Girl Fag 27
It was a long bike ride home and the night had gotten cold, but I didn't really notice it all that much. I was still warm inside after being with Brian. He'd been sort of a jerk, bringing his three stupid friends in the girls locker room, but I'd been a jerk too, telling the principal that Brian had touched me when he hadn't. So I couldn't really blame him for wanting some kind of revenge. I mean, the boy part of me understood it completely and the girl part, well she hadn't even noticed until later, until we'd kissed. I hadn't felt queer kissing Brian, not even a little bit. I hadn't even thought about it and I wondered if that was good or bad.
How come all this was happening to me right now though, I wondered as I pedaled my bike down the county road slowly. I mean, ever since that first time I'd had sex with my brother Steve it had been one thing after another, one person after another. It was like a dam had burst or something and it made me a little confused and even worried, sorta. Maybe I was a slut. But I didn't feel like a slut and I'd never worried about that before, so why now, after having sex with Brian? Maybe he thought I was a slut, I thought, and maybe that's why he wanted to go out with me. Wendy Eversman wouldn't suck his dick, I bet. She probably wouldn't even touch it and that made me feel good, sorta, but a little bad too cause I'd touched a lot of dicks. But I couldn't really be a slut, could I?
Only girls could be sluts, I thought, but then I remembered that Scott had told me fags could be sluts too. But I wasn't having sex with everybody. My brothers didn't count, did they? And Coach, well he was different, so he probably didn't count, and Lisa too. Having sex with her couldn't really make me a slut, especially since I was trying to hook her up with my brother, Steve. I'd had sex with Josh's cousin, Sandy, but I hadn't been looking for it and she'd seduced me, mostly. That couldn't count, right? And Kyle, we'd done it but he was my best friend and I knew we'd never do it again, so that didn't make me a slut. I'd been pretty slutty with Jane and Sherry though, but just for that one night and now Jane was my girlfriend and I didn't particularly want to have sex with Sherry again. That had been sort of special circumstances anyway. So a girlfriend couldn't count and that meant Julie didn't count either, and if Sherry didn't count…
Did having sex with Brian make me a slut? He was just one boy. If I'd had sex with his three friends too, well then, yeah, I'd have been a total slut. But I didn't and I really wanted Brian to be my boyfriend so, no, that didn't make me a slut either. It all seemed perfectly logical to me when I thought about it like that and I felt a great sense of relief. At least I didn't have to worry about being a slut! I was definitely not one of those, despite having sex with like eight guys, or maybe ten if you counted the strangers at rest area, and five girls over, Ummm…Two weeks? That sure seemed like a lot.
I was halfway home and I still had more worrying to do though. I had two girlfriends already, three if you counted Miss Haven, Lisa, which maybe she was and maybe she wasn't. I hadn't thought she was at first, but now I sorta did, but if Lisa and Steve started dating then, I guess she wouldn't be. I had a pretty good idea that they would want to date too, and seriously, since Steve was really good at getting girlfriends and Lisa was super hot, but it would sorta depend on if Steve liked her super submissive personality too. I had no idea about that and I sorta wished I could ask him, you know?
Anyway, having two girlfriends was nice for me, but it worried me now too. Jane wouldn't care if I saw Brian, I didn't think, as long as we stayed together. At least that's what she said. But Julie, I still didn't get what she thought of it despite her promises that she and Jane had come to some sort of arrangement. She'd made me promise that there wouldn't be any more girlfriends, and I was pretty sure that included boyfriends too. And Brian knew I was seeing Jane. I mean, everyone knew about me and Jane now, but we hadn't talked about it. He wouldn't want to share, I didn't think, since Brian didn't really strike me as the sharing kind, you know? He liked to get his way, since that was what he was used to. Once he found out about Julie he was probably going to make me choose between him and them. Just like Julie would. I was starting to understand that I couldn't have everything I wanted.
And then my friend Steve. Little Steve with his nice smile and that cute beauty mark at the corner of his mouth and his puppy dog eyes behind his glasses; what was I gonna do about him? I'd sort of been avoiding him by accident mostly, but that wouldn't last. In fact he was coming over that night, so I'd have to deal with it. I knew he liked me a lot and I liked him too, but I wasn't sure it was the same. I mean, I didn't really think about kissing him or anything, although maybe I would. Mostly I didn't really think about him at all, just cause I was pretty busy thinking about everybody else. But he had asked me out and I'd sort of said yes, but that was before I'd hooked up with Jane and Julie, otherwise I'd have said no, probably.
It didn't seem fair and my little 14 year old brain didn't have any idea what to do about any of it. Thinking about it didn't help though, that was for sure. All it had done was remind me how much trouble I was in and make me even more worried. I wished I was like three people, I thought, riding my big onto the big wide gravel drive that lead to the house and the garage. I shoulda been triplets maybe, then there would have been enough of me to go around, and who knows, maybe one of us would have liked being a girl. That sort of cheered me up and even made me giggle a little, which I really needed a lot!
"You're home late," my dad was in the kitchen and Greg was washing dishes. David was sitting at the table with the folder for that Cougar.
"Yeah. I sorta got some cramps," I made a face and dropped my backpack on the floor. I got some Tylenols out of the cabinet and took a couple with a glass of juice. I did have a little one too, but it wasn't bad like the kind I got at the beginning of my menses, and I was glad I had it since I knew it meant my period was almost done. I figured it was just my body rearranging itself a little now that I was all cleaned out inside, getting ready to give Brian a brand new egg to shoot for. And that thought seemed wicked and weird and almost made me choke on my juice.
I covered my mouth and Daddy looked at me.
"You okay?" he asked and I nodded. "Drink slower, you'll live a little longer."
"Yeah," I gasped and drank the rest of my juice carefully, wondering why that thought had crept into my brain and hoping it didn't show on my face.
Some people think I'm dumb for a couple reasons. Firstly, because I'm a mechanic, but you can't be dumb and be a good mechanic. It doesn't work like that. Another reason is that I'm blonde and reasonably attractive. Even though I had short hair when I was fourteen and dressed like a boy, people still knew I was already pretty and like it or not, someday I was probably gonna wake up beautiful. That sounds bad, like I'm all full of myself, but that's what other folks said, not me. I'd have been happy looking like a boy my whole life, even a pretty one. I've never been dumb though, not even when I was doing dumb things. If anything I was probably too smart for my own good and losing a few brain cells might have done me some good. I'd have spent less time worrying about everything else and just got on with my life, which was pretty much what I did anyway, to tell the truth. I just worried about it in my spare time.
Anyway, I was just about all worried out by the time I was sitting down at the table. But the trouble with having a real close family, if there is one, is that people can tell when you're being bothered by something, even when it's not really bothering you all that much anymore.
"There's some pork chops in the oven," Daddy was saying and he started fixing me a plate. "Everything okay?"
"Uh, yeah," I shrugged, knowing it wasn't the innocent question it sounded like.
"Matt called about half hour ago, looking for you," Daddy was warming up some gravy in the microwave for my potatoes. "But I guess he didn't have cramps."
So then I knew he just wanted to know the real reason I was almost an hour late coming home. There wasn't gonna be any avoiding it, so I sorta bit the bullet.
"I was talking with Brian Hades," I smiled, just a little. "I kinda owed him an apology, you know?"
"An apology?" David looked at me and grinned. "You did him a favor, Ann. His nose was way to small for his big head." Greg laughed at that and even Daddy smiled.
"Shut-up," I said, making a face at him.
"So you got it all straightened out then?" Daddy asked.
"Yeah, I don't know," I sighed and made another spontaneous decision, like always. "I think he wants to ask me out, kinda."
"Is that right?" the corners of Daddy's lips went down.
"After you kicked his butt?" Greg laughed some more.
"I guess some fellas like that in a girl," Daddy laughed too and I blushed a little.
"I just don't know if I should or not, I mean, um…" I shook my head. Daddy knew I had a girlfriend anyway, they all did, but it still woulda been weird talking about it. Probably for Daddy too, so we sorta let it drop.
"You ready to do that Merc?" David asked me and I nodded. "What time is your friend showing up?"
I glanced at the clock, it was just before eight. "I don't know, I figured he'd be here already," I shrugged and sat at the table as Daddy set the plate down in front of me. It was just warm, not really hot, and the pork chops were a little dry even with some gravy, but it was still good. I was starving.
"Jerry Stiles just left about half an hour ago. Him and his boy Wade started on the pantry. We moved all that junk out to the shed, so if you go lookin' for anything…" Daddy said, watching me eat.
"We?" Greg looked at Daddy and laughed. "You didn't move a damn thing, Pops!"
"Heh!" dad grinned. "Watch your cussin' and besides," he looked at me and winked, "I was supervising."
"I bet," I said with my mouth full and David was shaking his head. It was nice to be home, I thought.
"Anyway, gonna be some 20 foot by 13 or so, so you got a lot of room in there. Gonna put a big bay window where those old doors were and a little closet and a little bathroom."
"Okay, that'll be nice," I smiled, it sounded good to me.
"Or else you can have a bigger bathroom and no closet," Daddy shrugged. "Or a walk-in closet and no bathroom."
"I want a bathroom," I said. "And I guess a closet would be sorta handy."
"I figured that too," Daddy smiled. "But we gotta do the plumbing ourselves, Jerry don't do that stuff."
I shrugged. "I can do it. I'll get Craig Lawler to help me."
"Bring him round for an estimate," Daddy nodded.
I wasn't bad with plumbing, in fact I sorta liked it cause pipe fitting was easy, but I never tried piping a whole bathroom before either. Craig was a guy I knew, well we all knew him, but I mean I had helped him out with his Javelin a few times, which wasn't a bad car, but those old AMC's were gluttons for attention. His family owned Lawler Brothers Plumbing, up in Wilverness, so I figured he'd give me a hand so long as we got the materials from them.
"Nelson gonna do the wiring?" David asked.
"Yeah," Daddy nodded. "We just gotta keep him sober."
"Get him out here early then, before breakfast," Greg chuckled and dried his hands. "I heard he likes Blackjack pancakes."
"What's that?" I asked, finishing off my potatoes.
"Blackberry brandy in the batter and Jack Daniels in the coffee," Greg shook his head. "He's gonna be dead by the time he hits fifty."
"Gross!" I made a face.
Nelson was the only certified electrician in town and he liked to drink. He liked to drink a lot and he was a good drunk. Nelson was pretty funny and always doing silly harmless things, like sitting his 250 pound butt on a Styrofoam cooler for example, and then wondering why they don't make Styrofoam coolers like they used to. The bad thing was that nobody wanted him anywhere near live electricity when he was drunk, for obvious reasons, so that usually meant you had to roust him out of bed at sunrise and get him to work before he could find a bottle. Daddy was always saying one if us should get certified, not only cause it was good money, but it would save a lot of trouble when we needed some wiring done. Nobody liked waking up Nelson cause he tended to be a little cranky that time of day.
About the time I was finishing up my dinner, a car was pulling into the drive. Not just any car either, but a…
"Hey Pops, we got a Cuda outside. Looks stock too," Scott was saying and I hadn't even realized he was home. I guess he was on the internet or probably playing that game with the big cow maybe.
"Oh yeah?" my dad was out the kitchen door barefoot, not worrying much about the cold or the gravel, and David, Greg, and I were right behind him.
It wasn't just every day a 1970 Hemi Cuda pulled into your driveway, but that was the only make and model that would have gotten Scott's undivided attention. And if it was stock, then whoever was driving it was about to make a friend for life, cause chopping a car like that was like committing a mortal sin with your neighbor's daughter, according to my dad.
"That's a 426, Pops. Damned if it ain't!" Greg was saying and that engine was growling sweet until the guy finally killed it and the doors opened.
"Hey Ann!" my friend from school, Little Steve was getting out of the passenger side and behind him his sort of half step-sister, Carol Hahn, was getting out as well.
"Hi Greg," she smiled and gave my brother a little wave.
"Mr. Russet? I'm Dan Sawyer, been looking forward to meeting you," Steve's dad was shaking hands with my dad while Steve walked over to talk to me and Carol moved closer to Greg. Carol was being coy about it though, suggesting that maybe her daddy wasn't supposed to know they had a little romance blooming. Or it could be that the girl was just shy around my dad, it was hard telling.
"Nice to meet you, this here's my boys…" Dad was getting friendly too, since anyone with a Cuda was okay in his expert opinion.
"Why didn't you tell me your dad has a Cuda?" I slapped Steve's shoulder playfully. "Jesus."
"Um, I dunno," the boy shrugged. "It's just a car. Kinda noisy."
I stared at him like he'd just said the world was shaped like red. It made no sense whatsoever.
"You like it? All original, except for a few little additions," Steve's dad was justifiably proud. "I've had it since I was 19, my first real car and it was a mess!"
"Got the original three fifty four transmission?" Scott asked, desperately wanting to pop the hood, I could tell.
"Yep, but I had to pull it off a '66 Satellite, you believe that? Some guy wrapped the front end around a goddamn buffalo out in Montana. Only thing left was the tranny and the rear end."
"Thrashed the motor?" Daddy looked like he'd just lost a child to the pox.
"Snapped the block, I looked at it myself," Mr. Sawyer shook his head sadly. "Go ahead and pop the top, hey uh, maybe you could help me out with something. The turbocharger starts to wind and dies like three seconds later…Just started doing that the other day."
"Sounds like some off-boost," I said and Daddy nodded while Scott popped the hood.
"Off-boost huh?" he looked at me, and not just with interest in what I was saying either. "Exhaust problem? Hose maybe?"
He wasn't looking at me curiously either, not the way most new people I met did, like they were trying to decide if I was really a boy or a girl. Mr. Sawyer was looking at me like he was interested in seeing what I looked like naked and finding out for himself. It made me a little shy and a lot of nervous. I blushed a little and glanced at my dad, but he only had eyes for that car.
"Yeah," I nodded, clearing my throat a little and looking at him again out of politeness. "Well, no, not a hose. Probably a bad exhaust seal, giving out just a bit higher than your turbo…"
"So the charger starts and then the seal gives and you lose it, the turbo stops spinning," Scott added. "Start it up and we'll take a look…Can we go for a spin?"
"Yeah, Scott, right? Keys are in the ignition, take her out," Mr. Sawyer gave a little jerk of his head towards the highway. "I've heard about you…Annie Russet," he was smiling at me, speaking gently.
"Dad…" Little Steve said softly, like he didn't want to be embarrassed.
"I saw an article in Street Muscle, about that '70 Chevelle you built…"
Scott was smiling and giving Daddy a little nod. He was gonna see what that car would do, even without the turbocharger working right. And Daddy had sort of excused himself, walking over and leaning inside as Scott got comfortable behind the wheel.
"Uh, yeah," I looked at Mr. Sawyer, nodding and trying to think of something to say. No man had ever looked at me the way he was, not even Coach, not really. "That was um, the Super Sport."
I'd had a lot of help with that car, but the article had made it sound like I'd done it all. Sorta like the Prodigy article and my brother's had been a little annoyed cause there were like five pictures of me alone with the car, including the center fold, and just one of my brothers, all together in front of our garage. It was sorta small too.
"Yeah, with the 454 right?" Mr. Sawyer licked his lips. "You know, you should come by sometime and take a look around my garage. It's nothing like this, but, well I've got a couple little projects and…"
Mr. Sawyer looked a lot like his son, Steve, except he was older. He was slim, but not skinny and he had a nice face, sort of angular with high cheek bones and full lips. He sort of looked like a girl, almost, but there was nothing else feminine about him, that was for sure. He had black hair, combed straight back and a little long, like '50's style, you know? And sideburns too so he looked like one of those rockabilly guys. He must have been kinda wild as 19 year old, I thought, running around in his Cuda and picking up girls. Maybe he still did, cause he didn't really act like a father to my mind.
"Dad, I think Ann's dad wants you," Little Steve was sort of pointed at my dad who didn't seem to need Mr. Sawyer for anything. Scott was revving the engine and Daddy was smiling and nodding.
"Uh, okay," Mr. Sawyer took a quick look, and then fixed his eyes on me. "Maybe we could even take the Cuda out for a spin, if you wanted to."
"Ummm…Yeah, sure," I shrugged, feeling really weird talking to Steve's dad like that. Was he hitting on me? Right in front of everybody, even his own son? It felt like it and my tummy twitched, just a little.
"Great!" he held out his hand like we'd just made some sort of deal and I took it nervously, suddenly worrying if I had sweaty palms or not. It was silly.
His hand was warm and dry and he held mine gently, but tightly, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb until it became almost uncomfortable and I was blushing again.
Daddy gave Mr. Sawyer the big tour, while me and David walked around with Steve, sort of giving him the smaller, cooler version. Stevie didn't know crap about cars though, which was disappointing and I wondered what was wrong with his dad. I mean anyone with a car like that…Well, Little Steve should have had a wrench grafted to his hand. It felt like I did sometimes.
"Where'd Greg go?" I wondered aloud and David laughed.
"He's giving that chick a tour of the house," David looked at Steve. "No offense man, but your sister is hot."
"Yeah, I guess," Steve smiled, but he probably heard that a lot. "I know a hotter one though," he glanced at me and I rolled my eyes.
"So this is the Cougar…" I said, and we were standing in the painting shed. "We already got the primer and the first base coat, were gonna do another base, the real one, and then the emblems and all that stuff, some pin striping, and then we're gonna throw some high gloss clear coat on top."
"Uh, okay," Steve looked around like he was expecting something. "Where's your paint brushes and stuff?" David laughed and shook his head. "What?" Steve asked him, feeling somewhat foolish maybe.
"We don't use brushes," I explained and spent the next ten minutes giving him a quick lesson in the fine art of custom automobile painting.
"So why do you like me so much anyway?" I asked Little Steve, cause that was how I'd started thinking about him. My voice was a bit muffled through my mask, and the sprayer was hissing and the air compressor chugging softly outside, but it was still easy to talk.
David had gone out for a quick smoke break that had turned into a long one. I figured that he probably wanted to check out that Cuda with Scott and my dad. That was okay though, Little Steve was a bit nervous around my brothers, I thought. He was sitting on a low footstool, out of the way and just watching me work.
"I told you about that," Steve shrugged and he was wearing a mask too, of course. "I just think you're really cool."
"Yeah but you don't like cars, you don't play football, ummm…What do you do?" I laughed a little and I hoped I didn't make him mad or anything, I was really curious.
"I like baseball," he said a little defensively. "And, um…I like reading books and stuff, hanging out. I dunno, why? Do I have to like cars so you'll like me?"
"No," I stepped around the car, spraying slowly, taking my time.
"I like the way you look," Steve said a minute later. "I guess that's what I like the most." He sounded a little embarrassed, but maybe that was more nerves, it was hard to tell under his mask.
"I look like a boy."
"Yeah, um…I told you I had a girlfriend, Monica. She looked sorta like a boy too," Little Steve told me, and I remembered when we'd talked that first day when we'd met and he'd told me about her.
"And everybody gave you a hard time," I shook my head like he should have known better or something.
I guess I was just feeling confused right then, you know? I mean with love and romance and all that stuff. Brian had surprised me and what we'd said and done filled my head with possibilities, but I was having a hard time finding room in my life for Stevie. I couldn't deny that what he was telling me was interesting, I liked it, and I liked him, but maybe I didn't want to like him though. Or I just didn't want the problems that I imagined liking him might bring.
"Yeah. So? I didn't care, she was my girlfriend," Steve said, sounding like I shouldn't care either.
"So if I was your girlfriend you wouldn't care if all the guys called you a fag?" I asked him.
"No, cause I ain't a fag."
"What if I am?" I said, just being sort of mean and I regretted it.
"What do you mean?" he looked at me sharply.
"Nothing," I sighed and concentrated on my painting.
"I thought you liked me?" Steve was looking down.
"I do like you, come on," I made a face, but that was sorta pointless under the mask.
"Yeah, but not like I want you to," Stevie had sort of a direct way of speaking and I liked it.
"How do you want me to like you?" I asked with a little laugh. "You don't know, maybe this is just the way I am with everybody."
"No," he shook his head slowly, "you weren't like this last week."
Last week seemed like a very long time ago to me right then, but I couldn't explain that to Steve. Heck, I couldn't even explain it to me. I'd been through so much so fast that if I stopped to think about all of it all at once I'd probably go crazy. I had to look at my life in little pieces, and sometimes those pieces didn't really fit with all the other ones, like Little Steve. He was sort of in limbo for me. I had no idea what we were doing.
"I don't know," I shrugged. "You know I got a girlfriend, right?"
"Uh, sorta…That Jane girl, right?"
"Yeah, but I really got two of them. There's a girl named Julie too and I like her a lot," I didn't know why I was trying so hard to get Steve not to like me.
"Monica had girlfriends too," Steve said quietly. "She never really told me, but I knew about it."
I had my back to him and it was a good thing cause I was rolling my eyes, wondering if maybe he didn't want me just cause he missed her. I mean, this Monica sounded like my twin sister or something. And then I had the thought that maybe he was just making her up, sort of trying to prove something to me. I didn't know what though, and it was just sort of weirding me out.
"You got her phone number?" I asked Little Steve, although I couldn't imagine really calling his old girlfriend. Like I needed a reference or something? How ridiculous was that?
"Uh, yeah," he said slowly. "Why?"
"I just wondered," I was getting close to finished with that base black. "You still talk to her?"
"Sometimes."
"You tell her about me?" I was sort of teasing him, but kind of serious too.
"Uh, well, yeah…a little," Stevie admitted.
"Really?" I almost stopped spraying, but that's sort of a bad thing. Not like horrible bad, but it throws off the rhythm, I didn't like stopping at all.
"Yeah," Steve nodded. "She uh, she sort of wanted to talk to you, but I said you were pretty busy." He laughed nervously, "I mean I couldn't even call you for a couple days there."
"Monica wants to talk to me?" I sort of blinked at that. But I was the one who'd brought up the subject, asking about her phone number, right? We couldn't be so much alike that we had the same thoughts. That was weird too and I might have felt a chill, but I didn't really believe in any psychic stuff.
"Yeah, it's okay though, you don't have to," Steve said quickly and I knew he wasn't making this girl up. I'd heard my brothers lie a thousand times, and Steve was lying…But not about her.
"Why don't I have to?" I asked, meaning why didn't he want me to?
"I don't, uh…I just mean, you know, you don't have to if you don't want to."
"You brought her up, man," I laughed and finished the car with a satisfied smile. My arm was a little sore, my wrist too, but not too bad. My fingers used to get really bad, practically going numb until I figured out I didn't have to hold the gun so tight, in fact it was best to barely squeeze it at all. But I flexed my fingers just the same, just cause they did get a little stiff.
I had put the gun down and started the conveyer, like two tracks on the floor about 18 inches wide each and spaced far enough apart for a car's wheels to sit on. Generally we had the cars on blocks for painting, like that Merc was just then, but you get the idea. The conveyer moved the car from one part of the shop to the other. Now it was going into the drying room. I hit the big blowers, now that I was done painting and the car was safely in the other room.
"Give me her phone number tomorrow and I'll think about if I'm gonna call her or not," I looked at Steve and he was looking down, unhappily in my opinion. "Hey, what's she gonna say that I won't like, huh?" I teased him.
"I dunno," he shrugged and that made me wonder if there wasn't something she might say that would bother me. I decided to just drop the subject. Stevie needed some attention to cheer him up and I was feeling bad for bringing him down, he didn't deserve it at all.
"Aww, come on," I moved closer to him, Little Steve really did look like a lost puppy. "You can take your mask off now anyway," I said, removing mine and licking my lips. The masks weren't bad, but they sorta dried out a person's mouth.
Steve took off his mask and pushed his glasses up his nose. He didn't wear them all the time, but I didn't ask what the deal was. They weren't very thick anyway, maybe he just didn't need them everyday, but they did sorta make him look smart.
"You wanna wrestle?" I grinned at him, trying to coax a smile from my friend.
"Huh?" That at least got him looking up, "In here?"
"Sure," I laughed, the room was empty now, and the floor was rubber diamond tread, which was sorta uncomfortable, but kinda soft and pretty clean except for some paint stains. "We'll make a bet…"
"What bet?" and he was smiling, just a little.
"Um, I don't know," I shrugged. "How about if I win, you gotta do something for me, and if you win, uh, I'll do something for you?" I really didn't think he could win, to tell the truth.
"Do what?" Steve grinned up at me from that stool he'd been sitting on. "Like go out with me?"
"What?" I laughed, "No, it's gotta be something we can do here, right away."
"Uh, sure okay," he nodded and I pulled Steve to his feet.
"You ready? No biting or kicking or anything, right?"
"Yeah," Steve said and we moved a little towards the middle of the paint room.
"And watch out for the conveyers, it sorta hurts if you fall on one of those," I warned him.
"I better take off my glasses," Steve said and I waited until he'd set them down. "Okay, um, I'm ready."
We sorta circled each other, smiling and giggling with our hands up and our bodies low, kind of hunched over a little. After a minute of that, when it didn't seem like Steve wasn't gonna try anything, I went for him, trying to circle his neck with my left arm and get him in a headlock. But Steve was quick and he ducked under it, stepping behind me and wrapping his arms around my body, just under my small boobs. He was laughing and so was I, just cause I figured I'd have had him down by then. He was squeezing me and trying to hook my feet with his right leg so he could trip me and force me down.
I sorta have to admit that I did let him win. Although I wrestled him tough for a good five minutes, and there were some real chances I had to get loose, but I didn't take them. Once he had his arms around me and I could sense his happiness at just holding me, even in a little wrestling match, I knew I needed to give him something. Little Steve was so sweet and so vulnerable, despite his cockiness around school and apparent confidence. I kinda wanted to see what he'd do with me too, you know? I was tired of deciding stuff all the time.
Steve finally got me tripped up, wrapping his leg around mine and forcing me down slowly with him more or less on top of me. He was still hugging me and we sort of rolled a little, and I twisted, and we were both breathing hard and giggling until I somehow managed to end up flat on my back with Steve sitting heavily on my stomach, but it wasn't really uncomfortable like that, I had a strong tummy and Steve wasn't all that heavy.
He held my arms, gripping my wrists and pushing them up above my head so he was leaning over me, his face close to mine and we were both grinning when he suddenly kissed me, just a little one on my mouth.
"Hey!" I protested, giggling up at him.
"You give?" he breathed and I shook my head.
"You didn't win yet!" I told him and I pushed up against his grip with my arms and rolled over quickly, so that in just a few seconds I was on top of him. Funny how quickly my mind can change about stuff. I guess it comes from having all those brothers. I just didn't want to lose to a kiss stealin' boy like him.
Little Steve was still holding my wrists, and his legs were scissored around my hips, squeezing me, and my pelvis was up against his crotch, like we were having sex almost, except I was the boy and he was the girl. The position we were in was pretty much turning me on actually and it must have been my period, or so I kept blaming everything on, but I probably would have got horny anyway wrestling like that. We were hot and sweating under our coveralls and clothes and I thought about how cool it might have been to do this naked.
I kissed him real quickly, the way he'd kissed me and I giggled at him.
"Say uncle!" I demanded and Steve shook his head. I jammed my pelvis against his crotch, just cause my clit was sort of waking up and I wanted some pressure there, but with our everyday clothes plus those coveralls, we had a lot of padding between us. But still, Steve gave a little gasp of surprise when he felt me grinding myself against him like that. It was unmistakably sexual and he swallowed hard.
"What are you gonna make me do?" he asked softly, looking into my eyes.
"Do you give?" I asked and his legs tightened around me, like he was pulling me harder against him.
"Y-Yeah…I give…" he was smiling.
I really hadn't planned on winning though and I didn't know what I was gonna have him do, that was the problem. But I knew I didn't really want to move either, I mean it felt really good like that, in the missionary position with a cute boy underneath me, dry humping him like he was a girl. If anything could feed my queer boy sense of who I was, this was definitely it. I wished I'd had my strap-on right then, Stevie would have been in for a real shock then maybe!
"Is your dick hard?" I whispered, just out of the blue and I was a little surprised at myself, but not as surprised as Steve was.
"Wha…What?" he blushed furiously and closed his eyes and it gave me a rush, like the same kind being with Lisa gave me.
"This is what you gotta do," I giggled. "Answer my questions, whatever I ask, okay? And no lying either, if you lie then I'm…I dunno, but it'll be bad."
Steve nodded and drew a deep breath. "Yeah," he whispered.
"Yeah what?"
"My dick is uh, hard," he admitted and I rubbed myself against him, but I couldn't tell for sure.
"Do you jerk off?" I asked him and my tits were burning up with excitement, my nipples ready to pop it seemed.
"Yeah. Sometimes," Little Steve was breathing a bit harder and I could see his wet pink tongue wiggling between his parted lips.
"Look at me," I demanded softly, since his eyes were still closed and I wanted to see them. Steve opened his eyes reluctantly and he was licking his lips, rubbing himself against me a little. "What do you think about when you jerk off?"
"Oh, no…Please…" Steve was frowning and his face was seriously red.
"You gotta tell me!" I said quietly, but my voice was stern. "What do you think about?"
"You," he blinked and looked away from me.
"What am I doing when you cum?" I asked, feeling my sex spasm a little and I knew I was getting wet down there.
"I can't tell you, okay?" he looked at me, practically pleading.
"Why not?" I asked, not really wanting to torture him, since this was supposed to be fun for both of us.
"Cause uh, maybe you won't…" he swallowed thickly, "…You might not like it."
"But I might like it, right?" I laughed and kissed him. "I promise I won't get mad, okay? I swear."
I didn't think Little Steve was gonna tell me, and maybe he shouldn't. I mean, a person's fantasies, like the real private ones, should probably remain secret. Especially from the person they involve, right? I guess if you're older and married and stuff then it's probably okay to tell your husband or wife what you like the most, but maybe not. I wasn't sure. But I was definitely horny and hot and curious, so my concern for Steve's ego was kind of forgotten anyway.
"I'll kiss you if you tell me," I whispered. "Really kiss you, for as long as you want."
"You might not want to," he whispered and I wondered what could be so terrible that he'd be this worried about it. I mean, sucking his dick? Having sex with him? If those were what he was thinking about when he jerked off it wasn't gonna bother me at all.
"You gotta trust me, Stevie," I said gently, but if he could trust me, then why was I forcing him to tell me something he didn't want to? I tried not to think about that. "If you wanna be my boyfriend, you have to tell me everything."
"Your boyfriend?" he looked at me and probably I shouldn't have said that the way it sounded, cause he wasn't my boyfriend yet and telling me wasn't gonna make him my boyfriend either.
"Maybe, someday, but not ever if you don't trust me," I said, and that did make me feel guilty cause I was using his trust against him. But all's fair in love and war, right? Probably not.
"Alright," he closed his eyes again, but I didn't say anything. "Mostly, um, I think about you and me, uh…Sorta like this."
"What, wrestling?" I laughed a little, like I didn't believe him.
"Uh, yeah, well um…We sort of wrestle, but we're um, naked," he was blushing again. "And you, um…You beat me and pin me down, like this kinda."
Steve was panting hard and rubbing his crotch against me faster, like he was making love to me. His breathing was ragged too and his hands were still holding my wrists tightly, squeezing me in time with his thrusts and I pushed my own sex against him, wishing I could feel his cock against my clit.
"What's so bad about that?" I smiled at him. "It's nice right?"
"Y-Yeah…" he groaned a little and it occurred to me that he might be close to cumming. "But, um…"
"What?" I asked rubbing myself against him harder, meeting his thrusts with my own. "What else? You can tell me, come on…" I was breathing hard too.
"But when you're naked…" he had his eyes shut tightly and made some little grunts in between his words. "You have a…a…dick too," he whispered and then he was cumming, just like that, as soon as his secret was out.
Steve moaned softly, or more like a long uneven sigh, and he was grinding his crotch against me hard, letting go of my wrists finally and reaching down to pull my ass hard against him. I was grinding too and it felt so good. I dropped my body to his, pressing my aching breasts against his thin 13 year old chest and kissed him, my mind still trying to catch up with what he'd just told me.
I have a cock in his dreams? And not just that, but he had to fight a little, struggle against me and then after he'd lost, that was when it was really good. I was fucking him with my cock like he was a girl or something. Little Steve was a fag. I knew it right then, like he had to be! He just didn't want to admit it. He wanted to fight it and have a reason for being queer. When he got beat and forced to have sex with another boy, that was his excuse. And probably that was why he liked me so much, because being with me was like being with a boy, except he wouldn't ever have to take that last step that proved he was a fag. I didn't have a dick, so…Yeah, I was perfect for Stevie.
All that flashed through my head quickly and clearly. It was one of the few things I'd come to understand over the last few weeks that really did make sense and it was like a kick to my head. I saw stars and I was kissing Steve hard, forcing my tongue into his mouth, licking and exploring him frantically while he squeezed my ass through my coveralls and tried to rub his cock against my throbbing clitoris.
I was cumming too, my body shaking and my lungs burning as we kissed. I didn't want to stop, I couldn't. I'd have rather died from lack of air than stop kissing Stevie right then. My tender nipples were rubbing themselves raw under my clothing and my clit was so sensitive it was like someone was using a jackhammer on it, even under all of my clothes and my soaked pad. I was dizzy and thrilled and overwhelmed by the orgasm Steve's secret was giving me and I never wanted it to stop.
"Holy shit," David's voice echoed through the big empty garage, but even that wasn't quite enough to bring me back to reality.
Little Steve was moving though, panting and blushing and getting out from under me so that I lost my balance and that finally woke me up a bit and I looked around, gasping like I'd just run a three minute mile. My crotch was soaked and if I hadn't been wearing coveralls David would have seen a big dark stain spreading across my jeans.
"Holy shit!" David said again, just in case we hadn't heard him the first time. "Did you guys, uh…Are you okay?" and he was laughing at us.
Poor Little Steve didn't know what to do. His pants were full of sperm and he'd gotten caught having sex with David's sister, and David was sorta big, especially compared to Steve. And even if it wasn't really sex, since we weren't naked or anything, it was still sorta sex. Steve fumbled for his glasses, maybe figuring David wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, I don't know.
"We were wrestling," I managed to breathe.
"Yeah, um, I can tell," David grinned at me and then looked at Steve a little more seriously. "Good thing you kept your clothes on, dude. I might have figured you were doin' something else with my little sister. You know what I mean?"
"We were just wrestling," Steve said in a guilty voice.
"Anyway, your dad said it's time to go home so, um, you wanna keep the coveralls on?" David couldn't resist teasing Steve. "Don't wanna make a mess in that Cuda, man."
Steve looked down quickly, humiliated even more since David apparently knew he'd cum in his pants.
"Leave him alone," I started getting up, "Tell his dad he'll be out in a minute or something."
"Yeah, yeah," David giggled and waved over his shoulder at us.
"Don't worry," I walked over to Steve, feeling my pussy all squishy between my damp thighs. "David's cool, he ain't gonna care."
"You sure?" Steve tried to smile. "He looked kinda mad."
"What?" I laughed and kissed Steve on the cheek. "He wasn't mad, believe me. Come on, um…We gotta get you out of those coveralls."
Thankfully you couldn't really tell that Steve had shot a load of sperm in his underwear, at least his pants didn't show anything. But he did walk a little funny and I guessed it wasn't really comfortable for him. It wasn't comfortable for me either, and I was so wet that I knew my pants were stained, so I kept my coveralls on. I just hoped nobody could really smell me too much, cause I knew once I was juicing there was a definite scent down there, musky and pungent and unmistakable.
I sort of kept some distance between me and everyone else as Mr. Sawyer and his kids were leaving. I needed to wash my pussy and change my pad badly, so David said he'd get everything ready for the rest of the painting. It didn't take long for the paint to dry once the heaters were on. My brother was smiling at me while we talked, but he didn't say anything about what he'd caught me and Little Steve doing.
I went up to my room, the one I shared with Henry and Greg, and it smelled like sex. I mean it was strong! And Greg's bed was all messed up, with sheets half on the floor, pillows scattered around. And Greg was just coming back from the shower as I was grabbing a fresh pad from under my bed. I needed to get more, I told myself. I'd used more pads during this period than I'd ever used before. Usually one a day and one at night was fine for me, but I'd been going through them like 3 or 4 a day, all cause of sex.
"What happened in here?" I looked at Greg, wet and handsome as hell and all wrapped up in his towel.
"Uh, we had a pillow fight," Greg grinned at me. "Me and Carol."
"You had sex with Carol? Here?" I stared at him wide-eyed, although I'd been pretty sure that was what had happened when I first walked in. Still, hearing my brother admit it was a little more shocking.
"Yeah, kinda," he shrugged.
"Man, her dad was right downstairs!" I shook my head. "You're crazy!"
"She wanted to do it; she's the one who's crazy," Greg dropped his towel and I looked at his cock, dark flaccid and hanging between his legs. "That girl bangs!"
"She's not the one who'd get the ass kicking!" I laughed at him. "Well, least you could do is clean this place up. Spray some Lysol or something, it smells too." I was sorta bitching, but only cause giving my brother a hard time made me feel like a hypocrite. I mean I'd been doing pretty much the same thing with Carol's brother, hadn't I?
David and I finished the Mercury and I spent some time on the phone with Julie first and then Jane, missing both of them a lot, and not mentioning Brian Hades at all. I was trying to stay up so I could talk to my brother, Steve, when he got home and find out how his little dinner date had gone with Lisa. But around 1:30 in the morning, hanging up the phone with Jane, I couldn't take it anymore. I was dead tired and my alarm was going off at five.
"Well, Miss Russet," Coach said sarcastically. "I'm so glad you could make it this morning." It was almost quarter after six and I would have killed for more sleep.
"Sorry Coach," I said, getting ready for my stretches.
"Late night with the boys?" Coach shook his head. "Or were you working on some new plays with Coach Haven? Oh, excuse me, I mean Lisa."
I started wondering if he was really mad at me and I stretched a little extra just in case he was, like that would make a difference or something.
"I had to paint a Merc last night…" I sighed as I spread my legs a half inch farther than I'd ever spread them before. It really burned my muscles good. "Ahhh…Cougar for the WSU booster guys."
"Oh yeah?" Coach nodded. "I reckon that's a good excuse," Coach rubbed his jaw and finally gave me a smile, like he'd been messing with me the whole time.
Later on I was tempted to stop by Nurse Haven's office, but her door was locked and somebody said she'd called in sick. I sort of wondered about that and then I wondered if Steve had ever made it home last night. I hadn't seen him that morning, but that wasn't unusual. I was up and gone before most of my brothers woke up anyway.
My big problem came at lunchtime, and I sort of thought it would, but I hoped it wouldn't. I'd had classes with my friends all morning, except for study hall. I mean, sometimes with Lance, sometimes with Matt or John, and that was normal cause we were all in the eighth grade anyway and it wasn't that big of a school. But I also had classes with Brian Hades, whom I'd mostly tried to ignore before, or at least pretend to ignore so he wouldn't know I was thinking about him sometimes. But now I couldn't ignore him and he wasn't ignoring me either. We were always looking at each other, and smiling a little, and of course my friends wanted their attention too, but I wasn't really giving it.
Then lunchtime. Matt and Lance and John were already sitting down and I was in line with my friend Little Steve, which had become normal over the last few days, and there was Brian, sitting with his friends and watching me. I knew he wanted me to sit with him and I sort of wanted to, but I had to sit with my friends. Brian didn't like Matt or Lance and they didn't like him, so it wasn't like Brian would want to sit with us. It was sort of frustrating, you know? All I could do was hope Brian would understand when I gave him a smile and put my plastic tray on the table next to John's.
"Hey, you gonna come over Friday night?" John asked me, first thing.
"We're gonna get some cool movies, dude!" Lance grinned.
It was the usual Friday night sleepover and it was John's turn and they had every reason to expect I'd be going, except I wasn't. Friday night Jane and I were going to Julie's house for a little sleepover of our own.
"Umm…" I shrugged.
"What does that mean?" Lance was looking at me. "Zombie movies, man. Come on, you gotta come!"
"I don't think I can," I bit my bottom lip a little.
"Yeah you can, hey bring this guy, he's cool," Matt pointed at Steve. "You wanna sleepover at John's? We're gonna get some movies and pizza and race, man."
"Race?" Steve asked, but he was smiling and glad to be included, even if it was maybe only so I'd come along.
"He's got this awesome racing thing…" Lance started to explain.
"Slot cars and a huge track," I said. "It's pretty cool."
"…and it like takes up half the garage, dude!" Lance was grinning, he liked racing a lot.
"Uh, yeah, I'll ask my mom," Steve nodded. "You're going right?" he looked at me.
"Nah, I really can't. I sort of promised I'd go to Beaverton with Jane," I said, sort of wishing I had a reason other than that.
"You're going out with Jane?" John asked me and he swallowed. "Hudson?"
"Yeah, she's my girlfriend," I laughed, since everyone already knew that.
"Yeah," John said, and the rest of the guys were sort of nodding, but not exactly happily.
"Come on," I said, chiding them just a little. "Next Friday, okay? I promise, where we gonna do it at?"
"Um, my house I guess." Lance shrugged. "We didn't do anything last Friday cause, uh…"
He didn't have to say anything. Last week everyone had been sorta mad at me, and Kyle too, a little. Anyway, they understood why I couldn't sleep over with them. I mean, any one of those guys would have traded a lot more than just a Friday night of zombie movies and slot car racing for a night with Jane Hudson. They were seriously in lust with her, except for Little Steve. He was seriously in lust with me.
"Okay, I'll be there, alright?" I smiled at them and they smiled a little too, shrugging and forgiving me for standing them up so I could date the hottest girl in town.
"So what are you and Jane gonna do?" Matt asked me, cause they all wanted to know that.
"Oh, the usual," I grinned like the usual meant the dirtiest thing they could think of.
"Do you kiss her, dude?" Lance leaned across the table.
"Of course," I laughed. "She's good at it too."
"Oh man," Matt rolled his head on his shoulders.
"Do you like, um, touch her and stuff?" John whispered.
"I ain't gonna tell you guys!" I waved at him a little. "Think about all the stuff you'd do with her…" I nodded slowly as their eyes widened a little, "…and that's what I'm gonna be doing." I sat back with a theatrical sigh, like I was the luckiest guy on the planet, which I definitely wasn't, cause Steve was right next to me and he looked pretty down.
"God," John said softly.
"You know what I'd do?" Matt grinned at Lance and leaned close to whisper something in his ear.
"Hey, you got it?" I asked Steve softly, putting my hand on his thigh just to make sure he knew I hadn't forgot about him.
"What? Oh, um, yeah," he nodded and grabbed a notebook out of his bag on the floor, tearing out a page. It was a lot of paper for just a telephone number.
"What's that?" John looked at us. Matt and Lance were still whispering and giggling about Jane.
"Nothing," I shook my head and folded it up, sticking the paper in the pocket of my green Texaco shirt, the one with Russet stitched on it and a big red star patch.
"When, um…When are you gonna call her?" Steve asked me.
"I dunno, I gotta think about it some," I rubbed his leg some more and leaned close to his ear. "You have any good dreams last night?" I teased him.
Little Steve jerked his head a little and his face turned red.
"What are you two talkin' about?" Matt asked, grinning at Steve's blushing face.
"Nothing," I shook my head and smiled. "What were you and Lance talking about?"
"Nothing," Matt laughed.
"He was saying he wants to bun your girlfriend!" Lance giggled and Matt hit him in the arm.
"You wanna bun my girlfriend?" I laughed. "I'd have to beat you up if you did that, man."
"What's bun mean?" Steve asked, relieved that the topic had changed, I think.
"Butt fucking, dude," Lance grinned and jerked out of the way as Matt tried to hit him in the shoulder again. "Missed me, dude!"
"She's got a nice butt," John said, nodding his head.
"When did you ever see it?" I grinned at him.
"Uh, well, never," John admitted and his face got a little pink too.
"Duh!" Matt shook his head.
"But, I think about it…" John said, defending himself and that's the way lunch went.
Brian finally caught up with me just before art class. He was going to math class just a couple doors down and he pulled me by the arm so we were standing close by the lockers.
"You wanna skip out?" he asked me quietly.
"What, right now?" I looked at the kids walking by us and lowered my voice. "I'm already here, the teacher saw me."
"So? Just tell her you gotta go to the bathroom, like in ten minutes, okay? I'll meet you downstairs by the drinking fountain," he was smiling down at me. He was so much bigger than me. God, but I liked it.
"Okay," I said, feeling that funny thrill of doing something you weren't supposed to.
"Okay," Brian grinned. "Ten minutes."
The drinking fountain was between the boy's and girl's bathrooms and I saw Brian there waiting for me. The hallways were empty, but I still felt nervous, just a little, cause skipping a class would get me a trip to the woodshed for sure.
"Hey," I smiled at Brian. "What are we gonna do?"
"I don't know," he laughed softly.
"You don't know?" I rolled my eyes and giggled. "We can't stand here too long."
"I know, let's go to the music room," he suggested.
"No way, it's right next to Mr. Thornberg's office," he was the school counselor and substitute history teacher and he was kind of a dick. If he saw us we'd be done for.
"Uh, okay," we stood there for half a minute. "Let's go in here," Brian nodded his head at the boy's bathroom.
"What?" I looked at him like he was crazy.
"Come on," Brian grinned. "Nobody's gonna know."
"If I get caught…"
"You ain't gonna get caught," Brian was tugging at my hand and for some reason I was giggling and letting him pull me into the boy's bathroom against all of my better judgment. I could probably guess why.