Rachael Ross Archives - For Internal Use Only

Girl Fag 14

 

I had to get to Beaverton to see Julie and Greg had to take me. We'd promised Mark and David though, no more fooling around, but what our older brothers didn't know…And if it seemed weird, me trading a blowjob with a boy for an opportunity to hook up with a girl, well, that was me all over, wasn't it?

"Okay!" I hissed. "Alright, I'll do it. I'm gonna change clothes, then we'll go."

"Good," Greg grinned and started putting his books away while I ran to my room wondering what I was going to wear.

I didn't have a lot of time to worry about it so I just put on some decent brown corduroys and a clean white t-shirt that said 'Hyperformance' on the front with a big piston on the back. I ran wet fingers through my hair, but there wasn't much I could do with it anyway, and grabbed my Mariners warm-up jacket. I looked pretty much like I had the first time I'd met Julie, two days before – a fourteen year old boy. I hoped she'd still like me.

"So what's the deal?" Greg was asking me. We were riding in his '71 Barracuda that he'd just gotten a month before on his 16th birthday, the same day he'd gotten his license. I was going to be 15 in a month and a half and I couldn't wait, at least I'd be driving then…Under adult supervision, of course, but that was better than nothing.

"What?" I looked and Greg. "I met this girl, Julie, the other night when I was out with Kyle. She thought I was a guy and gave me her phone number."

"But I thought you were a guy," Greg laughed. "Inside, right? But you only like guys so…Nevermind." Greg was just teasing me, but he was curious too.

"Well, yeah. But I dunno, I sort of liked her too, so…" I shrugged.

"You think she's queer?" Greg looked at me for a second.

"No," I didn't think she was.

"Sooooo…" Greg scratched his head. "Why are you going all the way to Beaverton to see a girl who isn't queer…" he glanced at me again, "…If you're not queer either?"

"Uh…" I made a face.

"You are queer?" he looked at me so long I yelled at him to watch where he was going. "Jesus, when did you turn queer? I thought Kyle was your boyfriend now. Does he know about this Julie chick?"

"He is my boyfriend," I sighed. "And no, he doesn't know…Well, he met her, but he doesn't know I'm meeting her. And uh, I don't know. I guess I'm sorta bisexual or something." I didn't really feel like talking about all this. "I haven't figured it out yet."

"Figured it out?" Greg laughed. "What's there to figure out, Ann? You either like girls or you don't. Christ, dad's gonna have a fit!"

"What?" I stared at him. "You can't say anything, Greg. Not ever, to nobody!"

"I ain't gonna say anything," he said defensively, "But what? You think you can start picking up girls in Beaverton and nobody's gonna know cause it's so freakin' far away?" he was laughing again and it actually made me smile, just a little.

"I don't know," I gestured uselessly with my hands. "I'm not picking up girls either, okay? It's one girl and we met by mistake. We're just friends, not girlfriends. She probably doesn't even like me very much."

"Right," Greg nodded. "This chick's gonna meet you at the root beer stand cause she found out the cute guy she likes is really a girl and she doesn't like you very much…Okay, I get it."

"Really?" I looked at Greg hopefully, wondering for a second if he could explain it to me.

"No!" he laughed and I just tilted my head back, looking at the dark nothingness of the car's ceiling.

It was three minutes before eight when we pulled into the parking lot. The A&W was like a drive-in hamburger stand, but they had seating inside too. Greg said he'd hang out in the car while I went in and he could tell I was nervous.

"First time you ever met a girl?" he asked me as I sat there taking a few deep breaths. 

I nodded, "Sorta."

"Don't worry, you're the coolest guy I know," Greg squeezed my leg gently. "And remember, she likes you already, so just be yourself."

"Okay," I smiled at him gratefully, but I wasn't so sure. 

I slipped out of the car and walked nervously across the dim parking lot and into the neon lights of the A&W. There weren't too many people in there, a couple parents with their little kids in one booth, and Julie sitting in another one all by herself. She looked exactly like I remembered, with her long black hair sort of tangled, but nice, and her dark almond eyes and soft pale skin that reminded me of porcelain. She was wearing jeans and a nice gold colored blouse with a sort of white lacey collar that opened at the neck. It was cute. Julie had her jacket on the seat beside her and she smiled and waved, just a little one, when she saw me.

"Hi," I sat down opposite her in the booth, looking around a little, but looking at her too. She smelled nice.

"Hi," Julie was smiling and looking at me a little funny, sort of tilting her head.

"What?" I asked, feeling really self-conscious and wondering if I had something on my face. I could feel myself blushing just a little from her scrutiny and I guess she caught herself then.

"Oh!" Julie giggled nervously and looked down. "Nothing. I'm sorry."

"Uh…" I was too nervous to push her, so I asked her what she wanted.

"Just a float? I guess…Yeah…" she was blushing too and it really showed on her snow white skin.

"Okay," I took a little breath and got up to get our floats. I was really wondering what I was doing there and even worse, I was sure Julie was asking herself the same thing. 

When I sat back down, setting Julie's float carefully in front of her, she finally told me what she'd been looking at. "You really look…I mean um, I thought you were a really cute guy, you know?" she was leaning across the little table and I was doing the same so that our heads were almost touching.

"Okay," I smiled and shrugged, like that was no big deal. We were both speaking quietly. "What about now?" I asked her.

"You still look like a guy, a little, but yeah, you're a girl too," she giggled. "I mean you're a girl. Period, not a girl too. Sorry," she was blushing again.

"I'm sort of a guy," I didn't even want to try and explain myself to her, but I had to say something. "I mean like a tomboy, I guess. I play football and fix cars with my brothers, and dress well, like this…" I looked down at myself and we were both smiling.

"And look for girls?" Julie asked, raising her eyebrows playfully.

"Uh, well, no…Not really…" I laughed nervously. "I mean, you're the one who gave me your phone number, remember?" and it was my turn to raise my eyebrows.

"Yeah," she nodded, biting her straw a little. "But that wasn't my fault."

"Oh yeah?" I was stabbing my ice cream with my straw, which had a tiny spoon molded into the bottom. "Whose fault was it then?"

"Yours!" she said like it was obvious and laughed at my look of innocence. "You didn't even tell me your name; you just took my phone number and smiled."

"Well, maybe I didn't want to embarrass you in front of your friend," I countered.

"Yeah," Julie giggled, "You didn't even know she was there!"

"Who?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"My friend, Den…" then she caught the joke. "Oh you!" she dipped one red fingernail into her float and flicked ice cream at me.

"You know why I didn't notice her?" I asked, wiping a spot of vanilla off my cheek.

"Why?" Julie took a sip and waited.

I leaned even closer, looking around like I had a secret, "Because, you were there." I was smiling but my eyes were serious and she looked into mine for a long count of five before she looked down and I sat back a little, feeling warm all over.

When Julie looked back up she was biting her bottom lip and her face was blushing softly pink. I thought I'd never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. 

"Really?" she whispered.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Really."

We didn't kiss or anything, but we talked a lot. Sometimes really serious, sometimes really silly. She was smart and funny and interesting and everything I liked she liked too, or at least seemed to. And anything she could tell me about herself and her family and her friends was fascinating to me. I wanted to know everything and it was hard letting her go at nine o'clock. The hour had flown by, for both of us I think, and I felt warm and giddy and a little breathless, like I'd just run a mile. It was exhilarating.

"I really gotta go," Julie was saying for like the third time, but she didn't want to leave any more than I wanted her to.

"Hey, wait," I touched her hand, and believe it or not that was the first time we'd touched. It was a like a little shock went through me, seriously, and I almost jerked my hand away I was so surprised. But I didn't, I held my hand on hers, not daring to move it even slightly.

"What?" she smiled, but she was looking at our hands too.

When she looked up, into my face, I asked her, "Do you believe in fate?"

"I don't know," she said very seriously and then she giggled. "Call me tonight, after you get home. Then I'll tell you if I do or not."

"Really?" I smiled. "It might be kinda late though."

"I don't care. You can wake me up," she grinned and then she really did have to go. "Bye."

"Bye," and she slipped her hand out from under mine and I just sat there until Greg came in five minutes later.

"That was Julie?" Greg asked me when he sat down. "She's a fox, man!"

"Yeah," I nodded, smiling like I didn't have a care in the world.

"No wonder you're turning queer, shit," Greg chuckled. "So how about it? Is she a lesbian or what?"

"Huh?" I had sorted drifted for a second, thinking about how she liked to play with her earring, the left one. They were gold dangling things, and she just flicked it a little with the fingers of her right hand sometimes. I doubted that Julie even noticed she did it.

"Is she queer?" Greg asked impatiently, leaning towards me a little. "Cause if she ain't maybe you could introduce us, you know?"

I laughed at him, but I actually felt a little tiny but jealous too, and that was new for me. "I don't know yet," I shrugged. "But I think she likes me."

"Well, you were in here long enough," Greg sat back and looked at Julie's empty cup. "If she wasn't interested before, she is now. No chick sits for an hour with anybody she don't like."

I thought about that for a second and decided Greg was probably right. "You want something?" I offered. "Drink or ice cream or something? I'll buy."

"Nah," Greg shook his head. "I had like three root beers while I was waiting for you guys. In fact…" he looked around, "…they got a bathroom in here?"

I really owed Greg for driving me to Beaverton to see Julie, there was no doubt about that. It had been a great night, a thousand times better than I'd ever expected it to be, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Greg hadn't complained either, not once, even after he'd sat alone in his car for an hour waiting for me. Only a brother would do somebody a favor like that, so I didn't mind very much when it was my turn to do Greg a favor.

The Barracuda was a cool car, but like all cool muscle cars it had bucket seats in the front and a cramped back seat. I'd leaned over as much as I could, so I was practically sitting on the shifter, and had my right hand in Greg's lap, rubbing his penis gently through his jeans while he drove. I could tell he was getting hard and he'd wiggle his butt every now and then, trying to get some room for the growing bulge in his pants.

"Just find a spot to pull over," I suggested, feeling my own little urges building inside me too. Greg's cock felt really nice, even through his jeans.

"Where?" Greg asked, "There's no place around here. If the sheriff catches us we're dead."

I couldn't argue with that. If a deputy or someone saw us parked by the side of the road he'd definitely stop and then figure he caught a couple fags, until he checked us out. Then he'd find out I was Greg's 14 year old sister, which had to be a big no-no I was sure. We'd be dead seven ways from Sunday and that was a fact.

"Well…" I was trying to think, but the fact is it just ain't that easy hiding in the middle of nowhere. Not like having a big movie theater parking lot handy.

"Just take it out," Greg suggested with a little grin.

"While you're driving?" I giggled, thinking he was joking. "Let's just go to the quarry." The old limestone quarry was like the local lovers lane and the cops didn't bother anyone much before midnight, or so I'd heard. I'd never actually been there.

"That's on the other side of town," Greg snorted a little and I wondered what the big deal was, it wasn't like we were walking or anything. "Just do it here, like this."

"What if you get in an accident or something?" I wasn't sure I wanted to be giving my brother a blowjob going down the road doing forty.

"I won't. Come on…Take it out, sis!" Greg was rocking his hips a little and I guess it must have been sorta uncomfortable, but he was excited too.

I shrugged a little and moved so I could get both hands down there working on his zipper and unbuttoning his boxers so I could free his straining penis. It was hot in my hands and once again I was surprised at how good a real cock could feel, just the weight of it was cool, how it felt heavy and alive under my fingers.

"Yeah…" Greg sighed, "…That's it." He seemed to settle back a little and slowed down to a few miles per hour under the speed limit. Route 29 wasn't much of a road anyway. I mean, it was pretty straight and smooth, but it didn't get a whole lot of traffic this time of day. Most everybody around there had farms of one sort or another, so they were getting ready for bed.

I stroked Greg's cock slowly with my right hand. It was big, I mean for just being barely 16 years old, Greg had a really long thick penis. It wasn't as big as Steve's, of course, but it was more than a little bit bigger than any of my friends' dicks, even Kyle's, and he was about the same age Greg was. Maybe it was genes or something, since all my brothers seemed sort of big in the cock department, at least so far as I could tell from casual, and not so casual observation.

"I really like your cock," I said softly, rubbing my thumb over the smooth round head and feeling the wetness there. "It's so nice."

"You do?" Greg's penis was getting even bigger, I thought, if that were possible.

"Yeah," I really wished I could have kissed him then, that would have been so nice too. "I wish I had a cock like this," I rubbed the palm of my hand over his cockhead and then down the shaft, working to get him nice and wet all over with precum.

"Oh that feels good, Ann," Greg looked down to see what I was doing in the dim light of the dashboard.

"Mmmm…" I agreed. "Watch the road, Greg," I giggled. "I'll watch this," and I squeezed his cock harder, reminding him of what he was doing.

"Yeah," Greg looked back up and licked his lips.

"If I had a big cock like this I'd jerk off everyday," I told Greg quietly, leaning over so my head was against the side of his seat, close to his shoulder. "Do you jerk off, Greg?"

"Yeah…I do…Uh-huh…" he was breathing a little harder.

"Everyday?" I asked and he nodded. "Do you think about me?"

"Always…" he moaned softly. "I've been thinking about you since I was…Uh…Thirteen, I think."

"Thirteen?" I giggled softly. "Really? That was when you started jerking off?" 

I moved my hand to my mouth, licking it and tasting his precum, which didn't taste like much of anything, but it was still good. I drooled a small puddle of spit into my palm and slid it up and down and around Greg's shaft.

"Yeah," Greg was hunching his hips a little, trying to get me to move my hand faster, but I was being deliberately slow. Talking to him like this was getting me even more excited.

"And you were thinking about me?" I smiled and slipped my fingers down to play with his hairy balls, pulling them carefully free of his trousers. "Did you think about fucking me, Greg?"

"Oh…Shit yeah…" my brother nodded.

"But I'm a boy, Greg," I teased him. "Don't you think I look like a boy?"

Greg swallowed thickly, "A little…But I…"

"So you wanted to fuck me like a boy?" I was getting hot all over now.

"I…Yeah…Maybe…" Greg's cock was throbbing in my hand and I wrapped my fingers tightly around the base. He was so thick I couldn't get completely around it, but it was close enough.

When I was just…What?" I whispered, teasing him. "Eleven? Twelve years old? You wanted to fuck me, Greg?"

"Jesus, Annie…" he glanced at me and lifted his hips slightly, feeling the pressure of my small fist wrapped around his swollen cock.

"Did you think about fucking my ass, Greg?" I was breathing hard too and the windows were starting to fog up a little. "Fucking your big hard cock in my tight little butt?" I felt his cock growing a little sticky and I gathered more precum from the head. He was leaking like a faucet. "Fucking my ass like a boy, Greg…Is that what you were thinking?"

"Yeah…Uh-huh…Oh shit, Ann…I'm gonna cum pretty soon…" Greg reached for the dash and turned on the window defroster.

"If I had a cock like yours, would you still fuck me?" I asked breathlessly, moving my hand up and down his throbbing cock slowly, squeezing it every now and again. "Would you fuck me if I really was a boy, Greg?"

"Y-Yeah…I'd…Uh…Fuck you…" he was so hot he would have agreed to anything, but it still gave me a rush hearing him say it.

"Would you play with my dick? Would you rub it…Like this?" I moved my hand a little faster, pulling at it harder. "Would you jerk me off, Greg…Would you make me cum while you fucked me?"

"Uhhh…God yeah…" he groaned and his body was trembling. I could feel him tense and his foot was going up and down on the accelerator, just a little like he couldn't keep it steady.

"Do you want me to suck it now?" I wanted him to cum in my mouth then, to feel his thick heavy cock filling me.

"Oh…Please, Annie…Suck it…Yes!" he had his eyes fixed on the road, trying to concentrate on driving, I thought, so that he wouldn't cum.

"Would you suck mine, Greg?" I moved my mouth close to his ear, leaning against him slightly so the car swerved just a little. "Would you suck my cock while I sucked yours?"

"Yessss…" Greg moaned and he was so close.

"Would you let me cum in your mouth? Would you eat it for me?" I felt my damp pussy quivering with little spasms of pleasure. Talking like this while I jerked Greg off was really getting me turned on. "I'm going to swallow yours," I promised my brother, taking a second to lick his ear lightly, swirling my tongue around inside it.

"I'm gonna…I'm…Oh shit, sis…Hurry up!" Greg was pleading and he couldn't keep his eyes on the road anymore. He pulled onto the shoulder, locking up his brakes on the gravel.

"Tell me…" I squeezed his cock hard, trying to keep him from cumming, "…Tell me you want to taste my boy cum."

"I do…Yes…Oh please!" Greg was grabbing me around the shoulders, pushing my head down, desperate to feel my warm wet mouth around his cock before he exploded.

I almost cracked my head on the steering wheel as I let my brother pull me down, my mouth opened wide as his fat cock speared into it. The head rammed into the back of my mouth almost painfully and I gagged on it, choking and coughing when Greg's body seemed to go stiff, his legs straightening so his cock was jammed hard between my stretched lips.

"Ahhh…Fuck! Fuck…Fuck yessss…" Greg's penis erupted in my mouth and I was instantly overwhelmed with his hot sperm. It flooded me and I coughed on it, my cheeks bulging outward as I tried to contain it, but that was useless. It spilled out between my lips, running down the shaft of his jerking cock and over my fingers.

Greg was spurting hard and fast and he was oblivious to everything but his orgasm. He held my head down with his strong hands, even as I tried to push myself away, feeling desperate for air. I was choking and my lungs ached, but it was exciting too. The soft gooey texture of his cum, strong and salty, filled my mouth and I could smell him, his musky man smell. My body tingled as I was caught in that strange exciting struggle.

At last I was able to get my mouth away, still full of Greg's sperm, but I was able to relax and breathe carefully around it. I didn't want to swallow, not yet. Greg had promised me and I was so hot for him, all of my talk had been feeding my needs, giving me what I needed and there was one thing left to do.

I moved close to my brother, putting my arms around him in that small uncomfortable space, sliding my body around the console and the gear shifter that separated us. I pressed my mouth to his, surprising him, but Greg didn't resist at first, not until I pushed my tongue into his waiting mouth, forcing his still warm sperm from mine to his. He didn't know what was going on right away and then he suddenly grunted, and I could feel him tensing, but I hugged my brother tight, fighting to keep my lips sealed against his.

"Mmmpph…" Greg was pushing at me, but as I moved my tongue around his mouth, exploring him eagerly, he seemed to relax slowly, surrendering to what I wanted.

I was moaning into his mouth and soon Greg's hands were no longer pushing, but pulling at me. Instead of forcing him to accept my kiss, he returned it, his own tongue sliding over mine, into my mouth. We were passing the creamy remains of his orgasm between us, sharing it even as it slowly disappeared in the little swallows we took between kisses and breaths. Perhaps ten minutes later, after we'd been reduced to licking each other's lips and smiling, both of us hot and sweating and breathing hard, we knew it was time to go.

I moved awkwardly back into my seat while Greg looked down at the mess in his lap. His pants were wet and stained with all the sperm that I hadn't been able to hold in my mouth. He shrugged and gave a little embarrassed laugh and I giggled, apologizing to him and looking in the glove compartment for napkins, or a rag or something, but of course there weren't any. Greg would just have to live with it.

He didn't mention kissing me while my mouth had been full of his cum, and I didn't want to humiliate him or anything. Even if I'd told him how good and special that had made it for me, he would have felt a little bad, I thought. It wasn't the sort of thing a normal boy liked to think about, probably. I didn't think he'd want to remember the things I'd been saying to him either, or some of them anyway. So I sat there quietly, enjoying the warm glow in my tummy, and smiling while Greg drove us slowly home. At least I'd managed to have gay sex, sort of, I thought, and that had been really good.

Once back home I went straight for the kitchen, looking for something to drink, while Greg did his best to disappear into our room unnoticed. Not just because of the big wet spot on his pants, but also because we'd basically snuck out and didn't want anyone to see us returning together. Mark and David especially, since they didn't trust Greg or Henry to be alone with me for much more than five minutes.

It was just after ten and I was drinking apple juice when David walked in through the back door.

"Hey, where you been?" he asked. "Kyle called, a couple times. Said he needed to talk to you."

"I was down to Josh's," I shrugged. "His truck was dying."

"Again?" David snorted. "What was it this time? Carb?"

"Nah, a couple plugs were loose. He was running on 3 cylinders," I rinsed my glass in the sink and washed my hands.

"He's always runnin' on three cylinders," David thought Josh was pretty much an idiot, but that hadn't kept him from going to Josh's party the week before. "You're coming camping with us, right?"

"Yeah," I dried my hands on a dish towel. "I gotta call Kyle."

David grabbed my arm, "Hold on…Mark said Kyle was gonna come too, did you ask him already?"

"No, not yet," I looked at my brother. "Why?"

"Uh, well…" David looked a little guilty, I thought. "Sherry said she didn't want to go if uh, if Kyle was there."

"What? Why?" I stared at David. "Who does she think she…"

"And Jane can't go if Sherry doesn't go, so…" David was trying to talk over me.

"…is anyway? I can invite whoever I want!" I was suddenly a little pissed.

"…if they're not going, then, uh…We're not going, I guess," David really looked guilty.

"So nobody's gonna go because I want to bring my boyfriend?" I was practically grinding my teeth. "Does Mark know?"

"Yeah, he knows. You want to talk to him?" David suggested, probably hoping it would let him off the hook somehow.

"How come she won't go?" I crossed my arms. "Sherry. What's her problem with Kyle?"

"She, uh…" David lowered his voice, but we were totally alone. There wasn't even anyone else downstairs, I didn't think. "…she doesn't want anyone to know about her and Jane. That they're…You know…"

"Bitches?" I said sarcastically.

"No, come on, Ann!" David was close to me, trying to be nice and explain. "You have secrets too. You know what it's like. Why do you think we're going camping?" he smiled.

"So you can watch your girlfriends fuck me, probably," I spat. "You guys aren't any different from anyone else."

"No, come on. Jane really wants to see you. She likes you a lot, she told me so. Kyle can come another time, after you get to know them better, you can talk to Sherry, okay? She's really nice," David was rubbing my shoulder and back, whispering and trying to convince me.

"I don't like it, David," I shook my head. "It ain't fair, okay? Kyle is my boyfriend; he's my best friend too. I'm not gotta choose between them and him. I'm staying with him, you know? Have fun on your little camping trip."

"Annie, please…Wait…" David was holding me and I was trying to get away. 

I didn't want to fight him, I wasn't that angry. Just disappointed I guess, more than anything else. I could understand Sherry's point because yeah, I did have secrets, but it still wasn't right. Mark should have said something up front.

"Look, just call Jane okay? She called tonight too, about half an hour ago. Just call her and then decide," David was looking into my eyes. He was so handsome, so damn cute all the time; it was hard to say no to anything he wanted.

I sighed heavily, like I was really doing something I thought was a waste of time. "Okay. I'll call her," I promised. "After I call Kyle."

"Okay," David smiled. "Just uh, don't say anything about…" I glared at him and he shut up. "Okay," he held up his hands in mock surrender and finally dug a cigarette out of his shirt pocket, lighting it on the stove, and walked out the back door again while I watched him silently, waiting to be alone.

I called Kyle, eager just to hear his voice. "Hi!" I said when he answered on the first ring.

"Hi," Kyle sounded a little less than eager though, more like anxious. "How are you doing?" he made it sound like I was dying and my mood was really going downhill fast.

"Uh, fine. Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"Um, I talked to Matt," he said. "And Lance…"

"Oh," I'd almost forgotten about that stuff.

"…and John," he paused. "And your brother stopped by, uh…"

"Steve?" I closed my eyes really wishing a big asteroid would just hit the earth.

"Uh, Steve, yeah. The biggest one," but Kyle wasn't making a joke.

"What did he say?"

"He said, um, well…He basically said you were stressing out over me and the other guys. Cause we were making you, uh…Do stuff and that you didn't want to do it," Kyle was talking soft and low. "He said you had to see the doctor."

Great, I thought, now Kyle thinks I'm crazy. I was gonna kill Steve.

"Nah, it wasn't a big deal. My dad called the doctor cause I had a fever, that's all."

"What about that other stuff?" Kyle didn't sound like he believed me. "You called me in the middle of the night."

I ignored that. "What did the guys say?"

"They're pretty pissed at me," Kyle said. "Well, both of us I guess. Matt said you wouldn't go out with any of them. They all said that, and then they said that it was my fault cause we went out. John said I was a backstabber."

John and Kyle were pretty close, like Matt and Lance were real close, so I knew that must have hurt Kyle a lot.

"I told them it wasn't your fault," I sighed. "I tried to explain that I changed my mind because I just want one boyfriend, not four. I want…I don't know," I sat down on the kitchen floor, under the phone and hugged my knees to my chest.

Kyle didn't say anything and I was quiet for awhile too.

"You guys don't know what it's like, Kyle. I mean everytime I'm with you guys I'm thinking all kinds of weird thoughts, like I want to do stuff, but I don't. I want to make everyone happy, but I think it'll make everyone mad…No matter what I do."

"I don't know…" Kyle started, but he didn't have anything to say.

"I really want you to be my boyfriend," I told him, deciding all I could do was just tell him what I wanted. "I want to be friends with the other guys, but I want us to be…Different too. Okay?"

"They're not gonna be our friends anymore, Ann," Kyle sounded sad. "Matt wants to fight or something, he's really pissed."

"Matt's always pissed. I've had like 20 fights with him, he always gets over it," I tried to sound convincing, but even though it was true I'm not sure we believed it.

"Yeah, maybe."

"All those guys need is their own girlfriends," I said. "They just want me because they're being lazy or something, or they love me like a sister and they're confusing it with something else…The other love, you know?"

"Is that what you think of me too?" Kyle sounded hurt and I hadn't meant to do that at all.

"No! Kyle, no…Didn't you ever feel a little um…Different about me?" I knew he did, he had to, didn't he? Because I did sometimes, when we were sitting close and just talking and we'd just sort of…Look at each other. I mean I looked at all my friends, but looking at Kyle…That always made me feel different. He wasn't like the others.

"Um, yeah," he agreed slowly. "I felt it before."

"Me too," I said softly. "I just never said it, or did anything about it before, because I was worried about what might happen."

"Yeah," Kyle was getting it now, I thought.

"But I'm not a kid anymore, Kyle. I don't want to ignore it, okay? I don't care what the other guys think anymore, or what might happen," I was a little stronger now, like I'd finally found my footing again. It felt good to just say this stuff finally and make up my mind.

"But, I don't know…" Kyle was still worried though. He liked his friends, a lot, and if I was his girlfriend then… "Lance told me I had to pick, you or them. And your brother, Steve, he kinda said the same thing. If I wanted to go out with you then maybe I couldn't be friends with them. That's what he said."

"Kyle, they'll get over it, I prom…"

"If I gotta pick though," Kyle went on like he hadn't heard me, "I have to stay with my friends, Ann. You know? They're my best friends."

He was breaking up with me?

I didn't know what to say. I sat there stunned, trying to understand what Kyle was saying. He wouldn't pick me over them? Even though they probably wouldn't stay mad for very long, he'd choose them? I really felt sick then, like all that apple juice was going to come up. I even gagged slightly, closing my eyes and that was worse, because my face was hot and I thought I was gonna cry or something.

"Ann?" Kyle sounded concerned and depressed, as he should have, I thought.

I didn't say anything for a minute, I just sat there ignoring Kyle as he tried to apologize or something, explain himself maybe, but I wasn't interested anymore.

"If they were our best friends, we wouldn't have to choose," I finally said, my voice trembling. "That's why I picked you, Kyle." 

I hung up before he could say anything, before he could hear me crying.

"What happened to you?" I turned my face upward to see Scott looking down at me like a tall blonde angel.

I was still sitting on the kitchen floor, holding the phone and crying because Kyle had decided he didn't want Matt, Lance, and John to be mad at him. I guess I couldn't blame him, but I did. I mean I'd had the same choice, but I'd picked Kyle. I felt like one of those idiots on TV, the ones who go on dates with other people to decide if they should stay with their boyfriend or girlfriend. I was one of the ones who got dumped after I'd told the world I wanted us to stay together.

"I got dumped," I smiled sarcastically and wiped my nose with my thumb and smeared the snot on my pants. I didn't care.

"Let's go to my room before Pops sees you," Scott hauled me to my feet, "and calls Doc Ryan again."

I told him the whole sordid tale, talking about my four ex-best friends and especially about Kyle, who was not only an ex-best friend, but an ex-boyfriend to boot. It wasn't like my brother didn't know most of it already anyway.

Scott was strumming his guitar, which helped him think, or so he claimed. I know it always helped relax me and that night was no different. I settled down while we talked and even smiled a little. Scott might have been queer as a three dollar bill, but he knew a lot about guys. I mean from the perspective of a girl, really. I was a girl but my perspective was from the guy part of me, which is confusing as hell, believe me. But that was my problem; I was suddenly trying to behave like a 14 year old girl when I'd never been a girl before. I did fine when I tried to act like a 14 year old boy, heck I'd even gotten Julie Perry to like me…A lot, I hoped. And that reminded me that I had to call her!

"Who's Julie?" Scott asked, since I'd just mentioned her name out loud without thinking about it.

"She's just a friend," I shrugged and thought about telling Scott everything about her too, thinking he'd probably laugh at most of it. "Do you know a lot of lesbians?" I changed the subject, sorta, and surprised both of us, I think.

"What?" he smiled a little, the way he did when he understood something that nobody else did. Scott really was the smartest out of all of us. "I know a few, I guess."

"Are they like me? I mean, you know, the way I'm mostly a guy?" I really didn't know why I was asking this stuff.

Scott ran his fingers up and down the frets in a quick scale and frowned, tuning one of the strings just a fraction. "Some of them, I guess. Mostly the ones I've met are…" he shrugged, "…pretty normal."

"Like you?"

"Yeah," he grinned. "I guess so. You wouldn't really know just looking at them, and some girls that really look gay, well, they're not." He stopped playing for a second and looked at me. "People are just people, Ann."

"Uhhh…" I laughed. I totally didn't understand Scott sometimes.

"Never mind," he rolled his eyes, sort of mocking himself. "You really like that girl, huh?

I sucked my top lip a little pensively, "Yeah. I don't know." I did, but… "I don't know if she likes me."

"Just be yourself."

"That's what everybody says," I sighed. "I just don't know who I am."

"Yeah you do," Scott smiled gently. "When you're not thinking about it, you know exactly who you are."

"So I should stop thinking?"

"Stop thinking about what?" Steve asked, opening the door and walking in.

"What did you say to Kyle?" I challenged him immediately, forgetting everything else.

"Huh?" Steve glanced at Scott, but he was looking at his fingers.

"Kyle dumped me," I said. "He told me you said he had to choose or something."

"I told him you couldn't have four boyfriends, that it wasn't going to work. And if he wanted to be with you, then he was going to have to deal with his friends being mad about it," Steve sat down next to me on his bed.

"That's all?"

"Well, I didn't beat him up or anything, if that's what you mean," he chuckled a little. "Don't worry, I talked to all of 'em."

"All of them?" I stared at my brother. "When?"

"Tonight," Steve gave me a funny look, like when else could he have done it? "I stopped by Kyle's place around seven and rounded the boys up like sheep."

"Kyle didn't say anything about that."

Steve shrugged, "He was probably embarrassed. They were arguing like little kids over a piece of candy."

"So what did you say?"

"What do you think? I said I'd kick their punk asses if they made my sister cry again," he laughed and Scott grinned, nodding.

"Should have said we'd kick their asses," Scott told him.

"It was implied, I think," Steve rubbed my leg a little. "They feel bad though, give them a couple days and they'll come around."

"It ain't gonna be the same though, is it?" I looked up at him and Steve gave me a shrug and a hug.

It was getting sort of late by then and I was eager to call Julie. I was supposed to call Jane Hudson too, but I didn't even know her phone number. She could wait, but Julie…If Kyle wanted to dump me, then that was his problem. I had other friends, and now maybe I even had a new best friend, although that was just wishful thinking most likely. Still, if Steve was right then Matt and the other guys couldn't stay mad at me forever, and maybe in a week or two everything would be back to normal. And hopefully none of this would ever come up again.

I actually felt kind of good about myself after I left my brothers' room. I passed by Daddy who was going to bed. He was undoing his coveralls and he smiled when he saw me.

"What?" I smiled back.

"I guess you're done with that Brian fella, huh?" Daddy said and I gave him a puzzled look. "I heard you broke his nose."

"I didn't really break it," I admitted, amazed at how fast word got around. I wondered if Principal Snyder had called Daddy.

"Too bad," Daddy rubbed my head and went down the hall. "I was lookin' forward to meeting that boy." That was my dad's sense of humor working overtime.

I popped my head into my room and saw Greg already asleep, but Henry wasn't in there; I found him downstairs playing Doom 3 on the computer. He really gets into his games, so he barely noticed me. Mark and David were in the kitchen, grabbing some food before bed. They'd been working with Daddy on a compressor for a refrigerator truck that had broken down. It had been kind of a rush since the truck had like ten tons of ice cream in the back.

"Want some?" Mark grinned and he had chocolate all around his mouth. They were digging into a big round 5 gallon can of Double Dutch with a couple spoons.

"Ain't no room for it in the freezer, gotta eat it all tonight!" David laughed, shoving a big spoonful into his mouth.

"You guys are gonna be sick," I laughed. "That fall off the back of the truck or something?"

"This is our bonus!" David said. "Guy was so happy he told us to grab one."

I took Mark's spoon out of his hand and got myself a bite. It was good and hardly melted at all.

"You call Jane yet?" David glanced at the clock, it was 11:37 already.

"I don't even know her number," I gave Mark his spoon back. "Kyle can't go anyway, so…"

"So you're still coming?" Mark asked around a mouthful of ice cream.

"Yeah, I'll go I guess," I shrugged a little.

"We ain't never gonna finish this, dude," David laughed and looked at Mark. They'd barely made a dent in it, 5 gallons was a lot of ice cream, and they were already getting full.

"Well, don't leave it in here," I told them. "It'll make a mess, just put it outside someplace. Maybe it'll stay cold enough you can have it for breakfast." It did get cold at night, but not that cold yet; I just wanted to get them out of the kitchen though and I had to wait another ten minutes before they finally disappeared.

The kitchen was all mine finally, I thought as I reached for the phone. It was almost exactly midnight and that was cool, I hoped. It was sort of exciting having a girlfriend. I mean having a boyfriend was nice for the one day I had him, but it wasn't the same. With Julie I was just me, I mean she knew I was a girl, but I was really a guy too. I didn't have to pretend anything and I think she liked that too.

Her phone was ringing. "Hello?" Julie answered softly, but not quite whispering.

"Hi. What are you doing?" I asked, being quiet myself since the kitchen isn't all that far from the rest of the house.

"Ann! Hi!" Julie was happy that I called and I couldn't help but smile. "I'm uh, just almost sleeping," she giggled.

"Just almost sleeping?" I laughed too. "Darn. I wanted to wake you up."

"You did? Why?"

"Just to see if you were serious."

"If I was serious about what? About you?" she made it sound like I must be joking and my heart sank a little.

"About waking you up," I said, protecting myself a little. 

"Yeah. I was serious. I had fun tonight."

"Me too," I was smiling again.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Just hanging out, talking to my brothers and stuff."

"I wish you didn't live so far away," Julie surprised me.

"Yeah, me too," I agreed. "It would be cool to hang out with you."

"When are you coming back to Beaverton?"

"Uh, I don't know," I thought that sounded like kind of an invitation, but I wasn't really sure. "Do you want to um, see a movie or something?" I ventured, trying to make it sound like I wasn't really asking her out on a date or anything.

"Sure, I guess so. When?"

"How about tomorrow?" I figured I could always change my mind about camping.

"Mmmm…I can't tomorrow. We're going to the Roller Barn, sort of a family night out thing. We go every Friday." Julie paused for a second, "Do you want to come roller skating with us?"

I'd been roller skating a couple times but I wasn't really good at it, and her family was gonna be there? "Nah, I'm bad at roller skating," I laughed self-consciously.

"That's okay, I can teach you," she giggled, but that would have made me feel real silly, skating around trying to be cool and having Julie trying to show me how it was done. 

"Let me practice a little first," I promised, cause she did seem eager. "How about Saturday? I have a football game in the afternoon, but I can come over afterwards."

"Saturday? Okay, yeah," she agreed. "You wanna come by my house and get me?"

I hadn't thought about that, but it sounded a lot like a date. I wondered if maybe Julie didn't think I was asking her out, instead of just asking her to hang out, or whatever. Talking to girls was weird, or at least talking to Julie was. I just couldn't keep up or something, like every time I thought I knew what was going on she had to say something to make me wonder.

"Um, I'll have to get a ride from one of my brothers, so I don't know…" I was nervous, thinking I wasn't sounding like much of a boyfriend if that was what Julie was hoping for, but she probably wasn't…was she? I bit my bottom lip the way I do sometimes.

"We can meet at the arcade, if you want," Julie offered, without sounding like it was a big deal at all if I picked her up or not. 

Which it shouldn't have been, because we were just a couple girls who happened to be friends, not girlfriends…Except in my head I was definitely a guy right then. I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I was just stuck in this stupid body and it was confusing the situation.

"Okay, about seven? Saturday night? Is that okay?" I kept my voice steady, even though I was pretty excited knowing I was going to see her again.

"Okay," Julie giggled. "It's a date!" 

I closed my eyes, wondering again what was going on. We said our goodnights a few minutes later, since it was getting very late and I had to get up early to workout with Coach. Julie was sleepy too, I figured, even though she sounded like she was really disappointed when we were hanging up. So I was stuck, laying in bed and wondering if I was going on a date with her Saturday night, or if it was just…Hanging out. "She did it on purpose," I whispered, closing my eyes and hugging my pillow.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Coach took it easy on me Friday morning, which was good because my butt was still a little sore, but not too bad. The rest of the day was okay too. Matt, Lance, and John pretty much ignored me, but they didn't give me any dirty looks or anything. I got the sense they were avoiding me because they felt bad, more than they were mad. I could have been wrong though and it was a little bit frustrating not knowing for sure what was going on.

I hadn't told Nurse Haven that I was gonna skip football practice that afternoon. I wondered if she might worry about that when I didn't show up, so while it made me a little nervous, I decided I needed to see her. I hadn't given what we'd done too much thought, really; I mean my mind had been a little full of other things, you know? Besides that, I didn't think it was that big of a deal either for some reason, although it obviously was. It was like how I'd felt with Sandy; I was just comfortable with what we'd done. 

Miss Haven wasn't though. I could see it on her face when I walked into her office during the middle of my study hall. My heart was beating fast, I admit, and I was warm all over, unsure of myself and what I was doing suddenly.

"Hi," I smiled, clutching a book I'd brought along like a shield.

"Ann?" Nurse Haven stared at me. She was sitting behind her little desk and had been writing something, but now she was frozen like a statue. "Are you, um…Are you okay?" she seemed to shake herself out of it.

"Yeah," I nodded, licking my lips a little cause my mouth was dry.

"Close the door," she looked at it nervously, like someone might walk by and see something suspicious. "Lock it."

After I'd done as she asked, Miss Haven seemed to relax a little, but not much. I took a breath, getting ready to tell her I was gonna go camping with my brothers and wouldn't be at practice, but…

"Ann, about yesterday…" Miss Haven was already talking quietly and I had to move closer to hear her voice. "We shouldn't have done that, it was wrong of me." I was standing by her desk and she was looking up at me, but her eyes seemed to look everywhere but into mine. "It was all my fault and…"

"It's okay," I rubbed the back of my neck, not sure what I was supposed to say. It felt like our roles were reversed again somehow, like she was a kid in trouble and I was the adult or something.

"No," Miss Haven shook her head. "No it's not. I have a responsibility to protect you and…" she seemed to be talking more to herself than to me, "…I just…Sometimes I…Forget." And then she was looking into my eyes.

I moved a little closer, so that I was practically right beside the woman. Miss Haven was still at her desk, slightly turned and I could see her starched white skirt had ridden up her thighs, exposing the tops of her white stockings. She didn't wear pantyhose, I realized with a bit of a shock, she had real garters with little button clips like I'd seen in magazines. The tops were fancy lace and very pretty the way they stretched around her smooth thighs. I had the sudden urge to know what it felt like and I hesitantly leaned over, brushing my fingertips across her skin and the delicate pattern of her stocking.

"No, please…" Nurse Haven whispered, but she was pushing her chair slowly back, giving herself more room to spread her legs until I could see the matching lace of her white panties. "I've never done this before," she was breathing heavily, her firm breasts rising and falling under her white blouse.

"Don't you want to?" I asked softly. I felt like I was possessed or something, honestly. My hand was moving back and forth along the inside of Miss Haven's right thigh, it slipped over her stocking and up, over her warm bare skin so that my fingertips caressed her sex, barely visible through the intricate lacework. 

"No…" Nurse Haven gasped, "…You're just a child…This is so wrong…" 

But that was exactly what she was enjoying. She must have dreamed about being seduced by one of the boys or girls she saw around her everyday. I didn't know if she was a lesbian, or what, maybe she was like Sandy and liked me because I looked like a boy. Or maybe it didn't really matter to her at all, girl or boy, she just had a need to be with one of her students. And not just that; I think she needed to be coerced somehow, to be forced to do these things against her better judgment. 

Nurse Haven couldn't risk everything in her life on her own, she needed help. I'd be lying if I said I understood all of that right then; the fact was that I was just a 14 year old trying to figure out her own problems. Miss Haven was a complete mystery to me at that time. So I just did what seemed natural, like any 14 year old boy would in that sort of unnatural situation...I went for the sex.

"Do you want me to stop?" I teased her, pressing my hand to her pussy and digging my fingers into the soft cotton panel that barely covered her slit. I could feel the heat radiating from her sex and Miss Haven hunched her hips slightly, searching for more. She placed her hands on mine. Both of them covering my smaller one, and she just kept my there as she rubbed herself against my hand.

"Yes…Oh God…" she breathed, "…We have to stop…Oh, my God…Please…" but that was the last thing she wanted and we both knew it. 

Nurse Haven watched my face, her bright red lips open and the soft pink of her tongue barely visible as it moved between them. Her eyes were bright and blue and shining with excitement, staring into mine, and the whole effect was making me almost unbearably hot. My boobs ached and the t-shirt I wore felt scratchy, making my hardening nipples itch. My sex felt greasy and I knew I was getting moist; my clit too was a dull throbbing sensation that would soon demand more and more attention until I was mad with it. That was the anticipation I felt, building up as Miss Haven masturbated with my hand.

"I'm sorry…Sorry…Oh no…God…Don't make me cum…" she was rocking in her chair, making it squeak on old springs and slide back and forth across the floor. I was momentarily afraid she was going to tip over backwards, but she didn't.

I was digging my fingers against her pussy, splitting her tender lips through the thin material that separated us. I could feel Nurse Haven's wetness staining the panel of her panties, it was incredible how wet she was, like she was peeing or something. I could even see it, leaking between the soft hollows of her thighs, running down her skin to collect beneath her squirming ass. I palmed her clit harder as Nurse Haven's hands urged me on. I could feel the swell of her mound and at the top of her crease the hard little nub of her clitoris, swollen with desire.

She was cumming hard, and the sound of her pleasure filled the little room. We were gonna get caught, I was sure of it, she was moaning and gasping for air and the chair sounded like it would collapse from the strain any moment. But she was mindless to it and I could do nothing but rub the woman's pussy relentlessly, driving her to even greater heights. My own breathing was ragged and my lungs felt heavy. My heart was pounding in my head and blood rushed through my veins full of adrenaline. I used my free hand to massage my tits, grabbing my left breast through my t-shirt and squeezing it hard. I might have cum with her if I'd rubbed my pussy too, but I didn't need it. This was enough, like somehow Miss Haven and I were sharing hers.

The bell was ringing, my study hall was over and Nurse Haven was just then coming down from her orgasm. Her eyes were lidded and her tongue moved over her lips slowly as she released my hand at last. My wrist was sore, my hand stiff from the position it had been in for the better part of 15 or 20 minutes. I was wet too, my palm and fingers glistening with Miss Haven's juices. I lifted it to my face and I could smell her, strong and distinctive, the way Sandy had smelled, but different too.

"I gotta go," I breathed, looking at Nurse Haven and wondering if she was going to be okay. "I have class and…"

"I know," Nurse Haven nodded, moving slowly, trying to organize herself, but she looked like she'd just fallen out of a tree or something. Her face was red and her blonde hair had come unpinned on one side, so that long strands of it fell tangled around her face and neck. Her thighs were wet and especially her panties, which looked like she'd had an accident and wet herself.

Luckily for her she had her own little bathroom in the Nurse's Office, a little bed too, so maybe she could take a little nap or something, I thought. I just hoped that when I opened the door to the hallway I wouldn't find an audience or something standing there. I knew everything had probably seemed louder than it really was, but still…Nurse Haven had been pretty loud.

I opened the door slowly and was relieved to see that my fears were unfounded. I locked it behind me and closed it, slipping into the flow of kids going to their classes. I needed a bathroom myself though, to wash my hand for one thing, which I was pretty self-conscious of right then, and to wipe my pussy as well. I was wet down there, although nowhere near as soaked as Nurse Haven's pussy had been. Thank goodness for that!

 

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