has known Georgia since they were children. He is a valued business associate of ours. We've sponsored you, Kenny. You are our responsibility. What you do reflects on us. Do you understand that? What can we say to Walt and Georgia, or to Brenda for that matter?" "I'm not sure. I'm sorry that I made so much trouble for you. I didn't mean to." "Did you force your attentions on that girl? "No sir. Brenda was my girlfriend." "Are you saying she welcomed these advances?" "I think so. She didn't tell me not to do that." "Did she encourage you? Think before you answer, Kenny, did she offer you any encouragement anywhere along the way?" If I told him the truth, Brenda would get into a lot of trouble. I was already in a lot of trouble no matter what I said to him. "No sir." "This was all your idea, and you did this without her approval or consent?" "Yes sir." "Did she go along with any part of it?" "When we kissed and I hugged her." "Did you attack her, try to rape her?" "No sir. I just did that, and then I stopped." "You can be thankful that you did stop. Go back up to your room. Don't come back out until we send for you. They're on their way over here right now. I don't know what we can say to them that will satisfy anyone. I wish we had the luxury of waiting until after Bunny returns. He would have some ideas on the best way for everyone to proceed. As it stands now, We're pretty much at their mercy, not a comfortable position for us to be placed in." I went back up to my bedroom. I was only there for about fifteen minutes before the phone rang with that funny noise again. "Kenny, please join us in my study." I heard Mr. Connor shouting in the background. It sounded like Brenda was crying too. I got up and went downstairs. When I walked into the study, Mr. Parsons was standing between Mr. Connor and the door where I stood. Mrs. Parsons was sitting in the chair I had sat in and Mrs. Connor was in Mr. Parsons chair, behind the desk. Brenda was sitting next to Mrs. Parsons and she was crying just like she had been earlier when Mr. Parsons called me down there again. Mr. Parsons spoke first. "Kenny, please apologize to Brenda and her parents for your actions yesterday. Nothing any of us do now can undo the harm that you've caused this innocent girl. I'm ashamed to have to claim you as my responsibility, but I've got no other choice than to do so. We've explained to Mr. and Mrs. Connor that we are unable to do as they've requested, which was to send you back to St. Cecelia's immediately. Only Bunny has the necessary authority to direct your change of residence. If it were in my power, I promise you that I'd return you there today." "I'm sorry Brenda. I know I did wrong to touch you like that. I'm sorry to you too Mr. and Mrs. Connor, I should have respected Brenda better." Mr. Connor tried to get around Mr. Parsons, but he held him, keeping him away from me. "Leave us now Kenny. Go to your room. I'll be up to speak with you further about this. It isn't over, you can be sure of that. Go on, get out of our sight." Mrs. Parsons had started crying too now. That hurt me as much as seeing Brenda crying. I turned around and got out of there as quick as I could. I was halfway up the staircase when I heard Brenda calling my name over and over. Her father was shouting something at her, yelling for her to shut up. I turned around and went back down the stairs and over to the study. By the time I got there, Mr. Connor and Mr. Parsons were already punching each other in the face. All three of the females were crying and yelling at them to stop. Mr. Parsons took a step backward and really let Mr. Connor have it, right in his mouth. Mr. Connor fell down after that punch and Mr. Parsons turned around and saw me standing there. "You'll get your ass right up to your room like I told you, Kenny, and stay there until I'm ready to speak with you." He had blood coming from a cut on his lip. He looked mad enough to do anything, so I turned around again, and did what he told me to. I waited in my bedroom for hours, but no one came to get me. It was long past lunch time, and still no one came. At two thirty, I made up my mind to go down to the kitchen if no one came for me by three. At ten after three, I decided to give them until four o'clock, but that was all I'd wait. At three thirty, Hans came up with a food tray from Gerta. He told me to eat everything fast, then put the tray underneath my bed after I finished. There were two big sandwiches and a glass of milk. I ate quickly, then did what Hans told me to. This wasn't the first time I'd done something wrong and had to wait for punishment. Compared to all those other times, this was waiting in luxury. This time though, I felt worse about it than any of those other times. I knew I'd made Brenda cry and feel bad, and Mrs. Parsons too. It was my fault that Mr. Parsons got hit in the mouth and cut his lip. Even Hans and Gerta were made to do something wrong, to go against their employers to sneak me in some food to eat. I appreciated them doing it, but felt bad that they needed to do it. Mr. Parsons came in to speak to me at five thirty. At first, he seemed like he wanted to talk about Mr. Connor, and about their fight. In a minute, he got back to talking about how bad a thing I'd done. He told me that Mrs. Parsons had locked herself in her bedroom and wouldn't talk to him or come out. Brenda and Mrs. Connor had taken Mr. Connor to the hospital, because he said his jaw was hurting him, and Mr. Connor was threatening to sue everybody. All of this, he said, was because of me. "Jesus, Kenny, you can't just go around touching girls down there, not without them giving you permission. I realize it can be pretty tempting, especially if all they have is one of those sexy little bathing suits that they all seem to wear nowadays. I've seen some of those girls out there by the pool, lounging around on a hot summer day. They look like they're ready for anything, right up until someone tries to take them up on it. Brenda though, she's not like that. I've known her all her life. That's one sweet little girl. She has her head screwed on right too, always doing something to improve herself. If you're going to do things like that, you should stick with people like Bea. I'm sure she wouldn't go complaining, not even if you shoved you whole hand up her 'whatziss'. Bea can be very accommodating that way. From what I've heard though, I don't need to be telling you any of this." "Was Brenda all right when she left? Did she ever stop crying?" "She was okay. Nobody ever died from what she's been through, but you still shouldn't have done that. The reason I needed to come up here to see you again was to let you know that Bertie and I are both agreed that you're going to stay here, with us. We had to say that other stuff for the Connors, but no one is sending you back to any damn orphanage. We're thinking of maybe sending you to a private school for awhile though. Maybe for a year, only until everyone gets calmed down again, until they forget about all of this. We'll pick a school close enough for you to come home on weekends and holidays. It won't be that bad, you'll see. As soon as Bunny gets back, we'll have him look into it for us." "You should send me back. I always do stuff like this to get into trouble. I did it all the time at the orphanage. Now I made all of the Connors mad at you and Mrs. Parsons." "That's true, at least for Walt it is. I'll tell you this much, if Walt could screw up our business by refusing to supply us, he probably would do it. He's mad enough to consider doing just that. His problem, and I know wherever he is right now, he's thinking about it, is that I can pick up my phone, and five minutes later, I'll have the same thing he's selling me being delivered on the same schedule by another supplier. I can do this for the same cost, if not as little less, than I'm currently paying him. That being the case, Walt can be mad, but he can't be too mad. If Walt thinks he can sue us over this, he's making a big mistake in thinking that. Right now, you're a ward of the court, and Bunny is your legal representative. If Walt sues anyone, he'd be suing either the State or the County. You don't stay in business for long around here, not if you're doing things like that. Walt can be a little mad, I can tolerate that, but he can't come in here and threaten any of our family. That's what he did today by threatening you. I know Bertie's already told you this, that she has decided you're a part of our family now. I told her I'd go along with her decision, not that she really gave me any other choice." "I didn't ask her to do that for me." I know, that's just Bertie's way. Bunny knew this about her too. He knew, the minute you set foot inside this house, that Bertie would never let you go. Bunny's shrewd that way, he understands people. He told me he was doing it to give Bertie an interest to replace the loss of the company, but most of it was to let me know he was pissed about Bea and me carrying on like we did. That's the way he's always been, ever since I met him. I'm a pretty direct person. If I'm upset with you, I'll let you know in a hurry. Not Bunny though. The first time you find out Bunny's mad at you, is when you look up and find out your whole world has already gone up in flames. "If Bunny is your friend, he'll just give you a few subtle nudges, like he did with me. First, he threatens to kill the merger and give me the sack. This move would immediately cancel and make void all of my earned stock options, which represents one hell of a lot of money to me. After that, he brings you here, followed immediately by him giving me the warning to keep my hands off of Beatrice. Next, and for good measure, he tells me that he's severing our attorney client arrangement, and will represent Bertie in her divorce proceeding. Finally, he takes Beatrice for himself, just to spite me. Just imagine what he would have done if we weren't close friends for nearly thirty years?" "I don't know about those first things, but it was Bea that went after him." "That's why it's so difficult to oppose him, Kenny. He does these things, and then makes everyone else believe it was someone else's decision. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Bunny was the one who told Bertie about my dalliance with Beatrice." "I'm pretty sure that was Gerta." "Why would Gerta do that?" "She doesn't like you, never has, Hans either. They both think you're too mean to Mrs. Parsons." "Kenny, that's preposterous. Don't you think I'd have sensed their animosity after all these years?" "I don't think so. I saw it in only one or two days. Even Mr. Connor doesn't like you. Brenda says he and her mother are really afraid of you." "What about you, Kenny?" "I don't know yet. Sometimes I like you, but sometimes, I like you even less than Gerta and Hans do." "That was just because we got off on the wrong foot. Surely I've more than made amends to you since then?" "It isn't anything you did to me, its how you treat your wife." "I know it seems unlikely to you, Kenny, but Bertie and I usually get along famously. We have our differences, the same as any long married couple does, but our marriage has been remarkably sound until just recently." "You admit you never loved her, but you still think I should believe it's a good marriage?" "Yes, because that's true. A very good marriage." "Suppose I'm right about everything I've told you?" "I might believe some of that, things like Hans and Gerta not liking me, or even about Bertie throwing that golf game, but I'll stand by my claim to having a sound marriage, before Beatrice that is." "Did you really make twenty million dollars when that merger was finished?" "More than that actually. I believe the closing numbers were close to twenty two. How is that relevant?" "It just means that Brenda has been right all along. I am going to be filthy rich." "How does that follow?" "If someone like you, who can't even tell when people don't like them can make that much money, I'm a cinch to make at least as much as you, because I can figure out stuff in a week, that you haven't been able to figure out in almost thirty years." "Can you figure out a way to save my marriage? I'll give you a million dollars if you can." "I already know how, but you won't do it. I told you for free." "If I told her I loved her now, she wouldn't believe it." "No, because it isn't true. You'd really have to mean it." "I've never loved anyone, Kenny, so there it is." "You've loved yourself." Mr. Parsons laughed and shook his head at me. "There is that. I suppose it's a beginning." "All you have to do is find a way to love Mrs. Parsons like you love yourself." "How do you propose I do that?" "By giving her the only thing you love besides yourself." "You can't be suggesting I give her my money? She has ten times as much as I do already, maybe more." "What good is it doing you?" Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 21 It was decided that I needed to keep away from the country club for at least two weeks. Part of this decision was to allow Mr. Chalmers to return before allowing me outside in public again, and part of it was that Mrs. Parsons wanted to try to help Mrs. Connor and Brenda to come to terms with my not being sent away to the orphanage. Mrs. Parsons waited until Wednesday before calling Mrs. Connor. She asked about Brenda, but then said her main reason for calling was to ask Mrs. Connor to join her for a round of golf and a late lunch on the following day. I was sitting in the living room, right next to Mrs. Parsons when she made the phone call. At first, it seemed that Mrs. Connor was saying she couldn't make it, but Mrs. Parsons kept her talking until she finally agreed to come play and eat with her. Mrs. Parsons could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. When she got off the phone, she turned and gave me one of her big hugs, telling me that she felt like everything was going to work out. On Thursday, while her mother and Mrs. Parsons were playing golf, Brenda phoned me at home. She had to be careful speaking to me she said because Richard was at home too, and she didn't want him to know that she was calling me. "Kenny, I'm so sorry for how everything turned out for you. I was so afraid you were going to tell my dad that it was my idea as much as yours. That would have really fixed things for me if you had. I didn't mean for him to find out anything, but I was so upset when I got home that I couldn't stop crying. My mother started asking me a lot of questions, and I wasn't thinking about what I was saying. I didn't know my dad was behind us listening, until it was too late. Are they really sending you away?" "We have to wait for Mr. Chalmers to get back before anybody finds out. I might go to a boarding school instead though. What did you tell them we did?" "I told my mother about what you said, about me not being a virgin. She asked me how that topic came up. I tried not to tell her, but she tricked it out of me, and I told her that you put your finger in me. That's when my dad started yelling and threatening to do terrible things to you. Before that, I didn't even know he was at home. It wasn't just you he was yelling things at either. He slapped Richard in the face three times, telling him he should have been there to protect me from you. He pushed my mother when she tried to make him calm down and stop hitting Richard. He said I was as big a slut as Claudia. He told me that if he found out that I had any part in leading you on, he was going to spank me until I couldn't stand up anymore. I never saw him so mad. He hit Mr. Parsons for no reason at your house. I think he was going after you when he did it." "He must have forgotten that Mr. Parsons boxed in college. I saw him when he knocked your father down, but I didn't see your father when he punched Mr. Parsons. I saw his cut lip, and the blood though. I knew something was going to happen to us, Brenda. That's how it always is with me. I can't seem to not ruin things whenever something good comes along." "I didn't get to play in the mixed with Ron either. I tried to call him, but he'd left already. I called the club later, and he had to withdraw. The Edgar's won again. My father won't let me even go to the club anymore, not unless he and my mother are with me. He says I've proved that I can't look out for myself. He told my mother they should just sell their membership and take up a different hobby, like fishing or camping or something. He's worried that Mr. Parsons is going to stop buying from him too. Is he?" "I don't think so. He did tell me that he could get another supplier with five minutes of phone calls, but he was talking about if your father tried to hurt Mr. Parsons company by not delivering his order. He isn't going to do that is he?" "Not hardly. He's trying to figure out some way to get back on Mr. Parsons good side again. I told you how afraid he gets about losing your family as a customer." "It isn't the family's business anymore, because they sold it with the merger. Mr. Parsons just works there, except he's on vacation this week. I can't go to the club anymore either. No more golf lessons, or using the pool or the tennis courts. No more seeing you at all." "Kenny I'm sorry that I got us both in trouble like this. If I knew this was going to happen, I'd have just told you the truth in the first place. It wouldn't have been as bad as this is." "What do you mean?" "About what you asked me. About it not hurting if that was my first time. When I was thirteen, Claudia and I both did something with our hairbrushes, the handles. Her handle fit up inside her, but mine hurt when I tried to push it in. She told me it felt a lot better up inside, and she showed me how to push it in me. After, it hurt a lot, and I bled on my hairbrush, and inside my panties too. I was mad at Claudia when she had me do that. She knew what would happen, and she wanted me to be like she was. That's why it didn't hurt when you did that." "Was that when you stopped being friends with her?" "No, that was later. She was supposed to come to our house to spend the day with me, but she spent the whole time in Richard's room, with Richard and Darryl. She knew if my mother came home early that we'd all get into trouble, but she did it anyway. That's when I stopped being good friends with her. We still say hi when we run into each other, and I've been talking to her on the phones sometimes, if she calls me, or if I need to ask her about something. We're just not good friends now." "I wish you had told me about that hairbrush, Brenda." "I do too now, but when you asked me that, I guess I got flustered. Plus, it's embarrassing, telling someone that I did that. It sounds pretty common to be doing that. I don't do it anymore." "How come? Doesn't it feel good?" "I guess it does. I do it sometimes, but only if I'm sure I'm all alone. With your fingers, you can just pull them away, and no one would know, but with a hairbrush, it could get stuck or something. I'd die if my mother walked into my room sometime when I was doing that." "I don't see how it could get stuck. how big is it?" "Not stuck, but if she came in at just the wrong time, like if I was just finishing? I might not be able to stop before she noticed what I was doing." "That wouldn't be good." "Now that I told you, are you mad at me?" "No, I'm not mad. If you told me at the pool, I'd have been glad that it wasn't going to be me that had to hurt you the first time. It would be different if it was another boy who did that to you. I can't be too jealous of a hairbrush." We both laughed at that. "I told my mother part of what really happened, the next day when we were both home alone. I told her it was me that let you do that. I didn't tell her about me seeing your snake though. You know what she told me?" "No, what?" "That she had been curious about seeing one too, back when she was a girl around my age. She said she got a boy to show her too... I asked her to tell me who, but she said it was a long time ago and it didn't matter now who it had been. I wonder if it was that Mr. Chalmers. I hope it wasn't." "Mr. Parsons told me he got twenty two million dollars for his part of the company. Guess what else? He said Mrs. Parsons had ten times as much money as he does. That's two hundred and twenty million dollars. I think Mr. Chalmers must have as much or even more than Mrs. Parsons does, because he works too." "God. I knew they were rich, but not like that. Where did it all come from?" "I don't know. I think they always had it. Mr. Chalmers told me that he and his sister were both born rich. They're pretty old now, so I guess their money just kept growing. I told Mr. Parsons that he should give all his money to his wife, but he thinks I'm crazy." "I do too. Why should he give her his money, especially if she already has so much?" "I don't know. It was an idea I had. He could show her she's more important to him than his money is." "Would you do that for me, Kenny? Give me your money to show me that?" "You mean what I have now, or if I had twenty two million?" "Twenty two million. What do you have now, fifty dollars?" "About that, maybe a little bit more. It's the most I've ever had, and I'd give that to you if you asked me to. Twenty two million? I don't think so, but only because I'd prove that I loved you in other ways." "I'd rather have the money. If you gave me the twenty two million, I'd split it with you." "I'd rather have someone who loved me without me giving her my money." "You don't have any money." "That's what I've been telling you. I'm glad you finally believe me." "But, you will have it someday, and you have everything right now, just like you were rich already." "It's too late now, because they'll never let us see each other again anyway. Guess what else? Mr. Parsons offered to give me a million dollars if I can do something for him." "A real million dollars?" "I don't think he meant counterfeit, of course a real million." "Are you going to do it?" "I will if I can, but I won't take his money for that." "You'd turn down a million dollars?" "I don't need it. Didn't you already tell me a hundred times at least that I was rich already?" "If we were married, Kenny, I'd make you take the money. We'd need it all for the nice house, and all the other things I'd want us to have." "Brenda, if we were married, there'd be other things I'd want for us besides a nice house. If we were married, I'd have Mrs. Parsons let me move to the big guest room that Mr. Chalmers only uses once in awhile. My room now is pretty big, but that room is at least twice as big, and it has a balcony with a big sliding door. You can go out there and you can see everything from there. I bet I could see your house from out on that balcony." "My mother would probably let me marry you if you had a million dollars. She cares about money more than I do. Maybe not more, but as much." "Did she care about it when she was young like you and her father had a lot of it?" "I don't know. Maybe not, because she says that people with a lot of it, they don't need to think about it, or worry about what things cost. That's what I want too, not to ever have to worry about money." I think your mother is wrong. Rich people worry too. They pay people to make sure they don't get cheated. Mr. Parsons worries too. He worries about everything, plus he works all the time. He's on vacation right now, but he's in his study, working on something. Hans and Gerta live better lives than he does. Having money is just something else to worry about." We talked for a little while longer before Brenda whispered that she had to hang up. I was glad she'd called me. The only thing wrong with talking to her, was that it made me miss her more than I had been. Talking to her gave me some hope. Mrs. Parsons was trying to fix things too. It was about twelve o'clock, and I was bored. I wished that I had my golf clubs, then I could go out in the back and hit some chips and pitches at least. It was still almost a week before Mr. Chalmers came back. I went to Mr. Parsons study and knocked on his door. "Come." "Sorry to disturb you. Is there someone I can call at the club to see if they can put my golf clubs in the trunk of Mrs. Parsons car when she gets done playing today?" "Probably. Why don't you ask Hans to drive out and pick them up for you? If you can wait for a few minutes, I'll drive you out there myself. I'm almost finished with the new forecasts anyway." "How come you work on vacation?" "I wasn't working. I was reading. Bertie always tells me the same thing. I don't like novels or any of the drivel on the television. It is relaxing to me to read over reports and projections. I lets me keep my finger on the pulse of the business too. It isn't work. This is passive. Work is an activity." "To me it looks like you're working. Today's Thursday. You have been in here everyday since you came home. You call it a study, but it's like your office when you are here. Don't you ever like to do something different?" "Kenny, everyday it's different, new challenges, new opportunities. It is competition, and the stakes are so high at the level we're playing at. The past five months were exhilarating, from beginning to end. I was disappointed to have the merger over with, resigned to having it all slow back down to the former pace. Less than a week later, I get a phone call from New York, wanting to know whether my division would be able to absorb a new acquisition. We are a national presence now, not just a regional player. I feel like I've finally made it to the big leagues. I'm going to need to adjust my sights upward for the future." "So, you just like doing that? The same as your wife and I like golf?" Mr. Parsons smiled, tapping his fingers on the report he'd been reading, like he was remembering some music that he'd once danced to or played. "It's more than just like. This is the closest I'll ever come to creating something great, something unique and lasting. Others create the pieces for me, but I make them all work together, as well as they can. I am like a musical conductor. Bringing it all together to make a beautiful sound. In my case, the sound is a busy cash register ringing up profits for all of us. The recent merger takes me out of an orchestra pit, and puts me in with the philharmonic." "So, it isn't just the money you make, or because it is the family business?" "I'm not that crass, Kenny. I enjoy the money and all the perks. Why shouldn't I? I work hard for them. Take that all away, and I'd enjoy it just as much if I worked for room and board alone." "Your wife doesn't get the same pleasure from your working. What about her?" "We live independent lives, Bertie and I. Have done it like that, right from the beginning. We share occasions, not whole lives. She has to have her own interests, the same as I have mine. I enjoy her company, but on occasions, not as a daily diet. I believe she shares this sentiment as well. Were we both constantly in contact, it is doubtful that either of our lives would have been successful." "You think her life has been successful?" "No. Mine has been though. She could have done more with her own as well, if she had just been as determined as I was. Success isn't just handed out to anyone with a vague notion about wanting it. No, it requires hard work, sacrifice, a willingness to persevere, even when nothing turns out the way you had hoped or expected it would." "What have you shared with her? I see all that she shared with you. What did you do to deserve all of it?" "Kenny, you sound like Bertie and Bunny. You might as well have spoken in their voices. It is a fair question, and one I've answered many times over the years. What have I shared? For starters, my entire adulthood. Bertie played golf and lay down, sprawled in her closet. I worked, while she enjoyed being there in that closet, all of her covered with a blanket, cowering against her imaginary demons. Bunny got to go off and pursue his own ambitions. Because I was there, he did this without incurring the justifiable wrath of his father. I spent fifteen years with Bunny and Bertie's father, always at his side, doing whatever he told me to. I must have heard a thousand times that he could have done the job better. I carried out every task he ever assigned to me. If you think I work hard now, you should have been here when Senior Chalmers still lived. I took Bunny's place in the business, doing the work he didn't care to do. I did it well too. When I took over the company, Bertie, Bunny and I had a meeting right in this office. We'd buried Senior, and immediately, there was an offer from a solid buyer, willing to step right in and buy everything for seven million dollars. I'd worked for fifteen years, and they were going to sell it all right out from under me. It wasn't even going to represent a meaningful portion of their total net worth, but they were both afraid that, with Senior no longer at the helm, the business would founder. "Now, after another ten and a half years have passed, I start to hear all about their sentimental attachment to their father's memory. I assure you though, at the time of Senior's funeral, my voice was the only one raised in favor of rejecting that offer. Even then, I told them the company was worth ten million if we just broke it up and sold off the individual pieces. The land alone was worth five million, and that was a conservative estimate. To convince them, I deferred my compensation, agreeing to work for expenses and one dollar per year, in return for each of them tendering me one per cent of their current ownership interest in each year where their annual ROI exceeded ten per cent. This means that the company had to generate profits that were at least equal to ten per cent of what the company had been worth at the start of that year. I did this every year, never once did I come close to missing that target. Instead of being thrilled, as the business grew and prospered, they wanted to renegotiate our agreement. Two per cent of a seven million dollar company is nothing, not when that is later compared to two per cent of a hundred million dollar company. Also, they knew that their equity base as a total percentage was eroding. The value of their holdings was increasing nicely, but now each owned only forty per cent instead of the fifty they both had started with. Somehow, this bothered them both. "Well, it bothering them began to bother me, hence the merger. I have a different compensation package now, one that doesn't include an equity incentive. On the other hand, Their seven million dollar investment grew to eighty million. That is what I shared with them, Kenny. I had the ability to guide the company along, to maximize its potential each step of the way. They didn't need the money, but they knew I needed the job. They exploited that, and I exploited the opportunity. Each gave something of worth to the other. All of us benefited from that arrangement. I hope we shall continue to do so. Speaking for myself, I am content to maintain the status quo." "It has always just been a business deal to you? It wasn't a marriage, just a convenient arrangement?" "All good marriages are convenient arrangements. Ours lacks qualities that some would deem necessary, but it has worked well for us. You being here, which I admit I was strongly opposed to, right from the beginning, adds even more to the arrangement. Senior was wrong, as was I, as was Bunny. Bertie needs another outlet for her energies. You are that outlet. You are becoming a very valuable commodity to all three of us, Kenny. I like you. Bertie dotes on you like I've never seen her do with anyone else. Bunny too seems to have strong feelings that are somehow tied to you and your future welfare. I'm not sure if you've heard the current rumor traveling in our social circle. It seems that people are divided in wondering if you are Bunny's bastard or my own. Since our vasectomy's both took place long before you were ever conceived, I can tell you that the rumor is total nonsense. It amuses me, as I'm sure it does Bunny. Two childless men thought to have fathered the same child." "I've heard that rumor. Brenda's father thinks I'm Mr. Chalmers son." "Walt seems to be filled with these rumors doesn't he? What do you suppose Bertie is up to going out to golf and have lunch with Georgia. I know her, and she seldom goes to so much trouble just to be sociable. Has she shared with you her intentions?" "I think she wanted to play golf and I couldn't go with her. I'm surprised she didn't ask you since you're home on vacation." "Had she done so, I would have been happy to play with her. Perhaps this was the reason why she didn't ask. I wonder what she plans on asking Georgia for? She can't be attempting to win you forgiveness, not so soon after that incident. No, it must be something else. I should phone Walt too. I could take him out for a drink and allow him the chance to grovel and beg my pardon." "He would too. Brenda says he's really worried about what you're going to do." I knew I'd said too much. Mr. Parsons was sharp about a lot of things. "Kenny, Kenny, Kenny, you become more of an entertainment all the time. You've talked with Brenda then? Since she left here last? Tell me." "She called. We talked. I told her I was very sorry again." "She called. I find that very telling. Tell me about the call. How did it begin?" She said hello, and I said hello. She told me how mad her parents were, especially her father. I think she called trying to find out what Mrs. Parsons was going to say to her mom." "Go on." "We talked. I told her about how maybe I'll be going off to school when Mr. Chalmers comes back. She told me her father won't let her go to the country club anymore, not unless her parents are with her. I told her that I wasn't allowed to go either." "What aren't you telling me, Kenny. What is it that you're hiding, and don't want me to find out about?" "Nothing. We just talked. I already told you what we talked about." "I'm to believe that you drag this girl off to some wooded area and attack her, molesting her with a heedless disregard to her agonized vocal protests, and then, less than a week later, she calls you and wants to just shoot the breeze. Is that what you expect me to believe?" "That's what happened." "In my experience, something like that would never happen. Try again, Kenny. This time, I want the truth from you." "She said her father slapped her brother, and that he pushed her mother too. He was really mad." "If you force me to do it, Kenny, I'll pick up the phone and call Walt. He'll get the whole truth out of Brenda. I started having my own suspicions when she started carrying on right before Walt snapped. Her calling out your name is what spooked him, making him lash out at me like he did." I looked right at him. His saying this to me reminded me of the way that Mother Superior said things, trying to get the kids to confess. She only did that when she didn't have enough evidence already. That was how she tricked the kids into confessing stuff. He was going to keep doing whatever he thought he needed to do to get me to tell him. He figured that I might be able to tell him some reason why Brenda wasn't mad at me. He already hoped it was because I hadn't really taken advantage of her, not like everyone else now thought I had. If I told him that, then he'd find some way to gain some advantage for himself from it. For him, it was just part of how you played the game. I had listened to how he explained everything that had happened from the way he remembered it. I was sure he believed all of it was just how it happened. I had heard Mrs. Parsons story about the same thing, and it was different, a lot different from his version. "Call him. I already told you what we talked about. He'll hit Brenda though, just because you didn't believe me." "He might. I hadn't thought of that. I wish you trusted me more, Kenny. I'm trying to be on your side right now." "It's pretty hard to trust somebody who thinks the way you do. How much has everything you've ever done improved the way any of the Chalmers live? They already lived this way. How much did they improve the way you live? It looks to me like you just decided that they think about things the same way you do. I don't think they do. When they talk about you, it's always to say how good a job you've done, or how they couldn't have managed without your skills to run the company. Mrs. Parsons told me that she knew you were special the first time Mr. Chalmers brought you home with him from college. She told me how close you and her father were. The one thing all three of you agree on is that they got the best of your agreement. Mr. Chalmers told me that you've been rich for almost thirty years, and you just never realized it. He was worried that you'd be disappointed when you found out your money wouldn't change anything." "It did change things. It made me independent for the first time. I can call my own shots now." "Is that why she's divorcing you? Because she's afraid that you're independent? She told me that now you didn't need her anymore. She thinks you have what you came here for." "She's right, I do. That doesn't mean I want to leave, or that I don't wish to remain married." "If you're right, now that you've sold the company, you don't have anything left to share with them. You aren't making them any money when you run the company now. What can you offer them now?" "What can I offer?" "Yourself I guess. Won't you be the one surprised if that's all they ever wanted?" "Where do you come up with all these strange ideas, Kenny?" "From the sisters at the orphanage. They kept talking to me this way." "Did it work? Were they right?" "I don't know, I never tried any of it to see if it would." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 22 Mr. Parsons liked to drive fast. We were in his car, on our way out to the country club to get my clubs. I told him that I wanted to keep practicing so I wouldn't get too rusty. When we pulled up in front, he went in, telling me to stay in the car. Five minutes later, he came out with one of the employees who was carrying two sets of clubs. Mr. Parsons opened his trunk and the attendant put the clubs in there. I saw Mr. Parsons giving him some money, but I didn't know what denomination the bill was. We drove back home and Mr. Parsons opened the trunk and took out his bag, letting me reach in and grab my own. We went around to the side of the house, close to the back, and Mr. Parsons leaned his clubs up against the shed where Hans kept all of his gardening tools and the big lawnmower. "Kenny go ask Hans to come out here please." I walked inside and asked Gerta where Hans was. She walked over and pushed the button for the buzzer in their bedroom. A few minutes later, Hans walked into the kitchen. He looked like he'd just woken up. I told him that Mr. Parsons was by the gardening shed and had asked me to come get him. As soon as he heard this, Hans walked out to find out what Mr. Parsons wanted. "Hans, do you remember when you made that practice area for Bertie? Could you take the mower and make something like that for Kenny and I to use as a target? Something round, and about forty feet in diameter. Cut it short like you used to do when Bertie practiced back here." We went back inside, while Hans got out the mower. Gerta asked us if we'd eaten when we were out, and Mr. Parsons said that we hadn't. Gerta went over to the refrigerator and got out a large bowl of egg salad, and a head of lettuce. She put them on the kitchen table and then turned back to get the bread, two plates, a large spoon, a regular knife, and a butter knife. In only a couple minutes Mr. Parsons and I were eating egg salad sandwiches, both of us sitting at the table in the kitchen. We ate, hearing the sound of the mower out in the back yard as we did so. The sandwiches were good, and I ate three of them. Mr. Parsons only had two. When we got done eating, we went out into the back yard and took a look at the area where Hans had mowed. The grass there was cut to about a quarter of an inch. You couldn't putt on it, but you could sure use it as a target to shoot at. After thanking Hans, we went and retrieved our bags, then set up five different areas to shoot from. The shortest was about forty yards, and the longest was about ninety yards. We each got out ten balls to hit with. Mr. Parsons used Golden Ram's, while I used mixed brands of balls, whatever I had in my bag. We played for a quarter a shot, closest to the stake that Mr. Parsons had pushed into the ground in the center of the cleared area. The way we decided it was that it would be my best shot against his best shot. We'd see who won, and then, after we picked up both those balls, we'd do the same for our next closest two. When we had played before, Mr. Parsons had out driven me, but his weakness, in the beginning, had been his putter. I had been taking a lot of lessons, and my chipping and pitching were much improved. With the regular lawn grass as high as the rough at the country club, I decided I'd try to pitch everything rather than attempt to chip or punch the ball. After an hour, I had lost seven dollars to him. We decided to change the game to make it more even. He still let me hit two balls from each position, but he hit only one from each himself. By the end of another hour, I had gotten my losses down to two dollars and fifty cents because of this handicap he'd given me. I proposed the next change, hitting right at the stake from different positions inside the area that Hans had mowed. this shot was one that Dave and I had worked on a lot, the bump and run. I was confident I could do well in this competition. Half an hour later, I was back to owing him seven dollars again. We stored our clubs away in the garage, and went inside. I gave Mr. Parsons a ten dollar bill, and he went upstairs to find me the change. I didn't mind losing the money to him, he was the one who gave it to me in the first place. I didn't like the actual losing to him though, especially when we had played the game I'd selected for us to play. I figured I could practice though and then win the money back the next time we played. Mrs. Parsons came home around five o'clock, and it was pretty obvious that she had been drinking a lot. I wondered if she had been feeling bad and needed to drink to help it go away, but when she started talking to us, she seemed in a real good mood, not sad or depressed at all. She told us that she had needed to help Mrs. Connor into her house when she drove her home. For some reason she really thought that was funny. I'd never seen Mrs. Parsons acting like that, laughing and kidding around with Mr. Parsons and me. "Kenny, you'll never guess what Mrs. Connor told me today. About you and Brenda." I waited for her to go on, but she didn't. "Thomas, please make me a cocktail before dinner, something tall and cool, perhaps a Tom Collins would be nice." "Bertie, don't you think you've already had enough?" "Not too sweet. No cherry juice." "Bertie." "Do you want me to get Hans or Gerta to make it for me? I'm having a very good time today, Thomas. I'm in an excellent mood. Please don't spoil it." Mr. Parsons went over to the bar and made both of them a drink. "Kenny, would you like me to make you a drink as well?" I thought he was joking with me, but I played along with it. "Sure, I'll have what Mrs. Parsons is having, but I like mine sweet." In a few minute, he came back carrying three tall glasses. He handed one to each of us, keeping the one that was a golden color for himself. My drink looked pinker than Mrs. Parsons, I guess because I'd asked for it to be sweet. It tasted good, a little bitter like from lemon juice. Mrs. Parsons was the first to finish her drink, holding up her glass and asking for another one. This time, Mr. Parsons didn't try to talk her out of it. Instead, he drank his whole glass down first, and then went back to the bar again, making two new drinks. It became a contest between them to see who could drink theirs down the fastest. When Gerta came in to announce dinner was ready, both of them were on either their sixth or seventh drink. Some of the things they were saying were very funny to them, because they both were laughing, but it didn't seem funny to me. Mrs. Parsons and I sat in our usual places, but Mr. Parsons decided to sit across the table from me. Mr. Parsons told Gerta to bring us a bottle of wine with dinner. We were having thinly sliced pieces of beef, in a rich gravy sauce. Gerta came back with a bottle of red wine and two glasses. She looked worried about Mrs. Parsons drinking, but she didn't say anything. When he had filled their wine glasses, Mrs. Parsons took a small sip and smiled. "Good food, good wine, good company, and good news. This is turning out to be a good day, don't you think so, Kenny?" "Yes ma'am. What did you shoot today?" "Oh, I played poorly. I think it was either five or six over par, but we both enjoyed being out of the house, enjoying a full day of relaxation. Georgia was telling me how hard it's been for her this past week, Thomas. You really must do something to soothe Walt's feathers. Georgia says that he's been on a rampage ever since he first heard about Kenny and Brenda. She kept telling me how worried she was that his behavior towards you would spill over into your business relationship. I told her that she needn't worry. Isn't that right Thomas? You wouldn't do anything that might hurt Georgia or the children, would you?" "Bertie, I told you at the time this first came up, that it wasn't anything like what you were suspecting. There has never been anything to those suspicions you entertained." "Like Bea? Is she another case of my groundless suspicions too." "Do we really need to discuss this in front of Kenny?" "You don't think Kenny already knows? Everybody else knows about it, why shouldn't he." "How does it help anything for us to dwell on it? I'm sorry. It was a moment of weakness, of stupidity on my part. I shouldn't have allowed it to happen, it won't ever happen again." "I might believe you Thomas, if you would just be honest and admit your little fling with Georgia. I can't see why you keep denying it. Do you expect me to believe you'd sleep with Bea, here, in our own home, but you somehow managed to resist all of Georgia's attempts at seduction? Please. Why can't you be honest at least?" "Bertie, that's quite enough! I'm not going to keep denying it, only to have you contradicting what I've said. I've told you before that I've no interest in that woman, none. If anyone is interested, besides Walt, it would be Bunny. Sometimes I think you want it to be true." "Do you know what it's like for me, being surrounded by these paramours of yours? You're right though, it is quite enough. Tonight I'm celebrating. It's a night to rejoice, not go over any past mistakes. Kenny, you never answered me when I asked if you could guess what Mrs. Connor told me today. We were having lunch after we finished playing. Georgia ordered the flounder, you know the one Thomas, you order it quite often when we dine at the club. With that heavy sauce, it looked divine, but she only picked at it. Perhaps that third drink she gulped down, even before our meals arrived, had spoiled her appetite for her food. It was while she was toying with the fish that she shared with me some information that Brenda had admitted to her. Kenny, tell Mr. Parsons and me again how you managed to invade Brenda's person over her protests." "I already told you." "Yes, and you lied to us when you did so. I don't condone what you did with Brenda, that wasn't appropriate behavior, not by any stretch. Letting Thomas and I believe that you had done this, without her consent or assistance, when such wasn't the case, that was far worse. It was worse because of the amount of pain it caused to me and to Mr. Parsons. I'm sure you thought you were being noble, trying to protect her reputation. Had you been honest with us, we might have found a way to keep you out of this serious trouble, while still protecting Brenda's reputation. As it stands now, you appear guilty in the eyes of our small community. With your own lips, you've accused yourself of something particularly evil. Now, we're going to have to go out and establish your innocence." "God Damn it! I knew it. She was in on it with you. I knew it, and then you talked me out of knowing it. Kenny, you should have been honest with us." Mr. Parsons pounded his hand down so hard on the table that the plates and glasses moved from the force of it. "Brenda told me that she told her mother that, but it was her trying to keep me from being sent away. It happened just like I told you." "Brenda called here today, Bertie, when you were out with Georgia. I questioned Kenny at the time, but he said she just wanted to know what you were saying to her mother." "Georgia questioned Brenda very carefully, Kenny. She assured me that Brenda's explanation sounded true to her. Are you worried about Walt finding out the truth, and then punishing her in some way? Don't be. Georgia wants nothing more than to repair this breach between our two families. She won't even need to tell Walt. What she will do is make him aware that his keeping Brenda away from you might prove to be financially detrimental to all of them. She is going to play on his greatest fear in order to set to rights this entire misunderstanding. I won't have you punished, or your good name ruined, for doing something that almost anyone else in your situation would have done. Seeing you and Brenda together again, the community at the club will understand that the whole incident was consensual from beginning to end." "What did you promise to get her to agree to that?" Mr. Parsons looked angry. It was obvious to me that her plan was upsetting him. "Don't try to use the company as some kind of bargaining chip, I won't tolerate you doing that." "Really? You won't tolerate it? Are you going to choose Walt's interests over mine then? Because, if you do that, I won't tolerate that. Making an enemy of Walt, if necessary, should certainly be preferable to making yourself an enemy of mine? I will not have Kenny put through this. " "Bertie, no one has to be enemies. Given time, Walt will come around. Don't be impetuous. If Georgia knows that Kenny didn't behave criminally with Brenda, it will all sort itself out eventually." "It's all sorted out now, Thomas. Georgia will take care of getting Walt to understand how important Kenny's happiness is to all of us. It is isn't it?" "Of course it is, but you don't threaten to ruin a man, or throw him into bankruptcy, just because you want his daughter made available for Kenny." "Kenny cares about Brenda, that should be obvious because of what he was willing to try to do on her behalf. From what Brenda told Georgia, she reciprocates his affection. It isn't right they should be forced apart over what basically amounts to an unfortunate misunderstanding. I am not procuring her for him in any event. I'm just undoing a wrong done to Kenny." "The fact remains that he diddled the man's daughter, a girl that's only fourteen years old." "Yes, that fact does remain. Kenny, you must promise to refrain from committing further breaches of that nature. You're both far too young to be involved in that type of behavior. This isn't Bea, this is a nice girl. You can't go around expecting to have your way with her like you would with a common trollop, such as Bea. Isn't that correct, Thomas?" Mr. Parsons took a long swig from his wine glass before standing up and excusing himself from the table. After he had gone back into his study, closing his door, Mrs. Parsons immediately became quieter, more subdued. It was as if she had just had enough energy to keep up her forceful attitude while Mr. Parsons was there with us. When she stood up, I stood up as well. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, and wished me pleasant dreams. She walked away to the staircase, climbing the stairs slowly, holding on to the guard rail for support. I watched her disappear around the corner at the top of the staircase, before walking over to Mr. Parsons study, and knocking softly on his door. "Who is it?" "It's me." "Come." "She went upstairs. Is she all right?" "She's fine. That's all just a game we play. I make her drinks the same way I made yours, Collins mixer, ice and just a splash of something on top to disguise the fact that there's no real booze in it." "Why does she pretend to be drunk if she isn't?" "Plausible deniability. Tomorrow, if you ask her, she'll swear she never said most of that. She only meant a little bit of that in any case. She was telling me not to interfere in whatever she's planning." "Will you?" "I doubt it. She's right after all. Walt Connor, if he chooses to make a fight of it with Bertie, will do it without any assistance from me. Of course, before it ever comes to that, Bunny will be back to help her get whatever it is she really wants. I know you persist in seeing Bertie as a victim, and, perhaps, in some ways, she is. She wasn't a victim tonight though, was she? When she makes up her mind that she wants something, few can stand in her way for long. Bunny is just the same, except he doesn't need to spend a quarter of his life, hiding all covered up somewhere in a closet. When either or both are on your side, it is comforting. Senior Chalmers was a greater force than both of them put together. There was a man you didn't want mad at you." "Are you mad at me about Brenda? For me not telling you the truth when you asked me about it?" "Not mad, perhaps disappointed that you decided to keep it from me. I might have done the same, not that I'd have gotten into your position in the first place. I admire that you stood fast by your first decision, although I don't understand why you felt the need to cover for her in the first place. She was the one who went running to her parents. If you were going to admit the act, you should have told us why you chose to commit it. Armed with the truth, we could have defused this right from the very beginning." "I didn't want to get Brenda in any more trouble." "You'll soon learn, Kenny. Even the nice girls, like Brenda, can usually slide through trouble without any perceptible damage to themselves. When involved with either a girl or a woman, always look first to your own welfare. Did Beatrice ever discuss her partner's fate, the one she was arrested with in Bolling?" "She said he was sent to prison." "That is correct. While he rots in prison, where is Beatrice?" "In Hawaii?" Again correct. Tell me, of the two, which one needed to be careful?" "The man?" "I'm not saying that Brenda would ever stoop to Beatrice's tactic's, but, within reason, she would scamper around looking for a way to escape any real consequences for her actions. Soon, maybe not right away, but soon, Brenda will find a way to escape her father's ire. In this instance, it will be with the willing connivance of her mother and Bertie. The decent thing to do would be to call Walt and warn him." "Will you do that?" "You heard what Bertie said to me. In my place, would you call to warn him?" I remembered the way Mrs. Parsons had spoken to him about taking sides against her. I knew I wouldn't have warned Mr. Connor, but that was because I wanted what the ladies wanted. Mr. Parsons didn't want what the rest of us wanted. I didn't think he'd call, but for different reasons. I knew he wanted me to tell him that I wouldn't call to warn him either. "No, I wouldn't call him. Even if you did, it wouldn't change how it's going to turn out." "Tomorrow, let's go out to the club and play some golf. We'll invite Bertie to join us. I might beat her again, because she'll be pretending to be hung over." The next morning we loaded up both sets of golf clubs and drove back to the country club. Mrs. Parsons shot thirty four on the front nine and thirty five on the back nine for a sixty nine. Mr. Parsons shot an eighty three. Instead of eating in the clubhouse, we all drove over to Bolling and went to a Swedish Smorgasbord. Mrs. Parsons was in a good mood again, and I noticed that she kept bumping into Mr. Parsons when we went through the serving line. When we got home, they both went into their suite and stayed in there until it was time for dinner. At dinner, when Mr. Parsons came down, he sat across from me again. I saw them touching their hands together when they reached across for the salt or pepper. It didn't surprise me that they both went to their suite again after dinner. I went in the kitchen, and Gerta was talking to herself in German again. She didn't sound too happy. I knew she didn't like Mr. Parsons, but I knew Mrs. Parsons liked Mr. Parsons, at least she did right then. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 23 On Monday, after Mr. Parsons went to work, Mrs. Parsons told me to get ready for my golf lesson. It hadn't been two weeks, but I didn't argue with her. We took the limousine, and Hans drove straight to Brenda's house. When we pulled up outside, Mrs. Connor, Brenda, and Richard all came out together. I got out and opened the door for them. Since Richard was carrying his mother's golf bag, I didn't offer to help. Even Hans stayed in the driver's seat, and just pushed the remote button to open up the trunk. After the clubs were put away, everyone got in the back together. Even with the five of us sitting back there, it wasn't crowded. I noticed that Richard was looking at me like he wanted to beat me up. Mrs. Connor spoke first. "Bertie, Walt and I are so pleased that you got Richard's suspension lifted. Isn't that right, Richard?" "Yes. Thank you for helping us with that Mrs. Parsons." Richard didn't sound very sincere. It sounded rehearsed and grudging when he spoke the words. He didn't even bother looking up when he talked to her. I had never liked Richard, but, watching him sitting there, I liked him less. It didn't surprise me that Mrs. Parsons could make a few phone calls and get Richard's suspension overturned. It surprised me that she would bother to do it herself. She probably would use Mr. Chalmers for things like that usually. He was still in Hawaii though. "You're welcome Richard. I hope your parents explained to you that the suspension was waived on the condition that your behavior be exemplary from now on?" "I told him Bertie, and Walt explained the consequences to him if he gets in any more trouble at all. No football. I don't think you need worry about him not being good." "Excellent. It's so good to see you again, Brenda. You look lovely today. Don't you think so, Kenny?" So far Brenda and I hadn't said anything to each other. The first I even knew they were coming with us to the club was when Hans turned off the road to the club to stop and pick them up. I'd been staring at Brenda since she came into sight though. She hadn't said anything either, but we were both looking at each other. I tried not to grin, but I was happy to be so close to her again. I thought she looked happy to see me too. "Yes, she's very lovely. I think she's beautiful." Now, both of us were smiling at each other. Richard made some kind of sound, like he had a bad taste in his mouth or something. I saw Mrs. Connor looking at him worriedly, but he stopped making the sound when she turned to look at him. Mrs. Parsons spoke again. "We have a nice day planned for the five of us. First, Richard needs to go see Mr. Thresher in his office, to be officially welcomed back to the club. It's really just a formality, but Richard, you should apologize for your past actions, then promise him that you've learned from that experience. Kenny will be with Dave taking his golfing lesson, and that will give Brenda and me a chance to talk together while you're accompanying Richard to Frank Thresher's office, Georgia. When you're done, let Richard go to the pool, then you can come back to join us all at the practice range. We can hit some warm up balls, and get ourselves ready to play. I thought it would be nice today if Kenny took Brenda to drive his cart. They could get all caught up with each other, and you and I could continue our earlier conversation, without having to disturb anyone else." "Bertie, having Brenda and Kenny being alone together is something that Walt specifically forbade." "Did he? Well I wasn't aware of that restriction until just now. Very well. We wouldn't want to go against Walt's expressed wishes, would we? Brenda can drive your cart then, and I will ride with Kenny." With that all decided, Richard and his mom went into the clubhouse, while Brenda and I went to the range, with me carrying Mrs. Connor's bag. Mrs. Parsons went to the pro shop to have her clubs and mine brought out, and to get someone to let Dave know that I was ready for my lesson. I hit a few balls to get warmed up from the two big buckets the assistant pro brought with our clubs. Brenda and Mrs. Parsons sat together on a bench nearby, with Mrs. Parsons holding Brenda's hand and speaking to her quietly. I saw Brenda nodding her head a few times, but she was mostly just trying to listen to everything Mrs. Parsons was telling her. Dave got there soon after this, and I got busy working on my lesson. I noticed Mrs. Connor return about halfway through my lesson, and then she and Mrs. Parsons started hitting some balls to get ready for our game. Everything seemed normal until right after the lesson was completed. The assistant pro had driven two golf carts up to the practice range, and Mrs. Parsons had him load her bag and Mrs. Connor's onto the same cart. She told me to put my bag on the other cart, then she and Mrs. Connor took off, leaving Brenda and me with the other cart. I looked over at Brenda, but she was busy watching her mother and Mrs. Parsons driving away. "Richard's going to tell my father about this. You can bet that he's going to be watching us when we tee off. I thought I was going to ride with my mother?" "I did too. That's what Mrs. Parsons said. She must have changed her mind or something. Will your dad be really mad?" "Kenny, he's already really mad. My parents have been fighting all weekend, mostly when they were each in different parts of the house. My mother has been yelling at him, trying to make him do what Mrs. Parsons asked her to get him to do. He only agreed after Mrs. Parsons said she could get Richard's suspension taken away. He isn't happy, and he hates you." "What will he do if Richard tells him we were alone together?" "I don't know, but it won't be good. If he wasn't worried about Richard not staying in shape for football, he wouldn't have let me come here today." We got in the cart and drove over to the first tee. I got out and pulled out my driver before walking over to where Mrs. Parsons and Mrs. Connor were standing. "Brenda is afraid that her driving in my cart will get back to Mr. Connor. Can we switch back to what we all agreed to?" "Kenny, I've already thought about all that. I've told Georgia how I feel about you being punished unfairly. Walt needs to decide what is more important to him, our friendship and continued patronage, or his unwarranted antipathy towards you." "I'd be more comfortable, and so would Brenda and Mrs. Connor, if we could ride like you said we would." Mrs. Parsons looked at me like she had looked at Mr. Parsons when he had said he wouldn't tolerate her using the company's business with Mr. Connor to get him to do what she wanted him to do. "Kenny, I've already decided how we will ride today. You have the honors, shall we play?" "I'm not going to make Mr. Connor mad just because you want to prove you can do whatever you want to. Why is it important to you to have us ride this way?" "Kenny, I've explained my actions to you as much as I'm going to. Do you wish to play, or don't you?" "No, I guess I don't. I don't like having people decide things like this for me." I turned back, walking over to the cart in order to put my driver back into my golf bag. In almost two months of my living with her, this was the first time that Mrs. Parsons was showing any anger at me. "Kenny, think carefully before deciding to oppose me this way. There is more involved here than your personal comfort. It is a matter of principle to me now." "You don't need me to be here while you do that. I'll wait for you over in the pool area." "If you walk away, you'll be walking away from much more than a game of golf. Are you certain that you want to do that?" I turned back to her. There was no mistaking the seriousness that had been in her voice. Mrs. Connor was standing there beside Mrs. Parsons, she looked very nervous, obviously not enjoying being a witness to this. I could feel the pressure of what was at stake between my temples. I resisted rubbing against that pressure, unwilling to betray the emotion I was feeling. I had been in countless situations that were roughly equivalent to this one. Always before, I had stood my ground, determined to not be bent to another's will. Always before, I had ended up with nothing to show for my trouble except new punishments or loss of privilege or opportunity. What made this time different, making it harder for me to stand firm, was that I had allowed myself to care about Mrs. Parsons, and about the wonderful lifestyle she was providing me with. "If you continue, both of us will lose our chance to be what we want to be to each other. I hope this principle of yours means as much to you as it is costing both of us today. There are some situations I don't handle very well, and this is one of those. I'm sorry." I walked away from the first tee, over towards the swimming pool. My legs felt weak, and I wanted to cry, but I just kept walking. As soon as I got to the pool gate, I walked to a lounger and sat down. I must have sat there alone for about forty five minutes before Hans came walking into the pool area looking for me. "Kenny, I'm supposed to take you home with me. Are you ready to go?" I got up and we walked over to Mrs. Parsons car. He hadn't brought the limo, so it was probable that he had only come just to get me. I looked over to the first tee, and the golf cart with my golf bag was gone. I went into the kitchen when I got back and told Gerta what had happened to me. I expected that she would see my side of things, but instead, she told me I should have been grateful for what I'd been given, and done what I was told. "Kenny, there can only be one boss. You can tell her what you want, but, she's the boss. She gets to make the final decision." "I can't do things that way, Gerta. I didn't want to make her mad, but she was doing that just because she wanted to show Mr. Connor that she was the boss, not him. She did the same thing with Mr. Parsons before. I didn't like it then, but she wasn't making me be a part of it." "She gave you a chance to choose. Why couldn't you just do what she asked? It wasn't so important. Look at everything she's done for you. It seems to me that it would have been very easy for you to just let her do it the way she wanted to. Why did you have to stand in her way like that?" "I don't know. I've always been like this. I guess I'm just stubborn and ungrateful, just like everyone has always said I was." "No, you aren't like that. You are a very nice boy. You remind me of her when she was your age. She never could stand not getting her way when she was convinced that she was right. You need to learn not to be so sure you are right so often, and to choose to fight only when it is very important to you. This was important to her, but not to you. It was her fight. She will win this fight, because she always does, but now, she will feel betrayed by the person she was fighting for. She will be in her room for at least a week now." "Gerta, I didn't try to make her mad. She got mad all by herself. At the end, I wanted to do what she wanted me to, but I couldn't. I think there's something wrong with me." "There is. You could be one of them, the Chalmers. They are all the same way as you. Hans noticed that about you too. They got it from their papa. None of you know how to retreat. You need to practice giving up. You watch Mr. Parsons, you can learn how he does it. She was mad when she called for Hans to go pick you up. When she calls back to be picked up later, maybe it's better if you go up to your room. Give her time to get over things before you see her again. Right now, it would just make things worse. I know her, Kenny. Leave her to me when she gets here. I'll tell her how bad you feel. Don't make it any worse." I went up to my room and went into my closet, looking at all my new clothes. I knew I might lose all that they had given me. I closed my closet door and turned off the light from the inside. It was so dark and quiet in there. I felt alone, completely alone, and it was a comforting feeling. In a short time, I started feeling more calm and relaxed about everything. I got down on my hands and knees and made my way to one of the far corners in the darkness. I put my back in that corner so that I faced out, looking towards where I knew the door was. I felt safe. I woke up because Gerta was calling my name. I didn't want her to find me like that, so I got up, making my way in the dark, carefully over to the light switch, which I turned on. I tried to smooth the wrinkles out of my clothes, and used my fingers to straighten my hair before I opened the door, but when I came out, Gerta was gone, and there was a food tray laying on my bed. I looked at my watch, surprised to find that it was after eight at night. I must have been asleep for about six hours or more. I was hungry too, so I lifted the napkin that Gerta had put over the food tray. It was stuffed pork chops with green beans and steamed rice. the pork was stuffed with Gerta's mushroom stuffing. She had made the pork very moist, just like her stuffing, and I loved the way everything tasted. When I was done with everything, I took the empty plate and silverware downstairs to the kitchen. It was empty, so I needed to turn on the lights and I decided to clean everything and put it all away. I was almost done when I heard Mrs. Parsons behind me. "Why were you in your closet like that? Were you trying to mock me?" She looked like she'd been weeping. She sounded sad. "No. I went in there, looking at my clothes, and it was quiet, so I shut the door and turned off the lights. It was peaceful in there, and it made me get calmer. I just sat down for a minute, and I guess I fell asleep. I didn't even know you were home. I fell asleep around one thirty or two when that happened." "Don't mock me Kenny. I couldn't stand that. I realize my ways seem strange to you, but I'm coping as well as is possible for me. I'm still very upset with you, for the way you took sides against me today. I was working on your behalf." "I know you were. Gerta explained it to me. Still, it wasn't comfortable for me to be made to go against Brenda's father's wishes." "It was comfortable to go against mine though?" "I didn't choose to force the issue. You wanted to make some kind of statement to Mr. Connor. I didn't want to be a part of that. Gerta said you did it for me, but I think you did it because you wanted to, and because both you and he knew you could do it." "He needed reminding." "I already know how much power you have over my life, I don't need to be reminded. I could love you, but not if you have to prove to me that you can make me do things. If you can't love me without needing me to do what you tell me to, I'd rather leave here right now." "No one has spoken of you leaving. I was pointing out to you that you let me down today." "I was speaking about leaving, and when you try to make me do something, like you did today, I feel like I'm nobody to you. I've been nobody for too long, I don't want to be nobody here too. Mr. Parsons hates being treated like nobody too." "Now, you're just being impertinent. I won't have you analyzing my marriage, or telling me how to treat people." "I know why you hide in the closet now. It's where you go to give up." "You're so wrong. I don't give up. If you think that's why I go there, then you understand nothing about me." "You don't call it giving up, but that's what it is. I could feel it when I was there today. It's a safe place. I can see why you like it." "I do not give up." "Mr. Parsons could love you, but you'd have to learn to give up right in front of him." "Don't try to sidetrack me, Kenny. I don't give up." "You don't hook your drives, you don't lose to Mr. Parsons at golf, you don't sell your father's company. Mr. Parsons never had sex with Mrs. Connor." "You can't know that." "I do know it. He doesn't hide his emotions as good as you and I do. I could see his face when you were talking about Mrs. Connor, and then about Bea. Why is it you think he did have sex with Mrs. Connor?" "Because she has thrown herself at him repeatedly, for fifteen years, that's why. I've seen them talking together at the club and at parties. She can be so obvious." "He never had sex with her, I'm sure. He's really sorry about Bea too. I know you've already given up to him a lot, but he doesn't know you did, because you never do it in a way he recognizes as being that." "I repeat, I don't give up." "Is it that important to you? Think of all the trouble you'd save if you could learn how to do it, and then move on with your life. Gerta told me that I needed to watch Mr. Parsons, if I wanted to learn how to give up. I have a feeling you and I could learn this together. This is something I've always had trouble with too. We could try to help each other." "If you want to learn how to give up, you need to find someone else to teach you how to do that. I have no interest in learning that particular skill." "I need to learn how, whether you teach me or not. I guess I can teach myself, now that I understand my real problem. I don't want to keep getting into trouble because I don't know how to give up. I'd rather find a way to be able to avoid situations like today's in the future." "We've yet to discuss the consequences for your decisions earlier today. What do you think would be a fitting punishment for today's disobedience?" "Whatever you're comfortable with." "What if I told you I was suspending your membership privileges at the country club?" "That's all right." "How about sending you away to a boarding school then? Would you like that?" "Whatever you decide." "Tell me a punishment that you would hate." "I would hate it if you decided you didn't want me to live here anymore. If you sent me back to an orphanage." "I won't allow you to defy me like you did today. Do you promise never to do that again?" "No." "You leave me no choice." "I know. I guess this is what had to happen. I'm sorry. I really liked living here with you. I'll miss you." "You planned this didn't you? You wanted to force me to have to make this choice. You think I care about you enough to give in on this. You may be mistaken. Are you truly willing to live with the consequences if you are?" "It's your decision, not mine." "Why are you so willing to make this into a contest where no one will win?" "No one has ever cared about me enough to put what I want ahead of what they wanted. I guess I've never really given anyone the chance to before. I'm giving you a chance to do that right now." "You can't test for caring, Kenny. It isn't just a yes or no decision. What you're really asking of me would require that I do what I've already told you I have no interest in doing." "I'm not like you, I can't wait four years for you to try to convince me. I know that you care, but you need to show me that you can care enough." "What do you need for me to give up?" "Nothing." "But, I thought you said I need to learn to give up." "No, I said we both need to learn that. You need to show me that you care enough to put what I want ahead of what you want." "Well, you need to tell me what you want." "I want you to just love me." "What do you think I want, if it isn't that already?" "You want to control me." "I want what is best for you." "That's the same thing. You can still want the best for me without needing to control me. Today was a good example of that. You forced me to either do what you wanted or else not participate. You didn't care about what I told you I wanted." "I was doing it for you." "I asked you not to." "We have a real problem, Kenny. I'm trying to help you, but to you, it is me controlling you. You need guidance. You just have to trust that what I'm doing is done with your best interests in mind." "You don't listen. I told you I didn't want to do what you wanted me to do. You tried to force me to do it because it was what you wanted me to do. If you aren't going to listen to what I want, I'm going to give up. I won't tell you what I want, but I won't do anything I don't want to. It will be just like being back at the orphanage again." "What you're asking for is impossible for me to give." "Then I'll leave when Mr. Chalmers gets back here. There are a lot of kids you could get that wouldn't mind doing things the way you want me to." "I'm sorry you feel that way." I turned and left the kitchen. We had both said what we needed to. We both knew that the other wouldn't be able to give up. Even though I felt terrible, I took comfort in knowing I had tried my hardest to explain what I needed to have. Always before, I had kept quiet about what I wanted, knowing that what I wanted wouldn't matter to anyone I might have tried to talk to. At least with Mrs. Parsons I thought it might matter to her. Tuesday morning Hans came to get me to take me to my golf lesson, but I refused to go. I didn't go down to breakfast or lunch. I ate dinner with Hans and Gerta, but I didn't ask about Mrs. Parsons, and I didn't tell them what had happened in the kitchen the night before. When I came down Wednesday, I saw Bea sitting at the dinner table with Mrs. Parsons. They were talking and having their breakfast. I looked around for Mr. Chalmers, but he wasn't anywhere that I could see. I looked out the living room window and his car wasn't there. I went back up to my room without stopping to say hello to Bea. Mr. Chalmers came out to see me at around four thirty. He and I went for a ride in his car so we could talk in private. "Bertie told me that you wish to leave, Kenny. Is this something you've considered carefully?" "Yes." "She told me what happened to cause this. I'm afraid it sounds to me like you are making something big out of something that isn't really that important. Bertie told me that she wants you to be happy, but she isn't willing to give you the autonomy you say you require." I wasn't sure what autonomy was, but I already knew she wasn't willing to give me what I had asked for. I had accepted that and was ready to leave. I hoped we could leave right away, because I didn't feel comfortable staying there anymore. "Don't you have anything to say, Kenny?" "No." "Does this mean you want me to find you another place to live?" I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't tell him what I wanted, because what I wanted wasn't possible. Mrs. Parsons had already told me that. "Very well. I will attempt to find you a suitable new home. Bertie has told me that you are welcome to stay where you are until I have done so. Is that satisfactory to you?" "I guess. How long before you find a place?" "Less than a week I'm sure. Try not to add to the rift you and Bertie seem to have created. Do you still have that card I gave you with all my numbers on it?" "No, Bea has it because I gave it to her to call you." He reached into his pocket and took out a new one, writing on the back of it before handing it to me. "Kenny, I don't know why this had to happen. I really thought I'd placed you into an ideal situation. I'll do my best to find you a good home." On Thursday, Mr. Parsons came home. He had been in New York having meetings with the big bosses at Consolidated Foods. When he found out that I was leaving, he and Mrs. Parsons got into a big argument. There was a lot of yelling, and Mr. Parsons sounded really mad at her. They wound up in their bedroom suite, but I could still hear a lot of their yelling even through the closed doors. After about an hour, Mr. Parsons came out of their room and left in his car again. That night, Bea tried to come into my room, but I had my door locked. I stayed up until midnight, waiting until it was officially my birthday before going to sleep. I had made it to fifteen. Even though I was leaving soon, I was glad I'd had my birthday in Mrs. Parsons house. I'd never had a birthday before outside of the orphanage, not one that I remembered at least. It would have been better if it had come when everyone hadn't felt bad like we did now. I knew that Gerta and Hans felt bad, because both of them had told me already. I planned on calling Brenda one more time, right before I left. I wanted to tell her goodbye, and that I'd try to call her again after I got settled. Friday I stayed in my room all day. I didn't want to see anyone, because I knew that I'd start crying if I did. It turned out to be the worst birthday I ever had. Mr. Parsons didn't come home at all for the weekend, and Mrs. Parsons never left her room. I talked with Bea a little bit, mostly about her vacation, because I wouldn't tell her what was wrong, or anything about what was going to happen. Bea had a court date in three weeks, and she told me that she had definitely decided to move to Los Angeles. On Monday morning, Mr. Chalmers came to see me again. He told me that he had a proposition that he wanted to discuss with me. I told him that I was willing to listen. We got in his car and drove down to his office. It wasn't as fancy inside as I thought it would be. There were only about six or seven people working there that I could see. We went into a big room that had a long table with about fifteen chairs. We were the only two in there. "Kenny, I need you to listen carefully to what I'm saying. If there's anything along the way that you don't understand, I want you to stop me and tell me. In this meeting, I represent you, and your interests are what I'm trying to safeguard. First, I've found a couple here in Ridgeline who are willing to make you welcome in their home. They are a young couple, in their late twenties, and they are childless. There is a possibility that this could be a permanent home for you, at least until you leave for college in three more years. They aren't wealthy though, and you wouldn't enjoy the lifestyle that you had at Bertie's home. If you want, we can drive over and meet them later today. If the meeting goes well, there's no reason why you can't move in there immediately. Do you have any questions so far?" "Not so far. Are you going to tell me more about them?" "I will later. Right now though, I want to tell you of a second offer that I've received. It is an unusual offer, and I'm frankly reluctant to even discuss it with you. It was presented to me last night by Tommy Parsons. It isn't an offer of a home to live in, although it is an offer for a living arrangement. Bertie and Tommy are currently estranged, and are, in all probability, headed for a divorce soon. Tommy is proposing that you allow him to enroll you in the Clement Academy over in Holton. He will take care of any expenses involved, and has offered to provide you with places to visit during holidays and school vacations. The school itself has a fine reputation, and it is populated with children from well to do families from all over the world. It is an opportunity for you to receive a sound education without having the distraction of trying to integrate yourself into a family. It is Tommy's contention that your unique prior circumstances have made it unlikely that you could easily fit in with any traditional family. I have been authorized by him to draw up a contractual agreement that binds him to taking care of your schooling and living expenses through university level." "What does he want from me for doing this?" "Nothing apparently. He told me to tell you specifically that you are under no obligation to him, monetarily or socially. If you choose to do so, you may remain at the academy year round. A number of the Foreign students do so, as well as a few others whose home situation is unstable. If you should choose to visit with him, Tommy has agreed to make certain that your reasonable needs are taken care of, and that you are welcome to join him, wherever he might be." "He didn't offer to let me live with him though?" "No, not on a permanent basis. His own living arrangements are subject to change in the near future. He would become your new guardian, while I would remain your court appointed attorney. Both of us would be looking out for your interests." "Tell me about this other couple. Why do they want me to live with them?" "They have the spare room, and the expense money paid to them by the County will be of assistance to them. They are a nice couple, and I have no doubts that they would do their best to make you a good home." "If I decided to go to this school that Mr. Parsons wants to send me to, what happens if I don't like it and want to leave?" "In that case, I would attempt to find you another placement, one more to your liking. Tommy is concerned about you future, Kenny, as am I. Bertie knows about Tommy's offer, and she is hopeful that you will accept it. You've made an impression on all of us, Kenny. Each of us accepts partial blame for your wanting to leave. If you accept Tommy's offer, it will give all of us time to try to work out some compromise that might prove successful at some later date." "If I did accept, how soon could I leave for this school?" "I'm sure it could be arranged for Hans to drive you there tomorrow, if you choose to leave that soon." "What do I need to do if I decide to accept Mr. Parsons offer?" "You just need to tell me that you accept it. I will arrange everything after that." "I accept it then." Mr. Chalmers nodded and then he got up and took me back out to his car. We drove back, neither of us in the mood for any further conversation. When he drove into the big parking circle, I realized that I would be leaving soon and might never be back there again. Mr. Chalmers told me that he needed to get right back to his office, but promised to come see me soon at the Clement Academy. I went into my bedroom and tried to figure out what I wanted to take with me when I left. I wished that I'd asked Mr. Chalmers about that when I had the chance. I stayed in my room again past lunch time. Ever since I'd had my birthday and no one had even noticed it, I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to leave. I wasn't sure anyone even knew when it was, but someone should have said something to me. At dinner, Bea had come to my bedroom door and told me that I was expected at dinner. I had the door locked and told her that I wasn't hungry. "You think you're just going to leave us in the morning, without anyone getting a chance to say goodbye? Gerta made you a big send off dinner, Kenny. Really, she's been cooking it all day. We want to have one more regular dinner before you leave. This whole joint has been like a morgue since I got back here. Come on downstairs and liven things up for us. Don't you even want to say goodbye to us?" "All right, I'll be down in ten minutes, Bea." I went and washed my face and combed my hair. I didn't feel like dressing up, but I put on a clean shirt anyway. I planned on eating my dinner and then going right up to go to sleep. In the morning I'd pack a bag and take it downstairs to put by the door. I'd try to find out at dinner what time Hans was planning on us leaving. I'd try calling Brenda to tell her goodbye right before we left. I knew that Holton wasn't that far away. It couldn't cost that much to call Brenda from there. When I came down to dinner, I was surprised that there were so many place settings set. When the people started coming out of the library, I was even more surprised to see Brenda, Mr. Chalmers and Mr. Parsons too. We were just sitting down at the table when Mrs. Parsons came down the stairs. Bea was helping her, and she looked like she had been sick for awhile. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she was dressed in a gray robe. Her hair had been brushed and she looked like she had her makeup on, but she still didn't look well. I saw her stumble two or three times coming down the stairs. As she came closer, I could see she was crying. As soon as she got close to the table, I stood for her. Mr. Parsons came over too, and held her chair for her while she took her seat. Up close, I could tell that it had probably been Bea that had put on her makeup and brushed her hair. It wasn't done like Mrs. Parsons usually did it. Mrs. Parsons appearance must have surprised everyone else as much as it did me. Nobody said anything until Gerta brought in the baked lobster tails. Usually, Gerta served Mr. Parsons and then Mrs. Parsons, and then anyone else at the table in no particular order. This time she served me first, and gave me the biggest lobster tail on her tray. After that, she served Mrs. Parsons and then went to Mr. Chalmers before going to Mr. Parsons. We all ate quietly. I didn't even try talking to Brenda. The first fifteen minutes we were sitting there, Mrs. Parsons cried. Then, she stood up and asked to be excused. When she stood up, all of us stood up, and Bea moved to her side and helped her make her way to the stair case. They went up together slowly, so slowly it was painful to have to watch it. After Mrs. Parsons was gone, conversation at the dinner table started up. Brenda told me that Mr. Parsons had called her house earlier and had talked with her father. According to Brenda, Mr. Parsons had told him that if she wasn't at his home by seven o'clock Mr. Connor would never do another dollar's worth of business with him again. When she got there, Mr. Parsons had told her that it was a going away dinner for me, and told her that I was leaving in the morning for Holton. Mr. Chalmers had apparently gone outside to speak with Mr. Connor, telling him that he would make sure Brenda got home safely after the dinner was concluded. One thing I noticed was that Brenda and I weren't left alone for a minute. I think that was part of a deliberate plan. I asked Mr. Chalmers about what clothes to take, and that was when he told me that Mr. Parsons was having my school uniforms custom tailored by the man who had made my suits two months before. I should come to school in dress slacks and a nice shirt, and bring at least three other complete changes of outfits. My new school uniforms would be delivered to the academy within the week. He did tell me to take two pair of dress shoes, one black and one brown, preferably with plain toes, and a pair of tennis shoes too. I could take all of my toiletries, including my hairbrush and combs. Anything else I might need could be brought over to me by either Hans or Mr. Chalmers. After dinner, I walked Brenda out to Mr. Chalmers car. I told her that I'd call her in the morning right before we left. Hans had told Gerta that we'd be leaving around ten thirty in the morning. After they left, I went back inside, but Mr. Parsons came over to me and asked me to come into his study. "Kenny, I'm very worried about Bertie. You saw her tonight, you can see how badly she's taking all of this. She is going ahead with the divorce, in spite of the fact that I've asked her repeatedly to let some time pass to see if we can patch up our differences. With you deciding to leave, I think it is more than she is able to bear. I talked with Bunny, and we both want you to do us a big favor. Before you leave in the morning, we want you to look in on Bertie. Say something hopeful to her. Make something up if you must. She isn't listening to either Bunny or me, and she isn't sleeping. She can't take too much more. You've seen her tonight, and this is after she had done her best to look presentable for you. Go see her in the morning. Give her something that she can cling to. Bunny and I will appreciate anything you can do for her." "I'll make sure to see her, if she lets me in. Thank you for giving me this other opportunity. I'll try not to make any trouble for you there." He got up and shook my hand. I could really see how worried he was for his wife. We tried to talk about other things, but I could see he was too upset about Mrs. Parsons condition to be able to make small talk with me. He excused himself and left. After he had gone, I went into the kitchen and talked to Hans and Gerta while Gerta put the leftovers away, and cleaned up everything from the big dinner. Bea had come down while we were in the kitchen, and she told us that Mrs. Parsons was in her closet again, weeping uncontrollably. Bea and Hans each had a stiff drink. I gave Gerta a big hug and a kiss and turned to give Bea one too. "If you leave your door unlocked, kid, I'll come up and give you a proper send off later on." "No thanks, Bea. I don't want you to spoil me for the other girls I'll meet someday." "I was thinking more about me than I was about you. I'm getting to the point where old Hansel and Gretel here are beginning to look good to me. Even Carol isn't taking my calls anymore. Did you say something to her while I was gone?" "No, I just saw her once with two of her friends out at the club. I told her you had gone to Hawaii for two weeks, that's about all." Shortly after that, I went up to bed, locking my door. I heard Bea trying my door a little after eleven o'clock, but she went away after only a minute or so. At twelve o'clock, I got up and went out of my bedroom over to Mrs. Parsons room. As soon as I opened her bedroom door, the one inside her suite, I could hear her whimpering inside her closet. when I opened her closet door, the light from the bedroom window let me see her huddled underneath a light blanket. She was rocking forwards and backwards, and I could make out only a few of the words she was repeating in a litany. It sounded like "No Bunny, it's not right" but she kept repeating it over and over again, so low that it was difficult for me to tell if I had heard her right. "Mrs. Parsons, it's Kenny, I've come to say goodbye. I wanted to tell you thank you for everything you've done for me. I'm going to miss you a lot. After I get settled in at the new school, I'd really like it if you could come to visit me." She stopped her rocking when I started talking to her, and stopped whatever she'd been saying over and over. I got down on my knees, right in front of her, and hugged her through the blanket. "Kenny, please don't leave me, I give up. If you leave me too, I won't have anybody. I don't want to be all alone." "I'm not leaving, I'm just going away to school. You can come visit me whenever you want to, and you can invite me to come here on weekends like we talked about. We just need to try harder to work things out. I think we can do it if we both try hard enough." She pulled the blanket off of her head and looked at me. I'd never seen anyone look so sad. "You don't have to leave me Kenny. If you stay, I promise I'll try to be better." "I do have to go. It's already settled and everything. I leave in the morning. I'm going to talk to Mr. Chalmers tomorrow, and ask him if it's okay if I come back here on weekends if I want to. Mr. Parsons is real worried about you too. Do you think you could get in bed and go to sleep if I promise to come back on the weekend? We can go to the club and play some golf." "I can't sleep, that's when the dreams come. I'm afraid of the dreams. Stay here with me, Kenny. The dreams never come when I'm in here. We're safe in here." Instead of listening to her. I lifted her to her feet and walked her out of the closet and over to her bed. I made her get in bed and then I got in next to her, and held her until she fell asleep. I waited fifteen minutes and then got up, pulling more covers over her before I left. I was coming out of her bedroom when the suite door opened and I saw Gerta coming in with a bottle of some kind of whiskey. Before she could say anything to me, I put a finger in front of my mouth and shushed her. "She just went to sleep. I got her to come out of the closet and into her bed. I think she'll be all right for awhile." We went out of the suite, into the hallway, shutting the door carefully behind us. Gerta gave me another hug and thanked me for getting Mrs. Parsons to come out of her closet, and into her bed so she could sleep. "Kenny, I'm worried about after you are gone. Too much is happening to her right now." "You need to keep her eating, Gerta." "She gets upset and she won't eat." "Tell her she has to eat something or I won't come to visit her on the weekends. Tell her you have to tell me. If you tell me she isn't eating, I won't come. You have to be honest about it though, or it won't work." "When she has her depressions it won't work. She can't help it when they come." "If she won't eat, I won't come. You tell her that. Tell her that's what she has to give up for me, this not eating. That's what I want. She'll know what you mean." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 24 Hans drove me over to Holton the next morning. Mrs. Parsons came downstairs to sit with me at breakfast, and to see me safely off. She looked more natural than she had the night before, but still very tired and wan. I told her that I needed her to try to eat better and to regain her strength. She said that she had already checked with the school and cleared it with the administration for me to be picked up Friday after five P.M. It was school policy to try to be responsive to the wishes of parents and guardians regarding visitation and absences from campus. I found out from Hans that this was a very expensive prep school, and that they specialized in students with behavioral problems, and ones from other countries who needed help to get a better grasp of English. When we got there, the buildings and grounds were impressive. The campus was located on sixty acres of land that had been in the Clement family for six generations. Originally, it had been part of a much larger farm, but half had been sold in the nineteen thirties, during the height of the depression, and the remaining half section was divided among the six surviving Clement children. Each son received sixty acres, and the two daughters received forty acres each. Since both daughters were married, their husbands sold their inheritance to Malcolm Clement the eldest brother, and the only one in the family with a steady job, and the willingness to sign a promissory note for two thousand dollars for these two parcels. The sixty acre parcel the Academy was located on had been the one belonging to the youngest son, George Clement, who lost his inheritance in a poker game in Korea during the winter, early in 1952. The winner of the land had been one Alexander Courtney Billings, a corporal that served with George in the 32nd Infantry Regiment of the 7th Infantry Division. In May of 1952, Cpl. Billings was pinned down by enemy fire, caught out in the open, as he searched for a place to void his distended bowels. It was that same George Clement, who sighted in, and laid down a sustained barrage of covering fire with a BAR that George had converted into a scope mounted sniper rifle, his actions thus enabling Billings to escape with nothing more serious than a nearly spent machine gun slug lodged in his right patella, heavily soiled skivvies, and a heart that was beating at close to 190 beats per minute by the time a corpsman finally reached him, pulling him to safety. Due to the nature of his injury, Corporal Billings was sent home with his 'million dollar wound', while poor George Clement was left behind to endure nine additional months in Korea. Returning to school under the GI Bill, Corporal Billings earned a Doctorate in School Administration, married well, and then built the Academy on George Clement's land, using his new wife's family money. From that humble beginning, rose the majestic empire that became Clement Academy. Opened in 1960, it quickly gained a reputation for being isolated enough to tame the unruliest of problem children. Through word of mouth, by 1984, Clement Academy had grown through institutional grants and generous private endowments, into an institution of learning that was impressive in its appearance, and noted for high academic standards, if not for its list of distinguished graduates. It was really a three tiered prep school. One third of the student population was concerned with academic excellence, one third was concerned with English familiarization training, and the final one third were essentially informal inmates at an expensive private boy's reformatory. Catering to grades eight through twelve, "CA" as it was generally called, was home to over one hundred boys and young men. They were housed in three residential buildings, each one bearing an official name. They were named after tree types that were never present on any part of the property, Oak Hall, Birch Hall and Sycamore Hall. Oak Hall contained three floors of expansive residential apartments, four boys per apartment, four apartments per floor. Each apartment contained four private bedrooms, each measuring ten feet by twelve feet, a large bath, with four sinks and four toilets, a large shower, and a common living/study area, with four separate study desks and chairs. It was reserved for the serious academic students. This is where I was housed after Hans dropped me off in front of the administration building. Oak Hall was for the boys who spoke English well already, and who presented no discipline history. I found out quickly enough that the students referred to it as "Joke Hall". Birch Hall was the same size as Oak Hall, with the same number of apartments and rooms. In Birch Hall, each apartment had its own resident 'counselor', an adult, usually with a background which included competence in some form of unarmed combat. Students residing in Birch Hall were subject to random searches, inspections, and the kind of discipline you might find in a military boot camp. This residence was call "Search Hall" by the students. Sycamore Hall had thirty two private apartments, sixteen per floor. Fully half of the students housed there were accompanied by a cook/servant/companion. This is where the students from foreign countries came for a crash course in American English. The student population referred to this residence as "Spicamore Hall". I was informed in my orientation interview that I was now part of a student body numbering one hundred seven students. Forty six in "Joke", thirty six in "Search" and thirty one in "Spic". Eight of the students in my new residence were foreign born, but fluent in English already. Since I was coming in as a tenth grader, I was housed on the second floor. Only juniors and seniors were allowed to reside on the ground floor. The Academy was actually three miles due west of Holton, on a farm road that connected to Hwy 75. Topeka was about thirty three miles from the Academy. A team of two of the 'special counselors' kept a perimeter watch on the Academy grounds. They told us it was to keep people from sneaking into the Academy, but everybody knew it was to prevent runaways from "Search". The three other boys in my apartment were made up of two other tenth graders, one from England, and one from Ohio, and an eleventh grader, Terry Gorsen, from Illinois, right outside of Chicago. Terry's main claim to fame was that he came into the school as a resident of "Search" and had worked his way up to being a "Joke". The other boys whispered that his father was a hit man for the Mafia, but Terry just laughed and said his father was in the dry cleaning business. The English boy's name was Nigel, he was fifteen years old and as soon as he started speaking, you knew he was very smart. He was starting his second year at CA, and his father worked in New York for Jaguar, the British car maker. Jerry Sandor was another fifteen year old. He was just coming to CA from another boarding school that only kept boys through the ninth grade. His parents were divorced, and his mother had remarried a man who was a lot younger than she was. Jerry hated him, and his mother kept Jerry in boarding schools because his being around made it hard for her to claim to still be in her twenties. Jerry stuttered, picked his nose, and then put the snot in his mouth when he thought no one was looking at him. Nigel was gay. When I first met him, that was the first thing he told me about himself, even before he told me his name. The second thing he told me was not to worry because he was already booked up through graduation. He was funny, and except for his strange accent, and the fact that he was a boy, he kind of reminded me of Bea. Terry told me to be careful around Nigel because he wasn't always able to resist a new delicacy. I think he was kidding. He was laughing when he said it, and so was Nigel. I was given the room closest to the bathroom, and they told me we were each responsible to keep our own rooms clean. The newest boy was what they called the 'latrine queen', which meant his cleaning assignment was the bathroom. Each boy was responsible for his own sink and the mirror in front of it, but I had to clean everything else, including the toilets and the showers. I didn't mind, because I had a lot of experience doing that already. Terry, being the only junior was the apartment captain. He had to handle all of the messages and reports coming out of the admin building. Jerry was responsible for keeping the common living area clean, and Nigel was responsible for laundry and supplies. He didn't do the laundry, but he had to take it over to the cleaners, and then return the cleaned things back to us. All of the boys already had their school uniforms except for me. Because of all my years living at the orphanage, I didn't have any trouble adjusting to the new school. All of the teachers were men, and most of them were older men. Most of them had been college professors before coming to CA. There were three women on campus, one in the laundry room, one in the admin office, and one working in the kitchen. I ate lunch that first day, and I knew right away that I was going to miss Gerta, a lot. Dinner was a little better, but nothing like what I'd gotten used to enjoying at Mrs. Parsons dinner table. Each floor had two pay phones, one at either end of the hallway. I called Brenda on my first evening there, but we only talked for about ten minutes. The phone call cost me sixty five cents, and I made a mental note to ask Hans to stop off on the way back from my visit, so that I could get more change for phone calls. The second night I called Mrs. Parsons. When she came to the phone, the first thing I told her was that I was low on change for the phone, so I wouldn't be able to talk to her for long. She asked me the number on the front of the phone, so I gave it to her. She had me hang up, then called me back right away. It still cost me twenty cents, but that was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. "We talked for almost an hour. I didn't think we had that many things to talk about, but we did. She told me she was eating everyday. She even told me about having a half a grapefruit in the mornings, on days when she wasn't hungry. I complained a little bit about the food, but it was more me bragging about how good a cook Gerta was than actually complaining about my new food. The next day was Friday, and Mrs. Parsons asked me if it would be okay with me if she came to get me herself. "We can go hit some golf balls if you'd like. We can't eat at the club though. Gerta would skin me if she thought I'd done anything to spoil your appetite for the dinner she has planned for your homecoming." "I've only been gone a couple of days. It isn't like I've been away for months or anything." "Kenny, Gerta and I both miss you. For us, it's a homecoming." "Will Mr. Parsons be there?" "No. Mr. Parsons and I are presently living apart. In fact, we're in the process of divorcing." "That's too bad. I was hoping to see him, to ask him some questions about his being my guardian now." "If you call Bunny, I'm sure he can answer any questions you might have." "I kind of wanted to win that seven dollars back he won from me in the back yard." "Kenny, if you need money, I'll be happy to give you some." "No, I just wanted to win it back from him. Plus, I wanted to see him too, just to see him." "We are passing through a difficult stage right now. Thomas wouldn't want to come visit you, knowing it would make me uncomfortable." "Maybe I should give him a call then, and ask him if I can come visit him the weekend after. I guess I just thought I'd be able to see both of you when I came to visit. Is he still a member at the country club? Could I meet him over there, and we could have lunch and play some golf?" "Perhaps you could do that. I'm sure he'd be happy to make some time for you if you asked him to." "Maybe I'll call him after I get home tomorrow night, if that's okay? Maybe he can come to the club early on Sunday, for nine holes, or at least to hit some balls with me. I don't have to be back until nine o'clock Sunday night." "When were you planning on seeing Brenda, Kenny. Don't you think she'd be hurt if you didn't make an effort to spend some time with her." That was a good point. I guess I'd already been a little bit heavy handed trying to get Mr. Parsons and Mrs. Parsons together again. I wasn't going to give up on that idea, not as long as I was hopeful that they might get back together again. "Do you think Mr. Connor would let her come over for lunch or dinner on Saturday? Maybe you could invite all of them over so they could see that Brenda and I weren't getting into any trouble." "I really can't stand Richard. I'd prefer to invite only Georgia and Brenda, if that's all right with you?" "Sure. That's probably better anyway. Mr. Connor and Richard both hate me." "I'm sure that hate is too strong, Kenny. Walt is upset with you, but I'm sure it doesn't even approach the level of hatred. As for Richard, you wouldn't really want someone like him for a friend anyway. Brenda is a lovely girl, and Georgia, she at least comes from a fine family. Perhaps we should invite Bunny as well. I'll put Bea on his right and Georgia on his left. It will be fun watching him squirming around. I'm sure Bea would keep the dinner conversation lively. I think we'll do that then. Dinner on Saturday. That's such a good idea, I think we should invite Thomas after all. Would you like that, Kenny?" "That sounds good to me. What are you doing when Bea leaves? Are you going to hire someone new?" "I don't think so. I didn't really ever need a paid companion. I'm perfectly able to care for myself." "I was just thinking someone younger than Gerta to climb up and down all those stairs. I'd feel better knowing that there was someone there to assist Gerta if she needed them." "I'll speak with Bunny. I don't think I need help, but, perhaps, Gerta is getting on in years. I don't want to put too big a strain on her. You know how she just has to be a mother hen to me. It is a carryover from my early girlhood, I'm sure." "Are we going to play golf Saturday morning? I don't want to get out of practice." "We'll plan on it, but we need to get out early if we want to play in a reasonable amount of time. Start after ten, and you're looking at a four and a half hour round on Saturdays. I wouldn't care to sit there and wait for slower members to hit their shots. I was going to speak to Frank Thresher about how crowded the course is getting on the weekends. If I wanted to stand around and wait to hit every shot, I'd play at a public course. The whole point of country club membership is to have something that is available to be enjoyed, not simply endured. We should double the initiation and the monthly assessment, that would bring it back to reasonable membership again." "Not everyone else is rich." "Precisely. Why do they try to pretend they are? There should be levels for membership. I'm not an elitist, Kenny, but I value my recreational pursuits. Why should I have to wait on someone who doesn't really belong in my country club at all? I mean, they should have a nice country club too, just not where I'm going to be playing. There are too few places where one can go and not be bothered by shoddy service and unconscionable delays. When Daddy was alive, he wouldn't have stood for it. He was one of six or seven people who got together and built the country club. In his time, club membership was limited to sixty families, and no more. You had to wait until someone either died, or needed to dispose of their assets before you could even hope to join here." "Maybe you should get six or seven families together and build another club?" "The same thing would just happen again. Too much business is done in a country club setting. In five years there would be too much pressure to expand membership rolls." "Build your own golf course. Then you could just invite your friends to play." "You know, Kenny, that isn't a bad idea. I've been looking to do something. I always thought this area needed a good private teaching course. I have plenty of land that would be suitable for a course. I'm certain I could find a young course designer to design and build what I have in mind. It would be something to occupy my thoughts and use up some creative energy at the same time. No country club. No weddings, dances, restaurants, pools, or tennis courts. Just a golf course and training center, devoted entirely to the tasks of teaching and learning the game. I'll speak to Bunny about organizing a corporation. I'll bet you Dave would be able to give me a treasure trove of good ideas and input. I'm excited. We'll talk more of this tomorrow." "You'll need a partner." "Bunny will be my partner." "Mr. Parsons is a good business manager. You'll need someone to go over all the proposals to see what's good, and what isn't. He likes stuff like that. He does it for fun. It could be a family business. You'd need to have a snack bar at least." "Kenny. You need to learn to be a little more subtle. Right now, your approach is too heavy handed. Do you think he'd do it?" "It would have a lot to offer him. You would need to bring him in right from the beginning, before Mr. Chalmers even. Let him know that you acknowledge his abilities, the value he would add to the deal. Equal partners too. Then he'd do it I think." "Even with the divorce?" "You'd need to ask him. I think he would. He might not want to quit his other job, but he already spends a lot of extra time just looking at business things. This would be a real good hobby for both of you." "If it were strictly a business proposition, then he would make the entire project more viable. He likes waiting even less than I do. One of the few things we share in common." "Come get me early tomorrow. I'm excited too, but mostly about seeing all of you, eating Gerta's cooking, and playing some golf again. Eat something before you come get me. Something solid, not another half a grape fruit." "Good night, Kenny. This was a good conversation wasn't it? Neither of us was brooding over anything." "Good night. Sleep good tonight. I don't want you tired out when I get home. We need to talk about what kind of things they'll teach out at the golf learning center. We'll need to make sure there is a whole area just for practicing each part of the game. It's going to take a lot of land, and a lot of money to build it." "I've got four hundred acres that would be perfect for it. There's even water on the land. I used to think about something like this when I practiced in the back of the estate. Somewhere I still have the drawings I made to show Hans what I wanted. We can start with those to show a course architect what we're aiming for." We hung up the phones, and I went back to my room. I needed to get in touch with Mr. Parsons before I left school. I didn't want him saying anything to upset Mrs. Parsons, or to take away from her enthusiasm. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 25 On Friday, my last class got out at three o'clock, but I still had to wait for my weekend pass to be processed, and then brought over to our apartment by Terry. I was the only boy from the room that was leaving for the weekend. As such, I was being given lists of items to bring back with me on Sunday night. Nigel gave me a twenty dollar bill, and asked me to buy him some condoms. Jerry said he was broke, but gave me a list of snacks and magazines that he said he really needed. How could you need magazines or snacks? Terry wanted to know if I could "score" him something to drink. He preferred vodka he said, but anything with alcohol would be appreciated. He too gave me a twenty dollar bill. I took his money, but I planned on saying that I wasn't able to get anything for him to drink. I wasn't sure about the condoms either, but I figured I could ask Hans about getting me some while I was at home. I was waiting out front with my pass in hand, when Mrs. Parsons drove up in her car at around four thirty. When she stopped the car right next to me, I hopped into the front and we had a hug. She was looking a lot better than she had when I'd left. She looked like her normal self again. We left right away, and actually managed to play nine holes together at the club. Since I thought we were just going to hit practice balls, actually getting to play was a very pleasant surprise. While we played, Mrs. Parsons filled me in on how much she had gotten done since our phone conversation the night before. It was quite a bit, including setting up appointments with two golf course designers for the next week. She had set up a two hour playing lesson with Dave for Monday morning, where she hoped to let him know of her own ideas and plans, and then solicit his help in finding her teaching professionals that he thought would fit in well with the concept she was launching. She told me that she wanted women teachers too, because she wanted to have a whole section just for girl players. "We need to think about building a lodge to house people coming in to spend time at the golf academy." "Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of building your own private golf course?" "Yes, I suppose it does in a way, Kenny. On the other hand, having a full time golf learning center is exciting for me to think about. Think of all the young people who could have a place to sharpen their skills and hone their game. Golf is such a wonderful game. It was a real Godsend for me, at a time when I had nothing else to cling to. I'd like to offer others an easier way to increase their skill level and their appreciation and enjoyment as well." I didn't want to say anything more to her about that, because I didn't want to destroy her good mood. She was obviously happy with the direction her thoughts were taking her with this golf academy idea. I still liked the idea of being able to play on a course where nobody else could slow you down or bother you. The way she was describing things, we'd be lucky to get any good golfing in ourselves. It was her land and her money, so I figured she could do what she wanted to with it. I was a little disappointed though. "Do you think it will be as good a course as this one is?" "A more difficult course. This course isn't that difficult to play, or to score well on. People don't want to go back to their work on Monday only to tell their coworkers they played at their club and shot double bogey golf, or worse. Here, a decent player can break ninety rather easily. Golf should be a challenge, where shooting a round at par or better is a significant achievement. An achievement far beyond the reach of the weekend player. I want a course for serious players, or for those determined to become serious players." "That sounds like a course where your brother might not be able to finish before dark, not unless he tees off pretty early. If you make it too hard, people might not want to play it." I would like to play it though, even if I couldn't post a decent score. That would be better in fact, because I'd have to think then, and try to figure out a way to play each hole to have a chance to score well on it. "People will want to play on it. Golfers, not people who are just out on the course, intent on doing some business deal. There is a place for those people, and they should be catered to, but not at the expense of serious players. This is why your suggestion found such a favorable reception with me. I had been mostly staying away from golf before you were brought to me. I found the playing conditions too frustrating to continue playing, so I seldom did. Social golf holds little appeal to me, but I've enjoyed so much watching you learning, and improving almost daily, in your play. It isn't difficult to learn to play, but it is difficult learning how to play well. Difficult, but rewarding, extremely rewarding." I found myself getting caught up in her idea again, even if it did mean that I wouldn't have the private course that I'd been hoping for. It was funny too, because I'd never even held a golf club in my hand less than three months before, but now I was feeling disappointment because I wouldn't have my own course. It didn't take long to get myself used to good things, and to start wanting even more of them. When we got done playing, it was nearly seven o'clock, and we needed to hurry home to dinner. I was really glad to see Gerta and Hans again. Bea too, but she was a little different to me. I liked her, but she wasn't part of the family that I had mentally carved out for myself. In ten days, she would go to court and then move to California, and I probably wouldn't ever see her again. I was still happy about the sex lessons she had given me, but, I had already made up my mind that I didn't want to start thinking the way she did about everything. Gerta had made me a rib eye roast, with mashed potatoes and gravy and corn on the cob. It wasn't just for me, because we all ate it, but she made it because she knew how much I liked it. She had given me a big hug when I ran into the kitchen to tell her I was home. She told me that she was going to be baking some of my favorite cookies, and those little German pastries I loved, just so I could take some back to school with me on Sunday night. I asked her where Hans was, and she told me he was out in back trying to figure out why the lights weren't working in the garage. Her saying that about Sunday night reminded me about Terry and Nigel's requests for me to bring things back for them. I found Hans standing in front of an electrical box, swearing at it in German. He said he was glad to see me, but that he had to go turn off all the power to take out a fuse someone had put in the wrong place. Since nobody but Hans ever touched any of the fuse boxes, I had a good idea of who the guilty culprit was, but I was smart enough not to mention that to him. It was at times like these that Hans started believing in Gerta's faith in the supernatural. It was either believe in ghosts and goblins, or else admit that he was the one who put the fuse in the wrong place. "Poltergeist. Has to be." Hans said this and laughed, after pulling out the badly burnt fuse from the metal brackets it had been almost welded to. He sanded the char off of the brackets and replaced it with another new fuse. He went off again to turn on the main power switch, and all the lights came on in the garage again. The new fuse lasted for perhaps forty five seconds before it blew too. Hans really took offense at the new fuse doing that, so he got out another new fuse, this one with a much higher rating, and put it in place of the blown one. He went out and turned the switch on again. Everything seemed to work just fine until the fire started. As soon as Hans noticed the fire, or at least the smell and the smoke coming out of the wall outlet over in the back corner, he turned off the power again. He used the extinguisher to put out the fire in the area around the faulty outlet. "Hah, now I've found the real problem." Hans seemed happy that he'd managed to trick the real problem into giving itself away so easily. I wasn't certain, but I remember thinking that he had almost burned down the garage with his unusual technique for trouble shooting. He was happy though, and no one else but me would ever know how he managed to isolate the electrical problem. "It's fine for now, Kenny. Now that I know what it is, it can wait until tomorrow for me to fix it." Half an extinguisher full of foam still needed to dry first, but I didn't mention that to him. Both of us were smiling though, as we walked back to the entrance in the kitchen. I remembered to give Hans the money from Terry and Nigel, and gave him Jerry's list. I asked him to just buy twenty dollars worth of condoms for Nigel. I didn't know how much they cost. I figured they wouldn't be much more expensive than regular balloons. After dinner, I called Brenda to tell her I was home. We talked for an hour, with me telling her about the new school and her telling me about having gone shopping for new school clothes with her mother. Her school didn't start for two more weeks, while my school year at CA had begun two weeks before I even got there. We got out on the first of May though, while Brenda didn't get out until the middle of June. Brenda seemed to take me going off to a prep school pretty well, better than I thought she would. When I asked her why, she said because there weren't any girls there. I told her about Nigel, but she just laughed, and told me he didn't worry her. "Did Mrs. Parsons call your mother yet about tomorrow night?" "You mean about her and me coming over for dinner? She called this morning, but my dad says no. My mother's talking to him, but he doesn't look like he's going to change his mind." "That's too bad. I was really looking forward to seeing you again." "Is that all, just seeing me?" "No, but there will be lots of people here, so that's probably all we could do is just see each other and talk." "You know how we use other names for things?" She had lowered her voice when she said this, like she was trying to be careful that no one else heard her from over at her house. "Like kitty and snake?" I sure hoped that was what she meant. "Yes, I have a new one now, called Kenny." She was still whispering almost, and I could here the excitement of her voice even then. "Kenny, that's a good name. Where's your Kenny located?" That was confusing. The other two were our pet names for her pussy and my dick. I wondered what the Kenny name was, her butt, or one of her breasts? "On my dressing table silly. I just got through brushing my hair with it." It took me only a couple of seconds to make the association from what she was saying. "Oh. So, you held Kenny in your hand and brushed your hair? I guess that's good. You probably brush your hair at least a few times each day." "I do, and I think of you when I'm brushing it too. That's not the reason I named it Kenny though. You already know the reason why I call it by your name." I was going to tell her to tell me why when I heard her father yelling at her to 'get her ass off the damn phone'. "Kenny, my dad wants to use the phone. I have to go now. Bye." The receiver clicked down before I could even tell her goodbye. We were just getting to the good parts, when he had to come make her hang up the phone. I hadn't started talking about sex stuff, she had. I'd said kitty and snake, but she'd been the one to bring it up. I knew that's what she meant. Ever since that day in the trees, I had been worried that I'd ruined those things between us. I knew she seemed to like that time as much as I did, but with everything that happened, I was afraid that we would need to stop it completely. It was good knowing that she didn't want to stop everything. We could still talk about it at least. Maybe she still wanted to do things too. I didn't know what I could do to make her father forgive me. Probably nothing. If he knew everything we had done and talked about, he would be even more upset with me. I had been really looking forward to seeing her the next day, and not just because of the touching or the kissing. I had missed just being around her. I'd missed Brenda more than I missed anyone else. It was nice to have my own room again. The rooms at the academy had doors on them, but no locks. It was a lot more privacy than at the orphanage, but not as much as I had right there at home. I thought about Brenda some more when I went in and showered. I remembered the way she tasted, and the way she held her hand up for me to lick off her juices after she made herself cum. I came so hard that it made a noise when it squirted out of my dick. It was like mustard coming out of one of those plastic bottles, kind of a 'pfftttt' sound. I thought that was kind of neat, and it came out pretty fast too. I went right to bed because we were teeing off at six twenty one the next morning. Mrs. Parsons told me to be ready to leave by five thirty. I set my alarm clock for five and went right to sleep. We got to the club before six o'clock, and actually teed off at about six ten. I looked at my watch when we finished up on the eighteenth, and it was eight forty exactly. We hadn't had anyone ahead of us on the front nine, and they waited until after twelve thirty before letting people tee off on the back nine to begin their round. We were back home before nine fifteen. We could have made it before nine, if Mrs. Parsons hadn't gone in to post our scores, and run into Dave in the pro shop. I was hungry when we got home, and Gerta already had waffle batter made and a big bowl of blended blueberries and whipped cream for a topping. I ate four big waffles, and Gerta tried to make me one more, but I told her no. I saw Hans looking at the dwindling supply of blueberries and whipped cream, and I knew he'd be crushed if I let Gerta make me another waffle. He liked Gerta's cooking as much as I did. Gerta told me that Mrs. Parsons had two poached eggs and a slice of buttered toast early in the morning, before we left for golf. She said that she seemed to have gotten her appetite back again. "I think it is her finally getting that divorce. Now she don't worry so much about what he's doing all the time." "No, I don't think so. I think she has a new idea and it has her excited again." I told her about the golf learning center, and noticed Hans listening and paying a lot of attention to what I had been mostly telling Gerta. "Do you play golf, Hans?" "No, I see no point to it. Who has the time? I used to like to make things for little Missy when she was younger. She show me what she wanted, and I could make it out in back for her. She practiced for hours and hours. Sometimes, she was hitting the same shot from early morning to when the night comes. That's how she got so good. This golf place, how big is it going to be? Maybe I could build it for her and save her some money." I smiled, thinking about Hans digging holes for bunkers and fairway traps. From what she had already told me, she thought it was going to take a whole construction crew at least several years to build what she wanted. "I think it is going to be bigger than the country club golf course. She's talking about maybe having thirty six holes instead of eighteen, plus practice areas for all the shots you'd need to learn. She told me that she hoped four hundred acres would be enough land to build it all." Hans nodded, looking a little disappointed that it was too big for him and his wheelbarrow and shovels to build. When we had been playing, I told Mrs. Parsons what Brenda had told me about Mr. Connor not being willing to let her or her mom come for dinner. I was worried that it would turn into another one of those things that had gotten both of us so upset before. She just told me that was too bad, before getting out of the cart and hitting her three wood two hundred yards, right up to the center of the green. This was on the third hole, and she never referred to it again, not for the rest of the round. I was relieved. After breakfast, I went up to my room and tried to take a nap before lunch. I hadn't slept well at the academy, and the night before, I'd gotten only about six hours of sleep. I went right to sleep, but woke up when Bea knocked on my door. I looked at the clock, and it was already two thirty. I felt pretty well rested, but I'd slept right through lunch. I opened my door and Bea grinned at me. "Come on downstairs, Kenny, your guests have arrived." I excused myself to go wash my face and comb my hair, but Bea either didn't hear me, or just didn't want to leave. She followed me into the bathroom and stood by the door watching me brush my teeth, wash my face and comb my hair. When I turned to leave, she held up her hand to stop me. "Don't forget to pee." "I don't need to pee." Bea was standing in the doorway, blocking me from leaving. "I'm leaving here right after next weekend, kid, don't you want to give me a little peek at it so I can remember what it looks like?" "Jeez Bea, how many have you seen, close to a thousand or something? What's so special about mine?" "Never mind then, if you're going to be like that. I might have seen a lot of them, but there's damn few that I want to remember. Yours is one I wanted to remember." I don't know why I did it, but I opened up the zipper on my pants, then pulled out my dick for her to see. I waited about fifteen seconds and put it away again. "There, satisfied now?" "Oh sure kid. That's got to be the easiest twenty bucks I ever made. That should teach Gerta that she doesn't know as much about boys and men as I do. She bet me the twenty that I couldn't get you to show me your tally whacker again. I didn't want to take unfair advantage of her, so I made the bet that I could get you to show it to me with your girlfriend in the house." Knowing that Gerta had had enough faith in me to bet on me, and then knowing I had lost her the bet, I felt bad. I was also mad at Bea for tricking me like that, playing on my sentimental side the way she did. "Relax, Kenny, I'm just teasing you. There wasn't any bet. Still, let that be a lesson to you. It could have just as easily been for a bet. Don't trust anybody. If you follow that advice, you'll live a happier life." "Bea you don't have to worry about me ever being too trusting. I'm going to miss you too, and I'm going to worry about what happens to you. I hope you find what you're looking for in California." "I'm sure I will. If you can find it in Kansas, it isn't hard to find almost anywhere." She moved away from my doorway, and I went down stairs. I saw Brenda sitting in the living room by herself. As I hurried over to her, I glanced in the library and was surprised to see Mr. and Mrs. Connor in there with Mr. and Mrs. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers. I didn't stop to go say hello to any of them. They were all standing around talking together, and they all had drinks in their hands. I walked over to Brenda and sat down about five feet away from her. "Hi. This is a very pleasant surprise." "Mr. Parsons came over to our house, and he talked to my dad. They were talking business, something about a new acquisition that Mr. Parsons is making. The next thing I knew, dad came in and told my mother and me to get dressed because we needed to be over here early. We came early so that he and Mr. Parsons would have time to iron out some figures on a new contract before dinner time. This is the reason why it's so good to be rich. Do you think my father would have let us come here, if he didn't worry that he wasn't going to get any of the new business if we didn't?" "I'm glad to see you. After we talked, I was afraid I wouldn't get to see you this weekend." I saw Brenda turn her head, and when I turned my head to find out what she was looking at, it was Mr. Connor and Mr. Parsons. They were both walking past us, heading towards the study. When Mr. Parsons called my name, I stood up. I was a little nervous with Mr. Connor standing right there. The last time I'd seen him, he had been pretty angry with me. "Kenny, it's good to see you. How's that school? Bertie said you wanted to play golf tomorrow. She said you are anxious to win your money back. I'm afraid I've already spent that money, but I'm not adverse to winning some more from you. Walt, it's too bad you don't play golf. Kenny plays for money. I'd feel bad about taking it from him if I didn't already know he's plotting to take me for a cool million dollars. What are you going to do with that money if you get it, Kenny?" I listened to him, but he was talking too fast for me to answer about the school. When he said that about the million dollars, I looked over at Brenda to see how she was reacting to him saying that. I saw that Mr. Connor was looking at me looking at Brenda. He didn't look upset at me. He probably was being careful around Mr. Parsons. "I'm going to give it to Mrs. Parsons to invest for me in her new idea." "The golf learning center idea? You might want to hold off on doing that until she thinks of a way to make any money with something like that. I didn't get a chance to go into it in any detail, but I'm afraid I can see problems with her idea already." "I'll never earn my million dollars if you keep looking at all the possible problems with her idea. I was hoping you would be the one to find a way to make it profitable. Isn't that what you do, take the pieces and maximize their potential? This could be the perfect equal partnership for you. There's some profits that aren't that easy to see, not if all you're looking at is money. She really likes this idea. It has her excited, and feeling good. This is something that she's thought about for a long time." "As I think I mentioned, I haven't had a chance to go into any of the details. When I do, I'll make every effort to keep an open mind, and look at everything to see what benefits are there. From what I've seen from your early efforts, I'm increasingly confident that you'll do your best to earn that million. I'll be thrilled to pay it to you if you do." He and Mr. Connor went into the study and closed the door behind them. I looked back inside the library and noticed Hans handing fresh drinks to Mr. Chalmers, Brenda's mother, and to Mrs. Parsons. I knew dinner wasn't until seven o'clock and here it was barely three o'clock now. I sat back down with Brenda. "I thought you were kidding about him offering you a million dollars, Kenny. Did you notice how quiet my dad got when Mr. Parsons was talking about giving you a million dollars?" "I told you I wasn't going to take his money. I think he just said that in front of you and your father to make me look good to you both." "I don't know about my father, but it sure worked with me. How long do you think they're going to be in Mr. Parsons office?" "I have no idea. I know Mr. Parsons usually has a lot of reports and proposals in there. He sometimes spends all day in there, but not when we have company." "Where can we go where we can talk in private? It has to be someplace that would look innocent if someone comes looking for us. Not upstairs." "I could show you where we had a fire in the garage last night. Hans put it out with a fire extinguisher. There's a window so we could see if anyone was coming. Where's your brother?" "He didn't come. It's just my mother, my dad, and me." I'm going to go out through the kitchen. Why don't you wait a minute, and then use the sliding glass doors in the dining room? Meet me over at the back of the garage and I'll show you where we had the fire." "Suppose they come looking for us?" "I don't know. We'll tell them about the fire too. We probably won't be gone that long. your mom is in the library talking to Mrs. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers. They're all drinking. We could tell Hans and Gerta what we're doing, and they could come get us if anyone needs us." "What will we be doing?" "I've been dying to kiss you again, Brenda, and to hold you. We don't need to do anything you don't want to do." "Go now, Kenny. If we stay in here, I'm going to get in big trouble. I'll wait one minute, then I'll go out the glass door in the dining room." I was already walking towards the kitchen before she stopped talking. I adjusted my dick as I walked, hoping no one in the library happened to look out while I was doing that. When I got to the kitchen, Bea, Gerta and Hans were sitting at the table and playing some kind of card game. Hans and Bea were both drinking some kind of highball. I nodded to them as I walked toward the back of the kitchen towards the door. All three of them started laughing. Bea started talking then. "I told you didn't I? What's it been, fifteen minutes? Kenny, when you come back all of us are going to be smelling your fingers." "You know something, Bea, I've been thinking about going to court and telling the judge how much help you've been to me. I'd hate to think of you leaving Kansas without him knowing how friendly you've been to me." I knew she was teasing me, and I also knew I was teasing her. With the way she thought, she'd worry that I wasn't just teasing. That would keep her from trying to sneak up and catch us doing something. I wasn't sure if we would do anything, but I didn't want things to get ruined in case we were. By the time I left the kitchen and walked into the back yard, Brenda was already at the back door to the garage. I opened the door for her and led her over to the burned part. I told her about how quickly Hans had put the fire out. I took her over to the fuse box and showed her the fuse that had caused the problem. After that, we started kissing, and somehow, my hand was under the bottom of her dress, rubbing her very wet pussy. I put my finger in her, and started moving it around, using my thumb on her pleasure button, just like Bea had taught me to do. I tried to remember to look out the window to see if anyone was coming, but I didn't remember very often. There was a stool in the garage, one of those step ladder stools. Hans used it to wash the tops of the limos and the other cars. I had Brenda sit down on it, and then I got out a cleaning rag from the bucket that Hans used to hold soap and water. After putting the rag on the floor, I got down on my knees and put my head underneath the bottom of her dress. I pulled one of her panty legs aside and started licking her. I could hear her making a lot of noises when I did this, and when I put my finger back in her pussy and started concentrated on sucking all around her clitty, she started making even more noise. I should have gotten worried, because she sounded pretty loud to me. The problem was, the louder she got, the hotter I got to do it to her even more. When she started having an orgasm, she was screaming my name, over and over again, but I still didn't stop. I started shooting right in my pants, but I licked her for awhile longer before I stopped. When I pulled my head out from underneath her dress, Brenda looked dazed. Her eyes weren't focused on anything. I could smell her pussy everywhere. I wiped my face off with the cleaning rag after I stood up. I looked out the window, but still no one was coming. I wondered if they were all deaf. Brenda, you need to go inside and use the bathroom. Use a face cloth to wipe yourself, okay?" She looked at me, but she still wasn't back to normal yet. "Go now. When you get inside, go into the bathroom and wash, okay?" She got up and needed a minute to steady herself. When she walked outside, her legs were a little unsteady. I gave her three minutes by my watch, and then I walked back in through the kitchen. When I came inside, all three of them were still laughing. At least Gerta tried to make the other two be good. I'm sure my face was all red and embarrassed, and I had a big wet stain in the front of my dress pants. "Kenny, I hope it was as good for her out there, as it was for the three of us in here. Did you even try to make her be quiet? Are you going to keep that damn door of yours locked again tonight? Shit, I know you are. I wonder if Bunny would like to take a girl out to a late snack tonight, probably not." I moved past her and swung the kitchen door out so that I could take a look into the library. I didn't see anyone, so I hot footed it over to the staircase, climbing the stairs three at a time. I took a two minute shower, toweled off and put on another pair of black dress slacks. I ran water over the cum stain in my old pair, and did the same for my underpants. The slacks weren't the washable kind, but I had to hope the water wouldn't ruin them for later dry cleaning. One thing was for sure, Bea hadn't spoiled me for other women. Now that I was dressed again, I had a chance to assess how I felt about what had happened. It had been worth it. Even if we had gotten caught, and I was aware that we still might find out that we had been, it was worth it. What we did out in that garage made up for anything that had ever happened to me, and anything that would happen. I made myself a promise. No matter what happened to me from now on, I was through with feeling sorry for myself. I looked over to my bed, and I could picture Brenda laying on it, naked, and ready for me. That was what I was setting as my next big goal. Somehow, I was going to make it happen, just the way I'd pictured it. With the way Brenda reacted, I figured I'd need to make sure the house was empty when I managed to make my goal a reality. I hoped Brenda would be as anxious for me to realize my goal as I was to realize it. When I came back down stairs. Brenda was sitting back where she'd been the first time I'd come down, an hour or so earlier. She looked radiant, the color of her skin setting off the coppery highlights of her hair. I didn't know how I was going to manage to sit close by her, and not feel an overwhelming need to touch her. At dinner, Mrs. Connor, Mr. Chalmers, Mrs. Parsons and Bea were drunk. Hans helped serve the food, and he was unsteady too. It was pretty funny. Mr. Connor and Mr. Parsons were still talking about business. I noticed that Bea had her left hand off the table. Mr. Chalmers started acting funny, so I had a good idea of whose lap her hand was in. Halfway through the dinner, Mr. Chalmers turned towards Mrs. Connor, and whispered something to her. She looked at him funny, then brought her hand back up on the table to take her wine glass in hand. Bea let out one of her unladylike horselaughs. Her hand was still in Mr. Chalmers lap. I looked at Mrs. Parsons and that was the first that I realized that she wasn't really drunk. She was looking at Mrs. Connor and giving her a dirty look. Maybe it was Mr. Chalmers she was looking at too. Brenda and I talked, but only about innocent stuff. We both kept our hands in plain view. I looked up once, and noticed Mr. Connor staring at me as Mr. Parsons was telling him something. Mr. Parsons stopped talking, then Mr. Connor nodded his head yes. After Brenda and her parents left, Mr. Chalmers also left with Bea. When Mr. Parsons went back into his study to get his papers and briefcase, Mrs. Parsons told him that it was silly for him to leave when he was just going to have to drive back the next morning anyway. I waited for them to go to bed, until I realized they were waiting for me to do the same. I said goodnight to them, and went up to my room. It had been a good day, and a great afternoon. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 26 Sunday Morning I got up and got dressed before eight o'clock. When I came downstairs, Gerta was in the kitchen and Hans was working on changing the outlet in the garage. I went out back to see Hans. He was already finished putting in the new outlet, and had replaced the fuse with one that was for the correct amperage. He went and turned on the main power switch and the lights came on and stayed on. After about ten minutes, he went and put his hand on the outlet box, feeling to see if it had gotten warm or not. He smiled, and told me it was as good as new. We turned off the lights in the garage, then he and I drove into Ridgeline to get the condoms, and the snacks and magazines for Jerry. I found the snacks, getting most of what Jerry had asked for, and Hans bought the condoms and the Playboy and Penthouse magazines. I saw him buy a half pint of Smirnoff vodka too. I had told him about Terry's request, but I'd also told Hans I wasn't planning to buy any booze for Terry. Outside the store, Hans handed me his purchases. "I told you I wasn't going to get him the vodka." "Better to give him a little, Kenny. Half a pint isn't too much for a boy your age." "It isn't for me, Hans. I already told you that." "Kenny, you're a good boy. I don't mind helping you. If it isn't for you, that's okay too. Half a pint isn't too much. It will make that other boy feel in your debt, and that is a good thing too. Make sure you tell him not to get caught with it." When we got back to the house, I packed the condoms and the half pint in my dresser in the closet and put the magazines and snacks on the stand near the door. I was downstairs having breakfast at nine thirty, when Mrs. Parsons came into the kitchen and ordered breakfast for her and Mr. Parsons. I took my plate and milk and brought it out to the dining room to eat with them. Since Mr. Parsons just wanted cereal and coffee, Gerta brought it out to him first. Mrs. Parsons had asked for a small cheese and mushroom omelet, and it had sounded good, so I asked her to make it not so small and I'd have some too. Mr. Parsons had moved down closer to where Mrs. Parsons and I were sitting. He fixed his cereal, and then he told me about a change in plans. Instead of playing golf in the morning, all three of us were going to drive over to look at the parcel of land that Mrs. Parsons wanted to use for the golf academy. After we were done, we'd go have lunch, then play, when the course wouldn't be so crowded. "Can Hans drive us? He was interested when I told him about the golf course idea. He might have some good ideas, and I bet he'd like it if we included him." "Kenny, I'm sure Hans has other things he'd like to do on a Sunday. Today is supposed to be a day of rest for him." Mrs. Parsons looked at Mr. Parsons as she spoke. "He was interested. He told me how he used to build things in the backyard when you were younger. He asked me how big it was going to be. He wanted to build it for you and save you some money. I think he'd really like it if you included him. I know I like it that you included me." "Bertie, we can ask him. Let him know he isn't under any obligation to do it, not if he has something else he'd rather to attend to. If you'd prefer, I'll invite him." Mrs. Parsons nodded that she'd prefer that, and Mr. Parsons got up and left the dining room towards the kitchen. He was back in five minutes, telling Mrs. Parsons that Hans wanted to come with us. "Is the parcel you're thinking of the Geltz farm? Hans wondered if that was what you were planning to use." "I don't know who used to own it. Daddy had it when he passed away. Bunny kept another piece in town and gave me this one. He always liked owning land in town, you know that. This land is over on the other side of town, near the big water tanks. There isn't much else that's near it. There's a mile of frontage on the road, and then it goes three quarters of a mile back on one side, and half a mile on the other. It was a whole section at one time, but by the time daddy bought it, a quarter section, and then half of another quarter section, had already been split off and sold by whoever had it. That's why it's only four hundred acres now. There's a nice creek that runs through a big portion of the property. It isn't deep, but it's still a year round source of water. There are trees all along both sides of the creek. It's very pretty, I think." After breakfast, Hans took us out there in the limo. As soon as Mrs. Parsons described where the land was, Hans started shaking his head, and said it was the Geltz farm. He laughed when he said it. "What is so amusing? You don't think it's a suitable place for a golf course?" "No. It is funny because me and Gerta, we own that eighty acres where the burned out farmhouse stood. We bought it from Geltz before your papa bought the rest. That other piece Geltz sold, I know the man who bought it. Another German, Heinz Kleinschmidt, from Bolling. If you are going to develop this land, maybe I give him a call and offer to take it off his hands? Heinz has been trying to get me to buy it for twenty years, maybe more. This land would get more valuable if you built out there on your part. Last night, I told Gerta it was probably the Geltz farm you were thinking about doing this golf course at. That land has been sitting for almost thirty years." "How much is Mr. Kleinschmidt asking for his land?" Mrs. Parsons was trying to ask her question casually, like she was only a little bit interested. Hans smiled, and just looked at her. "I'm asking because if it is more than you can comfortably afford, perhaps we could assist you?" "He wants one hundred thousand dollars, but I have enough with the terms he is offering. With Heinz, you have to be careful. If he suspects I want to buy the land, he'll raise the price. I'll go over and see him next week at his delicatessen. Gerta wants some brats and salami anyway. If he brings it up again, I'll offer to sell him mine for fifty thousand, like I always do. I'll try to get him to come down to ninety thousand by offering him half the money down. Before, he wanted twenty five per cent down. For fifty per cent down, he might come down to ninety thousand. If he does, I'll buy it for ninety thousand dollars." "Hans, why would you want to buy that land?" "Because it will be worth much more if you decide to go ahead and develop your land. Even if I did nothing with that land, it's value will go up because of what you will be doing nearby." Hans smiled, and opened the door for us to get into the limo. After we were in, he closed our door and went around to the driver's door. "Bertie, don't you find it unusual to be discussing land purchases with our servants?" "Unusual? Yes, I suppose it is unusual. I really don't think of Hans and Gerta as servants though. They've lived with us ever since I was a little girl. They are more like an aunt and uncle to me. Bunny drew up a will for them, this was at least fifteen years ago. He told me that I was to be the executrix of their estate. At Hans and Gerta's request, he gave me a copy of their will to safeguard for them. I found out that they each left everything to the other, and, with the passing of the survivor, I was the only named beneficiary for each of them. That struck me as unusual, so I asked him some questions about it. When I asked him if there was enough there to bother with them even writing out a will, he laughed, then asked me if half a million dollars was worth bothering with. Their having so much amazed me. When you think about it though, they have no real expenses, so everything they make is available for savings or investments." "I find this a little astonishing Bertie. I had no idea. Fifteen years ago, you say? They're probably worth more than a million by now, which I find incredible. Kenny, thank you for suggesting that we bring Hans with us. Now I know who to hit up for a loan if I should ever need one." When we got to the place where the land was, Hans knew a lot more about it than Mrs. Parsons did. He pointed out the tree line as it curved around and cut back towards the back end of the property. He knew quite a lot about the creek and about where the irrigation wells were on the property. After he showed us the back end of the land, he turned the limo around and took us back about half a mile or more. He stopped the car and opened the back door to let us get out. We walked for about two tenths of a mile, before we came to a two or three acre pond. Hans pointed to the pond, and to the area right behind it, as the place to put up any buildings. When I looked at the land, all I saw was flat land with some trees. The golf course at the country club was pretty, and it wasn't as flat looking at the land we were standing on. I liked the water being there, but it didn't look anything like a golf course. For one thing, the ground was patchy, and there were signs of small animals all around where the pond was. Rabbits and some squirrels primarily, but there were gopher holes around as well. "Bertie, you need to order up some aerial views of the land. You'll be able to see things a lot better that way. It's only a few hundred dollars, and it will save you a lot of trudging all over to point out where everything should go. If you'd like, I can commission someone to come down and take the necessary photos. There's a company in Topeka that I know about. They should be able to handle something like this easily and quickly." We stopped off at the Ridgeline Diner for their Sunday Fish Fry. I'd never been there before, but I really liked the fish and all the different sauces they had to dip them into. Hans came into the diner with us, but he sat at a different table. I thought this was pretty strange because we were sitting in a booth, and had more than enough room for him to sit with us. Mr. and Mrs. Parsons started talking about costs and income projections. At first, I thought he was going to spoil everything when he corrected her in all of the assumptions she was making. She said that she thought a million dollars should cover the cost of building two championship golf courses, and four separate practice ranges. Mr. Parsons estimated it would cost five million, at least. She thought they could build a lodge big enough to house two hundred guests for three million dollars, he said it would cost from eight to ten million, depending on whether they put in a bar and a restaurant or not. When they started discussing the income they expected, they reversed sides again, with Mrs. Parsons estimating too high and Mr. Parsons projecting too low. I could see that Mrs. Parsons started thinking that Mr. Parsons was just trying to discourage her. "Thomas, if you don't believe this will be a success, just tell me, and I'll have Bunny look it over." "Bertie, it isn't that I don't believe in your idea, I'm just trying to be realistic about profits and cash flow, when compared to costs and expenses. For you to assume full occupancy and full capacity students right away, that's simply unrealistic. Suppose we each put in ten million? If it turns out it costs us less, all well and good. If we wind up spending more, we'll need to adjust my equity position downward, because I won't be in a position to meet any additional cash assessments. Any money left from the original capitalization we use for advertising and operating expenses until we reach break even." "You would put up ten million?" "Yes." "Because you believe in my idea?" "No, because you believe in it, Bertie. I'll help with the things I can provide good counsel or experience for. The golfing portion of the project will be all on you. What about Bunny? He could be an immense help to us. He has the legal expertise, and no one is sharper on vetting contracts than he is." "I've thought of Bunny too. We should speak with him about it, but as an adviser, not an investor. You are firm in making this offer to me?" "I can deposit the funds for immediate escrow. Have Bunny draw up an agreement for us." "This partnership will have nothing to do with our pending change in marital status?" "Bertie, this is business. Just because one partnership is dissolving, there's no reason why we can't enter into another. This time it will be on equal footing. That isn't to say that I'm resigned to the notion that divorce is our best option. I'm not. I wish you'd look into some other solution. I enjoy being married to you." "I could never forgive your tryst with Bea. I've thought about almost nothing but that for these past three months. I just can't forgive it. It was too large an affront for me to tolerate. It might not have been so unpardonable if it had taken place outside our home." "I've already admitted to you that it was unforgivable. I've apologized to you repeatedly. I expect you to be angry with me for some time to come. I don't believe it necessarily has to mean the end of our marriage." "This is what I can't understand. Why is our staying married important to you now? I could understand it if the company were still in the family, but it isn't. We've both agreed that you have what you started out trying to get. What more reason can you have to oppose our divorce?" "We've fit well together for more than twenty years. Not in the romantic sense perhaps, but socially, and in most other ways." "That isn't enough for me anymore, Thomas. It shouldn't have ever been enough. I talked myself into believing that you would come to love me someday. I know it wasn't part of our agreement, but it was part of my reason for marrying you in the first place." "Bertie, I agree to making this partnership totally independent of whatever changes that occur in our marital status." "You'll sign the divorce papers?" "Reluctantly, but yes. If you're sure that is what you wish from me." "It's too late for wishes, Thomas. I'm trying to look forward now, not backward. You and I will enter a business arrangement again. This time though, we'll both know it for exactly what it is." "It wasn't always all business. You make it seem like we never had any fun together." "We should leave if we're going to get in eighteen today." I spoke up because I was already worried, and starting to get restless about the direction their conversation was taking. Neither of them seemed to make it easy on the other. The longer they discussed their divorce, the likelier it was that their emotions would make them unable to agree on anything positive like the golf learning center. I knew I'd much rather be playing golf, than sitting there in the diner, listening to them going over the reasons for their divorce. "Kenny's right, Bertie, it's too nice a day to be spent with the two of us arguing. Shall we go to the club and play some golf?" Mr. Parsons stood up and held his hand out for Mrs. Parsons to grab on to when she also stood up. We all went over to the small table where Hans was sitting, and I saw Mr. Parsons pick up the lunch check from Hans table. He took them both to the cashier and paid. Afterwards, he went back and put a two dollar tip at the small table, and a five dollar tip at our booth. We got to the club before one o'clock and were second up behind a twosome made up of an older man that Mr. Parsons seemed to know, and a younger man, very probably his son, going by the similarities of their facial features. When we got ready to tee off, Mr. Parsons and I were at the white tees, and Mrs. Parsons was going to play from the red ladies tees. "Kenny, do you want to do anything before we start?" "No, that's okay, I went at the diner." "I meant do you care to wager on the outcome of today's match?" "I don't think so. You play a lot better than I do." "Suppose I give you six strokes a side then? We could play a ten dollar Nassau perhaps, just to make it interesting." "I don't know how to play a Nassau." "It goes hole by hole. You get a one stroke advantage on the most difficult six holes on the front and the same on the back. Whoever wins the most holes on the front nine, the back nine, and the overall eighteen, will win ten dollars for each. The most you can lose is thirty dollars. Of course, you might win thirty dollars too." "That's a lot of money, thirty dollars. Besides, I usually score a lot worse from the white tees. I'd do it if you let me play from the ladies tees." "Yes, I'm sure you would. I'll give you eight strokes a side, Kenny, for the same bet." "Kenny, if he gives you eight strokes a side, you should take his money." Mrs. Parsons was laughing, apparently deciding to be in a good mood again. "Thomas, I'll make a separate bet with you for a $50.00 Nassau, and I'll give you three strokes a side, and I'll cover Kenny's wager, at eight a side, for as much as you care to bet." "Bertie, play from the white tees, and I'll play you even up, for a $100.00 Nassau, or we can all play from the red." If we all play from the red, you'll still give Kenny the eight a side?" "Yes. For how much?" "One hundred dollar Nassau for each of us. No presses though." Mr. Parsons stuck out his hand and they shook on it. It was all in good humor, or it seemed that way to me at the time. By the time we all got finished playing that afternoon, I felt like I'd been put through an emotional wringer. It wasn't the money either, it was the high level of concentration and determination that each of them showed. I made seven pars and six bogeys. Of the remaining five holes, four were double bogeys, and one was a quadruple bogey. My final score was an 89. Mrs. Parsons shot a 70, and Mr. Parsons made an 80. He had eleven pars, one birdy, five bogey's and one double bogey. Mrs. Parsons had three birdy's and one bogey. I won the front nine and the eighteen, but Mr. Parsons and I tied on the back nine. Mrs. Parsons won everything from Mr. Parsons on their wager. He was a good sport for just having lost five hundred dollars. He should have won too, except for his putting on the front nine. Four of his five bogeys and the double came on the front. He started the back nine with the birdy, and made par every other hole, except the eighteenth, when he missed a three foot par putt. He paid Mrs. Parsons all of the money, but she handed me two hundred dollars, just as soon as he paid her. After dinner at the house, Mr. Parsons went into his study to pack up the papers he had brought home with him. It was almost eight o'clock. I was sitting in the living room all packed up with the things I was bringing with me to the school. I was waiting for Hans to finish doing something, then he was going to drive me back. Mrs. Parsons had gone upstairs to do something, but she hadn't told either of us goodbye, so I was expecting her to come back down again. When she did come down, she was dressed in her robe. Mr. Parsons came out of his study and put his briefcase over by some clothes he had packed from his room earlier. These were clothes he'd left behind earlier, which he was now taking with him. "Bertie, I'll be leaving now. Thank you for inviting me over. Kenny, I'm glad you're settling in at the school. Let me know if you should need anything. Don't spend all that money either, because I'm planning on winning it back soon." "Why don't you fix us both a drink, Thomas? We have some things we need to discuss after Kenny leaves." Hans picked that time to come out of the kitchen, ready to drive me back to the school. I saw Mr. Parsons smile, and then he went into the bar in the library. "Kenny, I hope you had a good visit? We both enjoyed having you here. I'm a little surprised that you seem to be developing this personal rapport with Mr. Parsons. Surprised, but in no way displeased. Somehow, my seeing that the two of you seem to like each other now, gives me some hope that change is possible." "I really wish you would slow down on the idea of getting divorced. I think he is trying to change. Maybe he is finally learning to love you." "I don't expect anything as dramatic as that. But, you're right about my not needing to hurry. It isn't as though I'm going to rush out to remarry anytime soon." "Are you going to let him stay here tonight?" "If it gets late, and if he's been drinking, I suppose I might. We're still married after all. It isn't like anyone would be talking about us if I did." "No. Besides, it will give you more time to talk about the learning center idea." "Yes. Very well Kenny. Give me a big hug and off to school you go. Shall I plan on you coming home next weekend?" "Yes. Bea's leaving after that, and I wanted to tell her goodbye before she goes. Plus, I'd like us to play more golf. do you think Mr. Parsons would play us another Nassau like today? It was fun winning all that money from him." I saw Mr. Parsons coming out of the library, carrying two drinks. He was only ten feet behind Mrs. Parsons when I asked that question. He stopped moving to see what she'd answer. "I think he'd want to adjust the handicaps if he agreed to play us again." I smiled, knowing that Mr. Parsons would probably agree to play her the same way any day, just like he had today. If he was willing to give me a million dollars to prevent her divorcing him, he'd probably be willing to lose that much to her as well. Even at five hundred dollars per round, it would take a long time to lose one million dollars. "You're wrong about that, Bertie. If I can ever get my putter working even halfway decently, I'll make a fortune hustling the two of you. I should have won at least five of those holes I handed to you today. Kenny, he might prove a tougher nut to crack, because eight a side is too many to give to an improving golfer. Still, if you'll continue our wager, I'll continue his." "We'll see, Thomas. Let me see how other matters resolve themselves. I'm not adverse to picking up some easy money out on the course. With the golf academy construction costs, especially if your estimate proves more correct than mine, I'll need a lot of income if I'm to avoid drawing down on my principle." Mrs. Parsons had turned so that she was facing her husband. as she reached out to take the drink he was offering her, I noticed that her robe came a little bit opened at the top. I couldn't see it, but it looked like Mr. Parsons was being given a little naughty peek at her breasts, at least the top of one of them. I didn't need to talk to Bea to know that this had been an intentional act on her part. As Hans and I walked out to Mrs. Parsons car, for the trip back to Clement Academy, I felt pretty certain that Mr. Parsons would be spending the night in his bedroom suite, and at least some part of it in Mrs. Parsons bedroom. We were halfway to the school before I remembered that I hadn't phoned Brenda. By the time I got into my room and then back out to the hallway pay phone, it was eight thirty five. I dialed Brenda's number, and put in the first quarter. Richard answered the phone, and, after he recognized my voice, he pretended that no one was on the other end of the call. When he hung up, I put another quarter in and dialed again. This time he answered again, but he didn't try to pull the same trick on me. He called Brenda's name and then put the receiver down by banging it against wherever he decided to place it. "Hello?" "Hi. Your brother is a big jerk." "Yes. What did he do? Was that you that called just a minute ago too?" "Yes, and he pretended to not be able to hear me and hung up. It cost me a quarter. Tell him I don't appreciate him doing things like that." "He won't care. It will just encourage him, if I let him know it bothered you." "I really was happy to see you yesterday. I miss you right now." "I thought you'd call me today, Kenny. I stayed home waiting for you to." "We were out all day. Besides, I wanted to have a chance to talk to you before I go to bed." "My dad is staying close to the phone right now." "So you don't want to talk about anything personal?" "Yes, that's right." "Can he hear what you're saying?" "Yes. I'm looking forward to that too." "Did you like it when I licked your kitty?" "Couldn't you tell?" "I thought you did, but you never said." "It surprised me, but I was sure you knew without me telling you." "You tasted so good. I sure hope we can do that again, soon." "Hold on, let me ask my dad." She put the phone away from her face then, and I heard her shout out at her father. "Daddy, can Kenny take me to the movies next weekend?" "Over my dead body." Mr. Connor yelled that loud enough, I might have been able to hear it even without the phone. I heard Brenda giggling, and then she got back on the phone. "I think he needs to think it over first, Kenny. Can I let you know later?" "Ask him if I can come over to your house to see you then." "I already know what he's going to say, but I'll ask him. Daddy, Kenny wants to know if he can come over here to see me?" I heard her gasp, and then yell out "Daddy! Give me that phone back." "Kenny, this is Walt Connor. I'm not going to play games with you, boy. I really don't want you anywhere near my little girl. Do we have that straight now? You stay away from her. If you don't, there's going to be trouble." "Mr. Connor, I really like Brenda." "No shit? I guess you like her. You better get used to the idea of going out and finding someone else's daughter to like, because mine isn't available to you, and I don't care how much that ends up costing me. You got that? I don't care." Then, he hung up on me too. I didn't try to put more money in for another phone call. I went back to the apartment, and then went into my bedroom to get everybody's stuff. I gave Terry his half pint and his change. At first, he started giving me a hard time about how little I got him, but, after I told him it was the best I could do, and I'd buy it back if he didn't want it, he thanked me for getting him any at all. Jerry promised to pay me for his stuff, right before grabbing it all from me and running into his room with it. Nigel was off somewhere visiting another apartment, so I kept his condoms in my room until he returned. Nigel came in half an hour before lights out, and when I gave him his package along with the change, he thanked me profusely. Half an hour after lights out, I heard noises coming out of Terry's room, and that was when I found out that Nigel and Terry had something going on as far as a sex relationship. I admit it surprised me. I hadn't given it any thought, but if I had, I would have guessed Jerry and Nigel. Thursday night, that guess proved right also, because I heard the two of them in Jerry's room. I'm not sure why it didn't bother me more, but it just didn't. It wasn't any of my business, not as long as they didn't try to get me involved with any of that. Friday, before I left to go home, five guys who weren't in my apartment asked me to bring things back for them. I turned all of them down, explaining I didn't want to end up being some kind of delivery boy for the school. Of course, all of them could get the legal things they wanted for themselves in Holton. They mostly wanted booze, cigarettes and marijuana from me. Jerry had a whole list of things he wanted me to get for him, but I refused him too. Part of the reason I refused was because he didn't have the money for these items either, and the rest of it was because he handed me this long list just as though he thought I had some obligation to do it for him. Half an hour before Hans came to get me, Nigel gave me forty dollars and Jerry's list, asking me to get Jerry's stuff for him. He told me that Jerry's mother never sent him any spending money, even though she had plenty that she could have sent. Terry didn't ask me to bring him anything, and I didn't go up to him and ask. When he came in with my weekend pass, I saw that he had one for himself as well. He told me his 'aunt' was coming to pick him up for the weekend. I found out later that his 'aunt' was one of about fifty prostitutes his father had working for him. His father really did own a few dry cleaning stores, just like Terry said he did. He also had a few other businesses too. Over the next two years, Jerry got picked up by at least two dozen different 'aunts', and taken away for a weekend of carnal amusement. Nigel and I became pretty good friends during that first month at Clement Academy. He always tried to make it seem like he was happy with his life, but even though he had a ready supply of people willing to have sex with him, he had almost no real friends. He was allowed to call his parents in New York only once a month, unless there was some emergency. I found out that Nigel had two younger brothers, and that his parents kept Nigel away from them for fear that he'd, somehow, corrupt them into experimenting with the gay lifestyle. In spite of this, Nigel worked hard in school, keeping his grades high, in some, totally unrealistic, hope that his parents would manage to find some miraculous acceptance of his sexual orientation, and then bring him back home to live with them again. Several times I tried to get Nigel to ask his parents for permission to come home with me on weekends, but he would never do it. When I questioned him about his reasons, he'd never give me a serious answer. I think he was afraid to see an orphan accepted better than his own, real, parents treated him. Friday, as soon as I got home, I asked Mrs. Parsons if Mr. Parsons was coming. All she would say was that she had told him he'd be welcome. At dinner, I told her about my conversation with Mr. Connor. She listened, and then told me that it was up to Brenda and her mother to convince Mr. Connor that he shouldn't blame only me for what had happened. When I asked about Bea, Mrs. Parsons told me that she had gone somewhere with Mr. Chalmers, and neither of them had informed her of what their plans might be. I already knew that Bea was going to court on Monday morning, and was planning on flying to California on Monday evening. I hoped she wasn't going to be gone the whole time I was home for the weekend, because I really did want to tell her goodbye, and, to thank her again for the sex lessons, and for being my friend. At nine thirty, Mr. Parsons got home. He told us that he had missed his connection out of New York, and had needed to take a limo over to Newark to catch another flight into Chicago. By the time he got into Chicago, all connecting flights had left, so he had needed to charter a plane into Bolling. He looked tired, but I was glad that he'd made such an effort to get back to the house as soon as he did. I hoped Mrs. Parsons appreciated that too. "Thomas, I thought you had straightened Walt Connor out where Kenny was concerned. Didn't you assure me that Walt had agreed to let bygones be bygones?" "Bertie, why don't you just tell me what happened, before you start being angry with me?" "Walt told Kenny to leave Brenda alone. He said she wasn't available to Kenny, and that he didn't care how much that might cost him." "The man is a father, Bertie. I'm sure he's only trying to protect her. It was probably just an honest reaction from a concerned parent. Do we really want to punish him for caring more about Brenda's welfare than he does about his business profits?" "No, of course not." She paused, and gave Mr. Parsons what I can only describe as a meaningful look. "It isn't punishment to refuse to associate with someone, someone who first makes it plain that he doesn't wish to associate with you. Associating with us, or in this case, with you, has to mean associating with Kenny as well. I thought we'd agreed on that?" "We did agree, and I explained all that to Walt. Now that Walt has made his choice known to us, we can either accept it or strike back at him, using our business relationship. I would have preferred that he went along with our request, but now that he hasn't, I'm not sure I have the stomach to ruin the man, and his entire family, because of it." "Have the new contracts been approved and signed?" "No. That's simply a formality. We've agreed on amounts and terms. We shook hands on it." "The same as you shook hands on the matter concerning Walt's acceptance of Kenny as a member of our family?" "I'm not going to hold that over his head, I'm sorry. I don't do business that way. He made his decision, and I respect him for it. I'll agree to stop associating with his family socially, because I'm upset also that he's gone back on his promise. I'm feeling the need to honor the contract that we've already agreed to." "Once again you're putting business interests in front of family interests. I'm not going to sit back and allow it to happen again, not this time. I seldom interfere with your business matters, Thomas. You know that. Walt has gone back on his word, and he's insulted all of us by doing so. Perhaps, since you admire Walt's principles so much, you'll make the same decision Walt did, and sever our business and personal relationship?" "Is that what it's going to come to with us? Either I give in to your every demand or else you threaten to derail us again?" "We never had any agreement about us, Thomas. I simply took your willingness to stand up to Walt, on Kenny's behalf, as a sign that you were beginning to value having a family. It seems I was mistaken, once again." "Bertie, why do you insist on this overkill? Walt already knows how vulnerable his actions have made him. I made that clear to him when we spoke. Some people can't be controlled through fear of loss." "Would that describe you as well, Thomas? Are you not able to be moved by threat of loss?" "Moved? Yes, I can be moved, but never trampled over. You know you can have what you want, as long as you can be patient and let it happen my way. If you force me to make a choice, it might just turn out that I'll have to come down on Walt's side this time. If that happens, who wins?" "We did have an agreement, about Walt, and about Kenny. You told me that you had an agreement with Walt about this. If Walt's not living up to his agreement, that automatically means that you can't live up to yours. If that's the case, then something has to change. I've told you my suggestion about what needs to be done. If you have some different proposal to offer, go ahead and state it to me. Failing that, it would seem that you already chosen to come down on Walt's side." "You demand I ruin Walt then?" "No. I demand you get Walt to honor his part of our agreement. Failing that, yes, ruin him. He has no right to get our support, not when he goes against his own promises. He is the one at fault when he refuses to comply with his part of that agreement with us." "What does he need to do to demonstrate his compliance with this agreement?" "He can bring Brenda here tomorrow, and then apologize to Kenny. That would make a good beginning." "If I ask him for that, he'll tell me where I can shove that contract. You know Walt. Direct confrontation doesn't work on him. He has a football player's straight ahead mentality. That method can't help but fail. Suppose I got him to agree to allow Brenda and Georgia to come over here tomorrow, to discuss Kenny and Brenda's future relationship limits?" "Georgia isn't the problem Thomas, it's Walt. Since you are in the mood for a compromise, how about this? You told me that Walt's contract with the company has expired, correct?" "His agreement with us did expire, but we've been ordering our requirements a month in advance, until after the merger, so that we could make new supplier agreements if it became necessary. Last week, we agreed on the terms for a new, long term contract." "Call him in the morning and tell him something has come up, and that Consolidated has asked you to hold off on any new supplier contracts. Don't even mention Kenny. Can you do that?" "I wouldn't even need to lie to tell him that. We are in the process of that new acquisition. They would actually prefer to maintain the current supplier situation until after all of our needs are known. Walt already knows that our needs will be greatly expanded now. As soon as I tell him that, he's going to ask me if it has anything to do with this situation between Kenny and Brenda. What do I tell him when he asks?" "Tell him whatever you like. Just as long as he knows that we don't hold our agreements with him any more sacred than he holds his with us. My father would have told him to go spit in his hat, you know he would have." "Bertie, I'm not your father, but, yes, he would have. In fact, your father would have happily seen personally to Walt's being ruined." "Yes, he would have. What I fail to understand, especially since Daddy told me several times that he admired your cold ruthlessness, is why I have to urge you to doing what is obviously necessary. In you, he felt like he'd met a worthy replacement. Bunny could never satisfy him in that regard." "So, if I tell Walt that the contract is being held up by Consolidated, that will be enough for you?" "For now, but only if that proves to have the desired effect in altering his attitude towards Kenny." "What about you, Kenny? What's your take on all of this?" I had been paying attention to what was being said, but I didn't think they wanted me butting into their conversation. Now that he'd asked me though, I had to tell them something. "I wish he wasn't so mad at me, but I guess I don't really blame him for being mad. I wouldn't want you to do anything to make his business bad, or to make Brenda and her mother poor. I never knew you made him say he wouldn't be mad at me though. Did you threaten him to get him to agree?" "No, just the opposite. I offered him a bribe. A very large bribe too. Like most people, Walt is highly susceptible to the prospect of making more money. I did tell him that restoring normal, friendly, relations with you was a necessary prerequisite to our continued business and personal relationships." "He agreed that he would? Be friendly to me?" "He said he understood what I meant, and then when I told him it was all part and parcel of the relationship we enjoyed, he nodded his understanding. There isn't any doubt that his speaking to you as he did on the phone, violated both the spirit and the letter of our understanding. He knew there would be consequences." "I'm not sure it's right to use business to make him agree to the other. I mean, you wouldn't like it if someone said you had to be his friend if you wanted to keep doing business with him. At least, I don't think you'd like it." "No, certainly not if he put it like that. However, if someone said he only does business with friends, I would see nothing wrong with my attempting to become his friend." "I think it's just me he doesn't want to be friends with, not the rest of you." Mrs. Parsons moved closer, and then she put an arm around my shoulder and squeezed me close to her. "Kenny, part of what we're attempting here is to heal the breach between our two families. It isn't just between you and Mr. Connor. We are all involved. That is part of being a family. You aren't alone in your fights. We support each other. We are willing to forgo their friendship in the event they can't arrive at an accommodation with you. By talking to you as he did, Mr. Connor told us that his family is willing to forgo our friendship. Unlike Thomas, I don't see this as punishment or retribution. I see it more as us withdrawing our continued support to the Connor family. We aided them in the past, sometimes, at some cost in lost profits to ourselves. That is what friends do for their friends. For an alliance like that to last and prosper, there has to be a reciprocal willingness to sacrifice. Walt hasn't reciprocated." "Walt has been a dependable supplier, one who lives by his obligations." "It isn't his shortcomings as a supplier that we're dealing with though, is it? How many times have we had to intercede on their behalf socially, or financially, either Bunny, or you and me? Didn't Bunny go to the bank when Walt had that trouble, and arrange to restructure their debts? Didn't I just call in favors owed to me at the club to get that horrid Richard's suspension waived, to get him reinstated? It isn't as if we're asking for anything more than simple justice from them. Georgia knows the truth about what happened that day at the club. She has had every opportunity to get Walt straightened out before now. I'm as angry with her as I am with Walt. Walt at least has some reason behind his actions towards Kenny." "I'll call him in the morning, Bertie. I can see your point, and I'm disappointed in Walt's response the same as you are. I just believe there is an easier way to gain Walt's compliance, one that won't leave years of resentment and bitterness in it's wake. Your request, given the circumstances now, is a reasonable compromise, and I'm sure Walt will understand that the next move has to be his." I got up at eight thirty, happy to have a chance to sleep late. After breakfast, at nine, Mrs. Parsons told me that Mr. Parsons wanted to see me in his study. I went there and knocked on his door. "Come in Kenny. Have a seat." I opened the door and sat down. "Tell me briefly what you learned from Bertie and I last night." "Never to get her mad at me?" He smiled, but only with his mouth. "Anything else?" "She doesn't like not getting her way?" "Think, Kenny. What did you notice about her approach to problem solving?" "I don't know. It's different than the way she plays golf though. She plays golf carefully, taking what each hole gives her. When she gets mad, she seems to be willing to risk more, to take bigger chances. She and I had a big problem once, pretty much because I didn't do what she told me to." "Were you right, or was she?" "I don't know. She wanted me to go along with something I had already told her I didn't want to do. Gerta told me later that I owed her more loyalty, she said I should have gone along with it." "I'm asking you what you think, Kenny. Were you right or was she?" "I was right for me. I don't know if she was right for her or not. I didn't want her making me do what she wanted, not after I told her I didn't want to do it." "Did she threaten you, spell out the consequences if you failed to do what she asked?" "She told me it was an important decision I was making, and that I needed to consider the consequences before I did it." "Did you do what she asked? Did you weigh those consequences carefully?" "Yes, but I had already decided. All I did was decide if I was willing to go back to the orphanage, rather than do what she wanted me to do. I guess I was." "With Bertie, you will have numerous opportunities to make those kinds of choices. I have found, it is usually preferable to back away from these confrontations with her, because there are seldom any winners. This is what I'm doing today. Bertie told me of the conversation you had with her about the two of you not being able to give up. I don't see this as me giving up, but I can see how you would view it that way. To me, this is a case of my trying to pay a lesser price in order to appease Bertie. If it becomes necessary, I will do what Bertie wants me to do with Walt. I'm trying to see that it doesn't come to that. Not for Walt's sake, and not for the rest of the Connor family either, but for Bertie's sake. If I did what she originally requested, she would have agonized over the impact on Georgia and Brenda, and that would have sent her into one of her emotional tailspins." "So, what are you going to do to prevent that?" As I asked that, Mr. Parsons held up his hand for me to be quiet and then he dialed Mr. Connor's home number. "Listen, Kenny. I don't want this conversation getting back to Bertie either. You can discuss what you and I spoke of, but not what Walt and I talk about. Understood?" "Yes sir." "Hi Georgia, Tom Parsons. Is he there? Good, put him on for me, please. Hi Walt. I guess you like being way up there on that skinny tightrope without any safety net. I've been getting an earful ever since I got back from New York. I don't get that much time off Walt, and I'm damned if I want to spend the little bit I do get trying to defend your actions to my wife. Tell me your side of it before I tell you my bad news." There was a pause of about three or four minutes. I could hear some noise coming out of the receiver, but I couldn't understand anything that Mr. Connor was saying. Finally, Mr. Connor stopped talking I guess. Mr. Parsons started talking to him again. "I can appreciate that Walt. I have a temper too. In fact, I would probably feel the same way you do in your shoes. I don't know if I could walk away from all the money that you're about to walk away from though. How pissed off do you need to be to say goodbye to a thirty million dollar contract? That's what you're doing my friend. We had an agreement, and you've decided you don't have to live up to your end of it." There was a pause where I figured Mr. Connor was saying something. "Walt that's important to you, not to me. You told Kenny that you didn't care what it cost you. I've known you and your whole family a long time Walt. Whenever you needed us, we were there for you. I didn't force that agreement on you, and I'm not forcing you to remain my friend either. You can't pick and choose among us, Walt. You're either friends with all of us, or friends with none of us. Bertie reminded me of something last night, from back when Senior Chalmers was alive. She told me that if you'd tried to pull something like this on him, he'd have personally seen to it that you were ruined. This is bottom line now, Walt. If you screw with me over this Kenny thing, I won't rest until you and your whole family are out begging in the streets. You just think about that for a while, then you let me know whether you're starting to care about how much it costs you or not." Mr. Parsons hung up the phone and sat there looking my way, but not really seeing me. I knew he was thinking about something, but I didn't know what it was. He stayed like that for about five minutes, until I was starting to get worried about him. I saw him give himself a little shake, and then he was back from wherever he'd gone. "What do you think? You think he got my message? I thought about this for a long time last night. Bertie is right. Walt has had it too good from all of us, for way too long, to be suddenly trying to pull this crap on us now. I'll be honest that this type of confrontation isn't what I'm comfortable with. I much prefer to massage a situation, to convince people to move closer to my point of view. Sometimes though, sometimes, you have to grab the recalcitrant bastards right by their necks, and bang their heads against the wall until they open up their eyes, and appreciate the brighter light of your reasoning. Walt might not come around to my way of thinking this time, but if he doesn't, he can't say he didn't know what was going to happen to him if he didn't. Kenny, none of this really had anything to do with you or Brenda. That was simply the convenient excuse. This has been coming on for the past eight or ten years. Your situation just brought it to a head for us." "Are you going to do what you said? If Mr. Connor doesn't do what you told him to?" "Absolutely. I'll ruin him. If he defies me, I'll have to do it. This is why I don't want you to discuss this phone conversation with Bertie. If I have to follow through, I'll make up another reason why I did it. I won't have Bertie feeling guilty about doing something that needed doing. My guess is that Georgia will be calling over here soon, trying to find out whether you'll be at the club sometime today. Walt never did have the stomach for a real fight. He was a big man in high school, but he never worked hard at anything in his life. His toughness is all a pose. Walt is all talk and bluster, but talking about being poor and being poor aren't the same thing. Georgia knows the difference, and she'll make Walt understand. Remember not to take advantage when they give up, Kenny. That's very bad form. Be gracious in victory, and in defeat. Never trust Walt after today though. I know I won't. Mrs. Connor called after twelve thirty. She and Mrs. Parsons spoke for half an hour. After she got off the phone, we drove over to the country club and played a round of golf. Brenda drove my cart, and we had a nice time together. I didn't try to kiss her or touch her at all. I wanted to, but I remembered what Mr. Parsons had told me about being gracious. I felt bad for Mr. Connor. I remembered what Mr. Parsons told me about never trusting him after this either. I added Richard's name to that list as well. Brenda seemed confused when all I wanted to do was talk to her. I don't know what her mother had told her before coming out to the golf course, but Brenda acted as if she was ready to follow my lead about anything. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 27 Mr. Chalmers and Bea were sitting in the living room talking to Mr. Parsons when Mrs. Parsons and I got back from the club, at around six. All three of them had drinks in their hand. Dinner was at six thirty, Gerta told us, then she went and made a drink for Mrs. Parsons. I was glad to see Bea. I knew she was leaving the next day, and I wanted to have a chance to tell her goodbye before she left. "So, Kenny, how's that fancy school you're going to? Bunny says there are no girls allowed within twenty miles. Is that true?" Bea was sitting on one of the sofas next to Mr. Chalmers, and I had gone over to sit on the other side of her. As soon as I sat down, Bea put a hand on my knee. Her other hand was already on Mr. Chalmers knee. "No, there are three women who work at the school, and plenty more who live in Holton." "Any of the three at the school, lookers?" "I only saw the one in the kitchen and the lady in the office. The laundry lady I haven't met yet. The lady in the office is Gerta's age, and the kitchen lady is older too. Terry said the laundry lady is the youngest of the three. He said she's about forty." "That's too bad for you then, Kenny. Be careful that you don't fall into bad habits with some of those other boys." "Bea, that's not appropriate." Mr. Chalmers spoke to her quietly, but I could still hear what he said to her. "Bunny, you know he should be warned about things like that. At his age, it's bound to come up. He should be aware of the danger. In fact, I know it comes up." Bea started laughing loudly, and that is when I realized that she had been drinking quite a bit. She acted as if she was trying to have a good time, but it almost seemed like she was making an effort not to cry at the same time. Bea was always cracking jokes and teasing people, but I started thinking that she wasn't as happy about leaving all of us as she was always saying she would be. "I'm going to miss you, Bea. I hope you have a good visit out in California, but I'm also hoping you'll come back home when you get done with visiting there." Bea stood up, a little bit unsteady on her feet. I saw her eyes were already wet, and she was beginning to cry. She took off towards her room, walking fast, with her head bent down. "Kenny, let her have a few moments to regain her composure. She's been this way all weekend I'm afraid. At times, I forget how young she really is. I've told her many times that she doesn't have to go to California. I can get her some work right here in town, and help her get situated in a nice apartment. She insists that she really wants to leave." Mr. Chalmers seemed sad when he spoke. I wondered if he wasn't hoping that Bea would decide to stay to be his regular girlfriend. "Bunny, you know this would be an impossible situation. People have already started talking about the two of you. She's too young for you, and you come from such different backgrounds." "Don't be ridiculous, Bertie. I have no designs on Bea. At least none that incorporate any permanent attachment. I hoped to aid her in some small way, and to prevent her from going back to a lifestyle that would preclude her from being ultimately happy or successful." "You can't save people if they choose not to be saved. Bea chooses to pursue her own path. We have to respect her choice, even if we don't understand how she could choose it." Mrs. Parsons spoke softly, as she tried to console her brother. Anyone who knew Mr. Chalmers at all, knew that he was really stuck on Bea. If he hadn't been, he wouldn't have taken her to Hawaii, or taken her out for the last weekend together either. For people like Mr. Chalmers, being seen out socially with a girl like Bea would be an embarrassment. Bea was really good at sex though, and that was probably why he felt bad about seeing her leave. Bea came out of her room to eat with us. There wasn't really that much talking at dinner. Mostly, Mr. and Mrs. Parsons were talking about their plans for the golfing center, and Mrs. Parsons was telling Mr. Parsons that she was certain that the Connor family were planning on living up to their agreements concerning me. After dinner, Mr. Chalmers left. Bea walked him out to his car, and stayed outside in the parking circle for about half an hour, before he finally drove away. I was in the library watching television at seven thirty, when Bea came back inside again. Mr. and Mrs. Parsons had already gone up to bed. Mr. Parsons was leaving for the west coast early the next day for two days of meetings with some distributors for Consolidated Food products. He was going to show them the company line of products, and take preliminary first orders for their region. I could tell that he was excited about expanding the distribution for the company line. He said he'd need to leave the house at four thirty in the morning. "Did they go up to their room already, Kenny?" Bea came in and sat down in her regular place over to the right side of where I was sitting. She still looked a little sad to me. I guessed it was from having to listen to Mr. Chalmers trying to talk her out of going. "Yes. Mr. Parsons has to leave at four thirty." "She went up with him too?" "Yes. I heard her say she was tired too." "She was probably afraid I'd give Tommy a final bump, but if she was, she's worried about the wrong guy. I'd like to come up to you room later, Kenny. Just to say a proper goodbye. One last blow job to remember me by." "My door will be unlocked, Bea, but that's only because I won't be in it. I'm going back to school in half an hour or so with Hans. I'm going to miss you, but only because we're friends. You don't want to stay here and be Mr. Chalmers wife?" "He never asked me to be his wife, Kenny. Not that I would want to be anyway. People like him don't marry people like me. People like me don't want to be stuck marrying someone like him either. Bunny can be fun, more fun than I would have guessed, but not as much fun as I'm looking for. If he wants to come out for a visit sometime, I'll treat him good, but that's all it will ever be between the two of us." "I'm sure he really likes you, Bea. If you told him you'd stay if he married you, he might do it." "Kenny, don't try to make me feel bad, all right? He doesn't want to marry me, and I don't want to marry him. We had a few laughs, and helped each other out some too. That's all it was meant to be. I'm going to miss all of you, and that's the only reason I'm a little bit down tonight. Hans and Gerta, you and Bunny. All right, maybe I'll miss the old lady a little bit too, but mostly I'll miss having my own little space, and seeing up close how the rich people live. In a couple weeks, I'll be right back, up to my eyeballs in my new life. Still, I'll remember all of you, and I'll know I had another choice if I'd wanted to take it." We both stood up and she gave me a tight hug, stronger even than the one that Mrs. Parsons always gave me. She kissed me too, but I wouldn't open my mouth to let her put her tongue inside. Even then, I still got a hard on. She laughed at me when she pulled back. "We can go in my room for five minutes, Kenny. It wouldn't kill you to give me a little tumble before I leave. I really am going to miss our little sessions, you know?" I was just going to tell her that I couldn't because of my promise to Brenda, when Hans and Gerta came into the library. Gerta had a big bag filled up with her baked goods, and Hans told me it was time that we left. "I would have liked that, Bea, but I can't do it. Maybe you should call Mr. Chalmers to see if he wants to?" "Your loss, Kenny. If I had ten more minutes alone with you, I'd have talked you into it. Bye now. You remember me, you hear?" "Who could ever forget you?" "You've got that right, kid. Who could?" I was almost getting ready to cry myself, so when I saw her tears coming, I let go with some of my own. She hugged me again, and this time, when she kissed me, I kissed her back. It must have looked weird to Gerta and Hans, the two of us kissing like that in front of them, both of us crying. When I turned around after though, Hans and Gerta were both wiping at their eyes too. I left with Hans, and we were taking Mrs. Parsons car again. "She's good girl, Bea. Gerta is scared she will get in trouble out there in California. The way she looks and how she acts, I'm more worried about California getting into trouble. In the whole house, I'm the only man in whole house she didn't take to bed. She was ein guter fick, ja?" "Are you asking me if she was good at sex things?" "I'm asking, no offense." "I'm not sure, Hans. She's the only one I ever did that with. I sure liked it though. She told me she wanted to do it with you, but she was afraid of what Gerta would do. She didn't want her food poisoned." "You aren't making it up to tease old Hans? She told you this?" "No, she told me that when I first met her. She said she was really getting itchy, and was thinking about doing it with you, but she was afraid of what Gerta might do." "I too would be afraid. I'm glad she's leaving now. Gerta would be mad, but not at Bea. Already Gerta teases me all the time about Bea. If what you say is true, Hans will be kicking his own ass for never daring to try with her." "It's true, Hans. I don't think you'd really do that with her though, not when you already have Gerta?" "Did you look at Bea, Kenny? Did you look at Gerta? I love Gerta, and we have a good marriage. Sometimes though, a man would like to find out about what he has missed out on. Bea is like my dream girl." "It isn't like that, Hans. Not for me it isn't. I'd rather hold hands with Brenda, than have Bea sucking me." "You know why that is, Kenny? Because you already had Bea sucking you. That's why. If Bea had sucked me, I could probably say the same thing as you just did. She didn't though. No one like Bea ever did that for me. No one probably ever will." We rode the rest of the way to school in silence. I felt bad that I'd said anything to Hans about what Bea had said before. For some reason, what he told me had made me feel bad for him and Gerta both. It was a good thing that Bea was leaving. I didn't want there to be any trouble between Gerta and Hans. It occurred to me, as we drove silently towards my school, that I had made a lot of changes over the past four months. My position in life had improved so much, that I found myself spending as much time worrying about my friends and family as I did worrying about my own situation. "We're here, Kenny. Don't worry about Hans. You were right, and I am lucky to have a good wife like my Gerta." "You are, Hans. Remember that Bea is leaving tomorrow. Did you see how sad Mr. Chalmers was? I think Bea was his dream girl too. I wonder what he'll do now?" "Don't waste any time worrying about Bunny, Kenny. He can more than take care of himself." I checked in at five minutes before nine. Terry didn't show up until after eleven the next morning. When he did show up, he was drunk, and had hickeys all over his neck and chest. He missed the whole day of school, and they threatened to send him back to live in 'Search', except there were no openings in any of the apartments for him to move into. Jerry and Nigel had spent the weekend making a series of prank appearances all around the campus made up as girls. Jerry had a dress and a wig, while Nigel wore shorts, and two rolled up pair of socks as falsies. Both of them had been spotted, coming into, and leaving, the other two residence halls. Five or six of the other boys from 'Joke' had been in on the pranks, and there were school people searching all over campus trying to find out where the 'girls' were holed up. I thought it was pretty funny until I learned they had hidden their costumes in my bedroom. I guess I got pretty mad at them until they explained that I couldn't be a suspect because I was home on pass for the whole time they were out dressed up like that. Monday, after classes, I called over to Brenda's house. Richard answered the phone, but this time he didn't try anymore of his little tricks. I think his parents might have spoken with him about that. "Hello?" "Hi, Brenda. How are you doing?" "Kenny. I was just thinking about you. Were you mad at me yesterday for something?" "No. Why would you think I was? I'd have told you if I was mad." "That's what my mother said, that you'd have said something. You just acted kind of funny when we were together. I guess I thought it would be more like that time when we walked to the road, or like when we were in the garage." "How could it be? We were never alone the whole time we were together." "Because you didn't suggest it. If you had told them you wanted to quit playing so we could go get us something to drink, we could have been alone for awhile at least. I kept thinking that you were going to do something like that." "I couldn't do that. Mrs. Parsons would know something was wrong if I said that to her. I'd like to be alone with you, but we can't do it like that. Does your school start next Monday?" "Tuesday, Monday is a holiday, so we start on Tuesday. You're off for Labor Day too, aren't you?" I hadn't thought about it. There was a schedule of all holidays in our handbook the Academy issued us at orientation. I made a mental note to look it up after I got off the phone. "I get my pass next Friday. Can you catch a ride out with Hans when he comes to pick me up? I'll tell him to pick you up first in the limo. We could stop off somewhere on the ride back and have some privacy." "How could we have privacy if Hans was right there with us?" Brenda had lowered her voice when she asked the question. "If I ask him to do me a favor, I'm sure Hans would park the car somewhere private, and then go for a little walk." "He'd know why you wanted to be alone with me then." "He knew that time when you were in the garage. You screamed pretty loud, you know?" "He heard me?" "They all heard you. Bea, Hans and Gerta. They were all sitting in the kitchen with the back door wide open, except for the screen door." "Oh no. Did they say anything to you about that?" "Bea asked me if it was as good for you as it was for them. She was just teasing me though. You yelled pretty loud though. I was afraid your mom and dad would hear you." "I didn't yell that loud." "I'm sorry, Brenda, but you did. I almost stopped what I was doing, but I was pretty excited by then too." "Could he meet me somewhere not too close to my house? I don't think my dad would like it if he knew I was meeting you like this. He told my mother that she was to handle all of the social things without him from now on. My mother said that I was to keep on your good side, no matter what. She took me to the doctors office this morning too. I'm starting on the pill as soon as my period is over. I think she really means no matter what. Do you think that's what she means too?" "I don't know. How do you feel about this? Do you feel like you're being pushed into something?" "I don't know. I haven't really had a chance yet to think about it. I suppose it is a good thing to be protected, just in case we got carried away sometime. I've been thinking about doing that since that first time you put your finger in me. Right now, I'd rather not do that yet. The other thing you did in the garage? I wasn't planning on letting you do that to me either. Now that you did do it, I'm not sure I would try very hard to stop you from doing that to me again. Not if you were right there, and told me you wanted me to let you do it." "No, I don't want you to just do things because I want you to do them. We don't really have to do anything." "Kenny, I never said I didn't want to do it. The girl isn't supposed to be the one who is willing. You're supposed to be nice to me, and make me want to let you do those things to me." "Bea doesn't act that way. If she wants something, she just asks for it, or else she just takes it." "I'm not common like Bea is." "Bea isn't common either. She just knows what she likes, and she admits it." "Is that how you want me to be too?" "No. I want you to let me know how you feel about these things though. I know you liked what I did in the garage, and in the trees at the country club. If you're going to make it seem like it's always my idea, and you're only going along with it, because of your mother telling you to keep on my good side, then we're not going to be doing anything. Just like it was yesterday." "Kenny, you don't understand how these things get done. It isn't as simple as you want to make it be. Girls have reputations. Look at Claudia. She isn't going to be asked to any nice parties from now on. If she goes to the dances at the club, parents won't let their sons ask her to dance, and my parents wouldn't let me go over and sit next to her, just to talk. There is a reason why I can't just come out and tell you what I want you to do to me." "Maybe. There's also a reason why I don't want to get into another situation like we got ourselves into before. As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather not do anything than do something that I wasn't already sure you wanted me to do to you." "If we are alone, then Ill tell you what I want you to do, but it's going to make me sound just like Bea or Claudia." "Brenda, I don't want you getting a bad reputation. I'm not even asking you to do anything with me that would give you one. I'm telling you that I'll do things, but only if you're sure you want me to do them with you. If we're careful, we'll be the only ones who know for sure, and we won't tell anyone else, right?" "Hans will know. How do I know you won't go bragging to your school friends like Richard and Darryl did about Claudia?" "Hans isn't going to say anything to anyone, except maybe Gerta. If you think I'm like your brother or Darryl, then you should keep as far away from me as you can. From what I've seen of Claudia, she did more than anyone else to ruin her reputation. She did a lot, right out in public. Even before she got caught, people were talking about her." "Go ahead and ask Hans if he'll pick me up on the way out to get you on Friday afternoon. Since he's going to know anyway, do you think you could just ask him to drive back the long way? With those windows all tinted dark like that, we'd have privacy from everyone but him. I want you to do the same thing you did in the garage, okay?" "Lick your kitty until you start screaming?" "Yes. Call me tomorrow and tell me what he says. Ask him what time, and where he wants me to wait for him." As soon as we got off the phone, I called home and Gerta answered. "Hi Gerta, this is Kenny. Is Hans there?" "You want to talk to my Hans?" "Yes, if he's there. I can call back if he isn't there right now." "Hold on, Kenny. I'll try him in the apartment, or out in the garage. You hold on, okay?" "Hello?" "Hi Hans, this is Kenny. Did Bea leave all right?" "Yes. Bunny came for her this morning. They took all her things with them up to the courthouse. Bea phoned Gerta from the airport to tell her everything went good. She already flew to Chicago I think. She gets to Los Angeles sometime tonight." "That's good. I'm glad it worked out for her. Hans, I need to ask you a favor, a big favor." "You need more rubbers? Some more vodka? What do you need?" "On Friday, you're planning on coming out here to pick me up, right?" "Yes, I think so. Maybe Mrs. Parsons might drive out instead. You want it to be me, for sure?" "I'd prefer that. I was hoping you'd pick up Brenda on your way over here, so that she and I could spend some time together, in the back of the limo." "Will she be screaming again?" "I don't know. I thought you said the limo was sound proofed?" "It has sound shielding, Kenny. It isn't sound proof. I can drive back along roads that aren't as busy, but it might take fifteen minutes longer that way." "I don't want this to get you in any trouble Hans." "I'm going to be up in front, driving, Kenny. No trouble for me." "Where is a good place for her to wait for you? She doesn't want to be picked up or dropped off too near her house, because of her father." "She is just like her mother then." "I don't understand?" "Nothing. Forget I said anything. Years ago, something happened that reminded me of now." "With Mr. Chalmers and Mrs. Connor?" "Before, when she wasn't Mrs. Connor, yet. Bunny was still in high school, and I'd drive him to school in the mornings, earlier than Bertie. Him in the limo, always, and her, later, in the smaller car, always. I spent a lot of time switching back and forth to drive them to school." "Are you telling me that you'd rather not do this, Hans?" "No, Kenny, I'm not saying that. I'm looking forward to it. Ask her to meet me at the big tree, in front of the bike shop on Glover Street." Hans laughed into the phone. "It is the corner of Glover and Fir Streets, about two blocks south of her grandfather's old house. Tell her four o'clock, Kenny. Tell her if she doesn't know where it is, to ask her mother." Hans started laughing again. I was pretty sure he was laughing because that was where he used to pick up Brenda's mother too, when he took Mr. Chalmers to school about thirty years before. "You aren't going to tell anyone about this are you, Hans?" "No one that you would have to be worried about. Gerta will get a good laugh too. You are a good boy, and this is none of my business. If it helps you, then I am happy to do it. Kenny, do you have some of them rubbers left I bought for you?" "No, but we won't need any of them." "Ha. Well, just in case, I will put a few in the ashtray compartment on the passenger side door. You never can tell when they might come in handy." "Four o'clock at the big tree at Glover and Fir streets. Make sure it's the limo Hans, okay?" "Yes. Don't worry about me doing what you tell me. For me, this is fun again. I felt terrible when Bunny got his own driver's license and car." "Thanks Hans. Tell Gerta that all my roommates loved her pastries too. They are already almost all gone, and I didn't even get any yet." As soon as I was done, I called Brenda again. "You already talked to him?" "I didn't want to take any chances on him scheduling something else for Friday." "I know the tree he's talking about, Kenny. I'll be there before four o'clock. Did it sound like he knows?" "He knows I think you're special, and that I want to spend some time with you as soon as I can. I don't think he'd mind it if you screamed really loud. It might remind him of when he was younger himself." "You think he did that when he was younger? It's hard for me to imagine him doing anything like that." "I didn't ask him if he does or not. If you want me to." "No! I don't want to know! Do I ride up front with him, or do I just get in the back where I usually sit?" "I think you should get in the back. That's what he'd expect, I think. What are you going to be wearing?" "I don't know. I've got several nice new outfits my mother bought me for school. Do you want me to describe them to you, then you can pick the one you want?" "No. I just thought it might be easier if you were dressed in something easier for me to get to. Something loose." "I know just the thing. The problem is, if I wore it, my mother would ask me where I was going, dressed in that? That's okay though. I've got just the thing. Remember the skirt I was wearing in the garage?" "I thought that was a dress. The blue one, right?" "That was a full skirt with a matching top, not a dress. How could you think it was a dress? Don't you pay attention to what people are wearing?" "I pay attention to the important things. I remember exactly how wet and open your kitty looked when I pulled my tongue away from it. I remember the look on your face after I finished doing that." "Don't talk about that right now, Kenny. You can say those things when we're together, and alone. Right now, it just makes things more difficult for me. Did I tell you that Claudia told me she was up to ten now?" "I'm only interested in how many you're up to now." "None yet, but, you've got me thinking about changing that. I think about it more now than I ever did before. I know that's why they tell us to never let things get out of hand with boys. I guess they must know what happens when you start knowing how some things feel." "Do you wish you hadn't discovered any of that?" "No, because Claudia was right. As soon as you get ready, physically, your body becomes like a ticking bomb that wants to go off. The body keeps letting the mind know what it wants. Claudia told me about all the things she tried, hoping to have it go away, before she finally just gave up, and let it happen to her." "There are a lot of people who don't give up, who find a way to wait, most people in fact. I don't think Claudia is the right person for you to be taking advice from. Her way isn't the best way, not if you're asking me." "I know that. All I'm saying was that she was right about my body telling my mind what it wants to happen to it. I'm not talking about letting ten boys do it with me either. I haven't even thought about anyone else, other than you, since that time off the driveway at the club. And, I never even thought seriously about anyone else, not ever." We talked until I ran out of change in my pocket. It wasn't all just about sex or about Friday. We talked about her school, her parents, and, yes, we talked about money. Brenda told me that her mother told her that Mrs. Parsons had said that I was going to be very wealthy someday. When she told me that, I could picture Mrs. Parsons saying that to her mother. On the one hand, I'm doing everything I can to keep Brenda from thinking that I'd ever be rich, because that was, most likely, the whole truth of it. Mrs. Parsons, on the other hand, was trying to influence Brenda's mother in my favor, and she knew how important money was to Mrs. Connor, and to Brenda too. With Mrs. Parsons saying that now, I had no chance of ever convincing Brenda that it wasn't true. I really wanted her to love me for who I was, an orphan who wasn't rich. If I did get rich, one way or another, that would be good. I just didn't want her pretending to like me, when all she really wanted was a rich husband. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 28 School dragged by slowly. Our teachers were very good. Too good, if you were used to going to a school where you were one of the smartest kids. In my classes, that was definitely not the case anymore. The teaching philosophy at Clement Academy was simple. Each teacher would push you as hard as he felt you were capable of absorbing information from him. It didn't help me that I never volunteered in the classroom either. At CA, they didn't ask for a show of hands to see if you wanted to participate in discussion. They called your name, and you stood up and answered questions until the teacher told you to be seated again. For me, this was uncomfortable, mainly because I had little, or no, experience with classes conducted that way. When I found out that half my grade in Biology would come from my classroom participation, I was convinced that I couldn't succeed in that class. Dr. Tanksley, my Biology teacher, quickly made me one of his favorite targets to call on. In the process, he got me fully engaged in understanding the teaching process he used. I needed to spend an hour each evening going over the reading he casually assigned to me anytime I was unable to answer his classroom questions. The next day, I would be made to stand and be grilled about each wrong answer from the previous class. By the end of the third week, I was coming to class much better prepared. By the fifth week, he was calling my name with the same frequency as the other students. No one ever got lost in his classroom, and he knew where each student's level of knowledge was. By the time Friday came around again, I was growing anxious about Brenda coming to my school with Hans. I'd mentioned it to my roommates, and they had peppered me with questions about how Brenda looked, how far we'd gone, and whether or not she had any sisters. At four thirty, when Terry brought me my weekend pass, there were twenty boys waiting in the Academy's driveway, each of them waiting for Hans to show up to get me. I was being teased, by Terry and others, about Brenda being some hideous monstrosity that I needed to hide behind the tinted windows of the limo. I knew that I had to let her get out of the limo and show her to everyone in order to quiet them before the kidding got out of hand. Brenda was gorgeous, but I worried about some of the comments the boys might make in front of her. Some of the things they said could be hurtful, especially if Brenda wasn't aware that they were just kidding. At CA, teasing was an art form, and insults were the main currency of conversation. As soon as we saw Hans come inside the front gates, some of the boys let out the first barrage of insults, barking like dogs in a few cases, pulling the fly's down on their uniform pants for another. Terry leaned in and asked me if there was any booze in the back of the limo. I was relieved that he hadn't come to see Brenda. Of everyone, Terry's comments were often the crudest, and the most cutting. When Hans parked beside me, I reached over and opened up the door. "Brenda, I hate to ask you this, but could you step out and say hello to these perverts for me?" She was wearing that blue skirt we had talked about, and a white top that set off her copper colored hair. She looked so good. Smiling, she took my offered hand, and stepped gracefully out into view of the gathered crowd. Instead of letting go of my hand, she reached in and put her other arm around me, lifted herself onto her tip toes, and planted a kiss right on my lips. "Hello boys, it's nice to meet you all." She then put her mouth right next to my ear, whispering into it. "Can we go now, Kenny, I only have an hour before I have to be home?" "Sorry fellas, I'd like to introduce each of you to Brenda, but we're a little short for time right now. See you all when I get back. Have fun thinking about me this weekend." There were shouts, moans, grumbles and a few swear words offered up after that. Terry called out to Brenda, asking her if she had any cute girlfriends. Crowers, a senior, asked Brenda if she had any sisters. Before she could answer him, Nigel asked her if she had any brothers, which made everyone laugh, and turned our departure back into good natured envy at my excellent fortune at having a girlfriend that looked like Brenda. We turned around again and got back inside the limo. Hans pulled the long car smoothly away from where we'd been parked, and straight down and through the Academy gates. Before we even got past the front gate, Brenda and I were kissing again. When I finally worked up enough courage to slip my hand under the bottom of her skirt, I was shocked to find that she wasn't wearing anything underneath. Brenda laughed at my facial reaction to this discovery. "That surprised you, didn't it? I bet it did." She seemed pleased that I had been so surprised. "Don't tell your friends about this, okay?" "Don't worry, I won't. Did you leave your house like this?" "Yes, but don't worry, I have panties in my purse. I just thought this way would make it more exciting for you." "It does, more exciting, and a lot easier to do what I've been thinking about doing. Lay back against the seat, Brenda." As she put her head back, I lifted up her skirt and got a good look at her kitty. I slid down to the floorboard, resting on the right side of my hip with both legs bent, and off to the left. I guess that Brenda was thinking about it on the drive out to the Academy, just like I had been, almost all week long. I lowered my face down to her crotch as she splayed her legs as wide apart as she could manage. I'm not sure how long I was down there, licking her, but it was a long time, perhaps half an hour or more. Three times I licked and sucked her to the point where she had screaming orgasms. The third was more of a whimpering noise than a scream, but she had the back of my head in both her hands and was squeezing my cheeks with her muscular thighs, in a way that covered up my ears too. After that third one, she pushed me away from her, telling me not to touch her anywhere, she said she was too sensitive for any kind of touching. I had gone into the bathroom at school, early that morning, playing with myself twice, in hopes that this would keep me from messing up my pants if she did let me lick her like this again. It had been a little embarrassing that other time, in the garage, when I'd cum in my pants just from doing that to her. I had a big hard on, and some pre cum, but I hadn't cum this time, not even after taking so much time with Brenda, licking her. I got up and sat next to her, pulling out my dick as soon as I was settled. I saw Brenda watching me when I did that, and she had a scared look on her face. "Kenny, I don't think I'm ready to let you do that yet." She sat up herself and moved all the way over to the other side of the seat, getting as far away from me as she could. I reached over to the ashtray and popped it open. Inside were three or four rubbers in their individual packaging. I took one out and opened the packet, taking out the rubber and putting it on over my cock. Brenda stared at me as I did this. I'm certain she believed I planned to do it with her right then, in spite of what she'd just told me. "Brenda, I don't want to make a mess, but I need to cum too. I'm going to play with myself. You don't have to watch." "Oh. I thought you wanted to do the other thing to me. I can watch. I've never seen anyone do it to themselves before. Any boy I mean. Are you going to make it squirt into the condom?" I was already hard at work, stroking myself, and wishing that Brenda had stayed like she had been, with her skirt raised, and her legs spread. Instead, she sat there and watched me. It was a little bit inhibiting for me, her just sitting there, staring at me doing something like that. "Brenda, it would help if you'd raise your skirt so I can see your kitty again." I didn't slow down my hand while I waited for her to consider my request. Just saying that to her was pretty exciting. I hoped she was going to let me see it again, but I already had good reason to believe my hand stimulation alone was close to yielding the desired result. "If I do that, do you promise not to put it inside me? I'm really not ready to do that yet, Kenny." "I promise. We can take our time for that." Brenda lifted her skirt then, and started shifting around until both of her legs were raised up and spread open. I knew that Hans was probably looking in his rear view mirror and laughing at how indiscreet we were being in the back of his limo. Brenda scooted even closer to me, until her butt was right against my thigh. I started feeling some of her juices on my pant leg. "Brenda, can I turn sideways so my snake is next to your kitty? I won't let it touch you." Brenda looked at me, and I could see that she had gotten hot again. She had that look on her face, the one where it looks like she was dazed or something. She closed her eyes and nodded to me that it was okay for me to do that. Somehow, when I was tilting my hips to get on my side, my dick slapped her right on her pussy. I pulled it back as soon as it happened, but I could see that Brenda had been surprised when that happened. "Kenny! Did you do that on purpose?" "No, it just slipped when I turned. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." "It felt good. Use your hand and slap me on my kitty, about as hard as you did it with your snake." I had gotten real close, but her saying that had made me lose my place, kind of. I mean, she wanted me to slap her on her pussy. Bea had told me about how some people were weird about sex, wanting to be tied up or beaten, but I thought she meant other kinds of people. I reached over and slapped her pussy, really lightly. "That wasn't as good as the other way. Hit me with your snake again, Kenny." I grabbed my dick and slapped her three or four quick slaps with it. None of them hard enough to cause her any pain, or me either. "That's really good. Do that some more, Kenny. You can do it harder, because it feels good when you do it." "I'm almost ready to cum, Brenda. I need to rub it harder for me to cum." "Rub it on my kitty then, just not inside me." What happened next was pretty strange, I was pulling up and down on my dick, then slapping her pussy with it after every eight or ten strokes with my hand. Brenda started sliding her butt all around on the seat and, when I slapped down, she moved forward at the same time, and about an inch of my dick went inside her pussy. Both of us froze, but my dick started spurting into the rubber. I tried to pull it out, but, for some reason, my head wasn't communicating with my hips very well, and it went in deeper instead of coming back out. That scared both of us, and we both pulled away at the same time. I was still cumming, and Brenda had a look on her face like she expected me to help her cum too. I was trying to think about what I needed to take care of first when Hans stopped the limo. I looked out the window, and we were already in Ridgeline. That's when I knew we had taken a lot longer than I had thought we did. I saw Brenda sit up and grab at her purse which she had put on the floor of the limo earlier. While I took off the rubber and wiped the goo off of my dick with my hands, Brenda put her panties on. I checked myself to see that everything was where it was supposed to be before I opened up the back door and stepped outside. I dropped the rubber on the street, and kicked it under the limo, out of sight. Brenda got out and started walking over to the back of the limo to get to the curb. I should have opened the other door for her. She turned and waved to me, a big grin on her face. "Call me in half an hour, Kenny. Bye." I closed the limo door, and went quickly to the front, getting in next to Hans. He gave me a big grin too. I was a little embarrassed because I knew why he was grinning, but I smiled back at him too. "So, Kenny, you enjoyed the long ride home?" I looked at my watch, surprised to find that it was quarter past five already. Forty five minutes to travel less than twenty miles. "It didn't seem like it was that long." Hans laughed and shook his head. He put the limo in gear and drove us the last half mile home. Instead of parking in the circle, he took the limo out in back, to the garage. He parked out in front of the garage. "Wait here, I'll get you a rag to wipe down the backseat. I'm not cleaning up after that. This is the same deal I had with Bunny. You make the mess, you clean up after yourself. When you're done, leave both doors open." He was back in a minute with several rags and a bottle of some kind of leather cleaner. I had both back doors opened already and spent only five minutes or so tending to the seat. When I was done, Hans looked inside, to inspect my work. He indicated a bucket that he had placed beside the door of the limo and I put the rags and the leather cleaner inside it. "Good, now go in the kitchen and let Gerta know you got home safely. If she asks about the time, you tell her it was because they let you out late." I thanked Hans for everything, and went in the back kitchen door to say hello to Gerta. "Kenny, it's good to see you. Maybe now she comes down for dinner. She's been in her room since Tuesday. She won't eat, and she doesn't even drink the coffee I bring her." "Did something happen? Why is she in her room?" "No, it just happens sometimes. It has nothing to do with anything that happens. You need to try to get her to eat and drink something, then try to make her sleep. Her husband is in New York again. He won't be here this weekend at all. Oh, you need to call Bunny when you get a chance to." I went up and knocked on her door, several times, but she didn't answer. I let myself in, and checked first in her bedroom, but she wasn't in there. She wasn't in her closet, or Mr. Parsons closet either. I finally found her in a corner of Mr. Parsons bedroom, squeezed all the way in the back with a large towel covering her head. From the smell, she had had a bowel movement sometime earlier, and hadn't gotten up to clean herself. "Mrs. Parsons, it's Kenny. You need to come with me so we can get you cleaned up. You can't stay here. Mr. Parsons might surprise you and come home early." She didn't stir. I was starting to worry that she might be dead until I saw her starting to shake like someone who was crying. It took me a long time to get her to let me help her into her bathroom, but even when we got there, she wasn't able to take care of cleaning herself. I had to undress her and clean her as well as I could before I got undressed too, and helped her into the shower stall. I managed to get us both pretty wet, and to get her to put her arms around my neck and hold on to me while I cleaned us both. I soaped everything I could reach, which was everything above her knees. The whole time I'm doing this, she's saying things, things that didn't make sense to me. I recognized names, like Daddy, mama, Thomas and Bunny, but there were other names I didn't recognize. I think she was trying to tell me some kind of story. When I thought she was clean enough, I got her out of the shower, and put a clean robe on her from the ones hanging on the inside of her bathroom door. I didn't know how to do anything with her hair. It looked all tangled up and snarled. I helped her to the bed and then went back and got another of the robes for me. I got her to lay down and move over like I had before, and I just got in the bed with her and held on to her. She was facing me, and both my arms were around her, holding her. She stopped talking, so I started talking to her. I told her all about the week in school, telling her about Jerry and Nigel dressing up as girls, getting all of the special counselors worried that there were girls on campus. She wasn't responding to anything I was saying to her. That's when I started telling her about my life at the orphanage, and how different it was for me to be able to come there and live with her and Mr. Parsons. I had just begun telling her about how the sisters kept trying to make me do what they told me to do, when I felt her body move in response to what I was saying. I talked to her for another hour after that. At the end of that hour, she asked me a question. "Why didn't you just let them win, Kenny? It would have been so much better for you." I knew that she already knew what my answer was going to be, even before I said it. "I couldn't let them win. It was the only thing I had that was my own. If I gave in, they'd have taken that away too." "You hid behind that?" "Like you hide. I didn't have these good hiding places like you do. I had to hide in my own mind." "I do that too, Kenny. I retreat to a place where no one can find me. How did you know where to find me? Only Bunny has ever known how to find me when I go inside myself." "I didn't know. I hoped that you'd come back out if you knew you were safe with me." "Now that you found me, what are you going to do?" "I thought we'd go down and clean out the refrigerator. Gerta said you haven't eaten. We had a deal about that, remember? You're going to have to eat a lot for me to forgive you for not eating all week. We'll eat and drink, then we'll come back here and I'll stay with you until you go to sleep. Tomorrow, if you feel okay, we'll go hit some golf balls and have lunch at the club." We did get up and went downstairs. She wouldn't eat, although she did drink a strawberry milkshake down, and two stiff drinks that Hans made for her, after I finished my dinner. We went back to her bedroom and got back in bed just like we were before. It was at least an hour before she fell asleep. I felt all the tension leaving her body as she slipped into a relaxed sleep state. I got up about fifteen minutes later and went into my own room. My clock said it was eight fifteen, and that was the first time I remembered that I was supposed to call Brenda as soon as I got back home. "Hello?" It was Mr. Connor. My first reaction was to hang up, and then call back in a few minutes. "Hello Mr. Connor. This is Kenny, may I please speak with Brenda?" He put the phone down without speaking to me, and a few seconds later, Mrs. Connor came to the phone. "Kenny, this is Georgia Connor. Brenda isn't here right now. She went over to a friends house earlier, but she told me to give you their number if you called. Do you have a pen and paper?" I had a pretty good memory, but most adults insisted that you write their numbers down. "Yes, go ahead." "572-2911. That is the number for Emily Carstairs. If you call and ask for Brenda, she'll come to the phone." "Okay, I'll try there. Thank you." "You're welcome, Kenny, goodnight." After we broke the connection, I tried to remember anyone named Emily that Brenda might have mentioned, but I drew a complete blank on that name. I dialed the number. "Carstairs residence, Gary speaking." "Hello, this is Kenny Masters calling for Brenda Connor. Her mother said I might reach her at this number." "Yeah, she's here with Emily. Hold on and I'll get her for you." I heard him yelling in the background. "Hey, Brenda, it's your lover boy calling you." Gary sounded like he might be between ten and twelve years old. "Hello? Kenny?" "Hi. I'm sorry it took so long to call you. I had a problem when I got home." "Did someone tell Mrs. Parsons about me being in the limo with you?" "No, it was just a small family problem, but it's fine now. So, who is this Emily Carstairs, and why haven't you told me about her?" "Emily is a friend of mine from school, and she's been in Europe all summer, visiting with her grandparents in England. They toured all over Europe, Emily and her brother, Gary." "Ah. Is Emily rich then?" "Very. Maybe richer than you are." "She has more than two hundred and fifty three dollars? Hard for me to believe that. So how old is she?" "Why do you care? You already have a girlfriend." "Not a rich girlfriend. Tell me, is she rich and cute, or just rich?" Brenda giggled into the receiver. "I'm a little bit cuter than she is." In the background I heard someone laughing and saying something. "Is she right there listening to us? Put her on if she's there." There was a delay, and then I heard another girl's voice. She was giggling worse than Brenda had been. "Hello?" "Is this Emily Carstairs?" "Yes. Is this Kenny Masters?" I heard Brenda saying something in the background, then I heard her shouting into the phone for me not to answer any of Emily's questions. "Kenny, did Brenda tell me the truth about what she did with you today?" "I don't know. First you have to tell me what she told you." "She said she rode out to Clement Academy in your limo and met half the boys that go to school there. Is that part true?" "No, she only met about twenty of them, and all of those were from Oak Hall." "What were you two doing in the back of the limo all the way home to Ridgeline?" "Whatever Brenda says. I'm sure she wouldn't lie to you." "Don't be so sure. I've caught her in a lot of lies before." "She seems very honest to me. What did she tell you?" "She says you just kissed and talked." "I remember the talking part. Are you sure she says we kissed?" "Don't give me that. I know Brenda better than that. She says you're cute. If you're so cute, she would have let you kiss her." "I think I'd remember if Brenda let me kiss her. She told me that you were cute too. Does she let you kiss her?" "Wouldn't you like to know?" I heard the two girls whispering together in the background. I heard them both laughing too. "Brenda says you kiss better than I do." "Really? I wasn't even doing my best kissing either." "That isn't what Brenda said. She said you made her scream." I heard the two of them fighting over the phone, and Brenda sounded like she was getting pretty upset. "Kenny! I didn't tell her that. Don't listen to her. She's just trying to make trouble between us." I heard Emily laughing, and saying something to Brenda, then the two of them were laughing together again. "Kenny, I have to go now. Call me at home in the morning, okay?" "I will. I might be going out to the club with Mrs. Parsons in the morning, depending on how she's feeling. I'll call you when I know. Be careful what you tell people. Remember what happened to Claudia's reputation?" After I hung up, I couldn't help being a little worried about what Brenda might have told Emily. I went downstairs and found Hans and Gerta in the kitchen. Hans was drinking a beer, and Gerta was making out a grocery list for him to pick up the next day. She stopped and went to get me a big bowl of raspberry sherbet and vanilla wafers. "So, Kenny. You managed to get her cleaned up and sleeping in her own bed? How did you do this?" Gerta asked me the question, but she had a worried look on her face. I thought she was afraid to hear my answer. "I'm not sure. She was saying things to me at first, but I didn't understand what she was saying. She was in Mr. Parsons bedroom when I found her. I think she'd been in there for a long time. You should make sure the room is cleaned, and aired out, before Mr. Parsons comes home. I started talking to her, mostly about school, and she let me take her into her bathroom. I had her get in the shower, and got her cleaned off some." "You were in the shower with her, Kenny? You didn't just let her go in the shower by herself? Not when she is like she gets?" "No, of course not. I was in there with her. She couldn't even stand up by herself." "She was naked? You were naked too?" "We didn't do anything! She's like my mother, Gerta. You didn't think I did anything to her, did you?" "No, I didn't think that, Kenny. You are a good boy. Other people, if they should hear, they might misunderstand. People like Mr. Parsons, for example." "I'm sure he's seen her like that too, Gerta. She gets that way quite often I think." "No. He leaves when she is in one of her bad periods. Bunny sees her like that, or me. Bea has seen her like that too, but he never sees her like that." "No wonder he thinks it's just something she can control. If he saw her like I did today, he'd know she can't help herself sometimes." "Don't think that way, Kenny. She couldn't stand it if he saw her during one of her really bad periods. That's why we need someone like Bea, to make sure he never does. She needs someone to keep her clean, and to try to make her eat something." "Well, she's resting now. Do you think she'll be better in the morning?" "Better, yes. She will be weak though, until she eats and gets some liquids in her. These bad periods are coming more often now, and she gets deeper into them than before. Maybe he is right, Kenny. Maybe she would be better in a place that is set up to help her through these periods of hers." "You can't really believe that, Gerta? She's better off living here with us than she would be living in an institution. Even if she were only her normal self for one or two days a month, it would be better than going off somewhere to live with people who just take care of you for the money. Don't start saying things like that, Gerta. We can get someone in to help her full time. She loves your cooking. If she had to eat the other food, she might never get better and have her good days." I saw Gerta was crying. I knew it must have been pretty hard on her this whole week, with no one else there to help her with Mrs. Parsons. Just from the little time I was with her, I could see how much work was involved in taking care of her when she was like she had been earlier. Gerta had to be close to sixty, and Hans had a bad back. Physically, taking care of her was more than they could manage. I think it was Brenda who told me that money could solve most problems. "I'm going to call Mr. Chalmers in the morning, Gerta. Before I go back to school, we'll have someone here to help you with Mrs. Parsons." The next morning, when I came down for breakfast, Mrs. Parsons was in the kitchen nibbling on a piece of buttered toast with sugar and cinnamon sprinkled over it. She was drinking coffee, but her hands were shaking badly when she lifted her cup. Her hair was like it had been the night before, and she looked too weak to do anything with it herself. I smiled, and came over and kissed her on the cheek. "Good morning. You're looking better. Did you sleep good?" "Not good, but I did sleep. Thank you, Kenny. I'm sorry about last night. Sometimes, I just can't do anything. I hate for you to have to see me like that." "I know you do, and that's why we're going to get someone to make sure that you always look pretty, and ready for any company you get." "I don't need someone all the time, Kenny. I don't like having a keeper, always watching over me." "We don't know when the bad times are going to come. We need a full time helper now for Gerta. She can assist you during the times when you need her help, and the rest of the time, she can help Gerta. This time, we'll get someone you feel comfortable with. Maybe one of those big strong German farm girls that Gerta was telling me about. You don't need a companion, you need a personal assistant. Someone to help you with the things you can't always do for yourself." "I'd like someone who understood about nails, makeup, and hair styling, Kenny. Someone who could duplicate how I would do it if I were feeling better." "That's right. We'll get someone smart, someone who can watch you do it a few times, and then do exactly what you'd do yourself." "Someone who is nice, Kenny. Someone I won't dislike having in my home." "Someone like Gerta, right? Strong, nice, and smart." "There aren't many like Gerta, Kenny." "That's okay. We only need to find one. We'll get one young, just like Gerta was when she first came here. If we treat her good, she'll learn what she needs to, and soon, we won't have to worry as much as we do now." "You make it seem simple to fix, Kenny. How are you going to find me such a paragon of virtue?" "We'll put Gerta in charge of it. Give her full authority to go out and find you just the right person. Gerta, where would you go to find us such a girl?" "My sister, Ilse, has a daughter. She is twenty two. She is a big, strong girl. If she was willing to move, she might be good. She is sure strong enough. She did good in school, so I think she is smart too. Elena has one big problem though, she thinks she is more like a man than a woman. I'm not sure if she'd be right for this job." "She really thinks she's a man?" "No. She just tries to act the same as a man. She likes women, like a man would like a woman. Other than that, she is a sweet girl. Except for the big motorcycle, the clothes she wears, and the tattoos." This was Hans, deciding to weigh in on the discussion. "Is she cute?" "She is cute, in an Arnold Swarzenegger kind of way." Hans said this and had to run away from the slap Gerta aimed his way. "Elena isn't like what Hans says she is. She is a nice girl. She is confused at times, but she will settle down. Someday she will meet the right man and settle down." "Gerta, Elena will never meet a man that she likes, not unless she finds him hidden underneath a woman that she likes." This time, Hans was given the bad look from both Gerta and Mrs. Parsons. He quickly apologized to Mrs. Parsons, and remembered something outside that needed his immediate personal attention. "Gerta, call her, and we'll have her come out for a trial period. The only way we'll know for sure is after we've all met her, and see how we get along. Where does she live?" "In Lincoln, Nebraska. Maybe two and a half hours by motorcycle. I'm still worried that this might not be the right job for Elena though. She isn't used to living in a small town. She prefers to have friends who are like her." "I don't think that will be too big of a problem, Gerta. I already met three girls that like other girls out at the country club. Besides, she can drive up to Topeka or over to Bolling on her days off. If she does a good job here, we probably wouldn't care what she does in her off duty time." "Kenny, you can't just decide to do something like this on your own. We need to consult with Thomas and Bunny before we act. We can't just spring this on them without any warning." "Why can't we? Elena would be coming here to help Gerta and, when you need her, you. I don't see why we need to check with them. I think it might be a good thing that Elena doesn't like men. You know how Bea was. It would be nice to not always need to lock my bedroom door at night." Gerta and Mrs. Parsons laughed. "Very well. When you put it like that, I see no reason to check with either of them about this decision. We need to make it clear that she is here to assist Gerta primarily. From time to time, as needed, she can help me as well. Gerta, please call Elena and invite her to come here to see if we're all compatible." "Missy, this Kenny is a sharp boy. Why I didn't think of this, I don't know." "Missy? How long has it been since you called me that? Bunny and Missy. My mother's pet names for us. Bunny stuck, but no one calls me Missy anymore." "That's how I always think of you both in my head. " "Well, you call her and see how soon she can come down here. I want Kenny to talk with her too. If she is going to be living with us, she'll need to get along with all of us. Do you suppose I could trouble you for some lightly poached eggs, Gerta?" Nothing ever made Gerta happier than to hear Mrs. Parsons asking for something to eat. When her appetite returned, it meant her current depression had once again lifted. After fixing the eggs, Gerta called her sister in Lincoln. She got off the phone and announced that Elena was going to be on the road within the hour. She went outside to get Hans, and the two of them went into Bea's old room and started whipping it into shape for our soon to be arriving applicant. Bea hadn't been one who liked cleaning anything. She told me several times that she didn't do domestic work. I stood outside her bedroom door and watched Gerta and Hans hard at work, getting the room into decent shape. Hans, in spite of his bad back, was made to lift and hold up everything, including the double bed, although he only held up one end at a time, while Gerta swept and mopped up underneath. I almost felt sorry for him, but I knew that Gerta was doing this to punish him for being vulgar around Mrs. Parsons in the kitchen. Mrs. Parsons went back upstairs to her bedroom for two hours. When she came back down, she was dressed in one of those long, old fashioned dresses, and her hair and makeup were back in perfect form again. It would have been difficult to recognize this woman as the same one I'd found in Mr. Parsons room the day before. Now, she looked elegant, and she even carried herself with a somewhat regal bearing, coming down the stairs. I called Brenda a little after twelve, and we talked for about an hour. I told her we were interviewing a new assistant for Gerta, and that we might go out to the club later to hit some golf balls. We talked about her friend Emily, and Brenda swore to me that she hadn't told her anything about what I'd done to make her scream, only that whatever it was we had done together, had caused her so much pleasure that she did scream. She said Emily had spent an hour trying to find out what we had done. Brenda wanted to know if what happened between us at the end of the limo ride, when it slipped inside her for a minute, constituted us having "done it" or not. I told her it didn't, because it was an accident, and it didn't really go very far inside her. We argued about what we'd have had to do to make it count. "If it goes in at all, it should count." I wasn't sure why Brenda wanted it to count. To me, it hadn't been real sex. I was already cumming when it slipped in her that little bit. "I'm not counting it. You can if you want to. We weren't trying to do that, so it was only a slight accident. If I accidentally bump my elbow up against your chest, would that be a "feel"?" "Yes, if I felt it, it's a feel. If you put it in me, then we did it." "I didn't put it in you, Brenda. We just kind of bumped together, that's all. It was only the tip, and only for a few seconds. I didn't even know it had gone in until you moved against me." "You're being mean, Kenny. If I want to count it, you should count it too." "Brenda, tell me why you want to count it." "Just because. If we count it, then I'm not a virgin anymore, and we can do it whenever we want to when my pills have made it safe for us to do it." "Your first time should be special, Brenda. That wasn't very special." "It was too. I love you, Kenny. Everything we do together like that, is special to me." I knew when I was out gunned. Brenda had a reason for deciding on this, and it wasn't what she was telling me either. I wasn't sure why I felt so strongly that this was so, but I did. I tried to think of something neutral to say to her. Something that wouldn't make her mad, but wouldn't involve me saying she was right either. "Brenda, if you want to call that our first time, then you go right ahead and do it." Too neutral, she'd never go for that one. "Are you going to count it too?" She definitely wasn't going to let this go. "What other choice do I have?" I knew what my other choices were, did she? "Does that mean you count it or not?" Brenda had a big future as a Mother Superior, as tenacious as she was. "I'm counting it as a special time we had together, one that I'll always remember. I love you too, Brenda." I did love her, and I hoped my telling her so would end this on a very positive note. "You're not counting it, are you?" She was starting to cry. Why was this so important to her? "Brenda, I'm counting it, okay?" There, that wasn't so hard, was it? I wasn't sure if I'd just lied, or if I'd learned how to give up finally. Either way, something had changed. Still, why did she keep after me to say that I counted it too? "Can I come over to your house tonight? Do you have anymore of those condom things? My mother and father are taking Richard over to Bolling to see my Uncle Robert. I told them I was spending the night with Emily." "Hold up a minute. How am I supposed to explain you coming here for the evening, let alone to spend the whole night?" "Hans will come get me at Emily's, and then I'll just sneak up to your room. You told me you have this lock on your door, so no one can come in, right?" "I'm not doing this, Brenda. It would get all of us in trouble, including Hans. Plus, Emily would know what you were doing. You aren't thinking this thing all the way through. There are a million problems with it. We can't just start doing whatever we feel like doing. You're only fourteen, and I'm barely fifteen. It's too big a risk. Think about what might happen if your dad found out. The last time, Mr. Parsons told him he had to treat me good or else he wasn't going to stay in business. If there's a next time, your dad might decide he didn't care about his business enough to put up with it." "I already went to a lot of trouble to set this up for us, Kenny. What am I supposed to tell my parents, or Emily?" "I don't know. I guess you can tell your parents that your plans fell through. What happened to you not being ready?" "I wasn't, but, since we did it already, I thought it might be better on a nice bed, instead of on a car seat for five seconds." "I'm sorry, but I don't want to sneak around like that. I hate to say this, Brenda, but you're starting to sound more and more like Claudia. This isn't how I want us to be. There's a lot more involved than just us having sex together." "I'm going to Emily's in about an hour. Do you still have her phone number?" I repeated the Carstairs phone number to her. Satisfied that I knew how to get in touch with her, Brenda told me to think about her plan and then call her if I came up with an idea that would work. "Kenny, this is our best chance before school starts for me. After that, I might be too busy with school things and parties to get away from home like this." I told her I'd think about it. After we hung up, I did think about it, but it still seemed like a terribly dangerous idea to me. When I came downstairs, there was a Viking standing in the entry way between Mr. Parsons study and the living room. Elena Klass was a one of a kind individual. She had to be at least six feet tall and weigh one hundred and eighty pounds. As soon as I set eyes on her, I thought of what Hans had said about her being cute in an Arnold Swarzenegger way. She was prettier than Arnold, and not quite as muscular. Her hair was a very light blond color, and her breasts looked more like muscles, than women's breasts. I looked her all over, but I didn't see any tattoos anywhere I could see her skin. She was looking me over too, probably wondering who I was. I didn't know if Gerta had told her about me yet or not. "What are you looking at, fuzz nuts?" She had a fairly high voice for the way she looked. Not a soprano, but no lower than a contralto. It sounded funny coming out of her body though. I didn't laugh. She intimidated me by her size and her build. There wasn't much, if any, fat in that one eighty she weighed. "Hi, you must be Elena. I'm glad you could make it so quickly. I'm Kenny. Your Aunt Gerta is like an aunt to me too. Did you ride your motorcycle here from Lincoln?" Luckily Hans and Gerta came out of the kitchen to rescue me from her about then. Hans had let her in, then went into the kitchen to fetch Gerta. It didn't take too long to figure out that Elena wasn't as fond of her Uncle Hans as I was. "Hey Gerta, long time. Mom says hello. What's this about a live in job for me? You know I'm not going to be some rich asshole's maid, right?" "Elena, don't spoil this by showing everybody you have such a smart mouth right away. You aren't going to shock anyone by it anyway. The last girl who had the job you're applying for, was a whore, fresh off the streets." Gerta had used her no nonsense voice with her niece. "How is your mama? The arthritis still bothering her?" "She's good. It's only the winter time when the arthritis gets bad. Tell me about this job." "First, you would work directly for me. The job is to do whatever I tell you. Sometimes, that would mean working in the kitchen, with me. Mrs. Parsons is the lady who owns this house. She's a nice lady, and sometimes, she needs help. Help with everything, until she starts feeling stronger again. Your job then, is to help her." "What's the matter with her? Isn't she the one who gets depressed all the time?" While she was speaking, Mrs. Parsons came walking out of the library. "Hello, Elena, I'm Roberta Parsons. I think we three should retire to the library, and get better acquainted. I see you've already met Kenny. He is my foster son, and it was his idea to bring you down here for a visit, to see if we'd all be compatible. Come, Kenny. Gerta, please make us a pitcher of iced tea, and then have Hans bring it to the library when it's ready." With that, she turned and walked over to the library, not waiting to see whether Elena agreed to follow or not. My immediate feeling was that she didn't really care whether Elena came to the library or she didn't. I turned too, following right behind her. When I got to my regular chair, I sat down in it. Mrs. Parsons sat on the little settee, across from a small coffee table. After a minute, Elena came in and slouched down into Bea's old chair. "If you want to live and work in my home Elena, you're going to need to show me some respect. Your aunt and uncle have worked here since I was a child. I love them both, and consider them a part of my family. I won't have anyone working for me that I don't like. Gerta told me that you were a sweet girl, but sweet isn't what I'm seeing from you." "My mother told me that Aunt Gerta had called her. She said there was a job down here for me. All I asked her was what kind of job it was." "Since I will be your employer, I'll explain your duties. Is that satisfactory?" "I won't know until I hear what they are." "I have melancholia, or depression, if you prefer. Sometimes, it becomes so severe that I am temporarily unable to care for any of my needs. During those times, I require the assistance of someone to help me with almost everything. Yesterday, Kenny came home from school and found me in a state of extreme depression. I hadn't taken care of any element of my personal care or hygiene. He helped me as much as he was able to, and did a wonderful job too. Unfortunately, him seeing me in that state is more than I can tolerate. Your job, if I should become incapacitated again, and I certainly will, is to care for my hygienic needs and to see to it that my grooming suffers as little as is possible. You look strong enough to do whatever might be required physically. I'm wondering if you have the requisite skills to attend to my personal grooming needs. I like my hair styled as it is, and my makeup to be in place, much like it is at this moment. I like to wear clean, unsoiled clothing, at all times, no matter how incapacitated I might become. Does that give you enough of an idea of what my needs are?" "How much does this job pay, and what kind of living quarters would I have? Do I get to eat free too?" "Fair questions. The last girl who held the position was paid two hundred dollars a week. She lived in a large bedroom next to your Aunt's apartment. She ate with the family, unless there were too many other guests. Your Aunt Gerta is a terrific cook." "Two hundred isn't that much for as much work as you're describing. Of course, if the room is nice and the food is free, maybe it's enough. Did Gerta tell you anything about my lifestyle preferences?" "She mentioned that you ride a motorcycle and are a lesbian." "Do you have a problem with either?" "Do you find me irresistibly attractive?" "Not hardly. Sorry." "Good. I am married, and not in the least interested in exploring any of the sapphic arts, with anyone." "Suppose I hate doing this? Can I just quit, without it jamming up Gerta and Hans?" "Certainly. I'm serious about Gerta and Hans being part of our family. Nothing you can do will harm them in any way. Kenny, do you have any questions of Elena?" "Yes. Can you take me for a ride on your motorcycle?" "We'll see. Is that it?" "No. If you take me for a ride, I'll tell you about these three girls I know that like other girls." "You think I have a problem finding my own girlfriends?" "Not really. I was hoping to get you going with someone before you met my girlfriend." Elena laughed. We got up, and I took her over and showed her to her new bedroom. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 29 Mrs. Parsons was feeling a lot better, but still, she wanted to wait until the next day to go to the country club with me. After Elena decided to take the job, she left on her motorcycle to get her belongings. She told me that she had a green '63 Ford pick up that she'd be moving her stuff with. After she left, I went into the kitchen to have something to eat. Gerta was happy about a few things. She was glad that Elena had accepted the job, and that Mrs. Parsons was doing well again. She told me that we would be having a big dinner at seven, baked red snapper, filled with a Creole stuffing. This was a favorite meal for Mrs. Parsons. After Gerta fixed me some sandwiches and milk, I went out back, looking for Hans. I found him in front of the garage, giving the limo a tune up. "Hans, Brenda said she wants to sneak up to my room tonight, to spend the night. Her parents think she's going to be at her girlfriend's house. She needs a ride over here tonight." "What do you want, Kenny?" "I don't want any more trouble with her father. I also don't want Brenda and me to wind up like Bea and I did. I really like Brenda, a lot, like a real girlfriend. Bea was different. I liked her, but not as a girlfriend." "You don't just want to fuck her? Is that what you mean?" "I don't know. I want us to be different. I like doing stuff with her, but when I do it, it makes her seem more like Bea to me. I really want her to just be my girlfriend. Except, when I'm near her, I want to do all the other stuff too. I can't explain it too good." "It sounds like love to me, and you're too young to go falling in love with your very first girlfriend. In the beginning, you see your new girl as perfect in every way. You think she is everything good. No one can live up to that, Kenny. You have to treat her like a regular girl, accept her the way she really is. If you don't, you'll both be hurt and disappointed. Tell me some things that you already know about her. Things you don't like about her." "Money, that's almost the only thing she thinks about when it comes to which boy she's going to love and marry. Plus, she has this friend that I'm worried she listens to too much." "Money is important. Maybe it is better that it's only money she's after. Suppose all she was interested in was football players, or tennis players? Some girls like boys for the cars they drive, or the clothes they wear. If she likes money, maybe she is smarter than most of those others. Look at her mother. She could have had Bunny, but she went for the good looks and the football hero instead. This friend, is it a girl or a boy?" "She's a girl, but she's pretty wild, and I'm worried that Brenda might listen to her advice." "You're jealous, you mean? It could happen, but whether it does or doesn't happen, there isn't anything you can do to change that. You have to let her make her own choices. If she really likes you, she will only be wild with you." "Do you think I should let her come over and spend the night?" "It isn't my place to make that decision. You have to decide for yourself." I looked at him, thinking that he wasn't being very helpful. I went back inside and sat down at the kitchen table, watching Gerta making the stuffing for the red snapper. She had everything in a big bowl, and was squeezing things together with her bare hands. I saw her break two eggs, and then use her hands to mix it all together. It didn't look like anything I'd like to eat right then, but I knew it was going to be delicious later, after she took it out of the oven. The fish itself was laying on her big cutting board already. I knew she was going to fill it with her stuffing first, and then put the left over stuffing all over the sides of the fish, before putting it in the refrigerator until it was time to cook it. "Gerta, do you think I should sneak Brenda into my bedroom tonight? Her parents are letting her spend the night at her girlfriend's house." Gerta kept working on the stuffing. I was getting ready to ask her again when she finally decided to answer me. "Better you ask Mrs. Parsons that question, Kenny. This is her house. Do you think she would approve?" "No." "I don't think so either. Gerta isn't like Bea, Kenny. If you were asking this question of Bea, she'd tell you yes, and probably offer to help you sneak her up to your room. Bea is gone. If you want to do the things that Bea would do, you have to decide to do them on your own. I can't help you that way." I got up and went into the library, but there wasn't anything on television. I decided to go up to my room, to make a phone call, to see if Brenda was at Emily's house yet. "Carstairs residence, Emily speaking." "Hi, Emily, this is Kenny. Is Brenda there yet?" "Hi, Kenny. No, she isn't coming until three o'clock. Are you really sending a car for her tonight?" "No. Has she been teasing you again?" "She said it was all arranged, and that she was going to visit you for a couple hours before going back home." "I talked to her earlier, and she said she was leaving for your house over an hour ago." "I just finished talking to her, right before you called here. She's at home." "Okay, I'll call her there. Thanks. Nice talking with you, bye." "Don't hang up, Kenny. Is she coming over to your house tonight, or not?" "If she is, I don't know about it. I'll call her. Maybe it was supposed to be a surprise for me." "If it was, don't tell her I told you, okay?" "Okay. See you." I dialed over to Brenda's house, and Richard answered the phone. "May I speak to Brenda?" "She left." "May I speak to your mother, then?" "Hold on a minute, I think I just heard Brenda. I thought she left already." He put the receiver down hard, but I already had it away from my ear. I was going to have to do something to get Richard to quit being such a dick with me. "Kenny?" "Hi, Brenda. Would you like to come over here for dinner tonight? We can watch some television and talk after." "I told you I'm going to Emily's Kenny." "Hans could come get you, and then drive you home after." "I'm spending the night at Emily's, Kenny." "All right. Do you want me to call you tomorrow?" "Kenny, it's already all set." There was a pleading tone when she said this to me. "It isn't all set with me. If you want to spend some time with me, come over for dinner. I don't want to do any of that other plan you have." "Call me at three thirty over at Emily's house. I wish you'd think about what I want for once. Goodbye." I had Hans drive me over to the club at around two thirty. I hit practice balls until five o'clock. It felt good to be doing something with a golf club again. I was able to forget about my problems with Brenda and just concentrate on making the golf ball go in the direction I wanted it to. I wound up hitting two big buckets of balls, and I got a small blister on the heel of my hand. When I took my clubs back to the pro shop to be put away, I showed the guy behind the counter my blister, and he told me I was holding the club wrong, probably too tightly, or else it was slipping in my hand. I told him that I'd ask Dave to look at my grip the next time I saw him. I was back home a little after five thirty. Gerta told me that Brenda had phoned me three different times. I went upstairs and called over to the Carstairs house. When Brenda came to the phone, she was already pretty mad at me. She told me that I had agreed to phone her at three thirty. I told her that I hadn't agreed to do it, and that if she kept trying to force me to do things I didn't want to be doing, we were going to have big problems. "This isn't what I wanted to happen today, Kenny. I didn't want us to spend the day fighting, and being mad at each other." "I'm not mad at you, you're the one that's mad, and you're only mad because I'm not doing what you want me to." "I already explained that this might be our only chance, Kenny. You never told me why you don't want to. Now, I'm wondering if you even meant it when you told me that you loved me." "Brenda, I've already gone through this type of thing with experts, okay? I don't feel guilty, and nothing you are going to say is going to make me feel guilty. I don't want to be sneaking around like you wanted us to do. If you like to sneak around, you may as well go find someone else who enjoys it too, because I don't enjoy it, and I won't ever enjoy it." "How did my wanting to spend time with my boyfriend turn into me being accused of sneaking around?" "I guess when you decided that you could pretend to be at your girlfriend's house when you were planning on coming up to my room and spending the night in bed with me. Brenda, don't try to pretend that you don't think this is sneaking around. If you want to spend the night with me, you have to get permission from your parents, and I'd need to ask Mrs. Parsons if it was all right." "Did you ask her if it was all right for Hans to sneak me into the limo with you?" "No, but I didn't have to tell anyone any lies to do that either, did I? I asked Hans before I told you that he would pick you up." "It was still sneaking." "Okay. I guess I think sneaking is all right, as long as there's no lying involved." "I think you think anything is all right, if it gets you what you want. When I want something though, you have different rules." "Brenda, I didn't call you just to argue with you. I'm sorry you didn't want to come over for dinner. Do you want me to call you tomorrow morning, or not?" "Are you staying home Monday too?" "Yes, it's a school holiday. I have to be back Monday night at eight though, an hour earlier than usual. "Emily and Gary are going out to the club with me tomorrow. We're going to swim, and then have lunch there. I thought you could come and buy us all lunch, and meet Emily and Gary." "I might be playing golf tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I will, or what time, if I do play. How old is Gary, anyway?" "I think he's either ten, or else, maybe, he just turned eleven. Emily is fourteen, the same age as me. She wants to ride out to your school with us in the limo sometime, so she can meet all those boys too." "They don't usually all come out like that. They were only there to get a look at you." "Really? All of them came to see me?" "They were hoping you looked hideous, so they could tease me about it." "That's not very flattering. That's insulting, to both of us." "True, but we had the last laugh, didn't we?" "How?" "Now that they saw how beautiful you are, they're all green with envy." "You're just trying to get out of me being mad at you." "Brenda, you need to learn to believe the things I tell you. If you don't, we're going to keep having these problems." "Kenny, if you think about it, and, if you're honest, you'll see which one of us gets their own way the most often. You only want to do the things you want to do, and, mostly, I go along with it." "Okay, I'll think about it." I tried to think of all the times we had fought or argued, but it didn't seem to me like it was a pattern of me having to have my way. Our first big fight came when I didn't want to ask club employees about what her brother had been doing to get his club privileges suspended. The second big fight was when I wanted to touch her and she thought it was so she could pay me back for buying her all those lunches. The next big one was the time I questioned her about whether she was a virgin. I knew that she wasn't going to be swayed by any argument based on the facts. This was an emotional thing with her. She was convinced that it was my fault when we didn't get along, that I was the one who was being unreasonable. "What do I ask you to do that you don't want to do? What have you gone along with?" "Like right now. You decide you don't want to do what I'm suggesting, and I have to just go along with it." "If you had asked me before you did all of your planning, I would have saved you all that trouble. You went ahead and made those plans without consulting with me." "It was supposed to be a surprise for you. If I asked you, you wouldn't be surprised." "I don't like surprises. I don't like lying, and I mostly don't like anyone trying to force me to do something I've already said I wouldn't do." "What are my parents going to think when I come home tonight instead of in the morning?" "I don't know. What would they think if they found out you'd spent the night in my bed?" "They wouldn't find out." "If they did though?" "My dad would probably kill you, and I'd be grounded forever." "He'd be out of business then, and Mr. and Mrs. Parsons would be ashamed that I'd taken advantage of them. There are too many bad things that would happen if we did get caught." "We might not get another chance like this." "Brenda, you can't really believe that. Monday, I'm riding back to school. I could leave at six o'clock, instead of seven fifteen." "So?" "So, Hans could pick you up at the same place, and drop you off there on the way back. We don't need to tell lies or do anything that's dangerous." "You don't think my father would be just as mad if he found out what we already did in the limo?" "Not as mad as he would be if he found out you lied to him about going to Emily's, so you could sneak over to my bedroom. Don't lie to him, it isn't really necessary." "Suppose he asks me where I'm going?" "Telling him you're going out for a walk, to see if you can run into any of your friends." "How about if he asks me what I did after I get back home?" "What do you think you'd tell him?" "I know what I'd tell him. I'm wondering what you think I should tell him?" "I don't know. I'd tell him I went for a walk I guess." "You know, Kenny. You just don't want to admit it. Sometimes, you have to tell your parents lies." "I never told my parents a lie, never." "Because you never had any parents." "Everybody has parents, I just don't remember mine." "So, you think I should just go home and tell them I didn't want to sleep here tonight?" "When are they coming back?" "They didn't say, but probably not before nine tonight. My dad is trying to talk Uncle Robert into coming to work for him. They'll be drinking too." "Can you stay at Emily's?" "I'd have to ask her, and then she'd need to get her parents permission. I'd rather just go home instead." "Should I call you in the morning?" "Why do you keep asking me that? I told you to call me here at three thirty, but you called me when it was almost six o'clock. It doesn't matter what time I ask you to call, because you'll just call me whenever you get ready to." "You call me then. Anytime after eight o'clock." "You never said about all of us having lunch together tomorrow." "I said I didn't know when I'd be done playing golf. I'm not sure we're even going to play yet." "Emily wants to meet you." "That's fine. If I'm available for lunch, I'd be happy to take you to lunch." "What about Gary and Emily?" "Sure, them too." "Call me as soon as you know if you'll be able to take us to lunch or not, Kenny. Did you mean it about me riding back to school with you?" "Sure, why not?" "Can Emily come too?" "Is she going to watch us, or will she be participating too?" "That isn't funny. She said she wanted to go out to the school with us." "There won't be that much to see, but, if you want her to come along, I don't mind." "You don't even care, do you?" I was trying to think up an answer to her question when she hung up on me. I held the phone in my hand for a few minutes before I remembered to put it back in the cradle. One of us was crazy, but I wasn't sure which one of us it was. At dinner, we ate in the kitchen with Hans and Gerta. Elena came back at around eight thirty, and everyone except Mrs. Parsons helped her unload her stuff and put it in her room. Her truck was a step side pickup, with a floor shifter and a clutch. Elena carried all of the heavy stuff, but I carried a lot of her clothes, and some of her smaller book boxes. When we were all finished moving her things in, Mrs. Parsons asked all of us to join her in the library for a welcoming drink. Mrs. Parsons had a highball, Elena and Hans had beers, and Gerta and I drank some ice teas. "You may take a few days to get settled in, Elena. When you are ready, Gerta will show you how you may best assist her." "I never asked you before, but will I be able to entertain here, or do I have to go elsewhere?" "Entertain?" Mrs. Parsons gave her a quizzical look. Hans was grinning, and Gerta looked concerned. "Yes, like bring friends over for a visit?" "I'm not sure. Hans and Gerta don't entertain. It hasn't ever come up. Do you do a lot of entertaining?" "I'm not talking about having parties, Mrs. P., just one friend stopping over in my room." "A female friend? All night?" "Never mind, I think you've already answered the question." "No, you're right. That's your room, Elena. You have a perfect right to have friends visit. You'll need to practice a certain amount of restraint outside your room though. It really has never come up before. Bea, the last girl we had in your place, didn't bother making her own friends outside the house." "I heard about her. Don't worry, Mrs. P., all your men will be safe around me." There was a silence in the room. We all waited to see how Mrs. Parsons was going to react to what Elena had said. Mrs. Parsons didn't say anything. She finished off her drink, stood up, and then wished all of us a goodnight. After she left, Gerta started in on Elena, telling her she better be more careful about the things she said to Mrs. Parsons. Elena just listened, but she didn't make any reply either. "How about you Slick, you got anything you want to warn me about?" She was looking at me as she tilted up her beer glass and took a healthy swallow. "I can't think of anything, not right now. I hope you like it here and treat Mrs. Parsons good. She's a nice lady, and she deserves to be well treated. If you take good care of her, I'll be happy." "Do you really know three girls that like girls? I'm surprised there's that many that are 'out' in this little burg." "I know three, but I bet there's more than that. Bea had one girl that she did sex things with. Bea knew all about those things." "Tell me about this girlfriend of yours. Is she cute?" I guess she saw the worry on my face, because she laughed, and then she got up and handed her empty beer glass to Gerta before heading off to her room. To me, she looked big, and a little bit dangerous. I watched her walk out of the library, and she seemed like she was trying to walk like a man, rather than how a woman walks. I wondered what Mr. Chalmers was going to think the first time he saw her. That reminded me that I was supposed to call him ever since I got home. I went up to my room and found his card. It was after nine, but I dialed his home phone anyway. He picked up on the second ring. "Kenny, good of you to call me. I just got off the telephone with Bea, she sends you her best wishes. She's in Los Angeles, but she was a little vague when I asked her what she was planning on doing. How's Bertie? Gerta said she wasn't eating or drinking anything." "No, she is feeling a lot better now. She hired a woman to help her when she needs assistance. It's Gerta's niece, a girl named Elena. Wait until you meet her." "Elena? Isn't that Ilse's daughter? Is she there already?" "Yes, she just got back, and moved all her things into Bea's old room. Do you know her already?" "Not really. Gerta showed me pictures of her when she was a child. She's all grown up now?" "Yeah. I think Gerta said she's twenty two now. She's big too." "Big like Gerta?" "Big like 'The Hulk'." "Really? I remember her as being rather delicate looking in her photos. Bertie is doing better though? The reason I'm asking is that I was planning on coming out to visit her tomorrow, but if she's doing well, I have other plans I'd rather not have to cancel. I trust your judgment though. Do I need to come out there or not?" "I think she's going to be fine. She had Gerta worried because she wasn't eating or drinking or responding to her. She's eating and drinking and just like her normal self now." "That is outstanding, Kenny, really outstanding. Did Gerta tell you what she did to effect the change in Bertie?" "Just let her know she was loved, and that she was safe here." "Yes, but how did Gerta get through to her? Usually, I'm the only one who can do that when she gets withdrawn as much as Gerta described to me." "I guess it was from me talking to her about my school, and before, when I lived at St. Cecelia's. We both like to hide in the same place, but she goes deeper into there than I ever did." "Oh, Kenny. You and I have to really have a talk one of these days. This is exciting news for me. Totally unexpected news. Can I ask how long it took you to have her respond to you?" "I'm not sure. She started responding first by stopping her story, or whatever she was saying, after I started talking to her. I guess it was more than an hour before she asked me a question, but I knew she was listening, almost from the start of me talking to her." "An hour? You can't mean just one hour? Was she drinking before this?" "When I found her, she'd been sitting in a corner of Mr. Parson's bedroom for a long time, with a towel over her head. She didn't even get up to go to the bathroom." "Kenny, this is fantastic, really remarkable. She responds like that to just your voice, after so little time together? I'd like to come out sometime, and watch what you do. It takes me at least eight to ten hours to even begin to start her coming back when she hides inside herself like that. This could be a real lifesaver for all of us. I'm always afraid that she will get so far inside that she'll never find her way back." "What is the story she keeps trying to tell me?" "Bertie has always blamed herself for our mother's passing. Her story, as you call it, is her accepting responsibility for my mother's drowning. It was nonsense to all of the rest of the family, but Bertie carries this fixation that her 'spells' caused the drowning." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 30 Sunday, Mrs. Parsons was feeling good, and we went out and played eighteen holes of golf together. We teed off at ten thirty, and finished up at three o'clock. We were behind two other foursomes, and it was the foursome in front that was slowing everyone down. While we waited, I tried to keep Mrs. Parsons focused on her learning center idea, rather than on the slow pace we were able to play golf. After golf, I walked over to the pool area while Mrs. Parsons was in the pro shop talking with Dave. I saw Brenda with another girl, probably Emily, I guessed, and a young boy, no more than eleven. They were sitting together on three lounge chairs and talking. I approached them and waited for Brenda to notice me standing there. The girl was pretty, but thin and delicate looking. Her skin was pale, and her dark brown hair was curly like Brenda's, but longer. Her brother had the same hair as she did. On her, it was cute, but it didn't fit him nearly as well. He wasn't as thin, but he looked like someone who didn't play outdoors very much. It was the other girl who noticed me first. She turned to Brenda. "Is that him?" Brenda turned and saw me for the first time. She smiled at me, then got up and came over to give me a kiss. She took my hand and led me over to the girl. "Em, this is Kenny. He was supposed to be the one that was going to be buying our lunches today. Why are you so late, Kenny?" "We got caught behind some real slow players. Nice to meet you Emily." As soon as I said that, Brenda started dragging me over to meet Gary Carstairs, Emily's brother. He stood up, and we shook hands after being introduced. He was pretty tall for eleven years old, easily five six or five seven. I found out that both Emily and her brother had gotten Amoebic Dysentery over in some small town in Portugal, from drinking the water there. Emily and Gary's parents were planning on staying in Europe for a whole year, but they came back after their children got sick. Emily's father was a writer, and he had been doing research for a book he was writing about the Holy Crusades. We talked together for about fifteen minutes, until I saw Mrs. Parsons coming out of the pro shop. I excused myself and walked over to tell her that Brenda was in the pool area, and that I wanted to stay for awhile and spend some time with her. She told me that she was ready to leave then, and for me to call and let Hans know when I was ready to be picked up. I walked back over to the pool area, wishing that I'd brought my bathing suit with me. I sat with them, talking about school, answering questions that Emily asked about how many boys there were. She seemed most interested in the boys of 'Spicamore Hall'. From comments that Gary made, it seemed that Emily was attracted to European boys. I told her what I knew, but a lot of the students were from the Middle East, South America, and Japan. Most were either juniors or seniors, who were trying to improve their English enough to go to an American University. Most of the Japanese boys had already finished high school, but hadn't scored well enough on their exams to be admitted to a Japanese University. After another half hour had passed, Hans showed up and gave me a bag containing my swim suit. He told me that Mrs. Parsons had asked him to bring it down for me. I thanked him, and then left for the men's locker room to get changed. When I got back, Brenda and Emily were already in the pool together. Gary was sitting in his lounger, reading a book. I went into the pool too, staying in the shallow end. Brenda left Emily and swam over to me. "I'm still mad at you, Kenny, for yesterday. You spoiled my plans for us." She came closer to me, putting her arms around my neck, and sliding her body against me. Since I was in water up to my waist only, anyone could see the way she was pressed up against me. I didn't want to get in more trouble, so I walked out until it was deeper. I was only comfortable in water chest high, since I still couldn't swim. Brenda leaned in even closer, and started kissing me. "Brenda, I'd rather wait until we were some place less public. Do you want to go for a walk somewhere?" "No, I like it right here. I'm just showing Emily that you really are my boyfriend." "Why would she care?" "I don't think she cares, it's more like she doesn't believe me when I tell her how close we are." "How close did you tell her we were?" I saw her frown when I asked her that. "Don't get mad, Kenny, but I told her everything. I know you told me not to, but she told me some of the stuff she did this summer, before she got sick, and I didn't want her thinking that she was more grown up than I was. She isn't going to tell anyone, because she doesn't want me telling on her too." "What do you mean when you say everything?" "You know. Everything we've done. She's done that too, although hers lasted a lot longer than ours did. Paolo, that was her boyfriend's name, didn't do what you do with your tongue though. I told her about that because she was telling me about this time Paolo snuck into her room at the villa her parents were renting in Italy. That was another reason why I wanted us to do things on your bed." "You just aren't going to be satisfied until you ruin your reputation, and wind up getting the both of us in all kinds of trouble, are you?" "I already told you, she did as much as we did. She can't tell on us, not without getting into trouble too." "Not unless she tells someone else, someone who doesn't have anything to get in trouble about. I know you understand this, because that was the first thing you said to me in the limo, when you came to pick me up Friday. You didn't want me talking about you not wearing panties when I talked to my friends at school. This is dangerous Brenda, and it's stupid too. How many times do we have to get into trouble before you learn to keep your mouth shut about what we've done?" I took her arms away from around my neck and started wading over to the side of the pool. When I got to the edge, I lifted myself up out of the water. Brenda was still where I had left her. I stood up then, and when I turned back to where I'd left my towel, Brenda's brother was sitting on it, talking to Emily. I came over and asked him to get off my towel. "Can't you see I'm talking, moron? You can wait a few minutes until I'm done talking, then I'll get up." I didn't like Richard. I hadn't liked him from the first time I met him. I didn't like the way he did things with the phone to stop me from talking to his sister. Besides that, I was in a bad mood from what had just happened with Brenda. I hated the fact that he thought he could just call me a moron without me doing anything about it. Normally, I would have just left the towel there and gone into the member's locker room and gotten another towel. It wasn't really about the towel. When I lived in the orphanage, there were always lots of fights. I hadn't been in a fight in years though, mostly because I'd been older than almost everyone else for the last three or four years I'd lived there. I didn't ever like to fight, but, you had to stick up for yourself when people tried to take your stuff or bully you. It was one thing to take bullying from the nuns, but I wasn't used to taking it from other boys. If Richard hadn't already used up all of my patience with him, before this time, I wouldn't have done anything. I didn't even bother to give it too much thought. I punched him in the face. Not too hard, just enough to let him know I was angry. "Get off my towel now you stupid dick." "Now you've done it, you cocksucker!" Richard got up from the lounger and swung his fist at me. When he missed, he rushed me and wrapped me up in his arms, trying to wrestle me to the ground. I lifted up my knee into his groin area, and he let me out of his grip. "Motherfucker! You kicked me. You're dead meat now, asshole!" I pushed him back, and he got tangled up with his feet and fell backwards over my lounge chair. He was trying to get back up, when some older kids came over and broke things up. I grabbed my towel, and started to walk away, towards the gate. Brenda had gotten out of the pool, and she was staring at me. Emily and Gary were standing also. I waited to see if anyone was going to stop me, or say anything to me, but no one did. Even Richard had stopped saying anything to me. He stood there, his face red and angry, with his hands knotted tightly into fists. I got to the pool gate and left. I changed back into my regular clothes and went upstairs to call Hans. I knew he might not be home yet, because he said he had some errands to run when he dropped off my swim suit. Gerta answered, and told me that Hans hadn't gotten back yet, but she'd send him to get me as soon as he returned. I decided to go out to the parking lot, and then walk down the driveway to the street to wait for him. When I came down from making my phone call, Brenda and Emily were both waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. "Are you just going to leave, Kenny? You can't just speak to me the way you did and walk away before I get a chance to explain." "Explain what? You already explained, and I've already told you what I think of what you did. You've got parents, Brenda. They aren't going to send you back to live in an orphanage if you get into trouble. You do whatever you feel like doing, and it doesn't matter to you about who else gets into trouble. I can't afford to live that way, or to have people around me who don't care about what might happen to me." "I do care. Emily isn't going to say anything. Tell him Emily." "I'm not going to say anything, Kenny." Emily looked upset too. I wondered if Brenda had mentioned to her that she'd shared Emily's secrets as easily with me, as she'd shared ours with Emily. I'd spoken to Hans and Gerta about Brenda, but not about anything that had already happened. If I'd planned on letting Brenda come up to my bedroom the night before, I probably wouldn't have spoken to them about it. "It was nice meeting you Emily. I'm sorry it had to end up like this. It isn't your fault." I looked at Brenda, she was already crying. "Brenda, I'm through talking to you for right now. I can't afford to have you as a girlfriend anymore. It seems like all you care about is whatever has your interest at the moment. I don't want to keep having to deal with the consequences of your actions, or the things you say to people. You better tell your brother to stop calling me names too, because I'm sick of him doing it. Don't call me anymore, and I'll stay away from calling you too." I turned away from both of them, and started walking up to the parking lot area. Brenda and Emily followed behind, and I heard Emily trying to calm Brenda down. "Kenny, you can't do this to me, not for something like this. I promise I won't tell anyone else." I wanted to tell her that it was more than just her talking to Emily, but I really didn't even have it all sorted out in my own head. Part of it was the times she hung up on me, her father's attitude towards me, the feeling that I was already getting too involved in something that was scaring me. Part of it was knowing that I was already spending too much of my time thinking about Brenda, and wanting to do more sex things with her too. I knew there would be more complications down the road, no matter what else might happen. "I'm not ready for all of this, Brenda. There's just too much going on that I'm not used to having to deal with. You and I, it's just too much for me to handle right now. You don't seem to understand how nervous I am about trying to fit in with my new home. I'm not like you. I'm not like any of your friends. I haven't grown up expecting everything to be taken care of for me, like you have. When anyone else has the ability to ruin everything for me, I need to know that they won't do it just because they want to impress their girlfriend." Just as I finished speaking, Elena came riding up the driveway on her motorcycle. Brenda had never seen Elena, and had no idea who she was, so when Elena pulled up alongside of me, asking me if I wanted a ride, Brenda was really surprised when I hopped on the back of her motorcycle. As soon as I was settled, with both arms around her waist, Elena took off and made a u-turn before accelerating away. It took only a few minutes for the ride back to the house. When she pulled up in front, I got off of the motorcycle. "Which one was your girlfriend, Slick?" Elena had fished out a cigarette and got it going using a Zippo lighter. "The one with the copper colored hair." "Really? I would have thought the other one was more your speed. She's all right too, what's her name?" "Brenda. We just broke up." "Tough, Slick, but I meant the other girl, what's her name?" "That's Emily. I don't know much about her though." "How old are those two?" "Fourteen." "Never mind then. I thought the other one might be older, maybe seventeen or eighteen." "There's this girl named Carol that I know. She's nineteen I think. She's the girl that Bea used to like. She's cute too." "How did you like riding the bike?" "It's good. It felt like we were really going fast. When it gets cold though, do you still ride it?" "Not as much, but, unless there's snow on the ground, or ice, I always ride it some. I like the way it feels when the motor is running. It's better than riding a horse that way." I didn't know what she meant. Horses weren't that fast, and they didn't have people riding horses in the streets around Ridgeline. I guess I looked puzzled, because Elena laughed and left me standing there wondering what she had meant. She drove her motorcycle off to the back, towards the garage, and I went through the front door inside the house. Now that I had done it, broken up with Brenda, I started having an emotional reaction to doing it. I went up to my room so that I could be alone with what I was feeling. I had felt bad like that, a few other times when I was a lot younger. Mostly when one of my friends got adopted, and left St. Cecelia's. This was one of the reasons I stopped making new friends. Brenda was like that too, only more than just a friend. I had a sick and empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it was all I could manage to not rush back down the stairs and beg Elena to give me a ride back to the country club. It was only my brain that prevented me from doing just that. I went into my closet and shut the door. With the lights off, I managed to crawl back to the back of the closet and wrap myself up into a tight ball. I started to unwind from Brenda in my mind, pulling myself backwards until she was just someone on the very edge of my awareness. This wasn't difficult for me to do, I had done it many nights at the orphanage. It was simply a matter of willing myself to be alone. Inside this place, I could be calm, because I was safe there. I could think about how I should adjust things to accept losing Brenda. I was breaking connection to her, releasing all the emotional strands that tied the two of us together. I should have known better than to allow myself to love someone. It was sometime before I realized that the connections I had to Brenda weren't all dissolving and going away. Always before, withdrawing like this had worked for me. Maybe not completely, but enough that I could get away from any emotional ties that I'd formed. There had been a sense of comfort from being able to do that. Now that it was failing me, I became agitated and distressed. I felt myself slipping back out from the calm area I had created all around me. I redoubled my efforts, but it was no use. In the end, I was just some boy sitting in a dark room and crying from the pain of losing someone he cared about. I knew why this was happening. If I'd given it any thought at all, I could have predicted that it would happen. It was all these feelings that I'd been indulging in, pretending that I was some normal kid who could afford to go around caring about other people. It was like I had forgotten all the hard lessons I'd learned in St. Cecelia's. It was a mistake I'd made, but I vowed not to repeat it with another girl. I got up and felt my way to the closet door. When I came out into my bedroom again, I went in and took a shower. The spraying water on my head helped me to clear away the last of my weak thoughts about Brenda. I dressed for dinner, coming back downstairs at six forty five. I found Mrs. Parsons sitting in the library, having a drink before dinner. She asked me how my visit with Brenda and her friends had gone. These were almost the first words she had spoken to me when I walked into the library. "It went good. Brenda is starting school on Tuesday. I don't think I'll see her too much after her school starts." "You'll see her on weekends, Kenny. You both will be free on weekends to get together." "I don't think so. She has different friends than I do. We aren't as good of friends as I thought we were." "You better explain what happened. Perhaps I can help you." "It wasn't any one thing. I'm not sure what it was, but now, I think I'd rather not be friends with her anymore." "This is a rather abrupt decision, Kenny. Are you sure it isn't just some small thing that you'll feel differently about later?" "I'm sure. I already told her about it." Mrs. Parsons sipped quietly on her drink, looking at me the whole time. At least fifteen minutes passed by before Gerta came in to tell us that dinner was ready to be served. When we got to the dining room, I was surprised to see Elena wearing a regular dress. I smiled at her when she sat down, but she didn't smile back. I saw her watching Mrs. Parsons to see which silverware to use with the salad and with the main course when it was served. I'd had to learn that too when I first came, but I knew it was all pretty easy. Mrs. Parsons told Elena that she could take Monday off since it was a holiday. I thought this was funny, because Elena hadn't even started working yet, not as far as I could see. Maybe picking me up at the country club was work, but I wasn't sure. After dinner, Gerta told me that Brenda had called for me while we were eating. I thanked her and told her that I wouldn't be accepting any calls from Brenda. She looked at me, but she didn't say anything about it. After dinner, I went up to my room and read for awhile. About nine thirty, Mrs. Parsons knocked on my door, and called my name to let me know who it was. "Are you sure you're all right, Kenny. Sometimes, it helps to talk with somebody when you're having problems like this." "I'm not really having any problem, Mrs. Parsons. It's like when Bea left. I was sorry to see her leave, but, it wasn't that much of a problem for me." "One of the situations that the Mother Superior at the orphanage warned Bunny about, Kenny, was the way you deal with any emotional attachments that you've formed. This is different now. Here, you have support when you are hurting or troubled by anything. You can talk to me when you feel bad about something. You know this, don't you?" "I know. I don't think this is anything I need any help with. At the orphanage, they tried to get me to tell them about my feelings and stuff like that, but I really never had anything to tell them, so they got mad at me. Are you going to get mad at me too?" "No, of course not. I just wanted you to realize that it is different now. All of us here care about you. Your happiness is important to us." "I'd tell you if something was bothering me a lot. I'm sorry that you're worried, but it really isn't anything." "All right. I guess I'll turn in then. If you change your mind, or you just want to talk, you let me know." She let herself out of my bedroom. I waited a few minutes before I got up, locked my door, turned out the lights and got undressed for bed. I lay there quietly for a few minutes, listening for any sounds. When I had heard nothing for a long time, I turned over on my side and started crying. One of the worst things about breaking up with Brenda was knowing that I had once again chosen to be all alone. This time, being alone hurt more than the other times had. There is a hopelessness in being alone. It diminishes you in your own eyes, causing you to value yourself less, and to believe less in your own future. The fact that I had made this decision, did nothing at all to reduce these feelings. I spent all of Labor day in my room, with the exception of having two meals with Mrs. Parsons before having Hans drive me back to the school. I was relieved to be going back to the school. It was much easier for me to keep to myself in the company of people that I wasn't already emotionally attached to. I called Mrs. Parsons several times during the week. On Thursday, I asked her if it would be all right if I spent the weekend at the school instead of coming home. I told her that I felt like I needed the time at the Academy to get caught up on the work I'd missed by starting late. I could tell she wasn't accepting my reason, but she did finally agree to allow me to stay there. I was pretty sure that she thought I was trying to avoid Brenda, but it wasn't that as much as I was trying to avoid being among people that cared about me. I didn't want them to be disappointed in me. I was already disappointed in myself enough for everyone. Sunday morning, Mr. Parsons drove over to the Academy. I didn't realize he had done that until he knocked on the door to our apartment. I was in my bedroom when Nigel opened our door and let him inside. After that, I had to come out when he knocked on my door. "Kenny, let's go. I've gotten permission to take you out of here for awhile. We should talk about whatever it is that's going on with you and Brenda." I came out of the bedroom. I didn't want to talk about Brenda in front of my roommates. I didn't want to talk about Brenda at all, but it looked like I wasn't going to get the choice to not do it. I got better dressed and then opened my door to Mr. Parsons. He looked at my bedroom and I could see he didn't think much of it. It certainly wasn't anything like my room at home. "I didn't know you were coming." "I didn't either until about an hour ago. According to Bunny and Gerta, Bertie is very worried about you. I've gotten a call from Georgia and I got another call this morning from Walt. It's the call from Walt that we need to talk about first. Do you want to do it right here, or should we take a drive somewhere?" "We can go for a drive." "Good answer. There's some things where the fewer people involved in them, the better off everyone is." We stayed quiet until we got into his car and drove off campus. We were traveling fast, away from the school, but not in the direction of Ridgeline. I was afraid we were heading towards Bolling, and St. Cecelia's. "Why don't you just tell me what's been going on, Kenny?" "Nothing has been going on. What do you mean?" "Why is everyone upset over at the Connor house? Why is Walt threatening to wring your neck? How come you suddenly decided to dump Brenda? Did you really punch Richard in the pool area at the club? If you did, why would you pull a foolish stunt like that?" He asked me all those questions, and each one he asked me, brought back all of the things I was trying to get away from. I started hoping he was taking me back to the orphanage. At least there, I had been able to handle all of the things that I needed to. I had a simpler life. "I broke up with Brenda because I was tired of some of the things she kept doing." "I'm with you so far. Kids break up everyday. Normally it's no big deal and the world moves on. Why is this time different? Why are you hiding out here at the Academy, instead of being there at home keeping Bertie company? You have no idea how much that woman can worry, Kenny." "I hit Richard, but he was being a big dick and wouldn't get off my lounge chair when I asked him to." "You hit him for that?" "He called me a moron, and he always does things when I call Brenda. Stupid, mean things, like hanging up, or telling me she isn't there when she really is." "So, that's why you hit him?" "I'm not sure, it was partly that, and partly because I was upset about Brenda." "Did you really have sex with Brenda? I have to know, Kenny, because Walt is threatening to sue us." "I don't think so. Not real sex." "That requires an explanation. Walt says she is no longer a virgin, and that you screwed her in our limo. Did you, or did you not? This seems to me like a fairly simple question to answer, Kenny. You either did or you didn't." "I didn't. It was an accident if I did, because she moved when I was slapping her kitty with my snake, my penis." I saw Mr. Parsons grinning. It looked like this was all a joke to him. "I didn't mean for it to go in her, and I took it out as soon as I could, maybe two seconds it was in her an inch, or maybe two. I had a rubber on too." "You had a condom on your dick, but it was an accident. Kenny, people don't usually wear one of those unless they have carnal intentions." "I was going to play with myself after licking Brenda. It got me hot. That's why I wore the rubber, so I wouldn't make a mess in Hans' limo. He made me clean the seat up after anyway." "Are you telling me that Hans was driving the limo when all this took place?" "He didn't know what I was going to do." "So, Walt is right then. You admit putting your dick in Brenda?" "On accident, for a couple of seconds. I didn't really have sex with her. We didn't mean to do that. It was an accident." After about thirty more questions, I just gave up and told him the truth, from beginning to end. I explained things the way I saw them, not the way Brenda saw them. I told him about what I'd learned from Bea, and even tried to explain why I saw things the way I did. I tried answering all of his questions after I was finished. I didn't try to hide anything, or make it seem better or worse for me. I told the truth, at least the truth, from my perspective. When I was finished telling all of that to him, we both sat in his car quietly. "That's an awful lot for a kid to be carrying around bottled up inside him, Kenny. It makes a kind of sense to me now, what is happening, but, I think you're making the mistake of trying to deal with what is happening now the same way you dealt with things in the life you had before. You aren't still living in an institution, Kenny. Brenda isn't one of the other boys who might get you into trouble with the Mother Superior or one of the other nuns. The thing I don't understand the most is how you can just break things off with her so abruptly, especially when you just got through telling me that you love her." "I didn't want to get in trouble and get sent back to another orphanage. Isn't that what's going to happen now?" "No. Not now, and not ever. You are never going to be sent anywhere you don't want to go, Kenny. Bertie wouldn't allow that, Bunny wouldn't allow it, and I wouldn't allow it either. You've got to get that through your head. If you had more faith in us, you wouldn't have reacted the way you did. What Brenda did, talking to her friend, that's actually a pretty common thing for girls to do. Girls share things like that with each other. It allows them to wallow in the experience. Guys are always bragging too. In a lot of ways, they're worse, because they talk about it whether it actually happened or not. The way I see it, you have three main problems. The biggest one, and this is the one that will take the longest, is that you've got to learn how to trust the people who care for you. The next biggest, is we have to find some way to pacify Walt. I'm not really worried about him suing us. Any lawyer would tell him he doesn't have any type of case. He'd need to drag Brenda's reputation through the mud to collect a penny from any of us. The last, and probably the hardest, from your perspective, is that you need to explain to Brenda what has led up to all of this. She's very upset by this. According to Georgia, she really, truly, loves you. She hasn't been able to leave her room or go to school all week." "Can't I just go back to school instead? I'm not ready yet to handle these types of problems. I'm barely able to balance the other things, like school and living with Mrs. Parsons. It's all different from what I'm used to from the orphanage. I don't understand girls. I don't want to keep getting into trouble, but so many things are happening that I slip up because I don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing. People are all either mad or feeling bad because of what I've done, and I didn't mean for them to get that way." "No, Kenny, you can't just run away and hide. The best way to learn about these things is to face up to them and deal with it. This thing you had with Richard. It wasn't the best way to deal with it, but it was effective. If Brenda is doing things that really bother you, you need to tell her clearly what they are, and tell her to stop. If you do that, and she continues, then you should do what you did. At the time you told her, you had already decided to break things off with her. Things that serious, needs some warning." "She knew, but she did it anyway. Brenda never listens. This wasn't the first thing. She gets mad and hangs up on me, without telling me what I did to deserve it. I think girls need some time to study them before you get too involved with them. I made that mistake with Bea, and then I made the same mistake with Brenda." "Kenny, if you talked to almost any man, you'd find out that you have plenty of company. Women aren't predictable. You could spend your whole lifetime studying them, and probably still wind up not understanding them any more than the next poor slob. Do you think I understand Bertie?" "I understand her a lot better than I do Brenda. Her problems at least make some sense to me." "Bunny hinted as much to me this past week. You've got him all revved up for some reason. I have an inkling, you know. Bertie, Bunny and Gerta think I've never been around when Bertie gets into one of her near catatonic states. They think I always leave before she gets like that. That's what they want to believe, especially Bertie, but, of course, it just isn't true. I do leave when she gets like that, but only because I don't want to shame her. My mother was an alcoholic, Kenny, a bad one, and I learned how much easier it was to pretend not to have seen or noticed certain things. Easier for her. According to Bunny, you have some near magical ability to bring her out of these withdrawn states of hers?" "I just talk to her. Mr. Chalmers does it too. I do what she does too, sometimes, go to a safe place where no one can bother you. She just goes farther than I've ever gone. She's still there though. She knows people are talking to her and she hears what they say." "What you're doing now, Kenny, it's hiding the same way she does. You want to stay at the school, where you're safe, and where you don't have to deal with your problems. If we allow that, you'll never fully function." "My way works for me. I understand that you believe things would be better if I did things differently. You don't seem to understand that what I'm doing right now is the best I can do right now. If I try to do what you want, I'll just mess it up some more. Mrs. Parsons is the same way. She does the best she can right now. She tries to please you, but she can only do what she can do. Asking more of her just makes her feel worse about herself." "What are you willing to do to help change this situation?" "I'm trying to learn how to get along better with people. I think I'm doing better, and I know I'm trying harder. People are harder than other things. Golf is hard, but it doesn't try to make you do anything. People aren't like that. They need you to do things the way they want you to. I'm willing to tell Mr. Connor, Richard and Brenda that I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to do things the way they want me to do them." "Do you trust any of us, Kenny? Even a little bit?" "I trust you and Mrs. Parsons, Mr. Chalmers, Hans and Gerta. Maybe not completely, but more than I've ever trusted anyone else. I trusted Brenda too, but not anymore." "Mrs. Parsons is home right now, lying beneath a blanket in her closet. She hasn't come out since Thursday night. Bunny has been in with her since last night, but he told Gerta he can't reach her this time. I've listened to Bunny for all these years, mostly because he could always reach her when she got this withdrawn from reality. He could bring her back. He thinks she's waiting for you to come to get her and bring her back. I know it isn't fair to ask you to do this, Kenny, but, if you do manage to bring her back, Bunny and I will handle these other problems, whichever way you need to have them handled." "You don't need to do that. I would try to help her for nothing. She's done a lot for me. More than anybody else ever has. I don't know if I can help her, but I'll try." Mr. Parsons made a left turn, and then cut across this road I'd never been on before. He drove about three miles before he turned left again. Five minutes later we were at the house. I could have sworn we'd been going in an entirely different direction. "You go in, Kenny. I'm going back to the apartment. Get Hans to drive you back. Tell Bunny to call me as soon as something happens. Tell him to call me either way. I know you'll do your best, Kenny." As soon as I walked in the house, Gerta went upstairs and got Mr. Chalmers. I had never seen him looking so tired, or so sad. "Kenny, good of you to come. I'm afraid this time Bertie might have gone too deep. I'd like to stay sometime and witness what you do, but not this time. She needs to come back now. Go up and do what you can for Bertie, Kenny. I can't begin to tell you what it would mean to me to have to put her in an institution. I promised her, and I promised myself, that it would never come to that. I've done all I can do, and she hasn't responded to anything. If you can't do anything, I'll be forced to call an ambulance." I went up the stairs, into her suite, then into her closet. The light was on, and she was huddled under a blanket, laying on her side. She wasn't moving at all, and, unlike the last time, she wasn't crying, or making any noises at all. "Mrs. Parsons, it's Kenny. I came home to see you. Can you hear me?" I spoke with her for several hours, and nothing happened, I got no response from her at all. Mr. Chalmers came in after the three hours I'd been talking to her and wanted to know if she was responding to my voice in any way. I told him she wasn't, and he turned and walked away. I got up and closed the closet door and turned off the light. I crawled back over to her and took off the blanket. She wasn't wearing any clothes under the blanket. I moved both of us over to the back wall and pulled her close to me, my back against the wall, and her back against my chest. I had my arms around her waist. In a way, I envied her. I was sure that she'd found a place where it was so peaceful, that she didn't want to return. Mr. Parsons and Mr. Chalmers could never understand the pull of a place like that. It wouldn't be all that attractive to them. I understood it, mostly because I'd tried to reach that place at least a thousand times. I'd never even gotten close, but she was there. I'd run out of ideas for things for me to say to her. It probably didn't matter what I said, not if she had gone to that special place she had been searching for. I quit talking to her and just held her. I felt the tears come streaming down my cheeks. I wasn't crying for her, I was crying for me. We stayed like that for sometime. Finally I felt the muscles in her stomach tensing, where before they had been completely relaxed. This was the first reaction since I'd been in there with her. I recognized it as a signal that she was coming back. I held her the same way I'd been holding her, waiting to see if she'd fight her way back on her own. After half an hour, I felt her stomach muscles relax again. She had stopped trying to come back. Maybe I should have talked to her when I felt her stomach tensing, helped her to find her way back. Suppose she wasn't like me? Maybe she didn't want to give up and go somewhere that was always safe and warm. I had to get her back at least once more, and then ask her. "Mama?" As soon as I spoke the word, I felt her body tense, and she expelled a deep breath and breathed in deeply again. I must have jerked in surprise, but I felt her hand trying to move towards where I held her waist. I felt her coming fully back from wherever it was that she had gone to. Her body began to lose it's limpness and to resume normal levels of tension and resistance. "Say it again, Kenny. What you called me before." "I'm glad you came back for me, Mama. I needed you. I love you." She was hugging me, and I was hugging her, we were celebrating together when Gerta and Mr. Chalmers opened the closet door and turned on the light. If either of them noticed that she didn't have any clothes on, or that her front was all wet from my tears, they didn't mention it to anyone. It wasn't important, not compared to the fact that my mother was back with us again. To me, to her and to everyone else in that room, she was now my mother, and I was now her son. In the darkness of that closet, we had found the bridge we both needed to cross the gap that separated us. That night was a turning point for both of us. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 31 Mr. Chalmers helped me with my mother, moving her into her bedroom, Gerta followed close behind us. The three of us spent the next hour with her, Uncle Bunny (that's what he asked me to call him) telling mama how difficult it had been for the two of us to bring her back this time. I decided to ask her about the place she went to. "Did you want to come back to us?" She looked at me for a minute, and then closed her eyes before speaking. "Kenny, that is too hard for me to answer. Going there is the way I imagine drowning would be, because I really have to fight hard before I reach a point where I cease to struggle. It isn't good or bad, it just is. At the end, when I was wherever I go, I lost my way back, and it became difficult to find all of you again. I almost heard you Bunny, I was aware that you were looking for me. I tried a few times, but I couldn't leave where I was. It isn't something that I choose to do, Kenny, and I realize that these episodes are coming closer together now, and that I've completely lost the ability to return on my own." "You can't go there anymore, it's too dangerous for you now, Bertie. We almost lost you this time. I had to call Tommy to go pick up Kenny from school." Uncle Bunny was crying too now, but a lot of it was his relief from the all night stress that he'd been under. I held my mother's hand, just squeezing it now and then, to let her see that I was still there with her. It was less than half an hour before she fell asleep. The two of us went down stairs together. Uncle Bunny was telling me about how bad he felt about sending Mr. Parsons to bring me back to the house to try to reach mama and get her to try to return to us. "Kenny, what happened with you and the Connor girl? Gerta says her family has been phoning over here, five or six times a day, demanding to speak with Bertie or Tommy about you. Is it something that I need concern myself with? As your attorney, I mean?" While Gerta had us eat the pork rib dinner she'd prepared, I told Uncle Bunny about everything that had happened to me with Brenda, including the problems I had gotten into with Richard, and both of Brenda's parents. I explained to him how I felt about things, and how I didn't want to cause any more trouble for any of them. When I told him what had happened in the limo on the way back from school, he laughed and said something that sounded a lot like "Hans hasn't changed any." I told him my reasoning behind my decision to not stay friends with Brenda. I also told him what Mr. Parsons had told me about needing to not run away from my problems, because that didn't solve anything, and wouldn't teach me how to interact better with people. "I might need to disagree with Tommy about that. I'm not sure he understands how new and different all of this is to you. You need more time to adjust and acclimate yourself to this radical change in lifestyles. Given the history of your interaction thus far with Brenda, I'm not certain that your solution isn't as good as what Tommy is suggesting. If you are in love with her, as you believe yourself to be, you'll find it difficult to implement your current planned course of action. In any event, at your age, these situations often seem more critically important than they turn out, in fact, to be. My advice is to do whatever your instincts are telling you to do. At the very least, this relationship is going to be a profound complication for you, right now." "Are you my lawyer telling me this, or my uncle?" "Why, I'm both, Kenny. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm simply offering my advice to you. With matters of the heart, the final decision always rests with you." After we finished eating, Uncle Bunny drove me back to the school. Before we left, he called Mr. Parsons and told him that mama was sleeping, and seemed in reasonably good spirits. "Tommy, Kenny and Bertie have bonded in a way that I can only term remarkable. They are now truly mother and son. You needed to know this, as it will affect the way they relate with each other." Uncle Bunny listened for a minute or two, and then he signaled me to come to him and take the phone receiver from him. "Kenny, I hear that you were successful in bringing Bertie back. That is excellent news, and you've managed to do something important for all of us, something that I've never even had the nerve to attempt. Thank you. I've given thought to that other matter that we spoke of, the Connor situation. Tell me what you've decided you want done there. I'll try to get accomplished whatever you decide you want to happen there." "I spoke to Uncle Bunny, and he says that maybe I'm not ready for Brenda yet, that I'll have to be the one that decides. He says for me to go with my instincts." "Does that mean you want to hide out at that school, and just hope everything dies down on its own?" "No, I won't be hiding there, but I still don't think I want to keep on with Brenda, not the way things were going. She doesn't listen to what I tell her, then she expects me to know what she wants without me being told. I don't want to keep arguing like this with her. Even if it doesn't mean that I'll be sent away, I don't like all the arguments and the fighting. I don't want to spend all my time thinking about what's going to go wrong next." "All right Kenny, put Bunny on the line. We'll do this your way. You are coming home on Friday though?" "I'm planning on it. Are you going to be here too?" "I think I better be there. Bunny told me that there are going to be some changes, and I need to see these for myself." Uncle Bunny and Mr. Parsons spoke for a few more minutes, before he hung up, and we went out to his car. We drove out to the school in silence. When we got there, Uncle Bunny turned off the ignition of his car. "Kenny, I need to get some things clarified for my own peace of mind before you go back inside. Are you aware of the instructions Tommy relayed to me after the two of you finished speaking on the phone?" "No, he didn't tell me what he was going to talk to you about." "It concerned this situation with Walt Connor and Brenda. Tommy told me I was to take any steps necessary, subject to your approval of them, to get their whole family to leave you alone. You are already aware of the business relationship that Consolidated Foods has with Walt's company?" "I know they buy things from him. Different ingredients." "Tommy has recommended that I meet with Walt, after Tommy takes steps appearing to threaten to sever this relationship. Following that, in the event Walt doesn't agree to cease all his hostile words and threats toward you, Tommy will sever them, completely and irrevocably. He told me to first check with you before contacting Walt. This is what I am doing now. Is this what you want?" "No. I don't want anyone hurt because of me. Can't you just convince him to let it go?" "Walt isn't a reasonable man. It isn't part of his natural behavior. Tommy says he can be hammered into submission, or coerced into complying, but not reasoned with. I'm inclined to agree with this assessment. He is a man given to bluster though, prone to outbursts and loud complaints over any perceived injustice done to him. The notoriety is what Tommy wants to avoid from this incident. My advice is that you authorize me to do whatever it takes to neutralize his harmful potential towards us." "I really don't want Brenda to be made poor because of this, Uncle Bunny. Can you threaten him, and then not do anything if he doesn't do what you want?" "Not a good tactic for us to employ, Kenny, because empty threats are worse than none at all. Walt isn't emotionally stable enough for us to anticipate what he might do if we simply threaten him. Tommy wants to place an order for the new grain increase with Walt's largest competitor. Word of that would get back to Walt immediately. The short term impact on his business would be slight, but the long term threat would be unmistakable. I would then be in a position to contact him with an offer to try to broker the truce between our two families." "Wouldn't it be a whole lot easier to just let him stay mad at me?" "For the short term, the answer is yes, but not for the long term. Walt is supposed to be a loyal team player. Sometimes, he forgets which side he is supposed to be on. This is just one more instance of that. I grant you that this time he would seem to have something of a legitimate reason for being upset. If he had just limited his angry protests to the immediate participants, we wouldn't have a problem with these outbursts of his. Unfortunately, Walt has chosen a much wider audience for his broadcasts. It isn't just a local incident, involving Walt and his youngest child any longer. Walt has to either rein himself in, be reined in by us, or sever his relationship with our family. This severance would include his position as a supplier to Tommy's division. It was our loyalty to Walt that made him a player in grain supply. Without Tommy's purchasing contracts, Walt didn't have a viable business. He doesn't really have any business without Tommy." "You want to make him realize that he's replaceable? He knows that already." "It is one thing to know it, to have an intellectual understanding, but experiencing your vulnerability is something else again. I need for you to decide, Kenny. That is Tommy's instruction to me. I've outlined your choices and given you our recommendation for what we should do. You have to decide what you want." "I don't want to make the wrong decision. What happens if we don't do anything for a week?" "We'll be sending Walt a message that we will tolerate what he is now engaged in. Knowing Walt, this will simply motivate him to escalate his attack upon us." "Mr. Parsons told me that he'd take care of all this with you, if I could bring mama back from where she was hiding." "He will, and I will, but Tommy thinks it is important that we not proceed without your approval." "No. This isn't what I'd want to do. I'm not going to approve of something I don't believe in. Is Mr. Connor threatening anyone besides me? Except for talking about suing everyone. Mr. Parsons said he can't win that way." "If he threatens you, Kenny, its the same as him threatening all of us. He has already been told this repeatedly." "I still say no. Don't do it. You can threaten him, but don't do anything to hurt his business." "Okay, Kenny. Tommy said you'd make that decision. We'll hold off on taking any action against him for now. I'll let you know when he pulls his next stunt." I got out of Uncle Bunny's car, and hurried into the residential building. Luckily, all of my school work was up to date before Mr. Parsons had come for me. I felt troubled because I had made my decision based solely on my emotions. It wasn't like I thought I knew more than Mr. Parsons or Uncle Bunny. I knew I didn't know a third as much as they did. What I did know was that I'd feel very bad if they ruined Mr. Connor's business just to punish him for being mad at what I'd done with Brenda or to Richard. The week went by quickly. I kept expecting to hear from either Mr. Parsons or Uncle Bunny, but they didn't contact me. I talked every night with Gerta and my mother. Gerta told me that she was eating, and Mama told me that she was ready to play golf with me on Saturday and Sunday. I told her about my decision about Mr. Connor, expecting her to tell me that I did the right thing. Instead, she said that I should have listened to what Uncle Bunny and Mr. Parsons were telling me. She told me that the calls from the Connor's had stopped, and she hadn't heard anything more about anything Walt was saying about me. Hans picked me up at five o'clock on Friday and drove me home. We talked up front in the limo, and he told me that my mother had been back to her normal self all week. He also told me that Mr. Parsons had been at the house since Wednesday night, but spent all day in his study, just like he normally would. When I got home, I was met by Mama and Mr. Parsons. They told me that Gerta had made stuffed lobster tails for me, and that she had been baking since early that morning. I was real happy to hear that, because my roommates had been grouchy when I'd returned to our apartment empty handed the last couple of times I'd gone home. Dinner was great. I found out that Elena and Mr. Parsons had been planning on betting on college football games. Elena had a man who took her bets over the telephone. At the dinner table, they were trying to explain this bet they were going to make together involving four teams that they picked. All their teams needed to win for them to win the bet. If they all won, they would both make several hundred dollars. The way they were telling their story, it would be unusual for them to be able to do that. What I thought was really unusual was seeing Mr. Parsons so excited about winning a few hundred dollars doing that. We had already talked about the bet we were making for the next day's golf. I was again getting eight a side, but Mr. Parsons and I were playing from the white tees this time. My mother was giving him three a side, but she was playing from the red tees. Again, he had a hundred dollar Nassau with each of us. After dinner, Mr. Parsons asked me to come into his study for a talk. The first thing he wanted to talk about was Mama, and how well she had been doing all week. He told me that I had to be real careful about not disappointing her, or doing anything to make her feel bad enough to get depressed again. The other thing he said was that I should be ready to come home and help her if she went into another one of her bad depressions. He said that he and Uncle Bunny had decided to not wait so long before trying to bring her out of them. I told him that I'd be ready to help her any way I could. After that, we came to the real reason why he wanted to talk to me in private. "Kenny, Bunny and I have refrained from taking any steps to counter Walt's actions this past week. This has created a problem for us, because I've gotten several calls from my associates, reporting some of Walt's latest statements about you, and about the whole family. He may have stopped calling us directly, but he certainly hasn't stopped talking about us. Most of it has been about you, but more and more he's been making comments about Bertie, and about my supposed relationship with Bea." "Supposed?" "Yes, as far as he knows, supposed. It wasn't something that any of us went out bragging about." "What is he saying about Mama?" "He's been saying things about her emotional health, her mental stability, and about her being fit to be a foster mother. It's really him attempting to get you pulled out from our guardianship, Kenny. That's how Walt is. He doesn't fight fair. I've honored what you've asked for so far, but I'm nearing the end of my patience with that buffoon." "Is there any possibility that someone would listen to what he's saying and make me leave here?" "I don't think so, and we'd certainly fight it if anyone tried. I'm more worried that word of this gets back to Bertie someway, and that it sends her into an emotional tailspin." I thought about what he was saying. I wasn't that bothered by what he was saying about me. He didn't need to try to attack her to get to me though. She hadn't contributed to what happened with Brenda in the limo. It wasn't right that he was trying to hurt her too. I was more sad than mad at him. I was sad because he was almost already at the point where I was going to tell Mr. Parsons to do whatever he thought best. The biggest problem I was having was that there wasn't any way to hurt him without hurting Brenda or Mrs. Connor too. "Can you call him and let him know what you're going to do to him if he keeps doing these things?" "No, that's something Bunny excels at. If it were me, I'd lose my temper, and then I'd have to go ahead and drop the hammer on him." "Do you really think he's going to stop if you give an order to his competition?" "Maybe not now, Kenny. He's gone too far already, and he must realize that. The truth is that I think he's more upset about what you did to Richard than he is about Brenda. He's been careful so far about much of what he's saying, couching it as though all he was doing is repeating rumors that he's heard. I'm afraid I no longer believe he's at all rational about this. My guess is that he already knows he's finished with us as his allies. Now, he just doesn't think he has anything left to lose by continuing with it." "Can I call him? Maybe we can get it settled, without it hurting Brenda or Mrs. Connor." "Kenny, it's you he's really out to get. If he even talked to you, it would be to yell at you, and threaten you." "I don't see anyway to make this better then." "I don't either, not now. It's no longer a matter of if we do something, now it's just when. I don't even think Bunny would work things out with him anymore. He's a lot more protective of Bertie than any of the rest of us." "What will happen if you go ahead and ruin his business? Will he stop then?" "I don't think so. He'll just hate us all that much more." "Does he have any friends that could keep him from destroying his business?" "Not that I know of." "He has a brother in Bolling. Brenda told me that he was trying to get him to come to work for him." "Robert, you mean. He's more of a loose cannon than Walt is." "If I'd given Uncle Bunny permission last Monday, would that have ended it?" "I doubt it. I underestimated how pissed off Walt was. I don't think anything could have changed it, not once he found out that you slapped Richard around. I think Brenda was just the icing on the cake for him after that bit of news. He has a lot of hope invested in Richard, most of it centered around football." "Did Richard make the high school team?" "I'm not sure. I could call Jimmy Terrel and ask him if you're really interested." "Is he the football coach?" Yes. He's a good friend of Bunny's. Our old company was always a big booster for the high school teams. I don't think they even came to us this year to ask us to contribute the programs, or the other things we usually contribute to the team. I guess they thought the merger would preclude that, because there was no longer local ownership. Should I call Bunny and ask him to call Jimmy?" "Call Mr. Connor and ask him if Richard made the team." For the first time that night, I saw Mr. Parsons break out into a smile. Instead of calling Mr. Connor, he called Uncle Bunny. "Bunny, did we do anything for the football team this year? You did it on your own? How much? Whew! Can you call Jimmy and ask him if Richard Connor made the team this year? Kenny gave me an idea of how we might have some leverage with Walt. No, I'm not going to ask Jimmy to do anything, and neither are you, but Walt doesn't know that, does he? Call me right back, all right?" The phone rang five minutes later. Richard had made the varsity team. He was expected to be a starter on offense, and was a reserve defensive back. Mr. Parsons dialed the Connor house next. I gave him the phone number so he wouldn't have to look it up. "Hi Georgia, Tom Parsons here. Can I speak to Walt?" There was a delay of more than a minute before Mr. Connor came to the phone. "Hi Walt. Have you been enjoying yourself these past two weeks? I really hope so, because it's going to turn out to be the most expensive talking of your life." He stopped talking then and I could hear Mr. Connor talking on the other end. Then, Mr. Parsons started talking again. "That isn't all of it either, not by a long shot, Walt. I just found out that your son made the varsity at the high school. I heard they were planning to start him on offense too. Bunny just told me that he gave Jimmy Terrel over seventy thousand dollars this year, to get some work done on the stadium field, and to buy those new uniforms. How much influence do you think seventy thousand dollars is going to give Bunny?" There was a fifteen second pause while Mr. Connor spoke. "Oh, I wouldn't have to say anything to Jimmy, and neither would Bunny. We've got friends who know just how upset we've been by the crap you've been telling people. Did you think we were going to let you keep anything Walt, after what you've been spreading around about us? We knew how much you were counting on reliving your own past exploits through Richard." There was another pause while Mr. Parsons sat there and listened to Mr. Connor. You could tell he was enjoying whatever Mr. Connor was telling him. "You think it matters how much talent he has? I don't care if the team would have gone undefeated with Richard playing. I told you I'd ruin you if you ever decided to turn against us like this. I hope you didn't think I just meant your business?" More talk by Mr. Connor. "Listen Walt, you've already taken your best shot at us, and we didn't even feel it. Well, Bertie felt bad that you'd turn on her, but the rest of us didn't care what you said. Now its going to be our turn. First, your business, then the bank loan that Bunny helped you with. Isn't your house securing that too? Then Richard. I'm sure if you move away, he'll catch on with a team in his junior year. I think Kenny might even be talked into telling his side of what happened in that limo with Brenda. Of course, that's bound to injure her reputation. He's upset about the things you've been saying about his mother, as any boy would have the right to be." Mr. Parsons listened to Mr. Connor talking for five minutes at least, not saying anything. I couldn't understand what he was saying, but I could tell he was talking more than usual. From the look on Mr. Parsons face, he was hearing what he had hoped to be hearing. "I don't know Walt. I guess if I heard from as many people as have been telling me the bad things you've been saying, I might leave you with just enough of my business to get by on, for Georgia's sake, and for Brenda's. None of the new business though. The only reason I'm even considering allowing you this much, Walt, is because Kenny doesn't want to see Brenda hurt by all of this. He still likes her, even though he doesn't think they're good for each other right now. If I hear one more negative thing you've said about us, all bets are off, and this time I really mean it. It will be just as easy to get Richard bounced off the team next year too." They talked for a few minutes longer, but the main purpose had been accomplished. Mr. Parsons had found something Mr. Connor really cared about, more than he cared about his anger with me. After he hung up the phone, he looked at me with a look of pure satisfaction on his face. I could tell how much he had enjoyed finding a way to deflect Mr. Connor. We both knew that he would have preferred to ruin Mr. Connor, but this was the next best thing, and the best that he could manage without it costing him more than he was willing to sacrifice to do so. "You're the one that gave me the idea, Kenny. If you hadn't asked me if Richard made the football team, I'd never have thought about using that to stick it to Walt. If we didn't trust him before, he's twice as dangerous to us now. Once you've taken things this far, there's no turning back. We're now committed enemies." "I'm not his enemy. If he wants to be mad at me, I guess I can live with it, but I'm not mad at him. If you could find a way to help him now, without expecting anything from him for doing that, he'd look silly for going around talking bad about us after that. Everyone would know you did him a big favor, and helped him to make money. I don't see why you can't do that for him, and for Brenda and her mother too." "Now you're being crazy, Kenny, why would I want to help that bastard?" "Because you can. Somebody's going to get that contract and make that money, right? Why should we have to go through all the trouble we already did with Mr. Connor, and then not get anything good for doing it?" "What good is there for us in helping him?" "We get to feel better about ourselves. We didn't stoop to his level, even though we could have. When you're that much stronger than your opponent, why not show him some mercy, especially if you can afford to?" "It wouldn't make me feel good. I already think we're being pretty damn merciful with him. Much more merciful than he deserves." "It would make me feel good. To me, this would be the perfect way to finish this off. This would make them understand that we're better people than they thought we were." "I've got to draw the line somewhere, Kenny. If I do what you're asking, I'd feel like a real chump." "I'd feel like we really won if you did that. Maybe I'm the chump then, for thinking that way?" "So, you're saying we treat him even better than we did before all of this started? You really think that will make him someone we can trust?" "No. It will make us someone he can trust, and that's even more important." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 32 Uncle Bunny joined us for golf Saturday morning. He refused to bet with Mr. Parsons because they couldn't agree on the number of strokes he needed to be given. Mr. Parsons offered him five strokes a side, but Uncle Bunny wanted a stroke per hole. When they finally gave up trying to make a money match, I offered Uncle Bunny two strokes a side for a ten dollar Nassau. When he found out that Mr. Parsons was giving me eight a side, he accepted my bet. My mother was a little off her game, shooting a 40 on the front and a 38 on the back for a six over 78. It didn't matter at all because Mr. Parsons started off playing poorly and let that keep bothering his play all day. He wound up with an 89, with a 45 on the front and an 44 on the back, and this was with a lucky bird on the eighth and another hole out chip in birdie on the fifteenth. I played my best golf, carding an 85 with a 44 on the front and a 41 on the back. I putted very well, taking only 32 putts for the whole round. Uncle Bunny had a 115, and told me after we finished, that he felt his play was improving. He and I were riding in the same cart. We were kidding and joking around the whole time we played. Uncle Bunny wasn't a good golfer, but he knew how to relax and enjoy himself. "Kenny, Tommy told me what you propose to do with Walt. At first, I thought you were making a big mistake, but now, I'm not nearly as certain. Walt isn't a man who would appreciate someone turning the other cheek. That isn't the way he plays the game. That isn't the way any of us play the game. Still, the more I thought about it, the more it intrigued me. The only profit we've ever gotten out of doing business with Walt, was in knowing that Georgia and the kids would have a roof over their heads. That was something that was more important to me than it was to Tommy. The reason for me caring, is that Georgia and I have a past history together. We needed to buy from some vendor in any case, so why not Walt?" "Mr. Parsons said he was a dependable source of supply." "He brokers the purchase, Kenny. Most companies the size of Consolidated Foods prefer to deal direct. They have their own, in house, brokers that handle purchasing. We always found it easier to deal with outside brokers for our needs. It gave us more price flexibility. Any broker could provide the same service that Walt does. No, the reason we went through him had more to do with Georgia, than it did with Walt, or his brokering expertise. Which makes it a valid reason for us to continue dealing with him. The reason you gave for us doing this to Tommy was intriguing as well. I wish though, that you'd explain your full reasoning to me." "I don't really have a reason. If Mr. Parsons can afford to buy from anyone, and the cost won't be much different, then why not buy from Mr. Connor? I still worry about Brenda, and you seem to worry about Mrs. Connor. The more business Mr. Connor gets, the better off all the Connor's will be. It seems to me that by giving him even more of the business, we'd be showing him that we still want to be friends with him, even if he's mad at me right now. Brenda told me before that Mr. Connor is afraid of you and Mr. Parsons, because he knows he needs you, but you don't really need him." "If he knows that, he sure picks strange ways to try to stay on our good side." "He feels powerless. That is something I can understand. When someone else has all the power over you, you resent them, even if they try to treat you good. He knows that you make decisions that are life and death to him, but he doesn't get any say in the making of those decisions." "Then, if what you say is true, the better we treat him, the worse he's going to resent us?" "Probably, but, the better we treat him, the better he and his family will do. He's going to resent us anyway, but this way we get something we want out of it. Brenda and Mrs. Connor don't have to worry about being poor. Isn't that why you gave him your business in the first place?" "We don't really care how Walt feels then?" "Well, we'd like for him to like us, but that isn't the main reason why we help him with his business. It isn't really costing us anything to let him get the business, right? If it helps his family, then that should be enough reason." "Did you want me to go see Walt and explain this to him?" "No. That might make him more angry. If you told him that you and Mr. Parsons just like him too much to let him destroy himself because he's mad at me, that might make him appreciate what you're doing more." "Tell him we liked him too much to destroy him?" "If you aren't going to destroy him, isn't it better that he knows that you like him?" "Tommy was right. You do need to gain a better understanding of how things work in the real world, Kenny. The funny thing is, the things you're thinking, they might be the best way for us to start thinking, especially when it concerns Walt. I'll be honest, I was looking for a way to hurt Walt, and not do any harm to his family. Instead, I should have been looking for a way to not harm his family. Hurting Walt shouldn't have been a consideration." After we settled up, I had won three hundred and thirty dollars, and my mother won three hundred from Mr. Parsons too. At the rate we were beating him, he'd probably lose six or seven thousand dollars in a year. He didn't seem at all worried by it though, and neither did Uncle Bunny when he paid me the thirty dollars. I was going to be rich if I could keep these guys playing me like they were. After golf, we all went home together, and had an early dinner. Mama was worried because she had missed her appointments with the two golf course architects she had been scheduled to see during the previous week, when she'd been not feeling well. Uncle Bunny told her that he'd reschedule for her, and if she couldn't make the meeting for any reason, he'd meet with them himself. By then, Mama had written down a lot of questions that she wanted answered, and had a series of drawings that she had made, showing the different practice areas she wanted for the learning center. Mr. Parsons wanted to know if Uncle Bunny could schedule the meetings for a time when he would be available to attend as well. Uncle Bunny said he had already prepared and filed the articles of incorporation, and that there were accounts opened at the bank that just needed signature cards signed, and for money to be deposited in them. I found out, after Uncle Bunny had gone home, that Mama and Mr. Parsons had just decided that they were going to a big charity dinner in St. Louis, and were going to be leaving early in the morning, not returning until Monday sometime. I remembered that Mama had wanted to go before, but Mr. Parsons had been unwilling to travel that far just to go to some dinner. He had told her to just send a check with their regrets. Another thing I noticed, was that the two of them were bumping into each other again, whenever they moved close enough to do that. The last time I had noticed them bumping like that, they had gone up to bed early. This time, they both made excuses about how early they had to leave the next morning, and went into their rooms before eight o'clock, just like they had before. I didn't understand why they couldn't just admit they wanted to have sex, because they weren't fooling me. They were already married, so what was the big secret? Elena came back to the house at around nine thirty, and she was in a bad mood. At first, I thought it was because three of the teams she and Mr. Parsons had picked to win, had lost, but I found out she was upset about something that had happened back in Lincoln. Something to do with a girl that she had liked. I was in the library when she came in and started making herself drinks. Gerta and Hans came in too, and Hans made himself a drink. Gerta just sat down and started talking to Elena and me. At ten, I went up to my room, and went to bed. I didn't bother locking my door. I figured now that Bea was gone, no one would be sneaking in to give me blow jobs. I was right too. I got up at seven o'clock, but Mama and Mr. Parsons had already left. Gerta told me that they had left before six. She and I were the only ones up, because she told me that Elena and Hans had gotten into a contest to see who could out drink the other. I asked her who won, but she just shook her head and said no one did. By the time Hans got up, around twelve, I was already bored, and thinking about asking him to take me back to school early. I waited to ask him until after he had breakfast in the kitchen. He looked like he was really feeling bad, and I wondered if Elena would look as bad as he did. I didn't have to wait long to find out either, because she came out of her room about ten minutes later and went into the library and made herself a Bloody Mary. I know that is what she was drinking, because I asked her, and that's what she said it was. Elena didn't look as bad as Hans did, but she was trying to walk a lot lighter than she usually did. I think she had a bad headache. I heard the phone ring, and Gerta opened the kitchen door to tell me it was for me. "Who is it, Gerta?" "I don't know Kenny. It isn't Brenda though, I recognize her voice now." "Hello?" "Hi Kenny. This is Claudia. Do you remember me?" "Hi. Sure I remember you, Brenda's friend, from the pool at the club. How did you get my number?" "From Brenda. She told me that you broke up with her, so she gave me your phone number. What are you doing?" "Not too much right now. I was planning on going back to school early, because my mother went to St. Louis this morning." "I was hoping you could come pick me up and take me for a ride in your limo. Brenda told me what you guys did in the back that time. I'd let you do that to me too." "I don't think so. I hardly even know you." "You can get to know me real quick if you want to. I'm easy to get to know." "Yes, Brenda told me you were." "Was that a wisecrack? What was that supposed to mean?" "I'm not sure, just that Brenda told me that you had already been friendly with about ten different boys." "Oh. That's right, although the number is twelve now. You could be next." "No thanks. Look, Claudia, I'm really not interested in just having sex with a girl. If Brenda said I was, she's wrong about that." "Suppose it was Brenda then, instead of me. Would that be better?" "Is she there with you now?" "She might be, but you didn't answer my question." "No, I don't want to have sex with her either." I heard whispering in the background, then Brenda got on the phone. "Kenny, why are you mad at me?" "Look at where you are, and what you're doing right now, Brenda. This is the exact same thing I warned you about before. Do you think that Claudia is going to keep your secrets too?" "My parents already know." "Did you see how much good that did? Do you know that Mr. Parsons was going to stop doing any business with you father's company because of what you told him?" "My father already told me that he talked him out of doing that. Why don't you want to see me any more? I love you." "Brenda, I care about you too, but you don't seem to understand what I'm telling you. Just you having Claudia call me to offer me sex proves that." "She wasn't really going to do that, Kenny. She was calling for me. You never take my phone calls." "I'm going to hang up now, Brenda. I guess I don't want to have sex with either of you." "I'll make you sorry if you hang up on me, Kenny." "I'm already sorry, Brenda. I'm sorry you get mad when I won't do what you want. It won't change the way I decide things though. Goodbye." I went into the kitchen and told Gerta that I wasn't taking anymore calls from anyone. She could take a message if she wanted to, but I wasn't going to take any incoming calls unless they were from the family. When I asked Hans if he'd take me back to school early, he asked me if it could wait a little while longer. I told him that I'd be in the library. Gerta told me that she'd baked a few things that I could take back to school with me. Her few things turned out to be two big bags filled with cookies and pastries. Before I left her, I went into the kitchen to thank her for making all of the sweets for us, and to tell her that I'd call her every night to see how my mother was doing. Hans brought me back to school a little before three o'clock. I went up to my room with all of the baked goods. Jerry was really happy to see me carrying all those snack foods. Nigel and Terry were not in the apartment, so I told Jerry he'd have to wait until they came back before he could have his share of the food. I finally let him have three cookies, just so he would quit pestering me. I received a letter from Brenda on Thursday. She had addressed it to Kenny Masters, Clement Academy, Holton, Kansas. It was the first piece of mail I ever received. I waited until I went to my room, after I was done studying, to open it. Dear Kenny, Right before you hung up on me on Sunday, I told you that I'd make you sorry if you did that. Today, Tuesday, after school, I went over to Claudia's house, and Darryl Kingsley came over to see us. I let him do what you didn't want to. He did it to both of us, but I went first. It could have been you, Kenny, but it wasn't. Do you know why I let him do it? Because you made me mad, that's the only reason why. I hate you for making me do that, Kenny. Don't forget that I said that to you, because I'm never going to forget it either. Brenda Connor I read the letter five or six times before I ripped it up into small pieces and took it out to the trash bin in the hallway. Even her letter had been her trying to get me to do what she wanted me to. She wanted me to feel bad. She had gone about it the wrong way though. It made me sad for her, but it didn't make me regret hanging up on her. It didn't matter how bad I felt, because she'd never get a chance to see it. Even if I saw her the next weekend, I would never give her what she was trying to get by writing that letter to me. She would never know how her letter had affected me. Only I would ever know. I turned off my light in the room and got into bed. I wasn't going to do anything until I was back home in my own room. I was glad I'd called home before reading Brenda's letter. If I'd read it beforehand, I probably wouldn't have been able to talk to my mother. She'd know that something was wrong. The next day, Mama came and picked me up in her car right at five o'clock. As soon as I got in the car, she sensed that something was wrong. She asked me what it was. I didn't want to tell her, but, if she knew something was wrong, and I refused to tell her what it was, she'd worry, and she might get her depression back. I decided to tell her enough to stop her from worrying. "Brenda sent me a letter and she said she hated me now." "I'm sure she didn't mean it, Kenny. People say mean things that aren't true when they're angry. We all do that. Give her time and she'll stop being mad at you." "You're probably right, but it still makes me feel bad now." "We'll go to the club if you want to. We can probably both use some practice. I need to ask you about something too, Kenny. We can go hit some balls and I'll try to think of a good way to ask you what I need to, all right?" "Did something happen to you and Mr. Parsons again? Have you gotten into another fight?" "No, it isn't that at all. It's very complicated though. It's important that I explain some things to you clearly, so that you understand when I ask you some questions." I had been worried that they wouldn't be able to keep from being angry with each other. In the four and a half months that I had lived with them, they'd never managed to get along together for more than a few days at a time. Not as long as they were together, in the same house, at the same time. When we got to the club, one of Dave's assistants brought us our clubs, and two large buckets of balls. We had already gotten warmed up and loose, even before he arrived with our clubs, so we began hitting balls immediately. I kept expecting my mother to start talking, but she just kept hitting golf balls, and staying silent. "You said you wanted to explain, and then ask me something?" "Kenny, I've decided to hold off until tonight to do this. I need to be sure that I say everything in the clearest way possible. Thomas will be there tonight too. He can help me to make sure I say everything right." "Is it going to be bad? Did I do something wrong again? If I did, I didn't mean to. I've been trying hard to be good." "Kenny, it isn't anything bad, don't worry. I think it's very good, but it's something very important, something that you need to understand and think about. I had planned to speak to you about it now, but I so want to be sure that I explain it correctly." "If it's really important, I'd rather you tell me, alone. I trust you, Mama." "Are you saying you don't trust Mr. Parsons?" "No, I trust him I guess. Yes, I do trust him, but not like I trust you. I know you love me." "Yes, I suppose you do know that, and I'm glad you know it, Kenny. One of the happiest and proudest moments I've had was when you called me Mama. That is what I've wanted to be for you, from the very first. The biggest fear I have is that you'll need me, and I won't be there for you when you do." "Because of your depression?" "Yes. Because of that, and because I'm having to fight all the time now to not let myself slip away again. I've discussed my fears with Bunny and Thomas, and they've told me of a way that might lessen my fears. They recommend that we adopt you Kenny. To make a formal adoption petition with the court. Once it is approved, you'd have a mother, a father and an uncle too." "This is what you wanted to ask me? If I want you to adopt me?" "Not just me, Kenny. Thomas too. He suggested it. Bunny said he'd handle all of the details if you approved of us doing that." "Are you still planning on being divorced from Mr. Parsons?" "We've discussed that as well. That is one of the complications that I mentioned. Bunny tells us that adoption is much easier if there are two parents applying, a married couple. There is also the matter of my prior medical history and the issue of my emotional stability. Bunny tells me that either of these might disqualify me from adopting you by myself. Thomas has volunteered to apply with me, as my husband, to make the process more certain of a positive outcome." "Do you still plan to divorce him?" "Kenny, please don't make my staying married to Thomas a condition for your approval. I'm not certain where that is leading, but I don't want it to impact on your decision. You already understand my melancholia problems. I am your mother now, I just would feel more secure if it were formalized, and we had a legal recognition of that fact." "I'm not making it a condition for you to adopt me. I'm making it a condition for him to adopt me too." "That amounts to the same thing then. Bunny doubts a petition, made by me alone, would succeed." "How about you and Uncle Bunny then? Would that succeed?" "He is my brother, Kenny. We can't adopt together. It would be so much easier if you would just accept it the way we need to do it. Adoption is only the legal process. You are my son, and I am your mother. That has already been established by the two of us. Do you agree that this is correct?" "Yes, you are my mother. If I agree, will you tell me then if you are going ahead with the divorce?" "Do you agree?" "Yes. I want you to adopt me. Are you going to divorce Mr. Parsons?" "I don't know. I wish it didn't matter to you though." "I don't want to seem greedy, Mama, but I've waited a long time. I've wanted to have a father too." "Thomas can still be your father, even if he's no longer my husband." "It wouldn't be the same. I'm not even adopted yet, and I'm already worried about having to be from a broken home." "I don't want to divorce him, but I can't forgive what he did, Kenny. I just can't, I'm sorry." "I can show you a way to forgive him. It's easy, if you really want to." "Tell me, I promise to consider it." "It's because he had sex with Bea, right? That's what you can't forgive?" "He did it in our own home, Kenny. For me, his doing that was a great humiliation." "As big a humiliation as he'd have if he knew what you and Uncle Bunny do?" I knew I was taking a big chance by telling her this. I'd known, almost from the first that she and Uncle Bunny had sex together. I'd smelled it on both of them that time he told me about their secret way of sealing promises. The time when he pinched her butt with both of his hands and kissed her. I'd seen her looks too, when he fooled around with Bea and Mrs. Connor at the dinner table. "I refuse to discuss the accusation that you've just leveled, Kenny. Perhaps I was wrong about you." "One of us is wrong, and it isn't me. I wasn't accusing you. I'm surprised Mr. Parsons doesn't know already. Maybe he does." "He can't possibly know. Kenny, please don't spread that kind of malicious story about Bunny and me. It is completely unfounded." "If you love me, you won't lie. I told you a way you can forgive him. I never said you have to tell him, or that I'd tell him. If you really love Mr. Parsons though, you should let Uncle Bunny go. You know he loves someone else." "Who, Bea? Don't be ridiculous. He doesn't love her. She was just a momentary diversion for him. He has those all the time. It was never serious." "I meant Mrs. Connor. You know he loves her." "He doesn't! Don't say that." "He does, and everyone who pays attention can see it. She loves him too." "I refuse to discuss any of this. You have no idea of what you're talking about." "I love you. No matter what. I didn't say you had to forgive him. I never said you have to believe about Uncle Bunny and Mrs. Connor. I think you should forgive him for one reason, because you love him. I think you should stay married to him too, because he loves you too. He just doesn't understand that he does. He thinks it's something different, but it's love." "If he loved me, he'd tell me. He knows I'd forgive him if he loved me. He'd tell me." "He does love you. He won't admit that he does because he loved his mother too, and she broke his heart a thousand times." "His mother died when Thomas was only seventeen years old. He's never spoken to me of her breaking his heart." "You've never told him that you have sex with your brother. You both keep secrets." "If you ever say that to me again, Kenny, I swear I'll never forgive you. It isn't true, it isn't." "Now you have two things you can never forgive. I know you have sex with Uncle Bunny. Now you need to find a way to forgive me too, because I don't want to be your son anymore, not if you can't forgive me." "Oh, Kenny, please don't ever say that to me again. You are my son, nothing can ever change that. Don't take that away from me." "You don't have to say you did anything. I don't need you to admit it. Think about what I've told you though. I promise you he loves you. Forgive him, and you can forgive yourself too. You have five people who love you, and you don't need to be sad anymore. If you listen to what I'm saying, you might stop having your depression. He loves you, I love you, Uncle Bunny loves you. Hans and Gerta love you too. We all want you to be happy. If you forgive me, then you can forgive Mr. Parsons too. If you forgive us, we'll both be too happy that you did, to worry about why you did it." "I forgive you, but only if you forgive me too." We left the balls and our clubs there on the practice range. We hugged and kissed, and drove back home. It had been a close call, but finally, after fifteen years, I had my parents, both of them, and an uncle, I called Bunny. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 33 By the time we drove back home, all the good feelings had been stripped away. I could see and feel the tension on Mama's face as we neared the house. I reached over to her, and placed my hand on her arm, trying to send her a signal of my love and support for her. "Kenny, I'm not sure I can do what we talked about. When it was just the two of us, everything seemed possible to do, but, now, I don't think I can face telling Thomas that I forgive him. I still have angry feelings about what he did, and especially about how and where he did it." "Don't tell him that you've forgiven him if you really haven't. Tell him you're trying to forgive him instead." "Bunny will be here tonight. I'll have to talk to him too. I don't want to disturb the relationship he and I have. Bunny was the only one I could turn to for so long. We've always been so close. I'm worried that you think it was sex, when it wasn't. It was, and is a deep love and affection. Anything else is just a way we comfort each other. Calling it sex trivializes it, and makes it appear tawdry. It was never tawdry, never." She was looking at me, and I saw that she really wanted and needed me to see that it hadn't been sex. I didn't doubt it was love, and I knew how much they meant to each other. What I'd thought was that the tie they had was preventing either of them from living guilt free lives. If they took such pains to hide what they were doing, they must have been ashamed to have anyone find out. I knew that Hans and Gerta knew about it though. One of the skills I'd developed in the orphanage was keen observation. I'd seen the looks that Gerta and Hans had exchanged whenever Uncle Bunny visited, and Mr. Parsons wasn't home. "I understand comfort. I think it was lucky that you always had someone you could turn to. Uncle Bunny loves you more than he ever loved anyone else. Maybe he's ready to let Mr. Parsons comfort you now though. If you talked to him, I bet you could figure out some other way to be close. You and I are close, but we don't have sex." "It wasn't sex. You keep saying that, but it wasn't. Sex is what Bunny had with Bea, what you and she had as well. Bea had sex with all three of you. Sex is what I have with Thomas. It isn't the same thing at all. They are two entirely different kinds of satisfactions." "I believe that. I know how different it was with Bea. Even holding hands with Brenda was better than having sex with Bea. It was important with Brenda. With Bea, it was only fun." "No, I love Thomas, Kenny, you must never doubt that. I've always enjoyed his embraces, from a strictly emotional level. It was never a shared emotional experience however. With Bunny, it was always shared, no matter what else it was. There were things I never allowed Bunny, not after I spoke my marriage vows. We didn't do what Thomas did with Bea. That is an important distinction too." "Important, but having nothing to do with solving your marriage problem now. When we've talked, you always said that the main problem was that Mr. Parsons didn't love you. I'm sure you're wrong about that. Mostly, you're wrong because you and he don't define love the same way. He doesn't think he loves you, but he really does. I've seen it when he talks about wanting to stay married to you. I couldn't figure out why he didn't see it that day he came out to the Academy, trying to get me to see if I could help you with your depression. He was so worried, and he felt so bad. I knew he loved you when he offered to pay me a million dollars if I could think of a way to keep you from divorcing him." "He offered you a million dollars? Was he serious?" "He was serious, but he didn't think it was for love. He said he enjoys being married to you. He said you had a good marriage together, much better than what most of his friends and colleagues had." "He's said that to me too, but that is only his conceit. It is always so much easier for the one who is already loved." "I don't think so. You had all the money, control of his job, the good family he never had. How do you think he felt knowing how much more you had than he had? You already had everything he was going to have to try to earn. How was he going to impress you and earn your respect? On top of that, you also wanted him to give you his heart, and his love?" "It wasn't like that. We welcomed him into our family, into all our lives. We denied him nothing that he asked for." "But, he had to ask. He told me his mother was an alcoholic, a bad one. That's where he learned to pretend not to notice the embarrassing things she did when she was drunk. That's what he's done with you, all through your marriage, when you were in the worst of your depressions, he left, and pretended he didn't know that you got that way. He didn't want you humiliated by knowing he saw that. Why would you think he was so smart and special in all those other ways, but he wouldn't find out about your depression and the withdrawals?" "He never saw me like that!" "Yes he did. We've all seen you like that. It isn't anything for you to be ashamed of. We all love you, and it didn't matter to us. What mattered was helping you get back to being your normal self again. If he didn't love you, he wouldn't have pretended all these years, even when the two of you were fighting the worst." "None of this is proof. It's all your conjecture." "I believe he left so that you and Uncle Bunny could comfort each other, He knew you needed that kind of love, and he knew you didn't get that from him." "No! You've said enough. Stop talking about this." "He told me he listened to Uncle Bunny all these years, because he was the one who could always bring you back when you got badly withdrawn. He told me that. He never questioned Uncle Bunny about what he had to do to bring you back. He just wanted you to come back. He loves you. Even if he never admits it, or says it to you, he does. If he loves you, and still lets Uncle Bunny do whatever he thinks is necessary, he must care more for you than he does about his own pride. He even leaves the house, so that the two of you have privacy." "Are you arguing his case so strongly to get his million dollars? I'll give you the million dollars, if you want it so badly. I'll have Bunny take care of it on Monday." "Mama, you know that isn't the reason. I don't need a million dollars either. Did you stay with him so long, even when he said he didn't love you, just so he could make you more money with your father's company? Why is it so hard for you to accept that he loves you? I could prove it to you, but only by letting you go into one of your worst withdrawals again. He could bring you back even if Uncle Bunny and I couldn't. Not because you love him either, but because he does love you. He's always been afraid to try to do it. If nothing else worked, he'd have to try." "I will not be used by you in some experiment to prove or disprove your hypothesis, Kenny. You are young, and so full of innocence, that you can afford to believe in all of your wishes. I'm comfortable to Thomas, a good fit for all of his social appearances and business entertaining. I don't complain about the sex we have together. I was certain that he would welcome the divorce, when he came into his own money from the sale and merger. I underestimated the value he places on his social comfort. He wishes to keep things the same, because he's grown comfortable with the lifestyle we've enjoyed. He never liked to admit failure or defeat." "This started out as you not being certain if you could forgive Mr. Parsons. I told you all you have to do is tell him you'll try. I tried to show you why I think he loves you, to make forgiving him easier for you to do. If you love him, and you'll try to forgive him, it would be enough. Do that, and I'll try to find some way to make him realize that he loves you. You know, even you said there was no hurry about getting a divorce." We went into the house without speaking more about it. She didn't say that she'd do any part of what I'd asked her to do, but she didn't say she wouldn't either. When we came in, Mama went into the library right away, and then I saw Hans go in to get her a drink. I looked in on her, but she was sitting on the settee, drinking her highball and staring off at nothing. I went to the study door and knocked. "Come." "Hi, we just got back. Hans said we're eating at seven thirty tonight. Uncle Bunny will be here right around then." "Thank you, Kenny. I hadn't realized it had gotten to be so late already. Is Bertie upstairs or downstairs?" "She's in the library having a drink." He stood up, and started putting papers into different piles. "Shall we join her?" I smiled, and we left to go to the library. By the time we got there, Hans had been summoned to make her another drink. Mr. Parsons ordered a whiskey and soda, and went to sit next to Mama. When he did that, she looked at me. It looked like she was nervous. I hoped she didn't think I had told him what the two of us had been talking about. I guess I was in the habit of telling all of them about the things the others had said to me. I didn't always tell everything, but there were some things that I felt they needed to know about what the other person felt or wanted. "Mama told me about both of you wanting to adopt me. I think it's a great idea. Would my name be changed to Parsons too?" "That isn't necessary Kenny, but I'd certainly be in favor of it, if that's what you wanted too." Mr. Parsons looked at Mama, obviously expecting her to agree also. She took another drink out of her highball glass. "Bertie, what do you think?" "I hadn't given that any thought. We should consult with Bunny first, find out how much difficulty it would be to change all of his records to reflect his new name. Kenny, are you certain you would be able to make an adjustment to changing your name?" "I don't even know where they got the last name they gave me. They might have just made it up. I asked one of the sisters once, but she wouldn't tell me. They didn't like questions like that at St. Cecelia's. I could keep my first name the same though, right? I'd like to stay Kenny." I thought Mama was disappointed with my response. "It doesn't matter that much if it's too much of a bother to do." "Kenny, it's your decision. Whichever name you'd prefer. Bertie, were you perhaps hoping he'd choose to be a Chalmers?" "I hadn't given the matter any thought. The important thing is that Kenny has agreed to the adoption. We'll inform Bunny when he arrives. He said he can get the paperwork started right away. This calls for another drink, let's make it a celebration." Mama wasn't very convincing when she said she felt like celebrating. Hans had left to go back to the kitchen, so Mr. Parsons got up and did the honors for them both. He looked at me, questioningly, obviously wondering whether something had happened to disturb Mama in the time she was gone to pick me up from school. Mr. Parsons was bringing the fresh drinks back, when Mama let him have it with her opening salvo. "Did you think you could use Kenny to manipulate me into maintaining our marriage, Thomas?" "Bertie, I never did that!" "What would you call it then? Did you think I wouldn't find out about your attempted bribe? I wondered why you were so quick to offer to participate in the adoption. Offering a million dollars though. I guess I should be flattered that I'm worth so much to you." "That money was offered as incentive for him coming up with an idea that allowed us to stay married. It wasn't a bribe to turn him against you. Don't twist it to make it seem sinister, Bertie. It wasn't a way to deceive you, or to trick you into staying my wife. As for the adoption, you heard what Bunny told us. Things will go smoother if we apply as a couple. I wanted to show my support for the adoption, my belief that you would make a fine parent for Kenny." "I don't want you trying to buy Kenny. I didn't like it when Daddy tried to buy you for me either." "Is that how you viewed it? Amazing! I can see that you're in one of your moods tonight, Bertie. The kind where you'll find fault with anything I say or do. If you'll excuse me, I'd prefer to spend time alone at the apartment, where I can, at least, catch up on the work I've fallen behind on. Please make my apologies to Bunny. Kenny, sorry that you're caught up in the middle of this. I had hoped that we could all celebrate." He turned away from the settee and walked out of the library and continued on up the stairs to his room. "That wasn't what I wanted to happen, Kenny." "No, I don't imagine it was. That was quick though. Did you do that to make sure he never trusted me again?" "No, of course not. How could you even think that?" "I don't know. How could I? Maybe because you attacked him by using the million dollars like it was a bribe, when you already knew it wasn't. He doesn't know that I explained that it wasn't, but you know that. I grew up seeing that same kind of method used, when the sisters would twist the truth into plausible lies in order to make someone do what they wanted. What did you want him to do? I'm asking, because it never got far enough for me to find out what you wanted. Unless, you wanted him to leave like this." "I was angry, perhaps I could have approached it in a less confrontational manner." "I've never seen the apartment either. I think I'll go with Mr. Parsons, if he'll let me. I'll try to explain to him that I didn't tell it the way you used it to attack him with. This way, you and Uncle Bunny can be alone, to talk and comfort each other." "Are we to enter into a punishment cycle for all of our actions then, Kenny. Is this how you want us to relate to each other?" "Mama, I love you. That's unconditional. I'm not going to pretend to approve of things you do, just because I love you. For whatever reason, you did that on purpose, knowing it would injure the relationship I've built up with Mr. Parsons. I can't figure out why you wanted to do that, but I'm sure it was deliberate. I'm going to try to undo that damage, if I can. I'm not trying to punish you, I'm trying to preserve the relationship I'm building with the man who is supposed to be my new father." "Bunny would make a better father." "I asked you about that, but you said it was impossible." "He could be your Uncle and I could be your mother. He'd be like a father in many ways." "You never planned on having Mr. Parsons be my father?" "No." "I'll explain that to him. Maybe he'll still be willing to sign the papers after I do that." "Kenny, I see this as a question of loyalty. You need to show who has first claim on your loyalty. I want you to stay here with Bunny and me tonight." I walked out of the library and walked up the stairs to Mr. Parsons and my mother's bedroom suite, and knocked on the door, before opening it. Mr. Parsons was ready to leave, with a bag already packed. I guess he hadn't had a chance to unpack yet. "I want to go to the apartment with you tonight." He looked at me, wondering why I'd want to do that. "Either that, or you can give me a ride back to the school tonight. I'm not staying here if you're leaving." "Kenny, this isn't anything that's serious. It will all blow over in a day or two. I've been dealing with these moods of hers for twenty five years. It's always better to leave her alone, to let her get calmed back down. If you leave too, it will only escalate into something larger, something that might become a real danger to Bertie. We wouldn't want that, would we?" "I'm not staying. I'll ask Hans to drive me back to school, if you don't want to take me with you." "You are too much like Bertie, Kenny. I'm not even that upset by any of this. I'm simply bowing to the reality that I'm not good company for her tonight. If I treated these little upsets as seriously as you're doing, our marriage would have never left the starting gate. Bertie needs to be herded, not roped. Eventually, she'll go in the direction you want to go in, but not if you insist on when or how." "She doesn't want you to be my father." "No, not tonight she doesn't. She did last night and this morning though. She probably will change her mind about that at least twenty more times before the adoption is finalized. So what? If you want me to be your father, that's what is important." "Do you want to be my father, or are you just trying to stay being Mama's husband?" "I'd prefer to be both, but, if it had to be either, I'd prefer to remain Bertie's husband. I'm sorry, but that's the simple truth." "If you feel like that, why can't you admit that you do love her?" "If you love her so much, Kenny, why are you willing to put her through all this? Why not go back downstairs and tell her you're staying here?" "I'm working on that. I can't do it yet, but I know it can be done. You could do it a lot easier than I could. Why don't you go down and tell her you're staying?" He put his suitcase down and started laughing. I thought he was laughing because what I said was so funny to him. He picked his bag back up and took it into his bedroom again. A minute later, he came back out, walking over to the other door that led out into the hallway. He waited for me, then we both walked back down the stairs together. He walked ahead of me, back into the library. "Bertie, Kenny insisted that I come back and apologize to you for whatever I've done to offend you. In that spirit, I offer my sincere apology. I've decided to remain. No reason to spoil our whole weekend, just because I've behaved badly." I stood behind him, and a little off to the side, so that I could get a good look at my mother's face when Mr. Parsons spoke to her. It was pretty funny, the way she dealt with the news he had given her. When she looked at me though, it wasn't very funny. I could see that she had decided to be mad at me, instead of at Mr. Parsons. I guess this was that loyalty question she had spoken about earlier, and, I was pretty sure that my answer to that question had been marked wrong. I was happy that I already had so much experience with people being upset with me. It was something that I could deal with pretty well. "Kenny, Do you have an apology to make to me as well?" "No, Mama. I don't think I've done anything wrong. Do you have one to make to my new father?" At least she could see a little humor in that remark. She slipped, and let a tiny smile appear on her face before she regained control and began glaring at me again. "Is this the way we're going to go through life from now on? All of us dueling to see who gets to have his or her way?" Mama was looking at me when she said this, but I felt like she was speaking to Mr. Parsons as much as she was to me. I turned to face Mr. Parsons. "Why don't you answer that one while I go into the kitchen and find out why we're not eating yet? Uncle Bunny is late, and I'm getting awfully hungry." I headed out the library door before either of them could say something to stop me. I hid in the kitchen with Gerta, until Uncle Bunny finally graced us with his presence. At dinner, I chose a seat halfway between Mr. Parsons and Mama. Uncle Bunny decided to sit right across from me. We were having some kind of beef in a wine gravy with asparagus and mashed potatoes and gravy. Gerta apologized that the asparagus was canned, rather than fresh. There were dinner rolls, and we had a German custard for dessert. It started out as a quiet dinner. All of us were a little skittish about saying anything that anyone else could take offense at. "Uncle Bunny, did you talk to Mr. Connor yet?" "Yes, I saw him on Wednesday. I told him what you told me to tell him too." "Was he surprised?" "I'm thinking amazed more than surprised. Did you send him the new figures on your monthly requirements, Tommy?" "I did. He had his secretary call us to confirm the order. She needed to talk to four different people in purchasing before she was satisfied. I was surprised that Walt didn't call me himself." "That explains why he was so quiet when I talked with him. When I told him that you and I were too fond of him to ruin him just because he was mad at us, I thought he was going to cry. I guess he's really been feeling the pressure. Wondering when and how we're planning to lower the boom." "Yes, I believe it. Kenny, are you sure you don't want us to tweak him a little bit, keep him on his toes?" Mr. Parsons was glad to have a safe topic to talk about at the dinner table. Mama was being quiet, but I already knew that she had heard about what we were doing with Mr. Connor, and his company. What I didn't know yet was what she thought of it. "What do you think about this way of dealing with Mr. Connor, Mama?" "It isn't my way to reward disloyalty, Kenny. If my father were still alive, Walt Connor would be staring at insolvency, and wondering what unlucky star he was born under. I can't say that I approve of this plan you've devised." "What about Brenda and Mrs. Connor?" "Georgia chose her current situation. I would feel sorry for her and Brenda, but not enough to interfere." Uncle Bunny looked at Mama for a minute before speaking to her. "Bertie, it wasn't Walt that was important. Kenny's solution is the only one that allowed us to continue what we've been doing for almost fifteen years. It was father who began doing it, if you remember?" "There's nothing wrong with my memory, Bunny. I remember sitting right here at this table when the three of you were first discussing the need for us to do something. Georgia was pregnant with Brenda, and Daddy was afraid Walt was going to be unable to find work, because it was right after Georgia's father went bankrupt. I remember wondering why all of you were so concerned. Kenny has an interesting theory as to why you were so concerned, Bunny, would you like him to share it with you?" Mama was looking at me while she asked him that. Uncle Bunny looked at me too, and so did Mr. Parsons. "Because you love Mrs. Connor, and she loves you back." "Kenny, Georgia Connor is a married woman, as I'm certain you are aware. I'm positive that you are mistaken, and you now owe Bunny an immediate apology." Great, now Mr. Parsons was mad at me too. I looked over at Uncle Bunny, waiting for him to help me out. Instead, he looked first at Mr. Parsons, and then at my mother, but he didn't say anything. It didn't take long for the tension to get pretty high. "Is that right, Uncle Bunny? You don't love her?" Uncle Bunny started looking at me. He looked so uncomfortable. I was sorry now that I'd told my mother what I thought. Still, I was pretty sure that I was right. What I wasn't sure of was whether he'd admit it or not. I thought that Mama was playing a dangerous game right then, one that could harm her in the end. "There are different kinds of love, Kenny. I suppose, in the broadest sense of the word, one could say that I love her. I know I loved her at one time." Uncle Bunny wasn't looking at me when he said this. Instead, he was staring at his now empty plate. "You do sleep with her though, don't you?" I saw the way Mama's face got all tense when I threw out that question to him. I got the distinct impression that she was beginning to regret having started us on this topic in the first place. "That isn't a question that a gentleman answers, Kenny, please withdraw it." Mr. Parsons was getting even more upset with me now. He had both of his hands on top of the table, and the look on his face left no doubt that he was displeased with me. "Thomas, please let Bunny answer Kenny's question. We're all family here. Family shouldn't keep secrets, right?" "I've slept with Georgia, in the past, when we were both much younger. Now, can we get on a different topic, please?" Uncle Bunny was making sure he didn't look Mama's way now. "When was the last time, Bunny? Was it before she broke up with you? Is Kenny right then, are you and she having an affair behind everyone's back? Is this why we've been supporting Walt and Georgia for all these years? Just so you could win back her affections? Does she sleep with you in order to keep her family fed?" Mama had stood up, and as she kept talking her voice rose and the questions became louder and more insistent. By the time she was finished, she was standing right next to Uncle Bunny's chair. Mr. Parsons had gotten up too, and he went over to Mama and started yelling at her, telling her that that was all he was going to put up with at his dinner table. I could see that he was trying to deflect her from continuing. I think he had always known that Uncle Bunny was having an affair with Mrs. Connor. From the way he was getting so angry with Mama, I suspected he already knew about Uncle Bunny and Mama too. "Bunny, I'm so sorry. I never should have allowed her to get so far out of hand. She's been aching for a fight with someone, ever since she and Kenny returned from the Academy, and I'm afraid you were elected almost by default." Uncle Bunny had stood up as well, and he first moved away from Mama and Mr. Parsons. "She does it because she loves me. She loves me. It has nothing to do with us using Walt as our broker. Aren't I allowed a normal outlet for my passions too, Bertie? Are you the only one who gets to decide these things?" The whole time he was speaking, he was moving towards the front door. He had the door opened and was through it before anyone was certain that it was his intention to leave. Ten seconds after the door closed, we all heard him starting his car and then heard him leaving the property. Mr. Parsons and Mama were standing less than two feet apart, and he was standing between her and the front door, preventing her from chasing after her brother. "There, Bertie, are you satisfied now? It isn't easy scaring Bunny so bad that he runs away like that. Is this what we've been reduced to? I'm ashamed to have been a witness to this travesty. Are you just looking for an excuse to go run off to your safe little closet, and then spend the rest of your life in that lonely hideout you've built inside your head? If there was ever anyone in your life that didn't deserve that kind of treatment, it's got to be Bunny." "Don't you dare lecture me, Thomas. I'm not the one trying to hide behind a fifteen year old boy. Kenny raised the question, and I was simply trying to get Bunny to admit or deny his current involvement with Georgia. I suppose you were already aware that this has been going on?" "Are you asking me if I knew that Bunny has been meeting with Georgia, two or three time a week, over the past fifteen years or so, then, yes, I've been aware of it. Why do you think your father wanted to tie Walt to us like he did in the first place? What I don't understand is why you felt like you needed to know this. Are you and Georgia having an affair? Are you jealous of Bunny? Is it Bunny then? Have you and your brother been sticking the horns on me for all these years?" "At least Bunny loves me!" Mama, tried to push at Mr. Parsons, but he stepped back, away from her, avoiding her touch. It now looked like he hadn't known or guessed about Uncle Bunny and Mama having sex before. From the look on his face, I'd have to say it was almost a certainty that he didn't know. For a second, I was afraid he was going to start crying, because that was what it looked like he wanted to do. Seeing the way this was turning out, I felt like crying myself. "Did you think you were the only one that wanted me that way, Thomas? Did you believe I was so pathetic that no one other than you could be enticed to sleep with me? The joke is on you then, and it always has been, because Bunny was my first love, and Daddy always knew it. Didn't you ever wonder why Daddy insisted that Bunny undergo the vasectomy procedure with you? He was covering all the possibilities, taking no chances." She ended up talking to Mr. Parsons back, because he was walking up the stairs to retrieve his suitcase again. When he came down again, he stopped off in his study, putting some papers into his satchel briefcase, and then he left. It wasn't long before we heard his engine start up, and the sound of him driving away too. "Is this what you wanted, Kenny? Are you satisfied now? Shall I go in and fire Hans and Gerta too? I knew it was going to turn out this way. I don't know how I even thought for a minute that it could turn out any differently." "I thought it went pretty well. At least all of the secrets are out now. Do you feel really bad? About Uncle Bunny, I mean?" "No, I've watched him lately, and I knew he wasn't happy about my getting this divorce. I didn't know the reason for it, but now that I know about Georgia, it makes a certain amount of sense. He was afraid that I was expecting him to replace Thomas. That was the reason he took Bea on that Hawaiian adventure, to scare me out of going through with my divorce." "I don't think so. Bea was really good at sex. She told me that Uncle Bunny was good at it too. I think he wanted to talk you out of getting a divorce because he loves you and doesn't want you to be sad or lonely. That's why he brought me to you too, Mama, just in case his other plans didn't work out too good." "Do they both expect me to curl up into a little ball and die? Is that what they think I'm going to do now?" "I'm sure they're both really upset now, but after they think about it, they'll both realize they're in a much better position than they were in before this happened." "You think this is going to turn out to be good for all of us?" "No, not for you. I think the way you told them is going to make things pretty bad for you for a long time." "That's a comfort. What about you? Are you going to better off too?" "Are you kidding? My best chance at ever getting a million dollars just walked out the front door." "You were lying to me then about not wanting the million dollars?" "No, I'm just kidding with you. I didn't want to be all serious now, because you already have enough troubles. How long does Mr. Parsons usually stay mad?" "I'm not sure. I've never seen him like this. We're into new territory here, Kenny. We may not hear from him until his attorney contacts mine. I expect to hear from Bunny very soon though. Perhaps as soon as tomorrow." "I think you're wrong about Uncle Bunny. I think he's going to use tonight as an excuse to make his escape from you. I think he had something like this planned from the beginning, from the time he went and picked me up from that orphanage. I think he waited until after the merger, and until you and I had a chance to get close. I wonder if Mrs. Connor didn't plan the whole thing with him, including my big problems with Brenda. They thought there would be a big blow up with Mr. Connor, and that would somehow help Mrs. Connor to get her divorce from him. They waited too long for that though." "Kenny, I've never heard anything so far fetched in my life. You're seeing bogymen behind every tree. One thing I've always been sure of is that Bunny loves me. We're twins, you can't get any closer than that." "Mama, you could be right, but you could be wrong too. Mr. Parsons loves you too. I don't know if he can forgive you though. Uncle Bunny wants a regular life before he gets much older. He can love you and still have a regular life, but I'm not sure if he knows that yet. You still have Hans and Gerta though." "Do I still have you too?" "Absolutely. I'm not going anywhere. I'll bet you a hundred dollars that Mr. Parsons will walk through that front door before Uncle Bunny does. Do we have a bet? You can't call either of them though, and you can't tell them to come or to stay away." "I'll take your bet, but only to teach you not to gamble. One hundred dollars." She and I walked towards the library. She never noticed the satchel briefcase that Mr. Parsons had forgotten by the front door. I think he was in such a hurry to leave that he forgot it there. I figured I'd win the hundred dollars pretty easy. I didn't want to teach her not to gamble, but I did feel bad that she'd chased Mr. Parsons away before our golf game in the morning. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 34 We didn't stay up too late Friday night. Mama had two more drinks before we turned in. After saying goodnight to her, I went into my own room and got ready for bed. A lot had happened in a short time. I had been on an emotional roller coaster almost since the time my mother had picked me up and taken me to the club that afternoon. I was beginning to feel the strain of all of the changes that had been set in motion by the words spoken within our family. Earlier in the evening, although it was after Uncle Bunny and Mr. Parsons had left, I had seen the worried expression on Gerta and Hans' faces. Elena had taken off for the weekend, in order to visit with her mother in Lincoln, and she wasn't expected back until late that Sunday night. I'm fairly confident that all of us there expected Mama to go into one of her depressions that night. When you think about it, to expect anything else would have been nearly impossible, given her past history. Saturday morning, when I came down for breakfast at eight o'clock, I found Mama in the kitchen with Gerta, and the two of them were laughing, and kidding around with each other about something. I was very surprised to even see her out of her bedroom. Seeing her laughing and in good spirits simply amazed me. "Good morning Mama. I must say you are in better spirits than I would have thought you'd be." "Good morning, Kenny. Gerta and I were just discussing that very thing. She says if I continue to be happy all day, she might send Hans away, and we'll keep the house free of men forevermore. She didn't mean you though, Kenny. You can stay until you turn eighteen." Gerta and Mama giggled some more. I knew they weren't serious, especially Gerta. "I didn't see Mr. Parson's briefcase over by the door. He forgot it when he left last night. Has he been by to pick it up already?" "Did he, Kenny? Oh, yes, that's right, he did. I sent Hans to return it to him. We wouldn't want him to have to stop working for lack of all his important papers. Oh, Kenny, please don't look so disappointed. I'm sure that Bunny will let you take at least a hundred dollars off of him when we meet him for golf at ten o'clock. If not, I'll give you seven strokes a side, and we'll all play from the red tees." At seven strokes a side, I was no more than even money to win. I'd have to shoot my best score ever if she did nothing more than shoot par, and she was capable of doing better than that. The day before, when we'd been practicing, she had been hitting her irons with amazing accuracy and consistency. "I'd need a stroke per hole to bet you any serious money, Mama. I wish Mr. Parsons was playing. I was counting on his Nassau money so that I'd have enough money for Christmas presents this year." "You're free to phone him and issue him an invitation to join us, Kenny. I'm not the one who asked him to leave. He did so of his own volition. After a good night's rest, I'm starting to believe that this was all for the best. You were right, Kenny. I find the whole situation to be liberating. No more secrets, everything out in the open, for anyone to comment upon or question." "He wouldn't come now. He's mad at all of us. Are you sure Uncle Bunny is coming? After last night, I doubt it." "I gave you permission to call Thomas. Tell him we've all called a truce, so that we can enjoy the day together. Remind him that we both need to sign on the new account for the learning center too." I stood up and asked for his phone number at the apartment in Bolling. Mama didn't remember it, but Gerta gave me the number from memory. I went up to my bedroom, and made the call from there. "Hello?". "Mr. Parsons, its Kenny." "Hello, Kenny. Did she ask you to phone me?" "She told me I had permission to invite you to play golf with us this morning. She says we can make a truce to enjoy the day. She's in a really good mood today too." "Thank her for getting Hans to return my bag to me. I appreciate her thoughtfulness. I'm afraid I'll have to decline the invitation for golf though." "Uncle Bunny will be there too. She never had real sex with him, never since you've been married at least." "Kenny, I'm not getting into this discussion with you. I already know enough to satisfy me." "She said you probably wouldn't want to come, but she asked me to remind you that you need to sign on the new account for the learning center." "She's right about me not wanting to be with her or Bunny today. I'm not certain I could trust myself." "It takes love to bring her back, that's all that does it. It isn't sex, it's just love and affection, and giving her comfort. I did it too, but it isn't sex. She never had sex with him, not in all the time you've been married. She loves you. Bunny loves you too. I love you too, so you have to quit being mad at all of us for this. We're teeing off at ten o'clock, and you can ride in my cart if you want to." "I will not be made a cuckold in my own home, not by any man." "She didn't do what you did with Bea. She didn't have sex with anyone but you. I don't think you should be jealous of Uncle Bunny. When you love somebody, you do what you need to do to help them. You could do what Uncle Bunny does for her, or what I do, but you'd have to love her first. She needs to know that you love her for it to work." "She told you I wouldn't come play today?" "No, she didn't say it, but I could tell that she didn't expect you to come play with us. She's in a really good mood today too. She said getting things out last night was a good thing. Today would be a good day to tell her you love her. If you come play golf with us and tell her, I think she might believe you." "Kenny, are you actually attempting to choreograph all of us to follow some fairy tale script that you have in your mind? Sometimes I get the feeling that you are manipulating all of us to fit into some preconceived mold for you. Is all of this deliberate on your part? Are you trying to make us over into some ideal standard that you've conceived in your head?" "No. I'm trying to help you get along better. I get along good with you, I get along great with Mama and Uncle Bunny. I'm not the one who keeps getting mad at people all the time. I like it better when we all get along, because no one is sad then, and we can do fun things. Mama needs you to change, and Mama needs to change herself. You could help both those things. I already told you what you have to do." "Do you know why she's in such a good mood?" "No, I was surprised to see her out of her bedroom this morning. Maybe it was because she saw how jealous you were last night." "I was shocked, not jealous." "I don't think it matters to her. What mattered was that she saw that you care about her. You reacted when you thought she had sex with Uncle Bunny." "If I show up today do you think it will ruin her day?" "No, it will surprise her though. It might throw her off her golf game too. She's offered me nine strokes a side with both of us playing from the red tees. If you come, I'll play her for a hundred dollar Nassau. Are you going to give me eight a side again?" "Not shooting from the red tees, I'm not. Six a side, and we all shoot from the ladies tees." "You're going to be so sorry. I would have taken four a side from the red tees." "Kenny, I'm not sure about you, but I'm going to be watching you more closely from now on. After I left last night, I did some thinking too. I was surprised at how angry and disappointed I felt. At one point, driving here, I almost became physically ill. A strong reaction, but definitely an emotional one. What I'm telling you is that what happened last night lent some credence to what you've been telling me. Perhaps there's more than fondness. I'm not at the point where I'm willing to admit that you were right, but I withdraw my assertion that you were totally wrong. Tell Bertie that I'll be there before ten." When I went back downstairs, I felt good, but also worried. I knew that there could be a very public and angry confrontation. On the other hand, they were all already at odds with each other. It wasn't like it would destroy their perfect harmony. Mostly, I was worried about Uncle Bunny getting beaten up. I walked into the kitchen, and Mama was eating a huge strawberry waffle, with gobs of whipped cream and strawberries on top. It looked like something I would eat, not something for her. When I saw Gerta bringing one over for me, piled even higher with strawberries, juice and whipped cream, I gave her a smile of gratitude. "Mama, I will take your offer of nine a side for a hundred dollar Nassau, shooting from the red tees." "All right, Kenny, but you better be prepared to lose. I think I'm going to shoot well today. I'm feeling strong." "That's good. I talked to dad, and he'll be joining us too." I looked at her as I spoke, wanting to see whether she'd be happy or not at my news. I couldn't tell, but she pushed her waffle away, and went upstairs in a hurry. 'Now I've done it'. That's what I thought at the time. I figured she'd be wrapped up in a blanket and crying in her closet in about as long as it took her to get to her room and pull the covers off of her bed. When I turned back to look at Gerta, her face was as worried as mine must have been. There wasn't anything to do about it now. I started in on my waffle. When I finished it, I decided to eat the rest of hers too. I figured that it would just be going to waste if I didn't eat it. I had just finished eating the last of Mama's waffle when she came back down. She had made a complete change of outfits and her hair was done differently, and her make up was all in place like for an evening. I smiled, thinking that my dad was going to get bumped into a lot today. I thought it would be a lot of fun to try to keep them apart as much as I could manage out there on the course. "You look really nice, Mama. Are we ready to go?" "Thank you, Kenny. I'm almost ready. I hope this skirt isn't too tight for me to play in. Does my hair look all right, Gerta? I hope the wind doesn't come up, or it will get blown all over the place. Kenny, did you tell Thomas that we have a ten o'clock tee time?" "Yes, I told him. Your hair looks really nice. Soft looking. You're very pretty when you wear it like that. It makes you look younger." "Thank you. I used to wear it like this when I was younger. The other style is more practical, but I'm in a good mood today, so the heck with practical." "Be careful you don't hit any balls into the woods today, Mama. As good as you look, someone might follow you in and try to steal some kisses." I saw her blush after I said that to her. I wondered if she was thinking the same thing that I had been thinking. I'd have to talk to Uncle Bunny to get him to help me to keep them apart all day. Bea had told me about anticipation being a strong aphrodisiac. I hoped she was right, because it was going to take a lot of anticipation before they could overcome the obstacles that stood in their way. We left soon after in Mama's car. She was almost bursting with energy. I couldn't remember ever seeing her so filled with, at first I couldn't think of a good name for it, and then I did. She was filled with anticipation. It looked and felt like she could hardly wait to get to the country club. "You must love him a lot, Mama." "Don't start in with me, Kenny. I'm in a good mood. I just want to relax and have a nice day. I don't want to talk about anything today. It's going to be a good day to play golf. It's nice and cool, and the wind hasn't started blowing yet. Do you think I should have called Bunny to tell him that Thomas is coming?" "I don't think so. I don't think dad is going to cause any trouble today. He's mostly coming to see you. I think he woke up in a good mood today too. I'm going to drive his cart today, so you need to ride with Uncle Bunny." "Thomas and I always ride together." "Not today, it's all arranged. He expects to ride with me today." "Very well. It might be less awkward that way. It makes no difference to me, not really." We got to the club before Uncle Bunny and my new father. We had our clubs and some practice balls brought around, but mama was too busy looking at her watch and staring at the driveway to the parking lot to hit that many balls. I hit about sixty balls, getting myself nice and loose, and I was pleased to see that I was striking the ball particularly well. It was almost jumping off my club heads. I was consistently hitting my five irons one hundred and sixty yards in the air, and straight and true as well. I was planning on making a real killing on all my bets during the coming round. After not paying any attention to golf, or hitting any practice balls, as soon as dad showed up, Mama started hitting balls one after another. He came over, bringing his clubs up from the pro shop himself. Good morning Kenny, Bertie, thank you for inviting me. Thank you for sending Hans up with my briefcase too. That was thoughtful of you, Bertie." Good morning Thomas. I didn't notice you drive up. It's such a nice day for golf. Bunny should be here shortly, so you better get warmed up. We're about ready, right Kenny?" "Well, I am at least. Doesn't Mama look nice today, dad? I told her she better stay out of the woods today, looking like that, or somebody might try to kiss her." "Yes, Bertie, I was about to say that your hair looks good that way. Going back to the style you used to wear, I see. It's always been one of my favorite styles, very becoming." "Thank you, I just didn't have time to really fix it up, and I figured we were just out for a relaxing game of golf in any case. The wind will rearrange it anyway." I had been watching for Uncle Bunny, and when he showed up, I let Mama and dad know it, so that we could start walking down to put our bags on the carts. Uncle Bunny never warmed up. He said he wanted to save all those good shots for the real playing. Uncle Bunny saw us all together, and he sure did look surprised. He actually stopped walking towards us, once he saw that dad was there. "Bunny, hurry up, we're next up on the tee." I figured this was dad's way of letting Bunny know that he wasn't upset with him over the night before. I guess it took all of us a little by surprise when he did that. This was the only part that I'd been really worried about. If there wasn't going to be any trouble between Uncle Bunny and dad, there probably wasn't going to be any trouble. I had to take dad's bag from him and tie it on next to mine. I could tell he was trying to think up some excuse to put it next to Mama's bag. "Bunny, I'll give you six a side from the red tees for a hundred dollar Nassau, that's all I'll do." "Fine, Tommy. Six a side should be more than I need today. For some reason I woke up ready to play my "A" game. I'd be surprised if I don't break ninety today. I'm really feeling loose and ready to play. How about you, Kenny, a ten dollar Nassau, I'll only take two a side from you though?" "I was thinking more like a hundred a side, and I'll give you five a side Uncle Bunny. I'll pay you double if you do break ninety." "Very well, Kenny. I doubt that you'll like the result though. When I'm feeling good, I often play extremely well. I'll use my newfound wealth to get some lessons from Dave. I'd like to hit my drives a little further. Straighter too." "How about us, Bertie, are we going to do anything?" Dad was looking at her. I think he was doing one of those double entendre things. Asking her an innocent question, but with a whole different, not so innocent, meaning behind it. I saw Mama smiling at him before she answered, "I'll give you four a side, Thomas, you can name the amount. We'll all play from the red today." "Let's play for something more important than money, Bertie. We both have enough money already. Let's make it more interesting. No strokes, we'll play straight up. You can name the stakes we'll play for." "I'm not sure I know what to play for. What did you have in mind?" "I'm leaving it up to you, Bertie. You know what you have, and what you want. I'm open to almost any wager." "Very well, I accept your challenge. When I win, I'll tell you what I want. If you win, I'll give you whatever you want of me. Can you afford to play so high, Thomas?" "Whatever I want? You're suggesting we play for very high stakes indeed. I accept. You have the honors. Play well." On the first hole, I made a bogey five, Uncle Bunny had a seven and my mother and father both made par. By the end of nine holes, my parents were dead even, and Uncle Bunny had shot a sixty three. I shot a forty two, and had beat all of them on the front, my parents by a lot, after my handicap was added in. I was already up three hundred dollars, not that any of the rest of them cared. Twice on the front nine, I had watched Mama pulling her putts deliberately. On the ninth hole, dad was on the green about ten feet from the pin in regulation, and he three putted from there, losing a hole that he would have halved with a two putt. Both of them had scored forty three on the front. I expected more of the same on the back. For the whole front nine I'd managed to keep them pretty well separated except on the tees and on the greens. I'd already seen them bumping into each other at least fifteen times on the front nine. Uncle Bunny was having a good time too, just relieved that he wasn't a party to anything that was taking place between those two. I shot a thirty nine on the back nine, including an eagle on the par five twelfth hole. From the ladies tees, it was only four hundred and fifty three yards from tee to green. I hit a monster tee shot that seemed to stay up forever, and then got a whole lot of forward roll when it landed on the down slope in the center of the fairway. I had one eighty to the green. I hit a three iron right in the center of the club face, and it hit just in the front part of the green and rolled up to within ten feet. The putt was a little uphill, but almost dead straight in. I got pretty excited when I made it, because it was the first eagle I'd ever made. My final score of eighty one was my best round of golf too. Uncle Bunny fired a sixty on the back nine to tally a one twenty three for his round. Mom and dad were neck and neck after seventeen holes. Each one would think up new, and not very convincing, ways to lose to the other, so that the lead shifted back and forth. It was even only because dad had missed a five inch putt that would have won him the seventeenth. Mama tried to concede his putt, but he reminded her that she had missed one even shorter, three holes before. The eighteenth hole at the country club is the signature hole. It is a long par four with the tee shot coming out of a long narrow chute of trees on both sides of the fairway. It opens up after about one hundred twenty yards, to a wide fairway. It stays wide until about seventy yards in front of the green where it narrows again and is protected on either side by tall trees. If you make it through the first chute, you have to fire an accurate second shot in order to find yourself sitting on the green. It was an easy hole to mess up. The pin was set up on the right side and in the back, and there was a trap right behind the flag fifteen feet beyond the pin. This was the kind of hole where any par was a very good score. All of the money matches were settled. Uncle Bunny had won the back nine from dad, and had just clinched the eighteen, after losing the front nine. He had taken a hundred dollars from dad. I won nine hundred dollars, three hundred from each of them. "Well, Bertie, it comes down to this one hole, doesn't it? I propose we reverse the bet here. The loser gets to ask for whatever they want from the winner. What do you say?" "I say no. In golf, the winner gets to choose, not the loser." "Isn't it obvious yet that neither of us wants to win? The idea of throwing the match holds no appeal to me. This way, the winner gets what he wants, which is to have the loser make the choice." "Very well. As long as you put it that way, I guess I can go along." They both hit nice tee shots, but neither one hit it long enough that they could take a lofted club and hit it over the trees. Both would need to punch it to get on the green. Mama hit first, because she was farther back. She hit in front of the green, but her ball plugged a little and didn't roll like it should have. She ended up right behind the fringe, but in a place where she could make a fairly routine up and down. She was disappointed that her ball had gotten bogged down like it did. Dad's ball was about thirty yards closer, but he was more to the left. He could gamble with a strong six iron and hope he could hit it high enough that it would clear the trees and still hold the green when it hit. From where he was, if it didn't hold, he'd wind up in the trap. If it had been me, I'd have punched up into the center of the green and hoped that Mama missed her up and down. From where he was, he could feed right back towards the pin, because of the nice angle his drive had made possible. "I'd usually play this the safe way Bertie, but not today. This is too important for me to be playing safe." I watched him take a seven iron out of his bag. Oh boy! he was going to take the trap out of play with the seven. Now he was sure to get high enough, but would he have enough club to carry the distance to get on the green? If not, he'd have a hard time salvaging his par. I looked over at my mother, and I could tell that she had been counting on him playing safe. I watched the way he set his stance, standing a little bit closed and then putting his back foot back even more. He was planning on taking it up high, but over the trees on the right side with a slight hook. With him doing it that way, he wouldn't need to carry quite so far to make it onto the green, but was less likely to get close to the pin on the back right that way too. Even worse, if his ball didn't take the hook, he'd wind up in the rough, over on the right side of the green, with little green for him to work with. He wasn't just gambling, he was trying an all or nothing shot. If he hit it perfectly, it could roll close enough for a good uphill birdie opportunity. I sure wouldn't want to try that shot, not if I was playing for anything important to me. You had to be desperate to even think about trying it that way. I looked over at Mama just when she was wiping the sweat off of her hands, onto her pretty skirt. Dad took his practice swing, and then moved in a little closer to the ball. He put everything into that swing, making sure that he had it plenty high enough that distance wasn't going to be his problem. The ball lifted up right away, and, at first, I thought he hadn't gotten enough on it, but it kept climbing. From where I was, sitting in the driver's seat of the golf cart, I couldn't tell if the hook was taking or not. If it didn't hook, he was dead for that hole. I lost sight of the ball because of the high arc he had it on, so I jumped out of the cart, and was able to pick it up again. It was hooking, but it needed to hook more if he was going to catch any part of the green. He had the distance too, that was for sure. Now, all he needed was the hook, to make his direction good too. It hit about pin high, over on the right fringe, but the spin made it bounce almost straight left, towards the stick. It went past the flag and came to rest perhaps six or seven feet from the hole. A great shot, especially for one that was hit under so much pressure. "That was really an excellent result, Thomas, well struck indeed." "Thank you. I got lucky with the bounce though. I hit it too far to the right." The rest of the hole was anticlimactic, because Mama chunked her approach shot, and had a twenty footer left to save par. When she missed that putt, she conceded the match. Uncle Bunny and I got into my cart and left the two of them alone on the eighteenth green, heading back to the clubhouse. Without speaking of it, we both wanted to give them enough privacy to allow them to settle up their wager. I remember that all I could think of was that I hoped Mama didn't ask for anything stupid from him. When I slowed down to go into the cart return area, I looked back at the two of them. Uncle Bunny was already turned before I looked. My mother and father were standing on the green, and they were kissing. Uncle Bunny was looking at them, and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he sad to see them getting back together? I didn't think so. I think he had been hoping that they would. "Are you going to marry Mrs. Connor now, Uncle Bunny?" "No, Kenny, I'm not. We wouldn't get along nearly as well if we were married. For Georgia, it is a necessity, being near to money. When she was in a family with wealth, she took it for granted. It was only after she lost it that it became so important to her. Her relationship with me seems to satisfy her need to have money be near to her. I love her, and she loves having me close to her, but Walt is the love of her life. I am her security. Sometimes, I wish it could have been different, but I have something from her, and that something is far better than nothing." "I thought you were planning on getting her to divorce Mr. Connor, so she could marry you." "Why ever would I want to do that, Kenny? Did you also believe I was trying to break up Tommy and Bertie?" "No, I always thought you were trying to break up you and Mama, so you'd be free to marry Mrs. Connor." "You're closer with that than with your conjecture about Georgia and me. I did want to use you for a purpose similar to that, though. Bertie has always needed someone to be emotionally close with. For whatever reason, she and Tommy have never developed that closeness. I cannot always be with her, and she blames me now for bringing Bea into her home. This anger has impaired my ability to keep her from sliding too far into herself. "I thought that you might be a suitable replacement, someone to take my place with her, but I never dreamed that you'd become so important to her so quickly, or that you'd manage to break through Tommy's reserve so easily. Of the two, I'm more surprised that you've become so important to Tommy. He listens to very few people, but, he listens to you. You've had greater success mediating their disputes in the past few months than I enjoyed in my almost thirty years of tackling that particular task." "If that's success, I'd hate to see failure. Why do they fight so much?" "They each have these blind spots. Pride and pettiness. Neither gives in on the major stumbling blocks that have kept them from being happy. Tommy won't love her, and she won't accept anything less than that from him." "I think he does love her. He's always been worried about her. It's still love, even if he doesn't call it that. When he says he's very fond of her, that's what he calls love." "I can't buy that, Kenny. When you love someone, you don't leave them alone when they are as troubled as Bertie gets." "He was taught to do that by his mother. Dad said she was a bad alcoholic, and that he learned to pretend not to notice the embarrassing things she did while drunk. To him, pretending not to notice how Mama gets during her worst depressions is how he shows his love. He has trouble admitting love, but I'm sure he does love her. He almost admitted it to me today on the phone." "Here they come. Don't get too excited by seeing them close like this, Kenny. Don't get your hopes up too much. These two reconcile with the frequency of days that end in "Y's". Something will come up and they'll be right at each other's throat again. It amazes me that they've lasted as long as they have. As soon as they get here, you distract them for me, so that I can grab my clubs and leave. Here's the two hundred from our earlier wager, get the other hundred from Tommy, because that's how much he owes me." I didn't have to distract them. They weren't even aware that we were there. They went up to the clubhouse to have a drink, oblivious to everyone around them. One drink turned into several, and I called Hans to come by to pick everyone up. I didn't want the two lovebirds to crash into each other when they left the bar and tried to drive home. I wound up eating in the kitchen with Hans and Gerta. I was getting ready to go to sleep, at around ten thirty, when I heard the two of them laughing together, as they left their room to go down and raid the kitchen. For some reason it made me happy for them and a little sad for me. I missed having Brenda a lot right then. I missed having Bea too. If she had been in the house, I'd have left my door unlocked, and found a way to let her know that. I fell asleep wondering what it was that Mama had asked of him. The next morning they took me to Bolling with them to get dad's papers from the apartment. First, we all went to the club and picked up the cars and brought them back home. We all went to Bolling in the limo with Hans driving us. I sat in the seat facing the back, and they sat in the front facing seat. I had gotten four hundred dollars from my father, and then Mama had borrowed another three hundred from him so that she could pay me too. I had well over a thousand dollars, almost fifteen hundred. I was already planning on all the Christmas presents this would buy. Just thinking about it was making me excited. After we stopped at the apartment, which was nice, but not as fancy as I thought it would be, I had them drive me out to St. Cecelia's. I wanted them both to see where I had grown up. When we were parked, I led them inside, and told them that Marie was off on Sundays. We went over to Mother Superior's office and knocked, but no one answered. I took them upstairs to where my bed had been, and showed them where I slept, and the bathroom I had been in charge of keeping clean. We were coming back down the stairs when most of the boys came charging back from Mass. The first sister I saw was Sister Clara, and as soon as she recognized me, she waved, and told the other sisters to take care of the younger children. "Kenny, look at you, I think you've grown." "Hi, Sister Clara. I want you to meet my mom and dad, Tom and Bertie Parsons. I've been showing them my old bed and stuff. Where's Mother Superior today?" "It's the gout, Kenny. She has it bad today, and she's laid up from it in her bed. Her poor big toe is all swollen and red, and she can barely stand to move it through the air, because even that little bit hurts her. She'll be sad that she's missed your visit, Kenny, but I'll tell her that you were here and asking for her. That will cheer her up I'm sure." "Sister Clara are you in charge of the Christmas gift fund this year?" "I am. Have you come to make a donation, Kenny? We can certainly use the help. I don't know why, but people don't seem able to help like they used to." I took out all the money in my pocket and handed it to her. "$1,437.00, Sister. Make sure that every kid gets a good toy this year." "Mother of God, Her name be praised, Kenny. Can this be true?" As she said this, Sister Clara was spreading out all the bills into a fan and making a quick count. For as long as I remembered, Sister Clara was the one they put in charge of Christmas gifts for the kids. She had to be the worst fund raiser an orphanage ever had. Instead of going out into the community, and soliciting donations like most people would, she'd go into the refectory, and say prayers for them. I remember that my last Christmas there, we all got a new pair of socks, and we only got that because one of the priests that came to hear the sister's confessions had heard Mother Superior saying that we weren't getting anything for Christmas again, and he went and took the socks out of a crate that was bound for some mission in South America. The socks I got were green, and they came up to my knees. I was lucky though, mine almost fit me. Sister Clara escorted us out to the car, promising that I'd be in her evening prayers forever. I didn't care too much about that, although it was nice knowing that someone was saying prayers for me. The main thing was my knowing that all of the boys were going to wake up on Christmas morning to find that they had been given something worth having. I had told Sister Clara four or five times that I wanted her to buy toys with the money, not clothes, or food, or some decoration for the dining room. Sister Clara told me that she had seen disappointment on all of our faces in the past, and that she would do as I asked. When we left, to head back home, everyone was quiet in the car. I figured that maybe it hadn't been too good of an idea showing them where I had been raised. That made me feel bad, but I couldn't help it that I'd been raised in an orphanage. It didn't make me any worse than anyone who'd been born rich. I was just as good as they were. I found out at Christmas time, when Uncle Bunny and I went over to the orphanage to visit, and to bring a Christmas present for Marie, that my parents had sent a donation of ten thousand dollars, to be used to buy clothes, and to have a nice Christmas party for all the boys at the orphanage. Mother Superior sure treated Uncle Bunny and me a lot better than she had the first time when he came to get me and took me to my new home. There were a lot of happy kids at St. Cecelia's that year. It was more than all the presents they got too. Fred Jensen told me that the sisters were being nicer than they had been before. He said that nobody knew why. I asked Uncle Bunny why they would suddenly start treating the kids better. "Now they know that today's orphans can be tomorrow's benefactors. I think they had lost sight of that possibility. You can take some credit for that Kenny. Your mother, father and I have set up a trust to benefit St. Cecelia's children. We wanted to reward them for helping you to be you." That's when I understood that they hadn't been quiet in the car because they had been ashamed of where I'd been raised. When I opened all my gifts that Christmas, and there were way too many under the tree for me, one of them was just an envelope that contained $1,437.00 in crisp new bills. I saved it until the next year, and then put it with the rest of the money that I'd saved, and we took it over to St. Cecilia's again. We had a good Christmas. My parents weren't fighting, and Mama didn't have any of her bad depressions from that day we played golf until after the start of the New Year. I asked them each several times to tell me what Mama had asked for, but they would never tell me. They didn't get mad at me for asking, but when they didn't tell me, they always smiled about it, remembering it I guess. We went to the country club for the Christmas party and dance, and I saw Brenda there. She spent the whole evening dancing with some boy I'd never seen before. I saw Richard too, but he didn't do anything or say anything to me. I danced two dances the whole night. The first one was with my mother. We had been practicing at home, and I was pretty nervous getting up with a crowd of people around and dancing like that. It was getting late and my parents had gotten up to dance the last dance of the evening, when Emily Carstairs came over and asked me to dance with her. She had gained back a lot of the weight she had lost, and her figure had filled out too. She told me her phone number, and asked me to call her sometime, when I was home from school. I thanked her for the dance and walked her back to her parents table, where she introduced me to them. I said hello to her brother Gary too, and then went back to our table. We left right after that. It was New Year's Eve before I called Emily. I had been thinking about doing it every day since the Christmas dance, but I still associated Emily with Brenda, and with all the trouble we had at the end. I had her phone number memorized, backwards and forward. My parents had just left for a party over in Bolling, Elena was off partying with friends of hers, and even Hans and Gerta were going over to visit some German friends of theirs. I was all alone in the house. I was off from the Academy until January 4th, but I had to check back in on the 3rd before 9 P.M. I knew that I had to either call her, or else find some way to get her phone number out of my thoughts. I started working up my nerve to call her around three o'clock, right after Hans and Gerta left. It was nearly seven o'clock before I actually dialed her number. Carstairs residence, Gary speaking." "Happy New Year Gary. This is Kenny Masters, I mean Kenny Parsons, is Emily in?" "Happy New Year. Brenda's Kenny, the one who danced with Emily at the club?" "Yes." "Hold on, and I'll get her. Are you calling Emily to talk mushy stuff with her? If you are, I'll leave the room so I don't have to puke." "No, she asked me if I knew about any undetectable poisons that she could use on someone, and I just came across one that seems perfect." "You're just trying to scare me. I'll get her." "Hello?" "Emily, it's Kenny. Happy New Year!" "Hi Kenny. Happy New Year to you too. Are you at home now?" "Yes, everybody but me has gone out to one party or another." "I'm stuck here watching Gary." "Did your parents go out too?" "Of course. They do this every year. You looked sad at the club's Christmas dance. I saw you watching Brenda and Garrett. If you still like her, how come you stopped talking to her? She still likes you too." "I guess. Whenever we get together, something happens and it turns out bad. We don't seem to fit well with each other." "That's not what she said." "We fought a lot. Almost all the time." "But, you still like her, and you miss her?" "I'm pretty sure I didn't call you so the two of us could spend our time talking about Brenda." "How come you took so long to call me?" "I'm not European. Brenda told me you only liked European guys." "That's not true. I like you. You didn't even notice me at that dance. What is it about Brenda that you liked the most?" "Her hair, plus she's very pretty. I just liked her, I guess. I never knew much about girls. Brenda was my only girlfriend." "What about that other girl, the one who lived with you?" "Bea? She didn't live with me. She lived in our house, but she worked for my mother. She moved to California. She was my Uncle's girlfriend for awhile. She was my friend too though." "From what Brenda told me, she was more than your friend." "Brenda told me stuff about you too, you know. Brenda likes to talk about people." "I don't mind. I don't keep many secrets." "That's too bad. You don't keep secrets, and I don't like being talked about. Sounds like we don't fit either." "I could keep secrets, if I wanted to. When you have girlfriends, if you're a girl, you tell each other things." "My father told me that, but only after it was too late. I didn't know before. I thought she just didn't care if she got me into trouble." "If you wanted to go with her again, I'm pretty sure she'd break up with Garrett. He's more of a friend, than a boyfriend." "I have her phone number if I wanted to call her, but I called you instead. I thought you wanted to talk to me?" "I do. I just needed to make sure that you were really broken up with her first." "I haven't seen her, except for the Christmas dance, since that time when you were with her, last September." "Is that why you spent so much time looking at her then? It had been so long that you weren't sure it was really her?" "Emily, what do you want me to tell you? I liked her. She's still very pretty. If I had seen you there, I would have looked at you too." "Do you think she's prettier than me?" "I don't make those kind of comparisons." "Bologna! All boys compare girls. It's some kind of thing they're born with." "Not me. I was raised in an all boys orphanage. The only females were the nuns who took care of us. I didn't even think much about girls until I came here to live." "Do you think I'm pretty?" "I think so, but that's only my opinion. Do you think you're pretty?" "Maybe. Paolo used to say I was magnificent. He was my boyfriend in Italy. Brenda told you about him, because she told me she did. I thought I loved him, but I got over him. I try to remember his face now, but it's all blurred. I wish I'd gotten a picture of him. I can remember your face clearly though." "Well, it's been less than a week." "Can you remember mine?" I closed my eyes, and she came into sharp focus. It was from that time when we were standing in the parking lot, just before Elena came to give me a ride home on her motorcycle. She was thinner then, and she was standing next to Brenda. Brenda's face was so easy for me to recall. It was the way her hair framed her face and made everything seem such a contrast to that copper colored hair. "I can see it clear, but it's how you looked at the club in the parking lot. You were thinner then." "I was just getting over being sick. I've gained back the weight I lost. This is how I look normally." "Yes, you look better now, healthier." "Healthier? You certainly know how to flatter a girl, don't you?" "I like the way you got bigger on top. Before, I didn't think you had that good of a figure. At the dance, you looked a lot better." "That's better. What else did you like besides my gigantic bosoms?" "I wouldn't call them gigantic. More like average sized. Bea had really big ones. Hers were always jiggling around when she walked." "Kenny, I'm starting to worry about your social skills. You don't compare another girl favorably against the girl you're talking with. That's not the way to win friends and influence people." "You were taller than Bea, and the hair on your head was nicer too." "You haven't seen the hair that's not on my head." "No, but I'm pretty sure it isn't like Bea's was. She had a whole lot of hair down there. She called it her mop." "You know, Kenny, I liked this conversation a lot better when we were talking about Brenda." "I liked it better when we were talking about you." "Okay. If you were over here right now, and I told you that you could have one kiss, where would you kiss me?" "In the living room?" "What part of my body?" "Your neck." "My neck? Why?" "You've got a cute neck. I was thinking about kissing it when we were dancing." "This is getting better. Okay, you've had your kiss, so now I tell you that you can touch me, but just once, and only for five seconds, where would you touch me?" "Only five seconds? I guess I'd touch your butt." "That's good, why?" "I could see if you're soft or muscular." "I'm beginning to worry about you again, Kenny. Okay, this is the last one. If I was laying naked on a blanket in the living room, and we were all alone, where would you want to kiss me?" "Wherever you wanted me to." "Brenda said you kissed her really nice between her legs. I got hot just from listening to her telling me about it. She said the girl that worked for your mother taught you how to do that." "Did you just have me call you so that you could get Bea's phone number? If you did, you're out of luck, because I don't have it. Remember that girl who picked me up on her motorcycle, Elena? She thought you were cute, but she said you were too young for her." "Kenny, do I have to draw you a map? I wasn't talking about another girl, I was talking about you doing that to me." "Oh. I'll need to think about that. Is that all you want to do, just that?" "We could do other stuff too, but that's something I wanted to try, and Brenda said you did it good." "Well. I do it well. I used to make that mistake too, all the time." "I can't believe this conversation. You remind me of Gary sometimes, you know that? You act like an eleven year old." "She felt good, because I do it well." "Do you have someone else there that's listening in to our private conversation?" "No. I already told you I was left here alone. No one else is here. I don't let people listen in when I talk on the telephone. I know that you do that, but not me." "Okay, Kenny, last chance. Would you like to come over to my house tonight, and do that to me?" "I'm not sure where you live." "I live about a quarter mile away from you, towards town. The big gray house with the white porch in front. There's a tire swing in the front yard." "I know that house. That's where you live? We go right past there all the time. You have a big black and brown dog that's skinny." "That's Brownie, my father's dog. He's a Doberman. He likes to kill cats, so don't bring any cats with you." "I can't leave tonight, Emily. I promised my mom I'd stay in all night." "I could come there, but I'd have to bring Gary. You have a TV set he could watch, right? You need something for him to snack on too. I'll bring something for you to snack on. I've been wondering about your room that Brenda told me about." "How long would you be staying? I don't have any rubbers either. I had some, but I forget where they went to. They were in the ashtray of the limo, but Hans took them out and put them somewhere else. He told me, I think, but I forgot already." "You don't need any rubbers. We'll just do each other with our mouths." "I don't think so. If we're going to do anything, I'd like to do it all. This is just sex for the both of us. If we were close already, like I was with Brenda, it would be different. This is more like it was with Bea, two people scratching each others itch. For that, I'd want all of it." "So that's it then? You know I really liked you, Kenny? I thought that I'd make it easy for you, so you wouldn't have to be shy. Brenda told me that you haven't gone out with any girls before. You didn't have to put it that way." "Emily, I'm sorry too. I guess we both wanted different things from this phone call. I'm sure it was my fault for saying it like I did. I think I got scared because we were going too fast. The next time I call you, it will be different." "Different how?" "Well, for one thing, I'll be sure to find out from Hans where he put all those rubbers." "I think I understand you now. You don't want to be friends with me, right?" "For another thing, I'd like to get to know you a lot better before we start discussing doing things together like we were." "I'd rather you didn't call me any more, Kenny." "After we become friends, and understand each other better, maybe we can decide if we like each other enough to want to go together like boyfriend and girlfriend." "This is just starting to make me mad now. Hang up the phone." "I'm pretty lonely, Emily. I could use a friend to talk to." She hung up on me. I decided not to call her back right away. It would be better to let her stop being mad first. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 35 I was back in school in the early part of January when my mother had another of her serious depression withdrawals. Everything had been going fine, one minute she was laughing and happy, and the next, she went up to her room and started the painful process of guilt and overwhelming sadness. It was like one of those long slides they had in the playground at the school I had gone to. Mama would go anywhere from two or three days, to two or three months, seemingly perfectly normal, then, for some reason, or for no reason, she'd get on at the top of that slide, and ride it straight to the bottom. It wasn't always the same. Sometimes, it was two or three days and nights of crying, hiding and drinking, followed by a long night's sleep, and then she'd wake up and she'd be back to her normal self. Those were the good episodes, at least to Gerta and dad and I. The one in January took all of us by surprise, and it wasn't one of the good ones. After almost three months of no depressions, we'd all talked ourselves into starting to believe she might be cured, or at least be in a long remission. I called home on Thursday night, and Gerta told me that Mama was in the beginning stages of another bad one. It had come on sudden, and she had skipped right through all of the normal warning stages. My father was in New York, and couldn't get away before Saturday at the soonest. Gerta wanted to send Hans over to the Academy to bring me home to see if I could do anything. Uncle Bunny was up in Springfield, attending some lawyers workshop and convention, and he was unavailable to come and try to help her through this withdrawal of hers. It was late, and the school administrator had left for the day. I needed to go over to 'Search Hall' and get signed out by one of the 'special' counselors before I could leave the campus. They wouldn't approve me leaving, not until Hans got there and told them it was a critical family emergency, and that my mother's life was threatened. As soon as I got home, Gerta told me that Elena was in with my mother, helping to clean her up from an accident. I'm sure the accident was probably her urinating or defecating on herself. In her deepest stages, she was near catatonic, and did nothing for herself, other than breathe in and out. Even her eyes refused to focus. When Elena came out, carrying Mama's dirty laundry, she gave me a look that let me know she was worried. She had no previous exposure to this with my mother. "I can't do this, Slick. She needs to be in a hospital with trained nurses. I don't have any training for this." "Elena, don't worry. Just do what you can to help her. It's like taking care of a big baby." "I don't think so. It would be better if she did wear diapers though. It isn't my thing. This is way more than I thought it would be." I didn't have the best composure right at that moment. I was worried about my mother, and I knew it had to be bad, because Gerta wouldn't have called me otherwise. I figured that Elena must be pretty spoiled, if something like this bothered her so much. I remembered when our whole floor got the Whooping Cough and the Chicken Pox, at the same time, and everyone who could, had to pitch in and change dirty sheets, and keep the little kids from scratching at their scabs. I held my tongue, even though I had lost a lot of my respect for Elena. Why did she think she was hired, just to sit around and watch television all day? Gerta had told me that Elena was less than useless in the kitchen. I found Mama on her bed, curled up into a tight ball with her head underneath the covers. She wasn't crying, and that told me that she had already moved beyond that stage. I started talking to her, getting up on the bed to hold her. When I took the covers off of her, she was dressed in one of her white bath robes, and that was all. I spent all night with her, talking to her, hugging her, and doing everything I could to get her to respond to me. Nothing worked. Sometime, early in the morning, I stopped talking, and tried to get comfortable on the bed. I knew nothing was working, so I let myself go to sleep. I only slept for a few hours, and when I woke up, Mama had gone to the bathroom in her robe. I had to half carry, half drag her, into the bathroom to get her cleaned up, and into the shower with me. I remember thinking that this would have been a lot easier if Elena had been in there with me, helping, and doing the job she was hired to do. After the shower, I managed to carry Mama back to the bed. Gerta came in to check on us, and she helped me put a night gown on Mama, then she went downstairs to fix me something to eat. At two o'clock that afternoon, my dad called. After he spoke with Gerta, he asked her to put me on the phone. "Kenny, I just talked to Gerta. She tells me that it's bad this time?" "Real bad. I spent all night, and she didn't respond at all. It's almost like she isn't even there anymore." "I can't get away right now. We're in the middle of a big shakeup here, and I need to stay here to protect my division. They're trying to cut away everything. No one seems to understand that these short term savings are going to have a huge negative impact on earnings for years down the road." "Mama might be dying." "She's not dying. She's come out of more of these than you can count. Don't be dramatic, Kenny, I feel bad enough about not being there already." "You don't. If you felt bad enough, you'd already be on your way back here. I was with her the last time, and this time is a lot worse. Before, I knew she was inside her body. I'm not sure she's there right now. She isn't doing anything." "Kenny, I can't simply drop everything, and come running, every time something like this happens. There are more than a thousand people depending on me to try to save their jobs. I have an obligation to them." "More than the one you have to Mama?" "That isn't fair, Kenny. If she were all right now, she'd tell you that herself." "If she were all right, she wouldn't have to. I'll do the best I can, but I don't know anything else to try. When can you be home again?" "I need to stay here for another week. If I don't, whatever they don't cut won't be worth me trying to save it." "Like Mama." I put the phone down and held my mother, rocking her in my arms. I was mad at my father, but mostly, I was disappointed with him. He already knew that the people who were in charge in New York, were going to make all of the final decisions. He had been telling us that at the dinner table for the past month or more. He said the company had tried to grow too fast, and had financed their purchases and paid too much for what they bought. The cash flow increase they got wasn't enough for them to be able to absorb all the new debt they had taken on to finance their new acquisitions. In the last two months, their stock value had gone down over thirty per cent. The people in New York were trying to divest some of their divisions to pay down their debt, so that the stock wouldn't keep falling. My father said that all the other division heads were in favor of this, as long as it didn't affect their own division. "Kenny, Mr. Parsons is on the phone again, and he wants to speak with you. He told me to tell you that you better not hang up on him again." Gerta had climbed the stairs to tell me this. I picked up the phone again. "Kenny, there's no call for you to do that with me, or to take that attitude. Each of us has a role to play, and right now, my greatest value is to stay right here and fight to salvage whatever is possible. Your mother feels the same as I do about the duty we have to our employees. If I were there, what possible good could I do her?" "She loves you. If she'd come back for anyone, she'd do it for you. You could try to help her." "If I thought I could do her any good, Kenny, I'd be on the next charter flight. If I leave here now, they'll sell off my whole division for pennies on the dollar. They're all panicking here. Someone has to stay and talk some sense to them." "You should come home. Even if you don't help her, if she comes back, it would mean a lot to her that you put her ahead of your business. If she doesn't ever come back, how would you feel if you hadn't at least tried to help her?" There was silence on the other end of the line. I was still rocking Mama in my arms. I didn't think he would come home, because his business was too important to him. He surprised me again. "I'm going to hire a charter flight, Kenny. Have Hans standing by, and I'll have the pilot radio ahead our time of arrival. I'll be coming into Bolling. You stay with Bertie until I get there." I told him that I'd be here, and that Hans would wait for the call to tell him when to meet his flight. I hadn't put the phone down for more than fifteen minutes before Gerta came back up and told me that Uncle Bunny was on the line. I told her that Hans had to be available to pick my father up at the airport in Bolling. She nodded her understanding and left. "Kenny, how's Bertie?" "Bad, Uncle Bunny. She isn't doing anything, no matter what I do. I've been with her since last night, and she hasn't even blinked. I talked to dad and he's flying home. He said it's bad in New York, and they're all panicking and trying to sell off whole divisions of the company. He thinks they're going to cut his division by a lot." "He's leaving to come home? That isn't like Tommy. Especially at a time like this. What's he going to do there, except wait in his study for word about her? His place is there. Our people can't stand an upheaval right now. Most of them are already stretched by the Economy." "That's only business. He should be here. This is his wife that needs him." "You aren't thinking this through, Kenny. Bertie isn't going to even know he came home, not unless she comes out of it. If she comes out of it, what difference would it make whether he was in New York, or in his study?" "All of you think the same way. What difference does it make if he tells her he loves her? What difference does it make if he puts her ahead of his business for once? What difference does it make if she stays like this for the rest of her life? You always come up with the wrong answers, because you don't think anything or anyone is more important than your business. If you love someone, they have to be more important than a business. None of you even think that you're more important than the business. If I thought like you do, I'd want to go into a coma. My mother is collapsed in my arms, totally unaware of anything, and her husband and her brother are more concerned with talking about some stupid business. Something is wrong with the way you think, Uncle Bunny." Uncle Bunny tried to explain it all to me again, but I didn't care. When he hung up, he told me he'd call me to get an update later. It was no wonder that Mama got into these depressions. Elena did more for her than her own husband or brother were willing to. I thought Uncle Bunny was more concerned about dad leaving New York, than dad had been, and that was saying a lot. It was after eleven before dad got home. He looked too tired to do any good anyway. I knew business was important, like money, but was it worth killing yourself over? He must have thought so. Uncle Bunny showed up a little before one in the morning, and I went to my bedroom to go to sleep for awhile. The two of them were sitting on mom's bed, talking about Consolidated Foods, and the way the whole company was getting shredded up, and spit out by those dummies on the board of directors. I was so tired, that I didn't even tell them that they should try to pay some attention to Mama. I went into my room, and collapsed on my bed. It was after noon on Saturday before I woke up. I went into mom's bedroom, and Uncle Bunny was asleep beside her, and my dad was in his room, sleeping on his own bed. Mama was asleep on her side, but she wasn't balled up like she had been. That was the first difference that I noticed. When I went closer, I noticed her eyeballs were moving under her eyelids. She hadn't done that before either. I shook Uncle Bunny awake. "Mama is different, Uncle Bunny, she isn't coiled up anymore, and her eyeballs are moving like she's dreaming." "She's sleeping, Kenny. She came out of her withdrawn state at four o'clock this morning." "What did you do?" "Nothing. That's the strange part. Tommy and I were talking about the mess with Consolidated, and we had been for several hours. Bertie moved her arm, and then she groaned about something. I thought, at first, that she was going into a recitation of what you always call her story. I thought that was a good thing if she was, because it meant she was becoming much more alert than she had been. That wasn't what she was saying though. She was trying to tell Tommy and me something. She wanted us to buy back the company, if the price is right. She came completely out of it, when we didn't understand what she meant at first. 'If they're so anxious to unload it, why don't we buy it from them, if the price they're asking is good enough?' That's what she said to us." "Why didn't you wake me up to tell me that she came out of it?" "We were going to, but none of us wanted to be lectured again about us putting business ahead of family. Besides, we had to work up some preliminary numbers for a buyout offer that Tommy is taking back with him on Sunday night. We don't have that much time, and we have to be able to act on it before they come to their senses, and start to realize that things aren't as bad as they think." "I'm hungry. Are you sure she's all right?" "She's fine. She came back pretty sharp, in fact. We discussed some good ideas on how to set up short term financing for the purchase price. She wants us to buy the whole division, including the two new acquisitions they've bought up since our buy out and merger. We can package them together, then spin them off with their own IPO, in order to recover all the purchase money we're offering. This will leave us back in possession of our old company, with only the current accounts and equipment loans as debt. Tommy knows a New York M&A guy who can handle the bridge loan." "None of that makes any sense to me." "Bertie had an idea that will make us a ton of new money. We talked about it, and everyone agrees that it wouldn't have been possible if you hadn't tried to shame us into rallying around Bertie. We're going to give you ten per cent of the company, when, and if, we are successful in getting it back again." "How is the rest going to be divided?" "Is that avarice I hear? Isn't ten per cent enough for you?" "How much is dad getting?" "Thirty per cent, why?" "Are you each getting thirty per cent?" "Kenny, ten per cent is very fair." When I kept looking at him, he nodded. "Yes, we all get thirty per cent, and Tommy gets voting control of all our stock for ten years." "Will my ten per cent be worth a lot?" "A few million dollars I'd say." "I'm going to go find Gerta and go eat something. We need to get someone different to help Mama, Elena is too squeamish to handle it." After I got Gerta to warm me up some leftover meat loaf, I went looking for Hans, and asked him if he'd be able to take me for a ride in the limo, after I got cleaned up better. He said he'd have to check with my dad, but other than that, he was free. I told him that dad was sleeping, and that I thought it would only take a couple hours anyway. "I'll have to wait and see anyway, Kenny. He said he might need to go back to New York." "He's staying until tomorrow, for sure. Uncle Bunny told me. They have some business deal they need to work on." "Okay, where do you want to go?" "You know that gray house with the tire swing and the Doberman? I need to go there and see if this girl wants to take a ride with me. Put some of those rubbers in the ashtray, all right?" "Are you going to clean up any mess?" "Yes, Hans, I remember your rules. She probably won't want to go anyway, because she's mad at me. I feel like celebrating though, and she's the only one I know that might go with me." "What about that Connor girl?" "Too many complications." I went up and put on a nice pair of slacks, and a good shirt. I had a real nice leather jacket that I'd gotten for Christmas. It had a fur collar, inside lining, and it was very warm. On the way over there, I tried to think up something funny to say to Emily. When we got there, Hans pulled up into their long driveway, and stopped next to where the Doberman was chained up. I got out on the other side, and walked up until I was sure I was further from him than the chain would stretch, before crossing back and walking on the driveway again. I went up on their porch, and pressed the front doorbell. I was surprised when Emily answered the door herself. "What do you want?" "Can Gary come out to play?" "Is that your limo parked in my driveway?" "Do you want me to tell him to move it?" "Why did you really come here? I know it wasn't to see me?" "I wanted to say hello to Brownie, and since I was already here, I thought I could get you to come for a ride with me." "A ride where?" "Anyplace where I can get a snack." "Now you're hungry?" "I'll tell Hans to drive us out to Clement Academy. By the time we get there, I'll be full, and I can show you where my apartment is on campus." "Do you have snacks in the limo?" "Not yet." "Suppose I'm hungry too?" "I have to have the limo back in a couple of hours." "I need to tell my mother that I'm going out. What were you going to do if I turned you down?" "I think I was going to go home and cry." "Why didn't you call me first?" "Because you would have said no." "I still might have said no. Why did you think I wouldn't?" "Two reasons. Today's my lucky day, and you already told me you were curious about what Brenda told you." "What makes today your lucky day?" "Three things. My mother got over being sick this morning. My family is going to give me something worth a whole lot of money. And, you're going to come with me for a nice ride." She smiled at me, then turned around, to get her coat and to tell her mother. I went over to Hans' front passenger door to tell him where we were going after Emily was ready. I told him to take his time, and to try to make the trip to school last an hour. I'd already checked, and there were three packs of rubbers in the ashtray. When Emily came out, I opened the door for her, and then waited for her to get inside, before I climbed back in and shut the door. "What was the matter with your mother?" "She wasn't feeling like her normal self, but she's better now, and resting." "Was it like a migraine?" "I guess. I just know it was hurting her." "What did they give you that was so valuable?" "I can't tell you yet. It would violate some exchange laws if I did." "It was stocks?" "I can't say. I'll tell you later though." "Where are those snacks you mentioned?" "I was going to ask you the very same thing." "First, I want to tell you why I picked you. I don't want to get a bad reputation. Since you don't go to my school, or know any of my friends, besides Brenda, I picked you. I like you, and I think you're cute, but that's not the reason why I picked you. Now, you tell me why you picked me." "I like you, and you're cute too. Plus, you're not Brenda. You live real close, and you already told me that you'd like to do stuff with me." "I'm not going to love you, or be your girlfriend." "That's okay." "Do you still want to do to me what you did to Brenda?" "More than ever." "Are we going to make out first?" "We have less than an hour. We can make out later, if there's still time." "Did you make out with Brenda before you did that to her?" "No, she just lifted up her skirt and I did it." "I never did it like that. Paolo always kissed me, and got me hot before he did it to me." "Aren't you already wet?" "I'm pretty wet, but, I thought we could kind of work up to it." "Let's try it my way at first. If it doesn't work for you. I'll wash my face with this bar rag, and we'll do it Paolo's way." I found out something about Emily then. She was a big talker, but, when it came time to do anything, she had a million reasons for not doing it. By the time Hans pulled up in front of the school, we were still negotiating. I was enjoying it too, because I had already figured out that this Paolo was a mythical person. Emily was too nervous to have the kind of experience she claimed for herself. When Hans stopped the limo, I pulled the window down, and pointed out where my apartment was to her. I told her that I lived on the second floor, and pointed it out to her. I also mentioned that I would probably live on the first floor in my junior and senior years. It was cold out, so we didn't keep the window open for very long. I pressed the intercom, and asked Hans to drive us back the same way we'd come. "You never did it with anyone, did you?" "I did so. Why would I make something like that up?" "Did you lose your nerve? I bet you did. You thought you were going to let me do it to you, but you chickened out instead. Were you really going to let me kiss you, and make out with you?" "It isn't my fault you aren't as good as Paolo was. He didn't have any trouble getting me to do it with him." "I'm not disappointed. I'm glad you haven't got any experience. I'm having a good time just being here with you. I wish I'd brought something to eat though, I'm hungry. Are you hungry?" "We could always go somewhere and get something if you want. I know a real good sandwich place over in Bolling. Can we go there?" "What's the name of it?" "The sign says Delicatessen. It's over by the college. I think it's on Kramer St., or, maybe on Flower St. It's one of those for sure." I pushed the intercom and asked Hans if he knew of a sandwich store named Delicatessen in Bolling, on either Kramer or Flower Streets. Hans said he knew it, and it was owned by a friend of his. "I forgot to bring any money, Hans, can you loan me some until we get home?" When we got there, Hans told me that the family had an open charge account at the store, and we'd just add whatever we ate to the bill. We went in then, Hans coming in with us too, and he ordered a lot of other stuff to go, from both the owner and his wife. While they were all talking in German together, Emily and I looked at the sandwich choices and waited for them to stop talking so we could place our order. I got a hot pastrami on rye bread, with a big dill pickle, and some cole slaw. Emily had a turkey and swiss cheese on regular bread, and she had the side serving be the potato salad. We both had root beer sodas. The lady that brought it to us was the owner's wife, and she looked at me funny, but despite that funny look, she was smiling at me the whole time. My sandwich was very good, with a whole lot of pastrami on it. There was so much meat heaped on the bread, that a lot of it fell out onto my plate, and I ate it from there with my fingers. It was good that way too. I liked the cole slaw, it tasted just like the kind that Gerta made. Emily couldn't finish her potato salad, so I finished it for her, and it tasted just like Gerta's potato salad did too. Hans had bought a lot of other stuff while we were busy eating. When we were done, and ready to leave, Hans brought the owner over and introduced me to him. I introduced Emily to the owner and to Hans. Both of them bowed to her, and she seemed to like that a lot. She said something in German to them, and they all started speaking in German at once. That took another ten minutes, while they told her, in English, how good her German accent was. The owner's wife came over with two pastries for Emily and me. These were just like the ones Gerta baked too. I wondered if Gerta did all their cooking for them. It sure tasted like it. I found out later, when I asked Gerta, that it was her who bought a lot of our food already made from the delicatessen. I also found out that delicatessen was a type of restaurant and store, not the name of it. On the ride back from Bolling, Emily sat on the same seat I was sitting on, and she let me hold her hand. She asked me if I'd brought rubbers, and I told her I had. She then wanted to see them. I took them out of the ashtray and showed them to her. "Can I have one, Kenny, please?" "Why? Do you want one for your scrapbook?" "For my purse, to bring to school. Please. I'll pay you for it. How much do they cost?" "I'm not sure. Hans buys them for me. I'll let you have one, if you'll give me a French kiss." "All right. Deal." I kissed her for about fifteen minutes, right up until the limo stopped in Emily's driveway. I handed her the rubber, and she put it in her pocket, thanking me for it. "Promise you won't use that, not unless I'm there with you." "I don't want to use it. I just want to show it at school. I'll go through my purse, pretending to look for something, and let them see it by accident." "Why would you want to do that?" "I'm sophisticated, Kenny. All sophisticated people are liberated and hedonistic. It's in our very nature." "If that's true, how come all I got was a few kisses from you?" "I told you, Paolo had no trouble claiming my most precious gift. You need to try to be more like him." "Like him, as in imaginary? Does it bother you that I wanted to lick your pussy for real?" "Is that what you call it? In the books, it's called cunnilingus." "I've never read books about it. All of my experience is with real people." "I guess I just wasn't in the mood for it today. Perhaps another day?" "Did Brenda tell you about me having to do it to myself after I finished up with doing her?" "You mean masturbate?" "I'm going to be thinking about you tonight, Emily. I'll be wishing that you hadn't been just kidding me about letting me do that to you." "I don't mind if you think about me when you do that. Do you usually think about people you know when you masturbate?" "No, not usually. Do you play golf?" "No, but my father plays. Why did you change the subject?" "I thought we were finished talking about it. Did you want to talk about it some more?" "I really did get super hot when Brenda told me about the two of you in this limo. I didn't lie to you about Paolo, Kenny. Sometimes, I get a little confused about things, between real life, and my make believe life. I'm not always able to tell the difference." "Me too. I can tell the difference easy though. Now, my real life is better than my make believe life used to be. I still get confused about other things though. Are we going to be friends now?" "Are you going to the dance at the club tonight?" "I wasn't planning on it. Are you going?" "We almost always go. If you do come, please ask me to dance, so I don't have to be the one who has to ask you." I got out and walked her to the door. I told her I'd ask her to dance, if we went, but that I didn't do any fast dancing. I got back home at five thirty. Mama was still in her room, but now, she was awake, and sitting up in the middle of her bed. Uncle Bunny was sitting on the far side of the bed, writing down notes on one of his big yellow legal pads. My father was sitting on the near side of the bed, using a calculator, trying to make some numbers forecasts about something. "Kenny, you're back! I'm sorry for giving you such a scare. We've been so busy in here with these new developments, that we didn't realize you had gone out until Gerta informed us." "Hi, Mama. How are you feeling?" "I feel surprisingly good. Gerta brought me in some broth, and the three of us just now each finished one of her chicken pot pies. Have you eaten?" "Yes, Hans took me to his friend's restaurant, and I had a big sandwich and some coleslaw. Are you feeling well enough to go to the dance at the club tonight?" "Oh, no, I don't feel quite up to that. I didn't know you were interested in attending." "That's okay. A girl I know is going, and she asked me to dance with her, if I went." "I'll take him, Bertie, you should get some more rest. Kenny, I need to stop off at the house and get myself ready, but I can come by to pick you up at seven thirty." "Do you mind, Mama? I'll stay home if you want me to?" "Go. I'm probably only going back to sleep anyway. Is this the same girl that you danced with at the Christmas dance?" "Yes. Her name is Emily Carstairs. Her father is a writer." "Yes, Jerome Carstairs. I knew he had moved back into the area. He was a year behind us in high school. Bunny, wasn't there some scandal concerning him? Something about one of the Coulter sisters?" "Anne Coulter. She left to visit her Aunt and Uncle in Detroit, very suddenly. There were rumors as to why she left so suddenly. That was about seventeen years ago. Jerry Carstairs was teaching English and Creative Writing at the high school then. He resigned at the semester break. He sold that first book of his shortly after, I believe. I don't remember what, but something else happened to Anne. Oh, I remember now, I believe she was in a bad automobile accident, a passenger as I recall, but I'm a bit fuzzy on the details." "That's right Anne. She was a fine junior golfer, too. Her sister, Donna, married one of the Richard's twins, although I don't recall which one it was. What was the other sister's name? The one who went into that convent?" Wasn't it Karen? Something like that. A pretty girl, easily the prettiest of the three of them." "Clara, that's what her name was. She had the longest hair, almost pure black too. All the Coulter girls shared that hair coloring. I remember thinking what a shame it would be if they made her cut it when she took her final vows. Beautiful hair, beautiful girl, hard to believe she'd want to lead a cloistered life." I asked Uncle Bunny how dressed up he was going to be, and we both decided dark suits would be good. He got back at almost eight o'clock, but that wasn't very late for Uncle Bunny to be. We didn't get to the country club until almost eight thirty. The restaurant closed at seven thirty, so they could set up for the dance. Luckily, Gerta had made me one of her chicken pot pies too, or else I'd have been hungry again. We got a table over near the far side, close to the dance floor. It was a small table, with only three chairs. Uncle Bunny ordered me a Coke, and himself a wine spritzer. He let me taste it, and it tasted pretty good. I liked the Coke better though. I had just taken a drink from my glass, when I notice the Connor family being seated at a table no more than twenty feet from ours. Brenda looked wonderful. She had on this green dress, a strapless one, and her hair really went great with it. It looked so good on her, I bet she bought it just because her hair made it look so nice. She caught me staring at her, so I had to look away really quick. I saw Richard staring at me too, but I just smiled at him. Mrs. Connor was looking at me too, then I figured out it was Uncle Bunny that she was really looking at. I didn't see Emily at first, then I saw Gary coming out of the men's room, and I watched to see where he walked to. As soon as I saw Emily, I waved at her. The band was setting up over on the platform that had been wheeled in. It wasn't the same band they had for the Christmas dance. This one had only six people in it. Once they were ready, the lights were turned down, except for the spotlights shining on the stage. One of the men introduced the band, and a pretty blond woman, who hadn't been on stage before came up, and she started singing the first song. I kept waiting for a good song to come up, one that I knew I could dance to. Uncle Bunny started dancing right away. He was a pretty good dancer too, at least I thought he was. He was heavy, but he danced up on the balls of his feet. He danced fast or slow. In the fast dances, he did a lot of fancy stuff, like turning, or spinning the woman around. He made a lot of other moves that were different from what the other dancers were doing. It was fun watching him. It was about half an hour before the band started playing Moon River. I knew I could dance to that one, so I hurried over to Emily's table and asked her to dance. She got up, and we went out on the dance floor. A lot of other people must have been waiting for a good, slow dance song, because it got crowded soon after we got out there. "Why did you wait so long to ask me to dance, Kenny?" "I wanted a good song. I'm not much of a dancer." "Did you see Brenda? She looks nice. Are you going to ask her to dance?" "I saw her. You look nice too. I came here tonight to dance with you." "I don't mind if you dance with her too, except you have to dance with me after every dance you have with her. Did you notice that she didn't bring Garrett with her tonight?" "Why do you spend so much time talking and worrying about what Brenda does, Emily? I didn't come to the dance to see Brenda. I came to see you." "Are you saying you don't like her anymore?" "No, I still like her. I told you that we don't get along. I didn't stop liking her, but I still don't want to be her friend right now." "Right now? How about later? Maybe next week or next month?" "Emily, I don't know when or if. Not now though." The song ended, but the next one was a slow dance too, so we kept dancing. I had my hand down low on Emily's back. It was low enough, that she looked a little nervous, but not so low that she could say anything to me about it. "Is my hand bothering you? I can move it if you're uncomfortable." "You aren't going to really squeeze my butt are you?" "No. I might rub it though, if it gets much darker in here. Would you slap me if I did that?" I had pulled her closer, because there was a lot of people dancing now, and we were all crowded in together. We weren't really dancing anymore, because it was too crowded to dance. We were swaying. I was pretty sure that she felt it when I bumped my dick against her stomach. "Don't do that!" "I didn't do it. The guy behind me bumped into me." "You have an erection." "I do not. I have a semi." "I could feel it. It felt hard to me." I had an erection by then, but not the first time I bumped her. "I have one now. Do you want to feel the difference?" I was teasing her, and I wasn't going to bump her with it, but she got bumped and pushed forward into me. "Can you tell the difference now?" "Yes. Is that as big as it gets?" I didn't know what to tell her. I had noticed sometimes that it was bigger than other times, but, I needed to look at it, or feel it, to be able to tell for sure. "I think it can still get bigger, but not much bigger." "Paolo's was a lot bigger than that." I stopped dancing. Well, I stopped swaying. Was she going to seriously compare me to a make believe boyfriend? The music stopped then, and the band leader told the audience that they were taking a fifteen minute break. I walked Emily back close to her table, and said thank you for the dances. When I got back to the table Uncle Bunny and I were at, he was sitting there talking with Mrs. Connor. Brenda was standing next to her mother, leaving my seat open for me. I turned sharply left, and headed for the men's room. There were a lot of reasons why I didn't want to talk to Brenda. The most important one was that I didn't trust myself. I was liable to do almost anything, cry, yell at her, beg her to forgive me, I didn't know what I would do, and I really didn't want to find out. I washed and dried my hands three or four times, and then I walked out of the rest room and they were all still there. Uncle Bunny was speaking to Mrs. Connor, and I saw Richard and Mr. Connor sitting at their table. I was almost desperate enough to go over and try to talk to them. At least I knew that I wasn't going to start crying around them. I decided to turn around and go down the stairs. I figured I could go outside for some fresh air. I knew it was cold out, but it was better than my other options, and if I went back in the men's room again, people might start to wonder about me. I was outside for about five minutes before Uncle Bunny came out looking for me. "Kenny, is there a problem?" "I'm trying to avoid speaking to Brenda." "Ah. Well, as coincidence would have it, I'm trying to avoid speaking with her mother. Shall we scurry away like craven cowards, or go back upstairs and face the music?" "We have to go up and get our coats out of the claim check." "I'm not that cold, are you? We can come get them tomorrow, or whenever." "Your car has a heater anyway, right?" "An excellent heater. Shall we?" I nodded to him, and the two of us stole away. We went back the next morning to retrieve our coats, having a quick drink while there too. I got a chance to taste Uncle Bunny's Screwdriver, and he told me a funny story about a chauffeur and a rich woman. When the chauffeur had a flat, he got out to change the tire. The rich woman rolled down the window in the back seat and said to the chauffeur: 'Do you want a screwdriver?' Then he said: 'I can't right now, I need to change this damn tire.' I thought it was pretty funny. Uncle Bunny had spent the night at our house. The three of them spent all the next morning, after we got back from getting our coats, talking about the offer they were going to make to buy dad's division back from Consolidated Foods. At three o'clock, all four of us piled into the limo, to take him over to the airport in Bolling, so that he could catch his charter plane back to New York. We stayed to watch his plane take off, and then we rode back home. Uncle Bunny had an early dinner with us before leaving. I talked to Mama in the library, waiting until Hans had finished helping Gerta in the kitchen, before having him drive me back to the Academy. I found out from Gerta, after dinner, that Elena had quit Friday night. I told her to try to hire someone with some nursing experience. It had been a very eventful four days. Very few things had happened the way I thought they would. I had arrived home very concerned for my mother's health and for her future, and was extremely pleased to see her so quickly recovered. Uncle Bunny and dad didn't seem to have any questions about the abrupt turnaround she had made. They were very excited, and were distracted by the prospect of reacquiring the company, especially under the favorable terms they were hoping for. To me, it was like they were deliberately ignoring an obvious truth. Mama was faking her withdrawal symptoms. What kind of stubborn self control, and perverse willfulness, would have to be present for someone to pretend to be so oblivious to her surroundings? How could she stand to soil herself the way she had? I wasn't absolutely certain that this was what was happening, but I had already formed an opinion, and was waiting for the next opportunity to test it. I had conflicting emotions about it. I hoped I was right about her only pretending to be so paralyzed by her depression, because that meant she wasn't in the grave danger that we all had supposed. If it turned out I was right though, I was going to be very upset with her for causing all of us so much worry and concern. When we drove by Emily's house, I thought about the time I had spent with her over the weekend. We were both different from the other people that I knew. I didn't know if it was good different or bad different, but I was hoping to spend more time with her to find out. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 36 I got back to school just in time to be there for all of the drama of Nigel finding out that his whole family was going back to England, and that, they were planning on leaving him behind to finish out the school year. Nigel's father had been promoted, and was heading back to run the marketing department for the entire auto company. Naturally, this news was devastating to Nigel. He had felt rejected by his family before any of this happened, but hearing the news made it seem far worse. He was actually afraid that they meant to abandon him in America, for good. All of us tried to make him feel better, but we didn't succeed. Nigel went to his classes all that week, but stayed in his own bedroom, brooding and alone, most of the rest of the time. I called Emily on Tuesday night, and again on Thursday, but all she could talk about on Tuesday was Brenda's hurt feelings because I had gone so far out of my way to avoid her at the dance. On Thursday, she started out with more of the same, but I managed to warn her that I was going to start avoiding her if she didn't stop bringing Brenda up every time we talked. "She's my friend too, Kenny. It makes me feel bad to be caught in the middle like this. She likes you, and you like her. I don't know why you want to pretend that you don't like her anymore." "I'm not. I told you I still like her. Why is it so hard for you to understand that I don't want to keep getting into trouble with her? Why do you even care? Every time I talk to you, you keep bringing Brenda's name up, and talking about her. I don't want to talk about Brenda." "You don't have to bite my head off, you know? I see her everyday, and she asks me if I talked to you or not. What am I supposed to say to her when she keeps asking me if we talked about her or not?" "Tell her I don't want to talk about her, and that I'm not interested in anything having to do with her anymore. That's what you should tell her." "I can't say that to her, she's a friend of mine." "Emily, it costs me money to phone you like this. I hate spending my money just to have you talking about Brenda. I'm going to hang up and stop calling you if you keep on bringing her up to me when I call you." "Can I tell you one more thing about her, and then we can talk about other things?" "No." "She spending the whole weekend at my house. She wants you to take us both for a ride in your limo." "I said no, but you talked about her anyway." "I wanted you to know that. I can't not take her with us, not if she's my guest for the weekend, can I? That would be rude, wouldn't it?" "Yes, it would be. Fortunately, I'm going to be very busy this weekend with other stuff, so you won't have to do that because of me. Someday I'd like you to tell me why you think it's okay for you to just go ahead and do what I asked you not to do. You and Brenda both do that, and I think that's really rude." "I can tell you right now, Kenny. It's because you're stubborn, and you refuse to do what's best for you. People who like you are just trying to help you with that." "What you're saying, is that I should do what you want, because what I want to do, I only want because I'm being stubborn?" "Not everything you want. No one is stubborn all the time. You are being stubborn about Brenda though." "All right. You and Brenda enjoy your weekend." "What are you going to be doing?" "I'm going to try to find someone who doesn't know either you or Brenda, someone I don't have to be stubborn with." "See, you're being stubborn again. Besides, you'll probably just stay home, wishing you were with us anyway." It turned out that Emily was half right. I did mostly just stay home, although Mama and I played golf on Saturday and Sunday. My father was still in New York. He was spending all of his time in meetings, waiting to find out what Consolidated was going to decide to finally do. He still hadn't made them any offer, because he said they weren't at a point where any of them knew what they wanted to do yet. He spoke with Mama and Uncle Bunny everyday though, on the telephone. I could hear Mama telling him not to wait too long. Whenever Mama finished talking to my father, she'd call Uncle Bunny, and they'd talk business too. Emily was wrong about me wishing that I was with her and Brenda though. What I was wishing was that I had a girl like Bea again. I had been thinking that I hadn't appreciated what I had with Bea before, when she was still living with us, and before I fell in love with Brenda. With Bea, it wasn't all complicated. I didn't need to think about her all the time, and she didn't try to make me do a lot of things I didn't want to either. Gerta still hadn't found anyone to help her with my mother. On Sunday, while I was waiting for Hans and my mother to get back from a meeting she had with one of the golf learning center people, I was keeping Gerta company in the kitchen. "Gerta, how are you doing with getting a girl in to help you with things?" "Not good yet, Kenny. I've talked to some people, but very few people are looking for a live in situation today. It can't be just anyone either. You mother is very particular. She doesn't want another Bea or even Elena." "You should get someone who can really help you, Gerta, and then you would have more time to help Mama. If Mama isn't eating or doing well, it wouldn't matter how bad the cooking was. Hans could eat out if she wasn't cooking good enough. You could teach someone to cook easier than you could teach her to know what to do with Mama." "I do more than cook, Kenny, but I see what you mean. You want me to make taking care of your mother my highest priority." "I wish we had Bea back." "For your mother?" "No." "I hope you aren't asking what I think you might be?" "I'm not asking anything. I was just thinking about Bea, that's all." "Bea wasn't like most girls, Kenny. You can't expect someone new to do what she did with you." "That isn't what I meant, Gerta. I was just thinking about Bea, and the way I treated her after I met Brenda. That's all." "I told Hans they were making a big mistake sending you to an all boy's school. You should go to the regular high school, so you can meet lots of different girls. The back of the big car is no place for a boy to be learning about young girls." I was sorry I'd brought Bea up to her. I was actually relieved when Hans and Mama came back at about five thirty. We all had dinner together in the kitchen, and at eight o'clock, Mama drove me back to the school herself. On the way there, she told me about some changes she was making in the golf learning center plans. One of the changes was that she was going to have a green built with sand traps all around it, except for a narrow walkway to get up on the green. Golfers needed to learn sand play, and even more, she said, they needed to learn how to pitch the ball over a trap and onto a green, without putting the ball into the trap because of nerves. She said the new sand practice area would take up more than three acres. I asked her why she didn't just make it part of the short game area, and she told me that there wasn't room where she had decided to locate the short game area, and she didn't want to move it away from where it was. If Mama had a weakness in golf, it was her touch, when pitching or lobbing over sand. I had a pretty good idea of who would get the most use out of her new sand play green. I waited until Wednesday night to call Emily. We talked for thirty minutes, and she didn't bring Brenda's name up the entire time we talked. I told her that I was planning on going to the dance at the club on Saturday. She wanted to know if I wanted to take her out for something to eat earlier on Saturday, but I told her that my dad was coming home Friday night and we were planning on playing golf together on Saturday. "Do you want to go to the movies Friday, after I get back from school? We can get Hans to drive us there, and then he can pick us up afterwards. My dad is flying commercial, and he's going to rent a car at the airport because he's not coming in until late." "Which movie is playing?" "I don't know. Why don't you check on that?" "Why can't I come over to your house instead? We could watch television. You can show me your room too, if you want to?" "Would your parents let you go to a boys house?" "Sure, why not? Your mother will be there, right? You can invite me for dinner too." "All right, you're invited for dinner, Friday night. What time can you come over?" "Aren't you going to come pick me up? That's how people normally do it for dates." "I won't be home before about five thirty, at the earliest, and then I'd want to change into better clothes for dinner. We eat at around seven, usually." "Come get me on your way home. I'll visit with your mother while you're getting dressed." "What do you like to eat? Gerta's a great cook, and she can make almost anything. Do you like lobster?" "Can she make Italian food? I'd like a baked zitti, or veal parmigiana. Almost anything Italian other than spaghetti." "I'll call her and tell her what you want. Don't worry, she'll probably make three or four Italian things, then you can eat just the things you like best." As soon as I hung up with her, I called home. I told Gerta about having company on Friday, and told her what Emily had said about wanting Italian food. After I talked to Gerta, I spoke with my mother and asked her permission to have Emily over for dinner, and to watch television with me. "Of course, sweetie, this is your home, and you are free to invite whomever you wish. Is this that girl from the Christmas dance?" "Emily. Yes, and we're going to stop off and pick her up when Hans comes to get me on Friday. Is it going to be all right if I show her my room after dinner? I don't know whether that's allowed or not." "Kenny, this is your home. You don't have to ask permission to bring a guest over. It would be thoughtful to inform Gerta so she can plan her menu, but, other than that, who you entertain, and how you entertain, these things we'll leave up to you. Of course, we'll expect you to act like a gentleman with your guests." "Like a gentleman. What does that mean, because I've never had to act like a gentleman before?" "Use good manners, and don't act boorish with her. Perhaps you should discuss this with Uncle Bunny. He has a good understanding of gentlemanly behavior. It is more an attitude than anything else." As soon as we got off the phone, I called Uncle Bunny. He and I talked for about fifteen minutes. The main thing he told me was that I shouldn't take advantage, or try to force my attentions if they were unwanted. I asked him if it would be all right if I locked my bedroom door when Emily was in there with me. "Are you planning on requiring that level of privacy, Kenny?" "I don't know yet. She talks one way, but all I've done so far is kiss her a few times." "Do you really like her, or are you just responding to the hormonal pressures of someone your age?" "I like her, but I also want to do things with her. Things like I did with Bea." "Is she similarly disposed towards you?" "I'm not sure. I think she would be more likely to if she knew that no one could come in and catch us. We might not do anything, like before, but, I want to be ready, just in case." "Ready. By ready, do you mean that you've thought about protection from disease, and unwanted pregnancy. This is something that the man should treat as his concern too, not just leave it up to his partner." "I can get rubbers from Hans, but I don't think we'll get that far, not right away." "Kenny, with young people, there is always the possibility of things getting quickly out of hand. Remember that, if you remember little else. It is better to be prepared for any eventuality. Gentlemen always think of their partners happiness and welfare first." I talked to Emily on Thursday, telling her that everything was arranged for Friday. I told her to expect us to pick her up around five thirty. She said she was looking forward to it, and would be ready when I came to get her. Friday, when I rang her door bell, she opened her door right away. She gave me a big smile and told me she was ready, but I was looking behind her at Brenda, who was standing not five feet away. Emily saw the look of surprise on my face and turned around to see what I was looking at. "Brenda, you promised! Kenny, she's here to watch Gary until my parents get back. You weren't supposed to even know she was here." "Let's go then, I've got some stuff I want to get done before dinner." In the car, Emily looked nervous, waiting to find out what I was going to say to her about Brenda. I didn't say anything. I knew that she was Brenda's friend too, and as long as she didn't try to get the two of us together, or talk about her, I had no problem with Brenda being at her house. I was trying to think of some way to explain the difference to her, but I didn't want to bring up Brenda's name. "I expect you to have your own friends, Emily, just like I have mine. As long as you don't try to go against what we've already talked about. Tonight, I just want to spend time with you and talk about our things." She had been sitting on the other seat, just looking at me, but when I told her what I wanted to say, she relaxed and hopped over on my seat with me. Of course, Hans was already pulling the limo up into our driveway, by the time she did that. We got out and I took her into the house with me. I found my mother waiting in the living room for us, and, after kissing her, and getting a big hug in return, I introduced her to Emily. After the introductions were made, I excused myself, heading up to my room to change out of my school uniform. As soon as I was dressed for dinner, I came back down the stairs, but Mama and Emily were no longer in the living room. I checked for them in the library, but they weren't in there either. That's when I heard laughter coming from the kitchen. I found them in there with Gerta and Hans. All four of them were speaking in German. I was starting to think I was the only person in the world who only spoke English. I'd never heard Mama speaking German before, but, she was speaking it when I walked through the kitchen door. I went over and gave Gerta a kiss, just like the one I'd given Mama in the living room. Hans was the only one sitting down, and I noticed he was drinking a glass of beer. I knew that Hans was troubled with a bad back, and that it bothered him when he had to stand up and not move around. If he was moving around, doing something, it didn't bother him nearly as much. We stayed in the kitchen for only a few more minutes before Gerta shooed us all out of there so that she could finish preparing dinner. My mother said she needed to go upstairs to make herself presentable for dinner, excusing herself to Emily. "Kenny, why not use this time to give Emily a tour of the house? Dinner won't be ready for more than an hour yet." I waited for Mama to climb the stairs and go into her room before I started showing Emily the library and the dining room. I made quick work of pointing out the living room and kitchen, which she'd already seen, before pointing out dad's study on my way to the staircase. I showed her Uncle Bunny's room with the great balcony, and the living room and small office he had up there. I told her that I was planning on taking over the room as soon as I got married. She laughed, but I was serious. That was really a terrific room, almost as big as the suite that Mama and my father shared. There was only one bedroom, and one closet and bathroom, but they were easily as nice as the other room had. It was the balcony that really made this room very appealing to me. I didn't want to ask Uncle Bunny if I could have it, because it was his room now, but I did plan on getting it for myself someday. I spent a lot of time showing her the room, because I was starting to wonder if I should take her into my bedroom or not. I was going to ask her up to watch television after dinner, but I didn't want to seem too anxious, by taking her there too soon. Emily solved that problem. "Can we see your room now? I've been dying to see it since even before I ever met you." "It's just a room Emily. It isn't as nice as this one." "I know that, but it's your bedroom, Kenny. We can go take a look at it, can't we?" I took her out of Uncle Bunny's room and took her over to mine. As soon as we were inside, Emily went and took a look at my dead bolt lock, and then she went over to my closet. She opened the door, turned on the light, and walked inside. I followed behind her, but stood framed in the doorway, watching as she looked over my wardrobe piece by piece. She opened all of my dresser drawers and looked at all of my other shirts, shorts, sweaters and socks that were folded neatly inside. Several times she commented on one piece of clothing or another that she liked, before coming back out of my closet and walking into my bathroom. She really liked how big my shower was, and seemed disappointed when I told her I'd never taken a bath in my raised and very deep bathtub. She opened up the medicine cabinets and looked at the things inside there, mostly my shaving stuff, and some colognes and shaving lotions I never used. She opened the bottles and smelled each of them. She held up one bottle afterwards, and told me she liked that one the best. She bent down and opened up the cabinets under the sink. I'd never opened those since I'd lived there. Mostly, it was cleaning supplies and spare tissues and toilet paper that were stored under there. I saw a toilet bowl plunger too, and it was good to know where one was, in case I ever needed one in a hurry. After her inspection of my bathroom was finished, she went back into my room and walked over to the bed, sitting on it and bouncing up and down a few times. I stood back and just watched her. "Is this where you did it with that woman who worked for your mother?" "That's one of the places where we did it. We did it in the shower, in the closet, over there on that desk too. Oh, and in both of those chairs. I wish you could have been there to see it. It was a lot better to watch than just to talk about." "You think you're being funny, I know, but I wish I'd seen it too. You don't know how lucky you are, Kenny. Do you think my parents would let me bring you over to look at my bedroom like this?" "Maybe if they were asleep, like when Paolo snuck into your bedroom that time?" I watched Emily blush deep pink when I said that to her. I started to realize that I probably shouldn't have brought that up right then with her. She was trying hard to not do what I asked her not to do, and then I went and said something to her, something that might make her angry or embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Emily, I shouldn't have said that to you." "Why not? I don't mind. That was one of the best nights of my life. I'm glad you reminded me about it. I still wish I had some pictures of him. He was very handsome, and he knew just what to say to make me want to do anything he asked. If he were here with us right now, you could watch us, and learn something about how to make love to a woman." I figured that I deserved that, for my earlier stupid remark, so I tried to smile, and let it pass without further comment. I really wanted to act like a gentleman, but I was betting that the comment I'd made about Paolo was exactly what my mother meant when she said for me to not be boorish. "Shall we go back downstairs and wait for dinner?" "Show me how this lock works first." She had bounded up off the bed and went over to my door and threw the bolt, locking the two of us in the room. I looked at my watch, and it was only five minutes after six. Emily had her back pressed tightly against the door, and she was already breathing fast. Her eyes danced around, darting from me to the bed, and then over to the bathroom. "How much time do we have before dinner, Kenny?" "Less than an hour, but they'll start to miss us if we stay up here too long." "I'm ready right now for what you did to Brenda in the limo. I don't want us to talk anymore, Kenny. I've been thinking about this since Wednesday. Before that actually, but really a lot since Wednesday. Will you do that to me?" "Are you sure? I'd like to, but not if you don't really want to." "Do you want me up on the bed? I never did this before, so you have to show me the best way to do it." Her voice sounded so nervous, and I could see that she was starting to shake. I'd seen tense people before, but Emily was as tense as I'd ever seen. I was afraid to even touch her right then, because I was afraid she'd start screaming. Talk about zero to sixty in five seconds. We had gone from zero to five hundred in one second. I was standing between her and the bed. I moved out of the way, giving her a clear path to it. "Should I take off my panties first, or do you want to do that?" "Take them off and then get up on the bed. Lie down in the middle, and just relax. This isn't anything that is going to hurt you." She was wearing a dress, and the bottom was full so that she wore a slip beneath it. When we walked up the stairs earlier, I'd seen her slip from behind her. I saw her move away from the door and go sit on the bed, then she got up again, asking me to take her panties off. I walked over to her and tried to kiss her first, hoping to calm her down, but it didn't have a calming effect like I'd hoped. "Take them off, I want to do this. Don't kiss me yet though." I got down on one knee, then reached up with both hands, under her dress, but then I had to slide her slip up to her hips so that I could even reach her panties. When I had a thumb hooked into each side of her panties, I asked her if she was sure. She had her eyes closed, but I saw her nod that she was sure. As gently as I could manage, I slid her panties down until they fell at her ankles. She lifted each leg up, and I took them off of her feet. When I was done, I stood up and she sat back on the bed and lifted herself backwards until she was centered in the middle of it. She lifted up her dress and then scooted her hips around while she pulled her slip up over her hips too. She had a lot of dark hair on her pussy, all of it very curly, like the hair on her head, only more so. When she opened her legs, I could see her red and swollen pussy lips. Both her thighs were covered with thousands of tiny goose bumps. I looked at her face, but her eyes were still closed tightly. I came over between her legs and rested on my elbows, between her thighs. At first, I just blew on her upper thighs, hoping that the warm air from my breath would calm her, and allow her to relax more. She shivered several times, but it wasn't having a calming effect. I started kissing her thighs then. Small kisses, very soft, all over on both sides. She moaned a few times, but when I looked up at her face, her eyes were still closed, and her face looked like she was under a lot of strain. I decided to lick her pussy a few times, just to see if she would start to calm down once she knew I had already started for real. After about twenty licks, she grabbed my head and went into orgasm, holding my face out away from between her legs. "No more! Stop it!" She was writhing beneath me, on the bed, holding my head by the hair, and pushing me away from her. If she would have let me go, I'd have gotten a lot further away from her. She really was pulling my hair hard. After about a minute, I managed to get her to let go of my hair. I went into the bathroom, to wash my face with soap and warm water, and to brush my teeth. From the time I started, until the time she finally let my hair go, it couldn't have been more than a minute and a half. She must have been working herself up long before we ever got started. When I came back out of my bathroom, Emily was sitting on the edge of the bed and her panties were no longer on the floor. She waited for me to come all the way out before she went into my bathroom herself, and shut the door. I walked over and undid the dead bolt, before going over to sit on my bed myself. That had to have been the strangest thing I'd ever done with any girl. I was used to taking a long time licking girls, well, Bea and Brenda, but I had assumed that all girls would like for me to do it until they were satisfied. Emily had had a cum, but I didn't think it was because of what I'd done. It was too quick for it to be from that. She finally came out of my bathroom, after about ten minutes. "Are you ready to go back downstairs now, Emily?" "Yes. Are you mad at me?" "No, why should I be mad?" "Well, for what I did, and the way I stopped you so fast." "It surprised me, but I didn't get mad. Why did you need to stop?" "Something happened to me. I was afraid I was going to have an accident." "When you were cumming?" "Oh. That was an orgasm?" "I guess, but maybe not, if you have to ask. I just thought that was why you were doing that. It was pretty quick to have one. I mean, the other two didn't have one that quick, but the way you acted, I thought that's what was happening to you too." "I thought orgasms would be better than that. I was afraid it was something else, that's why I made you stop. I thought I was going to pee." "Well, anyway, you got the idea. I think you might like it better if we tried it again. I didn't get a chance to do all the things that Bea taught me to do. There is a lot more stuff that she liked better than just licking the outside of it." "We didn't do all of cunnilingus?" "No, I was just getting you relaxed, so we could get started. I didn't even get a chance to open you up and stick my tongue in your pussy. Plus, I didn't come close to your clitty yet. Bea liked clitty licking the best, and so did Brenda. Are you going to tell her that we did this?" "Brenda?" "Yes." "She would know anyway. Besides, I already told her I was going to let you." "When you tell her what we did, she's going to tell you that you missed the best parts." "Aren't we coming back here after dinner? I thought we were. I expect you to show me the rest of it. Now that I know what to expect, I'll be more ready the next time. Can I ask you a personal question?" "I guess." "Do you really like doing that? I mean, it's actually a pretty nasty thing to do." "No, I really like doing it. It doesn't seem nasty to me. I only tasted you a little, but it was good, the little bit I did taste. I was wanting to taste you a lot more." "Brenda didn't tell me how fast it would make me hot, otherwise I wouldn't have been so surprised when you touched me there." "I bet nobody has ever touched you there but you. I guess it takes getting used to." "That isn't true. You don't believe me about Paolo, but we did it just like I told Brenda." "I'll find out the truth anyway later. I can't believe what you say when I see how you act." "I want to see your penis now. I want to compare it to Paolo's." I decided to go along with her and took my dick out of my pants. Strangely, I was about half soft after the conversation we'd been having. "That's not very big, Kenny. It felt a lot bigger at the dance." Just then, my phone rang, and it was Gerta telling me that dinner was being served in fifteen minutes and my mother wanted us to join her in the library. I had already put my dick away before I answered the phone. "Time to go down to talk with my mother in the library. We do that before dinner." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 37 In the library, Mama was having a highball before dinner, when Emily and I walked through the open doorway. We joined her, with Hans fixing each of us a lime tonic. It looked like a real drink, but it had no alcohol in it. "Emily, I knew your father in high school. My brother and I were in the class right in front of his. Tell him that Bertie Chalmers says hello, won't you? He wouldn't know me as a Parsons." "He does remember you, because I heard him talking about that with my mom. He was mostly talking about something that he and your brother did together when they were younger. I think it was a tunnel they all built? I remember him saying there was an accident." "I remember that. It was Roy Crocker that was trapped in that collapsed tunnel. The boys had dug and dug for most of the summer, and there must have been fifteen boys who played in it everyday. Roy almost suffocated, I remember that now. He was always so unlucky, Roy was. He died before he was thirty, when his truck flipped over, trying to take a curve in the road too fast. Bunny was a pall bearer at his funeral. Roy had a wife and a little boy, such a tragedy. Good family the Crockers. Roy was an only child too." "My father says that your family were part of the original settlers in this valley. He also said that he had been hoping to buy your house when he moved back to Ridgeline. He said it was the nicest house for miles around." "Bunny, that's my brother, told me that someone had made inquiries about the house, that was four or five years ago. Funny that I never connected that with your father. Where did you end up living?" "Just down the road in the gray house, with the big front porch. Daddy bought it from the bank." "The Gainey house. I played with Sarah Gainey when we both were children. She married Roy Crocker, the boy in the collapsed tunnel. I know she passed away too, because Bunny was her attorney. Bunny handles all the legal business for the better families in the area." "My father has his lawyers in New York, because that's where his books are published." "I'm sure he does. I imagine his legal counsel are specialists in their field. Is your mother a New Yorker?" "Oh, no, she was raised near here on a farm. Linda Devereaux? My grandparents still own the farm, but they've moved up to Topeka, to live close to my Uncle Bob and Aunt Kate. Did you know anyone from my mom's side of the family?" "I don't recall a Linda Devereaux. What year was she in school?" "I'm not sure, but she's five years younger than my father. Uncle Bob is older though, maybe you knew him?" "No, I'm afraid I'm drawing a blank on the name. I wasn't very social when I was younger, I'm sorry. Bunny knew everyone though, I'll ask him if he remembers the Devereaux's." We had a great dinner. Gerta had made lasagna, Baked ziti, veal parmigiana, spaghetti with meatballs, and a big salad that she called antipasto salad. I had some of everything, but I ate more of the spaghetti than any of the rest. Emily liked the baked ziti the best, but she also said the veal was very good. At dinner, we talked about school, mine and Emily's. Emily mentioned that she was good friends with Brenda Connor, which led to Mama talking about Mr. and Mrs. Connor being family friends. "Kenny and Brenda were close in the summer, but I guess their friendship failed to fully develop. I've always liked Brenda, such a striking look, and so very determined. Do you know Richard as well?" "I know him, but we don't get along. He's mean to Gary, that's my brother." "I'm afraid that doesn't surprise me. Richard doesn't impress me overmuch either. I understand he's a promising athlete though, and that alone is sufficient for some girls to admire him." "Well, not me. He thinks he's so attractive, but I don't have any idea what he bases that on." After dinner, Mama excused herself, reminding me that we had a ten thirty tee time. I knew my father wasn't going to be home much before one or two o'clock in the morning. Maybe Mama wanted to turn in early so that she could get some rest before he got home. After she left and went upstairs, I helped Gerta clear the table. She tried to tell me to let her do it, but I knew that Hans wasn't doing that well with his back, and she had already worked hard getting such a nice meal ready for us. Emily helped too, and we managed to get everything into the kitchen, so that Gerta wouldn't have to make a lot of trips out to the dining room to get stuff. Gerta wanted to know if we were ready for some ice cream for dessert, but I told her we were fine and would come down later for something if we got hungry. Emily started blushing when I told Gerta that. "Kenny, when you're ready for Hans to drive you and your friend over to her house, just lift up your phone and dial three, and then hold the button down for three or four seconds. Hans is trying to give his back some rest, but he'll be fine to drive you when you need him. Good night." I went over and gave her a hug and thanked her for making such a great meal for us. Emily and I went back up to my room, and I turned my television on. I deliberately didn't bolt my door. I didn't want her to think that I was taking it for granted that we'd be doing anything else. I pulled my desk chair over and sat on it, leaving the good, padded chair for Emily to sit in. We were watching some show that had a laugh track, and it was kind of distracting to hear so many people laughing at things that weren't that funny. "How come you didn't lock your door, Kenny?" "I figured we didn't need to if we're going to watch television. Did you want to do something else?" "I thought you did. Didn't you say there was a lot more that you hadn't done to me? I thought you said that, and that you were going to show me after dinner." "I did say that, and I'd like to show you, but I wasn't sure if you still wanted me to or not." "Well, I do. I want you to show me everything that girl who lived here taught you about cunnilingus. I like the way that name sounds, don't you? Almost all the medical words sound better than the slang ones do. When I leave here later, I want to be sure you've taught me all about it." I got up and locked the door, and then, after Emily had fixed her dress and slip and taken off her panties, I turned off all the lights, except for the one from the television. I had turned up the sound on it too, just in case we got a little loud. This time, instead of doing what Emily said she wanted, I started in kissing her just the way Bea had shown me to start with. At first, it was only on her lips, then I went down and licked and kissed on her neck. While I was doing that, I had my hand on her thighs, running my fingers softly back and forth. I made sure not to touch too near her pussy. Emily had a very sensitive neck, and wherever I kissed her, she would make little noises as if she were trying to clear her throat. They weren't moans, but were sounds like 'oohs, ahhs, and umms', but from her throat more than her lips. When I went back to kissing her lips, her tongue was doing as much probing as mine was. By the time I moved down between her legs, Emily was more receptive and cooperative. She was ready to see what all of the fuss was about. I was ready myself, because by delaying things for her, I was delaying them for me too. This time, she wasn't in any hurry to push me away like she had been before. Her clitty was pretty big, bigger than Brenda's, but not as big as Bea's. It was also sensitive, more even than her neck had been. Brenda hadn't cared that much for me biting on the skin underneath the hair above her pussy, but Bea had liked it a lot, and made me do that to her for a long time, every time I licked her pussy. Emily didn't seem to like it as much as Bea did, when I first did it, but after I had licked around her hole and her clitty and went back up there, she told me to do it harder. She also liked it when I chewed on her pussy lips. That was something I always enjoyed doing to Bea too. Brenda had liked the straight up and down licking, especially when I got anywhere near her clitty, but Emily was more like Bea, she liked being licked, chewed, and bitten all around down there. When I went back down and started chewing and biting on her thighs, she nearly went wild. When I stopped, she yelled out, "Don't stop! Keep doing it just like that." One of the reasons that I liked about Bea and Emily liking me to do more things, was I didn't get as tired from doing the same thing, without any rest. This time, when Emily had an orgasm, there was no doubt in either of our minds. I'm pretty sure the whole house knew it, because she was screaming my name, and saying lots of other things. "Good, oh yes, oh no, yes, Kenny, Kenny, oh God, yes, yes, yes. So good." She was also all strained up and crying while she said this. If I hadn't done this before, I would have thought I had hurt her, and she was in pain. She also was punching me with her fists on my shoulders and arms, beating out a rhythm to accompany her words. I think I would have stopped if I hadn't been thinking about the fact that Emily and Brenda would soon be discussing and critiquing what we had been doing. I was a little concerned about her comments about my dick, and the times she had compared me to the mythical Paolo. Somewhere, there was a part of me that wanted to get back at Brenda too. I wanted her to know that she wasn't the only one who could make someone feel bad. I didn't like being like that, but I was. I wasn't going to write her any letters, but I was sure she'd get my message. Whatever my reasons, Emily didn't seem to mind, not at all. By the time I was finished doing things to her pussy, she was begging me to give her a few minutes to rest. She said her stomach muscles hurt bad from clenching and unclenching them so much. When I rolled over next to her, she kissed me on my face and neck a hundred times or more. I knew I had her juices all over my face, but she didn't seem to care about that anymore either. What surprised me was the way she started talking about what we'd done. You would have thought that she'd have known that I already had a pretty good idea of what I'd done to her, and it's effects. She told me quite a few things though, letting me know how her body built up sensitivity, and telling me how to best use that information for the next time we were together. Then, she surprised me. "I want to do you, too, Kenny." It took only a few seconds for me to open my pants and pull them down past my knees. My underwear came down at the same time. My dick was a lot bigger than it had been when I showed it to her before dinner. I was as hard and as sensitive as I ever remember it being. I knew it never got like that the times I had used only my hand on it. It didn't get like that for Bea. I wasn't sure about Brenda, but she'd never offered me a blow job either. I waited, but Emily just was sitting up, looking at my dick. She wasn't reaching out her hand, or bending down to put it into her mouth. Finally, after more than a minute of her not doing anything, I said something to her. "What?" "It got bigger. I don't want to choke on it. Make it get little again, like before." "It isn't going to get little until you do something. That's the whole idea." She put her hand out and touched my dick tentatively. I guess she thought it would explode or something. After a few seconds, she started rubbing it up and down, but too tightly. If she kept that up, I'd be rubbed raw in no time. "That hurts when you do it that way. Suck it." "No! I'll do it this way. You can make it go off like this can't you?" "I guess, if I do it myself. I'll do it later, after I take you home." "I want to see it. Make it go off, okay?" "This was supposed to turn out different, Emily. I would do you, then you would do me, or else, you'd let me have sex with you." "We didn't say that. I said I wanted to do you, but not when it's big like it is now. I thought you were going to make it small like before. I'm not going to let you make love to me either." "Why not?" "I promised I wouldn't." "Who'd you promise, Paolo?" "Brenda. She said you promised to do her next." "She said we did it, because of that time in the limo. She's the one that wanted to count it, not me. Besides, I said that when she was my girlfriend." "I promised her." "Well, somebody's going to do it with me, either a blow job or sex, or else I'm not doing that to you ever again." "Brenda wants to." "Brenda's not here, you are. You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but I'm not doing you anymore, not if you don't do me." "I'll do it next time. Before you do me." I looked at her. I could tell she was lying about doing me. I did her until my mouth got lockjaw, and she didn't even want to take two minutes to help me with mine. I guess it was my fault. Bea had told me that people were willing to do a lot more before they got theirs. She told me she always got paid up front. Now, I knew what she meant. "Don't worry about it. I'll get someone else to do that for me. I thought you wanted to." I hoped she could tell that I was trying to get her to say she would, to change her mind, and do it for me. It wouldn't take long, or much effort, for her to make me squirt. I could have done it myself in about a minute. "Will you still do that to me again, some other time?" "No. I already showed you all about it. That was everything I know. Now that I know that you don't want to help me, I don't want to help you either. That was something that Bea told me that I forgot. Selfish people don't deserve something so good." "Look, it went down all by itself. I'll do it now if you want." I looked down, and she was right. My dick had gone soft. This was when I had a breakthrough with my not giving in problem. Before, when something bad happened, I'd get stubborn, and not change anything for anybody. This time, I decided not to be stubborn. I just nodded my head, and, in less than two or three seconds, Emily had bent down and taken my dick in her mouth. She took it right back out and made a face, like she had tasted something she didn't like. When she saw how I reacted though, she put it right back in her mouth and started sucking. Bea was a lot better at doing that, but Bea wasn't there. I started leaning back and rubbing on Emily's thighs, and when my dick started growing, I started kissing her thighs, and rubbing my fingers around near her pussy. I wasn't going to take any chances on her stopping after she had gotten that far. It wasn't long before we were both doing each other. The only bad part happened when I started cumming. She immediately took her mouth off of me, and started sputtering, coughing, choking, and then spitting out whatever little bit I'd already squirted in her mouth. At the same time, my dick was still cumming, but when she did that, it wasn't very good for me, because of the way she was treating everything. I quit licking her too, and she hadn't gotten that far along yet. She looked at me, like she was going to tell me to finish doing her, but she didn't say it. She got up instead, and ran into my bathroom. I saw her standing over my toilet bowl spitting into it and then using my sink to rinse out her mouth. You would have thought I'd fed her poison. Bea never did that. She said my cum tasted sweet. Emily was in the bathroom for ten minutes. I went and turned my room light back on, and then used facial tissues to clean up some of the mess we'd made on my bedspread. After she came out, I went in and flushed the dirty tissues down and washed my face and hands off. I wet my hair down too, and then combed it. When I came back out, she was pulling up her panties. "That's the last time I'm doing that for you, Kenny. I didn't like it at all. You should taste yourself, it's nasty." "I've tasted it before. It doesn't taste that bad. Bea liked the way it tasted. She was always wanting me to let her do that for me." "She can have it then, because I sure don't want any of it." "She doesn't live near here now. She's in California." "I don't care. I'm not going to do that anymore." "Then you'll have to let me have sex with you." "I already told you, I promised Brenda." "All right. I don't want you to get upset. We don't have to do anything. It was as much what you wanted, as what I did. Did you have a good time with everything else?" "So that's it then? You aren't even going to try to get me to change my mind about promising Brenda. You must not like me very much." "I do like you, but you already told me no several times. I don't like it when people try to make me change my mind, that's why I wasn't trying to get you to." "She's supposed to be my best friend, Kenny. I can't just say yes the first time you ask me. You have to do something to wear me down so that I have an excuse to do that with you." "Emily, have you ever been screwed before? Really, don't lie." "Of course not. You can't tell Brenda that though. She believes what I told her about Paolo. When you were licking me after dinner, I almost asked you to do it to me then. Five or six times I almost told you to do it, but I was afraid to say it." "I have three rubbers that Hans got for me. We could do it whenever you want to." "You'll have to wait for another time, until you get me hot again, and then just do it. I'll tell Brenda I didn't know what was happening until it was already in me. It's going to hurt a lot, isn't it?" "I don't know. They say it hurts a girl the first time, but I don't know if that's true or not." "What about Brenda? Did it hurt her?" "I don't know. I wasn't there for her first time. You need to ask her that, or Darryl Kingsley." "Why do you say that? She doesn't go out with Darryl. Oh, you mean because of that letter she wrote you. That wasn't true, what she wrote. That never happened. She was at my house when we wrote that. She wanted to make you jealous." I looked at her, trying to figure out if she was lying to me or not. I wouldn't put it past Brenda to try to get her to lie to me. She looked like she was telling the truth, and I felt a sense of strong relief wash across me, just from the hope that it was true. "Well, you can tell her it didn't work. I don't care what she does anymore." "Kenny, that's not true. You like her as much as she likes you. I wish that wasn't true, but it is. I still want to do it with you though, even if you do like her better than me. If it's better than what we did tonight, except for what you did in my mouth, I don't want to wait any longer." "I can do it again right now if you want to, Emily. I'm ready, I mean. But only if you're ready too. I'd do it right now if you wanted me to?" "I better go home, Kenny. Can we walk home, instead of driving? I want to walk for awhile and think about some things. I don't want to walk by myself at night though." I got up with her and we walked downstairs together. I got her coat and my jacket, and we both went out the front door. I held her hand as we walked. It was dark out, but you could make out the driveway just fine. When we got down to the road, it was a little harder, but it was only a short walk. When we got there, I waited at the bottom of the driveway. Emily said Brownie was in the house, but I didn't want to risk her being wrong. We kissed only a little bit before she ran up the driveway. I waited until I saw the light from her front door opening, and saw her go inside. All in all it had been an interesting date. If Emily was telling me the truth about that letter, I wondered if it would change the way I felt about Brenda. It had hurt me a lot when I read it, and according to Emily, Brenda had written it to make me jealous. She wanted me to feel bad, that's why she did it. I would have been more indignant, if I hadn't used Emily to send a similar message to Brenda. I walked home slowly, savoring the cold air on my face. I wished that things were simpler, but I was also glad I was able to have so many interesting complications too. Things had been simple at St. Cecelia's, but not good. Here, my life was better than I had ever dared dream, but there were a whole bunch of complications. Some of my making, and others that were caused by other people. On balance, I would rather have the complications. I'd had more good things happen to me here already, than I did in all my years in the orphanage. When I thought about it, it hadn't really been that uncomplicated living in the orphanage. The difference was, I wasn't shutting off all my feelings like I had done there. I felt more, and that's what was causing complications. By the time I got home, I was feeling a lot better. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 38 We all teed off the next day from the white tees, even Mama. I was sure the extra yardage would have a big effect on her scoring, but it didn't seem to have any effect at all. She finished up at one over, beating Uncle Bunny, dad and I. I only won one hundred from dad and two hundred from Uncle Bunny. It hurt having to pay it all to Mama. I had shot an eighty seven, but it was a forty on the front and a forty seven on the back. The back nine score had caused me to tie my bet with Uncle Bunny for the back, and lose it to dad and Mama. Luckily, I won the front and the eighteen from dad and Uncle Bunny. Mama beat me on all three, even though I had birdies on the fifth and the seventh holes. We all ate at the club, but they spent the whole time discussing business. Dad had finally made an offer to buy back his division from Consolidated. the board had asked him a bunch of questions about how he was going to handle the financing, but dad told them it would be all cash to them, and that was all they needed to know. They were considering his offer, and he needed to be back in New York by Monday. Uncle Bunny kept asking whether dad thought they'd take the offer, but he kept saying he didn't know. Mama just listened, saying very little, until they started talking about the plans for the golf learning center. The biggest news there was that it was starting to sound like my dad's estimates on what everything would cost were lower than it was going to be. Based on everything that Mama and Uncle Bunny had learned to that point, it was going to cost twenty five million dollars before it was finished. They started discussing things they could do without, with dad and Uncle Bunny both saying that there wasn't any need to build thirty six holes right away. They could start with eighteen, and add to it if the idea proved a success. Mama said she's rather do it all at once, and said she'd put up the extra money for it herself. After she said that, there was a brief argument until Uncle Bunny solved everything by offering to put up ten million himself for a third interest. Before, Mama hadn't wanted Uncle Bunny as a partner in the learning center, but now, she just looked at dad to see what he would say. "That would solve a lot of problems, Bertie, because we're going to need operating money even after it gets built. No telling when it will start operating in the black." Dad was letting mom know that he didn't care if Uncle Bunny came in as a partner. "Bunny, the idea of you owning an interest in a golf learning center, with your game, it just doesn't seem right somehow. I know no one who is more anti practice and anti lesson than you are. Look at the way you play. This is why we didn't invite you in with us in the beginning." "Bertie, that's ridiculous. Do you think Lamar Hunt knows how to punt, or throw a spiral pass? I don't need to be a player to be an investor." "Lamar played football at SMU, Bunny, but I agree with you. What difference does it make if he can play golf well or not?" Dad was looking at Mama when he asked his question. She didn't answer dad, looking over at Uncle Bunny instead. "I'm not going to take any lessons Bertie, so you can just forget it. I play strictly for the enjoyment of the game. I'm not like you, needing always to compete at it. If that's what your driving at, I'll withdraw my offer to join in with you." "Very well. I can see I'm outvoted on this. We accept your offer, Bunny. It does make it easier this way. I do hope you'll overcome your aversion to taking lessons. We're going to have some very fine instructors, and you could learn to play a decent game, if only you were willing to spend just a little effort. Look at Kenny, he's just beginning, and already he's beating you, even giving you five strokes a side. Doesn't that bother you?" "Not in the least, and why should it? We can't all be Jack Nicklaus or Arnold Palmer. I play for the relaxation, Bertie, to have fun and to be sociable. My ego isn't involved with playing golf. If I put greater effort into playing well, I'd still be mediocre, just a little less so. No, I'll continue playing my way, thank you anyway." We were sitting in the back, and my chair was facing back towards the bar, and the entrance. I watched as the Connor family walked into the dining room. The first one in was Richard, but Brenda was next. She noticed all of us sitting at our table right away. Instead of picking someplace away from us, she started walking right over where we were. She took the chair at the next table over. It was the one that would leave her sitting closest to me. My father and Uncle Bunny stood up to greet the Connors, so I had to stand up too. For the next five minutes, everyone was talking together. Everyone but Brenda, Richard and me. I had sat back down after politely saying hello to Mr. and Mrs. Connor. I had nodded my head in greeting to Richard and Brenda, but didn't speak to them. "Kenny, how long are you going to stay mad at me?" As soon as Brenda spoke, all of the adults quit talking. She had really put me on the spot, saying that in front of everyone. I was getting flustered, and didn't really know what to reply to her. If we had been alone, it would have been different. I felt like everyone in the restaurant was looking at me and listening to hear what I was going to answer. I had been thinking that I might be able to pretend that I didn't hear her, but not now, not if everyone else heard her ask me that. "As long as you go around doing things that get me into trouble, or writing things just to make me feel bad." I wanted to say something to her, to stop her from going forward with this in front of all of our families. I was counting on her unwillingness to speak openly in front of everyone else. "Emily already explained to you about that letter. I was trying to make you jealous. I love you." I looked over at her mother and father, silently trying to get Brenda to think about her audience before saying anything else to make things worse. "I don't care who hears me, Kenny. I just want things to go back like they were before." "That's enough of that young lady. You're embarrassing yourself, and all of us, with this ridiculous display. Knock it off, and I mean it." Mr. Connor had taken about as much of this as he could stand. For once, he and I were on the same side. Of course, Richard was enjoying what was happening. He had a smug grin on his face, and was just waiting to see more of a show from us. "Brenda, maybe this isn't the place to have this discussion. Your father is right about that. Perhaps another time, dear." Mrs. Connor came over and tried to put her arm protectively around Brenda. As much as anything, she was trying to shield her from Mr. Connor's anger. I wasn't going to say anything more. Then, Richard had to open his stupid mouth and call Brenda a slut. What kind of thing is that for a brother to call his sister? Right in front of his parents and all of us too. I never liked him, not at all, but that was even more than my self control could take. Not just for Brenda, but for everyone else who could hear what he'd said to her. "Richard, you are such a stupid dick. I'd call you an asshole, but that would be slandering other assholes." I had heard Nigel say that a few times, and thought it applied here pretty well. I stood up when I said that to him, realizing, as soon as I said it, that Richard had been trying to get me to say something like that to him, so he'd have an excuse to get back at me for that time at the pool, when I'd pushed him down after punching him in the face. He jumped up too, and was coming after me, but Uncle Bunny moved in front of him quickly and told him to sit back down. Uncle Bunny was fat, but he was also big. He had to outweigh Richard by at least sixty pounds, plus he was an adult. Richard sat back down, but he yelled something at me as he did so. I think he said I was a pussy, and that I hid behind other people. "Bunny, you should let them go at it if they want to. Kenny would probably be able to take care of himself. He shouldn't say things like that if he isn't willing to back them up afterwards." Mr. Connor actually wanted Richard and I to fight, right there in the restaurant. That seemed very weird to me. I'd never met an adult who encouraged kids to fight before. It didn't matter what he wanted, because all of the rest of us, except Richard were against it. "We were just leaving, Walt. Instead of trying to get these boys to fight, you should find out why Richard thinks it's okay for him to address Brenda that way. If he were my son, I'd have knocked him right on his ass for calling her that. Bertie, are you ready?" My dad had come around from where he was sitting until he was standing by Mama's side, and between her and Mr. Connor. "Don't lecture me on how to be a parent, Tom. I'll do what I think needs doing. I don't need any advice from you." Mr. Connor had turned his full attention on dad by then. I think that was exactly what my dad wanted. "Walt, you're absolutely right, and I apologize if I stepped out of line. I see that you've got everything, and everyone, under control now, so we'll be leaving you to enjoy your meal. Georgia, good to see you again. Kenny, Bunny, we should be leaving now." The waiter came over during all of this, with the bill for our lunch in his hand. He was standing closest to me, wondering who to give the check to, so I took it, and signed my new name, adding a twenty per cent tip to it, before I signed. I think it surprised him when I did that, but he smiled, and moved quickly away from us. Mama went over and kissed Mrs. Connor on her cheek and whispered something in her ear. Then she bent down and hugged Brenda the same way she usually hugged me. I saw her whispering something to Brenda too, and Brenda looked over at me while she listened, and then nodded her head up and down, and smiled at Mama. We all left after that, with Uncle Bunny and I riding back to the house in his car, and Mama and dad in dad's rental car. "That was interesting, Kenny. I've never had a girl or a woman make such a public fuss over me. Now that I've seen it up close, I'm glad of that. What was your immediate reaction, when she first started talking to you?" "It started when I saw them coming in. My first thought was that I hoped they wouldn't come sit by us. Then, when they did, I hoped Brenda wasn't going to try to talk to me. After that, it didn't matter that much. I decided not to say anything to her. I didn't mean to say what I did to her, it just slipped right out of my mouth." "Women have that power over us, Kenny. We risk great peril whenever we fail to meet their expectations, or to satisfy their needs. As to the latter, it has been my experience that no amount of trying can ever satisfy all of their needs. I have a theory that women are the ones who cause men to fight so much amongst themselves. There is something both primitive and satisfying in striking someone, or even in being struck, that only manifests itself after spending too much time listening to a woman complain. Of course, we must try to resist doing that, because it would be falling right into their hands." "I really don't like Richard." "No. I don't like him either. He's similar to how Walt was at that age. Walt improved considerably later, as will Richard. Right now, he thinks he's found a lifetime free pass for himself. Later, when he realizes that his talents aren't quite what he believes them to be, he'll regret his mistakes." "What do you think Mama was whispering to Mrs. Connor and Brenda?" "I'm sure it was an expression of solidarity with them both. How that will later unfold, I don't care to hazard a guess. My advice would be for you to be constantly on your guard. Machiavelli would have stood in awe of today's evolved woman. A determined woman can be more ruthless than anything nature has to offer. Give me a tornado anytime. There are ways to safeguard yourself against one of those." "Do you think Mama would take their side against mine?" "If it served her purposes, you bet. Bertie will go to any extremes. She sets no limits." "She fakes her depressions." "No, Kenny, you're wrong about that. She fakes some of her withdrawals, or at least exaggerates them, but not her depression. That is all too real. Don't fall into the trap that Tommy has. He still believes it's all just a matter of her demonstrating her willful nature. I'm not even sure how much Bertie is still in control of the situation when she is pretending. It is an escalation on her part, but how much is really voluntary?" "Why doesn't she just try to be as happy as she can be? Why put everyone through all that other stuff, especially if she can control some of it?" "It has become her power, the way she asserts herself. I believe it is similar to throwing a tantrum. It's dangerous though. There's a very real risk that one of these times she'll go beyond the boundary where any return is possible. Should that occur, she may never return. It would be a mistake for you to confront her about her exaggerated withdrawals, Kenny. It would force her to try to deny it, and to prove you wrong." "I didn't think of that. So, everybody just pretends to believe it, even Gerta?" "No. Gerta worries about her not eating, and about her injuring herself by these long episodes. It is bound to take a toll on her later. She really can't help herself at times, Kenny, and it shames her to be so exposed during those periods. Part of her withdrawal is to escape her embarrassment. She is a proud woman, too proud to bend, too proud to allow herself be seen as a helpless victim of her own mind's chemistry. By using them, these withdrawals, even to the small degree that she does, she asserts some semblance of control over it. It is like a pilot of a burning plane deciding on the area he wishes for the ultimate crash to occur." "She just uses her illness for her own purposes then? That makes her feel better?" "No, not better, but less a victim, and more in control." "What do you think I should do about Brenda?" "There, you're on your own. She is very much her mother's daughter, I'm afraid. I find it remarkable that a girl so young could summon the courage to create such a public scene. I would almost have to conclude that she is a formidable force to be reckoned with. Beware of women who push past boundaries easily, Kenny. They will make your life a constant trial." "Is Mrs. Connor a constant trial to you?" "Brenda reminds me of her, and that's all I plan to say to you on this subject. Did you notice how well I was chipping today? I've switched to a new wedge, more loft to it. If I could find a way to improve the rest of my game, I'd soon be challenging the rest of you, and winning back all my money." "Why do you bet us when you know you aren't going to win?" "Because it makes you all so happy, of course. Even Bertie. Who else do I have to spend my money on, if not my family?" "You could spend it on Mrs. Connor, and on Brenda. They both like money more than we do." "Don't kid yourself, Kenny. They show it more, but that doesn't mean they like it more than we do. You don't make the kind of money that we have by accident, or keep it intact either. Bertie and I are as venal and greedy as anyone else. Having too much to ever spend, we are constantly in search of more to add to what we already have. Money is freedom for us, and power over others. You can never have too much of either." "Will I get like that too?" "One can only hope. I proved accurate in my prediction about how Tommy would feel when he came into so much personal wealth. Look at where he invested half of it. He knows that golf learning center will never make a viable business. He might as well have given his money to some charity." "Didn't you just put in ten million too?" "That's different, Kenny. I can afford to indulge Bertie in this. She wouldn't have agreed to any plan for making the learning center less ambitious. This way, Tommy won't have his position diluted by Bertie increasing her ownership rights. They will remain equal partners. Really, it was the best possible investment I could make in their future together. Tommy needs to feel equal to her, and this will help in that." "It's really going to be a nice place to learn how to play better golf. You really should learn to play better." "I intend to take advantage, once it's fully operational. Did Bertie mention that four of her teaching professionals were women?" Uncle Bunny smiled at me, and I had to laugh too. It made me think of Bea though. I didn't want to bring her up to him though, because I knew he missed her too. We were already home by the time we had finished our conversation. I felt better after riding home with Uncle Bunny too. He had managed to distract me from my meeting with Brenda, and to let me know not to do anything about my awareness that Mama was exaggerating her withdrawals. It was hard for me to even think about someone putting up ten million dollars just to keep a balance between two other people. We walked into the house, and were not surprised to find Mama and dad in the library, having a drink, and arguing about the Connors. My father was saying that Walt was only reacting the same way most fathers would have, while my mother was blaming him for the way Richard acted, and for not being more sympathetic to Brenda's obvious emotional suffering. "Did you think about poor Georgia caught in the middle? She'll be the one to bear the brunt of that man's temper. Why she stands for that, I'll never understand. She should have sued for divorce fifteen years ago. She should have never married him in the first place." "Nothing we could do, then or now. You should keep them all away from Kenny though." Mama looked at my father and smiled at him. I knew he had said absolutely the most perfectly wrong thing to her when he said that. I looked over at Uncle Bunny, hoping that he'd jump in between them and break it up before they could get started. He was backing away, and heading over to the bar to mix himself a drink. I had noticed that Uncle Bunny tried to stay out of their way when they were fighting. "I've invited Brenda and Georgia to go with Kenny and I into the city for dinner and an art exhibit tomorrow, after you fly back to New York." "Do you mean Springfield?" "Of course. There's a new exhibit opening tomorrow night at Klasky's. Since you and Bunny will be unable to attend, I thought Georgia and I would go. We can bring the children, except for that horrid Richard, so they have an opportunity to patch up their differences on the long drive into the city." "Aren't you going to inquire of Kenny if this is something he wants to happen?" "Thomas, I think I know what's best for Kenny in this instance. It's obvious these two care for each other. They just need a little assistance in ironing out the rough edges they've encountered in their relationship." "Ask him Bertie. Let's find out whether you're right or not." "Very well. Kenny, would you like to go to the city tomorrow with Brenda, Mrs. Connor, and me? We'll get a nice dinner, and then go look at an art exhibit." I looked at my mother and father. Both were expecting me to answer, in a way that they would end up the one that had been right. The weird part was that I had expected to tell Mama no, that I didn't want to go with Brenda. "Bertie, you're both putting Kenny on the spot here. Don't make him answer that question. Kenny, as your attorney, I'm advising you not to answer that question. Tommy, I need to side with Bertie here. The situation with the Connors needs to be defused, and the best way is for the two children to talk through their differences. With Bertie and Georgia right there, Kenny will be able to keep the conversation on something other than an emotional plane." "I don't mind going. Uncle Bunny is right. I don't want to have to avoid her, at the club, and anywhere else I might happen to run into her, especially if Richard is going to be with her in some of those places." "Well, if you're sure. I was concerned that you were being Shanghaied into this meeting with her. You win, Bertie. Now, since we're all here, let's discuss the Consolidated offer again." I left the library, going over to the kitchen to see Gerta, to find out what she was making us for dinner. Hans was there with her, sitting at the kitchen table, polishing some of the silver serving pieces. I watched how he did it, and then he let me try to do it with one of the coffee creamers. The silver polish really worked well, and the tarnish disappeared. Gerta was fixing a roast duck, which was one of Uncle Bunny's favorites. I talked about the golf we'd played, and told them that I'd only managed to break even in the betting. I told them about Uncle Bunny deciding to invest in the golf learning center project with my parents. "He already helped us buy that land from Heinz and Hannah. We had to pay ninety thousand, all cash. Bunny says it will be a good deal for us very soon." "He'll probably make you an offer for the land, if Mama keeps adding things she wants to have at the learning center. Almost every week, she comes up with something new to add to it." We sat around the table, polishing the silver, Hans and I, while Gerta prepared the dinner. It was always comforting to talk to them, because they were more relaxed about things than any of the rest of us. The only time Gerta got upset, was when Mama wouldn't eat, or sometimes, when Hans drank too much. Hans never got upset. I think they were happier than any of the other people I knew. At the dinner table, all of us sat down at Mama's end of the room. Dad had decided to only stay in New York until Wednesday. If the board of directors didn't act on his offer by then, he was going to resign, and come back home. His reasoning was that his resignation would make the division a lot less valuable to any other possible buyers. Mama thought that was a good idea, but she wanted him to also withdraw their offer to buy at the same time he resigned. Uncle Bunny wasn't enthusiastic about either of those things. He wanted dad to stay on, and to try to keep everything together until the board decided what it wanted to do. "Tommy, you're the key to all of this. Without you, they have little reason to try to sell off the division. They'd be better served bringing in someone, and holding on until he righted the ship. If you resign, they wouldn't sell. If they try to sell to someone else, you can announce your plans to leave the company. That would help us. They'd know then, that they had to sell to us, or else to no one. Let them make a choice between ninety million, or owning a division that they can't sell." "Someone would buy it, Bunny, it's a profitable division." Dad was looking at Mama. I had a feeling that the two of them had discussed this a lot more than the three of them had. "Bunny, I think Thomas is correct. The whole premise of our offer was to try to take advantage of their overreacting at their decline in share value. They paid out over two hundred million for those three acquisitions. The only way they'd even consider our offer is if they were in a panic. Thomas resigning would push them right over the edge. They aren't coming to any decisions because they're all afraid of making a misstep that will further erode the Consolidated market valuation. If Thomas withdraws our purchase offer at the time he resigns, they'll focus on the possibility of looking imprudent with their earlier acquisitions. They'll face the real possibility of shareholder unrest." "Bertie, if we increase the offer by a little, that's liable to make them act in our favor. Our offer is less than half of what they've just got done paying." "Their share value has dropped by forty per cent Bunny. The market has already priced in the loss of value because they paid too much." When dad said that, Uncle Bunny stopped and thought for a minute. He was clicking his fingers on the table, like a piano player practicing his notes, only faster than that. "You tell them that Tommy. If they believe you, ninety million will seem like a lot better offer to them. It isn't true, is it?" "They paid about forty million too much for the three acquisitions. Our company was worth about seventy five. The other two together are worth eighty five to ninety. Combine them into a single company, and streamline them a little, as I'd planned, then they might be worth what they paid for them. As a division, combined, and with our increased market penetration, the division is worth the two hundred million they've paid for it. The stock price is slipping because it was overvalued going in, priced at a ridiculous multiple of earnings for our industry." "They'd be better off ignoring the share price, and maintaining all that they currently have?" Bunny seemed unconvinced. "No, they need to shed some of that short term debt. They'd be better off issuing more shares and using the proceeds to pay down the short term obligations. All of their long term debt is with favorable and flexible repayment schedules." "Wouldn't that dilute shareholder equity?" Mama asked that question. By her tone of voice you could tell she wasn't in favor of diluted equity. "Not if it allows them to digest their acquisitions, and, by doing that, to further grow their company. You faced a similar situation when you signed that one per cent a year contract with me. You diluted your ownership equity, but the value of what you kept increased every year. At the end, when we sold, your forty per cent was worth more than ten times what your fifty per cent had started out being worth." "If we get it back, I'll only own thirty per cent instead of the forty per cent I owned before we sold it." "You're forgetting something Bertie. You'll still have the forty million they paid you for your selling it the first time." Dad was nodding and smiling when he said that, and so was Uncle Bunny. Finally, Mama broke out into her own smile too. After dinner we all went back into the library to allow Hans and Gerta time to clear away dinner dishes, and to straighten out the dining room. Twice while dad was walking with her, I noticed Mama bumping into him. I knew what that meant, and so did Uncle Bunny. He said good night to us and left right away. I told Mama that I wanted to go up to my room and make a phone call. I was still dialing the number when I heard them passing by my room on their way to their bedroom. I was thinking that Uncle Bunny was right about everyone wanting money. Just talking about it seemed to make Mama get in the mood for sex. Maybe she was more like Brenda than I thought she was. If they did get the company back, and I did get ten per cent, I'd be pretty rich. I was thinking about how Brenda might react if I ever told her that I was worth a lot of money. I was dialing Emily's number while I thought that about Brenda. I wondered if I was becoming just like the rest of them? Was it all the money I'd get if they bought the company, or was it Brenda or Emily? Something had made my dick get hard. I put the phone down without finishing dialing Emily's number. I didn't want to be like that, all caught up in the power and the freedom of having a lot of money. I already could see the changes I'd been making since I came there to live. Living there had changed me, and some of it was for the better, but probably not this. I sat on my bed for a few more minutes, thinking about what I was becoming. When I got up, I went downstairs, into the kitchen. Gerta was working hard still, putting everything away, and cleaning up after all of us. I asked her if she needed any help, but she just smiled and told me that she had only a few more things she needed to get done. I told her about what I'd been feeling, how I was afraid that I was changing into someone I wouldn't want to be. "Kenny, there's nothing wrong with being rich, or having all of this." She spread her hands to include the house, the cars and everything. "People can be rich and nice, or rich and not nice. As long as you remember that the money is just a tool. In this house, it isn't the money that makes the problems. Stay a nice boy, and keep thinking about other people. If I start to see you being not nice, don't worry, I'll let you know it. Are you worried about what you've been doing with that girl, the one that you had up in your bedroom?" "Her and Brenda too. I'm mostly worried that I'm starting to think that I deserve all this good stuff I've been getting, that I'm beginning to expect it." "You think that girl from yesterday comes into her kitchen and helps the woman who takes care of her family? She does it with you, because you set the example. In her own house, it wouldn't occur to her. That's why you are so different, and why Hans and I appreciate you so much. You think of other people besides yourself. Missy and Bunny were like you too, they still are. You can't teach caring about other people, not past a certain age. Don't worry so much. At your age, you should have as much fun as you can. Enjoy everything you have now. It breaks my heart when I hear you talking about what it was like in that other place, but then, when you went back there and gave away all your money, so that the other boys would have Christmas presents, I was so proud of you. That's why I'm not worried, and why you shouldn't be. There's no harm in enjoying these things, not as long as you realize that you aren't the only one that matters." Gerta and I had a piece of German apple strudel that Hans had bought over at the Kleinschmidt's delicatessen. I almost always felt better after spending time with Gerta. I knew that she wouldn't tell me something just to make me feel better about things. She and I had an unspoken bond. It was different than what I had with Mama, but probably almost as strong. I went back upstairs after thanking Gerta for the strudel, and giving her a hug that was for all the rest of the things she did for me. As soon as I closed my doors, I phoned Emily. She and I spoke for thirty minutes. For some reason, we were guarded with each other. "Mama and Brenda's mother are going to Springfield tomorrow. They're taking Brenda and me with them." "She called me as soon as she got back from eating at the club. She told me what happened, and what your mother told her." "I don't know what my mother told her, but that's what we're doing. I wish you could come with us." "I wish I could too, Kenny. Are you going back to being friends with Brenda again?" "What did my mother say to Brenda, when she whispered in her ear?" "Brenda didn't say she whispered it. She said your mother told her that she was the perfect girl for you. She told Brenda's mom that she was going to get the two of you back together again." "Find out from your mom if you can go tomorrow, if I can get you invited to come with us. We'll be leaving after my dad leaves to go back to New York. I think he's leaving around noon. We'll be back sometime tomorrow night. I need to be back at school before nine o'clock." Emily left then, to go ask her mom. She came back after being gone about five minutes. "She says I can go, if I'm invited. You'll have to call over here to invite me though, after you find out if it's all right. What do you think Brenda's going to say if you do invite me?" "I don't know. I'm not going to go if Mama says you can't come. If she wants to get tricky, I can be tricky too." The next morning, as soon as Gerta brought all three of us our breakfasts, I asked Mama if it would be okay for me to bring Emily too. My father laughed as soon as I said it. Mama gave him a dirty look. "Kenny, don't you think that might be awkward? Emily and Brenda are friends are they not?" "They're friends, and they tell each other everything. Brenda told her what you whispered to her, and to her mother. Emily told me." "That was rude on Brenda's part, and on Emily's as well." "I really would prefer it if Emily could come with us." "Perhaps another time, dear." "I really would prefer to bring Emily. This time." "I'm afraid it won't be possible, Kenny. It's too late to change everything now." "Then let's postpone it. I don't want to go anywhere with Brenda without Emily being there too." "Is this an ultimatum?" "I'd rather it be a request." "And if I refuse to grant it?" "In that case, I doubt very much that your plans for Brenda and me will become a reality." "Bertie, why not bring the other girl too? You have plenty of room in the limo, and the girls are friends it appears. What can it hurt?" Dad was still smiling when he said this. He was enjoying watching the way we were sparring with each other. "This was to be a day for reconciliation for Brenda and Kenny. How is this to be accomplished with Emily right there? We might very well make matters worse than they already are." "Mama, I really think you're wrong about that. They couldn't get much worse anyway. With Emily there, at least there would be some talking going on. Without her there, I doubt that I would speak five words to anyone. Certainly none to Brenda." "Call Brenda, Kenny. Ask her if she will agree to have Emily make the trip with us. If she agrees, I'll allow it." "No, I don't think so. You invited Brenda, not me. Since she's your guest, you call her. I'll call Emily if Brenda agrees to it." "Kenny, I think your mother's request is reasonable. Since you are the one wanting to make changes, you should get permission from those who will be affected by those changes." My dad was still smiling, but I could tell he was trying to prevent my getting into an impasse with Mama. He was telling me that I should compromise too. "I'll go up to my room and phone her then. If she says okay, should I check back with you before phoning Emily?" "Yes, thank you. I'll need to change our reservations for dinner, and then make sure Hans stocks sufficient drinks and snacks for all five of us." I went upstairs with every intention of calling Brenda. With each step I took, the prospect of doing so became more difficult for me. I knew it was mostly my stubbornness, my not wanting to be made to do what I didn't want to do. I got in my room and walked over to the bed. It was time for me to face up to one of the problems I kept telling myself I wanted to change. I didn't know why it was so important for me not to call Brenda, but it was. If I didn't call her, after agreeing to do it, I would be the one who decided to give up. I could go right back down the stairs and tell Mama that I wasn't going to invite Emily. Insisting that I wouldn't go now, after we had reached a compromise, wasn't an option. I either had to call Brenda, or go without Emily. I made my decision, reluctantly reaching for the telephone and dialing. Naturally, Richard answered the phone. "Please tell Brenda that Kenny is calling." "You're lucky Mr. Chalmers was there to protect you, dip shit." I didn't say anything, preferring to wait quietly until Richard got tired, and either hung up on me, or went to get Brenda. Either way, I had spoken to him as much as I planned to. In a minute, he put the phone down and went to get Brenda. "Hello?" "Hi Brenda, this is Kenny. My mom asked me to call you to make sure you didn't have a problem with Emily joining all of us today. You don't, do you?" I waited to see what she would say. Brenda was pretty smart, and I decided that she was going over the different possibilities for either a yes or no answer. I was hoping that she had talked with Emily, and Emily had told her what I said about me not going unless she did too. "That sounds like fun, Kenny. Are we going in the limo?" "Yes. Try to behave yourself today, Brenda. I don't want to be embarrassed like yesterday." "Do you like Emily better than me?" "Those are the kind of questions I meant, Brenda. Did Emily already tell you what we did Friday?" "She told me what she said you did. She said you didn't do it." "That's true, we didn't." "I didn't either, Kenny. I just wrote it. After I sent it to you, I wished I hadn't, but it was too late by then." "We can have a good time together today, as long as you don't try to talk about us, Brenda. I don't want to talk about us anymore." "Kenny, I've really changed since the summer. I can be better now. I'm on the pill too. My mother knows that I really love you. She won't interfere." "I'll see you after we pick up Emily, Brenda. I hope you won't be talking like this when we're in the limo with our mothers. Goodbye." "I'll see you this afternoon. Think about what I said, okay?" "I'll see you later, bye." Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 39 I called Emily, but only after telling my mother and father that Brenda had agreed on Emily coming on the trip with us. I told her that we'd stop by her house to pick her up soon after one o'clock, when my father was scheduled to leave. When I came back downstairs, Mama told me that dad was waiting in his study to speak with me. I went there and knocked on his door. "Come in Kenny, and close the door. I wanted to speak with you about what happened this morning. I'm not sure what all of that was, or what any of it means, but I did recognize it as being a departure from the norm, for both of you. I'd like you to tell me how you saw it." "The thing with Brenda about us bringing Emily, or the thing I had with Mama?" "I guess the negotiation you had with Bertie. How did you manage to get her to compromise with you?" "I didn't, you did. Or, maybe, we both did. I'm not really sure. Mama does what she wants to, there's no way to predict what she wants to do." "No, she backed down. She retreated from her announced position. That isn't something she does, not usually. What did she want badly enough that she was willing to compromise to get it?" "For Brenda and me to get back together?" "Why would that matter to her?" "I don't know. It just does." "All right, we'll come back to that later. Why was it important to you to have this other girl along, and why were you unwilling to phone Brenda?" "Mama was being tricky, setting this up with Mrs. Connor and Brenda, without asking me first. I decided that asking Emily to go with us would help me with talking to Brenda, and, at the same time, let Mama know that I could be tricky too." "Why do you want to be tricky? I thought you were against trickery?" "I am against it, but, if she's going to try to trick me, I have to let her know I can trick her back." "What happened that caused you to decide to phone Brenda when you earlier said you wouldn't?" "What you said. It made me stop to think what Mama had done, back when she said that she'd agree, but only if Brenda did. You were saying I should be willing to change some too. So, I listened to you." "From the look on your face when you finally agreed to call Brenda, I'm guessing that you are unused to compromise too?" I didn't answer him right away. I was used to compromise, but only made them with myself. At the orphanage I used to make myself do certain things that the sisters wanted, but not most of the others. Always before, when I did that, it was because I had decided on making the compromise, not because they made me do it. That was an important distinction to me. I'd never given in on anything while they were trying to force me to do it. Later, when they quit trying to force me, I might do it, but only if I decided that I was ready. "I wanted to go, but I didn't want Mama to have it all her own way, with the trip, and with getting me back together with Brenda. I wanted to show both of you that I was willing to give up some too, as long as she had." "Your mother was relieved that you did that. She was convinced that you were going to cancel the outing if you didn't get what you wanted. Still, it surprised her when you agreed to call Brenda. How serious is this problem that you and Brenda seem to be having?" "We keep getting into trouble, and then fighting about things. She's too concerned with money, and she doesn't listen to what I tell her to do, or not to do." "Trouble like what happened out at the club that time?" "Yes, like that. Being around her makes me do things I shouldn't do. She just permits it, she even encourages me do them to her." "Aside from the obvious problem with Walt, and your young ages, why is this troubling to you?" "I don't like to get into trouble. She doesn't care when I tell her that. She just wants what she wants." "Your mother told me that you took this other girl into your bedroom Friday night, and, according to her, the noises from your room caused her to believe that you were having intercourse with that young lady." "We didn't do that. She yelled, but not because of us doing that. We were doing cunnilingus." "Let's pretend, for the moment, that I didn't hear what you just said. Kenny. There are certain types of personal information better left unspoken. What I heard you say was that there was no intercourse, and I will report that information to your mother. Your mother is also concerned that there will be trouble because of having the two girls there with you at the same time. How do you propose to avoid this problem?" "I'm going to tell Brenda that I like Emily too. I already told Emily that I like Brenda. They both tell each other everything I do with either of them anyway. I'm hoping that Brenda will start doing what I ask, now that she has to worry about me picking Emily instead of her." "You are courting disaster there. Women are ruled more by their emotions than men are. When a man is chasing someone with the intention of killing him, he will chase that person over a steep cliff, but then stop, satisfied that the fall has probably killed the individual he was chasing. A woman, on the other hand, will jump off that cliff, wanting to make certain that the job was completed. This is what you are facing, Kenny, and you are putting yourself in front of two of them at the same time. Have you really given this enough thought?" "They both like me, Brenda a lot, but I'm not sure about if Emily likes me that much. If anyone gets chased over a cliff, it will be Emily, by Brenda." "I stand on the sideline in awe of such confidence, Kenny. I hope it doesn't turn out to be misplaced. I'm finished with the talk your mother brought us together to have. Bertie has also informed me that she has decided not to pursue a divorce from our marriage, for which, I am very grateful. I've attempted to make this gratitude known to her, at every possible opportunity. This morning, she reminded me that her decision now places me under that monetary obligation that you and I had earlier spoken of. Do you recall it?" "The million dollars you said you'd give me if I came up with an idea that made her not divorce you? But, I didn't come up with any idea." "Well, according to Bertie, her decision was made because she wanted you to earn that million dollars. She said, without that as an additional incentive, she might not have come to the conclusion that a divorce wasn't necessary. It was your idea to tell her about my offer, and, according to her, that was the deciding factor for her change of heart. Therefore, under the terms of our agreement, I owe you this money." "I don't want it. I'm just happy that you aren't getting a divorce." "I'm afraid it's a little too late for you to refuse to take it. Your mother also said, to lessen any pain I might feel at having to pay you, she is also paying you a million dollars, as compensation for your good offices in helping her to arrive at this happy decision. We are both going to discuss this with Bunny, to seek his counsel on the best way to effect this transfer, so that the tax consequences are held to a minimum. For all practical purposes, the transfer has already taken place. We are just trying to make sure that what you end up with is the maximum possible under the current tax laws." "So now I really am rich?" "Not rich, but extremely comfortable, I'd say." "Can I do anything I want to with the money?" "Why do you suppose I already knew you were going to ask me that question?" "I don't know. I didn't even know about the money until just a minute ago." I was curious about how he knew that though. "You're going to give it all away again, aren't you?" He groaned and had his hand on his forehead when he said that. I was glad to know he hadn't guessed it right at all. "No. I just wanted to know if it's really mine, or if it isn't." "I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice, Kenny. Wait until the funds have been transferred before telling your mother, or anyone else, what your intentions are for this money. At some point, you should disclose them to Bunny, however, because it's likely that his knowing this will allow him to save you more in taxes. As far as I am concerned, you may do whatever you wish with your money." After that, he and I went looking for Mama. We found her waiting in the library for us. We all sat down to an early lunch, needing to do that because dad had to get ready to leave for New York again. When he went upstairs to get his things, Mama went with him. They came back down, about fifteen minutes later, Mama was laughing and bumping into him, as they tried to navigate the stairs. Dad had his suitcase in his right hand, with Mama on his left side, so he wasn't able to avoid her little bumps. He was laughing too while they came down, whispering stuff in her ear. Whatever he was saying, it just made her laugh even more. Right after he left, Mama had me go get Hans to ask him to bring the limo around. I found him in the kitchen, having a sandwich with Gerta. He started right in kidding me, because Gerta had already told him about Emily and Brenda both coming along on the trip. He said he had put a mattress in the back, and filled all of the ashtrays with rubbers for me. I kidded back with him, telling him that I was bringing Brenda's great grandmother along for him. Gerta slapped him on his arm when he laughed, and made a face like he approved that idea. I gave Gerta a hug, telling her that I'd keep a close eye on Hans, to make sure he behaved himself while he was gone. I was just about to leave when I had another good idea. I went into the library and asked Mama if Gerta could ride up front with Hans. That way, she'd get a day away from the kitchen, and wouldn't have to be left at the house all alone. "Go ask her if you'd like, Kenny. There's plenty of room for her, and it would probably be a treat for her to get a day in the city. I'm happy that you thought of asking her." I ran back to the kitchen and asked Gerta. At first, she said she couldn't go, because there were so many things she had to do. Hans and I both kept after her though, and Hans said some words to her in German, that got her blushing and laughing. After about five minutes, she went off to her apartment to change her clothes. It took her about twenty minutes to get ready, but when she came out, she had a nice dress on, and she was smiling a lot. Mama made a comment to her that she looked too good to sit up front with Hans, she should come to the back, and sit with the rest of us, and drink champagne When we locked up the house and left, Mama wasn't in as good a mood as she had been before. I felt bad in a way, but then I thought that her mood swing might be because she missed my father already. I decided that I'd be extra good on the trip, and try my best to help her get her good mood back again. When we got to Emily's house, her father came out with her. I had gotten out to open the door for Emily, and when my mother saw Mr. Carstairs, she stepped out of the limo as well. I shook hands with him and my mother let him give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I turned to Emily and gave her a hug, and a kiss on the cheek as well. I figured her father couldn't very well complain about that, not after he did it to my mother. While Mama and Emily's dad were talking, I helped her into the back seat and got in after her. I heard Mama telling Mr. Carstairs that we were running late, and then she got back in, and we took off towards Brenda's house. "Did you talk to Brenda since I called her to ask her if you could come with us?" Mama didn't say anything, but I knew she'd be interested in Emily's answer. "She called me right after you and I hung up. She said she's glad I'm coming. Are you two going to get back together?" "I'm not sure. My mother expects us to, don't you Mama?" "I'm sure that's a decision you and Brenda need to make for yourselves, Kenny. Brenda's a lovely girl, but your choice of friends is entirely your own." "That's good. I think I'm going to keep them both. All three of us can be friends together. You still want to be my friend don't you, Emily?" "I don't want to cause any trouble though. If Brenda doesn't mind, I can be, but we'll only be friends." "Really? When you say friends, do you mean just friends? Or, do you mean friends like we were Friday night?" I could see Emily peeking over at Mama before answering. "Friends. Not boyfriend and girlfriend, because that wouldn't work out for anyone." "It would work out okay for me. I'm not ready to get serious, Emily. I'd like to have as many friends as I can get. We wouldn't have to do anything if you didn't want to. I told you, I really need some friends." "You know what I meant, Kenny. You can only have one girlfriend." When Emily said that, Mama nodded her head in agreement with her. By the time Emily said this, we had pulled up in front of the Connor house. Mrs. Connor and Brenda started walking towards our car. I got out and let them get inside. Mrs. Connor said hello to me and then got in the limo, deciding to sit with Mama. I looked up at a smiling Brenda, standing about a foot in front of my face. "Hi, Kenny." She looked the same as always, perfect. I guess I was just a big sucker or something, but every time I looked at her, I somehow managed to forget why I was supposed to be mad at her. No one else had ever made me feel that way. When I was away from her, I could think straight, and remember the things I wasn't happy with about Brenda. That close though, I had my brain surrounded by her beauty, and it was all I could manage to remember where I was and what I was doing. "Hello Brenda. We need to get going, because we have a long drive ahead, and we're running just a little bit late already." Emily had scooted all the way over on the seat, until she was way over on the driver's side, close to the other door. I expected that Brenda would sit in the middle, and that I'd be on the passenger side. Instead, Brenda sat where I had planned to, leaving a lot of space, between them, for me. I noticed that everyone sitting in the back was smiling at me. I got back inside the limo, shutting the door, and taking my place in the middle where Brenda had left a space. As soon as I was settled, Hans pulled away from the curb. "Isn't this nice? We're going to have a lovely time. Don't you agree, Georgia?" Mama was trying to set the tone and indicate the mood for the ride over to Springfield. She sounded a little apprehensive. I wondered how much of that was because of the conversation I'd had with Emily on the drive over to the Connor's house? "I'm looking forward to it, Bertie. I can't remember the last time I attended an art exhibit. Walt isn't interested in the arts. His interests are sports and business. After those two things, his attention and interest falls off rather dramatically." "It was a good idea, Mama, thank you for thinking of it. I've been wanting to see Brenda again, so we could try to get some things resolved. I think Emily, Brenda, and I need to have a good talk about where all of us stand now. Should we wait until the three of us are alone, or should we just talk freely in front of you and Mrs. Connor?" "Well, Kenny, I suppose that depends on how private the conversation is meant to be. I'm sure you wouldn't want to discuss personal matters in front of your mother, or Brenda's. You wouldn't want to embarrass anyone." "I don't think anyone is going to be embarrassed. It would be more like a chance for all of us to be honest, and clear the air. It's just like you said, a chance for all of us try to reconcile our differences. I'll start off then? Brenda I've always liked you, even when we were mad at each other. I really feel bad about the way things seem to happen to us all the time. A big part of that, was my fault, because I don't really know anything about girls, or what was normal for them to do, and what wasn't." I could see my mother's face out of the corner of my eye, and she was smiling happily at me, obviously relieved by what I'd said so far. "Part of our problem was because I knew we were doing things we weren't supposed to be doing. These things are what got us both in trouble with our parents." I saw Mama's smile fade, to be replaced by a worried frown. "Mama, please don't worry. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad here, or to do anything to upset any of your plans for us to all enjoy ourselves today. I just thought it might be better if all of us knew what the rules were, so we could stick with them. If we do that, no one needs to get upset, and we wouldn't need to worry about being punished." "Kenny, different situations call for different rules, or, if you prefer, guidelines. It would be impossible for all of us to anticipate every situation that might come up. I told you before, you should always try to act like a gentleman. If you do, there aren't any situations likely to cause you to get into trouble." "Brenda, can you think of any situations that might come up, between you and me, that might end up with one or both of us getting into trouble?" "I can't think of any, not off the top of my head, Kenny." Brenda was smiling, and she spoke confidently. I smiled at her, waiting for her to say something else, but she sat there smiling, content to leave it like that. "How about you, Emily, can you think of anything? Is there something that might happen between you and me that would get us in trouble?" I was facing her and smiling, because I saw she was uneasy with all of this. She had no way of knowing where any of this was heading. I had insisted that she come with us, and I felt obligated to protect her to some extent. "No." Emily answered a little bit hesitantly. She didn't seem comfortable at all now, so I put my hand on her arm and squeezed it to let her know that it was all okay. "Mrs. Connor, can you think of anything that might get Brenda and I in trouble with either yourself or Mr. Connor?" "I can think of several things, actually, many things if I'm going to be honest. I'm not sure any of those things that I can think of are pertinent to this discussion. You obviously have something specific in mind, Kenny, why don't you just go ahead and tell us what it is." Mrs. Connor seemed a lot better poised than she usually was. I think this was because Mr. Connor wasn't around, and because she already had one or two drinks before leaving her house. At least, she was smiling, and seemed to be in a good mood. She certainly seemed more relaxed than any of the rest of us. "Brenda told me that she was on birth control pills now, and that you wouldn't interfere with things, if something was to happen between us. I wondered if this was accurate or if she was mistaken?" "Kenny! I want you to apologize right now. That was totally uncalled for. You don't ask these kinds of questions of a girl's mother." "Forgive me, Bertie, but, perhaps, with the way things have worked out in the past, Kenny is right to ask me about this. I wouldn't mind answering him, if you will permit me to?" I had the feeling that Mrs. Connor was prepared for me to ask her about this. I wondered if Brenda had told me about being on the pill because her mother had suggested that she do so. I was probably being a little paranoid, but I even wondered if Mama had known about this already also. The only one who looked like she was caught totally unprepared, was Emily. Apparently, Brenda hadn't mentioned her birth control pills to Emily. "I'll leave it up to you then, Georgia. It isn't a question that I consider appropriate, but I'll defer to your good judgment in this instance." "Thank you, Bertie. Kenny, Brenda and I are very close, we always have been. I take some pride in believing that Brenda knows she can always come to me, to discuss absolutely anything. For the past six months, almost all of these conversations we've had have concerned you, and her growing feelings for you. Brenda loves you, Kenny. She has confided to me her desire for as much intimacy with you as you will permit. We've discussed this together, at some length, and both of us believe that the threat of any unwanted pregnancy should be eliminated. Yes, to answer your questions, I did put her on the pill, and no, I have no plans to interfere if the two of you desire to pursue a greater physical intimacy. Having said that to you, you should also know that Mr. Connor isn't a party to any plans or conversations that Brenda and I have had concerning this particular topic. He would not give his approval if he did know." "Thank you, Mrs. Connor. I appreciate you being so open about that with me. I'll be open with you as well. If Brenda and I continue seeing each other, sooner or later, she's going to need that birth control." I could see that my saying this was something that Brenda was hearing with some happiness. Mrs. Connor didn't seem surprised at all by what I'd said. Mama seemed unsurprised as well. Emily looked troubled though. "Emily, is something the matter?" "No, I guess I'm just a little hurt because you had already made your mind up, and you didn't warn me first." "I'm certainly not choosing Brenda over you, Emily. That isn't what I've been saying, not at all. If I felt that way, I wouldn't have tried so hard to have you join us today. I really enjoyed the time we spent with each other on Friday. I also enjoyed that time when we took the trip over to Bolling. I seem to be able to spend time with you, without all of the problems that Brenda and I always had. That fact alone weighs heavily in my consideration. If I were forced to make a choice right now, between the two of you, I'd probably choose you." Emily's whole face lit up when I told her that, but there were three other faces back there who weren't pleased to hear me declare myself. I think Brenda was the most shocked of those three. I believe she had just assumed, since we now practically had permission to have sex together, I'd choose her without giving another thought to Emily. I hoped I was still a better person than that. "Kenny, I'm sorry, but I must protest. This is exactly what I feared would occur when you insisted on Emily's inclusion today. Emily, I honestly mean no offense to you dear, but today was planned as an opportunity for Kenny and Brenda to work at solving their differences. We all knew that you and Kenny were becoming good friends, but, Brenda and Kenny have the potential to be far more than that. I take full responsibility for allowing Kenny to talk me into making this an awkward situation for you." "Emily, this isn't awkward for me, and it needn't be for you either. The truth is that I wouldn't have agreed to come if you hadn't been here with me. Mama, if you continue on like this, we're going to wind up back home, which would ruin this whole idea of yours. You have your agenda, and I respect that, but I also have mine. With some compromise, there isn't any reason why both of us can't get a big part of what we want, but you're going to have to allow me to make these compromises in my own way. Please, don't try to force your will with this." "How do you think this makes Brenda feel, Kenny? She was promised an opportunity to settle these differences with you." As soon as Mama asked this, all of us turned to look at Brenda, and, predictably, she began to cry. "Do you want me to ask her about it, Mama? I'll be happy to do that if you wish. Brenda, how does it feel? You are so close to getting what you want from me. Is my having Emily as a friend going to be so difficult for you, that you'll be willing to just give up on the two of us renewing our friendship? Would you rather go try to find some other rich boy and try to make him love you? You were right before you know, I really am rich now, right Mama?" "Kenny, it isn't good manners to discuss wealth, or the lack of it." "I'm a millionaire now though. I hope you aren't going to try to tell us that you aren't a believer in that old saying about the rules not applying to the rich? Don't take this the wrong way either, because I'm very grateful to you for everything you've given me. I just thought it was important for Brenda to know, before she makes her decision, that what she always believed, about me having money, that thanks to you and dad, it was now true. So, what do you say, Brenda, should we turn around and forget it, or should we go ahead with things, exactly the way I've presented them to you?" I sat back in my seat, satisfied that I'd accomplished everything I'd hoped to. I'd been completely open and honest with all of them. If there were any deceptions taking place, they weren't my doing. The next move was Brenda's. I had one hand on the seat close to Brenda, and the other one right next to Emily. When I looked over at Mama, her smile surprised me. Mrs. Connor wasn't smiling, but she was still very composed. I felt Emily's hand reach out for mine, and then give it a squeeze. I was happy that she was opting to be my friend. For me, this was a tremendous relief. I had feared all along that Emily might decide to withdraw, seeing it only as a competition with Brenda. I had much more confidence that Brenda was too focused on what she wanted to let this little setback affect her. She was tenacious, and, if she had really decided that I was the one for her, I felt that it was about even odds that she would tell me not to take her back home. I believed it wouldn't take too long for her to make the necessary accommodation to the proposition I was offering. To me, I was compromising with her, by letting her back into my life like this. I was bending to give the two of us another opportunity. Emily would have the same opportunity, although she was starting out well behind. I wanted their friendships, first and foremost. I had reached the point where I no longer was willing to settle for being alone. Getting to that point was a huge leap forward for me. How I was accomplishing it, that was my family's doing. I had listened to Uncle Bunny, Mama and my dad that time at the dinner table, when they were all discussing putting the squeeze on Consolidated. Their concern was the success of their bid for buying up dad's division. It hadn't taken me long to see the similarities and parallels between what they wanted to accomplish with their efforts, and what I was now trying to do. I was learning. I wasn't trying to pull a fast one, or take advantage of Brenda's panicked situation about having lost me. I wanted to find a way to let her back into my life, but I wanted some safeguards too, some way to protect myself from her lack of concern for how other people were affected by her decisions. I believed that Emily would act as a tempering influence on Brenda's excesses. If I were proved wrong, I would still have Emily. But, if I was proved right, I had them both as friends. I could see that Mama was already ahead of me, figuring out what I'd been able to accomplish. I looked at her until I was sure I had her complete attention. I wanted her to have time to notice the way that Brenda had reached down, with both of her hands, taking the one that I'd left near her. "You'll still get to keep the forty million." When I said it, her face got a puzzled look, but just for a second or two, before she broke out in a radiant smile. She got it, just like I knew she would. Whatever anger or disappointment she might have had because the day wasn't unfolding the way she had planned it, was more than compensated for by her knowledge that I had planned and executed my own social coup. What mother can hold back from showing her joy at her son's first triumph? Not mine, that was for sure. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 40 We spent the next two hours of our journey with Brenda and Emily covertly competing for my attention. Mama and Mrs. Connor were both drinking. They drank a whole bottle of champagne together, and then another bottle of some white wine they both seemed very happy with. After an hour, you could tell they had been drinking quite a bit. I had already given Brenda a little make up kiss, and then I had to give Emily one as well. It was after this that the whispering began. Brenda was the first to beckon Emily closer, until she was leaning across my lap before Brenda started whispering in her ear. After, they were both laughing, and Emily told her no. Before too much more time had passed, Emily signaled Brenda to come closer, then she whispered into Brenda's ear. Brenda then whispered something to Emily, which got them all laughing again. I offered to switch places with them so they could whisper together easier, but Brenda told me they both liked it fine the way it was. I already was pretty sure that Brenda's arm brushing across my lap hadn't been accidental. When Emily did the same thing a few minutes later, I was certain that both were deliberate. As soon as Brenda leaned across me the next time, I raised my arm and touched her breast. In the position she was in, neither of our parents could see what I was doing. Emily saw it though, and she started laughing. After they resumed their places again, Emily told Brenda that it was Brenda's turn to ask her to lean in for a whisper. "I don't think so, Emily. Didn't you have your turn Friday night?" For just a second, I had visions of my carefully orchestrated alliance splintering apart. Emily stepped in to save it though. "We didn't do any of that, Brenda. We just did the stuff I told you about." Surprisingly, to me at least, Brenda beckoned Emily to her, and before too much longer, I had another small breast in my hand. This time, Brenda did a lot of whispering in Emily's ear. I was able to hear part of it, and Brenda was talking about whether or not her mom and mine would pass out before we got to the city. When Emily put her weight down on my lap, then moved back until it rested more on my knees, Brenda reached in and gave my dick a friendly little squeeze. Emily watched as she did it, and both of them erupted with laughter. I'm sure that I was blushing, and I know my face sure felt warm. Later, Emily did the same thing, while Brenda used her body as a shield. We kept this up almost constantly, until Hans pulled up in front of the restaurant where Mama had made reservations. The restaurant was pretty dark when we went in there, but there were a lot of people already eating. I liked good light when I ate, so I could see my food clearly. I didn't want to eat dead flies or other bugs by accident. Nobody else complained though, so I kept quiet about it too. Mama and Mrs. Connor had a drink before dinner, and then two more glasses of wine with their meal. Mama only ordered a salad, and Mrs. Connor ordered some soup, but she didn't eat much from it. The adults might not have been hungry, but the three of us more than made up for their lack of appetite. I had the Spencer steak with a salad and baked potato. Emily ordered shrimp scampi, and Brenda wanted to try some dish that had crab and lobster in it, served inside a loaf of bread. I don't think it turned out to be what she thought she was ordering. All three of us took bites off of each others plates. I managed to put my hand on Brenda's lap when I bent over to let her give me some of her bread dipped in the liquid on her plate. It tasted very good, whatever it was, and I tickled Brenda's pussy for about three or four seconds too. When we got to Klatsky's, there was no place close by for Hans to park, and the gallery was jam packed with people. Mama asked everybody if they'd mind our not going inside, telling us she would feel uncomfortable having to wade through such a crowded area. No one objected, so Mama got on the intercom, and told Hans to take us to this big shopping mall. When we got there, we all went inside, with Mama telling Hans to come pick us up at the entrance where we were, at six o'clock, which was only two hours away. I could see that Brenda and Emily were disappointed that we would have such a short time to look around, but I told them I had to be back at school before nine o'clock. Mama opened her purse and gave me four fifty dollar bills. "Kenny please take the girls shopping and buy each of them something nice to wear. Georgia and I will be in that restaurant, relaxing while you enjoy the shops. Come find us before six, so that we'll all be ready to leave here together." She was pointing at this restaurant on our right, just inside the entrance doors. I took the money, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Brenda, Emily and I headed off to explore the mall. I took a back seat to the girls when it came to shopping. There must have been at least sixty, or maybe even seventy, stores in the mall. A lot of them sold women's clothes. "How much did she give you, Kenny?" I was beginning to become adjusted to the realization that Brenda wasn't going to change anytime soon. "Two hundred dollars." "What are you going to buy us? Do we each get a hundred to spend?" I could see the excitement in Brenda's eyes. It wouldn't have surprised me if she had tried to talk me into spending all of the money on her. I had almost one hundred fifty dollars on me, besides the money my mother had given me, but I didn't mention that to Brenda. Emily had her arms wrapped around my left arm, but it was at least five minutes before Brenda noticed it. "Emily, what do you think you're doing? Remember what we said?" Emily dropped her hold on my arm. "What did you say, Brenda? If you girls have an agreement, I want to know about it. I don't want you two agreeing to stuff that concerns me without telling me about it." "We agreed that Brenda is your number one girlfriend, and she gets to be first when it comes to us doing new things." "Well, go ahead and hold my arm then, because Brenda's already done that. Right, Brenda?" "That isn't what we agreed to, Emily. I'm his girlfriend, and you're his friend. You can do things with him, but only after I tell you it's okay. That's what we agreed to." "Brenda, I didn't agree you and Emily could make decisions about me. I don't like you thinking it's all right for you to do this with Emily. You're my friend, and she's my friend. Neither one of you is a more important friend to me than the other one. I thought I made that very clear back in the car? If you don't want to do something, you don't have to, but I don't want you telling Emily what she can or can't do. Emily, the same goes for you. I don't want you making agreements with Brenda about how you're going to treat me. Part of the reason that Brenda and I quit being friends was that she didn't pay attention to what I told her I didn't want. So far, you and I don't have that problem. I hope that continues to be the case." "Kenny, I never agreed that it was going to be like you just said. If that's what you think, then you're wrong. I thought you wanted to be my boyfriend again." Brenda seemed genuinely upset. I don't know how I could have possibly made it any clearer for her. She just didn't listen to what I said. "My mistake then. I'm sorry, Brenda. Do you want to continue shopping with us, or do you want to go off to be by yourself?" I watched as her very beautiful, and expressive, face ran through the full range of her angry expressions. She finally settled on something halfway between hurt and angry, before moving forward and taking my right arm. I held out my left one for Emily, and soon, the three of us started back to walking along the big corridor in front of all the stores. We were just window shopping until we got to a store for young women that was going out of business. They had signs in all the windows announcing that fact, with a smaller sign saying that everything inside was sixty per cent off retail price. We were looking at this when a lady got in the window and crossed off the sixty per cent and wrote in eighty per cent. With a series of excited squeals, Emily and Brenda fled from my side, hastily running through the open store door together. It was after five thirty before I handed the sales clerk the four fifty dollar bills and received thirty one dollars in change. Each girl had two large plastic shopping bags filled with their new clothes. I wondered why they were both so excited, until they both reminded me that the combined retail on their purchases would have been almost nine hundred dollars. The way they said this to me, you would have thought they were trying to explain light switches to a moron. I was allowed to carry one bag from each of them, as we crossed over to the other side to look at the stores as we headed back to the entrance. We got to the restaurant at about five til six, and both Mama and Mrs. Connor had obviously spent their two hours in there drinking. Mrs. Connor was worse off than Mama was, but not by much. They were both too far gone to be able to follow along as the girls expressed their excitement over the shopping that they had just experienced. I helped Mama, and Brenda and Emily each took a side to help Brenda's mom. Hans had to get out of the limo with Gerta, and they both helped Mama and Mrs. Connor get settled in the back. Gerta looked worried, but Hans acted like he thought it was pretty funny. Soon, we were on our way back to my school. Within five minutes of Hans leaving the mall, Mrs. Connor was asleep, and snoring softly. It took Mama longer, but she was asleep ten minutes after. The three of us were being quiet, but we played around a lot more after both adults were asleep. We were doing a lot of kissing, and Brenda let me play with her kitty too, but only for a few minutes, because we were both nervous that our mothers would wake up. Emily didn't let me touch her pussy, but she did rub my crotch for me, while we kissed, and she let me rub her breasts for her. When we got to my school, I got out, and so did Emily and Brenda. There were four or five other students outside watching as the three of us got out of the limo. When Brenda and I had a final kiss, we got some catcalls and a few people yelled out rude comments. As soon as I was done with Brenda, I took Emily in my arms, and kissed her just as passionately. This time there was silence from the other students, until after we came up for air. "You're one lucky bastard, Kenny!" I looked over, and Terry was shaking his head in amusement. I thought I detected some envy from him also. The girls got back in the limo, and I waved at Hans and Gerta as they pulled away. It had been a great weekend, and I was pretty happy with the way all of it had turned out. I quickly settled into a nice routine. Each night, I would call home and speak with Gerta and my mother, and after, I'd call either Brenda or Emily. I switched off calling first one, and then the other, but they would call each other, right after, to tell each other what I had talked about. Brenda was trying to get me to invite her over to my house for Friday night dinner, and then up to my room later, so that she could spend time with me on my bed, just like Emily had. On Wednesday, my dad came home. He spoke with me on the telephone on Thursday, telling me that negotiations had broken down with Consolidated, and he had decided not to resign, but to leave New York, and return to running his division from Bolling. When I asked him if the repurchase was not going to happen for sure, he was vague about it, saying that anything was possible. Dad sounded all right about things, but Mama wasn't happy at all. When I saw Uncle Bunny on Saturday, he looked like his best friend had died. That's when I started believing what he said about money being important to him and Mama. I tried explaining to Brenda that it wasn't a good time for her to be asking to come to dinner, but she kept after me to ask my mother if she could come. Finally, I just explained to her that everyone at the house was involved in a big business deal for millions of dollars, and they didn't feel like entertaining anyone. Surprisingly, Brenda said that she understood, and would wait for a better time. At least she was consistent in her love of and appreciation for money. I wondered if her church wasn't really a bank. I did ask Hans to stop at Emily's on Friday, when he was on his way to pick me up, to give Emily and Brenda a ride out to the Academy. This time, there were thirty or forty boys outside, waiting in the cold, for the limo to show up. There were boys from 'search' and 'spicamore', in addition to almost my whole floor at 'joke hall'. Both girls stepped out, dressed identically, thanks to the closeout at that mall store, and they put on quite a display in greeting me. I introduced the girls to all of the students whose names I knew, and a couple of the other guys, the ones whose names I was unsure of, came up to Brenda and Emily and introduced themselves. It was Brenda who first came up with the idea of bringing some of her friends over to Holton, so they could meet some of the Academy guys. There wasn't much going on in Holton, but most of the students could get day passes to go into town, if they weren't under some other restriction. Brenda said she knew at least five other girls that would probably like to meet them. If I had known she was going to suggest it, I'd have told her not to. As it was, I was as surprised as the other guys. The main difference was that I was the only one that thought it wasn't that good of an idea. On the ride back home, I let Brenda know of my misgivings. I would have chastised her if she and Emily hadn't raised the hems on their identical skirts to show me that neither had any panties on. They wanted me to take turns licking their pussies. Each got comfortable on the two facing seats after I dropped down on the floor. I was glad that I had a clean school uniform at home that I'd be able to change into before heading back to the Academy on Sunday night. There was something added to the pleasure of doing cunnilingus, when there are two different pussies involved for you to lick. I didn't tell Hans to take his time, but he did, and I was glad for it too. With Brenda, I used my fingers and my tongue, but Emily wouldn't let me use my fingers on her, just my tongue. I think that Brenda probably had more cums, but Emily was definitely the loudest when she came. When we got done, I checked the ashtray and was happy to find some rubbers had been put in there. I'd forgotten to ask Hans to do it. I was going to play with myself, that's what I was planning on, but Brenda told me that she wanted me to put it in her. I was tempted. In fact, if Emily hadn't been there, I probably would have. I saw how she reacted when Brenda told me to do it in her, and I told Brenda that there wasn't enough time. Both of them watched me as I stroked myself to a good cum. Emily just watched me, but Brenda had a finger in her kitty, and was pushing it in and out at the same speed I was doing mine. Brenda watched as I came, but she wasn't able to cum again herself. She looked disappointed that I had turned her down. Hans pulled into Emily's driveway and dropped off both girls. I went up front to ride with Hans, but he handed me his hankie and told me to wipe my face off first. Did he think I was going to try to kiss him? I wiped my face anyway though. When we got home, Hans took me around the back way, so that I could wash my face with the water from the sink in the garage. It wasn't heated, but it was better than me walking into the house smelling, like Emily and Brenda's pussies. The way it turned out, it wouldn't have mattered. When I did go in the house, Mama, Uncle Bunny, and dad were in his study going over a counter proposal that Consolidated had faxed over to dad at his office. I went upstairs to change and wash my face and hands with soap and hot water. I flushed the used rubber down the toilet too. I had tied a knot in it, but I didn't want to carry it around in my pocket, forever, either. When I went back downstairs and knocked on the study door, I interrupted a three way argument they were having about what they should do about the Consolidated counter offer. Uncle Bunny wanted to accept it. He said even at one hundred twenty million dollars, it was still a significant bargain. Mama wanted to wait, doing nothing, to find out if Consolidated would get nervous, and drop their countering price. Dad said he thought they should offer one hundred five million, but no more than that, and make their offer good for one week only. Usually, when I came home, everyone was happy to see me. This time, they were too excited, and too busy, to make any fuss over my return. It was three quick hellos, and then right back to business. I left and went in to see Gerta. She was happy to see me, and she showed me the ham she was baking, and the sweet potato pie that was baking underneath it. She let me have some homemade sugar cookies and a glass of milk, to keep me until dinner was served. She told me that my parents and Uncle Bunny had been in the study ever since my dad came home at noon. When I had kissed her, Gerta had stiffened, but she didn't say anything to me. She waited until I finished the milk and cookies, and then told me I should run upstairs and take a nice shower before dinner. "Kenny, make sure to shampoo your hair too. It smells funny." I was embarrassed, but I didn't know what to say to apologize to Gerta. I'd never gotten into a situation like this one before. "Don't worry about it, Kenny. I'm not upset with you. I just don't want you getting into trouble for it. I used to have to tell Bunny the same thing, three or four nights a week, when he was in high school, and dating Brenda's mother." Gerta put her hand over her mouth, and started laughing into it, and her face got all red. I guessed that she had just realized what she'd told me. The conversation at dinner was more of the same. Each of them was staying with their opinion of what they should do to make the deal work. I felt like Mama was probably right, but nobody asked me what I thought. When it became obvious that none of them were going to budge, I volunteered my opinion. "I think Mama's probably right, just wait to see what they do. Didn't all of you agree they couldn't get another buyer if dad were to quit them? That's what he should do then, just quit. If they were ever going to sell at that price, they'll do it right after dad says he quits. If not, the price they tell you will probably be their best price, then you can figure out if it's good enough, or if it isn't. That's what I'd do." "See, even a fifteen year old understands what we should do." Mama was pleased that I agreed with her. "If we do it your way Bertie, we might end up not getting anything at all. I don't like the idea of us losing control of the company. At least now, I have some say in how things get done. I can try to protect the workers. None of us really believed we'd end up getting the division for ninety million dollars. Not really." Dad was trying to convince Mama by scaring her about losing control of the company. "I believed it, Thomas. I still believe it. Bunny was right you know. A lot of the value in that division is the top management that controls it. It just happens that we control that top management." "I agree with you, Bertie, Tommy is the key, but because we're aware of it, it doesn't mean that the Consolidated board realizes it." Uncle Bunny was still hoping to get them to meet Consolidated's terms. To him, their asking price was still a great deal. He, more than the others, was being practical in his arguments. His fear was that dad's quitting would turn the board away from any idea of selling the division. "They realize it, Bunny, why do you think they were willing to pay us so much to buy the company? To get Thomas, that's why. They planned on acquiring those other companies all along. Nothing else makes any sense. Look at his record for achieving growth year after year. Do you think they weren't as familiar with his record as we are? Do what Kenny and I are recommending Thomas. They'll cave in twenty four hours after you submit your resignation." "What if you're wrong, Bertie? Suppose they don't cave in, what then?" "Have some faith in yourself, Thomas. What's the absolute worst that could happen? You'd have to go out and look for a new company to run? With your past management record, you'd be flooded with good offers in no time. You'd have your pick." "I like running my division. I've spent my whole life, since high school, working with these people. I'm not willing to just abandon them at this juncture. I have enough faith in myself. Enough to believe that the employees would be best served with me at the helm." "That's true, but would we be best served with Consolidated selling off your division to another buyer, or with them continuing in their ownership? By we, I mean the four of us. We need to think of it from that perspective. I don't like you needing to run all over the country to run your business the way you have to now. I liked it better when you were home at night, and we could plan our social activities together. We're not New York people, Thomas. Let's buy the company back, and go back to how it used to be." "That's what I'm trying to do, Bertie. It's you who wants to try to play hardball with the board. I'm beginning to side with Bunny on this, pay them what they want, and let's get the deal done, once and for all. One twenty is a bargain." "Thomas, pay attention to me. I'm about to compromise with you. You seemed upset before, that I'd compromise with Kenny, but not with you. Here's my offer. You do what Kenny and I suggest. If, after two weeks the board hasn't accepted our original offer, we'll buy the division for any price you can negotiate with them. I will pay any amount in excess of the one twenty, that you and Bunny are so anxious to give them. Is that a good compromise for you?" "Bertie, if I understand your offer, you have a deal. I resign, and we wait two weeks. If they don't agree to sell at our original offer, I can negotiate to buy the company, at whatever price they'll agree to, and you will pay any overage beyond one hundred and twenty million. Is that it?" "Yes. So, do we have a deal?" Mama was smiling. She was happy to make this deal. I wondered why. Even if they sold the division to us for the ninety million, that would only save her ten million. Suppose they held out for two hundred million? That would cost her eighty million dollars. "Yes, it's fine with me. I hope you don't wind up taking a serious financial hit here. What about you, Bunny, are you okay with this deal too?" "Certainly, as long as it's only Bertie's money at stake." Dad and Uncle Bunny were smiling at each other now. "You're greatest problem, Thomas is you've never realized your value. You always sell yourself too cheaply. It's time someone showed you what I've known, since the very first time I ever set eyes on you, that you are a very special man. You'll see, when they accept our offer, it will be the same as having them admit that you represented, at minimum, thirty million dollars of the value they placed on the division." "Thank you, Bertie. I have to think that was the nicest compliment I've ever been given. Coming from your lips, it means more to me than if anyone else had spoken it. It is nice to know you hold me in such high regard." That ended the business discussion and dinner. While my parents and Uncle Bunny retired to the library for an after dinner drink, I stayed back and began clearing off the dishes and the silverware. Twenty minutes later, the dining room was ready for the next meal, and I went into the kitchen to find Gerta working on washing the dishes. "Where's Hans?" "Airing out the big car. He's afraid your parents will ask him to bring it around tonight, and it will smell like "der Puff"." "What's der Puff?" "A whorehouse in English, I think. A place where women sell sex." I blushed then. I hadn't done anything about that when we got home, because I was sitting up front with Hans, and worrying about the smell on my face. Here I was trying to save Hans and Gerta some time by helping them with the dining room, and poor Hans was out in the cold, trying to keep the limo from smelling like a whorehouse. "Don't worry about Hans, Kenny. He is probably drinking from the bottle of schnapps he thinks I don't know he keeps hidden in the garage. It will be good for him to be out in the cold thinking he is more clever than me. Besides, if I know my Hansel, he is probably smelling those seats, and remembering when he too was young and handsome enough to be able to excite young girls. Tonight, I will get the benefit of this remembering." Gerta and I were both still laughing when Hans returned, and asked us what was so funny. We didn't tell him, but we laughed even harder after he asked us that. At eight thirty, Brenda and Emily called me. They were over at Emily's house, watching Gary, while Emily's parents went to some party over in Bolling. They were both bored, they said, and wanted to ask me about why I didn't want them bringing girls over to Holton, so they could meet my friends from school. "Half those boys outside today are from the reform school part of the Academy. Three of them are rapists for sure, and another one stabbed his girlfriend. They got sent to Clement Academy because their fathers had money, and enough political pull to get them sent to the Academy, rather than a normal reform school." "That can't be true. Clement Academy is for rich kids. Everyone knows that." "Suit yourself. Just make sure your girlfriends don't have anything sharp in their purses, and that they're all on the pill. One of the rapists got three different girls pregnant before they caught him. That was Willy, the big kid with the scar on his forehead that I introduced you to. His father is a state senator, in Indiana or Iowa, I forget which. Remember Gil, the short kid, with that twitch in his right eye? He got caught in a burglary, and almost killed the woman who caught him. He didn't need the money either, he just liked to break into houses, and look at other people's things." "You can quit making these stories up now, Kenny. We don't believe you." Brenda was sounding nervous, in spite of her protests that she didn't believe me. "It's true, Brenda, I swear. Those guys don't get day passes though, except when accompanied by a special counselor, which is very rare. You need to know who you're inviting though, because not all of the boys are people you'd want hanging around with your friends." "You can show us which ones are okay." "Not me. I don't want any part of this. All these boys go weeks at a time without seeing a pretty girl. I'm not sure I would trust any of them with a nice girl. Except for Nigel, I'm sure he'd behave." "Which one was Nigel? Was he there today?" "No. He was there the first time you came. He was the one who asked you if you had a brother." "He was pretty cute." "He wasn't kidding, Brenda. He likes boys, not girls." "Kenny, this is Emily. Do you know yet what you're doing this weekend? Brenda is staying at our house, tonight and tomorrow night. You could come over and visit us. Gary goes to sleep at ten o'clock. Brenda told me that she was ready to do it with you. She told me she'd let me watch you guys doing it." "She's trying to get ahead of you Emily." "I don't mind." "Well, I do. It's your turn next." "I don't want a turn. Brenda can have my turn." "It isn't you who gets to decide whose turn it is. You get to decide when, or if, you want to take it. Don't worry, I don't mind waiting, ask Brenda." "But Brenda says she's ready, and I want to see you guys doing it." "I'm sorry you feel that way, Emily. It looks like we're all going to have to wait a long time then. Maybe we'll get to know each other a lot better, and be closer friends while we're waiting." Brenda got on the phone then. "I know why you're doing this, Kenny, but it isn't going to work. I can wait as long as it takes. Are you still going to keep doing what we did today?" "I suppose so. Why wouldn't I? You both seem to like it, and I like doing it. We probably shouldn't do that in the limo anymore though." "Why not? I thought it worked out well today." "It did for us, but Hans was out in the cold tonight, airing the back seats out, because my parents might need the limo later." "Where else can we go to do that?" "My room, I guess. I'm pretty sure my mother doesn't mind. She didn't say anything about when I had Emily up here, and Emily screamed so loud she probably could be heard over at her house. I bet Brownie heard her, even if her parents didn't." I heard both girls talking and giggling in the background. "Emily wants to know if she sucks you, will you do it to me?" "No, but tell her I'll do it to her, whether you suck me or not." "Do you really like her better than me?" "We're all friends, Brenda. That's all I'm going to tell you. I like you a lot. You shouldn't worry about if I like her better than you. I don't even think like that." "That just means that you do, Kenny. It would be better if you'd tell me that you like me the best. Emily wouldn't mind. She knows I love you and she doesn't." "I never said I didn't Brenda, don't tell Kenny I don't love him. Kenny, I didn't say that." Emily and Brenda were wrestling for the phone. I could hear them fighting, straining, and laughing as each one tried to gain control of the telephone receiver. After a minute, Brenda came back on the line. She was breathing like it had been a lot of work to get that phone back. "Kenny, Emily didn't say it, but she still doesn't love you. Not the way I do. I'd do anything you asked me to, but she wouldn't." "Anything? Good. Stop trying to get me to do it to you before I do it to Emily." "Not that. I meant if you wanted me to let you do something to me, I'd let you." "Brenda, I knew what you meant. I'm asking you to stop trying to get me to have sex with you. I'm not ready for that yet." "You're ready for Emily, but not for me?" "I knew she'd say no. With you, I'm pretty sure that you would do it." "I would. I already told you that. You heard what my mother said, Kenny. It's okay." "Is it okay if I wait until I'm ready? I'm pretty sure it's going to happen. I know I really want it to happen. I'd like to feel more confident in us, before we take that last step." "If you told me again that I'd be next, I wouldn't have to worry about whether it would be me or Emily." "Don't worry. It will be one of the two of you, and, Emily doesn't want to do it with me." "Suppose she changes her mind later?" "Brenda, I'm getting tired of telling you to stop, and having you continue on anyway. You really need to learn how annoying that is to me. I don't do that to you, and I don't like it when you do it to me." "If I don't keep asking, how will I know when you're ready?" "I know you think you're ready, so that's one yes. I know Emily isn't ready, so that's one no. I know I'm not ready, so that's another no. When we have two or three yes's, then we'll do it." "Suppose Emily say yes before you do, then what?" "If you say yes, and Emily says yes, then I'd probably say yes too." "Can I keep after Emily to say yes, then?" "No, it's her decision to make, not yours. You get to decide for you, and we get to decide for us. What you want isn't more important than what I want, or what Emily wants." "How will you change your mind, or Emily change her mind, if no one helps you by giving you reasons?" "Don't you think we're capable of talking ourselves into things? Every time I see you, I think about that. I almost talked myself into it in the limo today. When I do it, I want it to be because I wanted to." After we all hung up, I tried to think about why I was so sure that this was better than just having Brenda come over here, or me going over to Emily's house, to do it to her there. Without Emily in the equation, I would have, I was sure of it. Without Brenda, I would do it with Emily too. I thought that was strange, but it made sense to me somehow. Maybe this was the best part of having these two friends together, they made me stronger than I'd be if I only had one of them. Having Brenda made me strong enough to resist Bea's temptations, because I didn't want to betray Brenda. With Brenda alone, I wasn't strong enough to say no to her, not when we were all alone, and she was willing to do things. I still didn't know if I was, but I was pretty sure I was going to find out. We played golf together on Saturday and Sunday. Uncle Bunny played with us on Saturday, but said he had something he needed to take care of on Sunday. I spent all the rest of my time in the house, spending time with my mother and father, and with Hans and Gerta. Gerta told me that she had hired a woman to help her in the kitchen, Monday through Friday. She was starting her job in another week. All I knew about her was her name was Elizabeth, and she was a widow. Gerta said she was young, in her twenties, and that she would continue living with her parents, in Ridgeline. Sunday night, I drove back to school with my dad. He drove pretty fast, but he was a very good driver. He liked driving fast. He said it cleared out his cobwebs. I didn't know if he meant in his car or in his head. Maybe he meant both. "I'm resigning tomorrow morning, Kenny. Well, retiring I guess. Bunny tells me that I'm fully vested in the company's retirement program, although I can't take out any money until I'm at least fifty nine and a half years old. I guess I can manage until then if your mother stops adding new ideas to that learning center. Did she tell you about the island green she wants to build now. Another million to put in the water and all the other drainage and greens, and we probably won't get even one additional penny of return for it. She isn't going to be satisfied as long as anyone has a penny or two left. Don't let her talk you out of your money, Kenny, I might need to hit you up for a loan soon." "Do you feel bad about resigning?" "I do. This is the only real job I've ever had, except for three months at a company that Senior Chalmers bought right after I went to work there. Bertie's father was every bit as stubborn and determined as she is. What she's doing is something that he might have done. Those two could get an idea in their head, and no one could ever talk them out of it." "I think she's right this time. If they're scared already, having you quit is going to make them even more scared." "They'll be scared, but you can't predict what they'll do when they are. She's guessing. It is an educated guess, I'll grant you that, but it still is only a guess. Without the safety net she's offered, I wouldn't risk the futures of all our employees on a guess." "What do you think is the most you'll have to pay if she's wrong?" "Less than one twenty, but not too much less. My leaving isn't going to make them raise their price. I have enough ego to believe that. I doubt she'll have to spend a penny extra, but her being willing to do so lent a lot of support to her argument. Bunny and I haven't mustered that level of commitment." We got back to the school, and after I went inside the building, at least thirty guys asked me to make sure their names were included on the list of boys that wanted to meet Brenda's friends in Holton. I wondered if they thought all of Brenda's friends looked like she did, or like Emily did. When I asked them where a good place to meet was, they told me Sparky's Truck Stop on Arizona Street, (Hwy 75). I'd never spent time in town, so I didn't know. I still had a bad feeling about how this might turn out, but I'd promised Brenda that I'd try to find four or five boys who were nice for her friends to meet. I asked her if Claudia was one of the girls she was planning on bringing, but she just said she hadn't decided on exactly who yet. I told her if Claudia was on the list, I'd make sure to invite Willy along. When I called home on Monday, my dad had resigned, and then taken two weeks of back vacation time. He said the chairman of Consolidated had taken his defection poorly. He seemed happy about that at least. I told him that I hoped it would work out all right and be over soon. Mama was happy about everything. She kept repeating that they could expect some quick action now. Mama was right. On Wednesday, the chairman called dad at home and offered him the division for one hundred million dollars. Mama told dad to say ninety million was all they would pay, and that the offer wasn't going to wait around forever for them to make up their minds. Friday morning, dad got another call. This time it was from the new chairman of the board of Consolidated. He wanted to know how soon the sale could be pushed through. Friday afternoon, dad, Mama, and Uncle Bunny flew to New York. The M&A guy that dad knew needed for Mama and Uncle Bunny to sign some papers guaranteeing certain things before the money would be put up. They were staying in New York at least through Wednesday, when all the papers would be signed, and the division would officially be sold. On Thursday, after the sale was announced, the stock opened two points lower and ended the day off five and a half points, representing an additional loss of ten per cent of it's original value, before they started making those three acquisitions. A stock that had been as high as fifty seven dollars a share, was now selling for twenty six. I spent the weekend at home, working on school things, and talking on the telephone with Brenda and Emily. I met Elizabeth, Gerta's new helper, on Sunday, right before Hans drove me back. She was average height, with really dark hair, and she kept her jacket on the whole time I was in the room with her, so I couldn't tell anything about her figure. She wasn't fat though, because her neck was slender, and her legs and ankles weren't thick. She didn't speak much, at least, not to me, and she was kind of pretty. She would have been a lot better looking if she ever bothered to fix her hair and wear some lipstick and other make up. She reminded me of someone, but I couldn't think of who it was. I had only one more week before Spring break. We got one week off, but it was a different week than Emily and Brenda's school gave. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- Chapter 41 It was the week before our Spring break, Nigel tried to hang himself in his bedroom. It was on Tuesday night, after we were all in our bedrooms. I heard a loud thumping sound, followed by the light in my bedroom going off. The sound had come from Nigel's room, and when I opened my door to get some light, I discovered that all the lights in the building had been knocked out. We found Nigel slumped on the floor with torn sheets wrapped around his neck, and the lighting fixture pulled from his ceiling. He had wrapped the sheet around the light fixture and kicked his desk chair over. The weight of Nigel's body had pulled the fixture right out of the ceiling, and this had shorted out all of the electrical in the building. The night counselors from 'search' came over and took Nigel to the school infirmary, where he stayed until an ambulance came and transported him to the hospital in Bolling. He had been unconscious, but alive, when we found him, but he had bad neck bruises and was cut on his face in several places, probably from where the light fixture had landed on him. On Thursday, someone came to our apartment and packed up all of Nigel's personal belongings. The school officials wouldn't answer any of our questions, and rumors started to circulate that Nigel had succeeded in his suicide attempt. Thursday night, at supper, Dr. Cleary, one of the administrators, announced that Nigel was doing well, and that his parents were bringing him home to England. On Friday morning, the pay phone on our side of the floor rang, and it was Nigel, calling us from the hospital to say his goodbyes. He said his throat and neck were really sore, but he was glad he was going back home. His mother had flown back over from England, to get him, and accompany him back home. Jerry was the one who missed Nigel the most. They had been close friends, and Nigel had been the only one who helped Jerry out financially. I spoke with Terry about that before I went home for Spring break. We decided that we would help Jerry with the magazines and snacks that he always liked. It wasn't a lot of money, and Jerry didn't really have much else that he could look forward to. By the time my parents got back from New York, several important things had changed. Dad had presented Uncle Bunny and Mama with an analysis he had been working on. It contained all the details from his original division management plan. This plan called for integrating the three companies into a single coordinated division. The report was very complete, including sales and income projections for the next five years. According to those projections, most of the cost savings were made possible by the elimination of duplicated services. The sharp sales increase would be a result of the three companies sharing their individual market penetration. According to dad, by combining these three separate entities into one dynamic company, the combined sales, and, more importantly, the resultant profits, would increase by double digits each year in the near term. He estimated the near term to be at least the next ten years. The figures he showed were with and without Consolidated's greater marketing capabilities. Without Consolidated's West Coast and Southern market penetration, they wouldn't be a national presence like they would have been before, but, by staying in the Midwest and Northeast, their combined shared area coverage would generate a sufficient volume of sales to allow them to remain competitive, with all their competitor's. They would be able to compete on price and value. Dad's report concluded that, without the two new acquisitions, our old company would still be vulnerable to a squeeze out attempt by one or more of several of the larger national competitors. Based on this information, plans to spin off the two acquisitions were immediately put on hold. Dad was told to look into the possibility of getting long term financing for their repurchase. Until that financing could be put in place, Uncle Bunny and Mama each agreed to pay forty six million to the M&A company that had financed the original buyout for them. When I got home Friday night, I asked dad, at dinner, whether the new set up was going to require him to travel more, or less, than he had been. "Considerably less, I believe, Kenny. I won't be going to New York all the time to report to the board, and we'll be based in Bolling, instead of having regional operations. Of course, all of that presupposes that we decide to retain the acquisitions, rather than sell them off. No final decision has yet been reached." "Of course we're going to keep them, Thomas. Why would we want to sell off assets that you were planning on growing so nicely?" Mama was thrilled to be back connected with the company again. One of the things that made her the happiest was that the new contract she and Uncle Bunny had worked out with dad didn't call for her ownership percentage to erode every year. He had an equity ownership equal to hers, and would serve the new company without any other compensation, other than his normal business expenses. The weather was starting to get warmer, and while the golf course was only open on weekends now, the practice range was open daily. I had a whole week off from school, and was planning on spending a lot of time at the club. Mama had checked with Dave, and we were going to resume my daily lessons, beginning Monday. Dad would be tied up with his business, and Mama would be busy with the revised plans for the golf learning center. They had decided on which architect and design plans to use, and building and course construction would get underway sometime in early May. Mama was excited with her final design, and dad and Uncle Bunny were excited that she had agreed to no further changes or additions to the plans. I had been talking with either Emily or Brenda every day on the phone. Their school vacation started a week after mine, and, on Friday, there was a dance at their school that both were attending. We had talked about what they could do with other boys, and I told them both that it was for them to decide, not me. I felt a little jealous, but I wasn't expecting them to do much more than dance with other boys. I had invited both of them to come out to the club and have lunch with me on Saturday. I left with Hans at about nine A.M. on Saturday. Mama and Uncle Bunny were in a meeting with the architect, and dad was going into Bolling to have a strategy meeting with the other two heads of the acquired companies. Things had been happening so quickly that none of the employees at any of the three companies had any idea of where things stood. None of them knew who had bought up their company. Dad wanted to give these men information on where things stood, and discuss some of his plans for making changes. When I got to the club, I had my clubs, and a large bucket of balls brought up for me. Because of the chill, I stayed mostly with my wedges and nine iron, working on my accuracy, and trying to figure out how much distance I lost when I choked two inches down on each club. At eleven, I went over to the putting green and practiced longer lag putts. I had gotten to the point where I understood how many strokes it was costing me to leave five and six footers instead of two or three foot putts. I wanted to get to the point where I almost never three putted. I was determined that I'd break eighty over the summer, from the white tees. I was counting on improved first putts, and added distance and accuracy with my driver. The girls showed up at twelve thirty. Emily's father had driven them out, and I was going to get Hans to drive all of us home. Lunch was going well, both Emily and Brenda had the fried shrimp, and I went with the steak sandwich. All of us ate French fries and had Cokes to drink. Brenda told me about the dance, detailing what she and Emily had worn, which was another of those matching outfits from the closeout purchases we made at the mall. They had danced a few dances with several boys, but they said most of the dances had been slow dances, and they didn't dance with any one boy more than three times. After lunch, I asked the girls if they wanted to watch me hit more golf balls, or if they'd rather go to my house, to watch some television there. "In your bedroom?" Brenda was looking excited when she asked that. "We can watch in the library if you'd rather." Both girls shook their heads no and said "Bedroom!", at the same time. I left them sitting at our table, and went to call Hans, letting him know we were ready for a ride home. I told Gerta that we'd be having company, but that we'd all eaten already. In the limo, we didn't fool around at all, but there was an air of anticipation from all of us. Over the past week, we had talked further about what kind of friendship we all expected to have together. To me, being friends was the most important part. Us doing stuff was kind of expected, by me at least. I wasn't really able to put into words to Brenda the difference between what she said she wanted, and what I wanted. I wanted us to be friends, and she wanted us to be more than simply friends. Emily fell somewhere in the middle between us. Emily seemed concerned that Brenda not be the one who got to make all of the decisions though. When we got to the house, all three of us went up to my bedroom, and Brenda took the grand tour. She and Emily both talked about how my room was just wasted because I was a boy. They mostly meant the closet, and the big bathtub I never used. Before ten minutes had passed by, I was sitting in front of the television, watching a golf tournament, and Brenda and Emily were sitting on my bed, whispering together and giggling about something. When they asked me where my parents were, and what time they'd be back, I told them that my dad was in Bolling at a meeting, and my mother was out somewhere with Uncle Bunny. I told them I had no idea when they would return. "If we knew when they were coming back, Kenny we could do some stuff." Brenda was looking at me, but she was also speaking to Emily, making sure that she was willing too. Emily looked over at my bedroom door, which I'd closed but hadn't locked. I went to the door and threw the dead bolt closed, then went over to my phone, dialing a one, and then holding the button down for two or three seconds before letting it back up. Gerta answered it. "Gerta, if Mama or dad comes in, please call me in my bedroom. Thank you." I put the phone back on its cradle, turning to both girls as I did so. "What did you guys have in mind?" Brenda had that look she gets when she's excited. I knew what she was going to say, even before she opened her mouth to speak the words. "We want you to do it to me, while Emily watches us." Brenda watched me closely to see how I reacted to her saying this. I'd been telling her I didn't want her to keep after me to do that with her. Emily was watching both of us, but I could tell that she and Brenda had been discussing it together. "Only if Emily goes first. I already told you that, so I don't know why you thought my answer would be different this time." "Tell him, Emily!" Brenda gave Emily an encouraging little push on her side. "I'll let you do it to me too, but only after you do Brenda." Emily and Brenda were both staring at me now. I guess they thought I'd just believe them without any proof. "No, you have to go first, Emily. I know Brenda is really willing already. It's you I'm doubting. You go first, then I'll do it with Brenda, after." "Do it, Emily. You'll like it. He's not going to change his mind. I already told you he wouldn't." Brenda was already pleading with Emily. She sounded like someone who knew it was unlikely that she'd get what she was asking for. It was more her going through the motions than her having any expectation of getting her way. "I can't Brenda. I already told you why." "He's in Italy, Emily. You'll probably never even see him again. You told me that you really liked Kenny. Here's your chance to prove it. We talked about this, and you promised." "Brenda, Emily doesn't want to. Don't try to force her." "Why doesn't she want to? I don't understand why." "She just doesn't. Maybe she isn't sure she's ready yet. You should be asking yourself why you're in such a hurry." "It hasn't been a hurry. I've known you a lot longer than she has. Why do you want to do it first with her, anyway? I should be first." I knew that we were going to need to find some way to get it settled, or else spend the rest of their visit with me arguing about this. The problem was I couldn't think of any way to do it. Brenda was already sure about what she wanted, and so was Emily, at least about what she didn't want. I wanted to do it too, but I knew if I gave in, Emily would become the outsider, to both Brenda and me. This would put me right back in the same position I'd been in with Brenda before. Brenda would see this as a victory, and she'd have even less reason to make any changes in the way she operated with me. I was starting to feel like Emily would welcome becoming an outsider. I think she was a little bit afraid of where all of this might be leading her. "Emily first, Brenda. Emily, you just take your time. We'll wait until you're ready, I promise." Emily was still watching Brenda, waiting to take her cue from Brenda. I went back over to the door and undid the dead bolt. After that, I went back and sat back down, watching as Hale Irwin hit an iron about four feet from the flag. Behind me, I could hear the hissing as Brenda read the riot act to Emily about her messing up their plans for the afternoon. I turned off the television, before turning and heading back out of my room and down the staircase. I was sitting in the library, still watching golf, fifteen minutes later when Brenda and Emily came in to tell me they were leaving. I offered to get Hans to take them to Emily's, but they both said they'd rather walk. I remember thinking that I wasn't getting the benefits I'd hoped for when I'd first thought about setting up this three way alliance. Instead of Emily helping to keep Brenda in check by her presence, Brenda was trying to get Emily's help in achieving her ends. I was going to have to try something different. I had no idea what. At four thirty, Mama and Uncle Bunny got back and asked me if I wanted to go back out to the club and hit some balls with them. This was news, Uncle Bunny willing to practice? I didn't want to miss it. We were in the car before Mama told us that she and Uncle Bunny had each been given new drivers by an equipment representative from a company called Taylor Made. Instead of persimmon wood heads, the driver they each had been given had an all metal head, and the representative claimed the club went straighter and was much more forgiving. Uncle Bunny let me use his, but I didn't notice that it went any straighter for me, and it didn't travel as far as my MacGregor Eye-O-Matic persimmon two wood did. I had given up on the woods we'd got with my set of clubs, trading them in for a two wood and a three wood, both were used Eye-O-Matic's. I could hit the two wood off of the tee farther than I'd ever hit my old one wood. Dave told me that I should stick with the one I had the most confidence in. Uncle Bunny was convinced that he'd play better now that he had an all metal driver. All I knew was that the club face on my two wood was a lot bigger than the one on his Taylor Made. Also, I knew I hit mine a lot farther than he hit anything he owned. Mama hit hers well, but she said she didn't like the noise it made when she struck the ball. After she put her club down, Uncle Bunny came over and got it. After taking a few practice swings, he asked Mama if he could try her ladies club. In a matter of four or five hits, Uncle Bunny had found a club that really worked well for him. He had always been able to hit a ball pretty far, just never straight. With Mama's club, he hit it straight too. It wasn't just a lucky coincidence either, because he hit them like that, one after another for the next fifteen minutes. After the first two or three times Uncle Bunny smacked it, Mama and I stopped hitting our own balls, and just watched him hitting. "Not one word of this to Tommy, Bertie. You too, Kenny. This is going to really change my game. I'll probably save ten strokes a side, hitting them like this. I'm really going to take him to the cleaners." Mama and I both knew that Uncle Bunny was being too optimistic. Even is he was right about saving the twenty strokes, and he probably wasn't, that would still have him playing at around one hundred, and dad usually scored in the low eighties, eighty to eighty five when he wasn't self destructing. Dad usually gave Uncle Bunny five or six a side. Mama and I both smiled, and told Uncle Bunny we wouldn't say anything to spoil his surprise. The next morning, at eleven thirty, the four of us teed off, but not before Uncle Bunny convinced dad to give him eight shots a side for a five hundred dollar Nassau. I gave him eight a side too, for a hundred dollar Nassau, and Mama gave him eleven a side, for another five hundred. It was a massacre. Uncle Bunny had set all of us up. He'd been taking secret lessons from Dave for the past three months. He was also able to hit Mama's driver on the fairways, just as straight, and almost as far as his drives. He shot a forty six on the front and a forty four on the back, taking the three of us for thirty three hundred dollars. Thanks to how well he played, I won three hundred from dad, who shot a fifty one on the back, and a forty five on the front. Mama made a thirty nine on the front, and a forty one on the back, earning me another three hundred dollars. I played only so so, shooting an overall eighty six, but my forty two on the opening nine, and the forty four coming back in, was more than enough, with my stroke holes, to beat both of my parents. The funniest part was how impressed both my parents were with Uncle Bunny's improvement. We had a late lunch at the club and dad joked that Uncle Bunny had to pay the check. I knew the bill was all sent to the same account, so it didn't matter who signed for it. I was glad Uncle Bunny was coming back to our house, because I wanted to ride with him and ask him about my problems with Brenda. I figured he would have some ideas for what I could do, and he was someone I could speak honestly to, without getting embarrassed, or worried that it would somehow get back to Mama. "Uncle Bunny, Brenda wants me to do it with her." We had both just gotten into his car, and he hadn't even had a chance yet to turn the key in his ignition. Instead of doing that, he took his hand away from his keys, and looked over at me. "She's been trying to talk me into it for two weeks already." "You better go back to the beginning and start over again. This is Brenda Connor, Walt and Georgia's daughter that you're speaking of, correct?" "Yes. We kinda got back together as friends again, right after that dance you and I went to. The one where we both decided to sneak away early? As soon as we started being friends again, that's what she told me, that she wanted us to do it. Go all the way together." "I know what do it means, Kenny. What I hadn't realized was that the two of you were this far advanced in your relationship. You haven't done this yet, I take it?" "No, but I came close once in the limo, and yesterday, she was up in my bedroom with Emily, and she wanted me to do it then too." "Are you asking my advice as to whether you should, or not?" "No, I already know we shouldn't, but I'm afraid I still might, if the circumstances were different. I mean, I already know I want to, but I know it wouldn't be good for us to do that, because we always wind up fighting. I get along better with Emily, but I really like Brenda a whole lot more." "I see your difficulty then. That is quite a problem, one I've never had to face. Are you having sex with this Emily?" "No, I'm almost sure she's a virgin, even though she likes to pretend she isn't. I've done all the same stuff with her as I did with Brenda, except she doesn't let me put fingers in her pussy, sorry, in her vagina. She lets me do cunnilingus though, and she did me that way too, with her mouth, but not good like Bea used to do it." "Yes, I see. I remain unsure what it is you wish from me, Kenny. I applaud your wanting to consider other aspects and possible repercussions, before taking this romance any further, but I fail to see what I could recommend to you that you haven't already thought of yourself." "I don't want to do that with her, not if we're going to still be fighting after, and I don't know how we're ever going to be able to stop fighting. Brenda never listens to what I say to her. What she wants is always more important." "Kenny, I can sympathize with what you are telling me. I could tell you a hundred things that wouldn't work, because I've tried those things myself, for another, quite similar, situation. I've spent thirty years, off and on, trying to find a solution to your present dilemma, all to no avail, I'm afraid. I'm not certain there is a good solution, one that is available to either of us." "That's the other thing. Even though I know that it's going to turn out bad, I have a hard time staying away from her, because, I love her." That's when I started crying. Not because I was hurt, but because it was so frustrating. I'd never had anything like this before, liking somebody so much, and still knowing it wasn't going to end up good. The real reason I didn't want to make love to Brenda was because I knew it would only hurt me worse when we fought later, and then stopped being friends again. I'd changed a lot in the past eight months, but not so much that I could continue allowing Brenda to keep treating me like she did. I'd told her this a hundred times, but she still refused to believe me. She wouldn't ever believe me either, not until after it was too late. I could see that my acting like a big baby was bothering Uncle Bunny. I didn't usually act like that, and it was just as embarrassing for me. I knew he'd have helped me if he could, but I guess I'd already known that there wasn't anything that anyone else could do for me, nothing they could tell me I should do. It was my problem, and I was stuck with it. I stopped crying and wiped my eyes. Uncle Bunny started the car up, and we drove home. Before we got there, I asked him not to talk about this with my parents, and he told me he wouldn't. I didn't feel better after talking to Uncle Bunny. Usually, after talking to him, I did feel better. The next morning, Brenda called me from Emily's house. Her message was simple, either I give in to her demands, or else we were once again finished. She gave me until the following weekend to decide. I didn't call Emily or Brenda for the whole week I was home from school. Neither of them called me either. I spent the week practicing golf and listening to my parents talking about business. It was a lonely time for me, and I almost called Emily a hundred times, but something kept me from doing it. I never had any intention of giving in to Brenda's ultimatum. All I was doing was waiting to see if she would withdraw it before the deadline passed. By the following Sunday, I still hadn't heard from either of them, not a word, that's when I decided I wasn't going to be the first to call, not even after I got back to school. It wasn't as if I needed to talk to either of them. We had each made our own decision I wasn't upset with Emily, I wanted her to know I still wanted to be friends with her. Sunday night, after I got back, but before we had lights out, I tried writing a letter to Emily. Nothing I wrote made any sense to me. After an hour, I just quit trying to write to her. There was only a month left before I was going to be out of school, all of my final exams and term papers were coming up. I threw myself into my studies, hoping to keep these personal problems in the background, so I wouldn't constantly be dwelling on them. I'm not sure it worked very well, because I thought of those two girls pretty often. What did work, was all my study and early preparation in completing the research for my two term papers. I did well on my finals and got three A's and two B+'s on my final report card. We got out of school almost a full month before the public school kids, but that was because we started almost a full month before they did. When I came home, almost the first thing my parents asked me was whether I wanted to stay at the Academy, or attend the public school in town for my junior year. I think I would have said I preferred the public school, if my relationship with Brenda and Emily had been intact when they first asked me that question. As it was, I opted to return to Clement Academy. I could see that my decision surprised my father, and disappointed my mother, but neither questioned me, or asked for any reasons. I had changed a lot since leaving St. Cecelia's. I had learned to trust more, and to accept and give love. At home, our situation was still uncertain. Mama had her episodes of depression, but not as bad as before, and her withdrawals were all manageable situations, requiring only Gerta to provide her special loving care to her. Dad and I continued to get along, but more as allies than as a real father and son. We talked and checked in with each other's lives, but it wasn't at the same level of closeness or love I felt with Mama. What it was, and, to me this was important, was acceptance. He had accepted me as being a part of his family, and I, him, as being a part of mine. Uncle Bunny and I were closer than dad and I were, in many ways, probably because he was more fun loving, and was a lot more approachable. Unlike my father, Uncle Bunny was always willing to step away from his work for awhile, and just relax. He was the one I was turning to, more and more, for advice, and just to have someone to voice my problems and worries to. Hans and Gerta were my family too. I knew I could count on them to be sympathetic to any of my problems, and they were always willing to look at things from my point of view, keeping my best interests always in mind. They didn't try to push me in any one direction, instead, they tried to make whatever path I'd chosen, smoother, and easier for me to navigate. I felt like I belonged in my home now. Boarding school was also comfortable for me, giving me a way to make my transition into regular society just a little less abrupt and stressful. I hadn't yet found a way to interact with my peers on any level that could be called workable, not by anyone. I found I wasn't naturally that friendly of a person to begin with, and, after the way I'd grown up, my natural withdrawn state had been a survival trait useful for me to exhibit. That was no longer the case, but how did you break such an ingrained habit? If I had looked at my life, just as it was as I finished the tenth grade, and contrasted it with what it had been, less than a year before, I'd have been very satisfied with all the improvements. If I were forced to make myself pick one single thing to improve on, it would have been the way I related to the people from outside my new family. I needed to learn how to get along better with kids my own age. I knew that a large part of it was my own fears and my seeming inability to understand and deal with anyone whose values and experience were different than what I had lived through. I needed the comfort of knowing they had shared similar experiences. I was a young man caught between two different worlds. I wasn't yet ready to adapt to and flourish in my new environment, and yet, I'd undergone too many recent changes to ever be comfortable going back to the old one I'd left behind. I had my own family now though, one that had given me an incredible new future, with a strong platform from which to venture forth. I had so many advantages handed to me. More advantages than anyone I had ever known before could imagine. It wasn't believable, not for someone coming from where I had. I knew that my social awareness needed to be vastly improved, and that my ability to get along with my peers needed to have a complete overhaul. One thing I'd discovered about myself was that I too pushed people beyond the limits of their tolerance. I'd lost Emily's friendship, by trying to use her to help me control Brenda's behavior. At the same time, I'd alienated Brenda by refusing to give her what she wanted, something that almost any other boy would have been all too happy to provide to her. I needed to seek out a better way, one that allowed me to be more flexible, but still capable of maintaining my own values and beliefs. Happiness for me wasn't going to be possible, not until I learned how to separate friendship from need, and differentiate between love and lust. I'd come far enough to understand that I needed other people to provide me the emotional balance I'd never before possessed. I wasn't too worried though. I wasn't sixteen years old yet, and everything seemed possible to me then. In the next year, I'd learn and grow some more, finding ways to get what I really wanted. I'd learn about a different kind of currency, one that I'd never before been able to afford. True friendship. For now though, it was the end of one school year and I had months to go before I began another. On the whole, I was satisfied with so many things as I looked forward to starting... 11th Grade... Chapter One I was busy practicing my new pre-shot routine, the one that Dave and I had been working on for the past two weeks. It was growing warmer almost daily, as early May gave way to late. I had been hitting balls for more than two hours, comfortable now with my new set up and alignment. I was almost ready to leave, to go have some lunch in the country club restaurant. Two girls I'd never seen before, came walking over to the practice area. They each carried their own clubs, and shared the weight of carrying one of the super sized large buckets of practice balls. The kind that held at least two hundred and fifty balls. Dave and I had started my lesson with two of these, and I had no more than a hundred balls left in the second bucket. The taller girl, was the one who took the practice area closest to me. She was probably five nine at least, as tall as I had been before my latest growth spurt pushed me up and over the six foot mark. Her friend was shorter, perhaps five four, or five five at the most. She put her bag down about ten feet further away from me than the other girl had. These weren't your typical sleek country club beauties, but, perhaps, my first impression was based more on their total disregard for stylish clothes, and the obvious truth that neither of them had the slightest desire to impress anyone with their good looks. Both wore their hair cut very short. It was cut in a style that people would refer to as being 'easy to manage', but only if they were really reaching, trying to come up with complimentary things to say about it. Both wore cut off jeans and boy's shirts. The golf shoes they wore were new though, and their clubs and bags looked clean and extremely well cared for. I paid them only very slight attention at first, they were probably a little older than me, that was my initial thought, perhaps sixteen or seventeen. They didn't look enough alike to be sisters, so I already had decided they were probably just friends. I watched the two of them doing their warm up stretches, and that's when I noticed the shorter one wasn't wearing any bra. Her chest wasn't that large, but, without any support, her breasts were very noticeable as they moved around freely inside her shirt. I was watching that movement, fascinated by it, when the taller of the two yelled at me to mind my own business, and to stop being a pervert. "Jane, you ought to charge this guy admission, the way he's staring at your boobs." "Shut up, Grace, you want us to get kicked out of here before we even get our interview? I knew I should have kept this job offer to myself. This kid's probably a member here, and he'll report us for even being out here practicing like this. This is a private country club, not some muni where you can afford to piss people off." The tall one looked me over. I had on a nice pair of slacks and a collared golf shirt, which she paid scant attention to. It was my golf bag and my clubs that had her attention. I had just gotten a new set of Ping Eye-2 irons, the ones with the Square Groove. These irons were a lot better than my original set, and Dave had let me hit with them for three days, before I bought them, just so he could make sure I liked them enough to make the switch from my other set. Dave knew the owner of the company, and he said these new clubs had been custom made just for me. Dave had sent them all of the information about my size and the way I swing the golf clubs. They were pretty expensive, but Dave said I had grown too much to stay with my old set of irons. It had taken the time it took to hit about fifteen balls for me to fall in love with them. Even balls I hit off center traveled straight, and they went long too, especially for the miss hits. "You like those Pings? I heard they were expensive, but didn't have any feel at all. You can't shape a shot for shit with them. That's what I heard." "I like them. They just take a little getting used to. I grew too much to keep my old irons." I was wondering why she kept looking at my clubs. "Can I take a few swings with your six iron, just to find out if what my friend told me is true or not?" I looked at her for a few seconds, trying to decide if I wanted to be nice to her after she'd been rude to me. I walked back to my bag and pulled out my six, before coming back and handing it over to her. She set six balls up in a little row, using my club to line each one up just the way she wanted it. I knew right away that she was a perfectionist, and someone who took her golf seriously. She took five or six practice swings, off plane from where the balls were lined up, and then turned and set up for the first ball in line. Crack! The balls I hit didn't jump off the club head like that. One after another, six perfect swings, with each ball lifting up perfectly towards her target, which was one hundred seventy five yards out, directly ahead of us. I hit to that spot all the time, but with a five iron, not a six. I wasn't able to flight six balls in a row to the same basic area either, not like she had done it. She handed the club back to me. "Julie was right, Jane. The fuckers go straight, but you can't make them bend worth a damn." "Can I hit with it too?" The one named Jane came over and held her hand out for the club I was still holding. I handed it to her, and she did the same thing Grace had, first, taking her practice swings, going into her set up, and then she hit the balls, all to the same target. On her sixth shot, she closed off her stance and managed to shape a slight hook on the ball, making it land just to the left of the other five she'd sent out there. "You just need to exaggerate your stance more." She got out another ball then, putting a little bit of slice on it, so it curved right, before coming to rest where all the others were. "Nice club. I hit that one a little off, and it still went pretty much where I wanted it to go." I had been watching her breasts bobble around inside her shirt each time she hit a ball. I never looked up to see the flight of her ball until all the bouncing around was finished. I missed it at first when she tried handing me my club back. "You need to learn to be a little bit subtler when you're ogling someone, sport. It isn't nice to just stare and drool." I didn't know why Grace was trying so hard to embarrass me. I hadn't done anything to her. "I wasn't drooling. I was just watching to see what they'd do next. You two are really good. I bet you could give my mom a good game." This last part made both of them laugh. They went back to their practice positions, and started pounding balls. Both of them were really good. The tall one had more power, but the short one was a lot more consistent. She'd hit ten balls to the same spot, but the tall one would miss one of those ten, and leave it ten yards left or right. They hit balls a lot faster than I did, and their divots were a lot neater too. They would stay in one divot, putting their ball in the last forward inch of grass before their last divot, so they used up less turf while practicing. In the time it took me to hit the last eighty five balls out, they finished off their whole bucket. I was actually rushing to manage to finish when they did. "What now, Grace? She isn't supposed to even be here until four o'clock, and we spent our lunch money on that big bucket." It was around two forty five, so they had more than an hour to wait. Edited by: G. Clement (thanks George) ------- The End ------- Posted: 2006-05-25 Last Modified: 2006-07-18 / 11:20:22 am ------- http://storiesonline.net/ -------