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Below are selected letters, always edited to preserve anonymity. Some are from the storiesonline.net feedback system.

Just read the latest ... and ... of course ... you
left us all hanging. I know that's just a
technique you writers employ but damn ... it was
getting really interesting! <laugh>

Speaking of payments ... we're having our
national holiday celebrating our independence
today. I saw some youngsters returning from one
of the local parks ... where someone was doing
face painting. One girl was about nine and her
sister was around five. Both were painted as
exotic felines. If you were ever to intermix a
furry theme ... with your favourite genre ... it
could get very ... erm ... hot? Mind you, they
were considerably younger than your current
heroine.

Anyhoo ... I really enjoyed this latest
instalment ... and am eagerly awaiting the next
one. (Is there any chance that Sangrelysia will
never end?)

Oh well ... we can only wish.

Thanks again, Auntie Viv.

Regards,

G

Good evening, Auntie V;

You have such a lyrical writing style ... your
words just flow along ... without apparent effort
or stress. Personally, I think the combination of
magic and Mf genres lend itself to your gifts ...
and I also believe you can exploit those same
gifts for all they're worth.

By the way, the above doesn't mean that I don't
know that writing can often mean tons of sweat and
loads of emotional energy. Still ... you make it
look so effortless and almost dreamy. All of
this is an unmistakeable sign of skill and
determination.

Thank you so much for your gifts to us. We
readers get so much for so little contribution.

Regards,

G

You are right about November - I was talking about the Presidential in '08 where apparently Hillary is the great Democratic hope.

I'll be surprised if there is a leadership change in congress this year.

Sorry, even if I am a Californian, I can't imagine Pelosi and Boxer being in leadership.

(Opinions are like rectums, everyone has one!)

Keep writing, wish I could but I sure enjoy the reading

R

It would have been a lot better if you'd kept
politics out of it.

The elections are over, there will be another in
a bit over 2 years.

I have read your efforts in the past, have you
marked in my favorites, and just wanted to thank
you for practicing your craft in a manner that
reaches out and not only entertains, but touches
places, not often reached.

Thank you,

-OL

Excellent! I gave your story a 10. At the time I
voted the score for it was 8.38 and I'm astounded
it isn't higher. The story is very well written,
hilarious and sexy. That's a difficult
combination that would be beyond the abilities of
the vast majority of writers. I've read several
of your stories and I think this one is the best.

B

If you had half the fun writing this as me
reading, you must be a very happy girl

I'm sure you are a teacher for english
literature in real life.

I would like to get this stuff you are smoking ;)

I simply cannot believe the low score for this
story.....although I should quit being surprised
how certain types of stories automatically get
rejected by some readers...(making you wonder why
they even bother to read them).....nonetheless, I
thought this a fine, evocative story, well
written and I personally am glad to have read it!
Thanks for writing, J

I'm sorry that this story has recived such a low
score. I think it is as good as many I have read
here that are well in the 9+ range. Some readers
just don't get it, and unfortunatly there are
others out to lower authers rating. I did my part
to raise your score and I hope others read this
and think the same. It is hard work writing and
for all those who don't pay, they should at
least be polite and if they don't like it, fuck
off! LOL

J

Good evening, Mistress of the Night;

Aha! Demand a recount. Those other 21 voters
obviously don't know Excellence when they read
it!

An intriguing, not totally predictable but
defintitely an erotic little story, Auntie Viv.
I enjoyed this one very much.

Your voting average is only 8 ... and that leads
me to think there're loads of readers who don't
know how lucky they are to have you writing your
stories.

Thank you for all the effort you put into this
one, Viv. Great fun!

Regards,

G____

HOLY GOD!!!

A story, of what should be the most forbiden
activity, told with caring sensitivity. One of
the most captivating short stories that I have
rea; maybe ever written. Dispite the nature of
the story I was compelled to rate this as
Excelent.

An artistic presentation.

G

Difinitly a "9" - Very Good. The inuendo is
most erotic!

G

A nice twist to constant theme.

Now I'm wondering what the agents are thinking,
and what they will do.

G

Hi Vivian:

I found the story (not hard, just had to go back to your asstr site), so the attached jpeg has a graphical description of what I did. Your translation below was pretty close. X2S is "O" and, my mistake, +1-3 should have been +1-4, and hence a "D".

C____

Vivian Darkbloom wrote:

>
> Not sure what X2S is... So I'm getting:
>
> X1-3, G
> X2S
> X2S,
> +1-3 C
> +2-2, J
> X1-3, G
> +1-2 B
>
> Still a bit mystified, I'm afraid.
>
> ~~Vivian
>

Hi there, Viv;

Interesting chapter ... a little bit of cosmology
... a little bit of sex(-ual attraction) ... a
little bit of magic ... a little bit of punning
... all to the enjoyment of your readers.

I know that ... at some point ... this story will
end ... but Jeeze ... I wish it could go on
forever!

Thanks very much for gifting us with your
writing. You do such a damn good job of it ...
and I'm sure I'm not the only one who is a
devoted admirer.

And ... the genre's okay, too.

Regards,

G

Hey Vivian,

Ah, and she incorporates the "how she doin'
that" question. That's, what, three times
stuff I asked about got directly answered in the
story? Cool! <struts like proud rooster> ;-)

The techno-magic mix you mention in the blog can
be tricky. I mean, magic is the art of making
the impossible happen, largely limited by only
finding the right rare spell or intuiting the
proper, unique circumstances. Science sets up
limits on the possible, but gives rules for
devising formulas for anything & specializes in
predicting events. Combining the two either
makes something completely unworkable or a world
without any real limitations, neither great for
storytelling frameworks.

(I found this out the hard way when a friend gave
me his RPG system for the techno-magic world he'd
come up with to develop for him. I had the better
science background, and he prefered to just
role-play in that setting, not run it.)

Well, anyways, sorry to hear the story is drawing
to a close so soon. I'll just enjoy it while
it's still here. Thanks for sharing the great
read!

K

Hi!
One of your stories involved a visual coding for letters of the alphabet. The first one was, as I recall, X where a,b,c,d went into the V shaped spaces in the X, starting at the top. To do it without the visual code in ASCII (text alone) you specify which shape (say X, but since there are two "X's" you must specify which one, first or second, and then the position numberically. Hence my coding in the message. Less mystification now?

C_____

Vivian Darkbloom wrote:
>
> Hi C_____
>
> Thank you for your supportive comments about my stories.
>
> >>
> What Fun! X1-3,X2S X2S,+1-3 +2-2, X1-3, +1-2 !
> <<
>
> I confess, I'm completely puzzled. Did I miss something?
>
> Thank you for reading...
>
> ~~Vivian

still wonder where this will go to m8

good reading, thanks

Hi Vivian,
Thank you for your prompt and polite reply. I had to smile at your response to my comments about Sylvia: you used exactly the same sort of words I would have if a reader had made a similar comment about one of my characters. The biter bit :-)
I hadn't noticed the lack of a verb in the sentence I highlighted: my word processor is always complaining about the same sort of thing. I'm not fixated on verbs. What stuck me was that that it read 'clumsily'. Your prose is fluid and flows easily off the page into the mind but that sentence didn't, imho. I don't want to make a big thing about it and appear to be hyper-critical so perhaps I should just shut up.
I'm glad you have the story mapped out. I wish I was as disciplined.
Best regards,
C______
Vivian Darkbloom writes:
> Hi C____
>
> Thank you for your detailed analysis. I appreciate your spending the
> time, especially since it is a story outside of your preferred genre.
> As you point out, the opening sentence of chapter 3 has no verb. I
> should probably fix it. I suspect there are many such loose ends
> strewn about, but the first sentence, dear me.
> Sylvia is a precocious one, it's true. Then, growing up in
> Sangrelysia, you know how it goes. Something about the magic in the
> air, and perhaps time moves along differently, so at age ten she might
> be ahead of other girls you know.
> The reason for progressively posting chapters to SOL isn't the download
> counts, but the responses. At this point, they're what I need to get
> the story out. The outline is all mapped out already, so it's just a
> matter of keeping the flow of words going, so having reader feedback is
> a helpful way to stay engaged.
> Thanks for reading, and again for your comments!
> ~~Vivian

Thanks, Auntie Viv.

"Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart's desire; the
other is to get it."
--George Bernard Shaw

Vivian,

This story is interesting and I am enjoying it. I
think different authors have their unique style
and there will always be readers who do not like
this or the other.

The only critique I have is that this story has
two dominant characters and you might want to add
a couple more. Even Roderick, the king etc. are
weakly defined and characterized next to the the
magician and Sylvia.

Focus on the story, add some more characters,
plots, twists and turns. Most important enjoy
yourself.

Still enjoying this one. Especially with the
occasional jabs toward traditional Sword and
Sorcery stories. I'd prefer it that the princess
be older than 10 but I guess the relationship is
ok in this universe so who am I to complain. Love
your descriptions. Ignore those who complain about
your language.

good, interesting chapter m8

please do go on, thanks

I do not, as a matter of general course, pay any
attention to stories involving sex with
pre-pubescent girls (or boys, come to that). I
do not score them - I am at one with you on your
blog point - I simply do not read them. We each
have our likes and dislikes but imho,
pre-pubescent sex smacks of child abuse. That,
however, is my problem, not yours. I have the
same reaction to torture, snuff, scat and a
number of other topics though, naturally, not for
the same reason.

I do, however, enjoy fantasy - true fantasy born
of the deep and vivid imagination of the author,
not the tired and tedious sword-and-sorcery
rubbish that weighs down the shelves of the local
bookstore - so I started to read your story. I am
immensely glad I did for you approach the genre
with a light and deft hand. Your style is
oblique, reminding me a bit of Moorcock, though
less prosey, and others. Your characters are
nicely drawn, almost pastiches without descending
into caricature, and you have a sure touch with
humour. Your descriptions of sex are positively
scintillating. I get the definite impression
that this is a story that does not take itself
too seriously while, at the same time, being a
jolly good read.

If I could take the liberty of introducing a
couple of minor criticisms... The first is that,
on occasion, your local colour is just a trifle
heavy-handed and stands out from the rest of your
delicately-phrased prose. For example, at the
start of Ch.3 you desribe the smells of the
market-place. You begin, "The stench of the
afternoon marketplace � of hay...". I felt
that something like, "The afternoon market-place
smelt as afternoon market-places always do - of
hay..." would have been defter. The second
point relates to Sylvia. I know you have
explicitly stated she is a 10yo. I feel, perhaps
incorrectly, that you say that out of habit rather
than conviction for, by her actions, speech and
reasoning, she exceeds that age by several years.
As my alter-ego is currently experiencing his
third child pass through the teenage years, I
have to say that Sylvia is not consitent with the
age she is portayed. 13 I would accept, 12 at a
long pinch, but not 10. I know this is fantasy,
but still...

Having made these minor comments, I would not
like you to think I do not like the story. I do
and am looking forward to finding out more about
the red dragon, the whereabouts of Sylvia's
parents and the ultimate fate of the wicked King
- unpleasant I hope.

Finally, would you permit me to give you a word
of advice: don't write and post by chapter.
Write whole sections even if each chapter if
posted singly. I know continuous posting keeps
the hit rate up but it can lead to the pitfall of
churning where the author loses track of the
overall structure of his/her story and keeps
churning out the words like a soap-opera. It
seems to happen to SoL authors with depressing
regularity. You need to keep your story tight
and terse, each word being carefully considered
and laid delicately on the page.

Forgive me if this is an attempt to teach ones
mother's mother how to extract the interior of a
hen's produce by suction.

Best regards,

As always looking foreward to the next installment
in this venture. Wonderful use of analogy and
visualization.

Hey Vivian,

Aha, got both the butterfly & hostage aspects
attended to! Cool!

Though, while they wouldn't have love missives,
there's always spy reports & correspondance
between co-conspirators -- and <shudder>
inter-office memos! ;-D An origami shape they
might use there to hide in plain sight would
probably be like a beetle, though with a
corresponding "bug zapper" to act similarly to
a firewall. (Probably only lets notes thru with
the correct code or blood splashed on it. Or
both.)

By the way, in your description in the last
chapter about the metaspheres, it occurs to me to
ask just HOW Elwrong's spells are working? If
they are spells she learned in the evil realm,
wouldn't her casting them in Sangrelysia be like
trying to run a normal Windows program on a Mac
(or vice versa)? She's either using local
spells or has found a way to interface into her
home metasphere. And since her home sphere
sounds a lot like a very virus-infected computer
system, that could do some nasty stuff to "the
realm of St Lily of the Ashes" (stretched pun,
based on San, Grey & Lys).

[Which reminds me. Might the locals give their
place a nickname, given the name is so long?
Just curious, since we Pennsylvanians often call
home "P-A". Maybe they'd say "
'Grelys"???]

Okay, enough with the probing questions and
insightful suggestions. <roll eyes> Sorry, I get
kind of into all these theoretical questions about
stories I like, especially those dealing with how
magical or psionic/psychic systems might work.
(I'm even worse with time travel tales.) Not
nitpicking or anything, just I seem to equate
interest with the need to consider the larger
ramifications of what the author sets up. By how
much I've written here, looks like you're doing
a good job! <g>

Seriously, looking good, madame! Very intriguing
story. Thanks for sharing this great read!

I like the way you are writing this. Over the top
descriptions, lots of adjectives and adverbs, and
quite a bit of humor. I find the setting fun ...
"ancient" sounding castle but animated door
knocker asking for credit cards and security
codes. A young but surprisingly wise sounding
princess. A wise but surprisingly vulnerable
wizard. The gaggle of "ladies" in waiting
asking "are we there yet?"

Good job

Witty, Charismatic and quite entertaining. Keep up with this style and you will attain the ranks of fame with the dezins of this abode.

Hi Vivian,

Nice and interesting.

Please keep up with your writing of this intrigueing and entertaining story.

Sorry that your scores are not what you might wish them to be.

Your prose is wonderful and your characters witty.

If I were to guess, I would say that you may have some unpopular themes in your stories and you may be whimiscal enough to upset some of those who would otherwise be totally enamored of your work.

I just read a bit of a couple of your stories and am working through Sangrelysia and I love the wizard and his whimiscal actions against the sovereign. The same whimsy detracts from the intensity of the tale and may hurt your score.

I think the sex scenes with the young girls may also detract from the quality of your work.

For what it is worth, I know of several of my favorite authors on SOL who suffer anguish over the ratings.

Love the work. Please keep it up.

Heh, King George the Buffoon. Gee, that's not a reference to someone we all know and love, is it? >:-D (Now, if the Hieronymous and Megan names are also references, not quite getting those. Neither the names nor the descriptions seem to match the Clintons in any meaningful manner; heck, only thing Hieronymous brings to mind for me is Bosch, and his stuff doesn't quite fit the imagery of this story.)

Do have a few questions. One, what about Sylvia's friends, the ladies-in-waiting? Pretty sure the liw's weren't actually servants, but LADIES, noblewomen from lesser courts, largely brought in to act as friends to the royal women (and as hostages to their parents' good will).Even if they are not, they are still probably almost completely cut off from their families & would make good hostages to SYLVIA'S good will, given her close friendship (especially if George's cronies ever sniffed out their true relationship). They also might just hurt the elf maid for spite against him.

Another question is the security of that little "butterfly missive" trick. If this Elwrong (love the name!) is that good, might she not be aware of that trick and set up a means to detect any those girls get, then follow one back? (Heck, although the wizard can't get one, being nameless, Elwrong could send her own to Sylvia, either following it, coating it with a poison dust, or similar.)

((By the way, true 'phoenices' [best guess for plural, based on similar ending to "matrix"] do only get reborn at the start of each millenium.))

Oh well, minor concerns. Otherwise, very interesting story. Not sure what you mean in the blog about stuff the complainers aren't getting (either it all seems obvious to me or I'm too dense to even notice it. <g>) However, the ante-chronal doppelgangers have me intrigued, and the mysterious orb has all sorts of possibilities.

That & I like a magical culture that creates modern-like amenities. Neat idea. Given my cooking skills, though, what I could use some device hooked to the pantry to cook meals for me, maybe some kind of mobile dumbwaiter with heating
& cooling compartments. :-S

Thanks for the great story!

I was able, without hesitation, to vote "9" - very good - for this story. Your introduction emphasuzung "fantacy" let me relax [lol] and enjoy.

Without you describing physical features of your main characters I was able to "see" the action as if seated along side. Wonderful!

Yes it is fun to go overboard every now and then. Maybe you should look into getting published though, the quality of your work certainly merits it.

I really did enjoy the story and gave it the 10 that I think it deserves.

oh, how I would love to live in such a wonderful world. thanks for sharing your fantasy

nice magic m8
good storyline
please continue
thanks

A little overboard on the political allusions, but overall an enjoyable read.

Keep up the good work.

A great story up until the last paragraphs when you went a little overbord with the fancy verbal imagery.*grin*

Other than that, an intriguing tale with an interesting premise.

Now I'm off to reald more of your works .

I did not yet "vote a score" for this story; my emotions are too convoluted at this time. I am not certain, but I believe this is the first time I have read you.

This is a well writen story and I could NOT put it down until I read each and every word. This story is emotional and pulled strongly at my heartstrings; I like it a lot.

The ending disapointed me. Lee was too cruel to Sarah in the way he ravaged her body to satisfy his own lust to find a receptical for his semen. In my eye, Lee should have concentrated more on Sahah's awakening and enjoyment and brought her
the needed extasy and feeling of belonging LONG before he shoved his large manhood into her tiny sheath.

I do believe [even in this horribly regulated world] that a young girl should be awakened by an older, but very gentle, older man - a father figure. A slow and gentle relationship. Lee should possibly have attempted to take care of any hurts Sarah suffered at the hands of her father.

Just my thoughts and feelings,
And thanks for posting this for me.

Outstanding!! More please and soon. Thank you.

A good story but those high-flown words made the story flow a bit whimsical.
Keep the words SIMPLE.

I gave your story a 10, even though I haven't read it in depth, but I did like what I saw.

By turning in such a Lo-o-o-o-n-g first installement you may have inadvertently slowed down the votes you could have gotten due to people just downloading it to read offline.

I know I was tempted.

I hope to give you better feedback later after I've had a chance to actually READ it through.

:-)

Wow!

The 'Interlude" was something else again ... terrifically erotic and very sensual. (Those magenta inserts in dark hair are a killer.)

This is quite a story, Viv. I hope it never ends! <laugh>

Thanks for the latest chapters.

Just excellent, really loved the humour and the overall idea. I love your lanaguage too. I think you lost the pacing a little bit near the end but that depends a bit on where you go with the next chapters. Keep it up!

Congratulations.

Oh my, I loved this story, especially the prose.

"...brutishly tickling her briny bitter inner sliminess with his sensitive tongue

"...thick hairy snake, wild and animalistic as it emerged from its dark curly lion's mane, rearing its stiff head in solid fullness.

"...urgent urge, a furious fucking rage to tear open their most secret insides and lay bare before the open knife of searing incision the built up longing and repression.

Urgent urge, that is a classic. I think you could win the Bulwer-Lytten contest with those lines. lol.

Thanks for sharing your story

Another winner. This one is nicely sensuous, from start to finish.

That was X-actly what I though it was going to be.
Heh.

Amusing... in a twisted way :-)

Punchline needs a bit more... something though.
Lacks punch.

Now there are a set of puns worthy of Xanth. An X rated Xanth...

LOL! Nice little twist. Very different from the style of "cinema sin."

Fun.

What _were_ you smoking when you wrote this? ROTFL! It's really hard to choke the chicken while chortling. Gnostic scriptures, alliteration, Lovecraft and purple romance?

outstanding story.....

A terrific mix of sex, humour and love ... erm ... or something like that!

Actually, this has been a thoroughly enjoyable read, though it was marred by a couple of missing words here and there. I think your editor is due for a round of severe chastisment.

Still ... a lot of fun and some truly sensual descriptions.

Thanks a bunch for the pleasure, Aunt V. As always, we readers are the lucky ones.

Very good story, are you planning on going anywhere with it? With all the loose ends, I see several possibilities.

A lovely romp. Thanks!

Cool story. I hope you do more in a similar vein.

A real writer you be. You should publish this. Plot, decent POV, intrigue, sex and a fun resolution.

A wonderful story! I had for some reason skipped over it on your asstr.org page, I am glad you posted it here. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I've read this story some time back somewhere else, and it's so nice to find it on SOL. funny, romantic, phantastic !

Well, out of pure boredom I started to read this, and it is actually very nice! Amusing too. Nice work.

Okay, I had to sneak a peak at another of your stories and picked this one.

This one made me laugh loud and long, bringing my wife in to see what was so funny.

Oops.

"Nothing, dear," I said, relieved she wasn't wearing her glasses.

It'll take hours for me to stop grinning.

Wel, that was fun, and damn funny! It certainly had me chuckling a lot. Thanks for that.

Thanks for this one. I think that I read it on your site ... 'cause the punch line is still a hoot!

Oh my, too funny. I laughed my way through that. And the ending line was pure poetry...Thin mint?

You have a fantastic sense of humor and a great gift with the written word.

Thank you for a fun story. Fits well with the Kenny, Frank, and Russ Girl Scout Nookie collection over at asstr.org

Very interesting story line. Some of the lines sort of reminded me of some Monty Python skits. Kepp up the great work.

Miss Darkbloom this was a very cool bit of fun.
Good humor and just a lil touch of kink. Thanks
much and I plan to see what else I find of yours.

That quote about the law enforcement authorities having the BIGGEST stash of child porn is actually right.

What you apparently DON'T get, is that the laws against adults having sex with children are NOT about protecting the children! They are about women and men in marriages, not wanting some teenybopper or younger to steal their husband or
wife away from her or him.

Basically, it is ALL jealousy on the part of the women and men involved, because children up to about the age of 7 CANNOT get pregnant, unless they are some freakishly advanced child.

There is the consideration of sexual disease, but children who are sexually active are no more in danger from that than adults are.

It would be a lot easier to read this without the complex adjectives describing situations and body parts. Just my 2 cents worth. :-)

This chapter brings your story to a wonderful close. Any time I think that you are getting a little too florid, you pull it back ... and move the characters along.

Of course, I was very much taken by the mention of the girl scout cookies at the end. Quite a zinger!

Thanks very much for all your effort and work. Our roles as readers are made so much easier by your writings.

A delightful story delightfully told!

I especially enjoyerd the alliterative "luxuriated in lascivious languor"

It is such a pleasure to find someone writing in this genre who is also literate.

Please write more

Sorry you're not getting higher scores. Your writing is great!

However, as I always say:

"Eclectic husbandry of sesquepedalia precludes dysphasia."

Or, on the other hand, most readers on this site might need a dictionary..haha..

Keep it up, I like your style. It's very refreshing. Don't sweat the scores.

I feel I must offer you praise, if only for one thing....giving me an excuse to feel like less of a dirty pervert. I can read your stories and pretend I am reading something of literary value rather than just cheap purient thrills. That said, I did find myself scratching my head as to why you as a woman would play so completely into the hidden desires of hot-blooded heterosexual men. What guy out there doesn't dream of finding a cute, innocent, yet sensual girl who waiting for them only to share her deepest sexual fantasies with. My latest conclusion is that there's a level of intentional perversity going on here, that there's a part of you who's writing these stories merely to press some of the most sensitive buttons you can think of. That said I must commend you for having girls who are the initiators of all the delicious action that occurs in these pages but also for writing characters that have a healthy sexuality and are not being forced/suffering from ! abuse or lack of self esteem/looking for money or status. I will end by thanking you for sharing your stories with us, I check back often for new ones. And keep on pressing those buttons, I know I like having mine pressed very much ;)

hallo!
IS MY FIRST DAY ON YOUR SIDE, LIKE HOW YOU MAKE IT.
LOOKS ABSOLUT NICE THIS SITE I KNOW IS ALOT OF WORK.
ABOUT YOUR STORYS LIKE WHAT YOU WRITE.
ABOUT MY ENGLISH IS ABSOLUT BAD BECAUSE IAM FROM GERMANY.
HEY WHEN I HAVE READ MORE WILL GIVE YOU A SECOND VIEW OF MY THOUGHTS.

best wishes from europe

Since I see that you are re-doing some of your stories and re-posting others puuuleeeeeaaaase consider a sequal to Hot Kitten Cafe... simply the hottest erotic story I've ever read. If you do... ... ...I'd... I'd be your best friend!

Priceless ... absolutely priceless, Auntie Viv!

Ah ... an excellent chapter ... continuing this story line. I know that you fashion and sculpt your writing ... but I do hope the next instalment is in the hopper.

Thanks for the entertainment and the pleasure.

Very very naughty indeed I must say , ah yes that was the point. Well then it was perfectly done. Enchore Please

Wow, Vivian, I think that's the hotest yet. I gave you a "10" and you deserve it. Good story.

Great story. Thank you for these beautiful pages.

Vivian, again a great story, like the build up and the finish. Enjoy the naughtiess with out the guilt. Very good.

Love the story and hope too find more of your stories. Keep up the good wrok , how can i find more of your stories

Lyrical and written without the rude bludgeons of stroke porn. This is how a love story should be written. For me it is more moving than the usual blow by blow descriptions of panting sex.

Congratulations on having written one of the stories I would have liked to write

(if I had the talent).

I'm a long-retired scientist/engineer

who started working on ballistic missiles in the 1950s (Atlas, Titan, and Thor), did semiconductor manaufacturing and research, designed early airbreathing missiies and the 2nd generation computer for Trident missile subs. Along the way I'd done artillery fuzes, spook recon stuff, and wound up doing military space stuff. What that adds up to is a lot of military toymaking, a lot of interaction with high level planners (up to 3 star), and a healthy respect for what can and cannot be done by military means.

In the end, very few of the world's problems should be dealt with in a military fashion! I was building a generations of toys to avoid the need to use them. I am a pacifist, complete with standing on the corner with a candle and placard. The present junta running the U nited States is a bunch of crazies, who misunderstand warfare and its few uses.

You wrote a better Iraq story than I would have for several reasons, one of which is that I would no be so restrained. My extended family (I welcome with open arms all who join by marriage) has Protestant, Catholic, Wiccan, Sunni, Shia, Kurd branches.

I love them all, and cannot bide intolerance. Naturally, the folk in my large tribe tend toward the more tolerant of their respective beliefs.

So you can see why I think that writing barrier-lowering literature is one of the higher callings.

Congratulations and thank you.

Great. I'm sorry that it's not part of a longer story. You only fufilled to of the 9 possibilities ;-}

Vivian:
Just got through re-reading Katrina. Like it before and it's even better now. I enjoy your stories as you paint such graphic, yet subtle pictures of what is going on. As a photographer, who found he could write, I really enjoy this. Many writers just can't convey the images they are trying to provide. You are the exception and I do enjoy the adult/girl situations. Keep up the good work. Thanks again.

Turn Table has always been a favorite or mine. I always liked it and have often gone back to re-read it on Asstr. Other songs for you to consider in future stories are songs by KoRn. They're lyrics often include things about children. Daddy, Mr. Rogers, Trash; are some I think you may enjoy.

After the stories I've read (most recently Cinema Sin), you are absolutely and totally my favorite artist on ASSTR. Just thought you might like to know

very good.I enjoyed it

Vivian, very nice story got me going and got me hard as I read the story. Nice. It seems that stories are more erotic if written by a woman, and a mature women even hotter. I cann't wait to read the rest of your stories and get some relief.

I just wonder why this wonderful story has such a low score.

The delightful part of this story is that the two little girls have set in motion actions that this grown man is almost powerless to prevent.

But what your story misses is that these two little girls must (eventually) discover that their resulting pleasure is so addictive that they must return to his cock every day or two. As you extend this story to rectify your oversight, perhaps he can somehow inform his young charges that this is something that a great percentage of adults do frequently with great urgency, and that pregnancy occasionally results therefrom!

Mmmm. Excellent story. Now if it had just been Daddy/daughter and young friend . . . :-)

You have some great stories and this is another to add to your collection. Thanks.

I laughed my ass off!!!

An excellent story so I gave it a 10.

I just wanted to tell you how much I love your story "Thanksgiving," and make one request:

Please, more incest! A little girl with her own Daddy, or a little girl with her Daddy and Mommy, or at least with Mommy knowing and approving--how sweet and wonderful and natural and right that is.

:-)

Wow. Almost overdid it with the flowery prose, but a really great story. Very different take on the older man / younger girl theme, romantic and hot all at the same time.

Great read. Thanks.

Yowch!

Was this a banned entry from the Bulwer-Lytton writing contest? A little too purple for my taste, but it *does* follow the style.

Write on!

Hi Auntie�

I blundered upon your site just a few months ago, and have mightily enjoyed it. There is just something...uh...fecundmellow about it.

too much flowery prose - should be writing for a culinary revue

You try way, way, WAY too hard! Just write in plain English. Your plot seems fine, but your attempts at "flowery" language fail pathetically. This misuse of language distracts the reader and detracts from the story.

Your intent was good but your massive use of the intellect to purvey your message was at best ... a miss. I lost interest by the tenth paragraph.

I'm sorry to say I didn't finish your story. Being an author on SOL I have received many e-mails detailing the reader's dislike of a chapter or even the ending. I normally wouldn't send one like this but I felt complelled.

Respectfully...

Excellent story line. Done very good, with just the right amount of humor.

Despite my critique, Cinema Sin was good enough that I went to your page and looked up this one. This one never quite goes over the top, just
peeks over the crest from time to time. Since Cinema Sin shows up as a new tale or an update, I figure it was something of an experiment, trying to push a little harder.

The sex scenes in both manage to be both allusive and very hot.

And they bring back my regret that the one time an underager came on to adult me I fended her off as gracefully as I could.

Good writing, initially taken to excess. Later, when you tone it down a wee bit, the reader gets a chance to breathe and pays more attention to the characters and story without so many of the sentences shouting "Look at me!"

Your lead paragraph is an example of what Clifton Fadiman (writing of Faulkner) once called the "nonstop, or life, sentence." Marathon sentences can work, in context (cf Faulkner, Henry James, Dwight MacDonald...and even Paige Turner [who only tried it once, and to good effect]), but as a lead it flags the reader,
saying "You're gonna have some work ahead of you"--not inviting.

Back in college I was working on a novel that got similarly florid. A friend, reading it, said "You gotta go read some Hemingway--as a douche."

(On the other hand, you look like you're going to actually finish this novel -- mine petered out over the ensuing several years.)

And by the way, it's spelled "Oedipal."

But, as I said at the beginning, basically good stuff, that gets better as it goes along. I've been a professional writer and editor for 40+ years (non-fiction), and I wouldn't bother if I didn't actually like what you're doing right.

Is the vagueness about the protagonist's age deliberate? It's a slightly different story if he's 19, or 39, or 59.

Another beautiful story, Auntie V.

Gosh ... but you write this stuff well. I especially liked that final reference to the Wizard and the Princess ... but then I am waiting for you to finish that story, too.

I thoroughly enjoyed the interplay between the (assumed) older man and the younger girls ... but had to remind myself that this was fantasy ... and should be left as such. <grin>

Thanks very much for the story ... and all your other work, as well.

just a great story i hope you write more soon.

this is a excellent series carnt wait for the next one well done.

I love your use of language in all your work ...not just this story. You, dear lady are one of my favorite authors and have been for quite some time.

hey i luv ur work!! keep it up! :D

It is nice to read a story that is not unrealistic and is pleasent for both parties in the equation. I am of the opinion that people should be taught the skills that they will need in life, when they ask the question of a person whom they trust will teach them in the proper manner, no matter what those skills are. To be honest with a young person is always the policy, as deceit only breeds more deceit.

We thought it was cute using the biblical conitations with someone else's discriptions of what was writtin...and then in his minds eye all the things that tanspired as well, and then there is the " rerward for being a " good 7 faithful"
servent...that was really good !! Thank you Miss Vivian..we appreciated that alot..have a great week...

Thank you!

I cried. This story so reminded me of the "little" girl I could not bring back with me from Viet Nam...

Very good story, but it was over all too soon.

Great effort! More please.

Good start. Cannot wait until the next chapter.

Lovely, simply lovely. My attraction to stories about children is generally based upon my pantie fetish . . . a longing to experience my first orgasm yet again . . . and . . . what? To be that child seduced with sensuality and affection and LOVE. A love that I never had or have had.

You gave/give me that for which I am grateful.

Thank you.

Damn girl...You even took time to research for an erotic story. Very well done and amazingly hot without being vulgar A perfect mark.

except for the obvious bush hatinng it was a decent enough story

Nice story, even better sentiments!

Cheers

That was one of the most erotic things I have read in a while . Please post more of this story. Thanks for the read.

dont leave us hanging

Excellent start,looking forward to further chapters. Keep up the great writing.

Excellent, so far. Please let me know when you continue the story.

loved the idea of a grown man the reluctant toy of so many young ladies. your writing is very captivating. would love reading more.

Very erotic,just like your other offerings. You have some imagination and a way with words. Thanks for the great reads.

A very good quick stroke story. Thanks

Beautiful story. I could almost thing I was there. I'd give you a 10, but don't see a place to score. You scored big with me on this one.

what an imagination!

What a beautiful love story. Thank You

I have seldom been so move and tittilated by an online story. Congratulations on a great story.

Just a reiteration of my review of this story:

Think early John Crowley - say "Engine Summer". The plot isn't much, though probably enough for a story this short - somewhere between a romance and an obsession. The characters are well portrayed.

The strength of this story is the words. They are like paintings, alternately vivid and subtle. There are a few rough spots that a really good editor could fix up, but the editor would have his work cut out for him to repair the minor glitches without hurting the quality of the prose.

Not a story for everyone due to both the writing style and the subject matter, but for those who like this sort of writing it's wonderful.

You sure use a lot of similes and metaphors, but I still gave it a ten.

Well written and hot too.

You have a flare for putting a subject in the right prospective.Will watch for your next effort.

I saw this as a gentle shared experience between two beings. take away all convention and it was a real love story.Thank you!!!.

Oh that was beautifull and so sensitive. I am sure it is 100% from your imagination. Oh yeh?

Is there anymore to it?

Thank you.

I do remember reading on your site ... but it was better this time around. I will be forever grateful for the metaphor of the 'million cherry blossoms'. That certainly is an image worth keeping.

Society's disapproval of the context of this story makes the argument for fantasy even stronger.

Thanks very much for the pleasure of this story.

WORDS FAIL ME, BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOUR STORY
INDICATES THAT THEY DO NOT FAIL YOU!

FANTASTIC STORY, BUT MADE BETTER BY YOUR WRITING!

THANKS.

ps: this is my FIRST time at commenting on any story, and I'm a long time reader/bumbling writer.

Hi Auntie Vi;

Noticed your new posts in ASSM ... and came here to read them. Marvellous imaginery ... especially in Chapter 13 (?). Damn ... I can't remember the chapter numbers.

Anyhoo ... very, very enjoyable ... and I'm glad to see the wizard and the princess together in bed. That moves that element of the story along as well.

As always, thanks for writing and posting your work. We readers really enjoy it.

Wow! Very nice writing. Yummy.

Auntie Viv, ROTFLMAO!
I try to send this again. I went to copy my text, and my comment box disappeared.
So I was saying that I was remiss in my last website update in missing you. My site gets a major overhaul on Groundhog day. Actually that's the day I'm loading the revised pages, and this time I did add you.

This is what I had to say:

Vivian Darkbloom
On ASSTR at - http://asstr.org/~vivian/
This is one of the authors I most admire! Gutsy! While she enjoys her Science Fiction, this Lady tackles some subjects that would probably have the Moron Majority (or Moral Mafia) knocking at her door!

Thanks for making me a more daring writer!

I've just finished Chapter 12 ... and I'm sure I'm only going to repeat what your other readers have already said. This is a thoroughly enjoyable and enchanting read. Frankly, I'd like to be able to put off reading any more until you're done ... but I can't.

So ... your ever loyal readership remains hungry for more ... more ... more.

Thanks for what you've given us so far.

Good morning, Auntie V;

Just read the latest chapter of your Sangrelysia story. I do hope there's another on its way very soon. I am sure that I'm not the only who has 'complained' ... but that's what you get when you write stories of this calibre. The better you write, the more we want.

Readers are such insatiable types. <grin>

Thanks for writing for us.

I've just finished Chapter 9 of Sangrelysia. This is an excellent story ... on a couple of different levels. (There are, of course, some elements of Piers Anthony.)

I do thank you for writing this ... and encourage you to continue writing chapters. The wait for the next ones will be too long, regardless.

Thanks ... entertaining your readers is, I hope, a joyful task.

Precious Auntie!

I really can't decide which of your writings I apreciate better, the 'prurient' or the political ones, seriously!

I bow deeply to your talent.

"I would rather fail in a cause that someday will triumph than to win in a cause that I know someday will fail." -- Woodrow Wilson

^.^

By the way did you catch any of the reviews of Lolita on its 50th? My God, it�s just as if we were back in 1950 and nothing had changed. Well, of course there have been changes but mostly for the worse.

I want you to know that I�ve thought long and hard before writing to you again about �Hot Kitten Café� but I can�t leave it alone. I re-read it today and I always have the impression that there are interesting shadows moving in the story just at the limits of my peripheral vision.

The story is perfect, still at the top of my list, an erotic crank that turns my motor in unbearably delightful ways but, but, I would, so like to have a portrayal of what happens next. It wouldn�t hurt the original at all I have rationalized, so you could make an addition without harming anything that came before.

But I wonder do you hold this tale in as high regard? Do you think you could set the ethereal mood again? If you would be tempted I would be ecstatic to devour the words slipping Sapphire into Ezeriah as he in turn� but, really any direction you felt like taking the boy and girls would be welcome.

If it will sweeten my request in the slightest I am posting a story of my own on ASST, tonight if all goes well, entitled, Queen Sacrifice. And so that�s my best pitch. Please don�t feel pressed by any of this you�ve already �rung� the gong as far as I�m concerned.

Love "Sangrelysia." Nice political allegory, complete with a "bumbling King George." Looking forward to more.

Keep your tongue burried squarely in your cheek.

Hello....I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you writing is. It makes my heart sing just reading your stories. I hope you're going to add more stories to your website. Thank you again.

how different,very captivating,your feelings flow; like the wind in the fall, when blowing through the multi flavored leaves, not knowing where you send me,one leaf to the next;;;;;; vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvGOOD

I had to write to say that The Hot Kitten Café is the best erotic story, by at least an order of magnitude, that I've ever read. All your other stories are erudite, imaginative and elegantly written but HKC has an erotic tension as no other that has passed beneath my eyes. The story kind of roots around inside you evoking feelings for 'more' while at the same time I found myself not wanting to spoil the mood by having even one more added word.

It's the kind of layered story that you want to re-read as soon as you finish it the first time. The characters are more nuanced than hammered out, the social dynamic changing, people and vectors coming and going in and out of focus: Not a single word wasted! For some reason it kept reminding me of the movie Night of the Hunter with Robert Mitchum.

I suppose what makes the story so compelling is that I was always one step behind. As I savored and 'unwrapped' each development some new glance or word was drawing me away, my task unfinished. You veer off e.g. the 'blue cheek', the tea leaves, instructing and torturing the reader at the same time. And the whole ending with the imagery of the catls tail, as I pictured it, erect, twitching impatiently back and forth left me restless and unsatisfied: Perfect!

You obviously have fun writing this stuff, which is good.

One thing occurs to me as I read your stories though -

"Passersby stared at me curiously as I stood facing a haphazard diagonal, staring intently ahead of me in the dusk twilight. In lonely absence, her aura haunted me as the fading warmth of the day. While I thought to myself that, just maybe, I was feeling the way she had felt, that very last time I saw her, standing in that same spot, facing the same direction, at a bizarre angle to the flow of traffic, ignoring the absent stares of orthogonally half-drunk voyagers in bright tacky warm-weather clothes, feeling the warm roughness of the sandy cement against the soles of my bare feet."

It seems too much - as if the story is groaning under the weight of its own self-importance. Good writing for me is light and snappy. I would never write anything like the paragraph I've quoted, mainly because I don't have the ability, but also because I write with a reader in mind. I want to transport them to the world I've created, not impress them with my use of language. The story is king - cut, cut, cut - murder your babies.

Sorry, got carried away there. Very impressive all the same.

I especially liked the ridiculously written sex story!

I'm not sure this email will get to you, or if you want them to. But I write to let you know how much I enjoy your work. Your writing not only shows all the sensual delight in the subject matter, but also revels the respect and concern for characters much of the world would refuse to believe. I?m rapidly becoming your biggest fan and I hope to read, enjoy, and learn from your future stories.

i Love your stories...and the making-people-happy viewpoint behind them.

I love your stories. The one about Iraq was beautiful, I'd love to read a sequel to that one. Gorgeous style.

Kudos!

I somehow browsed ASSTR and found your delightful page. Your philosophy is refreshing, for which I thank you.

love your stories.the way you write ,i can just visulize what is going on.i look forward to reading more of your stories.

I've just started to read "Sangrelysia" ... and this is going to be a good one! I'll keep an eye on ASSM ... to check on new chapters.

Please continue writing. We readers are unanimous in our opinion that ... as Tony the Tiger would have said ... you're great!

Thanks for writing

I enjoy your stories very much. I think these are written with style and caring.

"Y'all" meaning you are from the south or Oklahoma? (which is where I am from)Not many people outside of OK have I heard use that expression. Back to your stories, interesting concepts, could be more in-depth (I think that is a personal preference on my part), all-in-all good work

I LOVE the bad writing story. It had all of my pet peeves, lol. I hope you didn't use any of my stories as inspiration...

So you're more interesting than most, quirky, funny, pretentious in that unpretentious sort of way, amusing, even (and I say this meaning no disrespect) literary. I just wish you'd stop making fun of my editors, or the fact that my penis has to bend at the ceiling.

leave politics out of your stories

This story is hysterical! (or at least I was, while reading it!)

thanks for posting it

Here we go again!

I got up late and wanted to speed things along by eating breakfast while I checked the stories in the Moderation Center.

But noooooooooo!

YOU had to go post "A Badly Writin Sex Story" last night, and I had to read ALL of it before I approved it, and I couldn't eat while I was reading or I'd have spewed breakfast all over the keyboard.

And not only that, you made me sit here and ask, "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT????"

Over and over.

Repeatedly.

Ad nauseum.

Until it went out at ten after the hour.

I hope you're happy!

'Cause I sure am. Damned good..

Magnificent job formatting and the slow building to a gentle climax. Your knack for prose is superb!

VIVIAN-read more of your stories-enjoyed the hawaian girl so much- uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu turn me on and i get so moist reading what uuuuuuuuuuuuuu have-

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu are such a great writter am so pleased and thrilled to read your stories

Viv, you and the likes of you, though creative and having a modicum of skills, are the scourge of the earth. Your palate's hunger to demonize MANkind and bring forth heretical thoughts for possible blossom fortunately will always be confined to a minority of "impossibilists", or atheists. Now we are in "the end days", and lucky for you that you may well see it all. That is your fondest wish; is it not.

I just loved your story entitled Karina. Never have I read a sweeter and more fulfilling tale of rapturous girllove. My only problem was the unexpected sexual maturity of a precotious girl so young. But it's exciting to imagine that there might be such a girl out there...somewhere, just waiting for the caring insightful lover to come around. From your bio, I can well expect you might have enjoyed more than a few sapphic trysts with your preteen converts.

Keep up the good work, Vivian. I'm just loving it.

It's all YOUR fault!

All I wanted to do was scan through your post to make sure that it wasn't screwed up like a couple of the others (new server still has some bugs in it) and I found myself READING THE WHOLE THING before I approved it.

Now I'm behind, and it's all because you wrote such a nicely engaging, erotic little story that was fun to read!

I have just read Karina. What can I say? Thank you. It's so delightful to read something that's easily two orders better than what's circulating around a.s.s. or asstr.org these days. It's reminiscent of days long gone:
ah yes, those were truly memorable times, before Usenet got so tragically diluted.

Karina is just refreshingly good. It's simply so good that I'm willing to overlook the tense shifting, or expressions like "burgeoning codpiece" and "curving steel-edged ironwood root." You will have to take me on my word that this is unspeakably high praise from me indeed.

Karina struck a chord with me. It left me with that feeling one gets after a truly remarkable film: introspective, and both satisfied yet profoundly empty because it's over. A rare gift, to be sure. Karina's one major flaw is that it's a short story and not a 1000 page novel.

The best part is that you have more stories. I'm tempted, but no, I won't read them all in one night.

I have also read your short essay titled "Girl Love." There is plenty to be said, but that discourse can wait for another time. It's late and I wanted to send this comment before bed. If I don't do it now, I never will.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I am genuinely happy to see that no Microsoft products were used in the creation of your site. It might be reasonable to assume then that you're a Mac user. If that's the case,
don't worry, I won't hold it against you. Nobody's perfect.

Great stories!! Love to read about girls with girls!!

I really enjoyed the non-fiction writing on girl love. Yes, have to admit that I have seen some very cute 9- to 10-year olds that I would like to get up close and personal with. However, with all the taboos I would never even try such a thing.

Maybe that's why I enjoy reading about cross generational sex and love. Your story about the guy and his pre-teen lover in the tropics was great. The story, while fiction, had some truth to it. Wonder how many couple would love to give their kid to someone else to be with.

I enjoyed the story of the little girl and the babysitter having sex in the bathroom. I can't decide if I like to read about little girls and older men or little boys and older women but both are exciting. Thanks for sharing your writing talent.

Thank you Vivian for you sweet erotic tales of young girls enjoying their sexuality.
I enjoy reading and imagining myself in them.
I enjoy that they are non violent and consentual.
You write with an amaising beauty and your stories are never vulgar.
I can realy see your characters in my minds eye. They seem very real.
I eagerly await your next sexy tale!
Please keep up the good work.

My -goodness-, you have an exquisite talent with words. I'd be surprised to learn you don't write (in some capacity) professionally. I don't often think to send in comments, but I've just read Thanksgiving, and it was captivating from start to finish. I think I'm off to read some more. Thanks for sharing your gift.

hi! I really love your stories. especially the younger girls with older men. I dont know where you get your ideas but its great to hear others have the same interest I do.

I found your stories while browsing through ASSTR, and I sincerely like your writings. I've even thought much of the same thing about those PED XING signs... All your stories have made me laugh, while doing that other job. *wink*wink*

Just so you know, this is the first time I've bothered to write any of the authors I've read. Your work is so different from all the other stuff I've read. It's quite refreshing to read an author who not only knows where to put their "they're"s and their "their"s, but aside from grammar, your work takes a radically different viewpoint on the whole issue, it's something I can't quite describe. Possibly something about the fact that you have no problem including that kind of humor in this kind of a story. I don't know; I don't feel like writing an essay about it... but I like it.

Thank you, and please carry on whatever it is that you're doing.

I just read Hot Kitten Cafe on ASSM and have to admit I'm at a complete loss. I enjoyed the story, especially the heavy sensuality in the descriptions. But, the story just seemed to end almost mid-paragraph. I have no idea if that was the end or not. Is there more?

I'm glad you did that. I enjoyed it a lot and I'm sorry that I missed it the first time through.

Excellent work.

My stomach hurts for laughing. What a hand grenade! Needless to say, this is very ballsy and clever. "The Son the Lord of the Angel" -- who would have thought I'd find my theological lesson for the day on alt.sex.stories!

A fantastic story!!!

I loved every second of it. I first saw the sci-fi code and thought yuck. But, I loved the story "Karina", so I took a chance. I hope that doesn't make me a geek for reading sci-fi. I already own enough geekness.

I'm amazed. The story was well put together. I of course thought the preface should have been first. But, it was still worth the read.

I have a hard time remembering what was in each part. But after Jasmin and her old man find there home and she wants to travel... The next part they are fight against the inquisition. I found a peace of mind, with her finding her family and sharing the love, then all of sudden I'm jerked out of chair because they are looking for trouble.

I've also read your other stories. So this one was complete opposite. And it was very nice!

I would love to meet one of you male characters they are all so submissive!

Thank you for writing!!