Don't read if under 18 or illegal in your little corner of the world, like you'll listen. This should appear only on Pal's archive site, through Pal's yahoo group, on Pal's Forum... well, it basically should be wherever Pal's stuff is. Also at the Grey Archive, and some other places they might end up, they know who they are. And if/when I make a site, there too. This story contains m/f and romance. If you don't swing that way, stop reading. This is a PARODY, PARODY, PARODY, I don't own any of the characters, just "borrowing" them for the sake of the story. I AM USING WITHOUT PERMISSION OF SQUARESOFT, either of North America, Europe, or Japan, or another subsidiaries I am currently not aware of. So don't sue me. Please, I only have a computer and one of those toy dogs that bounce their heads up and down, it isn't worth it. Yes, I am doing a nice, family lemon. Well, maybe not family, but a nice, not dirty, romantic love story. Still, there will be sex, but this, compared to my recent works, will be relatively clean! Honest! Ok, don't believe me, but you'll see why they call me SomeRandomBastard. Ok, it was because I told 'em to, but nonetheless, here goes. * denotes thoughts ~~~ denotes flashback Final Fantasy 7: Victory At Last Part 1 - Shot Down by Some Random Bastard Tifa sighed. Life was good for the girl. She never imagined her life would end up this way. When she saw Cloud back in the Slums of Sector 7, she never even thought he would stay on for any amount of time, let alone the mere idea that they would go on to destroy Shinra, save the planet, and destroy Sephiroth. But they did it. Sometimes she was scared, sometimes she was brave, but throughout the entire ordeal she always had Cloud. Her golden haired sky blue eyed saavior. *Or am I his* she said with a giggle. She looked over the truck to see Cloud driving. He was always there, no matter what. Still, Tifa was surprised that Cloud had actually married her. Cloud had actually done it, had professed his love for her. ~~~ They had a very traditional wedding. It was medium sized, Cloud had gone to the trouble of inviting almost everyone who had helped them on their quest. Despite the rumors that Shinra had tried to spread about them, it did little good. Beforee long everyone knew of their exploits, from rumor, gossip, and a particularly drunk pilot, who shall remain nameless. Still, the press wasn't as bad as it had been. The only problem was walking down the aisle. The continuous flashing lights dazed her, and she nearly fell, if it wasn't for Barret ~~~ Tifa leaned over towards Cloud. He took his right hand off the wheel and placed it on Tifa's shoulder. Driving had always been something that had bored Cloud, but this was a day that made it all seem even more boring. He was nervous. Well, scared, anxious, happy, and nervous. He was a swirl of emotions. Sitting next to his raven-haired beauty as they went for their honeymoon, he was barely able to contain himself. He was married. M-a-r-r-i-e-d, married. He went through every emotion he knew of that day, except fear. He was with Tifa, forever, and he had defeated Sephiroth. He would never need know fear again, because he was next to his wife, his love. ~~~ A lot of things during the wedding ceremony had surprised him. He never knew all the little nuances, like he couldn't see her before the wedding. He was lucky that Yuffie was outside, she was ready to pounce on him for even going near. He remembered how funny it was seeing the young ninja, already tense enough in the bride's maid gown, try to jump and stop Cloud. She fell a couple feet short. He burst out laughing so hard he nearly woke the dead. ~~~ Suddenly, a blue car veered onto the road, almost hitting the car. Cloud was about to yell obscenities, until he realized that Tifa was asleep. *Poor girl, she's had a rough day* Cloud took his black tuxedo coat and put it over her white bridal gown. He put his hand through his blond hair, nearly cutting himself on his cufflinks. When he did, he could feel the sweat that had grown on his palms. *Come on man, you have fought to the end of the world and back, but you can't keep dry hands* ~~~ Cloud had spent the entire day in nerves. Cid, his best man, tried to keep him calm. The old pilot was wearing a suit that looked nearly as old as him. "Come on ya big lug, this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life! So why ya so glum?" Cid asked, waving his arms about. "It's just, I have spend the last year since Tifa and I met back in Midgar with her, and we both know we love each other. Now that it's got to be all formal, going up there and saying it, I just want it to be over." Cloud said with a sigh. The pilot wasn't much for subtlety, he was straight out and in your face. Sometimes it was a good thing, sometimes it wasn't. "So why did you just elope?" The pilot spat out. "I couldn't do that to Tifa. I know she wants the big traditional fancy wedding. I just hate waiting is all." Cloud said, rubbing his head with his sweaty palms. He could smell the stale sweat on his hands, but he put them away, he didn't want to let on how nervous he was. He had always tried to play it cool, be the calm collective leader, and he had done pretty well with it, but there was so very little that he could do. "Well, if you want to pass the time, I can get you a drink? I gotta admit, you got some real good stuff 'ere!" Cid said as he took another drink of some hard stuff. His speech was already beginning to slur. "Thanks, but no thanks, Tifa would kill me, besides, I don't need alcohol to say the truth. I love her, and I can say it a million times, but nonetheless I still hate waiting." ~~~ Cloud wiped his brow, and then took a look at the speedometer. *Oh shit* he was going at seventy-five miles per hour! As he began to slow down, he missed a pothole. *Please don't wake her up* he thought. It was a long day, and he would rather she got sleep than he did. He began to gently rub her arm, trying to keep her at peace. Cloud continued. He looked at the closest sign. "Costa De Sol, 40 Mi" He sighed, it would be almost another hour before they got there. He looked at his golden watch, a gift from Reeves. It had a nice leather band, and despite the fact it was obviously old, it was kept in very great shape. *It'll be almost two by then* ~~~ "Daddy, daddy, daddy, can I play wit the kitty?" Marlene asked. Barret chuckled for a minute, then said "Ask him darling". Marlene walked over, wearing her cute little pink dress, soccer ball in hand. Barret tried not to laugh every time the flame haired feline warrior passed, but it was hard. Somehow someone had decided that since Nanaki was going to come, he should wear formal clothes. This, despite the fact that he usually didn't wear clothes. So the warrior was reduced to wearing a tuxedo top and a dress shirt. Marlene walked over to Red thirteen, and gave him a little kiss on the nose. Despite how humiliated he felt, the young girl melted his heart. "Kitty, can we pway ball?" She said in her cute little voice. "Sure, but please call me Nanaki" he said, in his deep voice. "Na-na-ky" Marlene tried to pronounce his name correctly. Suddenly, Barret went behind the feline. "Jes call 'im Red honey." He said, then looked at Nanaki "And you make sure she doesn't mess up that pretty dress of hers before the vows." Nanaki looked at Barret, then shrugged off what he said as they made their way to a less populated part of the field. ~~~ Cloud looked at the signs. *Ok, Exit 47, now we're getting somewhere* He thought as he set the right turn signal on the old truck. It was a bit beat up, but as he had said to Tifa before, "I'm not that whipped yet". The truck was big, but it wasn't slow and it was good on gas. It needed a new paint job, but the blue on it wasn't so bad that you couldn't tell what color it had been. This model was similar to the one they had used to escape from Midgar so long ago, but it was a bit longer and didn't have anything in the back bed of the truck. Cloud began slowing the car's speed. There wasn't anyone in sight. The only light out there was the bright headlights of Cloud's car and the moon. Cloud looked over to the moon, and he noticed how full it was. He didn't expect a full moon tonight, but it helped him gauge a little bit how much time had past. He rarely looked at the moon, but tonight its pale yellow glow caught his attention. Something Tifa had said to him once had made him think. She said about how the planets and stars up there are innocent, and that we are fighting not only for our planet but those as well. *I have to ask her for that sometime* ~~~ Vincent Valentine made his way through the guests. He knew many of them, but few recognized him in a suit and tie. He had even gone to the extent of getting his hair cut. Not short, but still cut. Carrying two hard drinks, he made his way past the casual acquaintances until he made his way to Reeves. "Hello Reeves." Vincent said, coldly and succinctly "Is that, Vincent?" Reeves saint, squinting his eyes. The man who had always covered as much of his face as he could with his clothes and hair actually had his entire face showing. "It is indeed. A drink?" He said. Reeves took the crystal glass of alcohol and began to sip it. "What are you working on there?" Vincent said raising an eyebrow. "Heh, it's a little secret that Cloud had me set up. Cid gave me a hand with it, but you'll see it soon enough." Reeves said, with a smile from ear to ear at his work. "As you wish. I think I'll head out to see the groom, do you know where Cloud is?" "Yea, he's on the East end, while Tifa's on the West end." Reeves said, returning to his work. Vincent shrugged as he began to make great strides forward. Being alone in the grave had shortened his verbosity, but also it had the effect of making him despise small talk. He continued his quick pace, making headway into the Groom's area. When he got there, he could see Cloud pacing back and forth, Cid and Barret arguing about something or another, and Nanaki batting the soccer ball with his tail while Marlene tried not to let it go too far. Vincent walked up quickly, and before Cloud knew it there was Vincent, standing there with a drink in one hand and holding out the other to greet the Groom. "Hello Cloud. Congratulations" He said. Cloud looked up, and was amazed at the sight he saw when he heard his comrade's voice. Never in a million years had he expected Vincent to show up in a tux, but with cut hair and everything? "Wow Vincent, thanks." He said as he extended his hand. Before he shook with Vincent however, he wiped his hand on the sleeve of his tuxedo. Cid and Barret looked up to see Vincent, and they immediately stopped their conversation and got up to see the man. "Cid, Barret" Vincent said with a nod to each. "Before I forget Cloud, I wanted to give you this" Vincent said, as he held out a wrapped box. It was about three quarters of an inch high, three inches wide, and two long. "What is it?" Cloud said, shocked that he would get any gift. "Open it and find out." Was the only answer the mystery man would give to the Groom-To-Be. Cloud opened the box, and inside were two cufflinks, in the shape of his ultimate weapon blade. They were in gold, and on each of the blades was "The gate of tomorrow is not the light of heaven." Vincent had said that once on the airship Highwind. "Wow, thank you Vincent, I really like them" He said as he put them on each arm. "Where'd ya get them?" Barret asked, puzzled at the craftsmanship. "I know someone who does that kind of work." Vincent spoke coolly, "It must 'ave set you back quite a pretty penny" Cid said, showing a little that he had a bit to drink. "It did, but I don't care. Money has little value for me. I just wanted to get you a little something to congratulate today." Vincent said, in what probably was the most anyone had ever said to anyone on the day. ~~~ Cloud pulled his car up to the hotel they planned on staying. He looked at his watch and saw that it was already two. He turned to Tifa and softly said "Teef, come on, it's time to get up." Tifa opened her eyes, and after a couple of seconds she remembered where she was and slowly got out. "But I insist" Cloud said as he picked her up. Tifa was suddenly whirled around, and then suddenly stopped in his arms. Cloud took Tifa into the 'Villa Cloud', and placed her on the bed. He looked around the room as he stretched his legs. "Cloud, I'm tired, I don't..." Tifa started "Don't worry, I have waited twenty years, what's another night?" He said as he kissed her on the lips. "Good night." He said as he placed a sheet over her. "Good night. I love you." Tifa said as she began to succumb to sleep once again. "I love you too." Was the last thing that Tifa heard before she returned to sleep. (This file was created by SomeRandomBastard@yahoo.com, so send all flames there. Don't use without permission, and don't claim it's yours. Spread freely as long as this and the disclaimer above as well as the story entirely are untouched, unedited, and worshipped for the holy script they are not.) Critiques, comments, flames, any responses are welcome, if they are pro, then I'll consider making more. Don't be a jerk, send me a simple 2-minute or less message saying, hey, this was good. Thanks. Wow, so hard.