[[[-RECOLLECTIONS-2-06.TXT-]]]
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Recollections 2
Written by: Kaadorix
M/F, F/F and a whole lot more
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Chapter 06: "Hearts"
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(Seven Years Ago // Flashback)
-*- Friday, December 24, 2010 -*-
-*- Fairway, Kansas -*-
A kaleidoscope of color danced across my very eyes as I stared
down at my grandmother's ring. I rolled the engagement band
between my forefinger and thumb. It had been burning a hole in my
pocket since I picked it up from the safe deposit box at the bank
yesterday. I had since taken the ring out and admired it every
chance I got. Instead of looking at the menu here at _Stroud's_, a
magnificent restaurant in Fairway, I had pulled out the ring.
Since I left my parents' farm house yesterday afternoon in
Pleasant Grove, the conversation I had with them kept playing over
and over again in my mind. I had given it a lot of thought, and I
had come to the conclusion that Mom and Dad were right.
Like usual.
Alexa was an intelligent, loving, forgiving, incredible woman.
I was so worried about what others were saying about Alexa and I
being together - the doubters; those claiming that our difference
in age (36 to 19) was far too great for anything to last long-term
between us - but I wasn't giving what she and I had together enough
credit. Why worry about what others (even some members of my own
family) thought when our relationship, though just six months old,
was as rock-solid and stable as could be? The sky was the limit
for us. Beyond that, even. Why did I need confirmation from
others when I already knew what we had was so incredibly right?
Mom also had another point. I had to follow my heart.
I was inching closer, but I was not going to ask Alexa to marry
me. Not yet, but soon. I seriously thought about popping the big
question tonight in front of her parents, which would undoubtedly
make this the greatest Christmas Eve EVER, but decided against it.
Why try and overshadow what was already (supposedly) one of the
happiest days of the year? But I was really testing my patience.
Perhaps after the new year, in January, I would officially ask her
to be my wife. Finally, I would get to put a ring on Alexa's
finger. The same ring my grandmother gave to me five years ago
before her passing. Grandma made me promise that one day, I would
bestow her treasured ring onto a special lady who deserved it. I
was her last grandchild (there were 16 of us) NOT to be married.
I shut my eyes and immediately smiled because an image of Alexa
appeared. Sweet, sweet Alexa. Darling Alexa! She was lying
beneath me in my clear-as-day vision, her expressive eyes looking
up at me as I made love to her. Every single time I closed my
eyelids thus far today, I would see a different frame from the
various times Alexa and I had been intimate over the past three
months. The night, as incredible as it was, when she offered her
virginity to me. That afternoon nestled away in my boat's cabin on
the lake. That one Saturday, over the arm of the sofa in my living
room, when Alexa showed me just how flexible her slender, little
body truly was after all those years of gymnastics. My brain had
taken snapshots from those encounters, and all of the others, that
were now being projected on the back of my eyelids. Trust me, I
was not complaining. If pictures of Alexa were all I saw for the
rest of my life whenever I closed my eyes, I would be a happy man.
Happy.
That was such a subjective term. I thought I had grown to a
place of happiness before Alexa had popped up in my life. It had
taken me six years - way too long - to get there, but I honestly
believed as if I had achieved it. Now I knew that, at best, I
had been merely content. Treading water, even. I had been going
through the motions of life since the dark afternoon when my
engagement with Suzi imploded in 2004 - day after day, week after
week, month after month, year after year - trying to make the best
of things, to do my best, to be the best I could, but there was
absolutely no joy in my life. I was so lonely, and relegated to
the fact I would stay that way. I kept afloat with my job, busy,
always wanting to help others as their doctor and caregiver.
Being with Alexa this past half-year offered me a glimpse of
what pure bliss actually was. Spending time with her revealed to
me that I was never truly in love with Suzi, my ex-fiancee, and I
should be glad the nasty vampiress cheated on me before we nearly
got married in 2004. Hell, I had never actually been in love
until I met Alexa... period. Having her as my girlfriend taught me
what true love really was; she was a part of me now, and I wanted
to devote every waking moment - my heart and soul - to her from this
point forward. I wanted to marry her and take her home, help create
and put babies in her. Just spend the rest of eternity with Alexa.
Was that too much to ask for?
When I woke up to an otherwise empty bed this morning, I simply
figured that Alexa was in the washroom or kitchen. But after a
quick sweep of the house, I realized that she was not there. I
went out to the porch to find her car was gone. The only reason I
did not panic was because I checked my cell phone and found a text
message from her. Alexa snuck out to Overland Park because her
mom wanted help hanging some last-minute Christmas decorations.
"Whoa, dude," came Mike's unmistakable voice from behind me
here in the crowded restaurant. "Is that what I think it is?"
I put Grandma's ring back into my shirt pocket and gritted my
teeth. When I turned around, I saw Mike - a fellow doctor and
my best friend since our days together at Washburn College -
standing at attention with a somber, forlorn expression upon his
face. Mike had taken off his Colorado Rockies' baseball cap and
was now holding it over his heart like he was at a funeral.
I crossed my arms. "What are you doing?"
With sincere reverence, Mike said, "I'm paying respects to my
fallen wingman. Jeremy [Last Name], you were one of the all-time
greats, and you will be forever missed. Amen."
I squinted my eyes for an instant and motioned toward the menu
on the table, grunting, "You're 15 minutes late." Indeed, Mike
was supposed to meet me for a Christmas Eve lunch here at 11:00am.
"I know that look, man," Mike said, pointing at my shirt pocket
where the ring was stashed. "You're officially done. Off the
freakin' market. I'm gonna have to find myself a new wingman.
You think Darryl would be up for the gig?"
I shook my head. "I was never your wingman."
"Yes, you were." Mike took a seat and his face contorted as if
I was an idiot for thinking otherwise. "Why do you think I always
used to ask you to go out to the bar with me every Sunday night?"
"Friendship?"
"Nah, dude," Mike flinched. "Fuck that. It's because I always
wanted to get laid before I was forced to go back to the office and
act like a professional, a DOCTOR, on Monday morning."
That may have been the case for Mike, but it was the polar
opposite for me. He lived his life at breakneck speed. Especially
when it came to chasing women and bedding them, conquering them.
Every time I talked to Mike, it seemed, he had a new woman in his
life. Or he had already cycled through them since our last chat.
"I haven't taken a girl home from the bar in over two years."
"I know!" Mike nodded enthusiastically. "That's what made you
the perfect wingman. More for me! Chicks like to travel in packs
of at least two. You hung back, talked to whichever one I wasn't
vibing with. You'd play pool or darts with them. You'd keep the
friend busy while I laid the groundwork. Then you'd go home.
Alone. It was like clockwork. It was... perfect."
"No idea what to tell you, bro." I slowly shook my head and
withdrew the engagement ring from my pocket and held it out for
him to see. "You're gonna have to learn to fish without a net."
Mike laughed uproariously. "Good thing I have a big pole."
He tilted his head and inspected the ring for a moment or two,
but then in customary Mike style, he scoffed. "Seriously? You
want to transition from workaholic to marrying the teeny-bopper?"
I looked up and noticed a young father pass by us in the
restaurant while his wife followed close behind with a baby
cradled in her arms. That was what I wanted. That life.
With Alexa.
"Yes, Mike. I'm ready to settle down. I've had my fill of
game playing and lonely nights."
"That you have," Mike agreed. "But I've still got plenty of
wild oats left to sow for the both of us."
Mike and I had gone carousing together more times than I could
remember, but my work always took priority over my social life
(until I met Alexa, at least). When Mike and I were in college, I
studied every night and kept my social calendar to the weekends,
having sowed enough wild oats for a dozen men before dating Suzi.
Since starting my medical practice, I had been focused on growing
the business, but now that I had a long list of patients, it was
time to do something about the part of my life I had been ignoring.
Mike flashed a bright smile. "That's a nice ring, man." Mike
was a big guy who did not fit the stereotypical image of a doctor.
His hair was a bit shaggy, he was built like he was made for a
fight, and when he wasn't working, he picked up women and took
them home like it was nothing. Again, he was the exact opposite
of me. My own sister, Janae, once said that I was the epitome of
professional even in my time off from work. I had always been
careful with my body and heart, and never thought of a one-night
stand as something to strive for. But Mike, though? Yet he and I
seemed to complement each other nicely; we were business partners
and had been the best of friends for the past 18 years.
"It was my grandmother's ring," I said in response to him.
"You remember Grandma Callie, right? You were at her funeral in
2006. I thought about buying Lexi a brand new engagement ring -
one all her own - but I ultimately decided to honor Grandma's
memory and use this as THE ring instead. Besides, I doubt I could
find a better ring - a more suitable ring - for Lexi than this."
I smiled and ended, "I like... the way it sparkles."
Mike laughed. "The way it sparkles, man?"
I looked up and, from across the restaurant, I saw one of the
waitresses - Mackenzie - approaching us with two coffees and a
basket of hot bread in hand. Mackenzie's eyes found mine and a
faint blush rushed up her cheeks as she grinned and set down the
goodies. "I made a half-caff just the way you like it, Jeremy."
Although Alexa was dominating nearly every thought of mine here
lately, I could not help but to take an instant or two to assess
the lovely 26-year-old standing before us now. It appeared as if
Mackenzie came to work this morning with her hair pinned up, but
with it being Christmas Eve and the restaurant incredibly crowded
and busy, her messy bun of obsidian-black tresses had since slipped
to the base of her neck. She had sharp features - a pointy chin,
high cheekbones, thin lips and a nose that perked up at the end.
Some may have thought Mackenzie's features were harsh, but I saw
her from the opposite end of the spectrum - elfin - mostly because
her dark eyes were big and round, very friendly and generous,
softening all those sharp edges into a mask of sultry seduction.
"Hey, where's my special delivery?" Mike chimed in. "You bring
Jeremy a specific cup of coffee, but not me?" He smiled at her.
"Or would you prefer that I give you a special delivery myself?"
"PLEASE." Mackenzie - or Kenzie, as Mike and I knew her -
rolled her eyes. "Michael [Last Name], if I wanted you, I'd have
had you by now. You're not cowboy enough for me, city boy."
Mike flashed her his standard, charming smile. "I'll wear
leather chaps if that's what it takes."
I eyed them both, my body suddenly rigid. I had a brief fling
with Mackenzie in the past, but nothing ever came of it. I still
considered her a friend, though, and she was one of the reasons
why I enjoyed dining here at _Stroud's_ - the restaurant where
she worked - so much. Mike, on the other hand, had been hot on
Mackenzie's trail for the past two years, but to no avail.
"Clothes don't make the cowboy." Mackenzie stepped away when
Mike tried to reach out and grasp her hand.
Mike gave a cocky grin. "What if the chaps are ass-less?"
Mackenzie's face scrunched. "You're disgusting."
"I'm a man of many talents," he proclaimed. "I'll be a cowboy.
Give me a horse and I'll ride her like there's no tomorrow."
"Do you WANT to be a cowboy?" The question slipped out of my
mouth before I even could think to suppress it.
Mike put both elbows onto the table and gazed dreamily into
Mackenzie's eyes. "Only if it's you I'm saddling up, honey."
Mackenzie shook her head and seemed to bite her tongue. She
had resisted Mike for so long, yet seemed amused by his playboy
antics and one-liners. That was the thing about Mike. He was so
outgoing and full of charm; he could talk his way out of literally
anything. No one ever took offense to him or what he said.
Mackenzie glanced my way and I noticed her blush from earlier
deepen. "I'll be back in a few moments to get your order. Merry
Christmas, guys." She lifted her hand in a small wave toward me -
all but ignoring Mike - before going onto another table.
Mike leaned closer and lowered his voice as he watched Mackenzie
walk away. "So, my girl is into cowboys?" He winced, his features
tightening. "Look at that ASS, man! I wonder if all the chicks in
Puerto Rico have asses like that. If so, I should move there."
"Your girl?" I asked, my eyebrows raised, NOT looking at her ass.
"Why didn't you ever close the deal with Kenzie?" Mike asked me.
"Dude, that broad is fucking hot, and she still swoons over you. I
thought you two were going to hook up after meeting at the Treads
and Threads event two years ago. What the hell happened? How
could you pass tapping an ASS LIKE THAT?"
"We're just friends." I wasn't big on talking about my personal
life when it came to women from the past. There was too much hurt,
too much heartache, stemming from most of those relationships. Not
so much with Mackenzie, but I still preferred not to talk about her.
There was no point because nothing had ever been there.
"It's obvious she still wants to be more than friends with you."
Mike tilted his head toward the cup of coffee I held.
I ignored the insinuation.
I had met and danced all night with Mackenzie two years ago at
the annual Treads and Threads fundraiser, held at the oval at
Kansas Speedway, and hosted by the University of Kansas hospital to
benefit breast cancer patient care. I even drove Mackenzie to her
apartment, but when she asked me if I wanted to come inside for a
drink, I told her that I was tired and wanted to go home instead.
For a split-second, her face dropped with disappointment, but she
quickly recovered. It had been a lie on my part; I was not tired
at all. As much as I liked Mackenzie as a person, I knew there
was no future between us. I did not want to waste her time or
hurt her by leading her on for my own selfish pleasure.
It just wasn't my style.
Not anymore; not at this stage of my life, at least.
Mackenzie was beautiful, sweet, smart, funny, compassionate,
and lived three miles from me. She was the total package. But all
I felt for her was a mild attraction. Mackenzie was everything
that I should want, so why didn't I?
Then I realized, while driving home that evening, that sleeping
with a random girl - even a nice, clean one like Mackenzie - as a
means into forgetting about all the loneliness I felt, whatever
social life I had came to a screeching halt. I appreciated her
beauty and kindness, but had no real interest. I had no idea why,
either. It became a running theme for two years, and I had stayed
totally celibate until Alexa stepped into my life back in June and
promptly knocked me off of my feet.
Because I definitely saw a future with Alexa.
I sat back in my chair here at the restaurant and decided to
shift the focus from Mackenzie and what did (or did not) happen
between us in the past. "What are you doing for Christmas, Mike?"
Me? In a few hours, I was going to pick Alexa up from her parents'
house in Overland Park and then take her to my own folks' home in
Pleasant Grove for a Christmas Eve dinner and gift exchange. We
were actually going to spend the night there - Alexa in my old
bedroom from when I was growing up, and probably the living room
sofa for me - before I took her back to Overland Park for another
family party in the morning. We were staying late as is, and
Alexa accepted Mom's offer to just spend the night and then leave
in the morning. Needless to say, I had not been this excited for
Christmas since I was still with Suzi back in 2003.
"You going to wake up in the morning with a blonde and a
brunette in your Christmas stocking?" I asked Mike with a smirk,
realizing that joke sounded even worse after I actually said it.
"Nah, man. My mom and dad, my sister, one of my brothers, are
coming into town tonight from Colorado for the holiday." Now I
truly did feel like an idiot for asking such a stupid question.
Mike was spending time with his family, too? Good for him.
"We're all going to have a family reunion at my place tomorrow,
man, and I'm actually paying to get it catered. Took me a while
to find a place that will actually cater on Christmas Day."
"You going to have a date for the big reunion?"
Mike had a mischievous look in his dark eyes and flashed that
hundred-kilowatt smile of his. He was such a player; so smooth.
"I don't know, dude. Can't decide between Carolyn or Barbara."
I stifled a laugh. "Why not take them both?"
"I did that the other night, man!" he said in all seriousness,
and I nearly spit my coffee out as a result. "Those two girls
together, man... WOW. It was something else! I'm STILL sore
from the things those two crazy chicks did to me."
* * *
Alexa was extremely sociable and oftentimes the centerpiece of
attention wherever she went, but I could tell later that afternoon
that she was nervous about meeting up with my entire family for
Christmas Eve in Pleasant Grove. Not only that, but Alexa had
worked hard the past two weeks at a holiday job at _Oak Park Mall_
during her college's winter recess and was still recuperating from
a badly pulled muscle in her left leg that she suffered while
cheerleading during a Jayhawks' football game last month. No
matter how she sat in my 2011 _Jeep Wrangler_ as we zoomed along
U.S. Interstate 70 toward my parents' place, I could tell Alexa's
leg was really bothering her, causing her to fidget and shift in
her seat. I had been treating it since just after Thanksgiving.
"Baby, come here." I reached across the center console of the
_Jeep_ and pulled Alexa closer. I wanted to bring her into my
lap, but I knew that would not be the brightest thing to do.
"I can't sit here," she said, acting as if the idea seemed silly
to her. "You're driving."
Ignoring her comment, I used my right arm and hand to lovingly
(and safely) cradle Alexa against my side. I was gentle and caring
with her, as always. I plugged earbuds into her smartphone and put
one in her left ear so she could listen to the latest billboard
smash hit from Carrie Underwood, one of her favorite musicians.
"Better?" I planted a soft kiss on Alexa's lips, replacing her
mild reluctance with a sense of belonging exactly where she was.
"I've got you, sweetheart," I reassured her. "I know working at
the mall these past few weeks has been rough on you and your leg
feels really bad today. Close your eyes and try to rest. We
still have 15 miles to go. Close your eyes, baby."
Surprisingly enough, Alexa fell asleep rather quickly. Soon,
though, I had to wake her once we were at our destination.
"You okay?" I had parked in front of an enormous plantation
style house with a wraparound porch and Christmas decorations
everywhere. The lawn, as usual, was perfectly manicured. Wreaths
and holiday figurines lined the walkway up to the front door. I
grew up in this grand old house and had so many fond memories here.
My parents, my sister, my two brothers. All of my old friends. The
house looked warm and inviting, just as I had always remembered it.
"Yeah, I'm okay." Still, Alexa seemed a bit squeamish.
I leaned across the seat and cupped the back of her neck,
drawing her closer. "I love you. THEY will love you. It's not
like you haven't met people from my family before."
"But I haven't met up with them all at the same time before."
She shook her head, overcome with anxiety. "I'm going to keep my
promise to you, Jeremy. I'm leaving my phone here in your _Jeep_
overnight. I'm going to have a text-free rest of the day. I told
Mom and Dad if there are any emergencies, they are to call your
phone. Merissa is to call you too. I told her, if something pops
up. I just want to concentrate on you and your family today."
"That's awesome, Lexi. Thank you. I love hearing that."
"You're welcome."
I pressed my lips to hers, drew away, and came back for more,
taking the kiss deeper and practically crawling over the console
to hold her. Greedy sounds slipped from my lungs as my hands
pushed into her hair, wanting to refocus her nervous energy into
heat and excitement. Could we just skip the family party and stay
right here in the driveway, making out until the morning?
A knock sounded on the window, and Alexa jumped. I groaned and
glared at an older, attractive brunette - Janae, my 49-year-old
sister, and perhaps my biggest supporter in life. Behind her stood
a tall, smiling man with blond hair as shaggy as Mike's. Tom.
The door opened and Janae leaned in. "Jesus, Jer. Let the poor
girl breathe, will you? Hi there. How have you been, Lexi? It's
good to see you again." She patted the man's hand resting on her
shoulder and said, "This is my husband, Tom, but most people call
him Timmy." Not me, though. "We've been married since 1988."
"How's it going?" Tom said with a friendly smile.
"Hi," Alexa returned, blushing. "It's nice to meet you."
"Hey, sis. Hey, Tom." I stole another kiss from Alexa and
lowered my voice. "You'll like Tom... Timmy. He's as genuinely
nice and personable as any one human being can possibly be. He's
ALWAYS laughing. And you've already met Janae in the past."
"I want to meet your WHOLE family."
Janae reached for Alexa's hand and helped her from the car. "I
heard your leg has been giving you some trouble lately."
"It has, but your brother has been amazing. Without Jeremy, I
probably would have pushed myself and hurt it even more. He has
done a terrific job with various muscle treatments and medicines.
I originally hurt it at the Kansas-Missouri football game at
Arrowhead Stadium the Saturday after Thanksgiving."
"What happened?" Tom inquired.
"She got a little too overzealous trying a new cheerleading
stunt at the game and suffered a grade two pull in her quadriceps,"
I answered. "It's getting better and we're hoping she can return
to cheerleading by the end of January. Basketball cheerleading."
"Quadriceps? Isn't that the thigh?"
"Yes."
"Is grade two bad? Is it serious?"
"It's bad, but not serious, no," I informed Tom. "Grade three
is a complete rupture and would've required surgery."
"Listen at Jer go when it comes to anything medical. Always the
doctor." Janae smirked and slipped an arm around Alexa, adding,
"You can lean on me on the way inside and tell me all about how you
and Jer are going to get married and live happily ever after."
"Janae!" I warned. I had not even asked Alexa to marry me yet!
Janae laughed and focused on Alexa. "If Jer thinks that I'm not
going to be nosy and ask questions after he brings a woman home
for the first time in six years, he has another thing coming."
Alexa seemed nervous again, but she had always loved Janae and
her outgoing personality. She glanced back over her shoulder at
me and I offered her an innocent shrug of the shoulders. Tom and
I followed them to the house, carrying bags of holiday gifts.
As we ascended the porch steps, the front door opened and a
light-haired man stepped out, his head held high, inquisitive eyes
staring down at us. A woman with a mass of gray curls atop her
own head followed him out and gasped, bringing a smile to the man's
face, softening all of his rough edges at once.
"You're here!" Mom reached for Alexa, hugging her as tight as
Alexa's own mother would. "I'm so happy you could make it for our
little family celebration and holiday dinner. Oh, William... look
at her! Isn't she lovely?"
Dad opened his arms and embraced Alexa warmly. "Welcome to our
home, sweetheart. Stay a while; make yourself comfortable."
I sighed. "Thank you for inviting her along with me."
"We're thrilled that you and Alexa are here," Mom said as she
pulled me into a hug of our own. "Together!"
"Hi Mom." I kissed her cheek. "Sorry we're running a little
late. Lexi had things to do with her own family this morning, and
I went to lunch with Mike and exchanged presents with him."
"That Mike is a rabblerouser!" Mom instantly snapped, which made
me laugh. But then she returned to the topic at hand, saying, "Oh,
honey. We wouldn't care if it was three in the morning. All that
matters is that you're back home with us and you've brought sweet,
beautiful Alexa with you." Mom put her arm around Alexa and guided
her into the house as I embraced my father. Mom led Alexa into the
living room which had two big sofas, an assortment of comfortable
chairs, and a mix of eclectic art pieces and throw blankets. An
ornate mantel held a number of framed family photographs, and
across the room were glass doors overlooking the forest outside.
Of course, the glittering Christmas tree enlivened everything.
"Are you hungry?" Mom asked. "Thirsty? Do you need to elevate
your leg at all?"
"I'm fine, thank you. Does everybody know about my leg?" Alexa
asked, before seeming to realize the answer to her own question.
I was close with my whole family and yes, of course, everyone knew.
"I told Jer that I wanted to invite you to join me and the
girls - Janae, her daughter, Chelsea - the day after Christmas.
We're going shopping and then getting our nails done. Jer said
it would depend on if your leg was hurting or not." The look on
Mom's face turned thoughtful. "I hope that's okay, sweetie. He
was just looking out for you."
Mom had only met Alexa two other times, yet she already wanted
to include her in her plans? Alexa, I could tell, warmed all over
at the mere thought. "I would love that, Mrs. [Last Name]."
"Pssst. Call me Judith."
"In case Jer didn't warn you, there are no secrets in this
family," Janae mused. "The day Jer met you back in June, Lexi,
he called me that night. He sounded so excited. I knew something
had changed. JER had changed. Of course I had to pry every little
detail out of him about how you and him met each other that day."
"And then tell everyone else?" I shook my head.
"Well, yeah, of course." Janae rolled her eyes. "DUH! I
hadn't heard Jer so happy, so optimistic, in YEARS."
I nuzzled against Alexa's neck and said, "I'm happier with this
girl than I've ever been with anyone in my whole, entire life."
I knew my family saw my feelings for Alexa written all over my
face. There was no masking how I felt. I had a doubter amongst
them (Hudson), but I was not going to listen to his negativity,
his pessimistic thoughts, because of the age difference between
Alexa and I. Hudson thought it was far too great. But I was done
listening to all the nay-sayers.
"We're all pulling for you and Jer," Janae explained to Alexa.
"It's obvious just how happy the two of you are together."
Tom reached for Janae and said, "Careful with what you say,
bae. It took Jer forever to find a new girlfriend and you're
going to scare her off."
"ADVICE coming from a mountain man from Kentucky who has hugged
more trees than women?" I teased, nudging Tom's elbow.
"I love my tree hugger," Janae proclaimed.
Mom smiled at Dad. "It's good to see the kids so happy."
"It sure is. But I'm afraid it's time for this old man to
return to the kitchen and get to work on the sweet potato and
eggplant casserole." I smiled at those words, trying to recall
the last time I enjoyed Christmas dinner here at _home_ with no
meat as part of the buffet menu. It was just another way that
Mom and Dad had taken care of Alexa today, and were looking out
for her best interests. She was a vegan and refused to eat meat,
poultry and most dairy items, thus the main course was going to
be packed with roasted veggies and chickpeas, tomatoes, chili,
garlic and various spices. No meat at all. Dad insisted on it.
Again he focused on Alexa, and this time held her by the
shoulders and gazed thoughtfully into her eyes. "Judith and I
sure are glad you're here. And I want to reiterate, make
yourself at home. Our home is your home. You're spending the
night, yes? Sleep in, raid the refrigerator overnight if you
want, watch television, listen to music. We only have one rule.
It's a hard and fast rule, so listen up."
Alexa gulped her throat. "Oh?"
"Dad...?"
"Settle down, son." He placed a hand on my shoulder, his eyes
darting between the two of us. "Would you like to tell Alexa what
that rule is?"
"All I know," Janae said, "is don't try sneaking out late at
night to go on a date with your boyfriend because Carl will rat
on you." Janae made reference to my older brother, Carl, and his
tendency of getting her into trouble some three decades ago while
they were in high school together. He always _told_ on her.
"What boyfriend is this?" Tom asked Janae, suddenly acting all
jealous and offended. "You need to tell me about this boyfriend!"
Everyone laughed.
"Come on now, William," Mom said. "Alexa probably wants to sit
down and relax that leg."
Dad nodded and gave Alexa a smile. "Our rule is simple. Once
you've been part of this family, for an hour or a day, a year, a
lifetime, you're always welcome in this house. Never forget that."
Alexa breathed a sigh of relief and offered Dad a grateful smile
and hug. I then slipped my arm around her waist, pulling her close
and tight. "Welcome to my life, Miss America."
The love in the room amongst everyone was so thick that I wanted
to wrap myself up in it and never leave. Alexa must have felt the
same way, because without hesitation or embarrassment, she put her
arms around my neck and said, "I'm think I'm going to like being a
part of this family from now on."
* * *
"Let's explore," Alexa said to me much later in the afternoon
as we lounged within my parents' family room downstairs. Dinner
had come and gone, but the big gift exchange was still an hour or
so away and Alexa wanted to check out the farm where I grew up.
By now, my entire family had arrived for the holiday celebration,
finally giving her the opportunity to meet all of my siblings and
get to know their significant others and some of their children.
Hudson questioned every move I made in life and oftentimes it was
annoying, but it was his way of looking out for me. Carl was
quiet and visiting with his family from Salt Lake City while Janae,
of course, was the concerned, watchful older sister. She and
Hudson still lived right here in Pleasant Grove.
Alexa was also learning just how small and tight-knit our little
corner of the world was. Susan, Hudson's wife of nearly 22 years,
worked as the head nurse at Mike's medical practice. Janae's
oldest son, David, was in training to become a Navy SEAL while her
youngest child, Jeff, wanted to follow in his brother's footsteps
once graduating from high school in four years.
Alexa, who did not have any brothers or sisters of her own,
seemed to find the open affection of my siblings - really, my
entire family - comforting. Despite claiming otherwise, I knew
that not having any brothers or sisters of her own had left a huge
void in Alexa's life. But her parents were so young when they had
her (16 and 17), and simply raising Alexa was challenging enough
for them. Money was tight, resources very limited; thus it was
next to impossible for Bob and Angela to have had another child.
But around the dinner table today here in my own family home,
someone was always brushing the hand of their significant other,
stealing a quick kiss or passing a furtive glance. It was such a
nice thing. Alexa definitely noticed it, and so did I. I had
been on my own for so long and I often wondered if I could one
day be as happy as Janae, Hudson and Carl all obviously were.
But today? Today, I got to join in on the fun with those subtle
hand touches at the dinner table, those fast, quick kisses and
warm smiles. This afternoon, I was again reminded of just how
wonderful a life with Miss America would be.
I also found it humorous that Jeff, my 14-year-old nephew, had
an obvious crush on Alexa. I was not upset at him for it, either.
Honestly, who could blame him? If I was in Jeff's shoes, I would
have a serious crush on Alexa too. She was smoking hot!
I retired to the downstairs with Alexa after dinner and we
cuddled up on a lounge chair that overlooked the forest out back.
I put pillows underneath her left leg to keep it elevated while
various members of my family stopped by to see how we were doing.
Everyone seemed to have broken off into smaller groups for now.
"Explore? You sure you're up for the extra walking?"
"I am."
I smiled at her. "That's fine, but only under one condition.
You let me massage some pain relief ointment into your leg after
we are done. I'm going to wrap it, too."
Alexa blushed, but then nodded her head in approval. Whenever
I offered to do nice, sweet things like that for her, she would
invariably melt and turn to mush before my very eyes. But I had
no secret agenda in offering to do those things. My sole
motivation right now was that her discomfort was kept at a bare
minimum. I hated to see Alexa in any degree of pain whatsoever.
In fact, I was already at the point - well beyond it, actually -
of not being able to imagine my life without Alexa in it. I had
missed out on so much thus far in life, but she was helping me
make up for it in a hurry. I could not mess up what we had and
possibly lose her as a result. It would crush me.
Do you know just how lonely it is to go to sleep night after
night in a massive, king-sized bed, with no one to share it with?
I do. You can stretch out in any direction - even sideways - and
there is still ample room when solo. It honestly feels like being
in the middle of nowhere. How about to live in a huge, sprawling,
family-style home, yet be the only person in it? To go to work,
day in and day out, with no real purpose? No one to come home to?
Or to go to Christmas and other holiday dinners every year
with your family, and be the only one without a spouse, let alone
a date, present? To feel the pangs of jealousy as you watch...
"Jeremy?" Alexa said, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Yes? Sorry." I vigorously shook my head in an effort to clear
the mental cobwebs. "You want to walk around the farm?"
"You got lost there for a moment." With concern in her eyes,
Alexa opened her arms and embraced me.
"I was just thinking about how happy I am today... right now.
I've never had anything like what I have with you in my life.
Lexi, you're... you're my angel. My Christmas angel." I shook
my head yet again and then suppressed a nervous laugh of my own.
"I've spent my... spent my entire... life, wa-waiting for you."
Alexa flashed a smile and again hugged me, but this time did
not say a word. It was exactly what I needed. Some of the things
I said to her were better left unanswered. Obviously, I was not
afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve whenever I was around her.
Not wanting to get mired too deep in emotions, I helped Alexa
to her feet and took her over to the door. "Put your coat on,
baby. Let's explore the farm before it's time to exchange gifts."
"You and your family have spoiled me rotten today." Alexa went
up on her tiptoes and kissed me. "Tomorrow I get to return the
favor when you and I have Christmas Day dinner with my mom and
dad in Overland Park." She paused and added, "I think Merissa and
her brothers are going to drop by tomorrow too and say hello.
They live just a few houses down the street from me, you know."
"That'd be wonderful. Always good to see Merissa."
The temperature was a bit chilly as Alexa and I walked hand in
hand through a path in the woods to a secluded area where a small
lake pooled in between two canopies of trees. There was a narrow
strip of grass and about 20 feet of waterfront. Many eons ago,
Dad once took me here as a kid and it quickly turned into one of
my favorite spots on the entire property.
"This farm is so huge and there are so many things on it to do,"
I explained to Alexa, "places to explore, that I'm certain even
after all these years, I haven't discovered everything yet."
"I wouldn't mind living on a farm like this one day," she said
in response. I had to file that one away in the old memory bank.
"If for no other reason, the animals! Being on a farm would give
me an easy excuse to have as many animals as I could possibly want.
Cats, dogs, cows, goats, rabbits, chickens... even pigs." She
flashed a smile and ended, "I've always wanted my own pet pig."
"You got one already!" I exclaimed. "ME!"
"Jeremy!" She broke out into a fit of joyous, musical laughter.
Blue-gray moonlight was starting to fall over the lake and all
of the surrounding wilderness. The sounds of frogs and crickets,
animals scurrying across the forest floor, seeking warmth and
refuge, and leaves brushing in the crisp breeze were all around
us. I again took Alexa's hand and continued our journey elsewhere.
As she walked beside me, with her hair hanging over her eyes,
Alexa looked so sweet and innocent. Like a little country bumpkin,
even. But when she brought my hand to her lips and kissed it, I
knew it wasn't her looks that made me take notice. It was ALL of
her. Maybe it was the emotions from having her spend the day with
my family and feeling so happy, or the way she seemed to care so
deeply about my well being - almost as much as I did hers - or
maybe it was just the simple fact that I was head over heels in
love with her and never wanted to lose that wonderful feeling.
Whatever the reason, Alexa soon validated those thoughts when
her own emotions suddenly spilled out. "I never really thought
about what I wanted in a boyfriend, but if I had, you'd surpass
anything I could dream up. I love you, Jeremy, and I appreciate
you sharing your family with me today. This is my first Christmas
Eve away from Mom and Dad EVER, but I'm so happy it's with you.
Only you. I'm hoping for a lifetime of these moments with you in
the future." Alexa looked up at the starry sky. "And right
now..." She met my gaze again. "I just want you to know all of
that. What I'm feeling, what I'm thinking. Everything."
...Wow...
Moments later, we came upon railroad tracks that were abandoned
long ago. Green plants and spiky grasses, a bit frosty from the
December weather, sprouted up between aged wooden ties overgrown
with wildflowers and weeds.
"This is beautiful," Alexa said as we walked beside the tracks.
"Dad used to take me hiking all over the farm when I was a kid
and Clinton Park, which is basically right next door. These old
railroad tracks? Dad says trains used to pass through here on a
regular basis 70 years ago before the was farm built in the 1940's.
As I got older, into my high school years, I'd come here - this
very spot - when I wanted peace and quiet. There is another place,
out by the river, that I used to sneak off to with old girlfriends.
It's a creek up ahead. That's what I want to show you."
"Girlfriends?" she laughed, crinkling her nose for effect. "So
you're saying if you and I were the same age back when you were in
school and we knew each other, I would've had to COMPETE for you?"
"Girl, you are SO wrong." I hauled her in for a kiss. "If
you'd been mine 20 years ago, I would have never let you go.
There would have been zero competitions going on."
"I love that you think so. Tell me more about these FRAUDULENT
GIRLFRIENDS you used to bring out here."
Flowers gave way to tufts of grass, and the dirt beneath our
feet turned soft. Without the cover of greenery, the railroad
ties appeared rotted and broken.
"My number-one girlfriend back in those days, when I was in
high school, was Lindsay [Last Name]," I told Alexa, feeling the
exact opposite way now than I did earlier today when Mike was
questioning me about Mackenzie. I actually felt comfortable
telling Alexa anything and everything she wanted to know about
any of my past flames. I had the overwhelming desire to be
totally honest with her. Our relationship was built on honesty.
"You remind me of Lindsay in certain ways, Lexi. She looked a
lot like you, was very nice, sweet, grounded. A family girl."
"What ever happened to her? Why did you break up?"
I grimaced. "She fell into the wrong crowd, I guess, after we
graduated from high school. Started getting involved with drugs
and alcohol, and it forever changed her." Alexa made a face as I
added, "Haven't seen Lindsay in over a decade. Last I heard she
got married, but later divorced because her husband abused her."
"Do YOU drink at all, Jeremy? I KNOW you haven't ever done
any drugs. You're too squeaky-clean for that."
"Generally, I drink and get totally blasted one night a year."
Alexa laughed. "And what night is that?..."
"Tonight," I admitted. "Christmas Eve. This is the first year
in a long time when Mom and Dad did not serve any alcohol along
with the holiday dinner. They did not want to make you feel
uncomfortable. They know that you're against the idea of even
trying any alcohol because of all those problems you had with
your heart when you were in the hospital three years ago. That,
and you're not even legally old enough - 19 - to drink yet."
"Christmas Eve is the only day that you drink? What about all
those times you went out to the bar with Mike? What did he call
it?" Alexa held back a laugh. "Mike said... he was MUFF HUNTING?"
I chuckled as well. "No alcohol. I'd order _Coke_, _Pepsi_.
My life was pretty mundane and boring until you came along. Mike
and I were just talking about that today at lunch, actually. He
said I was his wingman when he went out searching for new women."
"Tell me about another girlfriend you had. Someone other than
Lindsay. I know all about Suzi already. Someone else?"
"Hmmmmm... there was Amy [Last Name]," I offered. "Big Red,
I'd call her, because she had the most beautiful red hair. Like a
fire truck. Dated her in college. Good girl with a wild side,
and we really seemed to click, but it ultimately did not work out."
"Tell me another!"
I chuckled again. "Why are you so curious?"
"I want to know. I love hearing about your past! Things you
did, girls you dated when I was just a kid myself, or not even
born yet. I was born when you were about to be a senior in high
school, Jeremy. Back in August of 1991. I tell you everything
about me. Don't worry... I'm not going to become jealous or
anything. I'm not that type. I know I'm your girl."
"You have nothing to be jealous about. Trust me, babe."
"I know."
"Trish [Last Name]," I then said, adding another old girlfriend
to the list. "Knew her when I was in medical school, after college.
Super sweet, super nice girl, but was married to her career. Even
moreso than I am now. Studied Kinesiology. Trish was the first
girl that I seriously considered marrying, but she wanted no part
of it. All she wanted to do was work, study, advance her career."
Alexa giggled. "It seems impossible that you came across
someone who is even more of a workaholic than you are." She gave
me a playful, little pout and asked, "You wouldn't ever choose
your career - your medical practice - over me? Would you, Jeremy?"
I scoffed. "Of course not."
"Other than Suzi," she then said in a philosophical tone, "which
one of your past girlfriends did you LOVE the most?"
"I was never in love until I met you," I responded honestly,
yet Alexa already knew that. I had told her so several times in
the past. "I thought I was... but I wasn't."
"Humor me," she nodded. "You THOUGHT you were. Which one of
your prior girlfriends - other than Suzi - did you CARE about the
most? Was it Trish? You said you had thoughts of marrying her."
"It was Lindsay," came my admission. "We were young and I
thought we had a future, but when she started doing the alcohol
and particularly the drugs, she eventually chose that life over
me. Some guys she worked with at the grocery store got her mixed
up in them." I frowned, my heart straining with remorse. Lindsay,
like Suzi, was a delicate subject with me. "She was my first real
girlfriend." I frowned and shook my head. "Life moved on..."
"Whoa," Alexa suddenly said, glancing ahead of us. Moonlight
glistened off of the creek's rippling water. "That's so pretty."
She then pouted. "I'm not bringing up too many bad memories for
you? Am I, Jeremy? If so, we can stop talking about your past."
"No, I'm fine." And as long as Alexa was with me, that was the
truth. I was fine. None of those women could even hold a candle
to Alexa in my eyes anyway. My sole focus right now was her.
"I don't think you're really this ultra-lonely guy who has spent
all these years pining for love like you believe, Jeremy," she
mused, piquing my interest. "You could have had it if you wanted
it. You're still young, you're incredibly sexy, you have a good
job, and a wonderful, loving heart. You're everything that a girl
should look for in a guy, honestly. Mike has told me that women
hit on you, try flirting with you, on a regular basis. Constantly."
"You cannot trust half of what Mike says."
Alexa ignored my rebuttal, instead going on, "There's a bit of
loneliness, that factor, before you met me, I agree, but I honestly
think you've been hurt badly in the past by these girls. There's a
big difference between someone who is lonely and someone who has
been hurt so many times that it took them out of the dating game
for several years. What that BITCH Suzi did to you was terrible,
and NO ONE should ever have to experience that. And that Lindsay?
She chose a life of illegal drugs over you?" I sniffed my nose as
Alexa ended, "It's been six years since you were with Suzi, yes?"
"Yes," I croaked.
Alexa stopped walking and latched onto my wrist. "She hurt you,
Jeremy... destroyed you so much, that it took SIX YEARS for you to
actually WANT to date again. That's been your entire problem. Oh,
you poor thing." Alexa kissed my cheek and offered up an emotional,
heart-wrenching embrace. "I'm just glad that I'm the lucky girl you
chose. Right place, right time, I suppose. Guys like you aren't
supposed to be lonely. You've just been hurt one too many times."
"Oh, Lexi..." It did not take me six years to climb out of a
shell and re-enter the dating game. All it took was meeting Alexa.
She had completely blindsided me these past several months.
We stood by the flowing creek for a long time, simply hugging,
and when we finally made our way back to the house, everything was
pitch-black except for the sprinkling of moonlight. In about ten
minutes, she and I would sit down with my family in front of the
Christmas tree in the living room and exchange holiday gifts.
Alexa took my hand as we walked up the steps and onto the front
porch. "Jeremy, do you believe in fate?"
"You know I do."
She turned toward me and asked, "Do you believe in me?"
"More than I believe in fate."
Alexa smiled. "Then you know I'd never hurt you. I love you."
* * *
In the morning, I awoke to the sound of the doors to the living
room opening. Alexa was fast asleep, curled up against my side
here on the floor, bundled under several blankets next to the sofa.
The sun had just begun to rise, painting the sky with various
shades of morning light. Mom stepped into the living room wearing
an oversized robe. She ran a hand through her thick gray curls as
she sank down to the chair beside us and offered me her coffee mug.
I shook my head and whispered, "Thanks. I'm okay."
"Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you too."
Mom glanced thoughtfully at Alexa, and then she looked at me
the same way I'd seen her look at Janae, Hudson and Carl when they
had fallen in love with their respective spouses in the past. A
distinct look of parental relief and happiness rose in her eyes
and remained there. "Oh, Jer... I cannot believe you made the poor
girl sleep out here in the living room with you."
"I didn't," I told Mom quietly. "Falling asleep together in
the living room, watching television on a Friday night, has sort
of become our thing lately. Lexi wanted to stay out here with me.
She refused to go into my old bedroom and sleep on her own."
"Your THING," my mother grinned. "You have no idea how good it
sounds to hear you say that, my son, with regard to a special
lady." Her gaze dropped to Alexa again. "She's a sweetie, Jer.
You said she has no brothers or sisters? Just has her parents and
a good, close friend, her room-mate, she stays at college with?
The friend is like a sister to her?"
I smiled gently. "I'm hoping beyond hope that Lexi moves in
with me in Lake Quivira. Soon, too. Working on it, at least."
"Alexa looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky. Please
don't ever lose her. She is way too special to let slip away."
My arms tightened possessively around Alexa. "I won't, Mom. I
finally understand why Hudson changed for Susan and why Carl stayed
out in Utah with Brenda when he had the opportunity to come back
home when his job offered it. I would do anything for Lexi. I
would do anything to be with her, make her happy."
Mom sipped her coffee and gazed at the Christmas tree, a small
smile lifting her lips, yet her eyebrows tense. She rarely held
her tongue, yet sat silent right now for so long. Too long.
Finally, I asked, "You aren't going to say anything?"
She looked back at me with a tentative expression, a tear going
down her face. "My youngest child - my BABY - has finally found
his forever love. I don't want to jinx it."
"You can't jinx it, Mom." I pressed a kiss to the top of
Alexa's head. "It's fate. We were brought together."
"I thought you believed we create our own destiny in life."
"I used to think that, but how else can you possibly explain
me and Lexi coming across each other three separate times - in
three separate cities, even - the day we met? At _Perky's Cafe_,
at my medical practice and then the beach, outside my home, later
that night. A powerful force wanted us to be together."
"That powerful force was your heart. Her heart, too. Hearts
have a way of speaking across miles, great distances, but it takes
the strongest kind of love to hear them. The type of love you and
Alexa... Lexi, have together." Mom set her mug on the end table
and reclined back in the lounger. "You used to sleep out here in
the living room when you were younger."
"I remember."
"You were always falling asleep on the sofa and your father
would get so angry. He'd say you were ruining the couch and
that you should sleep in your bed."
"He was right."
Mom smiled. "You were a pill when you were growing up. You
and him would have your disagreements, but soon you and William
made up and you were out hiking with him or taking the boat to
the lake in Clinton Park. I miss those days so much."
"Those are some of my favorite memories. Maybe when it warms
up in the springtime, we can all go out on the boat again."
"I'm sure your father would love that." Mom finished her
coffee and pushed to her feet. "Speaking of your father, I need to
go wake him up. I know that you have plans to spend Christmas with
Alexa and her parents at their place, but will you at least stay
and let me fix breakfast? You and her could be out of here and on
the interstate to Overland Park by nine o'clock if you want."
"Of course, Mom." I reached up and took her hand. "If Lexi's
leg doesn't hurt tomorrow, I'll bring her back over so she can go
shopping with you, Janae and Chelsea. I can spend the day with
Dad, Hudson and Carl. But if her leg hurts too much, will you be
upset if she just stays home and relaxes it?"
"Why would I be upset? That's proof we did something right as
parents. You and her make that call. How bad is her leg, anyway?"
"It's okay. Just needs time to heal. She was stubborn and
wanted to work through the holidays for a little extra money,
mostly to buy gifts for everyone in her life. Spent way too much
time on her feet at the department store. But it was a seasonal
job, and now it's over. Now, she can rest... thank God."
"You're really worried about her."
"Yeah," I said quietly.
I had spent the past month worrying every single day about
Alexa and her injured thigh muscle. I even made her go through
three MRIs to confirm that it was not a tear or a partial rupture.
This was a new experience for me. I worried about my friends and
family, of course, but never before I had been as close with
someone as I was Alexa, and I was utterly amazed by the depth of my
concern for her. Likewise, I had a feeling that I had caused a
lot of worry for my parents over the years, and when Mom touched
my shoulder, I reached up and put my hand over hers.
"I'm sorry for all the times I caused you and Dad to worry."
"Are you under the misconception that you're DONE causing us
to worry?" She chuckled and patted my face. "Wait until you
have children of your own. You and Alexa, I'm sure. The worry
never ends, sweetheart, and that's a good thing. It means you
love them. Just how your father and I have always loved you."
Mom grinned once again. "Try to get some more sleep. The smell
of a good, hot breakfast drifting throughout the air should wake
you and Alexa up in about 45 minutes or so."
"Sounds great. Thank you for everything, Mom. Dad, too."
"It's been our pleasure."
Once Mom retreated and exited the living room, I inhaled a deep
breath and glanced down at the sleeping beauty nestled beside me.
Alexa was curled up by the corner of the couch, against my hip,
out like a light. Her blonde hair was fanned out behind her, and
her thick lashes rested gently on her creamy cheeks. I lost track
of how many nights I simply watched Alexa sleeping next to me over
the past few months. She was so gorgeous, and the sight was
intoxicating. Addicting. Watching her sleep felt like an illicit
drug of its own, but there was no cure for me. No coming back.
Smiling, I reached underneath the sofa and soon found the little
box with the ring inside that Grandma Callie had given to me five
years ago. I stashed it there last evening when Alexa and I were
watching _Miracle on 34th Street_, but made sure that she did not
notice me doing so. Again, I was close. But not yet.
Reaching down, I easily scooped Alexa into my arms, but did not
want to wake her. A soft mewing noise emanated from the back of
her throat and she nuzzled further into me, but otherwise continued
sleeping. I then held Grandma's ring before her right hand, its
diamonds and pearls glimmering in the morning twilight, and
proclaimed in my most hushed, humble whisper, "I never want to
spend another night without you and I never want to wake up again
without you right there next to me, by my side. You are much more
than my girlfriend, Alexandra Hope [Last Name], you are my life.
You are the sweetest, kindest, sexiest, smartest and most beautiful
woman in the universe. And now I truly believe that the sole reason
I was put on this Earth was to make you happy, to protect you, to
take care of you. I would be the luckiest guy in the world if you
would let me spend the rest of my life doing just that."
"I love you more today than I did yesterday and, even though I
cannot imagine how this will be possible, I'm sure I'll love you
more tomorrow than I do today. And so on... infinity."
Alexa continued sleeping, none of the words I just spoke to her
registering. That was fine. But I was glad I said them; got even
more of my feelings out in the open. Perhaps my official proposal
in the future may turn out to be something similar to that?
I may be sappy in certain ways, but honestly, I do not care.
This girl had my heart doing flip-flops. Alexa had me doing,
thinking, saying things... that I never thought I would.
Life was amazing. I felt so fulfilled, so energized.
Like a kid again.
Happy.
"This ring is going to look absolutely perfect on your finger,"
I then grinned, slipping its box back into my shirt pocket for
safe keeping. "Soon, sweetheart. I promise you. Soon..."
<<<- End of Chapter 06 ->>>
==---- -- -- -- - --- -- -- - - --- -- -- --- - -- - - - - --- -- ----==
"Recollections 2"
(c) 2017 Kaadorix
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