Rants, Tantrums, and Hissy Fits
Complete with pictures of...Black sluts (But Mom!
All the other girls have pimps!)
Even Some More More Rants
Okay, I think this will have to do it for now. I'm feeling kind of ranted out and I'm tired of trying to clean up other people's crappy pornographic pictures and make them fit my web page. So, this will be the last of my so-called rants and I hope you've ignored tham and concentrated on the world peace problem. Jeeze! That one's been kicking my butt for awhile now and God's getting impatient!
What else? Ummm...I guess there's really nothing else to say. Most of these blogs appeared at one time or another on Stories Online and most readers generally ignore me over there because, hey...let's face it, I'm kinda weird! SOL is a haven for people looking for cheeerleader harem mind-control stories involving revenge, romance, and ...I need another "r" word. Let's see...revenge, romance, and...I dunno, whatever it is, they ain't getting it from me 9 times out of 10!
So fuck 'em! - rr
An email about aliens blowing up cities...
2009-08-26This is a real email, exhibited here in its entirety and I found it vaguely amusing. Maybe you will too. Who knows?
On 8/26/09, SOL Feedback <[email protected]> wrote:
Message from: <[email protected]> :
Yeah, bullshit. Frankly, any person or alien who
would blow up entire CITIES just to 'make a point'
is a war criminal, a sociopath, and should be put
in the nearest jail cell or EVACUATED into the
cold embrace of space.
That's what I don't get about some people: they
are able to justify killing in SO many ways, and
don't even realize that THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION
FOR KILLING, save one and ONLY FUCKING ONE: if a
person is trying to kill you at that very moment
from 10 meters or less away from you or trying to
kill someone else from that close to you!
Any other time (and this includes when the
MILITARY is doing it from 10K feet in the
air)...... it is murder and is WRONG!
==================
My only reply to those of you who would echo similar thoughts can be:
Hi, Thanks for reading and thanks especially for taking the time to drop me a line.
Don't confuse me with my characters. I'm much taller :))
Best always!
Rachael==================
Talis and my (edited) Plausibility Rant
2009-08-12This story is kind of weird. "The first title it had was, "As if I didn't have enough problems" and then it became "My life without pockets" and finally, "Talis"
Currently it ends after three chapters, but I might write more. I'm posting those few chapters slowly to give me time to decide what I want to do.
Thanks.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"How Plausible Does A Story Have To Be?"
Kind of a funny thread. I largely ignored it because I read the topic as a rhetorical question. It is, right? One of those questions that requires no answer because it's perhaps self-evident? Obvious. Plain.
As plausible as it needs to be? Is that a possible answer?
It's like, let's quantify plausibility on a universal basis. We'll call it the Plausibility Constant and apply it to everything we read and write. That would be so cool. Never mind approaching art from a subjective point of view; we can computerize it! Reduce writing to a mechanical formula, a Deterministic model of the universe by which we must all abide! Vanquish opinion. Gullibility is overrated anyway.
(I got an email once about "Blacksheep" that said, "...anyone who would believe this story id a moron!" [sic] and I couldn't have agreed with him more!)
Yeah, we need an entertainment to plausibility ratio by which to deduce our relative worth! Suspension of Belief could be renamed "Suspension of Plausibility" and taught to bark, sit up, and play dead...especially that last one. Escapism would be outlawed and imagination limited to footnotes and appendices. Every motive, every plot point, every aspect of the fictional world would be grounded in facts. Logic would rule the day and we could all buy Spock ears and...oops! We could all buy Johnny von Neumann hats and pretend we're displaced Hungarians. Theory would be recognized as the new old fiction it is. Deniable Implausibility would be the watchword in literary circles, a dark, suspicious phrase with which to label and libel your friends!
Just think how thin our dictionaries could be! Orwell was on to something there. (Animal Farm - Plausible or No?) We'd nurture an anorexic language in which the expression love, hate, joy, lust, anger, and jealousy would be tempered by the masterworks of Freud, Jung, and Dr. Phil...I'm getting wet, time to wind this down.
In summary, I have to wonder...Plausibility, is there another face of Satan more contrary to the mirror of our sweet disease?
best always,
rache
===================
My New Me, My New Blog
2008-12-04
I'm setting up an external blog for no other reason than I'm bored and I want an excuse for not writing fiction.
The other night (Monday, 01 December) I was rather inebriated. Intoxicated, you might say, with my success. I killed a few minutes telling the world about it and I must apologize to some of you. I was letting off some of the stress that had been building over the long summer. I wrote my doctoral thesis and it was published, paving the way for my dissertation and public defense of that same article.
Upon getting published I experienced an ominous calm, a dreadful silence really. Thankfully, having spent much of my adult life posting unwanted (and often unpopular) erotic fiction to sites like SOL, I'm used to getting little or no feedback. It seems, however, that unlike ham-fisted perverts who are simply too lazy to offer commentary, academics simply read slower. Doubtless they jerked off, sitting on their toilets with the latest professional journal quivering in their excited fingers as they pumped and pulled and otherwise rendered critical judgment on my life's work (to date)...And then they called and emailed and offered me opinion, fact, and irrelevant supposition. I was praised and flamed, often in the same breath, and it was quite an experience. Joan of Arc? Maybe not, but the allusion pleases me to no end. We all want to be martyrs for our beliefs.
When they said "...first week of December." I didn't know they meant the first goddamn day in December!
That hurt quite a lot, which was perhaps their intention, I'm not sure. I'm not usually so cynical. I lectured for a little over an hour and then fell back into a defensive posture I like to call "Stalingrad." It was cold and bloody and by the end of it we were all speaking German. Historical metaphors rarely make sense, so I don't even try. Somehow, by the end of a very long day with breaks for lunch, tea, and the occasional vomiting session in the restroom, I was deemed worthy of the honorific title "Doctor" and I shall be vested in mid-January. Myself and a number of others, live and on-stage before a captive audience just returned from the holidays and in hardly any sort of mood to clap politely and offer congratulations around a large bowl of meager punch.
Life continues. I continue. And I never really believed I would reach this point in my life. At one time it was the only thing I wanted. The goal that quite literally kept me alive. When I had no other reason, I had this, and now it really is mine. It begs the question that should have been asked, but never was...What am I supposed to do now?
rache
I'm so Numb, er...gettin Dumb, er...All the time
2009-07-21Wow…I usually try to write my blog notes offline because the internet café here is right next to the bar where I like to hang out. Usually I hang out for awhile, go internet for awhile, then hang out some more. If I try to do my blog entries, or do anything more complicated than answer emails and yes/no questions, I usually end up embarrassing myself.
The proof is in the pudding.
So, I take back whatever I said yesterday and instead, I offer this gem of sobriety…
Rachael’s Really Deep Thoughts on Download Counts
Stat counting is pretty much useless for me. I’m sure some people get a kick out of it and maybe they even have some use for such things, but I’ve just never found much value for totaling my downloads or anything like that. Word count is handy and you have to understand what that is and what it means and how to use it as a writer, because it’s important in a lot of ways, but those are numbers that I have sole control over. I’ll confess that I never contemplated comparing my story size to anyone else’s. It smacks of penis envy…or something.
Weird.
After reading AscendingAuthor’s blog, and I don’t know him at all, one way or any other, I’m a little mind boggled by what he says there. Of course dedicating oneself to 3.2 million words in a single story??? Wow! It’s safe to say that he and I have very different views on storytelling in theory and practice and I’m sure neither of us is more right or less wrong than the other. I wish him the very best of luck with reaching the longest story on SOL goal or whatever the thrust of his efforts is. Good luck with that.
But the whole numbers thing, daily vs weekly downloads and losing some of them…I don’t know about that stuff. About the only numbers I look at are the number of favorites lists that I’m on, just because that’s right at the top and it’s hard to miss, and the number of libraries a given story is in.
Downloads don’t tell me anything. I could have fifty thousand downloads, but I don’t know how many of those are people who actually finished the story or just popped in for a quick skim, a midnight jerk, or just to cheer me with a ten or spank me with a one…I mean, how many people read the whole thing? That’s what I’m concerned with, and SOL and the best bean counting software in the world won’t ever be able to tell me.
As I’ve mentioned before, email and feedback is really the only method I use to determine a story’s “success” if I write a story with nice high scores, but I only get a dozen emails…It’s a failure. I have a couple of those and I think, “God! That story must really suck, cause nobody emailed me.” Likewise, posting a story to terrible scores and limited downloads, but getting thirty emails, which is what happens with TS Severe for example, she’s doing okay. I know transgendered stories aren’t going to get big numbers. Same with Kylie and her stories, but they get so damn much email from the readers who are into it, they’re really vocal and enthusiastic and I love them!
That’s rewarding, it really is. Numbers…blah. Who cares? That’s another toy for readers and I think authors should just ignore that crap. It is tempting to write a 3.3 million word story though, I have to admit! I have a title picked out for it already, "Doorstop" …But I have so many other things to do. I still have to figure out if Kylie is going to hook up with Karen or her father!! That's what I should be doing right now…Yikes! At least I finished Tina (7) just a minute ago, that was a relief! I kept putting it off and putting it off. I really need a cattle prod shoved up my butt sometimes, you know?
Yeah…See? You do know, but probably for a different reason than mine, huh? I need a drink.
Story Removal
2008-10-18
The following stories have been removed from the Stories Online "rache" index:
Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Forty-Seven
Reasons Until After
Stage Daddy
Talis
TS Neighbors
Ts Wife
The above to be reposted under the pen name "T.S. Severe" as time permits.
Loren - To be reposted under the pen name "Kylie X." when I get around to it.
This is just being done as part of my SCP (Spring Cleaning Project) and there's no real cause to panic. I've been meaning to reorganize for awhile now and I'm always forgetting. Well...Today I remembered! Except I don't have the files with me, blah blah blah
In the meantime...
You Lied!
Characters lie all the time and I was talking about this in an email and so I figured I'd mention it here. Some people, some readers, look at a story and assume that because the words are written down they must invariably be 100% accurate.
What I mean is that they think that the narrator would never, ever lie, cheat, steal, exaggerate, falsify, marginalize, blaspheme, or otherwise tell an untruth to the reader.
That's often true in a story that is (a) written in third person/omni; and (b) written by someone else.
In my stories, especially in first person narratives, the narrator is a character. The person telling the story is someone who usually wants to be liked, as any of us do. He or She wants your sympathy (most times) and craves your understanding and good opinion as she relates her adventure. What the narrator reports to you is (usually) taken from a perspective of remembrance. The character is retelling events from memory and so we can safely assume that they are filtered through the lens of time, if nothing else.
Sometimes I play with that deliberately, but most often I do try and keep the narrator honest. Still, there are times when I do make it a point to lie in the interest of developing either character or plot, or both. I use it as a tool to avoid details when I'm not in a mood to provide them. I like the ready excuse first person allows me to be vague and obscure at times, if it benefits the story. It offers varying opportunities to enter a sub-textual dialogue with readers and provide information through what is hidden or revealed.
None of it is ever obvious (I hope) and such devices should pass largely unnoticed if it's working. But, being the author, I am conscious of what I say and how I say it and I just wanted to confess. In those few stories I have where the opportunity to tell a story from two different points of view exists, like one of the chapters in "Daddy's Little Whore" for example, I tried to exemplify two different memories of the same event. Dialogue is different. Some of the events are remembered differently, and it should emulate real life that way. Reading the two versions shouldn't be confusing, but neither should one be considered correct over the other. They're both correct in essence and complimentary.
In other stories, where only a single point of view is revealed, then we have to remember that the narrator is a character and telling the story is part of the story...see? Simple.
els=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Big Broken Blog Bugaboo
2008-10-14Is bugaboo a word? Seems like I heard it before.
Anyway I want to inform readers who are interested that some of my other blogs do not work. T.S. Severe's blog, in particular, does not want to show the link at the end of her stories. Lazeez is aware of this and informed me that it's some sort of bug that he hasn't been able to track down and correct. It's largely a non-issue in any event as anything T.S. might want to say can be read here (I can read her mind) ...But obviously some people might wonder about it and with any amount of luck they'll see this note and go "Ah!"
For those of you who don't know, T.S. Severe is the pen name underwhich I post odd transgender stories. She gets some of my finest work too, in all seriousness, not because I have a greater love for sexually confused people, or because I only write T.S. Severe stories while I watch my complete Bewitched DVD collection and imagine Darren wearing pantyhose...No! (that's transvestism anyway) Mostly it's just because there's a point to writing a story about someone. A reason for it and people forget that.
Let me explain what we all know instinctively: The reason a story is written about a character is because the character is special. The character is unique and very much different from you and me, that's why nobody is writing "rache slash fan fiction" because I'm just me.
"But rache, what about all the stories with ordinary normal everyday people thrust into dangerous obscene and unbelievably fantastic situations?"
Well, see? That's what makes them special! Everything informs the characters, and I'm using the word inform to mean influence, creation, development, see? So the plot and the setting and other characters all contribute to make the main character(s) special. That's a gimme.
Back to my original point, I like characters who struggle. Basically, in all my stories, there are two conflicts ongoing and they're usually interrelated. An external conflict (me vs you) and an internal conflict (me vs me) and I like that a lot. A character with a lot of inner turmoil and angst confronting a hostile world is where I like to live as a writer. Now for most characters, most average ordinary teenage girls (my preferred medium) this isn't too hard to accomplish. But having written a thousand of those stories, I started getting a little tired of the scenary, you know? It was a pleasant trip to the well, but I'd been there before and many times.
So...I decided to give my average, ordinary, teenage girl a cock! That was a whole different country, believe me. It was new and fun and exciting and there were a lot of emotions and issues and relationships that were at once very familiar to me, but different as well.
I write at least 5000 words a day (usually a lot more) rain or shine, whether I'm in the mood or not, that's what I do. I don't think about it much. Like today, I wrote Karen (8) just because I was still wondering if I wanted to continue it or not. I wrote 3000 words in one direction, trashed that cause I didn't like it, and wrote 5000 real quickly in another direction. It took two hours and I proofed it and then I came here. Blah...That's what I've done everyday since I started posting "Mixed Bag" and so you can see why I might want to write about something else once in awhile. It's why Kylie's black, in this instance, because I want that dimension to keep me interested. My interest, appeasing my rampant imagination, is why I write about anything and everything...I would go pretty fuckin' crazy writing the same story 450 times!!!
And in all of the stories, someone, the narrator usually, has to be special. He or She has to be unique, with her own problems, her own opinions, her own dreams and fears. It's kind of amazing to look back on it, kinda embarrassing sometimes, but some stuff makes me proud too. I guess that's the biggest difference between me and the average reader - I look at all my stories as a whole, like it's all one really huge story. Everything's interrelated somehow, whether obviously or just through my own warped reasoning, I can see how a story leads from one to the next to the next, crossing themes and genders. I see the influence and can trace the lineage of stories and characters and ideas...Readers see one or two or a dozen stories, largely at random and make judgment based on that experience. It's not wrong, I'm not complaining or anything, but just reminding myself that I don't see what I'm doing the same way most people do. I forget that sometimes.
Sorry about that.
Killing time
2008-10-11I've killed bout everything else, mighta as well do this too...
I just saw something funny as hell in the "Blog Updates" ...
Mr. Cock posted Comming Soon
That's a story right there!
Let's talk scores just because I can. I mentioned this on the SOL group forum, that I wish there was a way to filter scores down to something more specific than EVERYTHING you know what I mean? Like comparing (and even generating) scores for stories that bear more resemblance to each other than a 26 letter alphabet.
Comparing a short Femdom piece with small readership that posts on a single date and is finished...How does that compare to a story that is a fantasy romance, running for a year or more with an exceptionally large fanbase? There's no reasonable comparison to be made and I have a hard time finding a real purpose behind scores except to give readers a toy they expect and author's something to ignore or cry or gloat over as they desire. I see a lot of crying in the blogs. Gosh...I wish I owned a Kleenix factory.
So scores are supposed to reflect reader opinion and relative quality, I guess and I'm not gonna rant or bitch, I'm just pointing out that some comparisons don't work. I don't have a solution or anything like that. I'm not even exactly sure how to define the problem as I see it.
I just really want to like scores. I want to find some value there and scoring low or high or in between, I can deal with opinion. I've been here awhile, but scores would mean more and be much more useful and relevant if the criteria was more focused, or the qualifications of stories being rated were much more similar. Like short stories seperated from novels, that would help in a lot of ways, I would think. It's two different things, different styles and methods and ways of a telling a story.
Anyway, I'm just meandering my thoughts out here.
Killing time while I wait for my ride.
rache=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Who should NOT read my writing?
2008-10-06
Dear Rache,
If the prologue was written by you as a spoof, it wasn't funny.
More likely it was written by a 13 year old overweight, pimply faced, virgin nerd.
It's CLEAR this person has never ever been with a human woman who was still alive or conscious. Keep your dog locked up.
Next time instead of acceding to this pathetic persons demands to publish, simply drive a stake through his (or her) heart.
Clear enough?
xxx
Dear xxx, Thanks for taking a look at my story and most especially for taking the time to drop me your comments! I appreciate it very, very much. I'm sorry the "Foreward" didn't appeal to you, that's probably my fault as I'm usually able to keep Matt's creative urges under better control. Sometimes though, I just wake up in the morning, see that bright sun coming up, and the birds are singing, and I just have to say "Fuck it." ...Hopefully, if it did nothing else, it put the rest of the chapters in their proper perspective. But, maybe it would be better if you skipped some or all of those, hmmm...
At any rate. Thanks again and my sincere best wishes!
Rachael
Note: the reader's real name is not xxx (commenting on "Matt the Big Ass Fucker)=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Why did you do that? (the squicks note)
2008-10-06"Priss" is going to start today (or yesterday or tomorrow wherever you live) and so I thought I'd drop a note. Not only a comment about that story in particular, but in general because I do get asked…
"rache? Why the hell did you…[in this case]…put a pissing scene in an otherwise perfectly good story like 'Priss'? It squicked me!" So let's talk about…
Squicks!
The first thing you have to know is that I don't really understand how you feel. As much as I'd like to enjoy empathy with my readers, and especially with readers who aren't mine, I simply don't have any squicks. That is to say, nothing I have ever read anywhere has disturbed me with regard to content to the extent that I stop reading. Grammar? Yes. Spelling? Yes. Crappy plots, dialogue, and characters? Oh yes! But not content.
I'm not sure why that is, but believe me when I say it's true. For that reason, I just don't understand how any element in a story can turn people away from it, but I know it happens. With that in mind, I do (all too) often tone down my stories for a general forum like this one. But at the same time, I always feel a little guilty about that. I don't like doing it. I have to balance my desire for a larger audience with my desire to tell the story as I think it should be told. These aren't always compatible, obviously.
The story "Priss" requires a certain element of humiliation and degradation in order to really work. The limits that I'm under make that a little more difficult than you might expect or appreciate. The easy way, the common way, is through public humiliation, but the plot requires a certain level of discretion between Priss and Perry. Adding the water sports element is an easy way to introduce that humiliation aspect without going public. Is it absolutely necessary? No, it's not, but it lends shock and awe and I use it like a hammer.
For that reason, and another that I'll explain in a moment, the pissing scene occurs in chapter one. That way I can start the story and the characters at the bottom and work up, as opposed to starting in the middle and going up and down and all around. This story, being a romance, needs to build. It isn't meant to be the usual sort of cheating/cuckold tale that we're used to. I'm looking for something else here and so I'm playing with the tried and true formula.
The other reason that the pissing happens quickly, in chapter one as I said, is simply to get it out of the way. I want to lose readers before they're invested. Those who are squicked by such things can skip the rest of the story and not feel betrayed or offended that I'm trying to waste their time. That's part of the program with writing Mixed Bag and the format I've chosen for it. I have to pay a little more attention and try not to spring unpleasant surprises if I can help it.
So that's the deal with this story and with some others that I've posted. My goal has never been to squick anyone without some kind of warning. Whether it's in the synopsis or story codes, or however I can make it plain that an element is in a story, I will. In this case I'm putting codes at the beginning of every chapter, as you may have noticed. And those codes are chapter specific where needed and story specific if nothing else. "Tina Vasquez" codes are more story oriented than chapter, because it is a low sexual content story and what there is of it is specific to lesbian romance.
So let's talk about Priss, although not too much since it is in progress. I've written 3 chapters for it as I write this. The genesis of "Priss" is directly descended from writing "Imaginary Man" and I wanted to take another look at cheating and infidelity.
Amber, in "Imaginary Man" was the hero. She was the good character and it was more of a tragedy-romance without much hope of a happy ending. In two of the three endings that I wrote, everybody gets what they want, except Amber. Only in the third version does she actually find true happiness, but it comes at such a high price. Chapter 4 is just brutal, emotionally speaking, and more than she deserved.
In most cheating/cuckold stories the husband is usually the victim and I hate that stereotype of the vilified wife. I really do. And so do readers, apparently. I mean, pick a cuckold story and the scores are generally abysmal. There are a lot of readers who will automatically score the story low, probably without actually reading anything but the codes. Some men just have a hate-on for cheating wives, or something. And they are men, don't try to tell me the feminists are voicing their displeasure. The feminists couldn't care less.
Anyway…tangents, I do go off. Sorry. So I wanted another "victim" female character, but I wanted it more obvious this time around. I wanted a girl who is truly innocent and her heart is in the right place. She's being used and manipulated and she wants to do the right thing, but self-preservation is always a strong motive. I also wanted to demonstrate a different sort of vulnerability. Not only that Priss is guilty of her past and being blackmailed, that's the obvious conflict that provides the plot vehicle. The plot itself, the girl's real vulnerability, is deeper in that Priss is still drawn to what she was and to the sort of man who enjoys her as a whore. I'm taking the old Saint/Whore duality that many men want in their women and applying it to Priss in an obvious way, but hopefully I can make the subtext interesting and fresh.
I won't talk about where the story is going or how it will end, largely because I'm still writing it, but also because I'd hate to spoil it more than I have. But this note should clue interested readers in what I'm doing with it and why. And I'll tell you, these kinds of notes are my real "writing guides" so to speak. If you want to know how I do it, or where my thought processes are in the methodology of story creation, this is it. This is what's going on in my head, for better or worse.
How well it works…We'll find out as the story progresses.
rache
