Girl Fag 10
I was gonna go home, but I needed to stop by the library first. I had a report due in the morning and I'd been putting it off until the last minute as usual. I called home, borrowing the phone at the front desk. The girl working there was Lauren, she was in high school and Henry had a big crush on her, but I couldn't ever figure out why. She was tall and thin and hardly ever said a word you could understand.
She was from Luxemburg, the place in Europe, not the one in Wisconsin, and so Lauren spoke Luxemburgese according to Henry. I thought it sounded an awful lot like German myself, but what did I know? Her family grew grapes and had a little winery, although Washington isn't renowned for its wines. I guess they did alright though. They grew good grapes, I knew that much. Me and my friends liked to pick them towards the end of August, around midnight was best usually, cause everyone else was sleeping. Know what I mean?
I let Daddy know where I was and he let me know that it was getting late. So I hurried up and found some books, but they were the big reference books that you couldn't check out for some reason. Maybe because they were so big you might lose them, I don't know. So I had to get some notes out of them. I guess libraries just weren't my lucky places, at least on that particular Monday, because not ten minutes after I sat down I had company.
"Hi," Jane whispered and she was putting her purse and a couple books on the table I was sitting at. She sat down next to me, scooting her chair a little closer than it already was and I had a vague sense of déjà vu.
"Hi," I said without much enthusiasm.
I'd never had many female friends in school or out of it and I didn't need to start making them now. I had Sandy and I guess you could say she was my best female friend, sort of, and one was enough. Mark and David had sworn to me repeatedly that Sherry and Jane wouldn't say a word about Saturday night, but it wasn't making me feel better about what had happened. Jane was 17 and a high school junior, her sister Sherry was 18 and a senior, so I didn't have much contact with them anyway.
"What are you doing?" Jane leaned over, practically in my lap, I thought, pretending to be interested in what I was reading.
"I have to do a report on Picasso for my art class," I replied softly. I was flipping through a big picture book of the guy's paintings.
"Weird," Jane gave a little giggle.
Jane was a pretty girl, all blonde and blue eyed, and I knew half the boys in school had a crush on her, the other half probably tripping over Sherry. Their family owned a horse ranch and they usually dressed like it, wearing straight leg designer jeans, western style blouses, and snakeskin cowboy boots in colors like pink, and candy apple red to match their lipstick. I found it completely ridiculous, to be honest, and thought it made them seem sort of fake. I didn't really want to be friends with Jane or her sister, despite what we might or might not have had in common. And that, I figured, was the reason Jane had come around. Even if I wasn't a real lesbian, she thought I was. I just didn't know what to think she was.
"Hey, I think it's cool you and Josh's cousin hooked up," Jane whispered, her head very close to mine. "I just wanted to say that you didn't have to worry, you know? Sherry's cool with it too and we aren't going to say anything to anybody."
"Okay," I shrugged.
I had no idea what Jane expected me to say or do. What had happened between Sandy and I had nothing to do with anyone else. It didn't matter to me at all if Jane was happy about it or not. I was happy and so was Sandy and if word did get out somehow, well…There was always somebody saying something about me anyway and Sandy was a hundred miles away. It wouldn't mean anything.
"Mark and David…" Jane paused, "…they told you about us, right?"
"You and Sherry?" I turned to look at Jane and nodded slightly. "Yeah. They told me. I won't tell."
"I know," Jane said quickly. "Okay, I just was wondering, you know."
We sat there for awhile, being quiet and pretending to read our books. I was flipping pages, not feeling much like taking notes, and just wondering when Jane was going to leave me alone.
"Hey!" I nearly jumped out of my chair and a dozen people stared at me.
"Quiet please," the adult librarian, old Mrs. Tucker gave me a dirty look and I settled back into my chair, feeling my face getting red.
Jane had put her hand on the inside of my thigh, out of sight under the table, and given me a little squeeze. I hadn't expected that at all and it had about given me a heart attack.
"Don't do that!" I whispered angrily.
"What?" Jane was smiling innocently.
"You know what," I thought about moving to another table, but she'd probably follow me. "Just don't do it."
"Sorry," she said softly, but she didn't sound very sorry. "I was bored."
"Well, go be bored someplace else, I have work to do." I wasn't raised to be rude, so that was about as close to it as I could get, at least in the public library.
"Come with me?" Jane whispered, leaning close and grabbing my arm.
"What?" I stared at her.
"Come with me," Jane jerked her head towards the doors. "I got my car outside; we can go someplace if you want."
"I can't go out. I have to get some notes and get home," I yanked my arm away and went back to my book, making little blinders around my eyes with my hands so I couldn't see her. "Sheesh," I muttered and really hoped she'd get the hint.
"I'll give you a ride then," Jane was all smiles and I could tell she wanted to touch me, just rub my arm, or tug on my hand or something, but she didn't.
"I have my bike, I can't leave it here," I was about ready to give up.
"Well…" she drew the word out slowly. "Okay then," she started getting up and I was about to give a sigh of relief. "Can I call you later?" she asked, unable to just leave me alone for some reason.
"Yeah," I agreed, out of frustration more than anything else. I could always hang up the phone, but having Jane hovering over me was getting real old real fast.
"Cool!" Jane giggled happily and away she went.
I just sat there. I didn't remember ever seeing her so…Perky…Before. But then I'd only seen her with my brothers, really, and then only briefly. She'd always seemed much more quiet though, rather introspective I thought, like she was watching life more than participating in it. I guess I was wrong, because she'd been anything but quiet talking to me in the library. Jane had been animated and cheerful and even playful with me and it made me wonder about her little.
When I got home I heated up some leftover meatloaf that Mark had cooked. None of my brothers were really bad cooks, as a general rule, but they weren't really good either. I was hungry enough so it tasted pretty good though and I worked on my report while I ate, actually managing to write something that might almost get me a passing grade. Art class was supposed to be easy, wasn't it?
The good thing was that I had Henry and Greg doing my chores all that week and the next, so I almost felt like I was on vacation. I started thinking maybe trading a blowjob or two for a break from doing the dishes and washing clothes wasn't a bad deal, for any of us. Maybe I shouldn't have promised Mark and David that I'd never fool around with my brothers again, but I had and if I got caught breaking that promise…It would be pretty bad, I was sure. So I had to make sure I didn't get caught! I was laughing to myself, thinking those bad thoughts and writing about that stupid Picasso guy – I could paint better than him! – When I had the sudden thought that I should call Kyle.
Blame it on my sudden good mood, because for some reason I was feeling rather happy with myself for the first time in days. Probably it was finishing my homework, always a good thing, and maybe it was knowing I didn't have to do the dishes, or maybe…I pursed my lips, thinking hard. Maybe it was just the silly way Jane had been acting. But no, it couldn't have been that. She'd been pretty annoying, especially the way she'd tried so hard to be cute. It might work on guys, but I wasn't…Well, I was a guy, wasn't I? Isn't that what I was always telling myself and anyone who would listen? But I wasn't a lesbian! I nodded to myself, wondering if I wasn't going crazy, that was the key. I was a guy who liked guys, so Jane was hot, yeah, but it didn't mean anything because I wasn't gay, except on the inside.
I really missed Sandy.
My Daddy was watching TV, which meant he was probably sleeping, and my brothers were all doing their own things. Scott probably playing his guitar, Steve surfing the internet for muscle babes, Mark and David hanging out in the garage sharing their secrets, Greg doing his own homework in our room, and Henry…Who knows? Jerking off in the bathroom maybe while he plotted a new way to make everyone mad. At least I was alone in the kitchen and I picked up the phone, knowing what I wanted to say and wondering if I really had the guts to go through with it.
"Hi. Is Kyle there?" I asked his mom and waited a few minutes for him to pick up the phone. My heart was beating hard with excitement and I felt a little giddy, actually. It was nice.
"Hello?" Kyle's voice was deeper than my other friends, especially over the phone and it always surprised me a little.
"Hi," I didn't bother saying it was me, he'd know. "What's up?"
"Oh, hey," he sounded sort of neutral, I guess because I'd pissed him off earlier. "Nothing, what are you up to?"
"Nothing," I said. "Just doing my homework."
"Yeah," Kyle replied without enthusiasm. "I had to memorize the Gettysburg Address."
"Did you do it?"
"Sorta," Kyle laughed. "Wanna hear it?"
"Sure," I listened as he rattled off Lincoln's most famous speech and I told him it sounded good to me, but I had no idea if it was right or not. I'd never memorized the stupid thing.
"Hey, um…I was thinking," I looked around just to make sure I was alone in the kitchen. "If you still wanted, I mean…" I was stumbling, trying to get the words out.
"Wanted what?" Kyle might have been playing with me, but I didn't think so.
"Well, if you wanted to take me to a movie or something?" I was holding my breath.
"You mean on a date?" Kyle sounded a little nervous too. "You want to go out with me?"
"Yeah," I breathed. "On a date, you know, um…Just me and you and, uh, well…"
"Yes!" I could almost hear the ka-ching of his arm pumping the air and then he toned it way, way down. "I mean, yeah, I want to. Can you go out tomorrow?" he was sounding a lot happier now and it made me smile.
"I think so, yeah. But I'd have to be back by 10 or maybe 11 I think. I'd have to ask my dad," I felt a little excited now, well a lot excited really, and I decided right then that I'd go no matter what Daddy said. It would be worth a trip to the woodshed.
"Okay, um I'll pick you up at seven, is that okay?"
"Sure, okay," I agreed. "But I'm not gonna wear a dress or anything like that." I didn't even have a dress!
Kyle laughed, "Yeah, it's cool. I don't care what you wear!"
I was giggling and I dropped my voice a little, "Really?" It was a mild tease and it made me feel a little sexy. "I might surprise you then!"
"Ummm…" Kyle wasn't sure what to say to that.
"See you tomorrow, Kyle," I whispered.
"Goodnight, Ann," Kyle said and neither one of us hung up the phone.
"Hang up!"
"You first!"
"Okay." I said and didn't do anything. About a minute later I finally told him, "I'm hanging up now."
"Alright."
"I'm going."
"Okay."
I laughed. I'd never played telephone games before; it was stupid but kind of fun. "Tell me you love me and I'll hang up."
"What?"
"Tell me you love me," I repeated slowly. "And I'll hang up."
"I love you," he said half a minute later. I giggled and hung up, feeling as happy as I'd ever felt in my life.
Three seconds later the phone rang and I grinned, grabbing it off the hook. "Kyle! What are you…"
"Kyle, huh?" a girl's voice chuckled softly in my ear. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Who's this?" I asked, feeling a bit put off by her words.
"It's Jane, silly. You told me I could call, remember?" She paused but not long enough to let me answer her, "Your phone's been busy for half an hour! What were you guys doing?"
"Oh, um, I was talking to someone," I frowned and wondered what she wanted.
"Is he cute?" Jane giggled.
"He's just a friend, okay?" I was feeling a little exasperated by her already and I considered hanging up, but then she'd call back I was sure.
"Guess where I am," Jane said playfully.
"I don't know," I didn't really care either, I didn't add.
"Come on, guess."
"Um, I don't know, your house?" Where else would she be at 9:30 on a Monday night?
"Yeeeeah…" she was leading me on. "But where in my house?"
"How would I know?" I laughed at her. "Ummm, the bathtub?"
"Nope," she giggled again. "Close though…I'm naked."
That was a little bit more than I needed to know.
Jane's voice was soft and sort of breathless, "I'm in bed."
"Oh," I didn't have much to say to that.
"I bet you really fucked Josh's cousin good, huh?" Jane wasn't giggling now and her words hit me like a little punch in my stomach. "We heard you guys doing it. We listened for five minutes before Mark rang the doorbell."
"Good for you," I muttered, feeling my body burning with embarrassment. It was one thing to know that Jane knew about Sandy and me, but it was another thing altogether to hear her talking about it.
"And when you opened the door…" Jane sighed softly. "You looked so sexy standing there."
I could barely breathe as I listened to Jane's voice in my ear. I'd been wearing nothing but my boxers and underneath those my strap-on dildo, pressing outward like a huge erection between my legs. I'd wanted to embarrass my brothers, shock them into realizing their mistake. I hadn't planned on giving Jane or her sister something to fantasize about!
"I'm touching myself just thinking about you. Rubbing my little pussy, fingering my tight wet cunt…" Jane was breathing harder and I had little doubt she was actually doing it. "Thinking about your hard little body on mine, your sweet tongue in my mouth…Mmmm…Do you want to fuck me, Ann?"
"I, uh…" I couldn't say anything.
My nipples itched and I could feel a dampness growing between my thighs as I listened to her. This wasn't right, I told myself. I didn't care about Jane Hudson at all. I wanted to hang up on her, just tell her I wasn't queer and slam the phone down. But I didn't. I had this image of her lithe body stretched out on a bed, her golden blonde hair and deep blue eyes, her pert breasts with pink bubblegum nipples and her pussy, covered with fine blonde hair, wet and gaping and begging for my strap-on cock. I shook my head but it wouldn't go away.
"You want to, don't you? I want it too. I bet you have a big cock. A big hard cock you could fuck me with…" she moaned gently, "…If you wanted to, Ann. You could do anything you want to me. What do you want to do, huh? God, I'm so wet right now. Are you getting wet? What do you want, Ann? Tell me…Make me cum…Tell me how you want to make me cum…"
Jane's voice was ragged and full of sexual energy. It was almost hypnotizing, listening to her get off while she talked about having sex with me. I wouldn't have imagined doing such a thing with a complete stranger! But Jane was doing it with me, and it was working too. My skin was hot but I had goose bumps at the same time, and my tummy felt like it was full of butterflies, their wings tickling me from the inside out. My nipples burned and I wanted to pinch them, but I didn't dare. My pussy was wet now, more than just damp, it was soaked and my clit was a sharp point of electric pleasure begging for attention.
"I want to fuck you…" I whispered, unable to help myself. I was falling down a hole and my head was spinning. "I want to make you cum all over my cock."
"Mmmm…Yeah…Fuck me, Ann. Close your eyes and imagine your cock inside me…Fucking me so good…Your tits rubbing against mine…My nipples are so hard right now…Bite them for me, suck my tits, Ann…Make me cum for you…Uhhh…Fuck yessss…I'm gonna cum…Make me cum…Oh!"
She was cumming, right then over the phone; Jane was fingering her pussy and cumming for me. I found my body had fallen into her rhythm, my breathing matching hers, my fingers unconsciously traveling down, between my legs to rub against my aching clitoris through my jeans. I was so close, somehow Jane had brought me to the edge and as I listened to her I could only close my eyes, trying to see her, trying to feel her body beneath mine. I was going to cum, standing there in the kitchen, talking to a girl I barely knew over the phone. I was cumming and I could hardly hold onto the phone as my soft cries carried over the wires to join with Jane's.
We just breathed into our phones for several long minutes. I felt deeply embarrassed and even a rush of guilt as my head slowly cleared and I thought about what I'd just done. I felt a little angry, maybe even somewhat used, although I wasn't sure how or why exactly. I halfway expected Jane to say something stupid, either intentionally or just because she wanted to sound cute, but she didn't.
"Thank you…" she was whispering. "That was amazing." She sounded sweet and sincere, maybe even a little vulnerable somehow and I forgot my anger immediately.
"Yeah," I agreed breathlessly. "It was good."
"Goodnight, Ann."
"Night, Jane," and that was all we said, as if Jane and I now had some unspoken agreement between us. But I had no idea what our new relationship was, I only knew it existed.
"I need my own phone," I whispered to myself and smiled until I looked down at myself. I'd really had a good orgasm. Not a great one, but pretty good and pretty wet. I could smell myself and worse, feel myself. Juices from my pussy had run down my thighs and it felt like I'd peed my pants sorta.
I just thanked God I hadn't gotten caught. It was a miracle, believe me, and nearly enough to make me believe in fate. Jane and I…Hmmm…My mind was wandering as I hurried up to the bathroom. I didn't like her, or at least I hadn't liked her before. She was a girl for one thing, and my brother's girlfriend for another, and…I didn't know.
How could I be excited about her? I didn't want to be, that was the thing. I didn't want to be attracted to her. I didn't want to have sex with her. Did I? We'd just had sex though and it had been pretty good. I hadn't fucked her physically, but mentally, and maybe more important – emotionally – I'd definitely fucked Jane. I couldn't deny that and she wouldn't forget it either, I was certain of that.
"So you got a boyfriend now, huh Russet?" Coach had me bench pressing 60 pounds while he spotted me. It wasn't a lot, I could lift it easy, but doing 5 sets of ten was tough towards the end.
"Ugggh…Huh…" I gave him a tiny nod. Three more, I told myself. Just three. "Ugghhh…"
"There you go boy, push it…" Coach smiled. His muscular legs were practically straddling my head and I saw the big bulge in his shorts looming over me. Concentrating on that made it easier for some reason. "Two more…One more…Good!" Coach helped me settle the weights down on the stand and I flexed my arms, feeling the ache in my chest and shoulders.
"So this boy," Coach grabbed my water bottle and handed it to me. "Is he queer like you?"
I laughed at that, "Ain't nobody queer like me, Coach." I felt a lot more comfortable around him, especially during the morning workouts. He was friendly and funny, and I could see a lot of his gruff was just for show.
"Not true," he smiled. "Queer is queer, don't matter much what you look like."
"You think so?" I tried to understand what he was saying. He had a lot more experience than I did, that was for sure.
"I know so," Coach picked up his clipboard and started writing something. He was charting my workouts, or so he'd told me, but hadn't really explained why. "Some guys are queer and they know it. Like you know it, Russet, and they're happy with that. Other people, well, they know they're queer, but they keep pretending they're not, especially to themselves."
"How's that?" I'd become convinced that Coach really believed I was a boy, and when I was around him I believed it too.
"Well they might suck a dick and say, 'Oh, I didn't really like it. I just did it cause I was drunk, or cause he made me do it. I ain't queer at all.' And they feel bad about it and cry a little maybe, but the next day they're thinking about it, wondering how come it is that they like suckin' dick so much if they ain't queer."
"Yeah," I nodded, mostly too myself because I was thinking about myself and Sandy and Jane. "What about being bisexual, Coach. What do you think about that?"
I was a little embarrassed asking him, but not too much. One thing I'd learned was that Coach never put a person down for asking a question; in fact he said that was the mark of real intelligence. I tended to think he was right.
"Bisexual?" Coach looked at me. "You got a girlfriend too?"
"Uhhh…Well, sort of," I smiled and felt my face turning red.
"Aw hell boy, that ain't anything to be worrying over. Good looking kid like you is gonna have a lot of pussy chasing his dick, I guarantee it. If you like it both ways, then you oughta be getting it both ways. I never had much use for a woman personally, but maybe I just never met the right one."
"So it's okay then?" I think I'd been worried Coach might have gotten mad or something, but he was way beyond a little thing like jealousy.
"Course its okay, otherwise we wouldn't have no babies!" Coach laughed. "Lot of daddies in this world suck dick, Russet. Don't mean they don't love their wives or girlfriends, just means they like some dick once in awhile too. I knew this young buck in the Corps, had a wife and three babies, all of 'em girls, and he loved 'em all…Yep, that boy was the best piece of ass I ever had, Russet." He grinned at me, "Next to yours that is. Now let's get some butterflies goin' or I'm gonna tap that ass of yours hard!"
What Coach had said made a lot of sense. I just had to change some of the wording around in my head so I could see how it applied to me. I just had to accept the fact that I didn't really mind having sex with Sandy, and I wouldn't mind having sex with Jane either, if it came to that. But Jane was going to have to understand that I wasn't going to be into everything a real lesbian might be into. Like having my pussy licked? No way! I hadn't even wanted Sandy to touch me down there, at least not directly. Sandy hadn't minded though, because she wanted me to be a boy for her. If only Jane was the same way, I thought…Wouldn't that be awesome?
I saw Coach again at football practice, of course, and before we started we had a little team meeting about me, which was surprising. We were all in the locker room, 19 boys, Coach, and me.
"I got some good news and I got some bad news," Coach started. "The bad news is that a few of you boys have been telling your friends about our star running back here," he clapped me on the shoulder pads. "How Russet ain't exactly one of the boys," he seemed to glower over us as he spoke and some of the guys were definitely shrinking a little.
"Now I gotta tell you I had a long chat with the principal today and I don't like talking to the principal. I don't like some pencil necked geek who never strapped on a helmet telling me how to run my team," Coach wasn't yelling, but it seemed like he was. "If ya'll want to lose this team. If you boys wanna end up playing field hockey with a bunch of dick skinners from Spokane, just keep it up. They'll shut us down and turn the field…Your field…Into a cow pasture. I don't know about you, but I don't want any cows shitting on my football field!"
Coach looked around at us like he expected someone to defend the local dairy council. We weren't even breathing though.
"More bad news. Russet ain't gonna be one of the boys no more. I told ya'll to keep yer yaps shut, didn't I? From now on she'll be using the girl's locker room and God help the first one of you that thinks he's gonna sneak in there for a look see at what he's all-a-sudden missing. She'll be dressing out in there, showering in there, and coming out clean and proper from now on," he glanced at me, looking like he might apologize, but he didn't.
"And now, just in case you were wondering, bad things do come in threes. Thanks to some of your teammates here we have a new assistant coach. She…" Coach stressed the word, looking around as he said it, "…She is Miss Haven and she'll be here every day starting tomorrow. Some of you probably know that Miss Haven is the school nurse, well when you see her tomorrow you'll call her Coach Haven, do you understand me?"
We nodded weakly and there were some scattered replies of "Yes sir."
"Now, the good news, and you already heard it. Russet is still on the team, thank goodness for that. We need her and anyone who don't believe me is either stupid or brain damaged. We need everyone in this here room if we're going to win some games this year. I want to win some games…A lot of games. So I'm gonna forget about who said what to who. I'm gonna forget I got my ass chewed by the principal. Hell, I'm even gonna forget I got a school nurse for my assistant. But what I ain't gonna forget is that we got a hell of a football team here. We got a scrimmage next week against Pipestone and then we got our first game a couple weeks after that against those boys down in Westwood. So we got a lot of work to do."
Coach looked around confidently, "Any questions?" There weren't any and he sent us on our way out to the field, everyone except me that is.
"Russet, hold on a sec," he grabbed me by the arm.
I wasn't sure how I was feeling right then. I was sorta gonna miss being in the boys locker room. I hadn't minded the stares and the whispering so much. Heck, I knew most of those kids since kindergarten anyways. But I felt bad cause it felt like the world was winning again. I was just a girl again and that kinda pissed me off.
What was the big deal about having tits? Or having a dick or not having one? What stupid planet were we living on anyway? And a woman for a coach? The school nurse? I knew Miss Haven, everyone did, and she was nice but I didn't imagine she knew an awful lot about football. She was just going to be there to baby-sit me. Even I could figure that out and it wasn't fair. I was 14 already and I could take care of myself. Coach thought so too, but his hands were tied. He was probably lucky he still had a job. If our school was in Seattle, or any other big city, he'd have been fired for sure. So I wasn't going to be blaming him.
"Sorry about this, Russet," Coach was telling me. "I got you your own key for the girl's locker room; just make sure you don't lose it. Go ahead and get your stuff, find yourself a locker and get moved in. There should be towels in there, if there ain't just let me know."
"It's okay Coach," I shrugged, or tried to under my pads. "Just so long as I can play, that's all I care about."
"You're a good boy, Russet, a good kid," Coach nodded approvingly. "I'm gonna miss giving you that special training though."
"Oh," I hadn't thought about that. I guess it was gonna be pretty tough sneaking into Coach's office now. "But uh, we can still work out, in the mornings, right?"
"Hell yeah, boy," Coach grinned at me. "That's a whole separate deal, just between you and me."
I smiled at that, I'd started enjoying those morning workouts, "I guess you have to find another special player though."
"Yeah," Coach agreed gently. "He won't be special like you though, Russet. No sir."
"Who's it gonna be?" I asked him as he turned to walk out of the locker room.
Coach just chuckled, "That's between him and me, boy. Him and me. You hurry up now, move your locker and get your ass on the field."
Well, I wasn't going to be learning man fucking from Coach anymore, at least not after football practice. I was regretting that, but the good thing was that at least I could shower and dress pretty quickly and for the first time I was the one waiting for Matt and Lance to get changed. I'd even bought them a couple sodas and handed them over as soon as they came through the doors. I hated that waiting though, let me tell you. It wouldn't seem like a big deal, but having to stand outside in the hallway while all your friends and teammates were inside…That sucked. It really made me feel like I was different suddenly.
"So you're really gonna go out with Kyle tonight, huh?" Lance asked me as we walked to our bikes.
"Yep," I drank what was left of my Coke down in two big gulps. "He's gonna pick me up at seven."
We'd already talked about this, all day long it seemed like. None of the guys seemed really upset about it, which was way cool. Even John had taken the news okay, although he hadn't said much about it. I made a mental note to spend more time with him. John was cool, he was just a little different from the rest of us.
"So, um, Friday you wanna come over to my house?" Matt asked and Lance looked at him, but didn't say anything.
"What? You having another sleepover?" I laughed. "Two weeks in a row?"
"Uh, no," Matt blushed a little. "I mean you said I could have the next date, right?"
"Oh," I said and gave a little silent 'EEEK!' in my head.
"She said I got the next date!" Lance said and that was exactly what I was afraid of.
"No she didn't…" Matt had stopped walking and so did Lance.
I stopped too and felt all my worst fears coming to life in front of me. "Hey! Shut up! Both of you…"
"But…" Lance tried to say something.
"I said shut up!" I glared at them. "First thing, we're friends, all of us, and if this is gonna be a problem I'll fix it right now. I'll call Kyle and tell him I can't go and I'll never go out with any of you, ever!" That was sort of a bluff, because I had no intention of doing that! Kyle would get seriously pissed at all of us, but especially Matt and Lance. "Okay?"
"Yeah," Lance nodded.
I looked at Matt and he nodded too, "Okay, sorry."
"Another thing, if you want to ask me out, just do it. Don't argue about it, or be pissed cause somebody asked me first. I'm not gonna forget any of you guys, okay? I want to have fun and be with my friends and that's all. If you guys can't handle it, then it isn't gonna be my problem. I'll find a guy who can handle it and that'll be that, you understand me?"
"Yeah, Jesus Ann, I just wanted to…" Matt always wanted to talk too much.
"You understand, Lance?" I cut Matt off, ignoring him.
"Yeah, I get it," he was looking down.
"Good," I congratulated myself. I'd been thinking of The Boz and what he'd told me. Maybe the world was more black and white than I'd imagined, I just needed to put my foot down more often.
"Now…" I turned to Matt, tilting my head and smiling at him. "…what did you want to ask me?"
"Um, well…" he glanced at Lance. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over Friday night. Just you and me and uh, well…"
"Like a date?" I teased him.
"Yeah," he grinned. "Like a date, except um, if you wanted to sleep over then…"
"Sleeping over on a date, huh?" I laughed because I'd slept at Matt's house a hundred times at least. "I don't know if my dad would like that."
"Well, I don't mean…" he was blushing and trying to figure out what he should be saying, "…um, I guess if you didn't want to…I mean…"
"Sure," I shrugged, like I hadn't noticed Matt's discomfort. "I'll just come over after football practice, huh?"
"Yeah," Matt nodded quickly. "I can get some movies if you want..."
"No zombies," I laughed. "If this is gonna be a date you have to get something new, okay?"
"Oh, sure," Matt would have agreed to anything right then.
We were walking again and Matt was happy, but Lance was plainly miserable. I sighed because I could feel this just wasn't working like it was supposed to. By the time we were on our bikes and pedaling home I still hadn't thought of a way to get through to them that I didn't want anything to change because of this new situation. Lance and Matt had been friends as long as any of us; we were the original three going back more than ten years. If those two couldn't find a way to get over this, then Kyle and John didn't stand a chance.
"Are you mad, Lance?" I finally decided I had to say something. I was almost home and the guys had another ten minutes riding together after that. The last thing I needed was a fight between Matt and Lance after they dropped me off.
"No," he said quietly. "I just wanted to ask you out too, that's all."
"On Friday night?" I asked him. Matt just listened, pedaling ahead of us a little. He'd already won the battle, so he could afford to be gracious, I thought, a little unfairly.
"Yeah," Lance shrugged. "It's okay though."
"Well, I'm free Saturday," I smiled at him. "How about if I ask you out?"
"Huh?" Lance looked at me finally and saw my smile. "You want to ask me out?" he even smiled a little too.
"Sure, why not?" I swerved a little around a pothole. "So, how about it? You want to go out with me Saturday night?"
"Yeah, sure," he was definitely getting happier and he straightened up a little more on his bike. "What do you want to do?"
"I dunno," I grinned. "I'll think about it, okay?"
"Yeah," he grinned back. "Hey Matt, guess what!"
"Yeah, yeah…" Matt laughed and they were friends again. I really hoped I wouldn't be doing this all the time!
I was debating what to wear for my date with Kyle. I'd never been on a date and it was sort of frustrating. I mean I knew I was gonna be dressed pretty much like usual, meaning like any other 14 year old boy, but what was I gonna wear? I'd never thought about it before.
I finally just ran out of time. It was like ten minutes before seven and I was standing there in my underwear, a pair of boxers with Tony the Tiger on them, and socks, and nothing else. I heard Kyle's car outside and I grabbed an old pair of faded Levi's and a boy scout shirt that had been Mark's for about three weeks before he'd gotten bored with scouting. It was like new and pretty cool with the patches and stuff. I started getting dressed when I decided that if I was going on a date with a guy, no matter who it was, he was gonna have to realize that I was a guy too. That meant I needed a cock. It made me a little nervous, as you can imagine, but even if Kyle found out somehow that I was wearing my strap-on, at least he wouldn't laugh…Or so I hoped.
I put it on under my boxers and pulled on my pants, adjusting it so my dick showed a little, but not too much, although when I sat down to put on my boots it was definitely visible on the inside of my left thigh. It looked like I had a cucumber stuffed down my jeans. But Kyle was already downstairs, talking with Daddy or my brothers, and I just got dressed quickly, not bothering with a t-shirt or even tucking in my scout shirt.
"Hey!" I called out as I came down the stairs.
"Hi," Kyle looked nice, a little nicer than I'd expected, with khaki pants and a nice shirt under his unzipped leather jacket. It was one of those simple kind, not too many zippers or buttons or anything, and soft and supple. It was a cool jacket and I wished I had one.
"So you're going to see a movie, huh?" my dad was there, leaning against his rifle cabinet, but I didn't think he was doing it to intimidate Kyle. So far as anyone knew we were just doing best friend stuff, not going out on my very first date.
"Yeah," I felt a little shabby being dressed like I was, now that I'd seen Kyle. I shoulda put on corduroys or something. "Is it getting cold out?" I asked Kyle.
"Not really," Kyle shrugged. "Might get chilly though."
"Better grab a jacket," my dad suggested. "And don't forget, you got school tomorrow. What'd you get on your report for that art class, anyway?"
"I don't know yet. I'll be right back," I turned and headed upstairs, to grab my Seahawks jacket and maybe change my pants, but I didn't.
All I did was tuck in my shirt and put the jacket on. That looked a little better at least. All that worrying over how I looked, Jesus, I wondered if that was the girl part of me, or did boys worry about that stuff too? I knew my brothers always asked each other if they looked okay before a date, but I didn't notice them agonizing over it either. It was more like just asking for a little confirmation of what they already knew – they looked fine, and if they didn't, too bad. I was more like, how do I look? Terrible? Oh crap!
I would have laughed if it hadn't been so pathetic. God! It was only Kyle and he was gonna like me no matter what I was wearing, or at least that's what he'd said. He didn't know what I was wearing between my legs, and that at least made me smile.
"What are you smiling at?" Greg came into the room just as I was ready to walk out.
"Nothing," I gave him a little kiss as I walked by, just cause I wanted to. I usually didn't kiss any of my brothers except on their birthdays maybe. I was definitely feeling weird.
It was weird being on a date with Kyle, that was for sure. I mean we were best friends and we knew everything about each other. But instead of talking like we normally would, we just sort of sat there in his car, driving down the road and not saying anything. I don't have a lot of patience though and I especially hate being uncomfortable. I'd rather be mad than uncomfortable, or even sad if that was my other choice. At least I'd have a reason for those, but there didn't seem to be any good reason at all for sitting there nervous and being uncomfortable.
"What are you thinking about?" I finally asked Kyle, turning my head to look at him.
"Nothing," he put on a vaguely innocent look.
"Nothing at all?" I asked with obvious disbelief.
"Um, nope," he smiled and just stared straight ahead.
"Okay," I rolled my eyes and sat there in the dim glow of the headlights and twiddled my thumbs. If all my dates with my best friends were gonna be like this one I was gonna have just four of them, I thought miserably. They'd never get another.