Girl Fag 28
I'd never been in the boy's bathroom before, but I'd seen men's rooms, like when people go in or out and I'd take a peek, you know. Plus I'd been in the men's room out at the rest area on the highway too, so it wasn't really a big deal, except that somebody could come in any minute. That was scary and made me nervous, but it was sorta good too, like it might be fun almost getting caught, but not really being caught. I don't know. It's hard to explain and whatever I was feeling, it was making my tummy do flip-flops.
I got in the farthest stall as quick as I could, sort of breathing hard and almost giggling. Brian was right behind me and he closed the door, latching it as we stood close together in that little rectangular cubicle. It looked just like the a stall in the girl's bathroom, but why wouldn't it?
"Shhh…" Brian grinned and put his finger to his lips, cause I was laughing, but trying to stop, or at least do it quietly.
"What…" I took a little breath, feeling hot all over. "What are we gonna do now?" I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to kiss him.
"Uh, do you wanna do that…thing…again?" Brian asked slowly.
"What thing," I giggled and put my hand over my mouth.
"What you did last night," Brian's face was a little red and he was cute like that, I thought.
"What did I do?" I asked innocently, like I couldn't remember. I was teasing him and feeling my stomach tighten with excitement.
"You know…" he was touching me, rubbing my upper arms and shoulders. "That, uh…Sucking me thing."
"Ohhh…" I licked my lips. "That sucking thing."
"Yeah," Brian breathed. "Do you wanna?"
"Here?" I looked around. "In the boy's bathroom?" I giggled nervously, trying to imagine how much trouble we could get into if someone caught us, but that was beyond any 14 year old's imagination.
I was getting some seriously mixed feelings too, which really drowned out anything else, including the fear of being caught. I mean, Brian made me feel like a girl, like I wanted to be a girl, and that was confusing enough. He was the only one who did that to me. But giving him a blowjob in the boy's bathroom? That was seriously gay, I thought, probably cause I just remembered the rest area and the guy's who wanted to use the gloryhole there. They were fags and I'd been a fag too, and now I felt like a fag again. But I felt like a girl too and it made my heart stomp in my chest and my stomach cramp with excitement, and my clit and my nipples and even my ears burned.
This was new, this being a girl and fag at the same time. It didn't make a whole lot of sense and if I really thought about it, the idea seemed stupid and ridiculous. But it was like I was coming together, you know? Like I could be a girl and a fag and it wasn't a fight inside me at all. I felt good about myself for a change, like all of me, and that was the biggest turn-on of all.
"Yeah…" I whispered. "I'll suck it again."
I sat down on the toilet seat, which felt kind of weird since I was wearing corduroys, but who cares? I sat down and pulled Brian closer and it was just about perfect cause he was so tall. I undid his jeans and unzipped his fly and pulled out his cock, not too gently though, cause he was hard and not so long maybe, but nice and thick and it made Brian wince a little until I had his cock free in my hands.
"I like it when you suck me," Brian decided and I rolled my eyes at him. He sounded like a total virgin.
"All the boys do," I sighed, licking my lips as I got a nice close-up look at his cock.
It was pretty cute, actually. I was pretty much into cocks now and they were the coolest things in the world. Balls too and I totally wished I had a pair, you know? Pussy was sorta okay, I mean girl's were pretty and sexy and I liked Lisa's and my girlfriends' just fine, but a hard cock? That was just cool cause it was aggressive, like a hot muscle car ready to tear it up. Pussies got fucked, but cocks did the fucking and that was what I liked most. Brian's cock was ready to fuck and I wanted to be the pussy for it and that had nothing to do with what was between my legs because boys could be pussies too. Everybody knows that.
I licked Brian's penis like an ice cream cone at first, just running my tongue up and down and around the head and shaft. I could taste him finally, not like the night before when we'd been covered with hot water. This time he was hot and dry and I could taste his skin and smell his cock and balls, a little sweaty with a tiny bit of musk maybe, but not strong, not dirty at all. He had a thatch of curling brown hair around the base of his cock and I pulled his briefs down a little so I could see his balls too, covered thinly with fine dark hair. I played with them in my right hand while my left held his cock and I took the head into my mouth slowly.
"Mmmm…" Brian sighed and I might have smiled, if my lips weren't totally stretched around his dick. He wasn't so long, like almost six inches maybe, but Jesus was he thick! My fingers wouldn't go all the way around him and maybe by the time he was all grown up it would be as big around as a soda can or something. If it was that would be too bad, cause I'd never get in my mouth then! Or at least not in my throat, you know?
I was sort of noisy while I was sucking him, taking just the head and maybe two inches besides, filling my mouth with Brian's cock and wriggling my tongue beneath it the best I could. Soft wet slobbering sounds echoed in the bathroom and I tried to go slower, to be more careful, but all that did was making the soft sucking noises seem louder. Every once in awhile my lips would lose their seal too and that was a loud sort of noise, kinda like short wet fart, and it made me giggle a little every time it happened. But that was okay because any noises I tried to make were muffled pretty good.
I started bobbing my head up and down and Brian's cock was dripping precum like crazy and I had a lot of saliva too, so his cock was making wet plumbing noises. The noise probably sounded louder to me than it really was, but it was so quiet in that bathroom. My boobs were aching, like they were trying to grow, and I pressed my elbows closer together and leaned against them so they would rub my tits a little. I was squeezing my thighs together too, trying to mash my clit, but of course that wasn't working. All it did was rub my pussy lips together and I could feel the wetness trickling out of me.
"Oh, man…Oh…Jeeze, Ann…" Brian was making his own noises, and breathing hard through his mouth as he looked down at me, his hands on my shoulders, squeezing me and massaging me gently.
I must have looked like I guy, I thought, feeling like such a fag it was unbelievable. All he could see was my short blonde hair as I stroked his cock between my lips. I was wearing boy clothes and sitting on a toilet in the boy's bathroom, sucking Brian off like we were two queers. But I was his girl too and that was nice, cause I didn't mind my pussy getting wet or my tits growing bigger, or anything else. I was Brian's girlfriend and if we had to do it in the boy's bathroom, I didn't care. Wendy Eversman wouldn't ever do this for him and part of me hoped the girl would find out, even though it would probably make me sound like a slut, kinda. It would be worth it to see the look on her face when she found out why Brian was my boyfriend and not hers.
"You like that?" I breathed, catching some air and then smiling as I moved my tongue down to Brian's balls. That made him gasp and I giggled with one of his sperm filled nuts filled my mouth. He had some big ol' baby makin' balls, as Coach liked to remind me, warning me to stay away from Brian and boys like him. But a blowjob was okay, right?
"Yeah…God yeah!" Brian was kinda wobbly and he liked getting his balls sucked a lot! His hand was on my head, stroking my short blonde hair while I washed his sack with my tongue, spitting out one testes and taking the other one inside. Balls are so cool! And I really liked the way his wet, hard cock was sliding across my face the whole time. It was kinda messy, but I didn't care.
The door opened suddenly and the squeaky sound of sneakers echoed loudly and Brian and I both froze. His cock was back in my mouth then and I just held it there, trying to breathe slowly around it through my nose. My heart was pounding as we listened to whoever it was pee in the urinal for a minute or so. I kept thinking if that kid just happened to look under the door of the stall he'd see four feet, mine and Brian's, facing each other and so close that it could only mean one thing…My heart was going to burst, I thought, and my lungs ached cause I was hardly breathing at all.
I hoped he wasn't gonna wash his hands, whoever it was. Boys never washed their hands anyway, or so it seemed to me, but maybe that was just my brothers being lazy. What if someone else walked in, I wondered? And someone after that, like a little parade, never really stopping long enough so we could finish what we were doing, or at least make an escape. This was a bad idea, I thought, a really, really bad idea.
But the boy didn't wash his hands and a couple minutes after he walked in, he was walking out, still squeaking in his shoes. I pulled Brian's cock out of my mouth, swallowing spit and precum and taking several deep breaths.
"We gotta hurry," I whispered and Brian nodded. I didn't know if he was as nervous as I was, but I hoped so. It was time to stop fooling around!
I took his cock in my mouth again, sucking harder and moving my mouth up and down in time with my hand. I was swirling my tongue around the head and then tickling him underneath, doing everything I could think of to make it feel really good. I held his balls gently, massaging them and wondering a little what that was feeling like for him. I hoped it felt good and Brian wasn't complaining. He was pushing with his hips a little and every now and again his cockhead would hit the back of my mouth making me gag and choke just a little. I finally put my right hand on his thigh and tried to keep him from moving too much.
"Oh, uh…Uh…I'm gonna shoot it…Ohhh!" Brian was whispering and it wasn't really a warning at all cause my mouth was suddenly filled with spurts of his warm sperm, still gooey and salty and tasting much like it had the night before.
I swallowed fast and really just tried to keep my throat open while I pumped his cock with my hand. I didn't want to spill any of it, especially since there wasn't any room between us. Whatever I didn't keep in my mouth was going on my shirt probably, or maybe my pants. It was a lot though. Brian was a seriously healthy teenage boy and he had some great balls. My shirt already had some stains on it from the saliva and precum that had spilled out of my mouth. Now a few big drops of Brian's semen were added to them and he was a long time cumming too.
"Oh, man…God, Ann…" he swallowed thickly and squeezed my shoulder. "Oh, that was great…Thank you…"
I was still busy swallowing and licking around his dick and trying to wipe the sperm off my shirt with my fingers, sucking them quickly clean. I sat back up, breathing hard and red faced from two or three minutes of really hard dick sucking, but I'd made him cum quick, I thought to myself, and I was sorta proud of that. Brian pushed his cock back into his pants, bouncing on his toes a little and grinning at me. He was still catching his breath too.
"Go watch the door, kay?" I told him, cause I needed to wash my hands and face and wipe the spermy spots on my shirt.
Luckily for us, nobody tried to come in and if some kid had, I wasn't sure what Brian would say. But at least he was the biggest boy in school, so he probably wouldn't have to say much. Unless it was a teacher, but they had their own bathrooms, so…I cleaned myself up quickly and then Brian checked the hallway so I could scramble the dozen feet or so to the safety of the girl's bathroom, which was empty too, thank goodness. I'd almost been afraid Wendy Eversman and her friends would be in there, waiting to catch me doing something. I'd sorta changed my mind about her finding out after that boy had almost caught us, you know?
I used the toilet, removing my pad gingerly as it was soaked with my juices, but the good thing was there wasn't any blood at all. There'd been just a little when I'd woken up that morning and now my period was finally over. I peed and wiped my pussy and even dared to get a handful of toilet paper wet in the sink, darting back into the stall and washing my pussy and thighs. I hadn't cum or anything, but I'd been plenty excited and that always made me juicy down there.
Brian wasn't in the hall when I came out, so I figured he'd gone back to his class and that's what I did, having to apologize to my teacher for taking so long. I'd been gone more than half an hour and that was a long time to use the bathroom. Matt gave me a funny look, but all I could do was give him a shrug. He wasn't gonna like me having anything to do with Brian Hades, him or Lance, and I wished I knew how I was going to explain it to them.
At shop class I was working with Hank Cormier, trying to fix his dad's new snowblower, which wasn't new at all. He'd bought it for 60 dollars and I personally thought he'd paid too much, considering it had a little two piston, 2-stroke engine and the valves on both of them were shot completely. Still, it was fun tearing that thing apart and Hank wasn't a dummy, he knew what we were doing, so it went pretty fast.
I thought I could machine one of the valves, but it was no go, they were all gonna need replacement. They'd burned bad, which meant whoever had owned it before was using like high octane gas or something, maybe adding grain alcohol or something since he figured it was cold outside, who knows. When you fix as much stuff as I do you see all kinds of stupid stuff and people get really weird ideas. Anyway, the heat makes the valves brittle and they were cracked and pitted and even warped a little, and then they didn't seat correctly so you didn't get decent compression and the engine mostly sputtered, if it worked at all. The plugs were scorched too, but that was simple, the real problem was those valves. I told Hank we probably oughta change his piston rings too, cause if the valves were that bad, those were probably toast as well. It would suck getting it all together and then seeing nothing but a cloud of black smoke, you know?
Hank was a nice guy too. Average looking, kind of short and a little pudgy, but cute when he smiled, which was a lot. I'd known him a long time and he was one of David's friends. They'd been really close until David had started dating Sherry and Jane, and that sort of made me pause. I wondered if guys sort of stopped being really close once they got girlfriends. I hoped not, I needed my best friends.
"I, uh…I heard you were going out with Jane Hudson now," Hank said at one point, surprising me a little, although I guess it shouldn't have.
"Yep," I grunted a little, working a nut to get at the pistons. I was betting they were pitted too.
"So you're a guy, huh?" he asked and I wasn't sure what he meant by that.
"I've always been a guy," I decided with a laugh, like maybe it was a joke. I figured he could take that whichever way he liked. He'd known me since I was like eight, being David's buddy and all. We'd seen each other a lot.
"Well yeah, I know," Hank said and he was acting sort of funny, cause usually he was always joking around when we were together. "You need that Allen?"
"Yeah, the 5/16…thanks." Even the set screws were like welded in place, it was sort of annoying me. "So?" I said a moment later, glancing at Hank like he needed to say something more.
"Uh, well I just always kind of thought, um, I mean you're so cool and everything…" he was trying to get it out.
"Thought what?" I asked with an exasperated chuckle.
"Well, I mean you were little before, so I was kinda waiting…" another pause while he thought about what he was trying to say.
"You're not asking me out, are you, Hank?" I asked, suddenly getting a sense of where this was going.
"Uh, do you want to?" he smiled hopefully.
"Nope," I said. "I got a girlfriend, remember?"
"Well, yeah, but, um…Maybe I thought you, just, uh…"
"What? Like I didn't meet the right guy?" I laughed and sat up, smiling at him. "I love you, Hank."
"You do?" he widened his eyes.
"Like a brother, man." I grinned as he took it pretty good, smiling and shrugging.
"I just thought I'd ask."
"It's cool," I assured him. "Now let's get that shaft out of there, kay?"
I wondered if every guy friend I had was gonna hit on me. First Josh, now Hank. Who was next, The Boz? I hoped not, it was gonna get old turning down a dozen guys I really liked as friends. They were all older too, like Hank was seveteen, and they were probably noticing my body change a lot more than I ever had. He'd been waiting until I got older, or so Hank had said, and I wondered how long that was. I guess fourteen, almost fifteen was old enough.
I had tits now and some nice round butt and even looking like a guy didn't fool them, and I suspect some of those guys liked that the most about me. Like I'd be a really cool girlfriend because I was into the same things they were. Cars and sports and all that. I could be Hank's best friend most of the time and later, when he got me naked? Yeah, I'd be a hot little girlfriend in his bedroom…What guy wouldn't go for that? Heck, if I was a guy I'd probably ask me out too. Or something, you know what I mean. That was kinda funny and I just smiled to myself as we worked on that engine.
Coach Haven wasn't at football practice that Wednesday afternoon, but I didn't figure she would be. Maybe Lisa really was sick, and I imagined her and Steve getting food poisoning from a burrito or something on their first date. Wouldn't that totally suck? But I sorta doubted that's what had happened. Maybe they'd been up all night long, you know? Sorta talking and stuff. Or maybe just the 'and stuff' part. I sure hoped so, that would be really cool because it would mean they were getting along fine.
I knew Steve was an aggressive guy anyway. He got bored quickly and he liked to dump his girls fast once he figured out they weren't going to be serious. My brother didn't waste a lot of time waiting around to get inside their panties either, I knew that. It had sorta bothered me a little, when I'd first understood that about him. But on the other hand, Steve liked girls his own age or better yet girls who were a little older than he was, so they knew what they were doing and I didn't have a lot of sympathy for old girlfriends crying because they'd let steve fuck them and three days later got dumped. Or maybe that was just my guy brain hard at work rationalizing the reasons, I don't know.
Of course, if it was a serious thing between my brother and Lisa, since I really thought they were perfect for each other, then maybe Steve would take his time. He might try falling in love for a change and that thought sort of made me tingle a little. Steve was getting pretty old, like almost 22 and Daddy had already had three kids by then! But that hadn't worked out so good for my dad, had it? And besides, falling in love didn't really explain Lisa not being around all day either. So, maybe they'd decided to hurry up and fall in love and go ahead and have a lot of sex too, since they were having such a good time anyway. That sorta made me laugh and I just really hoped Steve wasn't going to fuck Lisa and then send her packing like he'd already done with that Stephanie chick.
"The hell you gigglin' at, Russet?" Coach yelled. "Huddle up!"
I blinked and nodded and ran onto the field. I'd been daydreaming like that all through practice.
"Red One Right on two," Brian called the play and looked around at us, stopping his eyes on me. "You wanna go out tonight?"
Nine other helmets turned to look at me and I felt my face turning red, he'd been teasing me all through practice like that and it had been making Matt and Lance sorta mad. I liked it sorta, but I didn't like it too, especially in a huddle with nine other boys there.
"No," I said, not really sure if I was teasing him or not.
"Yeah you do," Brian laughed. "Break!" and we all clapped hand walking to the scrimmage line. A few of the guys were snickering and I saw Matt and Lance, who were on defense, sort of looking at the offense and wondering what was so funny.
Coach's plays were pretty easy to remember. If it was red it was a running play, and we had 12 of those, which could go right or left, or up the middle. The first three plays, were all up the middle, but Brian still called left or right, to tell me which side he was turning to. He was left handed anyway, so he always called right and on this play, Red One Right, I took the ball and went right between the right guard and tackle. I spun away from Kurt Vale, who was Jackie's little brother, and juked left, right, and right again so that Lance fell on his faked out face. I got about 7 more yards before Matt took me down, but I stiff-armed him pretty good and almost got away. He just got lucky.
"You okay?" Matt asked me, sort of laying on my thighs.
"Yeah," I gave him a little push so he'd get off me. He was talking about Brian, not his tackle, and I wished him and Lance would relax. It was like having two of my brothers on the team with me. But I guess it was supposed to be like that too, don't you think? But I still resented it a little.
"Blue niner left on one. Come over to my house, tonight," Brian was looking at me again. "Break!" he broke the huddle before I could reply.
Blue was passing and Blue Seven was the only real passing play I had to worry about, that was a screen pass to me. On this one all I had to do was take a fake and run right, since Brian would be throwing left. Some plays I did some real blocking, but on this one all I had to watch for was a blitz coming from the right and if I saw one to pick it up. But they weren't blitzing and it was good fake, half the defense keyed on me anyway and they took a few steps to their left out of reflex, before they realized Brian still had the ball and was gonna throw it.
I was the third receiver in that play too, which meant if Brian got in trouble he would eventually look and see if I was open, so I turned it upfield and ran my ass off. I wasn't supposed to, I just felt like it. I was supposed to go like five yards or so and break toward the middle, making Brian's throw easier if he had to make one. I'm the fastest player on the team though, a lot faster than most of the other boys, so anytime I hit the burners I was gone!
The only bad thing was that I was a lousy receiver. I mean, I could carry the ball like that Deon Sanders guy used to, light and quick and ready to bust one for six points every time I touched it. But catching? I dunno. I just thought about it too much, I think, when the ball was in the air, you know? Coach hated that and so I didn't get to receive a lot. I hadn't gotten the ball that play either, so I just had a long jog back to the huddle.
But like all good football players, I complained. "I was wide open!" I said and Brian just shook his head. Every quarterback knows every receiver is gonna say he was wide open, they learn to ignore that quick.
"Come to my house and I'll throw it to you," Brian grinned.
"No way," I rolled my eyes.
"Blue Two Left on three. Break!" we clapped and walked out of the huddle. "I can pass all day, Annie," Brian told me, and then stuck his mouth guard over his teeth.
Back in the huddle… "Are ya coming over?" Brian asked.
"She's scared, man," someone laughed.
"Nope," I shook my head.
"Blue Five Right on three. Break!" Brian gave me a little look. He really was gonna pass the rest of our little practice. Coach just wanted to see us going up the field. He'd told Brian to call what he wanted, but in a real game Coach would be calling plays.
Three more plays happened during which I did little more than watch and I was sorta getting pissed. We were thirty two yards from the goal line and it was almost time for our water break. We all wanted to score before Coach called us off the field. We'd be doing other drills for the second hour of practice.
"Last play," Brian breathed in the huddle. He'd scrambled on the last play and gained 6 yards. "You want it?" he was looking at me and I nodded.
"Gonna come over?" he looked at me without smiling.
"For five minutes," I agreed reluctantly.
That was all Brian needed to hear and he grinned. "Red Twelve Left…" he slapped a couple helmets. "You guys don't forget to pull. On one. Break!"
Red Twelve was like a draw play, except I didn't go up the middle, I went left or right, taking a delayed handoff while the guard and tackle pulled off the line and ran down ahead of me, picking up any defender that was in my way as I followed them. It was sort of a tricky play, since a lot of people were moving in strange directions. Fourteen year olds aren't really good at pulling, you know? But the defense was only a bunch of 14 years old too, so that sorta made it even.
I took the handoff, after a couple long heartbeats of waiting while Brian made like he was passing right and then I took the handoff and went left. As usual, I was ahead of the pulling blockers anyway and Coach was yelling, asking what the hell we were doing, but it was okay cause I went around the line and past Lance, the linebacker, like he was standing still. Matt was playing strong safety and he was coming up, but Tad Davidson, our best wide receiver, was gonna block for me. He got in Matt's way enough that I just went left and then went further left, flying around them and dancing just inside the line. A couple seconds later I was dropping the ball over my shoulder in the end zone. Lots of guys spiked it when they scored, but I always thought just dropping it like it wasn't any big deal was way cooler. Like it was an insult almost. Touchdowns were a dime a dozen, I was saying, and they sorta were for me. At least against our defense.
I loved playing football and I gave Tad a high five cause he'd given me a good block, and we both knew it was his touchdown too.
Brian didn't really live too far out of my way, although Matt and Lance weren't very happy seeing me ride off into the sunset with Brian Hades. I didn't mind though. Despite my all my repeated efforts to say no, I'd really wanted to say yes too. I just thought Brian was sort of a jerk for asking me the way he had. It made me wonder why I liked him so much.
I mean, it had to be just a physical thing, you know? I didn't really like his attitude all that much. I didn't like the way he treated my friends, or even me before. I didn't like his stupid friends. I didn't like that he was a jerk and his sense of humor was that of a bully for sure. So why did I like him so much? Just cause he was seriously cute with his buzz cut blonde hair, deep blue eyes and little dimples when he smiled? Did I really love him just for that? It seemed kinda shallow when I really thought about it.
It was about a twenty minute ride and Brian talked all the way to his house and I just listened mostly. He was telling me some story about some kid he'd embarrassed back in third grade or something. He was laughing and maybe thinking it was really impressing me, but I didn't find it very funny. It just reinforced my doubts.
Brian's house was dark when we got there and I wondered where his family was. I didn't expect to be there alone with him.
"My folks went over to a friend's house for dinner," Brian shrugged. "They said I didn't have to go if I didn't want to." He was smiling and puffing his chest out a little, like it was a big deal his parents trusted him so much. "They won't be home til late."
"I can't stay," I said. "Five minutes, remember? I gotta get home too."
I wasn't even sure I wanted to get off my bike, really. Spending the last 20 minutes with Brian had felt kinda like a date and not a real good one. I didn't really like it. Maybe if we'd just been kissing or something it would have been better. I had liked that stuff a lot. But now I was really thinking that maybe liking sex with a guy wasn't the same as liking the guy, you know? But I thought I'd loved him and maybe part of me did, but part of me definitely didn't like him either and it was like sitting on a see-saw with someone who got heavier sometimes, and lighter other times. It was confusing and I didn't know if I was going up or down.
"It's okay, come on, let me just show you my room. It's cool," Brian was smiling and I was sorta liking him again.
"I should get going maybe…" I was straddling my bike.
"Nah, come on. Just five minutes, you said, right?" he was getting off his bike and I shrugged, thinking five minutes would be okay.
Brian's room was nice. He had some cool posters of guys like Dante Culpepper, the quarterback of the Vikings, whom everyone agreed was pretty much a football stud, even though he played for a sucky team. And Brett Farve, who was a stud too, except he played for the Packers and nobody I knew liked them very much. I grinned at the poster of Levi Smith, thinking that if Levi couldn't get in my pussy, how was Brian gonna do it? Except Brian made me feel different than Levi had, didn't he? Levi was a fag, but Brian…He had a bed and a desk and some books, but I doubted he'd ever read any of them. He didn't strike me as the book reading type, you know?
"You got a cool room," I said, standing there not knowing what else to say.
"Yeah, it's great huh?" Brian smiled and looked around. "Uh, you wanna sit down?" he was getting on the bed and sort of looking like he meant next to him.
I wasn't really sure I wanted to be on his bed though. That seemed kinda bad somehow, like my instincts were acting up, and I thought maybe I should be leaving before he got any weird ideas. Or worse, before he kissed me or something and made me start to get weird ideas too, such as starting to love him again. I was more comfortable just sorta liking him.
"Um, I should get going maybe…" I licked my lips, glancing at the door. Brian had closed it behind us and that seemed strange suddenly, I mean with nobody else home anyway.
"Oh, you said five minutes!" he was smiling and his eyes were looking at mine. "Come on, I won't bite or nothin', just sit down."
I shrugged and moved to the bed, sitting down next to him on the springy mattress. We were kinda close like that and Brian leaned back a little, putting his arms out straight behind him so his right arm was right behind me. I was sitting up mostly, my arms crossed over my boobs like I was hugging myself and I wondered why I felt so nervous. Usually I was pretty sure I could take care of myself, but right then I felt kind of small. Probably it was being in Brian's bedroom. People did things in bedrooms, did things that I knew I didn't want to do. Plus it was Brian's place, you know? He was strong in there and confident, even more than usual, because he was home and I wasn't.
"I ain't gonna have sex with you," I said, without really meaning to. It just sorta came out like that.
"Huh?" Brian stared at me.
"I mean, um, well if that's what you're thinking…" I felt my face burning up with embarrassment.
Maybe he hadn't been planning on trying to put a baby in my belly. Maybe he just wanted to show me his room. People did that sometimes, just to be friendly and such. Maybe I was wrong, maybe my intuition or whatever I had was mistaken. I wasn't really a girl anyway, so what did I know?
"I'm not gonna do anything," Brian sounded innocent and I started feeling bad about what I'd been thinking. "I just want to be with you a little."
"Oh," I closed my eyes, feeling hot all over. "Sorry," I mumbled and then I started getting up. "I have to go anyway."
Brian put a hand on me, reaching across with his left hand and pushing my thigh a little so I'd sit back down. His right hand was on my back too, rubbing me just a little.
"I think about you all the time, Ann," Brian said and he was pulling me back by my shoulder, so I was falling kinda and then laying on his mattress with my legs bent at the knees, my feet not quite reaching the floor. "I dreamed about you last night."
"Brian, um…" I swallowed hard and looked at him, leaning over me. This was exactly what I was afraid of and I told my body to move, but it didn't. One minute I'd been saying we weren't gonna do anything and the next I was laying there and he was bending down…
Kissing me!
I felt his lips and then his tongue, moving over and between my lips and I let him do it. I mean, we'd kissed before, yeah, and done other stuff too! A lot of other stuff, but I wasn't sure I wanted to do that anymore. I'd been thinking and doubting and trying to figure out why I liked him when he was so totally obnoxious. And now I knew why. I liked him because of the way he was kissing me, the way his hand was on my breasts, feeling me through my shirt, giving my body a squeeze and making me suck his tongue harder.
The heat of my embarrassment quickly became a fire of another sort as my body responded to him. I felt fluttery all over, like I was covered with butterflies and I should have stopped him, but I didn't. Not right away. I just kissed him and put my hand on his leg, rubbing Brian's thigh and thinking he wasn't so bad. He was pretty nice when he wanted to be and I was in love with him all over again without knowing why.
When I felt his fingers on my jeans though, trying to unbutton my pants, it woke me up.
"Mmmphh…No…Brian…Stop…" I breathed, turning my head, but he moved with me, keeping his mouth over mine. His tongue cut off my protests and I was trying to push it out of my mouth with my tongue, but that was an awful lot like kissing too.
"Don't tease me…" he breathed into my mouth. "You want it."
His fingers were fumbling a little, probably cause he was so inexperienced, but he was getting my buttons undone, one by one, and I was pushing my hands against his chest. I felt my heart racing with excitement or fear, or both I guess. He wasn't stopping and I couldn't make him stop. He was kissing me and I had brief thoughts of biting him or something, but I didn't. I was so warm all over, so hot inside. His big hand was inside my jeans, touching my underwear, touching the bare skin of my lower tummy. He was inside my boxers, reaching for my pussy, and I was really scared all of a sudden.
"Brian…Stop…Please…Please!" I was breathing hard and he'd lifted his mouth as he felt the top of my sex under his fingers, just the barest hint of my thin pubic hair. "I don't want to…Okay? I can't do it."
"Yes you can, come on…Please, Ann? I really love you, I swear…Just a little bit…One time…" he was as desperate to do it as I was not to and I felt like crying for some reason. Not fighting, just crying.
That was the girl in me, maybe, or most likely just the 14 year old kid that I was. Boy or girl didn't really matter. I was little and this was bad, this was what I didn't want at all. If I was a boy inside or a girl, didn't make any difference right then. I wasn't thinking like that. I was just thinking that I wanted to love him, but he was hurting me. Not physically, my body felt good, I felt too good. I'd spread my legs unconsciously and he was moving his fingers down, across my clit which was fully aroused and buzzing like a hard little bee. But he was breaking my heart, I thought.
"I can't!" I swallowed and grabbed his wrist, stopping him from going further. "I told you…" I breathed. "I wasn't gonna do anything! I gotta go home!"
I pushed at him again and Brian didn't really try and stop me, but he didn't move either. He was sort of on top of me, his big chest over mine, his weight feeling so heavy, but good somehow too. I hated the way he was using me. My nipples were hard under my shirt and every time one of us moved they rubbed him so they almost hurt, like they'd been stung or something.
"Ann, I know you wanna do it…Come on…I wanna do it too…" he sounded like the boy he was, and he didn't have any good reason for this except we both wanted it. But he was only half right.
"I gotta go…I gotta go home…" that was all I was thinking and saying as I got out from under him. He didn't try and stop me, except by his looks. I buttoned my jeans back up, keeping my eyes down, not wanting to see him. When I did, Brian was still sitting there, propped up on his elbows looking at me.
"Come on, Annie! We're all alone, nobody's gonna know! Just try it one time, okay?"
He was talking about sex, I knew. Real boy-girl sex too. Not me sucking his dick, or letting him have sex with my butt, which I probably woulda done sooner or later. He wanted to put his cock inside my pussy and I could feel it too. My pussy was wet, that was what scared me the most. I was ready for it, my little clit was humming and I could feel the little muscles down there, contracting with every rapid beat of my heart, wanting to feel something inside. I was frightened by it, terrified and angry with my body. It was another betrayal, I thought, feeling that way. It wasn't who I wanted to be!
I didn't say anything. I just left, practically running down the stairs and out the front door. I stopped in the cold evening air and just breathed for a minute. It had felt like the house had been closing in on me, the walls of Brian's bedroom getting tighter. It was claustrophobia or whatever and I'd never experienced it before. But I was outside now and I felt myself getting better, feeling stronger again. I was regaining my sense of who I was, or at least who I wanted to be and that was different from what Brian wanted.
"He's such a liar!" I told myself out loud, putting my bag over my shoulder and getting on my bike.
I was done with him and that was it. I liked Brian and I hated him and I couldn't trust him at all. Every time I was with him I knew he'd try and get me to do it. To have sex with him like a girl and the worst part, the scariest part, was that I didn't trust myself either. My body was a big liar too, I thought. If I was with Brian, someday, somewhere, he'd win and I'd lose and I wouldn't have anybody to blame but myself.
I wish I had a better reason, or at least a better explanation for why I'd changed my mind so quick about Brian. But reasons and explanations aren't the same things, as my Daddy liked to say sometimes. Heck, they don't even go together all that well most of the time. But I had changed my mind, that was for sure, and it was just another normal confusing day in the life of Ann Russet. It did make me feel a little more free though, except for the fact that I hadn't told Brian I was breaking up with him before we really even got together. He wasn't gonna take that too well, but maybe he already knew.
I knew what it was; I was tired. Too many late nights. Too many early mornings and too much stressing about one thing after another. I tried to remember if I'd promised anybody anything that night. I hoped not. I just wanted to go to bed. About the only thing I thought I might do was call that Monica girl, but that was iffy at best. I hadn't figured that deal out at all and maybe I was a little scared because of the way Steve had talked. She sounded like my twin sister. It was one thing to hear that old saying about everyone having a twin someplace in the world, but altogether different when you might actually meet her.
Jerry Stiles was still there when I got home and I took the obligatory look to see what him and his son Wade were doing. Mostly they were just tearing the old pantry apart and it was pretty messy in there. But the idea that I was gonna have a room of my very own was pretty cool and I was happy about it. I ignored dinner, which was easy since Henry was the one who'd made it and he was being lazy as usual. Macaroni and cheese and some kielbasa sausage, which didn't taste bad probably, but our dad was gonna complain. He liked to have something that would stick to his ribs for dinner and anything that came out of a cardboard box wasn't rib-stickin' good in his opinion.
I went upstairs and took care of my stuff, climbing under my sheets with my big dildo around my waist. I don't know why exactly, but it felt good going to sleep with a cock in my hand. My own cock, and even if it wasn't real, I still stroked it like it was, feeling the base against my hard little clit like I was really jerking off. I felt like a boy, which was what I wanted more than anything because I knew Brian wanted me to be a girl. I was dropping him. After giving him his first kiss and his first blowjob, after telling him I sorta liked him a lot, I was dumping him. It was weird.
I woke up and it was dark and I was hungry. Greg and Henry were sleeping and I felt like I'd been asleep for a long time. I guess I had, since my little alarm clock said it was just after one in the morning. I wanted to go back to sleep, since waking up that early was gonna be bad later in the day, but it wasn't happening. I just laid there for about 15 minutes playing with my dick before I decided to get some food. I'd skipped dinner and I was hungry anyway. I undid my strap-on and left it under my sheets, grabbed a t-shirt and some boxers after feeling around blindly in my dresser and then went downstairs.
The house was quiet, which was strange. You sorta get used to all the noise that 7 boys can make all hours of the day, but now it seemed that they were all asleep. I was in the kitchen, microwaving some left over dinner when I realized not everyone was asleep, or even home. Steve's Mach I was pulling into the driveway with the distinctive heart hammering growl of a totally rebuilt 351 Cleveland under the hood. That car was beastly and a lot of people talked it down, but only because it didn't look anything but stock on the outside. Steve had thrashed a lot of wannabes with it though and we called it 'Deceiver' because when people asked, Steve just said he was still fixing it up…As if there was anything else we could to it! Except paint it, since it was all a dull patchwork of orange and gray primers and that was pretty funny. Like nice paint makes a car go faster? But some people think that way and those were the ones Steve loved to rack cause all they saw was an old, ugly 'Stang.
Someday Mark, David and me were going to play a joke on Steve and give it a serious, fine ass paint job when he wasn't looking. Like go all out with flames and probably a nice fade job. I wanted to take it from cerulean in the front to midnight blue at the back you know? With some photorealistic fire on the doors and panels. There's these guys on the coast…Man! They do the most awesome flames you ever heard of. Like people call the fire department cause they they look so real. I was trying to learn how to do it, but it was tough. It took like thirty layers of airbrush to get it right and mine didn't look nearly so good as theirs yet, but I was learning and when I got it down, Steve was gonna be in for a shock! Nobody would go near his car once we were finished with it.
Anyway, I talk too much about cars, huh?
At least Steve was back and I thought that was sorta good and bad. Good because I wanted to talk to him real badly about Lisa, and bad because if he'd been with Lisa and it was all gravy, why wasn't he there with her now? The answer came as soon as the kitchen door opened and Steve walked in pulling the woman behind him, smiling and shushing her and looking at me with playfully raised eyebrows. My brother was dressed normal for him, meaning jeans and a t-shirt with a jacket. Lisa looked a little chilly though, considering she was wearing what looked like a high school cheerleading outfit, except I didn't recognize the colors. It looked good on her though, especially with the letters KHS stretched tightly across her tits and a short pleated skirt that only mostly covered her butt. I guess Lisa had grown a little since 12th grade, but it still fit her pretty good, there was no denying that. She was giggling and when she saw me her face turned red and she lowered her eyes, but she was still laughing.
"Is she drunk?" I stared at her for a minute and then looked at my brother. He was a bit glassy-eyed himself and still smiling. "Are you drunk?"
"We were celebrating," Steve said and then he nodded. "She's a little drunk. I'm perfectly sober."
"Right!" I laughed at him. I'd seen Steve drunk before, of course, all my brothers liked to party once in awhile, and they were all pretty good about it. Steve was more buzzed than he was letting on though, that was for sure. He wasn't really wobbly or anything, but it was still a good thing our dad hadn't caught him driving like that. Grown up or no, Steve woulda gotten a free trip to the woodshed. Maybe.
"Good evening…Miss Russet," Lisa said softly, and then she laughed again, her knees going a little weak and I was afraid she'd fall down.
"You're the first to know, Ann," Steve was grabbing my shoulders.
"Know what?" I laughed at him, thanking God he'd made it home okay from wherever they'd been.
"Lisa…" he swallowed and then let go of me, stepping back to take the girl's hand in his.
"Hmmm?" she giggled, looking up happily.
"Elizabeth Haven and I are getting…Married!" Steve grinned at me and Lisa nodded, turning her eyes on mine so I could see her smiling face. "Where's Pops? I gotta tell him too…"
"Married?" I stared at them. "You just met!"
I didn't know if I was happy or not. I'd never thought about my brothers getting married. I mean, they talked about moving away sometimes, going to school or just finding their own place, or whatever. But married? I wanted to be happy for them, I mean sure, and they looked happy enough. But lots of drunk people looked happy without even knowing why. They'd known each other for what? A day? Thirty-six hours maybe? And they were getting married? I wanted them in love, not married. At least not that fast!
"Pops? Hey Pops!" Steve was yelling and I shook my head a little.
"Shhh…Steve! It's 1:30 in the morning! Hey…Come on…" I was grabbing him.
"I'm so happy, Miss Russet! He just asked me tonight, can you believe it? I'm so glad you introduced us…" Miss Haven was talking to me at the same time.
"Hey Pops, wake up! I want you to meet somebody!" Steve was looking up, like he could see through the ceiling or something.
"Uh, congratulations, Lisa," I smiled at her, real quickly as I held on to Steve. "Tell him in the morning, dude! It's late…Steve!"
He ignored me and yelled again.
"What the hell's going on down here?" Mark was coming down the steps, rubbing his eyes, and right behind him was Henry, who was rubbing his obviously hard penis through his underwear the way boys do when they wake up for some reason.
"What's all that…Hey…Jesus, what time is it...What's going on...Who's she...Where's the fire…"
Everyone was coming downstairs and asking the same questions and everytime someone would come into the kitchen Steve would hold Lisa close and give them the good news. It was chaos and I realized the house was back to normal. Except it was the middle of the night.
"Married huh?" my dad was there, standing in his bathrobe, which was probably a good thing. My brothers were all in their underwear, as was I for that matter, and luckily Lisa was drunk enough not to care. She took it all with a smile, leaning heavily on Steve who was leaning heavily against the refrigerator.
"Yes sir," Steve nodded. "I knew it from the minute I saw her, Pops." He looked at Lisa and it was obvious he was in love, "This is the girl I've been looking for."
"Where'd you guys meet at?" Greg asked.
"You marrying a cheerleader, bro?" David grinned.
"She's hot," Henry said and at least he'd stopped playing with himself.
"Miss Russet introduced us," Lisa giggled and I felt my face turning red as everyone turned to look at me.
"Miss Russet eh?" Daddy looked at me. "The hell's that mean, girl?"
"Uh, she's the school nurse, Daddy. She was at football practice the other day when Steve came by," I offered, knowing that wasn't what he was asking me.
"Miss Russet?" Scott smiled at me and I might have figured he'd know better.
"A cheerleader, is that cool or what?" David was elbowing Mark.
"She calls us that, the girls at school," I shrugged like it was no big thing.
"She's hot," Mark was nodding. "Nice pom-poms."
"Shut-up!" Greg hit Mark's arm. "You sound like Henry."
"What?" Henry frowned.
Lisa was preoccupied with Steve anyway and the center of all that male attention, so she wasn't going to say anything else that might incriminate us, I hoped, and then I started wondering if she'd told Steve about me and her. It was one thing to have sex with a girlfriend…I mean, before she was even my brother's girlfriend, but having sex with his wife? It seemed to me that would be a little harder to overlook, although I wasn't exactly certain what it meant. Although just the idea that I'd be seeing her a lot, like at Christmas and Thanksgiving, and birthdays, and probably every other day of the year…My head was spinning.
Lisa was gonna be my sister-in-law?
And my three of my best friends had fucked her too! I felt dizzy and I needed to sit down. I'd made it happen, me, I'd been the instigator. If Steve found out his brand new fiancé' had been gang-banged by me and my friends, he was gonna kill me! My friends too, maybe. I didn't figure it was going to matter that he hadn't known her at the exact time it had happened; the same freakin' day was probably close enough for him! It was like a nightmare, why couldn't they have met a few days earlier? Or why hadn't he waited like a year from now to propose? It would have been forgotten by then…Sorta.
"Are you okay?" David asked me.
He was closest to me and everyone else was talking to Steve and his new bride-to-be, congratulating them and generally having a good time, now that they were more awake. Daddy was even making a pot of coffee and smiling since I guess it was always sorta special when your oldest boy tells you he's getting married. And Lisa did look special, although nobody had explained the cheerleader outfit yet. She was smiling and talking happily, introducing herself and maybe even sobering up a little, although it was hard telling.
"Yeah, I just need to lie down I think," I'd forgotten all about my food still sitting in the microwave. I started leaving the kitchen and Steve called out to me.
"Hey Ann…Can you show Lisa where the bathroom is?" he asked me, telling Lisa to go ahead upstairs with me; that I'd show her where to go. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, like upstairs was a long ways away or something, but I guess that's what people do when they're in love.
Lisa followed me and I walked slowly, hoping she wouldn't trip or anything, but she was looking a little more steady anyway. When I'd first seen her come through the door she looked like she was ready to fall over. Maybe she just needed to move a little. I knew when I got buzzed it helped to keep my feet moving for some reason.
"I can't believe I'm getting married…" she was saying and I was nodding. "Steve's just so nice, so special…I love him so much!"
"Uh-huh…Uh-huh…" I just kept nodding until we reached the bathroom.
"Do you, um…" she licked her lips, smiling and blushing as usual. "Want to come in?" she giggled and I stared at her. "Miss Russet?"
"What?" I couldn't believe my ears. "Are you crazy? Steve's downstairs, everybody's awake!" I was whispering. "And stop calling me that!"
"He knows!" Lisa giggled again, taking my hands in hers as she stepped backwards into the dark bathroom, pulling me inside with her.
"You told him?" I know my eyes had to be as wide as they'd ever been in my life because my face hurt.
"Yeah," Lisa pushed the door shut, turning us around in the darkness so I think she was leaning against it, but it was hard to tell. All I knew was she was still holding my hands.
"About us?" I asked again, just because I was imagining my life ending.
"Of course," she was pulling me closer. "I've been thinking about you all night and when he asked me to marry him…" her voice was soft and then I felt her long blonde hair on my face. "I love both of you, Miss Russet." She was kissing me in the dark and I felt my body go stiff as she hugged me.
This wasn't happening, I told myself, and it was all some weird dream. This was what I deserved for going to bed so early without any dinner. I was dreaming and Lisa couldn't possibly be trying to have sex with me at two in the morning. Not in my own bathroom. Not after announcing that she was getting married to my oldest brother in the kitchen. Things like that don't happen. Not even to me!
"Mmmpphhh…" I was trying to push her away, but she was strong and just drunk enough not to realize I wasn't in the mood.
Lisa thought I was playing with her maybe and I could feel her tongue prying its way in between my lips. She was like a thousand times more aggressive than I'd ever seen her and that was freaking me out a little. It was déjà vu and I was thinking about Brian and wondering why everyone wanted to have sex with me all the time.
"I'm so glad we're going to be sisters, Miss Russet!" she breathed when our kiss finally broke and I swallowed nervously. "We can be together all the time now!"
She was trying to kiss me again and Lisa's hands had slid under my t-shirt, and one of them went even lower, down inside the back of my boxers so she could feel my bare, round butt. I turned my head and fumbled around the wall for the light switch, needing to see Lisa's face. She couldn't really mean everything she was saying, could she? She couldn't love me! She couldn't be with me all the time! It was just a game, a thing to do at school. I didn't know what it was, but it wasn't an all the time thing. She was getting married to Steve, not to me!
"Wait…Wait…Lisa…" I finally found the switch and the bathroom lit up brightly. "We can't do this anymore."
"Yes we can," she leaned back, smiling and nodding. "I told you, Steve knows," she giggled. "He said it was okay. That's why were up here so I can tell you. He told me to."
"He did?" I stared at her and she didn't seem nearly as falling down drunk as she had before. "He said it was okay for us to keep…Doing it?"
"He said he fucked you too," Lisa had her mouth next to my ear, breathing the words. "Your own brother fucking you…" she practically shivered with excitement. "That's so hot!"
I didn't want to believe her about my brother at all. Steve wouldn't have told her about us. He wouldn't have told anyone, but especially not her. Not the woman he was going to marry! Having sex with his sister was…Well, it was wrong, to most people. Not to me and not to Steve, but Lisa? She couldn't be serious. But how else would she know?
"You're drunk," I told her, as much for my benefit as hers, reminding us that this wasn't who she really was.
"Just a little," Lisa giggled. "I want to fuck you so bad!" she was moving her hand inside my boxers, bringing it around to the front. "Where's that big sexy cock of yours, Miss Russet?"
She really was like a changed person, totally different, and I had to get away from her. I didn't know if it was the alcohol or the fact that she was engaged to my brother, or if it was just some weird part of her personality that only came out at night, but it was making me nervous. That and the fact that any one of my brothers could find us like that at any second. Or my Daddy. My thoughts just kept getting worse and worse and I needed time to think. I needed to talk to Steve. I needed…I needed to get away from Lisa.
Just as I was trying to think of a way to do that, there was a knock at the door. "Lisa? Ann? Hey…It's me."
It was Steve and I breathed a little sigh of relief as I slipped away from the woman's grasp. But she kept a hand on my hip anyway, squeezing me gently as I opened the door, ready to drag Steve inside with us so he could explain what was going on. But he wasn't alone and my heart sank as the words died even before they reached my lips. Daddy was there too and Henry, who was always nosey anyway.
"Hey, Lisa's gonna spend the night, so you and her take my room, okay?" he gave our dad a little look and I guess it was Daddy's idea and not Steve's. "I'll sleep in your bed and Scott's gonna take the couch."
There wasn't anything I could do except agree. Daddy hadn't ever struck me as puritanical or whatever, but I guess he figured he'd at least try and set an example for the girl his son was going to marry. No hanky-panky under his roof, by golly. The thought almost made me laugh, but I was too busy with thinking other thoughts.
And so it was that less than ten minutes later Miss Haven and I were alone in Steve and Scott's bedroom with the door safely locked. Three seconds after that she was pulling me to one of the beds, Steve's naturally, although I think it was just a lucky guess on her part. And if I'd thought my life was complicated before, this was something else entirely!