Rants, Tantrums, and Hissy Fits
Complete with pictures of...Oh, what the hell (All the other girls!)
Even More More Rants
Hmmmm...I don't know what's going on anymore. I thought I had more rants saved than this. Oh well. It's gonna be a loss for some Internet Lit. major fifty years from now when she's trying to put together a Ph.D. on the "Romantic Period" of the Erotic Renaissance. Bad enough we've all forgotten how to write a real letter and now rely on email shorthand, short-stroking the English language to get half-witted, ill-considered, stillborn thoughts onto our blogs so that other idiots can respond before they think about it too much.
Am I being too hard on blogs? U2 is communicating to me personally via Twitter, Bono asking me why the hell I'm not in Bulgaria protesting illegal logging. Paris Hilton invited me to her celebrity fondu party on Facebook. Lindsey Lohan got drunk and knocked up by a transsexual lesbian after selling her ass on Craig's List for used forty! Is the internet evil? Like a fuckin' donut, man.
But who I am I to talk, she says as she posts another old blog...You wanna cum in my Rubbermaid Party?
Bored
2010-05-05I have some time to kill, but nothing much to do really. I'd like to rant about something, but I'm pretty content at the moment, so nothing occurs to me.
I'd post a story, but I left my flash drive in the Rover and I have no idea where Mario went. He's my driver/body guard guy and I told him I needed a new light bulb so he's probably driving 50 kilometers away to find me one. I'd call him to find out exactly where he is and tell him I changed my mind because this internet isn't nearly as much as I thought it would be, but I don't have any load in my celphone.
So, hmmm...have you seen the big pedo thing in Lazeez's blog? Now that's a real issue and I've written pedo stories, but only as jokes. Preteens aren't people, they're more like stuffed animals...especially in porn. I've never read a story with a believable pre-teen character in it yet. I didn't even bother to try in mine. Who needs all that crying?
They could get rid of all the pedo stories tomorrow and I wouldn't shed a tear, but then I'd worry about bestiality and any other fetish that isn't popular and what might happen to those. So censorship is bad in principle and I have to bow to that and wish people who frequent porn sites would grow some tolerance.
I mean, doesn't that seem strange? We're not talking about Born Again Christians, we're talking about some perverted porn freaks who just don't like a certain fetish. Fuck you! I don't like yours either. What do you like? Harem stories? Puke! Mind Control? Vomit! Mind control stories where the sixteen year old boy ends up with a private jet, 50 hot cheerleaders sucking his nuts, and saving the world from aliens while he goes back in time to fuck his own grandmother in the butt?
That's a nightmare and I wish Lazeez would pull all those stories!!
Ah...Just kidding. I wrote one of those and it was okay. But still, anyone who registers on a porn site and then bitches about content is a moron. In fact, he/she is a hypocritical moron. If it was my site, I wouldn't want you for a customer. I wouldn't want your money because I can always sell blowjobs for foodstamps before I have to sell my soul and cater to freaks like you! You're the porn.
Like War, Religion, Politics, Coca-Cola, and the Industrial-Entertainment Complex...You're the enemy which can't be fought. Can't be defeated. Can't be negotiated with nor bribed, blackmailed, or beguiled away from your mindless mission. That's right, you're Paris Hilton and proof that Darwin isn't quite as smart as he thought he was. It isn't all in the genes, after all...I blame your parents and the television set that raised you.
Coming to a porn site and crying foul? I dunno, maybe the stories found here will someday be found in the Cotton Falls Public Library, right between "Charlotte's Web" and "The Satanic Verses" but until then...We're browsing the seedy underbelly of mainstream America (and elsewhere) and the only thing we're really missing isn't censorship, it's a big, black Pimp Daddy to beat down the fools who never should have left the green pastures of Middle Earth Suburbia.
Okay, my ride's here and I guess that's a rant, kinda. Hopefully I offended the people who deserve it in addition to everyone else. This post will self destruct in almost exactly 16 hours.
rache==================
Sin Bravely
2009-07-09Ummm...Oh!
*the word "critics" may be a slight exaggeration as the only person polled prior to posting was myself, but they say the harshest critic is always oneself, so...I figured it was okay since that is pretty much my honest opinion. Please also note that I'm assuming the only people fucking in your family are those old enough to view adult materials. If that isnt the case, well...You have bigger problems than me!
Okay, let's see blog note, eh?
First of all, coming up with a synopsis for this story was a real pain, mostly because it isn't told in a traditional style. I began with first person narrative from Cindy's perspective and used flashbacks to tell the story. Those flashbacks became longer and longer until they actually became the story and the first person narrative fades away. How well that actually works, I'm not too sure. I'm actually typing this before writing the last chapter or two though, so I'm hopeful that it'll prove entertaining enough, and the story is interesting enough, that readers wull overlook my odd desires to do things the "hard way" so to speak.
Second of all, this story is taken kind of from the heart of a much larger piece and some readers will recognize that and wonder if it's deja vu or just a re-run...a little of both for you guys, but once again, I'm hoping the as-yet-to-be-written ending will make up for that...The end won't fit in the other, original story, by the way...Weird how that works. Of course for most readers nothing in this paragraph makes any sense whatsoever, does it?
I do that a lot...Stop making sense, I mean. Burning down the house too, but my girlfriend is better than yours, especially when she takes me to the river...but that's a wild, wild life during wartime...are you keeping up? Most people don't know I'm really David Byrne, but it does explain quite a bit. Don't you think?
Ummm...Thirdly, just because there should be another point I want to make, uh...Oh! There is a brief male/male scene and I thought about coding it, but the fact is that I counted all the words and there's 71645 of them and the scene in question is 324 words long and if I divide those numbers...hold on a second...That's 00.45% of the total, which means 99.55% of the story has no male-male sex in it at all and if someone gets to those three paragraphs and isn't already invested enough in the story to accept the fact that sometimes drunken men do things to please their girlfriends that they wouldn't normally do 99.55% of the rest of the time...well, you probably shouldn't be reading porn anyway, much less a story with a real plot.
That's just my opinion. Things happen and rather than code such a minor scene and suggest that the entire story is about male-male sex (which it plainly isn't) I decided to forego the code. See, that's the problem with codes. They can't be weighted, there's no justification, no rationale allowed. And some people insists that it must be coded, every little thing, and this is a perfect opportunity for me to demonstrate why that isn't necessarily true...God! I feel a rant coming on. Shhhh...Anyway, I did foreshadow that scene in a previous chapter and so it shouldn't be too great a shock even for the most homophobic closet Rock Hudson out there. You guys crack me up..."Yeah, but lesbians are hot!" heh! Okay, shut the fuck up, rache...blah blah blah
People are lucky I code my stories at all.
What else? Anything? There may or may not be a Prologue to explain exactly who Cindy is and where she came from, I haven't decided yet and in any case, it's largely unimportant to the story anyway. I kind of like the mystery as it sits, but it depends on how my last couple chapters work out too.
The best defence is a good "So?"
Anyways, uhhh...Lastly...I'm throwing this up as "Premier Membership Exclusive" just because I'm sorta into that for some reason. Don't ask me why, I think I just like that shade of yellow. Itlooks really cool. So, SOL is the only place anyone will ever find this particular version of that particular story. Okay?
Love,
rache
===================
I feel a little arrogant...
2009-07-13
Anonymous to me
show details 4:58 am (14 hours ago)
Reply Re: Sin Bravely
Posted : 2009-07-09 - 11:04 pm
"People are lucky I code my stories at all."
It's give and take between readers and authors.
You don't code, we don't read.
Put away the arrogance.------------------------------
My Reply to that reply - Heh! Actually, I feel a lot arrogant and if I put my arrogance away, I wouldn't have the balls to post anything. It is give and take and I seem to be doing a lot of giving, aside from taking some wonderful emails...and some not so wonderful emails. I do appreciate those, seriously, but that's the only thing. I mean, I turn scoring off...No joy there for me. It's a reader toy. I get reviewed once in awhile, but I know all the reviewers anyway, so it's nice, but rare and not amazingly special.
Yep. Emails and caffein shakes really are the only things that I get in return, and since I don't get emails before posting a story, I guess I need a little arrogance in my fuel tank to push me up the steep and rocky road to a cold, grey summit where I think I might actually have something worth putting in public. Yeah, Ego is what drives us to do that. Not just me, but any author. You can write all day long, but throwing your efforts to the winds of public opinion takes ego and the font of arrogance.
Lots of people like to apologize for being arrogant or egotistical. That's a lie though and I don't lie. There's no reason to, see? If I lied and said "You're not lucky I bother to code my stories!" I'd be lying to me and I'm my own best friend, so what would that mean? It all seems pretty crazy when I put it that way, doesn't it? If you want to read lies, go read someone else's blog. I'm sure someone somewhere is lying. I just say what I think and if it pisses people off? At least they know the truth.
You are lucky I code my stories. You're lucky I post at all. You're lucky I'm so arrogant that I'm willing to entertain you for a few emails and the self-satisfaction of knowing "I made all that up!" I'm pretty lucky too. Funny how it works out like that. I'd hate it if I died with a trunkful of weird porn in the attic like Emily...See what a lack of arrogance did for her? Stupid bimbo.
I feel kinda like God now...I think I'll go stomp on some ants!
best always,
rache
Sin Bravely
2009-07-21is what my tattoo says. I got it because I've always had a small crush on Martin Luther. I wanted to mark myself.
Anyway, I've just queued up the last chapter of "Sin Bravely" the story and it ends up on SOL (here) as 47 chapters and an epilogue.
I would have very much liked to have written more, and in fact I did...a portion of which became that same epilogue...but I simply can't afford to commit myself to anything more than I already have. Sin Bravely can end where it does and it's fine like that. I'm very satisfied with it and I appreciate the comments I've received. The encouragement. Thanks.
Linda Jean emailed me and said I did a "...good job rewriting one of her stories (to a point)..." quoting from memory there. She was talking about "Stockholm" and you can imagine my surprise because I was so damned sure that I was the one who wrote "About Penguins" ...Weird how that works.
Anyway, just for the record, if I am going to plagiarize it will be from someone who is clever, talented, imaginative, creative, and intelligent. That's my official policy and has been ever since I copied some math answers off a girl named Angie Dawson who possessed none of those qualities.
Now, I'm not saying Linda Jean possesses none of those qualities either, but Stockholm? That's not exactly a story from the deep end of the pool and if it's a rewrite of one of hers then...Well, I'm pretty glad I'm me.
Now Orestes, on the other hand...Heh! I could steal all day from that guy! He's smart, clever, witty, sexy, dirty, and makes me wonder why I'm not any of that. That's how it starts...I feel covetous! But only of him...Linda Jean? I'm not sure I've read anything of hers. Probably I'm missing out, huh? Sure.
Anyway, I've never been much for thinly veiled threats, allegations, or ugly brides and I figured I'd exercise a little self help and get this out of my system.
Thanks for being a big pillow
rache
Writing is fun
2009-09-14
It's just completely amazing! Writing, I mean. I have less time now and I'm getting more words out than ever. I can't type fast enough and everything just writes itself. What a glorious feeling!
I think it's because of the "Babymaker" and "Dominant Black Transsexual Cheerleader" stories. I mean, those are completely spontaneous. Writing without a net, you know? There's no plan and the plot extends no farther than the next three paragraphs. It seems very much like life and maybe that's why I love it so much. So many things can go wrong, but the possibilities...
Life. You can make plans and plots, manipulate characters and events, but at the same time it just...happens! I don't even try to do that much. I like waking up not knowing what I'll be doing that day. All too often I do know precisely where I'll be and what I'll be doing, but I don't want to.
Writing lets me do that. I can let things happen and react to them. I can look backwards in time and find secrets and hidden meanings I didn't know existed. I can find reasons where none were intended, using that history to influence the present. Writing is magic and I am so relieved not to have any idea what I'm doing!
A lot of writers talk about how important plans are. Outlines and structure and knowing what goals they're writing to, and sometimes I agree with that, but not today. There is no greater joy than writing free of responsibility, careless and irreverent of obligation. I just really wanted to say that because I'm so rarely so satisfied by anything. I like to bathe in the pleasure while it lasts.
Thanks.=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
About Clitorides
2009-10-12This topic came up recently in the SOL Discussion group and I understand Lazeez has taken over the awards and I certainly wish him nothing but the very best in all of his many endeavors.
My opinion of the clitorides is that they're largely a popularity contest. A beauty contest of sorts and that's okay for readers to play with. What bothered me the most about them was the occasional begging by authors in blogs right here on this very site for readers to vote for the author's stories. It's like begging for 10's in the scoring box. I just hate that. It bugs me and really turned me off to the whole idea.
I've gotten some Clitoride awards and plainly some readers had to take the time and make the effort to vote for me. I appreciate that, but I'll tell you the truth...I wish you wouldn't. I'm not interested in participating in the process and on those occasions when someone has emailed me to suggest or inform me of the nomination of one of my stories, I've invariably suggested they find something better to do.
I would rather get an email than a 10 in appeal. I'd rather get an email than an award. I'd rather get your honest opinion of how I could improve a story than a pat on the back or a standing ovation or a cute little gif for my website. Feedback is the only yardstick of my success and I pay precious little attention to anything else. While some might argue that getting an award or getting a high score is feedback, I tend to disagree. They're toys for readers and offer me little but the temptation to cry over them. I'm rather tired of crying.
If you really want to show your appreciation to an author, whether it's me or anyone else, I recommend a well-considered, well-reasoned email and one with a valid address to which we can reply. But anonymous is okay too, I won't complain too much. :)
Best always,
rache
I'm not nearly as famous as I think I am
2009-09-17Just to remind me of that, here's an email...
Turning Japanese
Wednesday, September 16, 2009 12:58 AM
From: "XXXX XXXXX" <[email protected]>Add sender to Contacts
To: [email protected]
Rachael,
This is one of the most intense stories I have read. I normally do not care for monologues, but you carried it off so well that I found it totally awesome. I have to be honest though, the later third which was BDSM was not my type, but even it you did a masterful job.
Do you have more stories posted at Kristen's? Their system of looking up authors is terrible and I would love to read more from you. Have you ever considered posting your stories at storiesonline.net (SOL)? That is an awesome site both for authors and readers. It is very user friendly and a free site like Kristen's. However at SOL the reader can easily look up authors and can look up stories by category. If you have any questions about the site please let me know. I have posted 75 of Vulgus' stories for him. He is an awesome author but he does not care for the hassle of posting.
Thank you so much for writing and sharing this awesome story
hehe...On the other hand, I now have something to read because I don't really remember what "Turning Japanese" was about!=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Anything I can do to help!
2010-05-17An absurd email from a selfish reader...but aren't we all? :)
Anonymous wrote (about Mrs. Trotter):
Even for a stroke tale set in the NIS universe,
this seems highly absurd. Or was that the whole
point? Your back story is minimal - at best - and
the only character development you've shown is
the hyper-prudish nature of the protagonist.
So, I guess my only question at this point would
be; is this story going to be a one trick
pony?
You know, just one circumstance after another to
push the humiliation levels higher. If that's
the case, I think I'll cut my losses here and
quit reading at chapter 2.
I do have to thank you though for penning this. It
makes me appreciate a well crafted tale even more.
Yeah, that's pretty much the whole point of the story. I'm glad you read my blog and figured it out. I was feeling guilty. :) Well crafted stories should be appreciated, no doubt about that, and I can only hope you're as liberal with your positive feedback. Some people aren't for some reason.
On the other hand, the 40+ emails I've gotten from readers who seem to be enjoying themselves demonstrates fully that we're not only writing for one person or one reader arch-type, but for the community as a whole. While authors should endeavor to write to the best of their abilities every time out, it's equally important to understand exactly what it is you're reading and not be too critical if it isn't your cup of tea.
This is a porn story, that's all. Nothing to get excited about. I kinda like absurd in my porn once in awhile :)) After you've written and posted a thousand stories, maybe you'll start to appreciate it too. I'm just here for the fun.
best always!
rache=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
