I excused myself to use the restroom, slipping away without a backward glance. I needed to be alone, I felt, or at least away from my husband and the Prescotts. I went to the restroom, not really needing to pee, and I found it thankfully empty. I stood in front of the mirrors, looking at myself. I was unhappy, that was plain, and my makeup was hopelessly smeared. I reached for the tissue box and began wiping my face, wishing I could wipe away everything, finding someone new and different beneath. I was weary of this uncertainty. The guilt I could take, the punishments, the waiting even, but the uncertainty of what I was doing, what I should do, that was a burden I’d been unprepared for.

I’d been in there a few minutes, cleaning my face slowly, when the door opened and Charli and Lisa entered. They were smiling and happy, Lisa especially was fairly glowing with her recent pleasure and her body was flushed with color. I smiled at them, trying my best to hide away my doubts and fears, but I was never very good at that and I suspected Charli was especially keen at reading people.

“What’s wrong, dear?” She sensed immediately that I wasn’t right and I felt her hand on my shoulder. Lisa had gone into one of the stalls, leaving us alone for the moment.

“I’m okay.” I told her, pretending once more, but Charli wasn’t fooled.

“Tell me, its okay. Did someone say something to you?” Charli spoke softly and I think she was concerned that someone at the club had done something to upset me.

There was a need in me to talk to someone, to seek a sympathetic ear if nothing else. I’d felt that need before, in the foyer, and now it was back and I felt as if I had no choice but to act on it. Charli was a stranger to me, but then so was everyone else in the club really. She at least seemed to like me, although I knew she was friends with Paul and Angela. That was a small doubt however, and far outweighed by my desire to confess to someone.

“Can we…talk? Someplace…” I spoke slowly, glancing around the restroom, mostly I think so I wouldn’t have to look directly at Charli.

“Of course we can.” The woman nodded. “This way.”

Charli brought me to the boardroom as I called it, for no other reason than that’s what it looked like. It was large and well appointed with a long table and a dozen leather chairs around it. We were sitting close together and Charli listened while I told her everything.

“And you think Paul is the father of your baby?” Charli was still dressed in her red corset, beautiful as ever and more than a little intimidating, I confess. If ever there had been women born to be worshipped, she was one of them.

“Yes, Ma’am.” I sighed. She’d told me already we could drop the formalities for the time being, but I felt more comfortable with them. “He’s the only one it could be. I never slept with anyone else and my husband, back then…” I gestured with my hand. “…it couldn’t be his.”

“You have to tell them.” Charli told me gently. “You can’t hide that forever, not from your husband, and not from Paul.”

“But what if…” I licked my lips, trying to find the words to express my fears. “…I’m worried my husband will make a scene.” I glanced at Charli. “With Paul, you know?”

“He could.” Charli shrugged. “But that’s his choice, right? It isn’t up to you.”

“Jack never asked me who the father is.” I closed my eyes for a second.

“You want him to forgive you?” Charli asked me.

“Of course, yes.” I did look at her then, thinking that was obvious.

“Then tell him everything. You can’t have it one piece at a time, if he forgives you and then the truth come out later…” She gave me a small smile. “Better or worse?”

“Worse.” I looked down at my tummy, knowing she was right.

“Then do something about it.” Charli leaned forward, putting her hands on my shoulders. “Tonight, while they’re together.”

“Together?” I swallowed nervously.

“It’s the only way, trust me.” She was squeezing me gently. “If you tell one and not the other, they’ll be suspicious…Your husband will be suspicious. It’s a male thing.” Charli giggled softly. “He’ll wonder if Paul hadn’t planned this, planned something, whether it makes sense or not. If you surprise them both, if your husband sees that Paul doesn’t know, it’ll go easier with him.”

“Do you think so?” I searched her eyes and I found myself believing her.

“Yeah, I do.”

“But what about Angela?” I sighed, pursing my lips. I didn’t want to hurt her.

“Angela’s tough.” Charlie really did laugh then. “They have an open relationship, well…semi-open anyway.”

“Semi-open?” I wasn’t sure what that meant.

“Paul can pretty much do what, and who, he wants.” Charli grinned. “Angela does what he tells her to. Charles and I have much the same thing with our Lisa, it isn’t uncommon among the couples here.”

“Do you think she knows…” I was suddenly embarrassed at the thought that Angela might have known about me all evening.

“Probably.” Charli shrugged, “Or maybe not. It won’t bother her that Paul fucked you, I can tell you that. I have no idea what she’ll think about your baby being his.”

“She’ll hate me.” I said miserably, remembering Angela’s excitement and obvious envy.

“Oh, I don’t think so.” Charli shook her head. “You underestimate people a little too much I think. You underestimate yourself most of all. Your husband loves you; he’s already forgiven you I think.”

“Really?” I asked, not believing that very much. She didn’t know us very well.

“Yeah, but that’s just what I see.” She reached up to stroke my cheek. “Did you ever think maybe he’s just waiting for you to forgive yourself?”

I felt her words, more than heard them, and I wanted to believe her. I was aching inside, like a physical pain, a cramp way down deep in my soul. I couldn’t forgive myself, not yet, I was waiting for my husband. He was the one who would save me, I thought, I couldn’t do it by myself. It seemed like a catch-22 almost; I wouldn’t forgive myself until he forgave me. But Jack wouldn’t forgive me until I forgave myself.

“We never talk about it.” I said. “I mean specifically. Like there’s no words, I wouldn’t know how.” I didn’t even know what I was trying to express to Charli right then, but I think she understood.

“Tell them everything and maybe you’ll find the words…” Charli was hugging me, pulling us together. “…it’s the last thing, maybe the only thing keeping you apart.”

“I’m so scared.” I clutched the woman, closing my eyes, wondering where all this was leading me.

“You should be.” Charli kissed my cheek. “But if you respect your husband, if you want him to respect you…”

“I have to tell him, yes Ma’am.” I nodded slowly, rubbing my cheek against the top of Charli’s left breast. I could hear her heart beating softly in my ear and I wished mine were so strong and steady.

“There you are.” My husband smiled as Charli and I rejoined them. He was standing with Charles and Paul, while Angela and Lisa sat together on the sofa talking.

“We were just forming a search party.” Charles laughed.

“I was just cleaning up a bit, Master.” I said to Jack, trying my best to smile for him.

“We’re going to give Paul and Angie a ride home.” My husband told me.

“If it’s not too much trouble.” Paul smiled.

Charli was holding my hand and she gave me a little squeeze. I seemed to remember something about Angela leaving her purse in their car, but then she’d also told me they took a taxi. Or had that been someone else? I was momentarily confused and caught of guard and my smile faltered for a moment.

“Are you okay?” Jack frowned a little and the other two men looked at me as well.

“Maybe you should just take her home, Jack.” Paul said.

“No…No, I’m okay.” I smiled and looked at them. “The baby was just kicking a little, that’s all.”

“Why don’t you guys get the car and we’ll keep an eye on your girls.” Charli suggested, and after everyone agreed on that she led me to the sofa so we could sit down with Angela and Lisa. Charles joined us as well, getting comfortable in one of the arm chairs and calling Lisa over to sit on his lap.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” I asked Charli softly, “I mean they look so close to each other.”

Charles and Lisa looked very close. She had her arms around him, and their faces were close together, whispering and smiling and looking very much in love. If I hadn’t known better I would have thought they were married.

“No.” Charli smiled, taking no offense to my question. “They look good together.”

“They look yummy together, you mean.” Angela laughed.

“I don’t know, I guess…” I sighed. I was sitting next to a woman who had given my husband a blow job, and then watched as I did the same with hers.

“Charles and I were looking for Lisa for a long time.” Charli said seriously. “How long did we look for Lisa, darling?” She asked her husband.

“Lisa was busy divorcing her ex-husband.” Angela whispered in my ear with a giggle. “Long story.” I just gave her quick smile, finally realizing that these people probably knew each other very well.

“Hmmm? Oh, uh six years I guess…seven?” Charles shrugged and kissed Lisa on the lips. “Too long.”

“Yeah, seven years I think.” Charli nodded. “Since right after we were married.”

“Why?” I asked, not really understanding at all.

“Well, we’re both Dominant for one thing.” Charli laughed. “We both want to be on top. And we wanted to share someone, and be with someone who could be shared. That’s usually the hardest thing. Most people can’t give themselves to more than one person, at least not permanently.” She looked at her husband and Lisa, now kissing deeply, oblivious to everyone around them. “But she can.” 

And it was obvious that the woman was in love with both of them and I couldn’t even imagine that. All I wanted to do was devote myself to my husband. I could never share him, not like that.

“I couldn’t do it.” Angela chuckled. “I’d kill my husband if he ever looked at another woman the way he looks at me.”

I glanced at her, swallowing hard and wondering whether or not she really did know Paul had fucked me. “But you…I heard, um…You have an open relationship.” I looked at Charli who was nodding. “Right?”

“Yeah, we do.” Angela smiled. “But that’s just sex. I mean there’s sex, and…” she shrugged “…that’s nothing really. And then there’s friends, like you guys. And I’d never get jealous of a friend.” She was looking into my eyes and I was afraid to look away. “And then there’s me.”

“And there’s only one of you, Angela.” Charli giggled.

“And there’s only one of me, ma’am, damn right.” Angela laughed too.

“I had sex with your husband.” I said it before I even knew I was doing it, literally. It was as if I were voicing a thought that I’d meant to keep in my head, but hadn’t and I winced, closing my eyes.

“Excuse me?” Angela asked, sounding confused and I realized that hse hadn’t known anything. “Did you just say you and Paul…had sex?”

Everyone was looking, even Charles and Lisa had stopped kissing and just sat there. I hadn’t picked a very good place, or a very good time to play true confession and I could feel my eyes growing wet. But I’d never been able to keep a secret, not one that made me feel guilty the way that one had. It was why I’d told my husband the same day I’d cheated on him, and now I was telling Paul’s wife.

“He uh, seven months ago, I went to the clinic, where he works and somehow…” I was speaking so soft Angela had to lean close to hear me and I cleared my throat, glancing up. “I don’t know why, or anything it just…happened.”

“Shhh…” It’s okay, sweetie.” Charli was rubbing my shoulders and I really did have tears then.

“He hurt you, didn’t he?” Angela asked quietly, or perhaps it wasn’t a question, I couldn’t be sure.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t…”

“That bastard.” Angela reached out to touch my face and I jerked slightly, thinking at first she was going to hit me or something. “He knows better.” She was stroking my skin and all I could do was look down.

“I’m sorry, Angela.” I pressed my face against her hand.

“You’re just a child, how old are you?” She lifted my chin gently, and I could see only concern on her face. It was like she was just now seeing me for the first time.

“Twenty one. I…I was twenty when…” I closed my eyes. “…when we did it.”

“He knows better.” Angela glanced over my shoulder at Charli. “Just another notch. He couldn’t even remember her name. What an ass.”

“There’s more.” Charli said, and I think she was talking to me as much as Angela.

“More?” She narrowed her eyes while I took a deep breath.

I didn’t want to go on, but Charli seemed to think I should tell Angela everything. I was so frightened right then, I mean she seemed pretty angry with her husband already, but I was a little confused by it. I guess the sex part didn’t bother her as much as the who part, but she hadn’t even known me. But maybe she just knew my type. Young and inexperienced, probably very easy prey for Paul. I sensed that Angela was simply angry because her husband had such little respect for what had happened to me after he’d finished fucking me. It made me wonder if this hadn’t happened before with some other girl.

But now I was about to tell Angela that my baby was actually mine and Paul’s. That her husband had a child coming and I hadn’t really considered what all of that might mean. I’d spent seven months alone with it growing inside me. It had been mine and mine alone for so long, it just hadn’t occurred to me that it didn’t only belong to me anymore…or once I told him about it, at least. Then it would be ours. It would have parents, a mother and a father. I felt dizzy and my stomach churned as I tried to understand what all that meant while Angela waited impatiently, her fingers still on my face.

“We had sex seven months ago.” I said, slowly repeating what I’d told her before. I was looking into her bright green eyes, but there was only confusion there. She didn’t really understand until I looked down, bringing my hands to my stomach.

“You mean…” Her eyes got wide and then she was looking down too. “Your baby is…Paul’s?”

I nodded, feeling as if I might cry again and Angela’s hand fell away from my face slowly. Nobody was saying anything and I just sat there, holding my swollen stomach, feeling it warm and alive beneath the thin latex that covered it. I was bracing myself, waiting for the explosion I felt was certain to come. She must have been angry now, and not just with her husband. How could I have let myself get pregnant? She’d ask me that and I’d have no answer. And then she might ask why I was carrying it to term, and again there would be nothing I could say.

“Lisa’s husband doesn’t know who the father is.” Charli said.

“Mmmm…I’d guess not. They’re like bestest friends now.” Angela said sarcastically. “And you never told Paul?”

“No.” I said, shaking my head. “I…I’m sorry.” It was all I could say, and I’d said it so many times over the last seven months I’d begun to wonder what it really meant. Or if I really meant it. But of course I did, now more than ever.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Look at me.” Angela tilted my head again, forcing me to open my eyes with her voice. “It takes two to tango, I know, but he should have known better, believe me. He can be pretty charming though, can’t he?” She was trying to get me to smile, or at least relax, but I was too nervous, too worn out from trying to deal with all of the emotions in my head.

“He’s seriously charming.” Charli agreed, giving my shoulders a little squeeze. “That’s his problem. He gets away with too much.”

“Well, he’s not going to get away with this.” Angela said. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him, and Jack too. You must have been worried sick over this!” She was hugging me, putting her arms around me and holding me close and I almost started to think everything might be okay somehow. Angela would tell them everything and…

“You can’t tell them.” Charli said. “Lisa has to.”

“What? Why?” Angela pulled away slightly and I turned my head, wondering the same thing.

“Because it’s her baby, for one thing.” Charli gave us a little look, like that was obvious. “And for another, she needs to confess. Jack needs to hear it from her and understand that she’s sorry. If you try and get her off the hook, it’ll always be there between them.”

“But…” Angela started to protest but Charli cut her off.

“You can’t do it. You can’t apologize for Lisa and you can’t make everything right by protecting her. It’s between her and Jack and Paul.”

“I’m married to Paul.” Angela said. “He’s my husband, this is his baby.”

“I’m just telling you that Lisa has to break the news. It’s what she’s been waiting seven months for and after that…” Charli shrugged. “…you can say whatever you want.”

“Do you want me to tell them, Lisa?” Angela asked me.

She’d heard what Charli had been saying, but I don’t think she understood what I’d been going through, not the way Charli did. Angela wasn’t exactly impartial and that changed things maybe. She was sympathetic with me, and I was very grateful for that. Perhaps she’d been in a situation similar to mine, I had no idea. Or maybe Paul had placed her in this same position before, it certainly seemed possible, given her reaction.

“Charles, maybe you and Lisa could wait in the foyer in case the boys show up. We might be here for awhile.” Charli told her husband.

“Sure, babe.” Charles nodded, and Lisa hopped off of him. “We’ll wait in the elevator.”

“The elevator?” Lisa giggled. “Why, Master?”

“I’ve never done it in an elevator.” Charles shrugged. “Have you?

“Mistress told me not to tell you!” Lisa grinned at Charli.

“Traitor.” Charli laughed.

“Somebody’s gonna get a spanking later.” Charles said, leading Lisa out of the room. “I can feel it.”

“You mean I can feel it!” Lisa laughed and then they were gone.

I was smiling despite myself, almost forgetting everything in their pleasure, but Angela’s hand on my thigh reminded me that she was waiting for an answer. I wanted her to tell them, my husband and Paul, and save me from having to face them. But I had to agree with Charli, it was my baby and my problem, really. Not Angela’s. She was Paul’s wife, true, but it only involved her in an abstract way, at least for the moment. It seemed completely out of control, really, and I really wished I hadn’t said anything to her.

“No, I have to do it.” I sucked my lower lip for a second. “I have to tell them, or…I don’t know. My husband has to hear it from me, I think.”

“I want to be there, though.” Angela told me and I nodded. I wouldn’t mind having her there, I figured I’d need all the support I could get, and apparently Angela was on my side. I just didn’t understand why.

We were quiet for a little while. I tried to imagine the different things my husband might say, how he might react. I didn’t think he’d punch Paul in the nose, but he might. Or he might hit me, but I seriously doubted that. He’d be unhappy though, I knew that much. We’d gone almost 3 months without talking, and spent the last four growing gradually closer. But I sensed our relationship was still fragile and I was about to test the delicate balance we’d struck.

“What are you going to do with the baby?” Angela asked me.

“Jack doesn’t want it.” I said, making a small gesture of resignation. “I was going to get an abortion, but I couldn’t. It’s my baby, so…” I looked down at my tummy, “…I’m going to give it up for adoption.”

“Adoption?” Charli shook her head sadly. “We adopted a little boy last year, Mason. He’s going to be four next month.”

“I…” Angela started talking, then stopped, narrowing her eyes like she was focusing on something far away. “I didn’t really have a miscarriage. It was an abortion.”

We were quiet for a minute, just watching Angela.

“I was 16 and this guy, some guy I thought I loved, he uh…I got pregnant. And I looked for him, you know, and he was gone. Just like that. Took off and so I…” She looked at us finally and her eyes were wet. “Heh…You’d think I’d cried enough over this.” She wiped her eyes and shook her head. “I went to get an abortion but it didn’t work too good and…I dunno, it didn’t work and he was gone and…”

I hugged her, not saying anything, just pulling the woman close. Charli moved as well, getting up and sitting on the other side of Angela, so we could hold her between us.

“It was my first time.” She took a ragged breath. “We did it once and I was pregnant.” Angela looked at me. “God, what I wouldn’t give to have my baby back.”

“What happened?” I asked softly.

“He died.” Angela nodded, not really looking at anything anymore. Her eyes were almost vacant. “Inside me. I was bleeding and he came out and I couldn’t have kids anymore. I was sixteen.” She turned her head, looking at Charli. “But that’s what I deserve, right? For killing my baby? It’s fair, right?”

“Oh, Angie.” Charli sighed and there was nothing more we could say.

I understood then that Angela was in a far darker place than I was. All I needed was my husband’s forgiveness and I was saved. I’d be free from my guilt and able to respect myself again. To love myself. But Angela, who was going to forgive her? God? Maybe, but if He had, Angie didn’t know it. Her dead baby? There was no one else, or so it seemed anyway. She had to forgive herself, that was clear, but she was like me. She needed someone to show her how, to lead her out of that cold dark place she’d been in for nearly half of her life.

I didn’t understand all of it, or how it affected her, or what it meant in terms of her interest in BDSM and open marriage and whatever. I was still too new to all of this. It would take a psychiatrist, I thought, or a psychologist like her husband, and that thought gave me some hope. It seemed obvious to me that Paul loved his wife and so I felt equally sure he must be trying to help her with this. But he was a man, and he’d come after the fact, and he had his own wants and desires as well. Like having sex with me, which seemed totally at odds with a man who might have sympathy for Angela’s experience. But what did I know anyway?

I knew what I had to do.

“I want you to have my baby.” I told Angela, holding her hands in mine, feeling sure about a decision for the first time in a long time. A very long time. “It’s Paul’s baby too and I can’t keep it. I want you to be the mother of my child.”

“What?” Angela looked at me with tortured eyes. “Didn’t you hear what I said? I killed my baby…”

“I forgive you.” I said. “I trust you. Please, I want you to do this. Do it for my baby, for yourself, Angela. There’s a reason for this, for all of this…”

I could see it in her face, the desperation to believe me. She was looking for it so hard, the miracle I thought I could see, but was afraid to voice. This couldn’t be coincidence, could it? All of this, my pregnancy, Paul being the father, my husband’s reaction leading us here to find Angela. It wasn’t an accident, it was a sign, or so I wanted to believe. It was God finally forgiving her. She only had to say yes.

But she was so far gone. So deep in that hole, I just didn’t know.

“It wasn’t your fault, Angie.” Charli whispered. “You were just sixteen. You can’t blame yourself.”

“It’s your baby.” I told her, my voice stronger. “Yours now, please say yes. Please, Angela.”

“I’m afraid…” Angela squeezed my hands tightly.

“It’s okay…” Charli stroked Angela’s shoulders, whispering in her ear.

“It’s okay to be scared. I am too.” I said. “Here…feel this.” I brought Angela’s hands to my tummy, the baby was awake again, and restless. “Do you feel it? Can you feel it moving? It’s alive, Angela…It needs a mother. I can’t do it.”

“I feel it.” Angela was crying again, although she’d never really stopped.

“Wait…” I had an even better idea. “Unzip me.”

I turned around and Charli reached around Angela, pulling the zipper down. I stood up, reaching with my arms to pull the neck over my head, the material stretching as I did so until my shoulders slipped out of the back. I pulled my hands through, getting caught on my left glove for a moment in my haste, but it was a little thing and I soon had the rubber bodysuit down around my knees and thighs.

“Touch me now.” I said, setting down on the sofa, naked from mid-thigh up and wishing I could have taken off everything, but I didn’t want to spend the time on my boots.

I felt Angela’s hands, soft and warm and tentative, barely brushing my smooth round tummy with her fingertips. I just lay back, watching her, letting her explore my body. There was nothing else I could say to her, I knew, this was my last argument before Angela would decide if she was forgiven or not.

I sighed as Angela’s hands became stronger. She pressed her palms to my belly, sliding across my skin and smiling as she felt the baby hidden inside me. Charli was still behind her, playing her fingers across Angela’s shoulders and lightly down her arms to the elbows and back up. She was rubbing her breasts against Angela’s back, keeping the girl close, adding to the intimacy of the moment. We were all alone in that room, which may as well have been the world entire. 

“Try listening.” I suggested and shifted my body slightly, frowning at my legs.

“Need help?” Charli smiled, ever aware of what we were thinking it seemed, and she slipped down to the floor so she could undo the laces of my boots.

I smiled back, bringing my hands to Angela’s long red hair as she laid her cheek on my stomach, holding her breath I think as she listened. Every now and then she’d glance up at me, smiling child-like and moving her hands along the sides of my waist, caressing me. It was so pleasant like that, holding her and being held, sharing the baby inside me.

Charli had undone my leather boots and helped free me from the confines of the bodysuit. She stroked my legs and I arranged myself slowly, Angela moving so that she was lying between my spread legs, on her stomach with her cheek still against my skin. She didn’t resist bit only sighed gratefully as Charli began undressing her, removing Angela’s silk blouse and then her skirt, sliding it down the woman’s long legs.

“I heard it, I think.” Angela said softly, kissing my tummy. “It’s so beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” I replied, brushing Angela’s hair out of her eyes. “It’s your baby.” I prayed that she would accept that and not refuse my assertion.

“My baby.” She lifted her face, licking her lips nervously perhaps. “My baby…” She took a sharp breath, nodding her head and I let out the breath I was holding, accepting Angela eagerly as she moved carefully along my body, holding herself above so that we could kiss.

I had my arms around her, feeling Angela’s flat stomach against the fullness of mine, her breasts hanging down so that her hardening nipples grazed across my breasts. Her silky red hair fell around us like a shimmering veil and we kissed, gently at first, and then harder. Angela’s tongue entered my mouth and I felt as if a flood had suddenly been released. The tension fell away, the crises of the moment finally passed, and all that remained was the desire to be close with each other. I wanted to give myself to the woman completely, this was her body now, I thought, both of us sharing the child inside me until she could hold it in her arms.

I was pulling Angela down and she was resisting. “It’s okay,” I breathed. “You won’t break me.”

“But the baby…”

“Its fine, everything’s perfect.” I promised and Angela finally let herself go, her body pressing down on me, but not unpleasantly. She wasn’t very heavy at all and I liked the way she felt against my stomach.

We kissed again, deeply with our tongues exploring each other’s mouths. I bit and nibbled her lips, breathing her soft moans deep into my flushed body. My nipples were hard and burning as they pressed against Angela’s, and we were moving deliberately to feel the gentle friction of flesh on flesh.

“Mmmm…” I sighed as Angela moved her mouth down, licking and kissing at my neck and lower until she found my breasts with her mouth. She held them in her hands, squeezing my swollen tits in her hands and moving her kisses from one to the other and back. It was a wonderful torture as she’d tongue my turgid nipples for a moment and then suck it between her lips, chewing my plump swollen flesh for half a minute, until it just got really good, and then she’d switch. I was quivering from that delicious torment, and begging her to settle in one place, but she would giggle and move her mouth again.

I caught Charli out of the corner of my eye and she was content to watch us, sitting in one of the chairs with her long pale legs spread over the arms. She’d removed her panties and played with her sex, stroking her clit and occasionally slipping a long slender finger between her folds, pumping in and out for a few moments before pulling free, She smiled at me, nodding her head and I think she was as happy with the unexpected events of this evening as I was.

“I want to eat you.” Angela said softly, looking up at me.

“I’ve never been with a woman.” I laughed. My heart was beating rapidly and I was panting for air just from the girl’s attentions to my breasts.

“I’ll be gentle.” Angela giggled and then I felt her hand between my thighs, touching me lightly at first, exploring my vulva while she kissed my tummy.

I shuddered with pleasure at Angela’s touch. It had been 7 months since anyone had touched me there with anything approaching gentleness. My husband had touched me, during one of our scenes, and occasionally at home, but only to spank my pussy, or put clamps on my labia, punishing my sex for betraying him. Now I was being loved, my sex caressed and soothed by Angela’s knowing fingers. Whether it was because she was experienced, or merely because she was a woman, I didn’t know, but she was making me feel better than any man had ever done. 

“Hsss…” I sucked air between my teeth as Angela penetrated me finally. Her mouth was low on my tummy, very close to my sex, and she’d pushed a finger inside me, marveling at how tight I was inside.

“I haven’t had sex in seven months.” I giggled breathlessly, lifting my hips as much as I was able, trying to fuck myself on her finger as it wriggled inside me. It felt much larger than it was and I’d missed that feeling, the unpredictable pleasure of someone else inside my sex.

I rubbed my tummy, closing my eyes and arching my back as Angela’s mouth finally found my pussy. I’d had oral sex before, but not often and it hadn’t really been all that good. I remember how I’d wondered what all the fuss was about; now I knew. Angela’s tongue played around my clit at first, avoiding it and making my hips shake with anticipation. My clitoris was hard and full, burning with desire and she just went around it slowly, her finger twisting and curling inside me.

“Ohhh my…my….” I was gasping when the girl finally relented, flicking the tip of her tongue across my clit suddenly, and then again, quickly until I could barely stand it and I was cumming. She sucked my clit between her lips like a tiny cock, pinching it gently and all I could do was press my thighs against her, lifting my hips and moaning loudly as my senses were stolen with the pleasure she was giving me.

I must have cum 3 or 4 times at least, one after another so that they blur together in memory. One long orgasm that left me bathed in sweat and unable to breathe. All I could do was whisper barely coherent words of thanks and praise while I stroked her hair. Angela made her way back up slowly, sliding her body gently over mine until I could kiss her, tasting myself on her lips and tongue. 

“We’re going to do this a lot.” She promised me and I just smiled.

“You’re going to be a mommy.” I told her and I had the intense pleasure of watching her features change, from the sexual passion we’d shared to something else, deeply personal and filled with emotion.

“A mommy.” She sighed and we kissed again.

It was getting late and it was only with reluctance that we dressed slowly. Charles had returned, without Lisa.

“Well, we had to find some way to keep Paul and Jack busy.” He grinned. “They’re in the bedroom with her.”

“The bedroom?” I asked Angela and she laughed, pulling up her skirt.

“You let them take her to the bedroom?” Charli shook her head with a giggle. “She’ll eat them alive. You should have found someplace else.”

“It’s the Safe Room, no BDSM allowed in there.” Angela grinned at me. “Just sex. It doesn’t get used as much as you might think.”

“I didn’t let them do anything, it was her idea.” Charles told Charli with a laugh. “But the other rooms are being used. Anyway, looks like you girls sorted everything out.” He smiled at us and Angela nodded.

“Yes we did, thank you, Sir.” Angela gave him a happy look.

“Anytime, but I don’t think your husbands are gonna be of much use for a couple days. Lisa can be a little…” Charles looked to his wife for help. “What’s the word?”

“Insatiable.” Charli laughed.

We left the room together, Charles and Charli to retrieve their pet, Angela and I to save our husbands from her reputed appetite. We’d be going to Angela and Paul’s house and I knew I’d tell the two men once we got there that the baby in my tummy was Paul’s. And while they decided what to do about that, Angela would tell them that she and her husband were going to adopt it. Whatever issues remained after that would be their problem, not ours. Angela and I had already decided that, and after what we’d gone through that evening, wrestling with our guilt and fear, dealing with Jack and Paul was going to be easy.

For my part, it would be a lie to say I felt no reluctance at giving up my baby, but I was comforted by the fact that it was the correct thing to do. It would reconcile me with my husband, but more importantly it would give Angela back a portion of her life that she’d lost as little more than a child. I’d suffered for seven months, never knowing where that path would end, but only hoping for my own redemption in the eyes of my husband. But now I’d found so much more than that, and once my husband understood what had happened and how, and perhaps even the miracle of why, I knew I’d regain his love and respect.

And I was determined never to lose it again. 

The bedroom really was just a bedroom. A large one to be sure and nicely furnished, but in essence like any master bedroom you could imagine. Except that I didn’t usually imagine my husband fucking a Girl Scout in my bedroom at home.

The room was what they called the ‘Safe Room’ or the ‘Haven’ sometimes, but usually just the bedroom, and it was the one room inside the club where Master/slave rules were waived completely. There were no scenes allowed, not even by mutual consent. It was most often used by couples or Unions as they were called, to resolve any problems that might have arisen from misunderstanding or disagreement. It was a meeting place of equals in a club that otherwise recognized equality on purely an abstract level. It said as much for the club’s selection process as the quality of its membership that the room was only rarely required for its original intent.

Jack was on his back with Lisa straddling his hips, my husband’s hard penis pushed deeply inside the girl’s pussy. He was naked completely, and flushed with the excited effort of fucking her and I felt a momentary stab of jealousy. It had been a very long time since he’d taken me that way and I thought I could feel the emptiness between my thighs.

Lisa was still dressed, although looking rather disheveled as her blouse hung open and loose, her skirt bunched around her waist, and her knee high socks askew around her ankles. She was noisy, groaning and urging the men on. Paul, was behind her, pushing his large cock into Lisa’s ass, giving the girl a double penetration that I’d only heard about really, and never imagined I’d actually witness.

The girl was sandwiched between the two handsome men, kissing my husband occasionally, but mostly just tilting her youthful pretty face towards the mirrored ceiling and crying out. I didn’t even want to think about trying to take Paul’s cock in my ass, my husband was a good size for it, but Paul…I gave a small shudder and watched with rapt attention. Lisa was plainly enjoying it, and even trying to push herself back on the two men as she was stretched to the limit I was sure.

We were all in the bedroom, Angela and I, with Charli and Charles, watching our husbands and pet. They knew we were there, of course and all three of the people on the bed had looked at us, however briefly and offered smiles and grunted gasping words of greeting. My husband especially was watching me, pressing into my namesake with his cock, fucking her while he watched me. Another punishment, perhaps, or was he thinking of me that way? I liked to imagine he was missing me right then, and wishing it were me instead of that other girl he was fucking. But I couldn’t know.

“Do you need a little something, dear?” Charli was whispering to her husband, rubbing the bulge in his trousers.

I’d sat down in a plush Queen Ann chair, turning it slightly to get a better view, and Angela had sat down on the carpet between my legs, rubbing my thighs gently. The jealousy had passed, and that was as sure a sign as any that I was changing, or already changed I suppose. My husband was fucking another woman and it made me feel…I don’t know, confused, a little. Mostly because I thought I’d be angry or something, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t ecstatic either, by any means, it was more acceptance really. I even found myself enjoying it because they were so beautiful like that and it was an exciting penetration. This was new for me, once again and like so many other experiences I’d had so quickly.

“Would you mind, Lisa?” Charli was looking down at me, standing next to her husband and they were both smiling. “I think he’s wanted you all night.”

I blinked at them and I think I even blushed for a moment as the woman’s words caught me by surprise. They shouldn’t have though, not after everything else. This was casual sex, the very definition of it and I’d entered the place willingly, side-by-side with my husband. Why should I be surprised that Charles wanted me and even more, he and his wife had no reluctance asking me if I’d be willing.

“Go for it.” Angela giggled and gave my thigh a little slap.

“Uh, okay.” I swallowed, glancing at my husband and thinking he couldn’t really object, could he? It was all rather surreal.

I didn’t even have to move, Charles just wanted me to suck his cock, that was all and he was tall enough that all I had to do was lean forward a little, not very much at all. Angela moved to the side and Charli was unzipping her husband’s pants, pulling his large semi-hard cock free and stroking it in front of my face.

“Go on…” Charli breathed. “…suck him for me…” She was as excited as any of us, I realized, and I felt the heat rising inside me. Having a woman I barely knew feed me her husband’s penis was beyond anything life had prepared me for. 

I kissed the tip and then parted my lips, allowing Charli to rub her husband’s cockhead around my mouth, teasing me with it. Angela’s hand had crept between my legs, insisting that I spread them as much as I was able to she could play with my latex covered sex. I felt Charli’s right hand on the back of my head, not pushing, just caressing me, holding me in place while I licked and kissed at the penis in front of me.

“Kiss my balls, warm them up for me…” Charles said, and then Charli did give me a little pull, bringing my mouth down to his soft sack while she rubbed the length of his penis over my face.

He wasn’t overly large, not like Paul, and his cock looked much the same as my husband’s in size and shape. He tasted different however, his skin as I took his balls in my mouth one at a time, washing them modestly and taking my time. He smelled different as well, and not unpleasant at all. It was a sweet smell, vaguely feminine, but he wasn’t anything but a real man. All of them were, Charles, Paul, and my husband. They shared that same quality of knowing what they wanted and not being afraid to get it. Charles was simply more subtle than the others, Paul the impetuous and aggressive, and my husband somewhere in the middle I suspected. It was aspect of human nature I’d never appreciated before.

“Mmm…That’s good…good girl…” Charles murmured and I glanced up, showing him my eyes as his cock throbbed against my cheek.

“She’s so beautiful.” Charli agreed. “I love watching her suck your cock.” She kissed her husband deeply as I took his cockhead in my mouth finally.

Angela was rubbing me all the while as well, and it was making me feel good. I was moving my ass, just a little, pressing myself to her fingers as she rubbed me through the thin material covering my sex. It was such a tease like that and I’d learned to love and hate the outfit my husband had bought. It allowed pleasure without direct contact or penetration, and it was bringing my lust to a boil.

I moved my mouth up and down Charles’ cock, and Charli was my hand, holding him steady and pumping him in time with my lips until I was ready to take all of him. I pushed myself down easily, feeling his swollen member filling me and then pressing for entrance to my throat. I swallowed around him, holding myself open so that the head pushed into the confines of my throat and it was a perfect fit, much as my husband’s cock always seemed to be.

“Ohhh…yes….that’s it, honey…” Charles pushed out with his hips a little, but he was already as far inside my hungry mouth as he was going to get.

“God, that looks so hot…Hold him there, Lisa…” Charli breathed, pressing against the back of my head, keeping her husband’s cock in my throat while I held my breath as long as I could.

“I’m going to cum…Uh fuck…” I was vaguely aware of my husband’s voice coming from the bed, but I could see nothing of course. My nose was in Charles’ pubic hair, his balls against my chin.

“Not yet…Uhhh please…naaah…not yet…” Lisa was begging loudly, wanting my husband to wait while Paul continued to fuck her ass hard. She wanted them to cum together I think, or maybe she was just really close herself, but it had seemed like she’d been cumming non-stop since before we’d entered the room.

Angela was kissing my thigh, biting me through the rubbery material, and rubbing my cunt hard. I was wet and puffy down there, my sex contracting with little spasms of desire. I rocked my hips and held my tummy, massaging the great round swell of my body as I pulled my mouth slowly off Charles’ cock, drinking cool air as spit and precum fell from my lips, falling on my stomach and I spread the wetness with my fingers.

“Almost there…Ugh…yeah…fuck it baby…make me cum…” Paul was grunting now as well, pumping the girl sandwiched between him and my husband. They were all close and it was almost impossible to distinguish their passionate moans of pleasure. 

I returned to the penis in front of me, Charli helping me with her hands, working my mouth into an easy rhythm, up and down while my tongue worked the underside of Charles’ cock. I sucked him hard, making loud wet noises as the seal of my lips was broken every few seconds. I swallowed the juices filling my mouth quickly. My husband was cumming, he was groaning loudly and Lisa was giving high pitched yelps as she joined him. A moment later Paul told everyone that he was cumming as well, filling the girl’s ass with his semen.

The sounds filled my ears, even as the taste and smell and texture of Charles and his wife filled my other senses. I was pressing myself against Angela’s fingers, feeling my own orgasm impending. My body burned inside and out, my lungs labored and my baby kicked in protest as I shook with pleasure. I felt Charli’s fingers digging in my hair, the knot that I’d pinned up coming loose and undone. She held my head steady and pulled her husband’s cock from my lips, stroking him quickly while he moaned encouragement.

He was close, Charles was going to cum and his wife jerked him off over my open mouth. I was lost to anything but that desire to taste him, to feel his hot cum washing over my skin. I was fucking myself against Angela’s hand while she bit my thigh almost painfully. I was dimly aware of her own whimpering beneath me and I understood that she’d been rubbing her own sex in time with mine, bringing us both to climax together.

“Ugh…here…it…cums!” Charles’ groaned, arching his back slightly as Charli’s hand moved quickly up and down his glistening wet shaft. She was breathing hard and gave a sudden gasp of delight when her husband’s cock seemed to contract for just a split second and then expand in the woman’s hand. Heavy spurts of milky semen flew from the tip, three or four jets in rapid succession laying thin white lines of sperm across my cheeks and nose and mouth, all the way to forehead. Some went in my eye with a slight burning sensation, but barely noticed as Charli brought my mouth to her husband’s cock once more.

I was cumming, even as I took Charles’ ejaculating penis in my mouth, sucking and tasting his cum as it filled my mouth. I was shuddering and moaning, clutching my tummy as Angela brought my charged clit to screaming life. It was all too sensitive suddenly, as if struck by lightning and I jerked my body like I might get away, but that was a myth. I was lost in it completely, nursing on the cock in my mouth instinctively while my senses were overwhelmed with the pure physical joy of my orgasm.

Angela too was cumming I think, and perhaps even Charli, who was kissing her husband even as she milked his penis for every drop of sperm. It was all wildly wicked and delicious and I’d swallowed some of Charles’ sperm, but I’d had sense enough to save some as well, and as I was coming down from that glorious high Angela had given me, she was there, embracing me and accepting my spermy kiss.

“That was good.” Charles said in his understated fashion. “Really good.”

“I could tell.” Charli giggled and they stood there watching as Angela licked my face clean.

“Three times isn’t enough?” I heard my husband’s happily teasing voice, but he did sound a little worn out.

“Awww…There’s still a little life here!” Lisa was sucking my husband’s cock, trying to coax another erection out of him. At the same time she stroked Paul’s flaccid cock, glancing at it expectantly. The two men were lying side by side on the bed, making faces and it was sort of cute.

“We better take her home.” Charles laughed and his wife nodded.

“Come on, Pet…before you break something.” Charli slapped her thigh as if she was calling a dog and Lisa just laughed, pulling her mouth away from Jack’s penis with a soft wet plop.

“See you guys later.” She kissed them both and slipped off the bed, joining her two owners with kisses and hugs as they left the room, closing the door behind them with a loud snick.

“You think this is a good time?” I asked Angela quietly and she shrugged.

“Maybe. They’re relaxed anyway.” She giggled, but it was a nervous sound.

“What are you two whispering about?” Paul asked with a good natured smile.

“If they want sex…” My husband sighed theatrically, “Call me next week. Jesus that girl was crazy.”

“No shit.” Paul nodded and it was clear that our husband’s had taken a friendly liking to each other.

I could almost put my worries behind me, all the uncertainties and fears I’d been contemplating for much too long. I had to tell the two men about my baby and who the father was, and that made me nervous, but after going through what I had with Angela, after hearing her story, my own pain and doubts seemed much less than I’d made them out to be. I’d suffered with guilt and remorse and begged forgiveness for seven months. Angela had suffered much worse since she’d been sixteen. Compared to that, this was going to be easy, I thought, however it turned out.

But I was still scared as hell.

“I uh, I have to tell you guys something.” I said, standing slowly and leaving Angela to sit on the floor behind me as I approached the bed.

“Okay.” My husband shrugged. “Both of us?”

“Yeah.” I swallowed hard and looked down, the way I was accustomed to, but I didn’t want that. I forced myself to look at them, taking a ragged breath.

“It’s okay.” Angela said softly, reminding me that I wasn’t alone.

“It’s about my baby…ummm…” I touched my stomach, feeling myself still hot inside.

“Alright.” My husband said slowly, sitting up a little.

“Paul…” I glanced at him and found it to be more than a glance, I couldn’t look away. “Paul’s the father of my baby.”

“Wha…” My husband started.

“He’s the man I had sex with.” I looked at my husband and this time I did lower my eyes, looking down at my swollen tummy, stroking it with my fingers. “It’s his child.”

“Are you sure?” Paul asked, like he couldn’t believe me for some reason.

“Shut-up, Paul.” Angela said loudly.

“You think she’s lying?” My husband said it sarcastically, like he couldn’t believe Paul would ask a question like that.

“No, I just…” he looked at my husband. “Well, somebody had to ask.” He flashed his charming smile, but I didn’t think that was going to help.

“It’s yours.” I said, looking at him. “You’re the only one I…” I licked my lips, glancing at my husband. “The only one I did it with.”

“Is that it?” My husband asked me.

I didn’t understand what he meant. Wasn’t that enough? I had been expecting him to be a little more emotional, or something. Maybe yell at me, or Paul probably. Didn’t he have anything to say to the man who’d gotten me pregnant? Jack was just sitting there on the bed, and right next to him was Paul, as if they were lovers or something, both of them naked, still a little flushed from fucking Lisa. It was surreal and confusing. My husband had never reacted the way I’d expected, ever since the beginning.

“Uh, there’s more.” I admitted slowly. “I’m…you know I’m giving up the baby, I have to.” I was talking to myself as much as anyone, feeling a stab of reluctance, but knowing I had no choice.

“I’m going to adopt Lisa’s baby.” Angela said, squeezing my shoulders gently. “We’re going to adopt it.” She said to her husband.

“Are you sure?” Paul asked, imitating his question to me, but this time his voice was soft and generous with love.

“Yeah.” Angela nodded, giving him a smile. “I am.”

“Oh, Angie…” Paul started to rise from the bed.

“Don’t…” Angela held up her hand. “I’m going to be mad at you for a long time I think. Don’t spoil it, Paul. Just be quiet and get dressed.”

“Mad?” Paul asked, but he was doing as he was told, looking around for his pants.

“She was just a kid, Paul. You should have known better.” Angela was shaking her head. “And without any protection? What did you think was going to happen?”

“I thought she was playing…” Paul shrugged. “I mean, yeah, okay, she’s a kid, she didn’t have a clue what she wanted, but we get a lot of strange women, honey, you know that…”

“Don’t honey me.” Angela shook her head. “You’re shirt’s over there.”

“I thought it was like a fantasy thing…” Paul glanced at my husband who was just sitting there listening, the same way I was. “She wasn’t going to castrate Jack, believe me. She was just looking for rationalization. I see it all the time, Angie. Women need an excuse…”

“And men don’t, yeah, we know.” Angela said sarcastically. “Get your socks, it’s going to be cold on the couch.”

“Angie…” Paul pouted a little and looked at me. “I’m sorry, Lisa, I really am.”

And that was the first time he told me he was sorry, and really the first time I even thought about it. I guess he did owe me one, but Angela had been right, it did take two to tango, so I wasn’t comfortable with him taking all the blame. Before I could say anything though, Angela was hurrying him along.

“Yeah, very sorry…Come on, doctor, you’re lucky she doesn’t sue you for malpractice.” Angela gave me a little smile and a hug and then a kiss. “Talk to your husband, it’ll be okay.” But I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. I don’t think she’d expected my husband’s subdued reaction any more than I had.

“Bye.” I kissed her one more time and she gave my tummy a little pat.

“Uh, bye Lisa.” Paul looked at me, still apologetic. “Jack…” he gave my husband a wan smile.

“Paul.” My husband nodded, neither smiling nor frowning.

Two minutes later we were alone, my husband and I, in a bedroom that belonged to no one at all. 

“What are you thinking?” I asked, desperately wanting some clarity for the first time in seven months. I was tired of being confused and afraid all the time, why couldn’t he just tell me what he wanted?

“I think you need to meet our sponsors.” Jack shrugged. “Sit down.”

“What?” I stared at him, trying to decipher what that meant. It made no sense at all and I thought perhaps I hadn’t heard him correctly, but I knew I had.

“Paul will send them in.” Jack was almost smiling and that bothered me more than anything else. “Just sit down, you’ll see.”

“Paul? What?” I did sit down, mechanically and without thinking. My mind was trying to understand, but there just wasn’t enough information.

The door opened a few minutes later.

“Clarice?” I stood up, suddenly so surprised I thought I was going to have my baby on the spot. “James?”

The woman, whom I hadn’t seen in more than seven months, was walking into the room, smiling. She was dressed nicely, as if she were attending a formal dinner or something, with a black strapless dress and her hair done beautifully. She was older, but a very attractive woman and her confidence was tangible, as always. The only thing truly out of place, in my opinion, was the leather riding crop she was carrying.

And her husband, James, was dressed the opposite from how I’d ever seen him, let alone imagined him. He was wearing black women’s stockings and leather high heels, with a garter belt of black lace. His soft cock hung down, but it was obvious he had no balls. His body was smooth and hairless where his scrotum should have been. He had clamps on his nipples, like alligator clips, and a chain ran loosely between them. Around his neck he wore a stainless steel choker.

“Lisa.” The woman smiled and crossed the room, “How are you dear?”

“Hello Jim.” My husband gave James a little nod and they spoke about something, but I was too busy staring at Clarice to notice.

“What are you doing here?” I didn’t know what to say or think. This was the woman who’d suggested I castrate my husband. She was the one who’d gotten me into this mess.

“I’m one of the board members.” Clarice smiled and she was enjoying my confusion, I could tell. “How do you like the club?”

“I don’t understand.” I looked past her at my husband. “Jack? What’s going on?”

“Uh, well…” He smiled at me. “I have a confession to make.”

“Oh, let me! I’ve been waiting so long.” Clarice laughed lightly. “Jack was one of my lovers, dear. I’m sorry to have to tell you that, but it’s true…”

“When?” I stared at my husband.

“After we were married…a few months.” Jack cleared his throat.

“I’m afraid I was the reason for his lack of…” She glanced over her shoulder, “…interest? Or maybe just ability is a better word.”

“Well, I think that was Roselyn, actually.” James suggested with a smile.

“Who’s Roselyn?” I blinked, trying to understand. I had more important questions in my head than that one, but that was the one that came out. I sat back down slowly.

“She’s one of Clarice’s girls…” My husband started saying.

“One of my little subbies. You met her once, I believe.” Clarice laughed. “Once Jack discovered his Dominant side, well, there was just no going back, you see.”

I didn’t see. I didn’t see at all. But I did finally remember Roselyn, the Hispanic girl I’d met briefly at Clarice’s house. But I didn’t she what she had to do with any of this.

“I was cheating on you.” Jack admitted. “With Clarice, and another woman, a submissive.”

“Learning the ropes.” James added drolly.

“You cheated…on me?” I felt like I was going to be sick.

“I didn’t think you’d like it…” Jack was trying to explain, “…like this sort of thing. I wanted to tell you, to show you but…”

“He was worried, Lisa.” Clarice said seriously. “First because he had cheated on you, and more because he didn’t want to stop. Not because he loved me, or even Roselyn, you’re the only one he loves, but he was convinced you’d never understand and your husband…” Clarice smiled and touched my shoulder, “…he does enjoy this so much.”

“You could have told me.” I felt my eyes growing wet. “All you had to do was say something!”

“He did say something.” Clarice said gently. “To me and, well I had an idea.”

“An idea?” I stared at her.

“I suggested Jack might find a way to convince you that you needed punishment, so to speak. I knew right away you were submissive, but a little repressed I think. A little too upright, you might say.” Clarice chuckled. “I think you would have resisted Jack if he’d tried to introduce you to this lifestyle.”

“It’s always best when someone comes willingly.” James said. “Perhaps we should ask Theresa to join us?”

“Willingly? Is that what you call this? So Paul…he was in on it?” I was starting to put it together, I thought. 

“Yeah, he…I met him a long time ago.” My husband admitted.

“Who’s Theresa?” I asked, feeling ever more confused and reacting slowly. This was all too much all at once.

“Doctor Lyons?” Clarice smiled. “You remember her, I’m sure.”

“She’s…here?” I stared at the woman.

“She’s another one of the board members.” James told me.

“Yes, she’s here tonight, with her slave, Stacy.” Clarice realized I didn’t understand at all. “Nurse Ryan? She’s Theresa’s submissive.”

“You were in on this? All of you?” I looked around the room. I felt as if my whole life had been a dream, an elaborate hoax. It hurt.

“Well, you needed a man.” Clarice shrugged. “And Paul is a man, isn’t he?” She sounded almost wistful. “I don’t think any of us expected him to make you pregnant though.”

“No, I don’t think we did.” My husband did frown at that, a little. “I never blamed you for that. I never blamed you for any of it.”

“We just wanted you guilty and eager to please.” Clarice was still touching me. “I do love you both so much and I just wanted to see you here, discovering what we have to offer.”

“This is how you get members?” I almost laughed. It was unbelievable, all of this. “So you never meant anything about castrating Jack?”

“Castrating Jack?” Clarice laughed. “Good heavens no, my dear. I just wanted to get the idea in your head, and that was Jack’s idea really.”

I stared at my husband and he offered an ironic smile.

“You were always talking about Clarice.” He shrugged. “Clarice this, Clarice that, whatever she said was gospel, so…” His eyes were filled with guilt. “I’m sorry, Lisa.”

“So I mentioned castration.” Clarice smiled at me. “Don’t be too angry and don’t be sad, it was a trick, yes. But we did it for you, dear. To bring you and your husband closer. Paul was happy to help, but of course we couldn’t tell Angela, unfortunately. She is rather protective and she would have worried, I think.”

“But…my baby…” I looked down, not knowing what I felt.

“That seems to have worked out especially well, don’t you think?” James said, he was sitting on the bed now.

“Like I said, we didn’t expect that, but once Paul found out well, it was just a matter of bringing you and Angela together at the right place and the right time.” Clarice looked quite happy with herself.

“I wanted to tell you everything.” My husband said, his voice filled with shame. “Months ago, but, I’m sorry…We had to keep going. For Angela.”

“For Angela…” I squeezed my eyes shut.

“We needed to convince you to give up your child.” Clarice said gently. “Your husband needed to convince you.”

“You’ve saved her.” James said, trying not to sound melodramatic. “She had so much fear and you’ve given her a reason to overcome it now. She’ll have a child with her husband, one she can love and protect.”

“You did that for her.” Clarice nodded, lifting my chin. “You suffered for her, more than yourself. I know you’re angry and confused, and I’m so sorry for that. We all are, but I hope you’ll forgive us, Lisa. We all love you very much.”

“I was dying inside.” I looked at her, blinking back tears. “You should have told me.”

“You were forgiven from the beginning, Lisa. Your husband never blamed you for any of it; in fact he’s the one who needs your forgiveness. He’s been waiting for seven months, worried and uncertain, dreading this day, but knowing it would come. He needs you now…”

My husband had come over to me, and now he knelt close as I sat there, struggling with my feelings. “I’m sorry, Lisa. I love you so much. Please forgive me, I only want you to be happy. I’ll do anything to make it up to you, anything at all…”

I had suddenly found our positions reversed, and then I realized they’d been reversed all along. My husband had been the one suffering with the truth, knowing I would have to learn of this elaborate lie and uncertain of my reaction. He’d fought to hide his true feelings for me, trying to maintain his distance and I looked back over the months and recognized those moments when he’d failed. When he’d given me tenderness and love, for just a moment or two before catching himself. He’d never blamed me for anything, never been angry with me.

He’s cheated on me though. Much more so than I had, and much sooner after our wedding. Within months it seemed, with Clarice and this other girl whom I didn’t know. Because they’d been able to give him what I couldn’t, not until now. I was remade by the experience, the hoax they’d played, so that I was the willing submissive that my husband required. And I’d suffered, yes, for my husband’s purpose at first, and then later for Angela. I was giving up my child for a lie? That thought struck me hard and it seemed a cruel betrayal, far more so than anything else that had happened to me.

And now my husband was on his knees, begging forgiveness, yearning for my respect, just as I’d been doing for so long. Could I ever respect him again? Could I ever trust him, or Clarice, or anyone? I was suddenly the innocent and I wondered if my experience with guilt, imagined though it might have been, was going to be enough to guide me through the most difficult decisions of my life. Empathy was one thing, but where did the scales of justice truly balance?

“Anything?” I asked my husband softly.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I was huge, waddling through the kitchen a week away from my due date. I could barely sleep at night and I kept my husband up all hours, asking him to rub my legs, or massage my back, or just to talk to me. He was good about it, usually, and his sleepy complaints were good natured. Mostly because once I felt his hands on me, 9 months pregnant or not, I was instantly horny. It was like my sex drive had gone through the roof during this final month of my pregnancy.

Jack would hold me and kiss me and massage my breasts, which were swollen as well now, and already producing thin milky fluid. My breasts ached all the time and that was always good for me, being milked for lack of a better term. I could even talk Jack into nursing on my nipples occasionally, and that was almost enough to make me cum. The feel of his mouth on my breasts, sucking and nibbling gently while his fingers caressed my puffy sex…He brought me off quickly and I loved him for it.

“Here we are!” Angela was coming through the kitchen door, smiling and beautiful as ever. She’d cut her hair down to her shoulders, styling it with a French wave, and I gasped when I saw her.

“What did you do?” I let her embrace me, kissing me on the lips and I felt just the tip of her tongue teasing me.

“Do you like it?” She rolled her eyes upward as if she could see it. “I thought I’d try the mommy look, you know.”

“Mmm…” I smiled. “I like it.”

“Hey Angie.” Jack walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “Have you lost weight?”

“Oh you!” Angela laughed and raised her fist.

“You look great, give me a kiss.” Jack grinned and I watched as she gave my husband a whole lot more tongue than she’d given me.

“Break it up you two.” I laughed. “Pregnant woman coming through.” I pushed between them. “Where’s Paul?”

“Right here…” Angela’s husband answered, coming through the door.

“And there he is…Come here; give your Aunt Lisa a kiss, big boy!” I bent down, taking a little breath against the discomfort as Paul put his son, Paul Jr. on the floor. He was almost two now and he was finally learning to run farther than 5 or 6 feet without falling down.

I held my arms wide and he was smiling, running into my arms and falling forward at the last moment, convinced I’d catch him as I always did. I gave him a hug, kissing his cheeks and smelling his clean blonde hair. He was handsome as his father, but he had his mother’s eyes, bright and blue and right then they were shining just for me.

“Hey, what about daddy?” Paul smiled down at me, bending over so I could kiss him, running my tongue across his lips and then giving him a little bite.

“Ow!” Paul gave me an injured look like I’d hurt him, but I hadn’t. “What’s that for?”

“For being you!” I laughed, turning my attention back to the boy in my arms.

“Think fast.” My husband tossed Paul a beer and they went outside, into the backyard to start the grill and talk about whatever it was men talked about on a sunny summer afternoon.

“She’s getting feisty…” Paul was saying and I could hear my husband laughing as the screen door swung closed behind them.

“He’s so beautiful, isn’t he?” I looked up at Angela and she was glowing with pride. “He’s going to be dangerous when he grows up!” I laughed, letting the boy go so he could find the toys we kept for him in the living room.

“Like his dad, yeah.” Angela agreed, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. She slipped her hand inside my blouse, pressing her palm to my stomach and the baby inside. “Very dangerous.”

 

The End