Introduction:

A quadriplegic gay man recounts his life of denial and fetish to get off on it

Paralysed Faggot
By Mathew Elizabeth

I lay in bed unable to ever move my entire body. After a tragic sports
accident years ago I was left paralysed from the shoulders down. Years of
therapy were able to get only my hands moving again and retrieve sexual
sensation. At least I could still masturbate, I thought to myself. It was
the only highlight of my life.

When I told my male caretaker that I need 'Private time', as always he
understood. He simply grabbed my wrist and placed one hand on my laptop
computer and my other hand near my crotch. Its from there that I proceed
to do my business after he walks out of the room to give me my privacy.

I lay in bed with my laptop computer in front of me. My other hand
flopped out onto the keyboard and touch pad. I'm very slow, but I managed
to log in to my Chat Program. The list of all my contacts are shown to me
and a number of instant messages flood through, indicating that some of
them have sent me messages.

Master C: "Hey Faggot! Where's my money!"

Master Devin: " Where did my ugly fat paralysed faggot get to?

Master Nick: "Hey bitch, I need some cash to take my girl out to the
movies!"

WalkerBrahh: Fucking Quadriplegic loser! Get Online NOW!

This was my life. This was how I dealt with it; masturbating and losing
myself completely to the verbal abuse of young arrogant teens called 'Cash
Masters'. The many boys on cam have been paid large amounts of money by
me. Ever since I was paralysed 10-years ago my rich parents gave me my
inheritance straight away instead of waiting till I was 18-year-old and had
graduated high school. It was a sum of three million and my parents have
helped it go towards the right stocks and shares; so there was constant a
flow of income for me. This money allowed me to live life as comfortable
as possible.

However, my inheritance also allowed me to pay many young teenagers
digital accounts in exchange for them to verbally and mentally abuse me.
The teenage boys were saying what they were saying and doing what they were
doing because they were getting paid a lot of money in secret. Their
family and friends had no idea what they were taking part in. However,
there were some boys that had groups of friends that humiliate me and they
would split the payment providing I pay significantly more for the 'group
show'.

Why do I convince teenage boys to be so mean and cruel to me? Its
rather hard to explain. I've been gay since I could remember. I've liked
boys and their domineering personality since I was very little. The
confident sporty boys were always my favourite. So ever since I've been
paralysed and had all this money, it has allowed me to indulge in their
attention.

Plus, everybody is too damn nice to me! Everyone is so sweet towards me
it makes me sick! No one treats me like a human being anymore! They just
feel sorry for me and treat me like I'm an ignorant child. Even my
caretaker Tim, who I like very much, annoyed me with his fake and blank
smiles.

I admit that the first year of becoming a quadriplegic was horrifying.
As a kid I would wake up every morning thinking I could move my limbs and
spring out of bed like I used to. But instead, every morning id cry when I
realised that I could never do that again. Sometimes I would just lay
there. I would look at the ceiling and scream with tears streaming down my
face and stinging my eyes. It wasn't until I was able to move my hands and
fingers that I managed to gain a little hope in living. But after ten
years I never made anymore progress than merely moving my hands and
fingers.

Reality didn't seem to matter anymore; all I wanted to do was pay those
arrogant younger 'Cash master' boys to fuck with my brain. The boys would
laughably yell at me and make fun of me for being a ugly 'cripple' and
'retard'. I would masturbate looking into their mean beautiful eyes as
they said these horrible things. I felt like they were the only people
telling the truth. I did feel 'worthless' I did feel 'ugly' and most of
all I did feel like a 'Retarded Cripple'. Having these cruel words being
said to me was so liberating.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Ummm...are you done yet Scotty?" I heard Tim, my 19-year-old caretaker
sweetly say from outside my room.

"No...I'm sorry Tim," I said puffed, tugging my penis, with my face
wedged in the pillow. "I'm almost done." I said in a strained voice

"OK dude," I heard him say calmly "But just thought I should let you
know; its almost toilet and bath time."

"Oh! Sorry Tim!" I said ashamed, how could I be so selfish? I forgot
that I let Tim finish up and hangs out with his friends after my
'Toilet/Bath time', I didn't want to keep him waiting, I pull my penis
harder, "Ill hurry it up!"

"I-its ok dude take your time," I heard him say nicely and walk away
from the door.

I didn't take my time though, I pulled my dick faster and harder. Tim
was so good to me and he didn't deserve to spend another second in my
stupid place. Tim is 19-years-old and a very handsome blonde. I wasn't
sure wether he was gay or not, he acted sweet and kind like a mother. But
he liked his sports and had a magnificent muscular body. He may be paid
well, but I still felt I he should have a nice evening with his friends
instead of ugly-old-23-year-old me. The final thing I needed him to do was
take me to the bathroom so I could clear my bowel and for him to give me a
bath. Then i wouldn't need anyone for the entire evening and morning.

When I was done I let him know and he eagerly took me to the bathroom to
let me 'do my business' and clean me up. Afterwards, I waved thankfully at
him as he departed and he waved sweetly back. I loved him. But I knew he
would never think of me in the same way I did him.

2.

Ill never forget the day I became paralysed. It was on the weekend. My
dad had already convinced me to play a game of tackle football with all the
cool boys in my grade, because they were short a player.

"I don't know dad," I said at the age of twelve, "I don't like those
guys, they call me 'gay''

"Come on son," Dad said enthusiastic, " Id love to see you play club
sport with the boys. I promise they won't call you names when you are part
of the team," I looked into my dads eyes and didn't want to disapoint him.
I agreed, and it was the worst mistake of my life.

CRACK!!

I went from feeling everything to nothing within a instant. I saw
myself collapse to the ground, but I didn't feel the thud. The boy that
tackled me when I had the ball, hit me so hard I flung back, my head and
neck hit the grass at an angle. The motion of the boys tackle pushed my
head and neck further into the grass, further bending it and twisting it
into distortion. I laid on the grass, drool and blood pooling below my
face. I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't move.

"HELP ME!" I Squealed "HEELP MEE!!"

Many of the adults came running from the side of the field to make sure
I was ok. All the boys my age looked around at one another in shock. Men
and women surrounded me and shifted my body so I was laying on my back. I
remembered seeing a man grab my hand. I saw him squeeze it, and asking me
if I could feel him squeezing. I felt nothing. It was like he was
squeezing someone else's hand.

I looked around beyond the surrounding crowd, trying to catch a glance
at the boy who did this too me. There he was; staring at me in horror,
having realised what he did. It was a boy I knew; his name was Michael
Stunner. He was a jock that went to my school, but played against me
because he lived in another town. He was blonde, muscular and would wear
his hat backwards.

In the aftermath, I was taken to hospital. 12-year-old Michael was
given a talking to. He apparently expressed that he was deeply sorry to my
parents and his parents. But I never saw this come out of his mouth. He
never apologised to me directly.

Over the next ten years I watched Michael Stunner become a success.
During junior high school he apparently dated all the hot girls and was
liked by everybody. When he got a little older, sixteen, he was captain of
the local football squad. He was Prom King three years in a row. He also
got a football scholarship that gave him easy access to any Collage he
chooses. One time when we were 18-year-old I saw him at a shopping centre
when my past caretaker (not Tim) wheeled me around town on a wheelchair. I
noticed Michael glanced at me for a second, but looked away, ignored me as
if he never saw me. He walked away in a hurry.

But the real kick in the guts was when he came out of the closet, and
revealed he liked men. That's right Michael Stunner is gay! At least
Bi-sexual anyway. Apparently he 'came out' shortly after high-school and
was supported by all his family and friends.

I remember I was eighteen-years-old when I heard the news. I asked for
my laptop and my previous 'lady caretaker' instantly retrieved it for me. I
searched on my laptop through the social networks and decided to check up
on Michael. The images I saw of him filled me full of envy and resentment.
There were many pictures of Michael muscly and topless, his arms around
other beautiful topless boys. They were kissing his cheek. He was kissing
their cheek. They were grabbing his muscles. Drinks were in all their
hands and a shimmering pool was in the background. It looked like a very
expensive number of parties Michael was invited to.

Tears were streaming down my face. I continued to look at all the
pictures. Michael, the boy who destroyed my life, was living the ultimate
gay-boy lifestyle. Dancing, kissing and having sex with beautiful young men
in the hot summer night. The look on his face, the look on the other boys
faces; all full of satisfaction and not a care in the world. They looked
like gods partying in Olympus to me.

I began to cry looking at pictures. I was such a pathetic worm compared
to that existence. I looked and stared into all their happy eyes through
the pictures. I jerked and tugged my cock wide eyed, whimpering. I
thought I could hear the boys giggling at me through the pictures. I
tugged even harder to the thought.

"They are laughing at me!" I said shaking as I flogged my limp hand up
and down my cock. "There laughing at how pathetic I am!!"

"Hahaha! What a freak!" I imagined one 16-year-old beautiful gay-boy in
one of Michaels picture say.

"Oh my god! He's so ugly!" Another beautiful boy laughed in another
picture.

"Hahahaha! You cant move! You cant fucking move!" Another pretty boy
scorned cruelly at me.

"Freak! Freak! Freak!! Freak!!! Freak!!!" I could see them all yell
and point at me from the multiple pictures.

In one picture I saw Michael Stunner, athletic and handsome grab one of
the boys and passionately kiss him. The image of Michael looked at me from
beyond the image he was within and sneered at me, "Look at me. I have sex
and partying with all these guys because I'm a winner. Your a loser."

My eyed widened like a lunatic, my mouth drooped and my tongue wiggled
out of my mouth like a lizard. I squealed as the most strong orgasm overtook
my stiff ridged body.

"AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!" I yelped. My body shook and shivered like it
was boiling. I instantly got a headache from the overpowering sensation.

Ever since then , I was inspired to pay young beautiful looking
teenagers, whether they were gay or str8 to verbally and mentally abuse me.
Nothing in my life since the accident has felt more real and powerful.

Now its been four years since then and ten years since I've been
paralysed. I'm literally in the same place as I was before. Both in
location and my life. I was making no progression. How could I? Tim was
the only guy I could depend on. My family doesn't visit me anymore. They
say its because I'm too bitter. But I bet its because they can't be bothered
to visit their rotting corpse of a son.

I was willing to accept my fate now I didn't care anymore. At least I
had Tim by my side.

Once again it was getting close to the late evening and was toilet and
bath time. Tim was going to leave soon. I liked being alone, but Tim was
great company.

"Im in a pretty serious relationship," 19-year-old Tim said happily to
me, making conversation as he was wiping my anus, making me tilt on the
toilet seat.

"Oh really is she pretty?" I asked him.

"Well...Its a guy actually," He smiled sweetly at me.

I knew it! I knew he liked guys! Tim was a sweet guy though, I was so
happy for him.

"Oh cool okay, what's his name?"

"Michael," Tim said happily "Michael Stunner."

3.

It had been a few days since I found out Tim was dating Michael. I
never told Tim anything. I also knew he was none the wiser. Tim had no
idea that I knew his boyfriend, Michael. He didn't know that it was his
new boyfriend Michael who made me a quadriplegic ten years ago. I decided
to keep it a secret. Tim was such a sweet caring soul. I doubt Michael knew
that Tim was my caretaker as well. They were both ignorant and it hurt my feelings
more then if they were somehow planning this out of spite. It was like fate,
the stars were against me.

Similar to when I found out Michael liked men; I investigated both Tim
and Michael's social-networking profiles when I found out about their
relationship. Dozens upon dozens of pictures appeared before me. All
pictures of Michael and Tim together, hugging, kissing and holding hands.
Smiling at the camera and happy to be together. Like before, these
pictures filled me with envy and dread. They were happy and I wasn't! I
felt so ashamed, it was giving me an erection.

"I'm such a loser!" I cried out in my room, flopping my hand towards my
penis and playing with it longingly.

I thought I was going to imagine the pictures of Michael and Tim to
taunt me; much like I imagined the pictures years before. But I couldn't
conjure that experience up this time. Michael and Tim's longing smiles of
satisfaction were good enough for me to be stimulated though, because I
cummed hard. The feelings of helplessness multiplied as my orgasms filled
my skull with the pressure of hot blood. Humility was my addiction and It never
got old. They were beautiful. I was not. They could walk and move their arms.
I could not. They were athletic, big and strong. I was not.

"Oh my fucking god!" I squealed and convulsed. "AHHH!
AHHHHHAaaaaahhh!"

Cum had splattered all over my stomach and I knew I couldn't clean
myself up.

Tim lived in my place and had a room in the far back of the house, so he
could play his music and have his friends around without disturbing me,
providing he didn't make too much noise. He was a local collage student
who was studying nursing and all his classes were early in the morning. So
after partying with all his friends, I imagined he would sleep in and be in
too much of a rush to get my breakfast.

But alas, the following morning; it was 7:30am and sweet Tim was kind
enough to collect my breakfast and serve it to me before he went to campus.
It was then he noticed dried cum stains on my stomach and shirt; he
intently cleaned it with a smile and without a look of hesitation on his
face.

"So jealous. You player Scotty!" Tim joked and smiled sweetly as he
wiped my messy stomach with a cloth.

"Sorry Tim," I blushed.

"Don't apologise dude. It's only natural. Do what you gotta do."

"You've been so good to me," I said longingly, "I feel I must reward
you." I let out a long breath of hot air before I proposed a most
comprising plan, "If you and this 'Michael fellow' ever want to spend the
night together; feel free to use this main room and the house at your
entire disposal. I can sleep in the back room for a change."

"Really?...Oh...Scott..I couldn't do that," 19-year-old Tim said
gracefully.

"Really, its no problem at all Tim." I said happily, "As a matter of
fact, you will be hanging out with Michael tonight wont you?"

"Ummm yeah," Tim said.

"Well then," I concluded, "That settles it. When you get home after
hanging out with your group of friends; you two love birds can have my room
and Ill be in the back room out of sight, sleeping."

"Scott...are you sure about this? The bed back there is much smaller
and I don't feel comfortable taking you away from your room. "

Tim sounded awkward and made out that he didn't want to intrude.
However, I could see it in his eyes, he really wanted me out of sight, and
for him to have my two-story luxury home to himself for the night.

"You deserve this Tim," I said a matter of fact, "Its just a matter of
changing a few sheets, swapping over a few personal items and leaving the
bed and furniture the way it is. It won't take you more than five minutes.
That bed in the backroom can't bed two people after all! Please let me do
this favour for you."

"Ok," Tim said with a crooked smile, "If you insist."

"Don't worry about changing over everything now," I said, "You can do it
after you get home from collage and are preparing the night with your
friends."

"Thanks so much, Scotty" He said and giving me the most sweetest smile
before kissing me on the forehead. That was its own reward.

"Oh, and one more thing. Don't worry about introducing me to Michael or
telling Michael who I am. I will be too tired anyway. Michael should at
least understand that I'm a dependant who needs his sleep."

"Sure, of course," Tim said respectfully and turned to get ready for
collage.

Tim was ignorant of the fact that I had the house rigged up with bugs
and tiny camera's. I invested a lot of money to set them up with my
wireless state of the art laptop computer. The reason being was because I
suspected my 'past lady caretaker' was stealing stuff in my house. I
had people set up the camera's while she was off shift. I was correct, she
was stealing. I saw her with my own eyes on my laptop through the camera's
I had set up. I fired her and shortly after hired Tim. It was the best
thing that could have happened to me. I was now going to use the equipment
again, but for an entirely different, more pervy purpose.

4.

Tim departed for collage and I didn't expect him back for another five
hours or so. He usually got home between midday and 2pm. In the meantime,
I decided to go online on my chat-program and see if my teenage 'cash
masters' were going to give me any attention. Thankfully there was someone
online.

17-year-old Master Devin was online. He was slim looking skater kid
that finished high school early and looked for the easiest way to make cash.
So he made a career though dominating and abusing me. I payed him roughly
$1200 a week, a very-very good wage for someone as young as him. He still
lived at home with his parents, even though he makes more than them. He
plans on saving the money for big things.

Master Devin: "Hey faggot! Pay day today!"

Me: Yes sir!................$1200 sent to your account sir. I hope you enjoy it.

Master Devin: Damn right I will faggot.

Me: Please verbally abuse me sir. I need it. Remember I told you about
'Michael', he made me into the stupid retarded cripple that I am?

Master Devin: Hahaha yeah I remember you telling me about 'Michael'. He
sounds like a cool guy; I would have a beer with him.

Me: Yes...Well it looks like he's dating my caretaker Tim.

Master Devin: LMAO!! That's too much of a coincidence, your lying about this shit!

Me: I'm not lying sir, its true. (sending link to pictures). They are so hot together and
I've allowed them both to sleep in my main room while I sleep in the backroom.

Master Devin: Hahaha this is funny shit! Do they both know about the
connection between you three?

Me: They both have no idea sir.

Master Devin: Well ill tell you something you worthless cripple faggot. I'm not gay,
but I can tell you this! You are NOTHING compared to them. Those
two are cool athletic guys and you are an ugly rotting corpse!

I began to whimper and pull my penis with my weak arms and flopping
wrist.

Master Devin: They are happy. You are not and never will be.

"Yes sir!" I cried, tears streaming down my face. This never got old,
not for the entire four years I've been doing it. But Michael and Tim's
relationship added more spice to my already bizarre sex life. If you can
even call this pathetic activity of mine a sex life.

I knew Tim would be returning from collage soon and preparing for
another night of partying with his friends and his new boyfriend Michael. I
imagined that Tim would give a honest and humble explanation to Michael
when explaining that he lived in my luxury home without parents. I'm sure
he would tell Michael that he looks after a dependent/cripple (me).

However, I hoped Tim wouldn't go into detail and explain what condition
I was in or who I was in particular. Otherwise Michael would find out it
was me and the whole sexual tension of the situation would be ruined.
There was no real way for me to hint that to Tim without giving away the
situation to him either. I just had to let it all roll out and see if Tim
and Michael would or wouldn't discover my secret through discussing things
with one another. I preyed they wouldn't find out.

In the mean time I had arrogant teenagers to pay.

5.

Hours had passed and Tim had returned home from collage. He pretended
that he didn't seem to be in a hurry to swap our belongings between the two
rooms. But I could see it in his eyes. His hands and feet were jittery
with excitement. He couldn't wait to have the whole house to his and his
boyfriends disposal.

In the late afternoon Tim had exchanged all his belongings with mine.
Pictures of hot topless men, An MP3 Music player dock with small speakers
and study text books on anatomy were what I could remember best. He then
grabbed my two chubby legs, lifted them and up and with his wonderful
strength, ripped the sheets from under me the swiftness of his strong
throwing arm.

"Its almost toilet and bath time dude," Tim said, "When your soaking in
the bath ill change the sheets over,"

Soon after, strong and beautiful Tim carried me into the bathroom and
sat me upright on the toilet. I finished my business on the toilet and Tim
seemed eager to get my anus wiping over and quick. After he was done, he
carried me over towards the bathtub and set me into the clean soapy water
that had the most wonderful temperature. Tim always seemed to get the
temperature just right.

Tim then retreated to finish up our room swapping. He only needed to
swap the sheets between the two beds and the transition was complete. Both
of us couldn't wait.

Tim returned in the next five minutes and washed me. He spared no
places when it came to washing me with the sponge. He would wipe and clean
every inch of my arms and legs; lifting my chubby legs up as he washed my
anus and crotch region. I would gaze at Tim's beautiful face as he cleaned
away at my most intimate area's. The few places I had physical feeling.
He didn't show glee or annoyance. He just had a blank face of pure business.
It was his job after all. I was in heaven as this glorious beautiful
creature touched me with strength of his arms and hands.

Tim then dried me off and we were both prepared for the night ahead of
us. He then carried me to new bedroom I was going to lay in. We entered
and I observed it. It had been so long.

The room was nothing like mine. It was maybe quarter of the size of my
room. A dripping water-pipe could be seen on the top right hand corner of
the ceiling. The light was turned on, but it was flickering and dim. All
my personal items were squashed on to a single chest of draws right next to
the tiny, brown and crooked bed. The bed had two thin pillows and my state
of the art laptop computer had been safely transferred from one room to the
other.

"Not what your used to huh," Tim frowned holding me, "Are you sure your
ok about this Scotty?"

"This is just fine Tim." I said reassuring him, " Now you don't waste
another second worrying about me and go out and have fun with all your
friends."

"Scott..." Tim said sweetly cradling me in his strong arms, "Your the
best."

"Nope. Your the best," I said looking up at him adoringly.

Tim departed, and I waited him to return home.

6.

It was 12:30 at night and six hours had passed since Tim left me in his
small room out the back of my house. I spent all night observing his and
Michaels social networking pages on my computer. They posted different
pics of themselves or with each other making funny faces and sticking
tongues out like handsome jokers. Both of them were laughing with friends
as people, lasers and disco lights could be seen dancing in the background
of the night club. The pictures abruptly stopped around midnight. Indicating
that they would be back soon.

I had the camera program on my computer ready. There was a hidden
camera in every room. Including the toilets and bathrooms. I had a
interface on my laptop that allowed me to pick and interchange between
views and perspectives with ease.

As expected, it didn't take long for Tim and Michael to get home. I
could hear the door sway open with the clutter of Tim's house keys. I saw
the doors open through the camera's. I waited eagerly for them both to
step inside.

Tim staggered inside drunk and disorderly. Even when he slouched he
looked so handsome. Then entered Michael, also looking a bit drunk. He
was looking even more lean and handsome then ever before.

As soon as the doors closed they kissed one another. They grasped each
others heads with eagerness. I had my hands slowly tickling
my cock as I watched two specimen's of beauty melding together. I saw
their tongues shamelessly lashing against one another in glorious obscene
lust. They knew that they were both beautiful. They celebrated it.

Michael looked around and nodded his head wide-eyed. I could already see
he was curious and wanted to ask questions.


"Not bad!" 23-year-old Michael said, "I'm really impressed!"

"Nice place huh?" Tim said smiling and smug

"How did you get this place?" Michael said astounded, "Its amazing, its
a mansion. Your only 19-years-old!" "It's a long story," Tim said.

"I'm a patient man," 23-year-old Michael said giggling, "Come on, tell
me."

What will you tell him Tim? I thought. Will you tell him about your
job? Will you tell him about me? Will you lie or tell the truth?

"Basically I was a caretaker for this rich quadriplegic," 19-year-old
Tim began.

"Was?" Michael said curious.

"Was?" I retorted to myself, my eyes glued to the screen even more so.

"Yeah," Tim said a matter of fact, "I was his caretaker in the past.
But he's dead now."

"What??!!" I shrieked in a whisper

I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. How could Tim make up a lie
like that? I didn't expect this!

"Wow," Michael replied, "So he gave you his house?"

"Well, the guy was a sad dude. He never spoke with his family. Even
though they gave him everything, including this house. He lost all his
friends because he was so awkward and snarky. I was basically the only
person in his life that gave him anything. Someone to talk to. Someone to
clean him and get him his food. I was getting a great wage though. So it
was worth it. I deserved the house in his Will ,I suppose. I was the only
one left in his lonely sad life."

Tim then kissed Michael passionately on the lips again. Michael returned
the kiss. Their tongues once again wiggling against one another's. They
both grasped each other like strong men, their young toned muscles tense as
they grasp and meld into one another. They then pulled each other into the
main bedroom where I usually sleep. I switched my camera eye over to the
bedroom to see the hot action. But Tim then chuckled and turned the light
out. Damn it!

Despite the lack of visuals it was still a hot riveting scene. I could
hear their bodies slapping and them both moaning as one pushed into the
other.

"Fuck yeah! Lick me there! OHooooooo! Yes thats so good!"

"Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!" I heard one of heave in a husky voice.
But I couldn't tell which one.

"Oh my god! That. Is. Rude" I heard Tim laugh.

Then their were sounds of absolute pleasure and passion I could never
achieve with someone else's body. I could only dream of such contact!

I masturbated furiously to their sounds and movements. They were
humping and gyrating; enjoying each others beautiful bodies while I tugged
my pathetic ugly pug flesh and listened like the creep I was. It was
enough. I cummed harder than I have ever cummed before; and that is saying
a lot.

"AAAAAhh!! OOOOOHHHHhhh!" I let out a blood-curdling squeal. Saliva
was streaming from the side of my mouth as I lay forever in a cloudy
trance.

Their enjoyment for each other, was a helpless joy for me. The helpless
feeling of their success and happiness filled me with erotic envy.

Was this the only way I could be happy?

The End?

If you like my stories that are filled with so much dread visit my profile on this site or contact me on [email protected]

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