Two days later, Ral Zarek awoke with a start to the familiar sensation of his lab table beneath his forehead. He felt slightly more disoriented than normal, which meant he must have been running on even less sleep than usual. As he groaned and sat upright, he groped for the mug of coffee that always sat near his arm, half-filled and of varying temperature. Forcing it down, he looked blearily around. The mizzium chronometer on the wall had stopped, so he must have been diverting its power into another source. He turned dizzily, vaguely wondering why his stomach sank as he did. When he remembered, the jolt was harsher than that of the specially treated coffee hitting his system. Ral swore loudly and reached for his notes. ~ Today, Jace was beyond angry. He had managed to pass into an almost zen-like state by the time he had reached Ral’s laboratory and knocked on the door. Ral answered, looking frustratingly good for someone who obviously hadn’t shaved in several days and whose outfit was covered in chemical burns. “Ah, Guildpact, this is a pleasure!” he said brightly. “An unexpected one! What can I do for you?” “Why do I have breasts, Ral?” Jace asked, with forced calm. Ral grinned wickedly. “Is that all you have? Because I was sure—” “Why am I a woman?” Jace pressed. “I woke up with a—*as a man*, and then I opened a package from you, and suddenly—” Ral took Jace by the arm and steered him inside, shutting the door behind him. He backed Jace up against the wall, and Jace was suddenly very aware of his proximity in a slightly—different way from normal. Everything was very moist. “This is all because you’re sick of bottoming, isn’t it?” Jace asked. “You couldn’t just ask for a change of pace, you literally had to make me incapable of penetrating you?” Ral leaned forward, arms landing on either side of Jace. “Now, Guildpact,” he said softly, running his hands down Jace’s front. “That’s not the only reason.” He planted a kiss on the side of Jace’s neck. “I also happen to enjoy breasts.” Jace was trying to think of a retort, when Ral’s hand squeezed one of the—his breasts. Three different nerves that had been previously non-existent fired at once, and Jace let out a soft moan. Ral grinned. “And I enjoy experimenting,” he said. “I had better check to make sure this one was successful.” His voice dropped low as he spoke into Jace’s ear, and Jace felt his stomach flip. “What do you mean—” he started, and then Ral’s other hand slid over his outer hip and then down into his currently-not-entirely-fitting trousers. This time it felt as if about fifty unexpected nerves were firing at once. Jace clenched his legs together and whimpered. “Mmm,” Ral murmured in his ear. “Seems to have been a success. Are you enjoying that?” Jace wanted to say no, but he also didn’t want Ral to stop. He compromised with a breathless “Ghnnngh.” “Ah,” Ral breathed in his ear. “This is fun.” “I—hate—you—” gasped Jace, rubbing desperately against Ral’s hand. Heat and arousal built in the pit of his stomach. The hand went still. “So I should stop?” “N-noooo,” moaned Jace. “You’re evil.” Ral chuckled fiendishly. “Since you ask so nicely,” he said, and began moving his hand again, then bent his head and began to nibble down the side of Jace’s neck. Jace made a noise like a sob and arched his back, bucking against Ral’s hand. His thighs were slippery and wet, definitely more so than could be accounted for by sweat. Ral paused, and Jace moaned in desperation through clenched jaws. “Guildpact, don’t be so impatient,” Ral chided him. The finger slid downward, carefully, almost tentatively, and breached Jace, Ral’s thumb moving into the position his finger had occupied previously. Jace hissed through his teeth in shock. Ral’s finger inside him stung for a moment, and then stopped stinging. “Aghha,” Jace got out. “Keep doing—that—” he panted. “What, this?” Ral slid another finger inside him and began to pump them in and out. Jace’s head fell back and hit the wall with a crack he barely registered. His world had narrowed to the space between his legs, the lips on his throat, the smell of ozone and brimstone. He strained onto his toes, chasing something he didn’t know how to follow, reaching for Ral and for a moment being quite along in his head, and then the lightning answered. Warmth surged through Jace until he was awash with. Ablaze with it. He slumped trembling against Ral, who slowly withdrew his fingers and asked, “Spectacular enough for you?” Jace tried to respond and then found that he had to concentrate on his knees, which had gone wobbly. He glared down at them, trying to stiffen them up. “I’ll take your lack of a response to be an affirmative,” smirked Ral. Jace looked up and tried to snap something, but instead grabbed Ral’s collar and kissed him. The kiss turned into a bite halfway through, and Jace tasted blood, which might have been his or Ral’s, he couldn’t tell. Ral’s hands slid underneath Jace’s thighs, lifting him off the floor. He struggled slightly, but managed to slide Jace around the wall and onto one of the tables lining the rooms. “Are you having trouble lifting me?” Jace inquired sweetly, then glanced over Ral’s shoulder to see something lazily spitting sparks. “Is that a live wire?” he asked sharply. “No,” said Ral, without looking around, sliding Jace’s trousers the rest of the way off and shifting him slightly. “You didn’t even l—” The electricity arced from Jace’s upper thigh through his body and cut through Ral’s lips on his. His breath stopped, ozone rising in his nostrils, his toes curling, as his universe exploded into red and blue. When the feeling finally ebbed, he smelled burnt hair. His heart was going a mile a minute, and Ral was chuckling again. “That was the live wire,” he said. “What—was—that—for?” Jace gritted out between his teeth. “I just thought you’d enjoy it if sparks were flying,” Ral said innocently. Jace gave him what he hoped was a cold look, though he was aware that it probably lacked force, coming from someone half-naked sitting on top of a lab table. “Well, then, shall we get to the main event?” Ral asked breezily. “I’m sure you’ve been waiting with bated breath.” “I have a meeting,” Jace groaned, even though he knew Ral would ignore his protest. He was not proven wrong. Ral undid his belt, carelessly letting it fall to the floor, and then his trousers. “All right, sweetheart, now lean back a little…” “*Sweetheart*?” sputtered Jace. “I am the Living Guildpact, I’m not—” Ral grinned. Letting his trousers drop, he leaned in over Jace, pulling his legs apart. “Aren’t you?” he asked, and thrust. Jace’s collected thoughts scattered. It hurt again, for a moment, and then it didn’t hurt at all. He stared up at Ral, whose eyes were—surprisingly—open and fixed on him. Watching for his reaction? Jace instinctively prodded at Ral’s mind, but as soon as he started to feel the shape of the other’s thoughts, Ral thrust harder, and Jace’s concentration fled, replaced by his own whirling emotions. He moaned and pushed against Ral, scrabbling for purchase as the lighning mage continued to thrust. “You did that on purpose,” Jace protested. “What?” Ral asked innocently, sliding a hand down to just above where he was penetrating Jace, and Jace groaned and writhed. “Do that again,” he whimpered, before he could stop himself. Ral laughed delightedly and leaned forward to kiss a line down Jace’s neck, fingers still moving out-of-rhythm with his thrusts. Shivers ran down Jace’s spine, and he bucked against Ral, scrabbling at his back and urging him closer with the heels locked around his waist. “Oh, Krokt, Ral,” he panted. “I—shouldn’t—this isn’t—” The words spilling out of his mouth didn’t seem to be making any kind of coherent sense. Ral’s hands slid under his thighs and lifted him off the table. The shift in angle sent his eyes springing shut as everything dissolved into warmth again. Jace struggled to find words, but eventually he just slumped backwards in exhaustion as Ral thrust a few more times and then climaxed with a groan, leaning forward over Jace as he did so and pressing a long, unexpected, sweat-soaked kiss to his lips. Neither of them breathed for a long moment, and then Ral grinned cheerfully, pulled back, and yanked his trousers up, belting them quickly with hands that barely trembled at all. He started for the door. “Where are you going?” Jace asked in consternation. “Didn’t I say? I have a meeting with the Firemind.” “You can’t leave me like this! I have a meeting as well!” “Like what? Relaxed and glowing after two orgasms?” Jace gestured frantically at himself. “A—a woman!” he practically wailed. Ral raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re a mind mage. Practice your illusions.” Then he left. Jace stared angrily after him and gingerly got down, nearly falling on his face as his knees caved in. Well, he thought grimly, at least this had to be the low point of the day. ~ Ral stared moodily at the sparking wire, trying to come up with an avenue of experimentation he hadn’t already exhausted. His brain was sparking erratically, chaotically, like the wire. He kept finding himself dwelling on images of Jace. Jace leaning back, the front of his shirt gaping open, with that adorable little frustrated look on his face, the look that morphed into startled ecstacy at Ral’s ministrations. His grim look of determination standing out suddenly through the haze of the Rakdos club, and Ral knowing that not only was he not going to die, but he was going to enjoy the evening immensely. The feel of Jace inside him, of himself inside the mind mage. Best of all, Jace’s voice muttering, “I hate you,” while his behavior said something very different. Jace, warm and alive. Not Jace, cold and— ~ The meeting went better than Jace had expected, though he noticed Lavinia shooting him some odd looks. As she was leaving, she leaned over and murmured, “Next time I’d suggest a shower first. And you are going to give me details tomorrow.” She flashed him a bright, slightly teasing smile, and Jace groaned and buried his face in his hands with embarrassment once she had left. He was just starting to collect his thoughts when he realized he no longer had breasts. Well, that was one upside to this extremely long day, he supposed. Begrudgingly, he admitted that the sex had been pretty fantastic as well, not that he would ever say that to Ral. He sighed and thought longingly of his bed. But he still had a fair amount to do. He was reaching for the stack of papers that teetered precariously on his desk when somebody knocked on the door. “Come in!” Jace called. There was no response. A moment later, the knock sounded again. Jace scowled. This had better not be another one of Ral’s stupid pranks. Sighing, he levered himself up and went over to the door, yanking it open in irritation. He caught a glimpse of a writhing mass of tentacles and a smiling face before his entire world became suddenly— ~ —stone. Ral wanted to beat his brain against the wall. Perhaps then it would provide a usable idea. He glanced briefly at Jace’s face, frozen into an expression halfway between shock and irritation. The feeling nagged at him that Jace had been expecting to see him, had been too distracted to be cautious… Ugh. This was the problem. His ridiculous inability to focus. Ral was not used to his brain letting him down and while, admittedly, it had produced several ideas of reasonable brilliance, none of them had worked. Was it even possible to undo a gorgon’s curse? Surely it was, he thought, drumming his fingers on the desk in agitation. He looked back over at Jace, gaze sliding across his still, stony form to the portion of the lab table where he had given the mindmage several mind-blowing orgasms. His brain gave on last, feeble attempted spark. The statue of Jace was clearly male, but he couldn’t have turned back much before his encounter with the gorgon. This was a remarkably stupid idea. One the other hand, none of his strokes of genius had worked, so perhaps it was time to try something idiotic. Most of the ideas he had already tried could be proudly described as “just crazy enough to work.” This one was “far, far too stupid to ever even come close to working,” and, yet, that also had a certain charm to it. Hands shaking feverishly, he approached the statue and began to feel his way through the faint magical aura surrounding it, for something familiar amid the gorgon’s web of cold blackness. At first there was nothing. Ral felt as if he were slogging through black sludge, but he gritted his teeth and kept going. The cold threatened to overwhelm him. He summoned a crackling shell of lightning as he pressed onward, which the stone drank far too quickly. Hands rapidly stiffening, he finally felt it—the little trace of blue mana, his blue mana. Clumsily, weakening, he tweaked it, teasing it outward and convincing it that it had been there the whole time. The shell of blackness was nothing but an illusion—didn’t it remember the form it was supposed to have? He tugged once more, feeling his heart beginning to beat thunderously slow. If this didn’t work, would he go down with it? Ah, well, not a bad legacy, to be immortalized in stone—the scientist at work. Had a nice ring to it. There was a twanging sound and a blast of blue and red mana. Ral fell backwards to the floor of his lab, blinking to clear his eyes. Somewhere in front of him, Jace groaned. Ral bolted back upright and rushed toward the sound. Half-blinded, he knocked over three stools and swept one glass beaker off the counter before he felt the cloth of Jace’s robes beneath his hands. “I thought I was—ugh—” Jace moaned, and Ral suddenly found he was kissing him, as the sparks faded from in front of his eyes. “Ral,” Jace said suspiciously as the Izzet guildmage drew back, a little embarrassed. “Damn it, why am I a woman again?” Ral sniffed. “There’s gratitude for you,” he said. “No, I’m grateful that I’m not stone, but—” “I manage to reverse the gorgon’s curse, and all you can do is make piddling little complaints about my methodology? I’m insulted, Guildpact.” Jace grunted, then sighed. “Well, thank you,” he said. “When should I expect this to wear off?” “Not any time soon, I should think,” Ral said cheerfully. “Would you like me to make the time pass more enjoyably?” Jace’s irritable rejoinder was music to his ears. Ah, he was good. Jace was alive, Jace was more or less back to normal, and, with luck, Jace was far too annoyed to look into Ral’s head. So no one ever had to know how worried he had been.