http://www.asstr.org/~srb
Don't read if under 18 or illegal in your little corner of the world, like you'll listen. This 
should appear only on my site http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/srb/www/ F3, Futanari 
Palace, and basically should be wherever Pal's stuff is. Also at the Grey Archive, and 
some other places they might end up, they know who they are. Any websites that want to 
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This is copyright me, so don't call it yours. Feedback can be left here. I created all the 
characters, they are all fictional, and any relevance to anyone living or dead, is incidental. 
Thanks to Crudebuster for the help, and for listening to my crazed rantings.

So here's a new one folks, this is different than most of my stuff. If it offends you, well 
it's kind of supposed to. So don't get too hung up on it. Don't know where this came out 
of really, just sort of woke up and wrote it in four or five hours, and edited it tonight. It 
could be a series, but I'm kinda hoping it isn't, I don't feel like another whole long series 
right now. But you can't control what stories you write sometimes. Enjoy, leave 
comments if you feel the need to.



(I'm Just Mad About) Saffron
Chapter 5, Like Everything Was Normal



I looked at the back of Saffron's head, wondering just what she wanted to tell me. She 
wasn't usually like this. She was the bright happy little angel, not the sad and distant girl 
who I continued to cuddle, trying to coax some life from her.

"I promise, I won't tell anyone a single thing. Nobody. Not anyone at school, not my 
family, not even my parents. A man keeps his word, especially to his woman," I said with 
as much conviction as I had in my body. 

"Okay. Well, I…" she sighed for a moment, "My parents don't want me," she said, 
tugging my hand again.

"What do you mean?" I asked, holding her closer. I had never heard her speak like this 
before. She was never this serious, never this weak in front of me. She always had a 
fancy lightheartedness to her. It was scary how real it was.

"My parents didn't plan me. I was an accident. They didn't want me to be born," she 
reiterated, her voice crackling.

"Oh Saffron, don't say such things. It's, it's okay," I said, trying to hush her. I could feel 
her body tense up near mine. If she didn't want tell me, I understood. It hurt me to see her 
so upset. I didn't know what else I could do. But it was at that moment I began to realize 
the real meaning of being there for her.

"No, it's not okay," she said with a bit of venom in her voice.

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. Do you…want to talk about it?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah. I, I'm sorry. When my parents were in high school, my, my mom got her birth 
control pills, like everything was normal. But it wasn't like normal. I mean they were 
expired. She didn't check like she was supposed to. It like never happens, they're 
supposed to throw the old pills away. It wasn't her fault really, it was the pharmacist's, 
but there was no proof. By the time they knew, everything was already thrown away in 
the trash. So she took them every day, but they just didn't work. Nine months later I was 
born," Saffron said, I could feel her start to weep in my arms.

"Saffron, that doesn't mean they don't want you," I don't know what I was doing. I've 
never really consoled anyone who was crying like this, except for Lin Mai, and she 
wasn't nearly this upset.

"No, they don't. They didn't tell me, but I know. Deep down inside, I can tell it. I see 
how your parents look at you and your brothers. How your parents look at each other. 
How they treat your sister. My parents don't love me. Hell, they don't even really love 
each other. The only reason they stay together is that my mom didn't want to give me 
up." Saffron said, just tugging my hand closer to her face. "So they were forced to get 
married and take care of me, and stay together without caring about each other, just 
because I was born. I ruined their lives. They would both be better off if I never existed."

I didn't know what to say at this point. What could I have done? I just lay there and 
hugged her, tried to console her as best I could. My heart ached for her, more than 
anything I've ever felt before. Tears poured from the corners of my eyes, and yet I could 
come up with no words to express my sympathy for my beloved Saffron.

"Daddy didn't want me. He didn't tell me, but I know it. He doesn't even love momma. 
He holds it against me, holds it against us that I was born," she said softly, taking my 
thumb into her mouth and sucking it like a baby.

"Why?" I asked, feeling the strange sucking sensation on my digit. It was nice, but not 
arousing at all, kind of hard to explain. I guess it was intimate. There was nothing I could 
have done or heard that would seem sexy to me right now.

"He, he never got to go to college. He had to get a lousy job 'cuz of me. My, my daddy, 
he's real smart, but he can't get a good job without goin' to school. He holds it against 
me. I know he does. He doesn't hit me or yell at me, but I know he holds it against me. 
So he'll never get the chance to have a big important job like your dad. Or have a big 
family of boys like your dad does. That's why I want to have a baby brother so much. 
Someone that my dad can, can love," she said, weeping again in my arms. I was at a loss 
for words. I hated hearing it but knew I must. In a moment of selfishness I wanted to hear 
no more, because I was afraid I couldn't stand to bear it. And yet she was the one who 
needed the respite, not me. But what words could I say that would matter? What words 
could I come up with that would make some difference?

"What am I going to do for daddy? Marry rich? I'll never help him out in the house, 
paying for bills, or working like you and your brothers can," she said sadly.

"Why are you telling me this?" Realizing I asked her too hastily. "I mean, I, it's not that I 
don't want to hear it. I want to be here for you. But I've known you for years, why tell 
me? Why now?"

"Who else can I tell? I don't have anyone. My friends wouldn't understand me. I don't 
have any brothers or sisters. I just had to tell someone, especially after your brothers. 
They just made me think of it," she said, still sucking against my thumb. I mustered up 
what little strength I had left, after absorbing all of her pain and tried to come up with a 
meaningful response. The words, which had eluded me all night, seemed to flow out so 
easily, so naturally, that when I began speaking them I wondered why exactly it took me 
so long.

"Saffron, listen to me. Anyone who didn't recognize how incredible you are is stupid. If 
your father doesn't realize that he has the most beautiful, the smartest, and the most 
special girl in the world, then that's his problem," I said, meaning every word of it. I had 
listened to her entire story. It touched me in a place I didn't know I had. But I couldn't 
just sit here, and let her go on thinking that she wasn't special, or that she didn't mean the 
world to me.

"I, I," She said, taking a deep breath. 

"I'm not kidding, and your dad is a fool if he doesn't get you. I want you to know that I 
care so much about you. Even if your dad doesn't, even if you don't know it yet, you 
mean the moon and the stars to me. You are special, and any person with half a brain 
would be glad to have a daughter like you," I said softly but firmly into her ear. I could 
feel her body stop shaking and huffing, knowing that she had ceased her tears, at least for 
now. She turned her body around, looking at me in the face.

"I love you too," she said, kissing me on the lips. The tears had run her makeup, as she 
had made herself sick with her crying. To anyone else she might have looked a mess of 
makeup, tears, and phlegm. But to me she looked gorgeous. For the first time since I had 
known her she had let down her guard and shown me everything. She had let down her 
guard of sweet innocence and revealed to me the real Saffron. I didn't mean her body, no 
she had shown me something much more important. Her weakness, along with her 
strength, was what made her the way she was, and I was just realizing that. 

"I love you," I said, almost automatically. A moment's thought later, I realized that I 
meant it. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, smiling through all of her suffering that she had gotten off her 
chest. I couldn't imagine having held it the entire time. This must have been such a relief 
to her.

"I love you," I repeated myself, smiling and laughing.

"I love you too," she said. It warmed my heart to see that smile on her face.

"I, I love you!" I said, even louder this time. I wanted to tell the whole world. I wanted to 
shout it from the rooftop.

"Okay, okay, I get it. I love you too," she said, kissing me.

"I do love you," I said once more, in a more hushed tone.

"And I love you too, you big lug," she said, punching me in the arm. She wrapped her 
arms around me, and hugged me tightly. I didn't do anything, not really, but it felt like I 
had. I had been there to listen, and been there to say a few kind words, words until now I 
hadn't even realized were true. I just lied there and felt her body ease against mine, happy 
to see her relax.


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