"Late night, huh?" My husband neither smiled nor frowned, but just looked at me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Macaroni for breakfast?" I looked at the plate in front of my nine year old son, Jack Junior.

"It's noon," Jack said.

"It's lunchtime, Mom." JJ smiled at me. "Dad put hot dogs in it."

"Good." I nodded and kissed the top of his head. "Daddy's a good cook, isn't he?"

"Uh-huh," he agreed around his full mouth.

"Where's Amy?" I asked, reaching for Jilly, my three year old. My angel. I picked her up just so I could give her a kiss and a snuggle and she giggled.

"The mall, last I heard." Jack shrugged and I made a little face at that, but our oldest daughter was fifteen now and always gone someplace, despite my best efforts to rein her in.

"Eat your macaroni, baby," I said, putting Jilly back into her high chair. She'd outgrow it soon.

"What time did you get in last night?" my husband wondered, leaning against the counter now, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ummm…Late?" I smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, okay? We stayed out late, but I needed it. How often do I get out?"

"I don't know, Gina." Jack wasn't smiling. "How often?"

"Not at all," I said, keeping my tone light.

I really wanted a pill and a cup of coffee to wash it down with, or maybe something stronger. My first thought at waking up had been to get some coke up my nose. My head ached and my asshole still hurt, the memories of what I'd done the night before wouldn't go away. They were a bit jumbled, somewhat confused in places, but I remembered sucking Gary's cock in the dance club. I remembered Bob fucking me to orgasm and cumming inside me. Fucking my ass. Now I had to face my husband and pretend it had never happened.

"Come on, you can't complain about me that much? Can you?" I tried to give him a hug, standing close and putting my arms around him. 

"I'm just trying to understand," he sighed, hugging himself instead of me. Stiff and unbending.

"I know. Me too." I looked up, into his eyes. "It's just, I feel overwhelmed sometimes, you know? I go a hundred miles an hour all week. And you're working and the kids need so much attention…"

"Yeah," he agreed, starting to relax. At least Jack let his arms go, dropping them to his sides so I could get a little closer. I pressed my body against his.

"…I'm not being bad," I lied, not even flinching as I let him see my face. "Okay? I swear. I'm just trying to deal with everything."

"I know. Okay." Jack nodded slowly and I thought he believed me, or at least wanted to. I'd never lied to him before though, so that probably helped. He wanted to trust me.

"Maybe it's one of those mid-life crisis things," I half-joked, smiling as I rubbed my breasts against him through my flannel nightgown.

"Maybe you should just buy a sports car then," he suggested, smiling back at me and finally putting his hands on my hips.

"Heh!" I giggled and shook my head. "Where would I put JJ's soccer team? Besides, that's a man thing."

"Oh, well…What do women do?" Jack wondered. I struggled to keep from wincing as his fingers found my butt, squeezing me and tugging at my cheeks playfully. My bruised and torn anus throbbed painfully.

"I don't know," I whispered, pressing my face against his shoulder. "We go a little crazy, I guess."

"I guess so," he sighed. "Maybe I can take some time off. I've got some vacation saved up. We can take the kids out of school for a week and…"

"No." I scrunched up my nose. "We need that two weeks next Christmas, remember?" I grinned. "Someone promised you-know-what to you-know-who."

"Are we going to Disneyworld for Christmas, Mom?" JJ asked and I gave my husband a grin. "Dad promised!"

"My, what big ears you have!" I looked over my shoulder at my son. 

"Yeah, buddy." Jack smiled. "We're going."

"Mickey Mouse!" Jilly smiled happily and even three year olds know what Disneyworld means. She was a smart kid anyway.

"What have you got going on today?" I asked, relaxing as my husband moved his hands off my ass and back to my hips. The kids were watching.

"It's Saturday, Mom!" JJ reminded me. "I got a soccer game today, remember?"

"Oh…" I nodded seriously and smiled at Jack. "How could I forget?"

"I'm going to take him and his friends for ice cream after," he said. 

"Is it our turn to drive again?" I narrowed my eyes a little, trying to remember the carpool schedule for the soccer team, and I guessed it was.

"Yep." Jack nodded. "What are you doing today?"

"Me?" I laughed. "I'm going to air out Amy's room."

"Oh, she'll love you for that." He gave me a sympathetic smile.

"She'll want to see my search warrant," I replied, but I wasn't totally joking. The girl was sensitive about her privacy, too sensitive in my opinion. I wanted to check up on her. She was my daughter and I loved her, no matter what Amy might have thought.

"Well, better you than me." Jack kissed my forehead.

"And you wonder why I needed a late night?" I smiled at him. "I might need another one after this."

"Hmph." My husband shook his head at me. "Only if you bring me along."

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah," he said seriously, hiding it beneath a grin. "New rule, okay?"

"I love you." I kissed him on the lips, but inside I wanted ask him what the hell that meant. He was making rules for me now? "But you know what?"

"What?"

"I really want some coffee," I told him and then spied my purse on the table where I'd left it that morning. "After I use the bathroom."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Other than my ass being very sore and tender, I actually felt pretty good. I had enough pills to see me through until Monday and a whole gram of coke. That would be enough for the weekend anyway. I'd put my husband's fears to rest, or so I hoped, and life was okay again. Back to normal, as they say.

I put Jilly down for her nap shortly after Jack left with our son for the big soccer game, and took a deep breath as I entered the Amy Zone.

"Great," I sighed, looking around my teenage daughter's bedroom.

Her bed was unmade, of course, the sheets dirty as well. Amy probably hadn't changed them in a week, since last Saturday when I'd nagged her all morning to clean up. Most of her clothes lay strewn about, clean or dirty didn't matter, tossed like a tornado had spent the night. Magazines, homework, assorted…stuff. She would hate me for cleaning up, but someone had to do it.

"Oh, these are cute." I found a neon yellow thong in her underwear drawer, hiding in the back under all the regular panties she owned and probably never wore.

I set the thong aside, starting a little contraband pile. Fifteen-year-old girls don't need thong panties, in my opinion and Amy was barely that. Twenty minutes later I found something even more interesting, a plastic wheel dispenser with small heart shaped pills. Thirty of them numbered for convenience and eight were missing. So, my innocent little girl was all grown up and using birth control.

Maybe I should have found some relief that Amy at least had the sense to be cautious, but that only fueled my anger as I thought about Gary and especially Bob, my so-called 'date' the night before. Amy had more sense than I did, if I chose to think of it that way, and I didn't want to. I put the pills on top of the thong and kept cleaning.

At least I didn't find anything else I could get too upset about. No drugs, no booze hidden away someplace. I finished with her room and closed the door behind me, a large bundle of dirty clothes and bedding over my shoulder, stuffed in a pillow case like I was Santa Claus. I kept her thong and pills, putting them in my nightstand next to my bed. I'd hold them until Amy said something, or a few days anyway, whichever came first, and then we could have it out. I didn't know if or when I'd tell Jack. I guess it depended on how reasonable Amy was willing to be.

Her father wouldn't be too happy finding out Amy wasn't a virgin, I thought. That could be a good thing though, since I was getting real tired of being the evil witch. Amy looked at Jack like he was some kind of super hero and it tended to make me a little jealous at times, although lately he'd been spending most of his free time with JJ and that just pushed Amy even further away from us. I'd have to talk to Jack, I thought, and...

"Hello?" 

The phone had rung just as I came upstairs from the laundry room, which was part of our perpetually unfinished basement. Someday, Jack willing, we'd have a nice little recreation room down there. Probably after our kids were gone to college and married and old and…

"Gina! Hi!" Stacy's voice filled my ear.

"Hey, what's up?" I smiled, because it was a good time to take a break and I needed to talk to her anyway.

"What's up with you, girl?" She laughed. "Having a little fun without me?"

"What's that?" I narrowed my eyes at the phone.

"I had a message on my machine last night," she explained. "Jack was looking for you or something."

"My Jack? Called you…Why?" I frowned.

"He wanted to know where we were going." Stacy laughed again. "If I'm gonna be your alibi, you need to give me a heads up. You're lucky I wasn't home."

"Oh." I swallowed hard. "Yeah, uh...I just had to get out and I told him…"

"You were going out with me?" She was grinning, I could hear it in her voice. "Ladies night out? He believed that?"

"Yeah, maybe," I said defensively. "I didn't do anything."

"Sure, Gina, uh-huh…Well look, what time did you get home? Just so we have our story straight."

"Ummm…Three maybe?" I lied, knowing it had been after four, and I didn't know why I was doing that.

"Three, okay. Did you tell him where you went?"

"No."

"Cool, we'll say it was a lingerie party if he asks. Stop by Victoria's Secret and pick something out for him, tell him you bought it at the party," Stacy suggested. "Something sexy, right? He'll believe you then."

"Yeah, um, okay." I giggled nervously.

"So other than skipping out on your husband...How ya doing?"

"I wasn't skipping out!"

"Yeah, yeah." She laughed again. "So come on, who's the guy?"

"What guy?" I protested. "I just went out, okay? You're worse than Jack."

"That's because I know you," Stacy retorted and she sounded too happy. I'd never cheated in my life until I'd met Gary and she couldn't know about that...Could she?

"Well, it wasn't anything, okay?" I sighed, suddenly worried that maybe Gary had something to my best friend.

"Yeah, okay. Whatever. What are you doing next weekend?"

"Me? I don't know, cleaning," I said. "Why?"

"I was thinking we should get together, like the whole family thing. Have a barbecue before the weather gets bad."

"You don't have a family," I reminded her. Stacy was single, but she always had a new boyfriend.

"I know! That's why I want to borrow yours!"

"Yeah, okay," I agreed. "That would be fun."

"Your place?" Stacy wondered and she lived in a condo with about ten square feet of back yard.

"Sure, yeah." I nodded into the phone. "Next Sunday? How's that?"

"Great. Sunday afternoon, I'll bring the wine."

"Okay, cool." I smiled. "See ya later."

"Be careful!" Stacy laughed and hung up.

Three minutes after I put the phone down it started ringing again.

"Grand Central Station?" I grinned into the phone, thinking it had to be Stacy again.

"Mom?"

"Amy?"

"Hi, um…I'm sorta in trouble."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I literally shook with anger and drove much too fast. Jilly was crying in her car seat because I'd had to wake her up halfway through her nap. 

"Shut-up! Just shut-up!" I turned around and screamed at the toddler.

I had to slam on the brakes before I rear-ended the car in front of me.

"Oh God. I'm sorry…Honey. Jilly. I'm sorry." I closed my eyes, wishing all those feelings would just go away. "I didn't mean to yell at you."

Someone was honking behind me and I glared into my rearview mirror.

I felt myself ready to lose it. I had lost it. I'd gone crazy on the phone and now with Jilly. I had to relax. I had to calm down. I parked the mini-van and looked around. The place seemed mostly empty, the small parking lot held only a few empty cars, and the windows of the van were tinted anyway.

My coke was in my purse still and I opened it in my lap, untwisting the yellow wire tie on the baggie with both hands inside my purse while Jilly kept crying. 

"Shhh…Shhh…It's gonna be better…All better, baby," I kept saying, but mostly for my benefit as I rolled up a five dollar bill and took a quick hit of that fine white powder, feeling it hit my nasal passage hard and bitter and burning just a little. 

I tied the baggy closed quickly, zipping it into one of the pockets. I wiped my nose carefully, checking myself in the mirror and sniffling hard. The drug rushed through me quickly, that good cocaine Gary had given me. It set my heart to overdrive and pushed all the anger away, locking it up behind a brick wall of feel good. I was buzzing and smiling and Jilly was quiet finally as I got her out of the van.

I actually giggled as I entered the police station higher than a kite on that one decent snort of coke. There were cops all over and I blinked as a wave of paranoia hit me. I swallowed hard and stopped, almost turning around, but one stood right there, looking at me. I was suddenly terrified that he knew I was on drugs. That I had some in my purse. He was going to arrest me and I couldn't breath. I tightened my grip on Jilly and she made a soft, hurting sound and I had to concentrate hard on not holding her too tightly.

"Hi. Can I help you?" another policeman asked, this one big and black and staring at me from behind the front desk where he sat patiently. The whole place seemed utterly calm and quiet, while I felt a riot of panic rising from my gut.

"Hi, uh…" I cleared my throat and tasted bitter cocaine numbing the back of my mouth. "I'm looking for Amy Reed? I'm her mother."

"Amy…Reed…" The man nodded and used his computer while every other cop in the place stared at me, or so it seemed at the time.

"We've got her, yeah." He nodded almost sadly. "I just need to see some identification."

"What? Uh…Why?" I asked, certain he was going to arrest me on the spot. My legs felt rubbery and I felt a bead of cold sweat crawling down my back.

"I have to make sure you're her mom and then I'll have her brought up," he explained. "The store isn't pressing charges, but I do need your signature on the police report."

"Oh, uh…Yeah." I blinked rapidly and struggled to open my purse, finding my wallet with clumsy fingers. "Here."

I gave him my driver's license.

"Are you okay, Mrs. Reed?" the policeman asked me, pursing his thick, black lips.

"No." I shook my head. "My daughter's in jail. I'm not okay."

"Right." He frowned and looked at my license. "I understand. You can have this back."

I nodded and put my license away, closing my purse quickly and wondering if it was too quickly. What if he thought I was hiding something in there? What if the cop asked me to empty my purse? What if…Oh God. I took a deep breath and walked around impatiently, bouncing Jilly in my arms to disguise my uncontrollable shaking. I couldn't relax and the adrenaline was mixing it up with the coke and I just wanted to run.

They made me wait about ten minutes, which was torture, before another policeman showed up with Amy. At least she wasn't handcuffed and she didn't look any worse for her ordeal, at least no worse than you'd expect a teenage girl to look after being arrested for shoplifting. She looked bored and that pissed me off and I had to close my eyes for a second.

"Mrs. Reed? I just need you to sign this for me and Amy can go." The new cop, a thin white one, held a clipboard and a pen. "There's no charges, but this report will be in her juvenile file."

"What?" I stared at the man. "Amy has a file?" 

"She does now," he shrugged.

I signed quickly and the man left without another word. Amy wasn't saying anything, she just followed me as we left the police station. I wasn't talking either, not until we got home.

"No…Get in here!" I said as Amy started going up to her room.

"Oh! Don't start, Mom!" Amy frowned at me. "I'm a big girl. I screwed up, okay? I get it."

"Screwed up?" I stared at her for a second and then finished putting Jilly in her highchair so she could have a little snack, a little chocolate pudding.

"I won't do it, again." Amy crossed her arms over her budding breasts and stared back at me. Such a little girl.

"I had to wake your sister up. I had to drive halfway across the city and stand there in that police station waiting for them to bring you down," I told her. "Do you know how embarrassing that is?"

"Yeah, I do." Amy rolled her blue eyes. "I was there, remember?"

"Don't get smart with me!" I ripped the top off the pudding and grabbed a spoon, slamming the silverware drawer hard.

"God! Chill out!" Amy said and the little bitch actually smiled. I took three quick steps.

SLAP!!

I hit her with my palm across the girl's left cheek hard and Jilly started crying. Amy's eyes got huge and she opened her mouth, bringing a hand to her suddenly pink skin. We stared at each other for a second and then she turned, running through the house and up the stairs. I heard her bedroom door slam shut a moment later.

"Fuck!" I closed my eyes. "Shut up!" I screamed at Jilly and then tears flooded my eyes and I hated everybody just then.

I took a pill and that helped a lot. Jilly only cried for awhile and by the time she'd finished her pudding I felt calm again. I could deal with anything. I gave my baby a bath, trying to explain that I still loved Amy, because three-year-olds wonder about that stuff. We never hit our kids. Not even a spanking. Not a real one, just little swats on the butt to nudge them along, but never a spanking. Never a slap. Not until today. That's what had been really shocking for Amy. Not the pain, but the fact that I'd hit her at all.

"It was good for her," I told Jilly, washing the girl's hair gently. "Sometimes bad girls need a slap to wake them up."

Of course not everyone sees it that way.

"You slapped her?" Jack confronted me in the kitchen while I prepared our dinner.

"Jack, this isn't about me slapping her," I said. "Your daughter was shoplifting."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But she said you slapped her, Gina. Where did that come from?"

"It came from her smart mouth," I told him. "I wasn't in the mood for it."

"But you were in the mood to hit her?" My husband seemed to be more upset about that than about our daughter being arrested.

"It was a slap, that's all. I didn't abuse her." I grabbed a handful of stiff spaghetti noodles in my fist, putting them in the water boiling on the stove.

"We don't hit our kids, Gina." Jack shook his head. 

"Well, maybe we should," I told him with a shrug. "Hugs and kisses don't seem to be working all that well, or haven't you noticed?"

"What?" He stared at me in disbelief.

"Do you know she's on the pill, Jack?" I looked at my husband. "Taking birth control pills? I found out today. They were in her room."

"She's…" He narrowed his eyes at that, trying to understand the full import of what I was saying.

"She's not a virgin anymore," I sighed. 

"But…She's just fifteen." My husband shook his head. "Maybe…They could belong to someone else, or…One of her friends and…"

"That's a lot of denial before dinner, dear," I snorted sarcastically. "Save some for later, okay?"

"Did you talk to her?" he asked and that was a dumb question.

"I slapped her, remember?" I shook my head. "I had a bad day, alright? I wasn't eating fucking ice cream with the soccer team."

"Gina…"

"I was finding pills and thongs and signing reports that go into your daughter's police record, Jack." I turned around, staring hard at the man. "And you want to tell me not to slap her face when she gives me shit about it?"

"No…Wait, I didn't…" He had no idea what to say.

"Cook your own dinner," I said, tossing the wooden spoon I was holding onto the counter. "I'm going out."

"Gina…Wait, hold on…" He grabbed my arm, but I jerked myself free.

I left, taking my purse and grabbing a jacket from the closet on my way out the door. I didn't know what I was doing, or where I was going. I had to leave. I couldn't take all that crap anymore. Not from Amy and then from her father too. He should have been upstairs whipping her ass with a belt, I thought. Not getting mad at me because I'd slapped the girl's smart mouth. He could hug her all she wanted, fine. I was done with it.

Read Chapter Five