Storiesonline.net ------- Experiment 36 by BarBar Copyright© 2012 by BarBar ------- Description: Little Sally thinks her parents are weird but she might have an explanation. All she has to do is find out if the explanation is true or not. Caution: The "minimal" sex is between adults and off-stage. Codes: MF humor nud ------- Silence draped over the suburban street like a hot and sticky blanket. Heat rippled up from the asphalt in waves. Only the low thrum of air conditioners disturbed the silence. A neat row of identical brick-clad houses lined each side of the street. Red terra-cotta tiles adorned every roof. Only the layout and upkeep of the front yards and the colours of curtains in the windows hinted at the individual personalities of the occupants. An intruder disturbed the silence – shattering the stillness of the scene with its sudden noise and movement. A once-white minivan trundled noisily down the street – its engine labouring in the heat. A thick coating of dirt covered its entire surface except for the distinctive pattern left by the wipers on the front windscreen. It pulled up outside the third house from the end with a toot of its horn and a puff of smoke from its exhaust. The van doors opened and people of all ages spilled from every available orifice – very much like a disturbed ant nest disgorging ants. Every one of them had the same dark hair, the same distinctively Mediterranean facial features and the same stocky build. Every one of this multitude clearly belonged to the same family. From the youngest child aged four or five up to the elderly grandparents well past their prime, they all looked alike. The clothing of choice was shorts and a t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops on their feet. They were all clearly of the same family – all except for one. Ten year old Sally Dunstan obviously did not belong with the rest. Her pale white skin, blue eyes, blond hair and slender form made her stand out like a beacon amongst the others. She was like a single dove in the middle of a flock of pigeons. The chaos and noise around the minivan decreased as one by one each of the crowd wrapped Sally in a warm embrace, kissed her, made some sort of personal farewell and then climbed back into the van. Soon the only ones left standing outside were Sally, her best friend Mona Puretti, and Mona's father who had stood patiently amongst the chaos – all the while holding Sally's bright pink travel bag in one large and meaty paw. The three of them made their way up the path to the front door of the third house from the end, where Sally pressed the button. Chimes sounded somewhere deep inside the house. Sally and Mona hugged and kissed again just as the door opened. In the doorway stood an older, taller, more formally dressed version of Sally. "Hi Mum," said Sally. "I'm home." She then turned to Mr Puretti. "Thanks again for having me, Mr Puretti. I had such an awesome time." Sally wrapped her arms around Mr Puretti and gave him one last hug – a hug which was returned in full. "You are most welcome," said Mr Puretti as he broke from the hug. He kissed both of her cheeks. Then he handed Sally her bag and stepped back. "We'd love to have you again sometime." Mrs Dunstan had watched all of the hugging and kissing with a slightly confused expression on her face. "I hope Sally wasn't any trouble," Mrs Dunstan said to Mr Puretti "She was quite delightful. I'm already looking forward to her visiting with us again," came the response. Mr Puretti turned to Sally. "Well, ciao! Don't forget our deal." "See you at school," said Mona. "Call me sometime. Ciao!" "Ciao!" said Sally, with a giggle. Mr Puretti put his arm around his daughter and led her back to the van. Sally stood on the doorstep and waved as the van started up with another puff of smoke and another toot of its horn. Soon enough the van was driving away down the road with what looked like a dozen waving hands barely visible through its grimy windows. Sally waved until the van was out of sight and then turned to her mother. "I had such an awesome time. You wouldn't believe how much fun I've had." "Well, come inside then. You're letting the cool air out," said Sally's mother. She stepped out of the way so that Sally could come into the house. "Are you hungry? Dinner won't be for another hour." "I'll be fine until then, Mum. I could do with a drink though. It was hot in that van." "You know where the kitchen is. There's water in the tap and there's juice in the fridge. I'll need you to set the table for dinner. Off you go, then." Sally's mother stood still and watched as Sally grinned cheerfully. "Hey, Mum. Check this out!" Sally lifted up the front of her shirt to reveal that her skin was decorated with a string of flowers that looped around her belly-button and then trailed its way up towards the centre of her chest. "Well! Goodness!" she said – for want of anything better to say. "Is that a tattoo?" "No, Mum. It's just temporary – it's drawn on with ink. It will probably only last a couple of days." "Why would anybody go to so much trouble to do something like that if it's only going to last such a short time?" Sally shrugged. "Mona's Auntie is an artist. She likes doing stuff like this. Half the fun of it is because it's temporary." "But it's under your shirt. Nobody is going to see it." Sally laughed and pulled her shirt back down. "They will if I don't wear a shirt!" said Sally. Then she started lugging her bag two-handed down the hallway. "But..." Mrs Dunstan stopped herself when she realised that Sally had finished the conversation. "Dinner's ready in an hour!" Mrs Dunstan called out to her rapidly disappearing daughter. Mrs Dunstan stared down the hallway after Sally for some time. Then she sighed and shook her head. She used her foot to straighten the doormat which Sally had somehow managed to shift out of place and went back to the front room where she resumed reading her magazine. ------- Sally dropped her bag in the entrance to the spotless kitchen. She went over to the counter and climbed onto it so she could reach the high cupboard where the glasses were stored. She took out a glass, jumped down off the counter and filled her glass at the tap. She tilted the glass and drank the entire contents in one long, continuous series of gulps. When she finished, she stood for a moment with her eyes closed and held the cold but empty glass against her sticky forehead. "Aaah! That's better!" she said to the empty kitchen. Sally took the glass over to the dishwasher and placed it inside. Then she opened the door of the cupboard below the sink, took out a cloth that was hanging there and carefully wiped away splashes of water from around the sink. She then hung the cloth back in its place below the sink and closed the cupboard door. Thirst quenched – at least for the moment – Sally retrieved her bag from the doorway and lugged it down the hallway. ------- Sally pushed the door of the study open and stood in the doorway. "Hey Daddy! I'm home!" Mr Dunstan pushed his glasses up his nose and looked through them at his daughter. "So I see." "I had a great time, Daddy," said Sally. "I'm pleased to hear it. Are you well? Are you injured? Do you still have all your fingers?" "Yes, Daddy. See?" Sally held up both hands and wiggled her fingers. "I got a cut on my leg but Mrs Puretti put a band-aid on it. See?" Sally lifted her leg and twisted so she could show her dad the brightly coloured band-aid on the side of her shin. "What the dickens is that?" "It's a Donald Duck band-aid. She had all different sorts of Disney band-aids for the little kids. She had normal ones too, but I thought this was more fun." "Ah! So is this cut serious? Do you need to see a doctor?" Sally giggled. "I shouldn't think so, Daddy. If my leg drops off, I'll let you know and you can take me to a doctor then. Okay?" Mr Dunstan adjusted his glasses again. "The point is to see the doctor before your leg falls off. Preventative maintenance is important. It's always cheaper to maintain something properly than it is to repair it once it's broken. I'm quite sure that the same principle holds true for healthcare." Sally giggled again. "Yes, Daddy. I'll remember that. I'm going to my room to unpack my bag. Talk to you later. Bye Daddy!" Sally used both hands to pick up her bag. "Oof! Mum was right, Daddy. I packed way too much stuff." "It sounds like you've learnt a valuable lesson. Perhaps, next time you'll listen to your mother." "I always listen to my mother. I just don't always do what she says." "Ah! The difference is significant." "By the way. Mum said that dinner would be ready in an hour. We're having fried lizard brains on toast." Mr Dunstan blinked at his daughter a couple of times. "Well! That will be something different. I'll see you at dinner, then." "Okay, Daddy. See ya later!" Mr Dunstan stared at the empty doorway for a moment and then shook his head and turned back to his desk so that he could resume working. ------- Sally used her bum to push her bedroom door closed behind her and dropped her bag on the floor. She looked around the room. It was exactly the way she had left it a week before. Everything was in its place. The entire room was neat and tidy and spotlessly clean. Not a thing was out of place. It was the way her Mum wanted it. It was what Sally was used to. But after a week of living with the organised chaos that was the Puretti household, Sally was seeing her room with fresh eyes. Sally wondered what her room would look like if it was messy. She tilted her head to one side and pursed her lips while she thought about it. Then she picked up her bag, up-ended it, and then she swung the bag so its contents flew out and spread all over the floor. She stepped back and looked around. No! She decided that she definitely liked it better when her room was tidy. But she figured she was fortunate to have a room so big and to have so much closet space that she could keep everything put away without her belongings spilling out into the room and piling up in the corners. Sally spent the next five minutes picking up the mess she had made. All of the clothes went into the laundry basket concealed neatly behind her closet door. Her hair brush went into its place in the top drawer of her dresser. Her little toilet-bag with her tooth-brush and shampoo and deodorant and so forth went into the cupboard in the bathroom. The couple of books she had taken returned to their places in the bookshelf – filed alphabetically by author – and her shoes went into their special pockets on the side wall of her closet. Even her travel bag had a place up high on the top shelf of her closet – she had to climb up the shelves to put that away. Five minutes later she stood back and looked around the room. It was back to its usual tidy condition. Anybody looking into the room wouldn't be able to tell she'd been there. She was quite pleased. That was the way it was supposed to be. Sally went into the attached bathroom and ran the bath. Then she went back into her bedroom, removed the clothes she was wearing and added them to the laundry basket. A moment later she was sighing in relief as she sank into the bath. A short time later, Sally returned to her bedroom wearing nothing but a smile. She carried a towel in her hand which she carefully laid down on the seat in front of her dresser before sitting down. She took a comb from the top drawer of her dresser and ran it through her still-damp hair. Sally returned the comb to its place and stood up, picking up the towel she'd been sitting on. Sally went to her desk, laid out the towel again and sat down. From the bookshelf above her desk, she pulled out an exercise book and set it on the desk in front of her. From the desk drawer she took a ruler and several different coloured pens. She put the ruler down parallel to the edge of the desk and lined up the pens above the ruler. Opening the book, she quickly flipped through to the last used page. She quickly read the title, which read: Experiment 35 and then turned to the next page – which was blank. Then with her ruler and her red pen she carefully ruled a margin exactly 2.5cm in from the side of the page. Swapping between black, green and blue pens to distinguish between different sections, she started to write in her careful, primary-school-neat cursive script. Experiment 36 Hypothesis: Mr and Mrs Dunstan (aka Sally's parents) are aliens. Aim: (a) To gather more evidence for or against the hypothesis and (b) To help Mr and Mrs Dunstan (aka Sally's parents) act more like humans. Note: Part b is considered valuable regardless of whether the hypothesis is true or false. Method: Add one Sally. Stir vigorously. Observe. Sally stopped writing and held her pen loosely between her fingers – letting the pen tap repeatedly against the desk. She bit her lip nervously and then started writing again. Note 1: Sally should be all that she can be. Note 2: For maximum effect, Sally should be naked. Note 3: Sticking to both Note 1 and Note 2 at the same time is expected to be difficuld. Sally put her pen back down next to the ruler and read back through what she had written. She tsked to herself in annoyance when she read the last sentence. Carefully, she corrected her spelling of the word "difficult" and then sat back with a satisfied nod. Sally closed the book and filed it back in its place on her bookshelf. She then returned her ruler and pens to their places in the desk drawer. She stood and walked over to her closet and opened the door. The inside of the closet door had a full length mirror attached to it. Sally used the mirror to look herself carefully up and down. She took a moment to admire the floral pattern that trailed around her stomach and up onto her chest. She decided it really was quite pretty. And the colours seemed to go nicely with the colour of her eyes and her hair. She thought that Mona's auntie had done a really good job. Sally held her hands down at her sides and shook her fingers. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She did that again. "Come on, Sally," she said quietly to her naked reflection. "You can do this. Be all that you can be." Sally flipped her hair back over her shoulders and strode to the door. She turned and cast one last critical glance around the room. Satisfied that the appearance of her room met her usual standards she spun and walked out through the door – as naked as the day she was born. ------- Sally pushed the door of the study open and stood in the doorway. "Hey Daddy!" "Mmm!" came the response. Sally's father was in the middle of a complex calculation and didn't even spare his daughter a glance. Sally giggled. "I'm just going to get some juice from the kitchen. Would you like some?" "That would be lovely, Sally. Thank you." "'Kay then. Back in a tick." Sally spun on the spot and skipped away down the hallway, just as her father turned to look at her. He had a brief impression of flying hair and a pink back. He blinked twice and then shook his head. He took his glasses off and polished them. Very quickly he returned to his work. ------- Sally whistled tunelessly as she skipped into the kitchen. She climbed up onto the counter so that she could reach the high cupboard where the glasses were stored. Just as she had a glass in each hand, she heard a gasp from behind her. "Sally! What are you doing?" asked her mother. Sally giggled. "I'm just getting glasses to pour some juice. I told you before that I was thirsty." Sally carefully placed the two glasses in a row on the counter. "But where are your clothes?" "Oh! That!" Sally jumped down from the counter. "My clothes are in my room. Some of them are in the laundry basket, the rest are in the closet." "Well you should probably go and put some of them on. What would your father say if he saw you like that?" Sally shrugged. "I was just talking to Daddy. He didn't say anything about that. He didn't even say anything about my flowers. He said he'd like some juice. That's why there are two glasses." Mrs Dunstan opened her mouth and then closed it again. Sally went to the fridge and took out the carton of juice. "So what's for dinner tonight, Mum?" "Oh! After such a hot day, I didn't want to cook. We'll just have some cold cuts of roast lamb and some fresh salad. I made a mint sauce for the lamb." "Awesome!" Sally giggled and started to pour. "I told Daddy we were having fried lizard brains." "Why would you say that?" "I didn't know what we were having so I made a guess. Looks like I guessed wrong, huh?" "Well, goodness!" Sally was thinking to herself that her mother had absolutely no sense of humour whatsoever. She decided to count that as evidence that her mother wasn't human. Sally put the juice back in the fridge and closed the door. "Ooh!" she said. Sally opened the fridge door and then closed it again. "That's the most awesome feeling. You should try this, Mum." "Try what?" "Take off your clothes and stand in front of the fridge. When you close the door it makes a cold wind. It's the most awesome feeling. It's just the most perfect thing to do on a hot day." "Well, I..." "You should give it a try, Mum. See ya later!" Sally picked up the two glasses of juice and walked carefully out of the kitchen – taking extra care to walk smoothly so the juice wouldn't spill. "Er..." said Mrs Dunstan. Then she realised she was talking to an empty room and stopped talking. She sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. "Well!" she said to the empty room. "Goodness!" ------- The study door was still open after Sally's last visit so it was easy for her to walk into the room. She was still walking extra carefully so as not to spill the juice she was carrying. "I brought you juice, Daddy!" she called out. "Where should I put it down?" "Hrrumph!" An arm waved and pointed at a clear spot on the desk. "Daddy!" called Sally as sharply as she could. "You need to take a break from your work and drink your juice. If you don't watch what you're doing, you'll spill it and all your papers will be ruined." Mr Dunstan cleared his throat and turned – pushing his glasses up his nose so that he could see beyond the paperwork. "I do know how to drink ... wha???" Mr Dunstan's eyes went wide – an action exaggerated by the magnification of his glasses so that from Sally's point of view they nearly popped out of his head. "Uh ... uh! Sally! What happened to your clothes?" "The clothes I was wearing were grotty after the long ride in the van so I took them off and put them in the hamper to be washed. The rest of my clothes are still in my closet. Nothing happened to them." Sally shrugged and smiled at her father – as if she was doing the most normal thing in the world. "But ... but ... uh! You should probably go and put something on. What would your mother say if she saw you like that?" Sally shrugged. "I was just talking to Mum in the kitchen. She didn't seem to mind too much. We talked about what we'll be having for dinner. Turns out we aren't having fried lizard brains after all. I guess I was wrong about that." "Oh? Er ... um! Well! I suppose we should be thankful for small mercies. What's that on your front?" "Oh, this? It's kind of like a rash, isn't it? It just appeared on my skin while I was lying out on the grass. Mrs Puretti said it happens to her family a lot – mostly when they're staying at the cabin. She said it should fade away in a couple of days." "It looks a lot like flowers." "Yes, it does, doesn't it? Isn't that weird?" "Quite!" Sally had figured out a long time ago that her father took everything she said as true, regardless of how outrageous it was. She couldn't decide if that was his idea of being funny or if he really believed everything she said. She didn't know whether that should count for or against her hypothesis. She shrugged to herself and decided to look for more evidence. Sally sipped from her juice and put it down on the desk in one of the few small spaces clear of papers. She pulled a second chair up to the desk next to her fathers and sat on it. "So Daddy! What'cha doin?" "Are you really going to sit in here and talk to me while you're dressed like that?" "Sure! It's way cooler than wearing stuffy clothes. You should try it, Daddy. You'll feel so much better." "Er! I don't think I'm supposed to do that." "Oh! Okay then, forget about that idea. I want to know what you're doing." "I'm doing my job – surely that should be obvious." "Yes, but what is that? I don't really know what you do." "I'm a stock analyst – I'm sure I've told you that before." "Yes, you have. But I don't really know what that means. What does a stock analyst do?" Mr Dunstan turned and frowned at his desk as if he hoped the answer would be there. "I look at the financial information about different companies. Then I make recommendations about whether my customers should buy or sell shares in those companies." "Huh! So! Is it fun?" "What?" "Is it fun? Do you enjoy doing that?" Sally's father looked confused. "It's my job!" "Yeah but ... oh ... never mind. What company are you looking at right now?" "Telstra. It's the biggest phone company in Australia." "Really? I've heard of Telstra. So what does that graph tell you?" Sally pointed at the computer screen. "That is showing me the debt to equity ratio for Telstra over the last two years." "What is the debt to equity ratio?" Sally listened carefully while her father explained what he was doing – or at least, tried to explain what he was doing. She only understood about half of the explanation but she didn't let that worry her. More importantly, it was the first time she'd ever gotten her father to talk about his work and she was enjoying it. She figured she was on a roll and wanted to keep her father talking. Each time he wound down, she would pick something out of what he'd just been saying and ask another question about it. If she couldn't think of anything else, she would pick one of the documents scattered around the desk and ask what the document was for. Sally's father started using the computer to display graph after graph. His explanation about the graphs used so many big words that she couldn't even guess what he was saying. Sally leaned back and looked at her father's face. He seemed to be excited about what he was saying. She suspected that she was seeing her father actually happy about what he was doing. This was a good thing. Sally decided to count that as evidence for him being human with real feelings and emotions. She wondered if her being naked had anything to do with getting her father talking in this way. He never talked like this before when she was wearing clothes. At the start it had almost seemed like he was relieved to look at his work and talk about that instead of looking at her. Sally didn't really understand why he might act like that just because she was naked. Sally decided that might be evidence that he wasn't human. Sally realised with a start that her father had stopped talking and was rearranging the papers on his desk. "So Daddy. People pay you to do all this work and tell them what you find out. Is that right?" "That's about it, yes." "And mostly you sit here in the study and email your reports to the people who pay you." "That's right." "So what were you doing on your business trip this week? Were you visiting the people you send reports to?" "No. I don't need to meet them. I was visiting a few of the companies I do reviews on." "Was it a good trip? Did you find out anything useful?" "Yes, I did. The trip was very worthwhile." "That's awesome. Well! I better go and set the table. See you at dinner, Daddy!" ------- Sally danced around the dining room as she set the table. The table was a large one with seating for eight people. Mr Dunstan usually sat at one end and Mrs Dunstan sat at the other end with Sally on the middle chair of one side. Out of habit, Sally set the table exactly the same way. Sally shimmied sideways, spun and stepped as she took placemats and napkins out of their drawers and set them in the usual places. She moonwalked back from the table, then dipped and swung her head, sending her blond hair whipping around and around. Then she sashayed left and sashayed right as she made her way to the silverware drawer. Three sets of knives, forks and spoons glittered in the air as she held them above her head and moshed her way back to the table. To place the first set of items she leaned forward and held an arabesque with her back leg bent up behind her. She straightened and did a kind of breakdance sideways move to get into position for placing the second set of cutlery. This time she had more room behind her so she did a more formal arabesque, lifting her back leg straight out behind her and then up until it was pointing almost directly up – maybe ten or fifteen degrees short of making a perfectly straight line up and down between her two sets of toes. Sally had felt extra tightness in her legs as she held that pose and knew she hadn't made the perfect form that she'd been aiming for. She came down out of it with a frown on her face. "I must do more stretching," she told herself as she finished setting the table. "I really didn't do any proper stretching at all for the entire week I was with Mona and her family." When Sally finished, she stepped back and looked at the table. With Mona's family, everybody had been crowded together on benches around their table. There had been so much conversation that she couldn't keep track of everything that was being said. Meal times had actually been fun instead of just being a time to eat food. The whole experience had been a revelation to Sally. She tilted her head to one side and looked at the table. She was trying to think how she could get her parents talking during dinner. "I know!" she exclaimed. Quickly, Sally dashed around the table and moved all of the place settings. In a very short amount of time, she'd reset the table so that all three settings were grouped around one end of the table. "That should help," she announced. She went back to the cabinet and took out crystal tumblers and set one at each place. Then she took out two of the good crystal wine glasses and placed them where she wanted her parents to sit. "Wine might help even more!" Sally placed an extra mat on the table and took one of the carafes out of the cupboard. Then she walked into the kitchen to fill the carafe. Her mother was there, setting out plates ready to serve up dinner. "Wait on, Mum," said Sally. "Don't use those plates." Sally put the carafe down on the bench and raced back into the dining room. She took three of the good china plates out of the cupboard and took them back to the kitchen. Mrs Dunstan frowned at the sight of them. "The china plates are only for special occasions." "This is a special occasion, Mum. You are welcoming me home after my week away." "Oh! I didn't think of that. I suppose it is a special occasion, isn't it? Do you think we should dress up properly?" "I don't mind what you wear, Mum. You can stay like you are, or get all dressed up. I don't care about that. You could even wear nothing at all and we could all have dinner in the nude." Sally giggled. "After all, that's what I'll be doing." Sally did a pirouette on the spot and finished it with a flourish of her arms. "Oh! Well! Goodness! I would have thought it would be proper to be dressed for dinner. Don't you?" "I am dressed for dinner, Mum. I'm wearing a suit – my birthday suit. This is my party after all, and I should be allowed to dress the way I want to. And this is the way I want to dress." Sally picked up the carafe and filled it with water from the tap, completely ignoring the confused expression on her mother's face. She went to the fridge and took out a tray of ice-cubes – half of which she added to the water. Then she put the filled carafe into the fridge. Sally opened the pantry door and took a random bottle from the wine rack. "What about wine, Mum? Is this okay?" Sally asked as she held up the bottle. "Well! I'm sure it'll be fine. Did you take it from the left end? I always take the one from the left and move the rest along one place. There are supposed to be rules for what type of wine to drink with different meals but my parents didn't drink wine so I never learnt them. Put the bottle in the fridge, Sally. In the hot weather, having the wine a bit chilled seems to make it better." Mrs Dunstan lined up the three china plates along the counter ready to serve out dinner. She looked down at her clothes and back at the plates. "This doesn't feel right, Sally. I should be dressed up properly to be eating off these plates. Can you wait ten minutes and then serve it all out? All the bits are in the fridge." "Sure, Mum," said Sally. "Don't worry about this. I'll have it ready when you come back." Sally watched her mother hurry out of the room and tried to decide if the way her mother had been acting was evidence of her being an alien. ------- Mrs Dunstan knocked on the study door. "George, can you leave that now? It's time to get ready for dinner." Mr Dunstan saved the file he was working on and stood up from the computer. "I'm ready." "No you aren't. Come with me to the bedroom. You need to put your tux on." "Are we going out? There's nothing in our diary about going out." "No, we aren't going out. We're having a special dinner to welcome Sally back." "Oh! That wasn't in the diary, either." "I know that, George, but we're doing it anyway." "Oh!" Mr Dunstan frowned at the lack of proper notification, but decided not to argue about it. The master bedroom was as neat and clean and organised as every other room in the house. The two Dunstans entered and immediately opened their closets. Mrs Dunstan reached into the section where she stored her more formal dresses and pulled out the one on the left. It was a green velvet that didn't quite suit her blue eyes and blond hair but since nobody had ever told her that, she didn't know. It had looked nice on the store mannequin so she'd found one that was her size and bought it. On the other side of the room, Mr Dunstan didn't have a choice to make since he only had the one tux. He took it out and started changing clothes. "Melody, is Sally behaving a bit strangely?" asked Mr Dunstan – without turning to look at his wife. "Well! She's never run around the house without clothes before. That's certainly different. Is it strange?" said Mrs Dunstan. "I don't know. It felt very unusual talking to her. I'm not used to talking to naked people," said Mr Dunstan. "She sat in my study and wanted to talk to me and all I could do was look at my desk and talk about my analysis work." "Perhaps you should have told her to go and get dressed." "She didn't seem to want to. And since you apparently didn't mind, I didn't want to make a scene." "Oh! Well! It's not that I didn't mind," said Mrs Dunstan. "I just didn't know what to say. I never know what to say to Sally when she gets in one of these moods. I just don't understand her." "I don't even understand you," said Mr Dunstan, "and Sally's more complicated than you." Mr Dunstan frowned down at the belt he was in the process of doing up as he tried to decide whether or not he'd just insulted his wife. "Yes. She is complicated, isn't she?" said Mrs Dunstan. Mr Dunstan sighed quietly in relief. Mrs Dunstan sighed and twisted her arm behind her back to zip up her dress. She wriggled it to settle it into place and tugged at the waist to straighten it. She sat down at her dresser and started arranging her hair into a loose bun. "Did you see that she has this thing on her front?" said Mr Dunstan. "Yes, I saw it," said Mrs Dunstan. "Don't worry. It's not permanent. Apparently it will fade away in a couple of days." "Well, good," said Mr Dunstan. "I think I'd be concerned if it was permanent." The two of them spent the rest of the time preparing for dinner in a thoughtful silence. "Well, George? Do I look presentable?" "You look very nice, Melody. Very nice." Mr Dunstan held out his arm and Mrs Dunstan hooked her arm through it as they left the bedroom. "Melody, will you talk to Sally about this nudity thing?" "I think you should talk to her." "I can't. Maybe it would be better if you did." "I told you. I don't know what to say." "You could say that it isn't proper for her father to be looking at her when she's naked." "Oh! I'll try saying that, then." ------- In the meantime, Sally had found a CD with soft guitar music. She'd set up her portable CD player in the dining room and had the guitar music CD on continuous play with the volume down low. She'd also gone into the front room and moved the furniture back against the walls and picked out a couple of CDs she wanted to play after dinner. Sally had also taken the time to put a nice ribbon in her hair as her one concession to dressing up for dinner. For the rest, she figured her birthday suit was perfect for the occasion. Sally saw her parents walking down the hallway towards the dining room and whistled softly. "Wow! You two look really nice. I dressed up too. See? Do you like my ribbon? Well, let's go into the dining room. I have dinner all served up and ready. She ushered her parents into the dining room and sat them so that they were facing each other and she was sitting on the end of the table and between them. The food was already sitting on the plates and set out in front of each of them. "Why aren't we sitting in our normal places?" asked Sally's father. "The other end of the table has been closed for maintenance," said Sally. "Oh!" said her father and sat in the place Sally had indicated for him. "Maintenance is important." He looked around the room, realising that he'd never seen it from this angle before. It looked familiar but different. He didn't particularly enjoy changes but he decided this was one he could manage. "Well, this is nice, isn't it?" said Sally with a big smile. "Oh! Wait! I nearly forgot." She bounced out of her chair and took the wine bottle out of its holder. She went up to beside her father and carefully tilted the bottle to pour wine into his glass – her lips pressed tightly together as she concentrated. She missed a bit and dribbled some onto the table but once she got going, she managed very well. She put down the bottle and ran for a spare napkin which she used to wipe up the spill – muttering to herself in annoyance at having made a mess. Then she took the bottle and trotted around to stand beside her mother and poured wine for her. This time she managed without spilling any. Finally, she put the bottle back in its holder and poured water from the now-chilled carafe for herself. All the while, her parents sat in all of their finery and watched their naked daughter dashing around and serving them. Neither of them said a word. Sally sat down at the head of the table and reached out a hand to each of her parents. "Mum, Dad, take my hand." "Why?" asked her mother. "Just hold my hand. I want to say something and it's better if I say it when we're holding hands." Unsure, but unwilling to make a scene, they both clasped hands with Sally. "I just want to say thanks for coming to my welcome home party," said Sally. "I had a really good time with the Purettis but I missed being here with you and I'm glad to be back home." "Well!" said her mother. "That's nice," said her father. "Tonight," said Sally, "the fried lizard brains are off the menu. Instead, we are going to have cold cuts of roast lamb with salad and mint sauce, followed by icecream sprinkled with nuts and topped off with chocolate sauce. Afterwards, we will have dancing in the front room and we will finish with coffee for you and hot chocolate for me while we have some pleasant conversation before bed. Any objections?" "Er!" said her mother. "That sounds very organised," said her father. "It's important to have a plan," said Sally. "You taught me that, Daddy." "I did?" "Absolutely. You have a plan for everything. It seemed like a good thing for me to learn. Now, let's eat before the food gets cold." "It is cold," said her mother. "It's supposed to be cold." "Well, good then," said Sally and picked up her knife and fork. "Let's eat before it gets colder." The usual silence descended as all three began eating. Unfortunately, silence wasn't part of Sally's plan. She wanted talking. But she was hungry and wanted to eat. She swallowed her current mouthful of lamb and pointed her knife at her mother. "Daddy told me about his business trip, but I haven't heard about how yours went. How did you go at that conference?" "Oh!" said her mother and hastily swallowed the food she had just put in her mouth. "Can't this wait until after dinner? Dinner time is for eating." "This isn't a proper dinner time, Mum. It's a party. People talk and eat at the same time during a party. So tell me about your conference." "Oh!" said her mother. "That's right, I'd forgotten this was a party." She thought for a moment. "I don't particularly enjoy conferences – all the crowds bother me. But it's in my job description to attend a minimum of one every two years and my boss found out I hadn't been to one for more than five years. Quite frankly, I'd rather stay in my little office every day than staying in a strange hotel in a strange city and talking to strange people." "Adelaide isn't that strange, is it?" said Sally. "Mrs Puretti said they have some nice churches. Did you go and visit any churches?" "Well, no. You know I'm not very religious." "That's not the point, Mum. The churches are interesting to go into because of the nice architecture and the stained-glass windows and the paintings and statues and everything." "Oh! Well, no! I didn't go and visit any churches. I didn't visit anywhere, really – just the conference and my hotel." By this time Sally had taken the edge off her hunger and was willing to spend more time talking. "Well," said Sally, "I guess I should tell you about my week with the Purettis. They were all really nice to me and made me welcome. Then, on the first evening, I found out that they were nudists. They would normally have been running around completely naked for the whole week but they were going to wear clothes for the entire time because of me being with them." "Well!" said Sally's mother. "Nudists? Goodness!" "That's exactly what I thought!" said Sally. "Then I got upset. I mean, I didn't see why they should have to change their normal life because of me. So I took off my clothes and told them all they could be naked too." "You did?" said Mrs Dunstan. "Oh!" "What did the Purettis say when you did that?" asked Mr Dunstan. "Mr Puretti said we shouldn't do that, because they needed permission from you. So I told him not to worry because my family are nudists, too." "What?" said Sally's father. "You told them we are nudists?" "Why did you say that?" said Sally's mother. "Goodness gracious!" Sally grinned. "Don't worry. They pretty quickly figured out that I was telling fibs. When I told them we were nudists, they all laughed and took their clothes off. The kids, the parents, the grandparents, everybody was nude in less than a minute. Suddenly everybody was a whole lot more relaxed than before. Except for me, that is. I was sitting there, with my mouth open, staring." "Why were you staring?" asked Sally's mother. "It turns out that boys have penises." Sally tilted her head to one side and thought about what she'd just said. "Well, I mean, I kinda knew that boys had penises but I hadn't really thought about that when I told them we were nudists. Did you know I'd never seen a penis before this week? It's kind of hard to pretend you're used to being a nudist when you've never seen a penis before. I was kind of embarrassed." "Well!" said Sally's mother. "What happened then?" asked her father. "The Purettis shouldn't have done that. Got undressed in front of you, I mean, and shown you their penises. I think it's against the rules." "I found that out. Mr Puretti was pretty cross with me," said Sally. "So he made me phone and get permission to be nude. So I did and Daddy gave permission." "No I didn't" "Do you remember talking to me on the phone this week?" "You called me on the Monday night," said her father, remembering. "That's right." "You told me that you'd gotten upset and taken all of your clothes off and that now the whole Puretti family was running around without their clothes on." "That's right," said Sally, "and you said that was interesting and told me not to get sunburnt and asked if I'd managed to help cook dinner without chopping any fingers off." "It seemed a suitable response at the time," said Mr Dunstan. "I didn't know what else to say." "That's what I figured," said Sally with a big grin. "So I put Mr Puretti onto the phone to talk to you." "He didn't say anything about being nude. He said the family were naturists and he asked if I minded if you joined them." "I heard him. And what did you say?" "I told him that I expected you to join in all the family activities and to follow the family rules." "Daddy! What do you think a naturist does?" "Aren't they the ones that want to save the trees and save the whales and all of that? I figured he wanted you to hold up signs outside a wood-chipping mill or something." "No, Daddy. That would be conservationists. Naturists like to go around in the nude. Mr Puretti told you that his family were naturists and you told him you expected me to join in all the normal family activities. You basically gave permission for me to join in with being nude." "Oh!" said Sally's father. "After the phone call, I had to explain to Mr Puretti that you probably didn't understand. So we made a deal that I would find a way to explain it to you tonight so you would understand that I was serious. So that's one of the reasons why I'm sitting here in the total nude – so you would believe that I've been mostly like this for the last week. We only put our clothes on for the drive home. It took me a bit to get used to it, but after that it was fun." "Well! Goodness!" said Sally's mother. "Don't worry, Mum," said Sally. "Nothing bad happened. I didn't have sex or anything. Mrs Puretti said you might be worried about that." "Well! I suppose we should be thankful for small mercies," said Sally's mother. Sally shrugged. She didn't really get what all the fuss was about sex but it was important to the adults so she figured when she was older maybe she'd understand it better. "I didn't even see anybody having sex," said Sally. "Mrs Puretti said you might want to know that, too." Sally grinned and then blushed. "I didn't see it, but I heard plenty of it. Every afternoon, Mrs Puretti would tease Mr Puretti until he had an erection, then she would take him into the bedroom and close the door. Then they would have sex and we would sit in the living room and listen to them. A bit later they would come out with happy smiles on their faces and Mr Puretti wouldn't have his erection anymore." "Well! Goodness!" said Sally's mother. "Erections?" "How come you never told me about penises and erections, Mum? It was embarrassing how ignorant I was. My friend, Mona, had to explain everything." "Er ... I read an article that said modern children learnt all about sex from porn or from their friends behind the shelter shed. I was quite relieved when I read that. It meant I didn't have to say anything." "Oh!" Sally frowned at her mother. "Are you sure that's what the article was saying? It doesn't seem right. Besides, I go to a girls' school. I've never had any friends before Mona. And we don't have a shelter shed. I think you're supposed to tell me about it so that I don't learn the wrong stuff." "Goodness," said Sally's mother. "I wouldn't know what to say. Are you sure you wouldn't rather look at some porn or something?" "I don't think I'm allowed to look at porn, Mum. I'm only ten years old." "Well!" Sally's mother waved her hand in the air. "Your father sometimes looks at porn. Maybe he could show it to you." Mr Dunstan spluttered and choked on his food. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said. "Besides, I only looked at porn that one time when somebody emailed it to me. It seemed very – clean. I don't understand why people say porn is dirty." "That reminds me," said Sally's mother. "Your father wanted me to say something to you." Sally looked at her father and then back at her mother. "What?" asked Sally. "It's about you running around the house without clothes on. It makes your father uncomfortable." "Really?" asked Sally. She looked down at herself and then at her father. "Why?" Mr Dunstan was looking down at his empty plate. He couldn't look his daughter in the eye. "Well, you know!" said Sally's mother. "No! I don't know," said Sally. "Explain it to me." "It's what we were just talking about." "Huh?" said Sally – now totally confused. "We were talking about the Purettis." Mrs Dunstan hesitated for a moment and looked frantically at Mr Dunstan – who was no help at all. "Sex!" she blurted. "We were talking about sex. You being naked makes your father think about sex." Sally sat there with her mouth open. She spun her head around and stared at her father in total surprise. Mr Dunstan suddenly stood up and picked up his plate. He grabbed the other two plates and dropped them into a pile with a crash. By some miracle, none of the plates broke. He picked up the pile and rushed out of the room towards the kitchen. "Well!" said Mrs Dunstan. "That might not have come out quite right." She stood up and hurried off towards the kitchen, chasing after her husband. Sally shook her head. "Aliens," she told herself. "Definitely aliens." Sally listened until the brief conversation in the kitchen wound down. "Ice-cream, Mum," called Sally. "We're having ice-cream with nuts and chocolate topping." ------- After a lot of quiet whispering, Sally's parents returned to the dining room carrying plates in which Sally's requested dessert had been served. The meal continued in silence. Sally was upset because her plans had fallen apart. She'd wanted happy, pleasant conversation like she'd seen in the Puretti family. Instead, people were blurting out stuff and feeling uncomfortable. And that last thing Mum had said had Sally totally confused. She thought about it and decided there were two things she didn't understand. Firstly, why did her dad think about sex because she was naked? It wasn't as if she had boobs or anything. Nobody could mistake her for an adult. Sex was for adults. Mr Puretti obviously saw his children all the time without thinking of sex. So why was her father any different? Was that because he was an alien or for some other reason? Secondly, why did her dad feel uncomfortable thinking about sex? As far as Sally knew, sex was supposed to be a happy, nice thing to do. It shouldn't make anybody feel bad. Sally spooned some more ice-cream into her mouth and let the chill seep into her tongue for a moment before swallowing. She looked back and forth between her parents. They had both reverted to their normal meal-time silence. Sally decided that talking about sex was better than not talking. Her entire knowledge of sex was based on Mona telling her everything she knew over the last week. "I have a theory," announced Sally. "How long is it since you two did sex?" "Er..." said her mother. "What?" said her father. "Goodness!" said her mother. "That's what I thought," said Sally – nodding as if they had answered her question. "Surely that is something that should be private?" said Mrs Dunstan. "See, I found out this week that sex is messy," said Sally. "There's all sorts of fluids that get smeared around and people get sweaty and the bed gets rumpled and all of that." "Goodness!" said her mother. "I thought you said you didn't see anybody having sex," said her father. "I didn't. But I saw their sheets after it was over – and they ended up all messy and stained. And I asked questions. That's how I know you two don't have sex. I've been helping Mrs Plower do the washing and I've never seen your sheets looking like that." "Why are you helping Mrs Plower do the washing?" asked Sally's mother. "She's only in two times each week. It isn't enough to get the whole house properly cleaned," said Sally. She frowned down at her plate. "I like the house to be properly clean so I help her." Sally looked up and smiled at her parents. "But anyway, here's my theory. You both hate mess. Mrs Plower says you both have a phobia about it and I've learnt it from you. Somehow or other you found each other and got married. You tried sex on your wedding night because it was expected but you both found it to be messy and maybe it wasn't as much fun as people told you it would be so you both just kind of stopped. Then Mum, you found out you were pregnant with me and after I was born you never really started up again." Sally held up her hand with fingers curled down. "My evidence for this theory is the following." She held up one finger. "One – I was born exactly nine months after your wedding." She held up a second finger. "Two – as far as I can tell, you don't use any form of birth control. Mona told me some stuff about birth control and I haven't seen anything like that around here." She held up a third finger. "Three – I have a noticeable lack of any younger siblings. Mona said that's why her family is so big – because her parents have a lot of sex." She held up a fourth finger. "And four – your sheets are never messy." Sally spread her hands in a question. "So, my question for you is simple. How good is my theory? Exactly how often do you have sex?" "Well! It wasn't exactly like that," said her mother. "Close enough," said her father with a bit of a frown. "I don't like sleeping on messy sheets." "Huh!" said Sally. "I thought so." "I read an article in a magazine that said women often don't want to have sex after having a baby," said Sally's mother. Sally looked at her mother. "It's been ten years. I suspect they didn't mean that long." Mrs Dunstan frowned. "You were a very messy baby. I couldn't go through that again. Neither could your father. He had an operation so I wouldn't get pregnant again." Sally tilted her head to one side? "Huh?" "Your mother had hysterics when her waters broke and it went all down her legs," said Mr Dunstan. "And after you were born, it was years before you stopped oozing fluids uncontrollably from every opening in your body." "Is that why you hired a nanny to look after me?" asked Sally. "That's right," said her mother. "But she had one day off each week. On Sundays, we had to clean up your messes ourselves. It was very distressing." "Huh!" Sally didn't know how to react to that. She thought about what Mona had said about the kind of messes that babies made and shuddered. Sally decided she probably would have found it distressing too. "We were both very relieved when you learnt to use the toilet properly by yourself," said Mr Dunstan. "And bathe yourself," said Mrs Dunstan. "And wipe your own nose," added Mr Dunstan. "Huh!" said Sally. "I'm sorry I was so messy." "Anyway," said Sally's mother. "The point is we do have sex occasionally. Your father sometimes gets these urges. But we try not to get too carried away. It keeps the mess down." "Oh!" said Sally. She frowned to herself. Sally decided that her new knowledge about sex wasn't as complete as she had thought. She tried to find something else to say. "Daddy, Mum said you looked at porn. What did you like about it?" "Er..." Sally watched with fascination as her father blushed. "I suppose the point is that pictures are clean," said her father. "There's no problem with mess because it's just an image on the computer screen." "Oh!" Sally wished she knew how to respond to that but now she was completely out of ideas. She looked down at her bowl and saw that it was empty. "Now this was nice, wasn't it?" said Sally. "We got all dressed up and had a nice meal and a lovely conversation about stuff that's important." "Er..." said her father. "We should do this again. Don't you think?" said Sally. "But right now, dinner is over so it's time for dancing. I have the front room all set up." Sally bustled around and collected the empty plates. She took them through to the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. While she did that, her parents put away the placemats and wiped the table down. Sally told her parents to bring their wine glasses with them to the front room and picked up the wine bottle in its holder. "Do you two know how to do a waltz?" asked Sally. "Well, yes! We had to learn for our wedding," said Sally's mother. "We've been to a few functions with dancing since then, so I think we should be able to manage," said her father. Sally picked up a CD and put it into the player. "In that case, Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your partners for our first dance." Soon Mr and Mrs Dunstan were sweeping around the cleared floor in a waltz. They were certainly not professional standard, but they were clearly doing the right thing. Sally thought they were both a bit stiff and she had to tell them a few times to relax and enjoy the dance. They both had a serious expression on their faces as they concentrated on what they were doing. Sally's naked form spun around them in an improvised ballet put together from all the moves she'd learnt in her ballet lessons. The evening continued like this for some time with Sally controlling the music and dancing solo while her parents danced together. At one stage, they announced they were ready for a rest. Sally directed them to sit together on the sofa and sip their wine while she performed her solo piece from her last recital. Sally found that she quite enjoyed dancing in the nude. Not having her leotard pressing against her skin was very nice. And feeling the air against her skin as she moved was very pleasant. Sally wished she could do all of her dance lessons in the nude but she suspected that old Mrs Crankston wouldn't let her do that. Once they had rested, Sally taught her parents a few line dances she'd learned in her Modern Dance class like the Nutbush, and the Macarena and the Chicken Dance. During the Chicken Dance, Sally clucked and strutted and flapped into the kitchen and flipped the coffee machine on – she had set it up earlier so it immediately started gurgling to itself. She then clucked and strutted and flapped back to the front room to rejoin her parents. Eventually it came time to wrap up the dancing. Sally took her parents through to the kitchen and got her dad to sit in the breakfast corner while her mum poured the coffee and made some strawberry flavoured milk for her. Sally went and sat on the chair next to her dad – instead of in her usual place which was across the table from him. Once her mother sat down, Sally would be squeezed in between her parents. Once Sally's mother had served the drinks, everyone sat around the table and sipped quietly. Sally looked sideways at her two parents. "Well, this is nice, isn't it?" said Sally. "Did you two have a good time this evening?" "It's been very nice," said Sally's mother. "You had a well thought out plan," said her father. "We had the dinner and then dancing and now supper. It's all been very pleasant." "There is one more step in the plan," said Sally. "I haven't told you about it yet because I only added this step in during dinner." "It's not always a good idea to change a plan half way through," said Sally's father. "It often leads to mistakes because the changes aren't properly thought out." "Yes, but plans sometimes have to be adapted when circumstances change," said Sally, "or when new information comes to light." "That is true," said her father. "You make a good point. So what circumstances changed that made you alter the plan?" "Oh, nothing changed," said Sally. "I found out something I didn't know when I was developing my plan – that's why I changed it." "Ah!" her father nodded thoughtfully and took another sip of his coffee. "Discovering new information is another good reason to adapt a plan." Sally turned to her mother. "Changing the subject completely," said Sally. "Mum, you know how the Purettis are naturists and they go around nude all the time?" "Yes," said Sally's mother. "You explained that to us at dinner." "Well, they always have these little piles of towels everywhere. Why do you think they have all those towels?" "Er ... I simply can't imagine," said Sally's mother. "They sit on them," said Sally. "Every time they sit down, they put a towel down and sit on the towel. Why do you think they do that?" Sally's mother blinked several times as she tried to answer Sally's question. Finally she came up with an answer. "I suppose that if they were sweaty, the towels would stop the furniture from being stained." "Exactly so!" said Sally. "The towels stop all their sweat and any other mess they make from getting on the furniture." "Well, that's very ... interesting," said Sally's mother. She seemed very uncertain as to why she would need to know that little titbit of information. "If you've been looking carefully, you might have noticed that I had a towel positioned on each of the chairs I've been sitting on this evening," said Sally. "Ah!" said her mother, proudly. "It sounds like you prepared very carefully for this evening." "Well," said Sally. "I was wondering if you'd ever tried putting a towel underneath you when you have sex." "Oh!" said Sally's mother. "Goodness!" "I was thinking that a towel would help control the mess somewhat and that would maybe make the sex less – you know – messy." "Oh!" said Sally's mother. "Hmm!" said Sally's father. "That plan sounds like it has some merit. Melody, perhaps we should try that, next time we um..." His comment trailed off into silence as Sally's father realised that he was discussing plans to have sex in front of his ten year old daughter – his naked ten year old daughter. That's to say, he was discussing in front of his daughter, plans to have sex. He quickly assured himself that he wasn't discussing actually having sex in front of his daughter because that would definitely be a wrong thing to do. He scratched his head as he tried to remember if any of the rules he'd learnt had covered what to do in these circumstances. He had a vague idea that he shouldn't be discussing sex at all, but Sally kept bringing the subject up. Sadly, he concluded he didn't know what he was supposed to do. "Er," said Sally's father. "Have you finished your coffee?" asked Sally. Her father looked into the cup and saw that it was empty. "Ah, yes! I have!" he answered. "Good," said Sally. "In that case let's move on to the very last part of this evening." Sally bounded out of her chair and trotted out into the hallway. A moment later she came back carrying a folded towel. She placed the towel on the table in front of her mother. "The last part of this evening's plan," announced Sally, "is for the two of you to go to bed and have sex." "Huh?" said Sally's mother. "What?" said Sally's father. Sally did a little sigh and glared at her father. "Dad, is it true what Mum said earlier?" "Er ... she said many things earlier. Which particular comment are you referring too?" "Is it true that when you look at me while I'm naked, you think about sex?" "Oh! Er! Well! In a sense," said Sally's father. Then he stopped and looked thoughtful. "Actually, I have to say that for the large part of this evening, the answer would be no. I seem to have become somewhat used to seeing you like that." "Oh!" said Sally. Her face fell in disappointment. She looked down at her naked body and then back at her father. She thought furiously for a moment. "So, does that mean you don't have an erection?" She stepped forward and stared directly down into his lap. "It's really hard to tell when you're wearing trousers," said Sally. "It was so much easier with Mr Puretti. His erection would be right there for everyone to see." Her father shifted uneasily and folded his hands in his lap. "Um, er ... no," he said. "As a matter of fact." "Well, you can't exactly have sex if you haven't got an erection," said Sally. "Mona said that her mother said that the man has to have an erection so that it will go into the woman. And the man gets an erection when he thinks about sex." "Goodness!" said Sally's mother. "What a thing to say." Sally spun on her mother. "Was she wrong? Did I not understand or something?" "Well, I suppose it's correct," said Sally's mother. "I'm simply surprised that Mrs Puretti would say something like that to her daughter." "How else is Mona supposed to find out?" asked Sally. "Oh! I would've thought she could ask her friends." "She certainly couldn't have learnt it from me. I was totally clueless." "Oh!" "I know what!" said Sally. "I just have to be more – I just have to be more like – you know." She frowned and tried again. "Dad, I'm going to stand here in front of you and be – like – sexy and stuff. I want you to look at me and think about sex. You can tell me to stop when you've gotten an erection." Sally's father opened his mouth and then closed it again without saying anything. Sally stood there in front of her father and started twisting and swaying. She ran her hands through her hair and over her chest. To be honest she felt quite silly. She had no idea how to be sexy and she knew it. She tried to remember the things that Mrs Puretti had done to tease Mr Puretti to get him ready to have sex but a lot of that seemed to involve thrusting her breasts at him and since Sally didn't actually have breasts, that left her back at square one. "Think about sex, Daddy!" said Sally. "Look at me and think about sex." "Er," said her father as he slowly turned bright red. Then Sally remembered that a couple of times, Mrs Puretti had turned around and rubbed her hands all over her bottom – right in front of Mr Puretti. Well Sally had a bottom, so that was something she could do. She turned around and wiggled her bottom at her father and rubbed her hands all over it. "Is it working, Daddy?" she asked, looking at him over her shoulder. "Is it working? This is taking a lot more effort than I was expecting. Mr Puretti's erection would just pop right up – pretty much straight away." "Um ... er," said her father. "Oh! I forgot!" said Sally. She stopped what she was doing and looked at her father in consternation. "Mona said that her mother said that men only had enough blood in them to make their brain work or their penis work but never both at the same time. Poor Daddy's brain seems to have stopped working so maybe his penis is working." She stepped forward and grasped her father's wrists with both hands. Then she lifted her father's hands up and away so he was no longer covering his groin. She tilted her head sideways and stared down into his lap. "Hey, look at that, Mum. You really can tell that he's got an erection, can't you? Despite the trousers, it still kind of sticks out." "Er!" said Sally's father. "Mum, I think he's ready for sex. Now you take the towel and take Dad and go to bed. You can report back to me later about if the towel makes it better. I'm expecting a proper report about the experiment, okay?" "Well," said Sally's mother. "Goodness. What about the kitchen?" "Oh! Don't worry. I'll clean this up," said Sally. Mrs Dunstan picked up the towel with one hand and hooked her other arm through her husband's arm. "Come on, George," she said. "It sounds like we're going to bed." The two of them walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway. "Have fun," called Sally after them. Then she shook her head and turned back to look around the kitchen. "Aliens," she muttered. "Definitely aliens." ------- As they entered their bedroom, Mr Dunstan looked at his wife. "This reminds me of our wedding," he said – suddenly coherent again now that he was out from under the piercing gaze of his daughter. "Really? In what way?" "Don't you remember, Melody? At our wedding we had the nice dinner, and then we had the dancing, and then our parents told us to go to our room because it was time to have sex. This whole evening has been just like that – only with a few less people at the party." "I see what you mean," said Mrs Dunstan. "I wish my mother was here now." "What? Watching us get into bed?" "No! I mean I wish she was still alive. My mother would've known what to say to Sally. She keeps doing such surprising things and I never know what to say. A towel! And erections! What was I supposed to say?" "Sally said we should lay the towel out on the bed," said Mr Dunstan. "It sounds like quite a clever plan to me. Let me help you." ------- Sally had put all the dishes and cups into the dishwasher. She measured out the dishwashing powder, making sure to fill the little plastic cup exactly half full, and then carefully poured it into the receptacle on the door of the dishwasher. She closed the door and started the dishwasher, nodding to herself as it quietly started humming. Sally took a cloth from where it was hanging in the cupboard under the sink and carefully wiped down the table where they had been sitting. She rinsed out the cloth at the sink and hung it back inside the cupboard. Then she took a different cloth and wiped down the sink to remove any drips and splashes. She tilted her head sideways and looked at the sink and then at the cloth in her hand and then back at the sink. Then she hung the cloth back inside the cupboard where it belonged. Sally went to the laundry and climbed up onto the clothes washer so that she could reach the high shelf in the cupboard. She took out a fresh cleaning cloth from the packet that was stored there and climbed down again. She opened another cupboard at floor level and took out two small plastic basins. She took one of them to the tap and poured in some hot water, then mixed in a little cold water until she was satisfied. Sally picked up a clean towel and draped it over her shoulder. Then she dropped the fresh cleaning cloth into the water and carried both basins carefully out of the laundry and down the hallway. She stopped outside the closed door of her parents' room and placed both basins on the floor. Then she put her ear up against the door. Sally frowned. She couldn't hear anything from inside the room. After a week with the Purettis, she had a very good idea what sex should sound like and she couldn't hear anything like it – no yelling or swearing or loud groans or slaps or anything. She started to worry that her parents had decided not to have sex after all. Carefully, Sally turned the doorknob. Then she slowly and silently pushed the door open by just a fraction. Then she listened again. Now Sally could hear some heavy breathing and the faint sound of repetitive movements in the bed and then she heard one very faint moan. Sally frowned at the door. She decided that maybe her parents were trying to have sex quietly though she couldn't imagine why. Sally shrugged to herself. Maybe it was an adult thing. Or maybe it was because they were aliens. Then she crossed to the other side of the hallway and sat with her back against the wall, watching the slightly open door. With the door open, she could faintly hear the sounds coming from the bedroom. She listened carefully. Quite a long time before she was expecting them to be finished, she heard a drawn out "Aaah!" sound and the movements all stopped. Then there was some rustling in the sheets and then there was a short burst of quiet whispering and then everything went quiet. Sally was puzzled. Were they finished already? She stood up and went to the door and listened very carefully. She couldn't hear anything. Sally tapped on the door and pushed it a little further open. "Mum?" she whispered. "Are you finished? May I come in?" A moment later she heard her mother whisper. "I suppose you could come in. I thought you'd gone to bed." Sally adjusted the towel over her shoulder and picked up the two basins. Then pushed the door fully open and walked in. There was some moonlight spilling through the window so she could see what she was doing. Sally's mother was half-sitting up in the bed with her back against a pile of pillows and the sheets pulled up to just below her neck. "I thought of something else," said Sally. "I'll go to bed in a moment." Sally put the basins down on the bedside table. "Did you have fun?" she asked her mother. Sally's mother looked at her blankly. "We had sex, dear. Just like you told us to." "Yes, but was it fun?" Her mother looked puzzled. "It was sex." Sally sighed. "Never mind. I brought this for you." She picked the washcloth out of the water and wrung it out, squeezing it hard to get all the water out. Then she handed it to her mother and dried her hands on the towel hanging over her shoulder. "I thought you might like to clean up any messes," whispered Sally. "Oh! What a good idea. Why didn't I think of that?" whispered her mother. "I usually get up and go to the bathroom afterwards." Sally's mother carefully reached under the sheets and did some cleaning out of Sally's sight. "Another good plan," whispered her father from the other side of the bed. "Did you bring another cloth for me?" "Oh!" whispered Sally. "I'm sorry. I only brought the one." "Never mind, we can share," said Sally's mother. Sally retrieved the cloth from her mother and rinsed it out in the basin. Then she wrung it out again and reached across to hand the cloth to her father. "So was the towel useful?" asked Sally as she dried her hands again. "Yes, quite!" said her mother. Sally waited but soon realised that her mother wasn't going to say any more. "Well, I'll take that as a brief initial report," said Sally. "What's the word? Preliminary! I'll take that as a preliminary report. I'll expect the proper report tomorrow." Sally picked up the empty basin and held it out. "This is for the towel and for the washcloth." Sally watched as her mother wriggled around under the sheets and then produced the towel that she'd been lying on. She dropped it into the basin that Sally held and then lay down in the bed. Sally's father reached across and dropped the cloth in the basin and then lay back down. "Well, goodnight then," said Sally. "See you in the morning," said Sally's mother. Sally left the room and pulled the door closed. She took the basins to the laundry and cleaned everything up. A short time later, Sally returned to her own room. She sat at her desk and took the exercise book down off her shelf. From the desk drawer she took her ruler and the different coloured pens. She put the ruler down parallel to the edge of the desk and lined up the pens above the ruler. Then she quickly flipped the exercise book open to the page she'd written on earlier. She picked up a pen and started writing in her neat, primary school handwriting. Observations The initial plan for the experiment had to be adapted several times as the situation changed. It was observed that both Mr and Mrs Dunstan (aka Sally's parents) at different times displayed both human and alien characteristics. It was observed that initially Sally's nudity caused a high level of reaction in the subjects but that the effects grew less over time. Further experiments should not rely directly on Sally's nudity for impact. It has been observed that Sally's parents reacted strongly to discussions about sex. This suggests a further avenue for experimentation. Some progress was made on the secondary aim of the experiment. Both Mr and Mrs Dunstan were observed to act more like humans on occasions during the evening. Conclusion There is insufficient data to draw a final conclusion about the main hypothesis. More experimentation will be necessary. The secondary aim of the experiment appears more important than first thought. It is recommended that Sally adopt this as a major project. Sally stopped writing and stared off into the distance. After a moment of thought, she changed pen colour and started writing again. Postscript It has occurred to Sally that if her parents are aliens, it therefore follows logically that she – being the offspring of her parents – is probably also an alien. This possibility requires more investigation. Sally carefully ruled a red line under the last sentence to indicate the end of the report. She closed the book and returned it to its place on the bookshelf. She put away her ruler and pens and went across to her closet. Habit made her take out her pyjamas but then she remembered that she had become a naturist and returned them to her closet. A moment later she turned out the light and crawled into bed. She kissed the palm of her hand and then held her hand against her cheek. "Goodnight Sally," whispered Sally. "Sleep tight!" ------- The End ------- Posted: 2012-04-06 Last Modified: 2012-04-12 / 10:06:15 pm Version: 1.20 ------- http://storiesonline.net/ -------