Storiesonline.net
-------

                             Bottle of Wine
                               by Old Fart

Copyright© 2007 by Old Fart


-------
Description: John gets a bottle of wine so he'll be ready to score.

Codes: true
-------

A John Tale

Hey, Pete. Maybe you can use this in one of your stories.

I moved into an apartment. Every time I saw my brother, he'd ask me how much I was scoring. I kept telling him I wasn't doing well in that department. He'd tell me I had to be ready for the women and I'd try to get him talking about something else.

One day I asked him what he meant about being ready. He told me I had to have some wine. Then if I got a girl in my apartment, I'd have some wine for her.

I'd had wine before but I'd never bought any. Every once in a while I'd look at the wine when I went shopping and I'd think about what he said. In the meantime, he kept bugging me about making out with the women.

One day, I said "The Hell with it," and decided to get some wine. I went to the store and I don't remember what I got. It wasn't the cheapest thing there, but it wasn't the most expensive they had, either. I may have asked someone for some help in picking it out. I don't know.

So anyway, I got this wine and I brought it home and I put it on the counter. It just sat there, and every time I'd look at it, I'd see this bottle of wine, and it was as if it was staring at me. Of course, it didn't make any women come over.

So one day, I figure, "What the heck," and I decide I'm going to have a glass of wine. Like I said, I never bought wine before, and I had no idea about it.

I took off the foil and there's this cork. I didn't have a corkscrew, and I had no idea how to open it.

So I went down to a friend I knew who had a corkscrew. He got it out for me and he told me how to use it.

So I go back to my apartment and go to use it and I forgot what he told me. I try to get the cork out and I can't remember what I'm supposed to do and I end up shoving the cork down inside the bottle.

So I pour a glass of wine and there's these pieces of cork and I get them out and I take a drink.

I've had wine before, and I like it cold. This had been sitting out on the counter and it's like a hundred degrees. I get a mouthful and I spit it out.

So I couldn't get the cork out, so I had to figure out some way to seal it. Well, I did. I did something. I don't remember what.

So I put it in the refrigerator. It wouldn't fit standing up so I had to lay it down.

Then I went out of town for a few days. I don't know where I went. I had to go somewhere or something.

So I came back and I opened up the refrigerator and there's this mess all over the inside. The bottle had exploded.

So, that was interesting.


-------
The End
-------
Posted:  2007-02-16
-------
http://storiesonline.net/
-------