Lick 'n Tiff - Chapter Nine - The Trouble with Tiffany
"Do you think I'm kinda…"
I pursed my lips and searched for the word I wanted.
"Weak?" I blinked at Licorice. "Yeah. Exactly. Do I have like a weak personality?"
He shrugged.
"What?" I frowned at him. "Then how'd you know I was looking for that word?"
We were sitting on the floor in the living room playing blackjack and I gave him another card.
"It wasn't a lucky guess!" I rolled my eyes. "You're such a big liar sometimes."
Licorice didn't want to hurt my feelings, but I needed the truth.
"I mean, look at that Amber chick," I said while I shuffled the cards. "It was like she hypnotized me or something…Cut."
I dealt the cards while Licorice licked his paws.
"I didn't even think I liked her that much," I sighed. "I licked her armpits. Huh? You want another card? I got a five, Lick…You oughta stand."
He never listened to me and I gave him a queen.
"Ha! Twenty-three," I grinned at him. "Told ya so!"
Lick gave me a dirty look.
"Anyway," I continued, "she must think I'm really desperate or something. God! I can't believe I did that."
We played a couple more hands in silence and Licorice was winning more than he was losing, which kind of annoyed me.
"Let me borrow a couple dollars," I said, reaching for his pile of money.
Licorice didn't like that idea, but I took it anyway and I wasn't gonna pay him back. I mean, he was my boyfriend, right? What did he expect!
"Strip blackjack?" I giggled. "What are you gonna take off, Lick? You don't even have a collar."
He didn't have an answer for that and I was just wearing panties anyway.
"You deal for awhile," I said, pushing the cards towards him. "You think I give out like some kinda vibe?"
He seemed to think about that for a second.
"I do?" I watched his eyes and my boyfriend wasn't lying. "I'm not a lesbian though."
Lick shrugged and I doubled down on my eleven.
"Yeah, I remember Sister Agatha," I sighed as I got a seven. "Mom doesn't count. That's totally different!"
But Lick didn't think so.
"I know she's a bitch," I rolled my eyes. "But that doesn't mean we're lesbians."
Girls were always bitches to Lick; he didn't mean it in a bad way.
"And Amber," I had to agree. "Yeah, okay. That was pretty gay, but…Yeah, I see your point."
Lick thought I was definitely throwing off some lesbian vibes and that bothered me a lot. I knew I wasn't a lesbian. How could I be? I didn't even like girls! I didn't like boys either. I liked dogs. My boyfriend was a dog and I'll admit that sometimes my eyes wandered, you know. Like the other day I saw this seriously hot Alsatian. I don't usually go for guys with long hair, but he looked pretty awesome and I really wanted his number, but Lick was with me and…you know. It woulda been kind of awkward.
Anyway, he had a good point. Even if my mom didn't count, and I didn't think she did because I totally loved her anyway, there was still the thing with Sister Agatha and then my experience with Amber. It seemed like they just knew they could do whatever they wanted with me and I wouldn't say no. Well, I couldn't really say no to Sister Agatha anyway, but you know what I mean. It was like she'd known exactly how I'd react, meaning I'd get all hot when she spanked me and then cum like crazy as soon as she started fingering my horny pussy.
How did she know that if I hadn't given her some kind of signal?
It bugged the heck out of me and Licorice just rolled his eyes as I spent about a half hour in front of my bedroom mirror. I wanted to see what Sister Agatha and Amber had seen, you know? Was it something in my eyes? They looked pretty blue, but lots of people have blue eyes. The way I brushed my hair? Except it had been pinned up at school and down around my shoulders when I'd met Amber. My smile? I smiled all the different ways I knew how. Happy, shy, surprised, doubtful, embarrassed…Oh!
"Does this look gay to you?" I asked Lick, giving him my best embarrassed smile.
He cocked his head to left.
"Maybe?" I nodded, looking back at the mirror. "Yeah, I think so too."
When I felt embarrassed I sorta smiled like I had a secret. A gay lesbian secret maybe. Like I secretly wanted some girl to spank my butt and make me lick her underarms? No way! I shook my head at that. It couldn't be my smile. Body language maybe? I stood on my bed, even though Licorice teased me, and tried standing in different ways. With my arms crossed and at my sides; with my legs spread and together. I shrugged my shoulders and tilted my head this way and that.
"I just look like me," I sighed, standing on my bed wearing nothing but a pair of plain white panties.
That had probably been a mistake.
"No! I'm not gonna dance like a stripper!" I told him. "God! Where do you get that stuff anyway?"
Licorice wanted a lap dance and I ignored him. I wasn't really feeling very sexy right then, but I wondered what I'd do if some girl had been sitting on my bedroom floor, asking me for a sexy dance…Well, what would I be doing standing on my bed in panties anyway? Duh! I really thought there was something wrong with me sometimes. I just hoped it wasn't my sexual orientation because I really liked my boyfriend's cock, you know?
"Tiffany? Are you getting ready?" Mom called out from her bedroom and that was a whole other problem. "Michael's going to be here in half an hour!"
"Yeah Mom!" I yelled back, knowing I could wait until Dr. Hanson was ringing the doorbell and I'd still be ready before Mom. She was stressing too, believe me, and I hadn't sorted that out yet either.
I had other things on my mind anyway, like…
Did my clothes look gay? Did I dress like a lesbian? I had a sudden panic attack as I opened my closet and looked through my clothes. I'd worn my uniform to school though, the same one as all the other girls, so…No, I decided. My clothes were normal. It had to be me and that almost made me feel better except it didn't.
The worst thing was I couldn't even ask my mom about it. We'd had sex! Like, uh…Gee, Mom…Do you think I'm kinda queer? She was probably struggling with the same question. Well, I knew she wasn't. Mom knew she wasn't totally gay because she'd been married, had a baby, loved Dr. Hanson and wanted to have his baby probably, and that made her at least fifty percent not gay, right? Like even more than that probably. Mom had to be mostly straight and just, you know, sorta bisexual or whatever.
Most girls are, you know. I read it in a magazine at Supercuts when I got my hair cut last year. The article said it's completely normal for a girl to like other girls sexually, even romantically because girls are from Venus, whatever that means. But normal girls like boys too and I only liked boy dogs, so…What did that mean? I was confusing myself and I shook my head trying to clear it. If I kept this up, I'd end up in some hospital with a big box of crayons and a blank wall to play with.
And still a lesbian to boot!
Except, "I'm not a lesbian!" I practically yelled and Licorice just shook his head sadly.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Thank you for calling Dial-A-Shrink, please use the automated call forwarding system to direct your call. Push 1 now if you're feeling depressed…"
"Huh?" I frowned, wondering what the other options might be. I didn't feel particularly sad, just sorta concerned.
"Push 2 now if you suffer from drug or alcohol dependency..." I rolled my eyes at that one. Isn't that what Dial-A-Dealer is for? "Push 3 now if you're having problems with work..." blah blah blah "…Push 7 now if you suffer from sexual anxiety…"
Finally! I hit the number seven button and gave Lick a thumbs up…He really hates that!
I had to listen to music for five minutes while Licorice told me all thirty-one reasons why opposable thumbs are overrated.
"Well at least I can hold a hammer!" I retorted, remembering how much it had hurt when I'd hit my thumb by mistake once. I just didn't want to concede the point.
"Excuse me?" some woman asked.
"Uh, sorry…Hi."
"Hi, I'm Dr. Nora. Can I have your name please?"
"Ummm…Debbie," I lied, but don't ask me why.
"Okay, Debbie," she said pleasantly. "What would you like to talk about today?"
"Are you a real shrink?"
"Yes I am," she replied, not sounded offended at all.
"Good. Okay, um…I think I'm a lesbian? But I don't want to be and my boyfriend says I give off a gay vibe or whatever, but I can't figure out where it's coming from and…"
"Slow down, dear…" the woman said, waiting patiently until I ran out of breath.
"…in the mirror and all my clothes look perfectly normal and everything, so…Huh? Oh. Sorry."
"It's okay. How old are you, Debbie?"
"Who? Oh! I'm sixteen," I told her. "Why?"
"I'm just curious," Dr. Nora said lightly. "Have you ever been intimate with another girl?"
"Uh…Intimate?" I knew what she meant, but I didn't want to sound too eager or whatever.
"Like kissing," she explained needlessly.
"Yeah, kinda," I agreed.
"Kinda?" I could hear her smile. "Were you intimate with another girl recently?"
"This morning," I said. "Just before lunch."
"Okay, well…What happened? Can you tell me?"
"Uhhh…It's kind of embarrassing."
"I'm a doctor, Debbie," she said. "It's okay."
"I, um…I licked a girl's armpits," I said, wincing as soon as I said the words. "Does that make me a lesbian?"
"Did you enjoy, uh…that?"
"At the time," I admitted with a nervous giggle, "I liked it a lot."
"I see."
I slammed the phone down a minute later.
"She said I'm queer," I told Licorice and he just nodded like he'd known it all along.
"You're not ready yet?" Mom walked into the kitchen wearing a satin half-slip. "Who were you calling?"
"Nobody," I said innocently, looking anywhere except at her because maybe if I saw her like that I'd start thinking I wanted to kiss her and…
"Why is my credit card on the counter?" She picked up the plastic. "Tiffany?"
"Wow! It's almost five," I said, looking at the wall clock. "I'd better get dressed."
That bought me only a tiny reprieve and I tried to calculate $6.99 a minute times like twelve minutes or something. Call it fifteen, stupid push this number and that number and five minutes of Hit Me Baby One More Time played on a banjo. Just to find out what I already knew? God! I shoulda known that Dial-A-Shrink thing was just a big scam!
Mom was going to kill me when she got the bill for it too!
I wanted to just wear a t-shirt and some jeans, but that was out of the question. We were going to the Virgin Circus at school and I had to wear something presentable, whatever that means. My mom defined it as a dress, or at least a skirt and nice blouse, and I couldn't really argue with that. Being a catholic schoolgirl kinda sucked sometimes and usually when you least expected it, like going to a circus in a dress? But it wasn't a real circus either, just a pretend one with silly games and a little show put on by the choir and all that stuff. It was for charity, you know?
"You'd think Bingo Night would be enough!" I complained to Licorice.
He perked his ears at that. He loved playing bingo!
"No, you can't come. I told you that ten times already," I sighed. "Yeah, Lick. It's cause you're black."
I didn't have the heart to tell him my school was prejudiced against dogs. He wouldn't have believed me anyway.
"I'll never go back to what?" I narrowed my eyes. "You're sick!"
But then I laughed at him and grabbed my blue dress, the one with a zillion white polka dots all over it.
"It does?" I frowned and put it back. I wasn't sure if it really looked gay or not, but Lick seemed to think so.
After a few more false starts I settled on a black skirt, made out of vinyl or something. It was really shiny anyway, short too, and I wore a ribbed top with it, like a t-shirt with a v-neck, except it was a real top and looked pretty okay. I had a cool belt, really wide and made out of pink leather, and I wore that kinda loose, you know. It went good with my pink Skechers. I had some pink earrings as well, nice ones even though they were plastic, and I decided to leave my hair down. I just brushed it to the left instead of the right. Maybe parting the hair on the right was a secret lesbian sign or something, I wasn't sure, and I had a pink barrette to keep it there.
"Pink lip gloss isn't gay, right?" I asked myself in the mirror and I figured I looked totally like a heterosexual girl.
"How do I look?" I asked Licorice as the doorbell rang and Mom could deal with that.
It was her date anyway. Mom was just dragging Dr. Hanson to my school and he was nice enough to pretend to be excited about it. That's one reason he was so completely awesome in my book. I'd never had a dad, you know, so all I knew was what I saw on television mostly, since nearly all of my friends came from broken homes like mine. Dr. Hanson would have made a pretty good TV dad, I thought, and I wouldn't mind if he was my dad until I left for college or whatever.
"I do?" I blinked at Licorice. "Is it my belt or my earrings? What?"
Lick couldn't say why I looked like a lesbian, only that I did. The total package, he called it. Like I'd taken all the heterosexual ingredients and mixed them all together to get a gay sixteen year old girl.
"Tiffany! Michael's here…" Mom yelled. "Come on! We're ready to go!"
Mom wasn't going to let me spend another twenty minutes changing, I knew that. Shoot! I stared at myself in the mirror. Maybe it was because I wasn't wearing a bra. I couldn't really see my nipples through my top, but maybe…
"It's my tits, isn't it?" I asked Lick and he nodded slowly, but then he caught my frown and pretended like he was just scratching behind the ear.
Yeah, I decided. My braless boobs were definitely a surefire dead giveaway that I was a total lesbian. I'd probably have girls hitting on me all night long. I'd be helpless too. I already knew that much about myself. I just couldn't say no to a hot chick. I couldn't even say no to a nun, for Christ's sake! God! And Sister Agatha would be there and she'd see me and remember how I'd cum all over her fingers. She'd probably ask me if I wanted another spanking, like whispering in my ear and rubbing my butt through my skirt, and I already knew I'd swallow hard, blush sweetly, and nod my head like the submissive little lesbian slut I didn't want to be!
"Just a second, Mom!" I shouted, digging through my underwear drawer until I found it.
I yanked up my top and I had one strapless bra. I could put it on and not even mess up my hair, at least not any more than it already was. I fastened it backwards around my tummy, turned it the right way, and pulled my bra up and over my tits. Easy as pie and it had only taken about that long to do it. I tucked my top back into my skirt, fixed my big pink belt so it looked cool 'n casual, like it was about to fall off my hips any second, and…
"Hmmm…" I looked at myself in the mirror, turning this way and that. I didn't really look any different, but I definitely couldn't see any nipple action now. Could a bra really make that much of a difference? It didn't seem like it should, but then again none of this made much sense, did it? Lesbians don't wear underwear? That thought made me smile.
"What do you think, Lick?" I asked him, posing with my hands on my hips while he looked me up and down. "Do I look like a lesbian or what?"
"Definitely," a soft, feminine voice fell from the open doorway onto my heart.
Her fingers played mischievously along the waistband of her leather hipsters while her lustrous green eyes drank me in. All I could do was blink at the girl, feeling my cheeks growing warm and my tummy tingling with a surge of nervous energy. Licorice looked between us and his tail thumped the carpet as he probably imagined another threesome in his immediate future.
"Amber?" I whispered.
"Surprise," she said with a giggle. "Don't I get a kiss?"