My Uncle Bob likes to play tricks on people, on me especially because I'm so weak willed, according to him. I don't know about that though. I always thought he meant it like a tease, but maybe he didn't.
Anyway, Uncle Bob is a magician and a pretty good one. He can do all the card tricks and he knows how to pull a rabbit out of his hat and all that stuff. That isn't what he's really good at though and if you ask him, Uncle Bob will just snort and tell you magic is all bullshit. He'll really say that too, even if he might be talking to a thirteen-year-old girl, and I always giggle because most adults never swear like Uncle Bob does. At least not around me, you know?
It sounds dumb, but he almost makes me feel kind of grown up.
"Fuck!" he snorted. "Anyone can make the Eiffel Tower look like it's gone."
"They can?" I smiled doubtfully, curled up on the sofa next to him and munching popcorn. Uncle Bob was babysitting me, except nobody called it that, of course. He just happened to come by on those occasional nights when my parents wanted a life.
"Hell yeah," he nodded. "Even you could do it, Wendy. All you need are a couple big ass mirrors and some long fuckin' legs."
"Long legs?" I giggled. "Why?"
"So nobody's lookin' when you drop the mirrors!" he chuckled, stroking my left thigh where my nightgown had ridden up. "No. A better trick, the real magic, is really making the damn thing disappear."
"Nobody can do that," I said, reaching for another handful of popcorn.
"I can," Uncle Bob told me. "I can do it right now."
"You're going to make the Eiffel Tower disappear?" I laughed. "Yeah right! We're not even in France."
"Like that has anything to do with it?" He shook his head. "I'm going to make it disappear…Look at me…"
"I am!"
"Right here…" He pointed at his forehead. "The Eiffel Tower is going to disappear in three…two…one…it's gone."
"What's gone?" I narrowed my eyes, still looking at his forehead.
"The Eiffel Tower," he shrugged.
"The what tower?" I asked. "You're so weird sometimes, Uncle Bob."
"I know," he sighed, stroking my ankle with his fingertips. "What are you watching anyway?"
"I don't remember." I frowned and decided to change the channel. "What do you wanna watch?"
"You, Wendy."
"Me?" I giggled. "I mean, on the television."
"Me too," he said. "Hit channel forty-seven."
"Forty-seven?" I gave him a sly grin. "That's the adult channel. I can't watch it."
"Why the hell not?"
"Uhhh…" I widened my jade green eyes, "…cause I'm thirteen and Mom would kill me?"
"I won't tell her," Uncle Bob promised, pinching my toes one at a time so I'd wiggle them.
"I don't want to watch that stuff anyway," I told him truthfully, surfing the channels and kinda kicking at his hand.
"Why? Have you watched it before?" he asked with a grin and I shrugged.
"I am thirteen, Uncle Bob."
"Then what's the fuckin' problem?" he laughed. "Hurry up. Forty-seven. I wanna watch you."
"God! I don't even know what you're talking about," I giggled, mashing the buttons with my thumb. "Forty…seven…there…see?"
The television screen turned black with a blue box that said, "Input Access Code Now" in small yellow words.
"Wanna see it in Spanish?" I asked him.
"What's the code?"
"I dunno," I giggled. "You're the magician."
"I'm a mesmerist," he corrected me. "Let me see your eyes…You know the code."
"No, I don't…"
"Shhh…Yes, you do," he whispered, staring into my eyes. "See? You're on television."
"Oh!" I must have pushed the buttons without realizing it.
I looked at the TV and there I was, on my hands and knees with my mouth pressed against another girl's hairy sex while a large black man pushed his cock inside my pussy from behind. The girl, the woman really, was beautiful, but I'd never seen her before. She had black hair and big, fake boobs as she leaned against the headboard of her bed. Her long, tanned legs were spread and she played with my blonde hair while I licked her pussy eagerly.
The man was a stranger too. I had no idea where he'd come from, but he held my small round butt in his huge black hands and fucked me hard. I mean, he was really slamming his cock into me! I'd never seen a dick that big in my life, but that's not saying much. I was a total virgin. I didn't even have a boyfriend, except this black guy was riding my slender body like I'd been fucking huge cocks all my life.
It kinda shocked me.
"You're gorgeous, Wendy," Uncle Bob chuckled, reaching for some popcorn. "I didn't know you swung both ways though. Who's your girlfriend?"
"What? But…I don't…That's not me!"
"That is you!" he said. "Look at those itty bitty titties hanging down. Those skinny legs of yours…Oh yeah! That's you all over, Wendy."
"It can't be!" I protested, but just then the girl, me, lifted her face and looked at the camera, smiling and licking her wet lips.
"Jade green eyes," Uncle Bob sighed. "Fuck. You're a little hottie."
"I don't like this trick," I decided, biting my bottom lip and tearing my eyes from the television. "Make it stop. Now!"
"What? Why?" he pouted. "I like looking at you. Feel this…" He took my hand and put it on his lap. "That's what you do to me, Wendy."
"Stop it!" I shook my head after getting more of a feel than I wanted. His cock was hard and trapped in his trousers and I felt it flex beneath my fingers as I gave him a sorta accidental squeeze.
"Alright," he sighed. "Turn it off then. I don't want to see you cry."
"I'm not crying," I frowned, turning off the television and dropping the remote. "I just don't like it when you're mean."
"You used to like my jokes."
"I used to be eight."
"Well, yeah," he chuckled. "Okay, so…I'm sorry."
"You're so weird," I told him, trying not to smile, but it was impossible to stay mad at him for more than two minutes.
"I know," he said with a glance at his watch. "Your parents are going to be home pretty soon anyway. Go brush your teeth."
"God!" I rolled my eyes. "It's only nine o'clock."
"Yeah, but…" Uncle Bob gave me a knowing smile, "…you're getting very sleepy."
"No I'm…y-yaaawn…not…" I blinked at him and I could hardly focus on his face.
"Listen, when you leave the house tomorrow morning, Wendy…"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Hey!" Reece didn't look up as I flopped onto the seat beside her. We'd been riding the school bus together since forever.
"What's that, fellatio?" I asked and then frowned as she stared at me. "I mean, is that your fellatio, Reece?"
"What?" She smiled and I really frowned.
"Did I just fellatio something weird?" I wondered.
"What are you talking about?" She giggled and the two boys sitting behind us whispered.
"I don't fellatio," I said. "This is fellatio. I can't stop saying fellatio."
"No kidding!" She stopped giggling. "You're kinda freaking me out, Wendy."
"Oh, fellatio!" I sighed. "My stupid Uncle Fellatio did this to me! That stupid fellatio!"
"Wendy!" Reece blinked at me and the boys laughed and the two girls in front of us had turned around, one of them grinning, the other looking confused.
"What's fellatio mean?" Suzy Conroy wondered and Vickie whispered something in her ear.
"Really?" Suzy's eyes got big and her face turned pink.
"Are you okay, Wendy?" Tim asked, leaning forward so his head was between me and Reece.
I ignored him and kept my lips tightly closed, knowing if I said anything, I'd say that word. Uncle Bob loved playing tricks on me and he'd played a good one this time. Making a seventh grader say fellatio on the school bus? That's just plain sick!
Of course the whole school found out. Reece wasn't exactly my best friend and she'd never been much for keeping secrets anyway, which was why I never told her any. And the boys, well, you know they had to tell their friends about how weird Wendy had been on the bus. And the other girls, they had to tell their friends and nobody believed any of it, like who would? So all day long everyone kept trying to make me say something just to see if I'd really say fellatio or not.
And sometimes I'd forget, dumb as that sounds.
"Good morning, Wendy." Ms. Chambers, my English teacher happened to be standing by the door as I entered her classroom.
"Good fellatio, Ms. Chambers," I said before I could stop myself.
"Excuse me?" She blinked a bunch of times and I gave her a blank look and a shrug. She let it go and didn't call on me at all in class, thank God.
And then in my third period history class, Mr. Shaw had been talking about the Great Depression and…
"So rumors of bank failures spawned runs on other banks and people rushed to withdraw their savings. The rumors caused the banks to fail and we call that…" he invited an answer from the class and ignored the upraised hands, "…Wendy? Can you tell us?"
"Um, a self-fulfilling fellatio?" I answered.
"Uh…" His mouth opened and there was silence for a second or two before the class erupted with laughter.
At least he didn't send me to the principal's office or anything, but Mr. Shaw did give me detention. Two hours after school and I took the detention slip from his fingers silently, believe me.
"I don't appreciate that sort of humor," he told me and I just nodded, trying to apologize with my eyes.
And then, as if all of that wasn't enough, two hours later in the cafeteria…
"Macaroni and cheese or beanie weenie casserole, dear?" Mabel asked me. She was one of the lunch ladies, the nice one who deserved nothing but smiles and sunshine.
"Fellatio and cheese," I replied pleasantly and then withered beneath her frosty glare.
I had a candy bar for lunch.
"Uncle Fellatio?" I asked as soon as I heard someone answer the phone.
"Wendy?" He laughed. "How's school going today?"
"You played a fellatio on me!"
"I wish!"
"You know what I fellatio! Make it fellatio!"
"Wendy," he sighed. "Calm down. I was just having a little fun."
"Fellatio?" I yelled and then lowered my voice. "I can't even fellatio two words without saying fellatio!"
"I noticed!"
"I hate fellatio!"
"You hate fellatio?" he asked, sounding confused. "Or me?"
"Fellatio!"
"I see."
"You'd better fellatio me right now," I told him. "Or I'll fellatio my dad!"
"Oh! I bet he'd like that!"
"Uncle Fellatio!"
"Shhhh…Do pink elephants come in other colors?"
"What?"
"You heard me," he chuckled.
"It worked!" I blinked and smiled. "You did it! But I'm still mad at you, Uncle Bob."
"I have to go. I'll come over for dinner tonight; I think your mom's serving purple beaver."
"Purple clitoris?" I asked and then gasped. "Uncle Clitoris!"
"Heheheh…" He hung up the phone.
"Clitoris!" I hung up my phone too and looked around, thinking I'd just skip out, but that would be bad probably.
There was no way I could spend three more hours in school, plus two hours of detention with Mr. Shaw, saying clitoris everytime I opened my mouth.
"I have a clitoris ache," I said and the nurse widened her eyes at me.
"You have a…what?"
"My clitoris hurts," I told her. "Can I be excused for the clitoris?"
"I, um…Did you fall down or…something?"
"Clitoris," I said.
"Right," Nurse Pearson cleared her throat. "Are you sure it's your, um…"
"Clitoris," I nodded and she sorta looked at my crotch like she could see the problem through my skirt and panties.
"Maybe you should lie down," she suggested. "Are you having your period?"
"Clitoris," I shook my head.
"Wendy," she almost smiled. "You don't have to keep saying that."
I nodded and tried my best to look apologetic.
"Lie down and I'll, um…take your temperature…or something…"
She seemed kind of unsure about what she was doing, but Nurse Pearson was only like two weeks out of nursing school anyway. That's why she worked at a junior high school, or else she really had a thing for thirteen-year-old boys. I mean, they all had a thing for her, believe me. Nurse Pearson looked like an underwear model with clothes on and most of us girls avoided her.
At least I did, since I hated being thirteen with a passion. Being a kid was okay, being an adult would be awesome, but being stuck halfway in between? It sucked. But my self-esteem issues were the least of my problems right then, sorta, and clitoris seemed like a word that nobody had any business saying anyway. Much like fellatio, I supposed, and I was gonna kill my Uncle Bob when I saw him again.
"Let's put this under your tongue," Nurse Pearson said, holding up a thermometer.
I sat on the gurney that passed for an examination table in her tiny office and sucked on the thermometer, trying to will myself into having a fever. That would've been seriously handy about then, but I suspected I'd be perfectly normal in that department.
"Maybe I should, um…take a look?" she suggested and I widened my big green eyes at her.
I'd been trying to tell her my tummy hurt, not my clitoris!
"It's okay, Wendy." She scrunched up her pert little nose with a smile. "I'm a nurse."
Yeah! A blonde bimbo underwear nurse who couldn't get a job anywhere else except maybe Hooters, I wanted to say. There was no way I'd let anyone look at my clitoris! I shook my head vigorously at that idea, but Nurse Pearson was too busy lifting my skirt and pulling my panties down to notice. At least she'd locked the door, but I suddenly wondered if maybe the woman didn't have a thing for thirteen-year-old girls! I mean, have you seen the news lately?
I was so gonna kill my Uncle Bob when I saw him again!
