Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Part Two
I spent my first two years in the Air Force at school. All kinds of schools, the biggest of which was flight training. I wanted to be a fighter jock, like everyone else, but I didn't make the cut, although it was close. I ended up flying FB-111's my first tour and I was one busy lieutenant. Between learning the aircraft and getting my hours, to simulator time, to more leadership training, plus having to baby-sit a couple dozen airmen, it didn't leave a whole lot of time for fun and games.
This was right after Vietnam too, so everyone it seemed had medals and ribbons and stories to tell, except for me of course. I was kind of disillusioned with it all really. Morale was low, the equipment wasn't in the best shape, we had a high turnover in people with experience, recruiting was down, and on and on and on. I was in California then, up near San Francisco, and very lonely. Letters from Heather and the memories they brought back sustained me for awhile and I'd met a girl through one of the guys I worked with. Her name was Janice and she was nice, to be sure, attractive and fun, but not exactly what I was interested in.
San Francisco has always been on the edge, as everyone knows, maybe it's that mindset that the whole place could slide into the Pacific at any moment, I don't know. I'd found a few clubs that seemed geared towards transvestites and transsexuals, but they were notoriously gay and I only ventured in a couple times, figuring I could plead innocence if anyone caught me. I'd have a couple beers and check out the girls and then beat a hasty retreat. I was a bit of a coward, I admit.
I was also horny as hell. I'd seen some extremely attractive t-girls, I'll call them that, because really it was impossible to tell if they were pre-op transsexuals, or just amazingly adept transvestites. Either way, there were more than a few who absolutely knocked my socks off and that was what kept bringing me back. I'd get excited enough on these little visits to go back to Janice and make love, closing my eyes and imagining she were a t-girl and that almost made it bearable. As you can imagine, after six months or so of this I was just about going crazy.
One place was called The Gold Rush, although it has long since been closed down. It was a very large club and a popular place, especially on the weekends because they always had things like beauty contests, wet t-shirt contests, and the like. I used to go in and pretty much keep to myself, just looking around and having a beer or two. I was always nervous and a little self-conscious, but I probably didn't need to be. There were probably 300 people in there on a good busy night, maybe a hundred of them dressed, and the most of the rest patently gay, usually in the loud and proud style. But there were always a few guys like me here and there, very normal looking, not gay at all. At least outwardly.
It was maybe my 8th or 9th time in the place over several months that I finally just had to talk to one of the girls. This was more out of need, than any newfound nerve. I've never been very shy, I always figured the worst that can happen is nothing. Anyway, there was one particular girl I'd noticed almost every time I'd come in and sometimes she was with someone, sometimes not. A few times previously she'd come close to me as I sat at the bar and we'd said hello, but that was it. This night it looked like she was alone, but I'd seen guys talking to her, and she'd smile and shake her head, and they'd leave. So maybe she was waiting for someone.
It was still relatively early, around 8pm and the place didn't pick up until about 10 usually, so I figured if I was going to do it, this would be the best chance I'd get. She was tall, maybe 5'10 in her heels, with lustrous dark hair that fell in waves around her pretty face. She had high cheekbones and a small little mouth with soft pouting lips. I always liked that kind of look for some reason. Her eyes were soft brown and very expressive, which I also liked. Her body was great and she'd had some breast implants, because I'd seen her a few times in the wet t-shirt contest, and they were nice C cups, with hard little nipples that were dark and sexy. She couldn't have weighed more than 130lbs, if even that much, and her stomach was flat and her hips nice and round. If you saw her on the street it would never even occur to you that she was a guy.
But she had a cock, that was for sure, because the fun thing about a t-girl wet t–shirt contest is that it's also a wet thong contest and they use very thin cotton panties that become just as transparent as their t-shirts, if not more so. It can be incredibly sexy seeing a beautiful woman soaking wet so her breasts strain against her shirt and then look down to see the all too visible size and shape of her cock straining against her panties. Some of them were obviously better endowed than others, and this girl was pretty good. I didn't know how functional she was of course, taking a lot of female hormones can really cut down on a t-girl's ability to get hard and maintain it. But that was alright too, I didn't particularly require her to be hard as a rock to enjoy being with her, although a lot of guys do.
I made my way over to where she was sitting at the bar and I was smiling a little nervously, I suppose. I was dressed nicely and I looked good, I knew, being in the Air Force wasn't the most physical thing in the world, but I ran a lot, spent a lot of time in the gym, and it showed. I was 25 then, but still had my boyish good looks and a really sincere smile that's gotten me out of a lot of trouble. So I felt reasonably confident when I said hello.
"Hi." She smiled up at me and her voice was nice, very feminine and not at all forced. I'd noticed that before and it was another reason I found myself drawn to her instead of some of the others. She didn't need to whisper, or adopt some weak falsetto, she was very natural.
"I was wondering if I could buy you a drink." I offered and I wouldn't have been totally surprised if she turned me down, but I was very glad when she didn't.
"Sure, that would be great." She nodded and her eyes were bright. "Maybe we could sit over there." She gestured to an empty little booth and I took her hand, helping her stand up. She was wearing a little red miniskirt and a loose tank top with an orange bikini underneath it.
"Are you going to be in the contest tonight?" I asked her. It was a swimwear contest tonight and she nodded and said she was. "Well, I hope you win then."
"Thanks." A waitress brought our drinks and we sipped them a moment before I remembered my manners.
"My name is David."
"I'm Susan." We shook hands gently and I loved the way her fingers felt, small and delicate. "It's nice to meet you finally." She gave me a little grin.
"What do you mean?" I asked, smiling myself although I wasn't sure why.
"Because I've been waiting about a month for you to say something to me."
"Really?" I sat a little straighter in surprise. "I didn't think you even noticed me." I laughed a little.
"Oh there's a few girls here that have noticed you, some guys too." Susan took another sip. "I was beginning to wonder if you were a cop."
"What?" That really did surprise me. "Why would you think that?"
"Just the way you look, the hair I guess. And the way you just hang out for a little bit and leave. I've never seen you talk to anyone."
"I guess I'm just shy." I grinned.
"So are you a cop?" Susan laughed at me.
"No." I shook my head. "I'm in the Air Force." I leaned close and said it kind of quietly. "This place is kind of off limits, so…" I shrugged. "I don't usually stay too long."
"Oh. I see." She nodded. "My brother is in the navy, he hates it."
"Yeah, me too sometimes." I answered. "Hey, I know this is really fast, but uh, do you think you'd like to go to dinner with me sometime?"
"I'd love to go to dinner with you." She smiled. "Anytime."
"Wow…okay…Mmmm..." I looked at my watch.
"Sure." Susan giggled and grabbed my wrist, giving me a little squeeze. "Let's go."
"Do you always read minds?" I chuckled as we stood up.
Susan let me put my arm around her narrow waist as we started walking. "No. I'm much better with body language!" She gave me a little smirk and I was feeling pretty good right then.
She retrieved her purse and a men's leather jacket complete with silver buttons, buckles and zippers. I helped her into it and the effect was tough and sexy and suited her perfectly, I thought. Combined with her miniskirt, the jacket really set off Susan's long tanned and toned legs, and her ass looked incredible. It pushed and pulled against her skirt seductively, tempting me in ways the devil himself couldn't have imagined. But it was Susan's smile and the way her eyes drew me into it, that really made my heart flutter.
We took a taxi for the short drive to Chinatown, leaving my Mustang where it was. One thing about San Francisco – you never give up your parking place if you don't have to! And besides, it gave me just a little more time to focus on Susan, sitting close beside her in the backseat.
During the evening we talked a lot. It was a relief to find Susan every bit as intelligent and engaging as she was beautiful. Perhaps I'm biased, but I will say from my own experience that the most successful transgender people, men or women, are often very smart, very imaginative and expressive. And when I say successful, I don't just mean passing physically, but adjusting emotionally and socially, which can be much more difficult. I can honestly say that at that point in my life I had no idea how lucky I'd been. With Denise, Marie, and most especially with Heather, I'd been with people who were reasonably happy and making progress towards where they needed to be in life. This wouldn't always be the case.
But Susan…She was another lucky break for me, without a doubt. She was 24 and had been living as a female since she was just sixteen, when she'd run away from home. She told me how she'd always known she was a girl and how her parents had tried to deal with that, largely unsuccessfully. Susan didn't go into great detail, but I could sense there were still issues there. She'd come to San Francisco and found herself living with a succession of boyfriends, all bears, as she called them. Very macho sort of gay men and none of them interested in Susan as a transsexual. She was pretty unhappy for a long time, very confused because she obviously didn't feel comfortable in the straight world and it seemed she wasn't going to find what she needed in the gay community either.
I listened patiently, really wanting to understand and Susan appreciated that, I think. She was opening up quite a bit more than either of us expected, but maybe that was what she needed.
Eventually Susan had come into a small circle of male to female transgender people, about a dozen she told me, some of whom were like she had been, just taking the first baby steps towards an uncertain goal. Others had gone so far as breast implants and legal name changes, and at least one woman had gone through the full sex change operation. This small community became Susan's whole world and she basically hid herself away until she was comfortable with whom she was. Comfortable enough to live and work every day as a woman in the straight world.
She'd changed her name, had spent almost every penny she had on breast implants, and was in the process of being screened into a sexual reassignment program sponsored by USC-Berkley. That was her biggest worry, Susan confided to me. She needed to be accepted to get her sex changed and even if she was, it would still be frightfully expensive. This was late summer 1976 and while the university would absorb more than half the costs, it would still leave her with some 35 grand or so in medical bills.
Listening to Susan talk was a real eye-opener for me. I'd never really considered all the problems someone like Susan faced. I mean I'd spoken with Heather quite a lot, but our focus had been largely on emotional things. Here now, with Susan, the emotional stuff was there, but compounded enormously by the tangible, physical problems –the monetary problems, to put it bluntly. Her hormone therapy, for example, cost nearly as much every month as her rent did.
Having said all that, I imagine someone might think Susan was just digging for gold, looking for someone to support her. But really, while we spoke I never got that impression from her at all. She wasn't trying to prostitute herself out in any way, nor was she expecting anything from me other than polite interest and understanding. Our conversation was nowhere near as deliberate and straightforward as I might have suggested. It was meandering and enjoyable and by the end of our dinner I was finding myself quite enamored of her and I think the feeling was mutual. I'd told her about my life, growing up, and about my experiences with former girl friends, real girls and otherwise. Marie seemed to baffle Susan a little, but she nodded appreciatively when I spoke of Denise and Heather.
We ended up walking around Chinatown for a long while. Susan told me it was her favorite part of the city and I'd never been there before. It was very enjoyable, probably because I had my arm around Susan's waist the whole time. She was beautiful and funny and it felt so right to be with her.
"I've figured it out." Susan said suddenly, pausing in front of store selling oriental carpets. They were beautiful and exotic behind the big plate glass window, but I barely noticed.
"What's that?" I smiled and turned to her, my hands lightly on Susan's hips.
"You're not playing a role." She said seriously. "Are you?" Susan's deep brown eyes were shining.
"No." I shook my head, not really understanding her. "I don't think so."
Susan took my hand and we started walking again, slowly. "I've had a couple…boyfriends." She sort of hesitated on the word. "Over the last year or so."
"Okay." I shrugged. Susan hadn't really talked about her recent love history and while I was curious, I was trying to play it casual too, you know.
"Well, what I mean is that they were gay, those guys." She gave my hand a little squeeze. "They pretended that they were straight though. That I was a real woman and they were real men." She giggled just a little and it sounded wonderful.
"I don't…" I started talking but Susan cut me off.
"But you, Dave. You're not pretending, are you? I'm a woman, aren't I? To you." She'd stopped again and she was looking into my eyes and my heart was doing flip-flops in my chest.
"Yes." I smiled. "You are a woman, Susan. The most beautiful woman I've ever met." I did the only thing I could do then – I kissed her. A soft light kiss on her lips, brief and tender and chaste, the way a first kiss should be.
When I pulled back from it, Susan's eyes were wide and she blinked several times. At first I thought I'd done something wrong, but then I saw a little wetness in the corners, threatening to spill down her cheeks.
"Do that again." She whispered and when I did, Susan wrapped her arms tightly around me, parting her lips for my tongue and we kissed deeply for a long minute.
Someone spoke something in Chinese to break the spell and we both looked around a little self-consciously, and then laughed at ourselves. There were dozens of people all around us, of course, people who lived and worked there, as well as the tourists. Some staring, but most assiduously ignoring us. I forced myself to let Susan go and she did the same, taking my hand again as we started walking.
"What do you think he said?" I asked Susan, tilting my head close to hers. Her hair smelled wonderful.
"Um…I think he was telling us to get a room." She grinned at me and I think I blushed just a little.
I was sorely tempted to take that ball and run with it, but I was desperate not to ruin a good thing. Susan didn't seem to be looking for quick sex and at that point, neither was I.
"Do you want to go back to the club?" I glanced at my watch, it was nearly ten already.
A brief look of something, disappointment maybe. Or relief, I couldn't be sure, passed over Susan's lovely face. "No, not really." She hooked her arm through mine.
"But the bikini contest…" I gave her a boyish grin.
"Ohhh…" Susan giggled and rolled her eyes.
I laughed and we walked a few minutes in silence. "Hey." I looked at her, getting serious for a moment. "Do you want to see my airplane?"
Susan stopped and turned to me. "I thought you'd never ask." She replied with a smile playing at the corners of her pouting little mouth.
I kissed her again, quickly because I just had to, and waved at a taxi. We went back to the Gold Rush, but only to climb into my car for the long drive to the base. It was a white Mustang convertible that my Dad had gotten me when I'd graduated college. I loved it and drove with the top down every chance I got, but San Francisco is a chilly place and I thought Susan's legs must have been getting cold, so I left the top up.
"Nice car." Susan smiled as I pulled into traffic, heading towards the Oakland Bay Bridge.
"Are you cold? I can turn on the heater." I reached over to put my hand on her thigh, just above the knee. It wasn't really intentional, I did it without thinking, but I caught Susan's smile as she looked down and put her hand on top of mine.
"No, I'm fine now." She said, looking up.
We talked mostly about me on the way to the base, about what my plans were for the future. I was afraid I was boring her, but Susan seemed interested. She asked a lot of questions and I didn't have answers to a lot of them. It was maybe the first time anyone or anything had made me ask myself what I was doing, where I wanted to be in 2 or 5 or 10 years. Of course Susan lived with planning her life like that, she had to. She couldn't just get by with living from day to day the way most of us do. Not for the first time that night, and far from the last time in our relationship, Susan had found the simplest and easiest means to teach me something about myself. And through that, I was learning more about her as well.
As I was turning off the freeway onto the exit for the base a sudden and terrible thought occurred to me. There was no problem with bringing a visitor onto the base, as an officer I could do it virtually any time I wanted and on a Saturday night the officer's club was full of pretty young visitors. But Susan would have to be logged into the visitor log that the guards kept. That would mean she'd need to show some identification, something with a picture on it. I tried to think of a way to ask Susan if she had one. I mean popping out a driver's license with her birth name, which I didn't even know, and a man's picture would be a little hard to explain.
"Uh, Susan…" I started, hoping like hell I wasn't about to completely embarrass her. "You'll have to show some ID at the gate." I swallowed nervously. "Like a driver's license, or a…"
"Oh, I have one." She smiled at me.
"Uh, what I mean is…"
"I know." Susan reached over and rubbed my leg reassuringly. "I had my name changed, remember?"
"Oh." I gave a little sigh. "I'm sorry, I just didn't want you to be embarrassed or anything." That was only part of the truth, I was worried about myself as well, and Susan saw through it immediately, as I suppose anyone would.
"Dave." She squeezed my leg so I looked over at her. "I understand, okay?" I nodded dumbly. "What matters to me is you didn't think of it until now." She giggled. "I like that."
"Oh." I smiled and laughed at myself.
"Besides." Susan leaned close and I felt her breath in my ear. "You're cute when you're worried." Then she kissed me as I turned towards the gate.
There was a sergeant on the gate and he saluted me smartly as he checked my military ID. Susan smiled at that and then at the young man as he retrieved his clipboard with the visitor log and asked for Susan's driver's license. He could barely take his eyes off of her long enough to write her name down and his voice had a nervous edge to it as he thanked her, returning her license and asked me where we were going.
"Flight line and the O-club." I told him and he wrote it down, saluted again and waved us through.
"He was cute." Susan was giggling.
"He was drooling." I shook my head.
"Aw, don't be too hard on him. Next time I'll wear something a little less…"
"Red?" I grinned at her.
"…Sexy." She laughed and leaned close to me, giving me a little hug as we made our way slowly across the base.
"Oh, I hope not!" I resisted the urge to kiss her, deciding I needed to keep at least some bit of concentration on the road.
I was with a Tactical Bomb Wing at that time and we were going through our training cycle before deploying to Europe. There were sentries around the flight line and hangers, of course, but not as many as you might expect. We had no live ordnance, after all, and it wasn't a SAC base, thank God. So while visitors were officially frowned upon at the flight line, in practice it was the first place everyone wanted to see. Especially the women. When I was in flight school, and my class was all male I might add, one of our instructors had quipped that the Wright brothers had invented the airplane just to get in their girlfriends' panties. Pilots, and devious mechanics, had been doing the same thing ever since.
I parked near the hanger that served as my home away from home. My office was in there and more importantly my aircraft was parked on the tarmac just outside. The airman on duty wasn't sleeping, luckily for him, and he jumped when he saw me coming through the door. He saluted and was about to speak when he saw Susan come in behind me, holding my hand and looking around at the huge empty space.
"Good evening, sir." He finally said, without taking his eyes off Susan's legs.
"Good evening, Jeffries." I nodded. "Everything okay?"
"Y-Yes sir." He nodded and stared as Susan gave him a little smile.
"Good. I'm going to show my airplane to my friend here." I led Susan towards another door.
"Do you want me to get the lights, lieutenant?" The airman asked and I told him no, we'd be fine in the dark. Susan giggled at that and gave the boy a little wave. "Uh, yes sir."
Susan leaned close, both of her arms wrapped around mine. "Are we bad?" Her soft voice was full of good humor and I just chuckled.
"Okay." I paused at the door. "Now I have to tell you, Susan…"
"Yes?" She looked at me curiously.
"I don't show my airplane to just anyone." I kept my face serious, but my eyes were giving me away, I'm sure.
"You mean you don't bring all your dates out here?" She grinned. "In the dark?"
"No." I shook my head solemnly.
"So I'm special." Susan said, with a twinkle in her eye. "Or…your airplane is." She put on a little frown of mock jealousy so I kissed her gently, knowing Jeffries was watching from his desk but not caring in the least.
"You both are." I said softly and it was Susan's turn to kiss me, deeper this time with a hint of the passion we were doing our best to hide.
"Then introduce us." Susan breathed, licking her lips and staring into my eyes.
Outside there were eight aircraft lined up neatly in a row, mine was pretty much in the middle. Susan seemed suitably impressed as we walked along and it made me feel good to answer her questions. I had to laugh when she told me she thought they were beautiful, that wasn't a word usually associated with the FB-111 and they were called Aardvark's for a reason. I showed her around my plane, telling her how the wings moved back when we needed speed, and swept forward when we needed lift. Under the left canopy window my name was painted: Capt. David "Rowdy" Yates and behind that my WCO's name: Capt. Gregory "Otter" Jones.
"Rowdy?" Susan smiled at me.
"Yeah, everybody gets a call-sign, like a nickname. Rowdy Yates was a guy on an old TV show, so I got tagged with that." I shrugged. "You don't get to pick your own, that's bad luck."
"Uh-huh. And your…copilot? Otter?"
"Greg's my weapons control officer, we call them wacko's. I do the driving, he just complains a lot." I grinned. "We call him Otter because he's from Oklahoma. If he was here he'd be saying something like ‘That skirt otter be illegal missy!'" I spoke in my best Okie accent, giving Susan's legs a hungry stare while she laughed at me.
"Oh, I'm sure he's great." She smiled. "I thought you guys had naked girls or something painted on your airplanes."
"Yeah, during the war they did. But not anymore. This plane was called ‘Maybe Later' and had a blonde waving over her shoulder. We have a picture of it in the office." I reached up, tapping the underside of the plane's big nose. "It was right up there. Maybe someday I can put ‘Sexy Susan' up there." I teased gently.
"Hmmm…Just don't start any wars for me, okay?" She put her arms around me, giving me a warm squeeze. "And that's your cockpit? Up there?" Susan was grinning as well and I nodded.
"That's it. I sit on the left and Otter sits on the right. Do you want to get in?"
"Can I?" Her soft brown eyes went a little wide, and then she spoke a little softer. "Is there room for two?"
"Well, it was made for two." I laughed, missing her point entirely.
"No, silly! I mean is there room for two…in there?" She pointed up at the pilot's seat.
"Uh, I don't know. It would be a pretty tight fit." I looked at Susan. "You'd have to sit on my lap."
She grinned at me. "I can do that and who knows…" She lowered her voice. "…you might just like a tight fit."
"I just might." I said, feeling my heart skip a few beats. "Okay, uh, follow me. Just watch your step on the ladder, okay? We should leave our jackets down here, you can leave your purse too, and nobody will bother it." All the aircraft had a roll-away next to them, little ladders the aircrews used to get up high enough to use the little toe-holds built into the aircraft itself. I went up first, getting the canopy open and settling into my familiar seat. There really wasn't very much room, but I thought we might just manage.
Susan came up slowly, but had little difficulty despite her heels. It took a bit of maneuvering, sort of like playing twister on a tightrope, before she was able to slide down onto my lap. My legs were spread as far as they could go and hers were inside mine, spread around the joystick that jutted out of the floor. She settled down with a little squirm, working her ass back and forth and I knew her skirt was spread around her hips, leaving just her bikini bottoms against my crotch. It wasn't long before I felt a throbbing in my penis as it swelled in my trousers.
I lit off the avionics so the instruments bathed us in a soft greenish glow. I thumbed the canopy, since it was a cool night and we'd left our jackets on the tarmac. I told Susan to watch her head, but I needn't have worried, there was plenty of headroom. It buttoned down tight and we were alone in my multi-million dollar aircraft. I was pointing out what the buttons and dials and controls all did, trying to remain somewhat calm despite a growing hard-on that was almost becoming painful. My arms were around her, by necessity and I gave up trying not to hug this beautiful woman.
Susan turned her head and then we were kissing as if our lives depended on it. All of the desire we'd been holding back for the past few hours came boiling out and it was wonderful. I slipped my hands along her waist, under her top and up so I could cup her breasts in my hands. She was wearing her bikini but that offered scan protection from my gentle exploration. I felt her nipples hardening through the thin material as our tongues played across each other's lips. Moving by feel I soon had her bikini pulled up, over her breasts so I could feel the soft warm weight of them in my hands. Susan moaned softly, wriggling her ass even more as I massaged her large firm tits gently.
My cock was straining by now, pressing into the crack of Susan's ass and it was almost unbearable. My own hips began moving of their own accord, dry humping the sexy transsexual in my lap. I'd spent most of the night trying to take it slow, and I think Susan had also, but those thoughts were fading fast. All I could think of was how badly I wanted to make love to her, to feel my cock inside her gorgeous body. We were still kissing, like teenagers at a drive-in movie, when I felt her pull away slightly.
"Take it out, Dave." Susan breathed. "I want it so bad." She spoke between soft kisses. "I want you inside me." She was doing something with her hands, untying the strings on her bikini bottoms until she tossed them on the throttle controls to our left.
I'd been busy too, working at my zipper, trying to pull my stiff penis free until it jutted upward, pressing against Susan as she settled back down. She pulled her skirt up so we could see my cock erect between her legs, with the shaft pressing against her own semi-hard cock. I could feel the silky soft warmth of her balls and every time we moved the sensation was delightful.
I brought my hands back to Susan's breasts, pinching and pulling the nipples and making her gasp. I put my mouth to her ear. "Put me in, Susan. I want to make love to you." I kissed and licked at her ear as she nodded; lifting herself slightly and then I felt her fingers around my cock, bringing me to her tight little ass.
Susan licked her fingers a little, trying to lubricate herself somewhat, but I knew this was going to be pretty dry at first. I hoped it would be okay for her and I was going to say something, but Susan wanted it every bit as much as I did. She pulled the head of my swollen cock to her anus and I felt her pushing down, slowly at first, groaning slightly as my hardness split her resistance. I tried not to move, letting her take her own time and it was hard not to grab her by the hips and just slam my cock inside her.
She must have felt the same way, or at least sensed my impatience, because soon after my cockhead popped into her amazingly tight hot ass, Susan pushed herself down with a soft high-pitched yelp of pain and pleasure. I was suddenly buried completely in her wonderful ass and the sensation almost made me cum immediately. Her muscles squeezed my cock like a velvet fist, seeming to pull and push at the same time. I dug my fingers into Susan's tits, my mouth on her neck and cheek and ear, telling her over and over again how incredible it felt for me.
"Yesss…" Susan hissed with agreement and she rolled her hips tentatively, as if testing the waters before really starting to ride my cock. She turned her head, Susan's mouth finding mine as we began making love in earnest. Her ass was moving all over now, in little circles, up and down, back and forth. It must have felt really great for her because she couldn't seem to stop even if she'd wanted to. For me it was pure heaven, my cock buried in her beautiful ass, my hands full of her firm ripe tits. She sucked my tongue like it was a cock and she had one arm up so her hand could cradle my head, her fingers playing in my hair.
It was only a few too short minutes of that before I felt myself ready to explode. "Susan…if you don't slow down…" I breathed. "I'm going to cum, baby…"
"Yeah…" Susan giggled breathlessly. "Do it…cum inside me…cum for me Dave…"
Her soft voice, punctuated with gasps and moans, was enough to set me off and then I did grab her by the hips, pulling Susan down hard onto my cock as it erupted. My balls seemed to jump into my stomach and my cock swelled even more than it already was when I felt that first unbelievable spasm. I held Susan tight, shooting jet after jet of my hot cum deep into her sexy ass.
We ended up that night at my place, which was a small apartment just off the base. It wasn't much, but it was furnished and inexpensive and better than living in the junior officer quarters. We made love several times, taking small naps in between until she or I would wake up and start it all over again with a kiss or gently touch. Susan didn't mind when I touched her flaccid penis, she was rarely able to achieve erection, and she told me. "But that doesn't mean I'm not excited!" She whispered and then giggled, because she plainly enjoyed our sex at least as much as I did.
Susan and I went on a number of dates in the weeks that followed, and each time we'd end up at my apartment and those visits became longer and longer until it seemed only logical that Susan should move in with me. I brought it up one evening as we were laying in bed, our arms around each other and my very hard and hot cock pressing against hers, somewhat softer but just as warm. I could feel Susan's nipples, hard against my chest and I moved my fingers along her smooth soft back, down to her perfect ass, squeezing and pulling her even harder against me.
"Mmmm…" Susan sighed. "I don't think I can ever get enough of this." Her soft brown eyes stared into mine and I smiled.
"I hope not! God, you are so sexy…" I kissed her lightly. "In fact, I was thinking maybe, um…well…if you wanted to you could, uh…move in." It hadn't come out quite as smooth as I'd intended. "I mean…"
"You mean move in here?" She smiled and I nodded. "Ummm…I don't know. I like you a lot Dave, but we just met, really, and…"
"I know. Yeah, I just meant you could bring some things over and, uh, not give up your place or anything. Just…well, you're here a lot anyway and…"
Susan laughed at me. "I'd love to, yes, but…" she sighed. "It's a long ways from where I work and..."
And that was how I ended up moving. I had a car, Susan didn't, and I didn't mind driving an hour or more back and forth twice a day. Not if it meant coming home to her. It was my first experience with living with someone. I'd shared rooms of course, my dorm in college and at flight school. But that was a lot different than actually living with someone, sharing a life together. I was as happy as I'd ever been in my life and I think Susan was too.
If there was a fly in the ointment it was Susan's need to become a complete woman. She felt very uncomfortable if I gave her penis any attention at all. It was okay if we ignored it, if we didn't really talk about it. But for me it was just a part of her that made her truly unique, part of my attraction for her physically. At first she would apologize for not being functional, feeling very self-conscious when I'd touch or kiss her there. I assured her that it was unimportant to me, that I could enjoy being with her regardless of her ability to get hard or ejaculate.
"Wouldn't you like me better if I didn't have it though?" She was referring to her penis, and her balls, of course.
If ever there was a loaded question, that was it, and for me it was proof positive that Susan was a woman. Whatever my answer might be, depending on her mood, it was the wrong one. My own personal preference was that I liked it. I thought she was incredible sexy, especially during those impromptu moments, like when she was changing her clothes, or coming in or out of her bath, or even just sleeping. Those times when Susan forgot about her maleness and moved with the natural grace of a woman, but revealed that she was something more…at least to me. It never failed to arouse me.
One night, after I'd spent two weeks up in Canada training with the RCAF, I arrived home. I'd missed Susan terribly even though we'd talked on the phone nearly every night, which most often ended with me jerking off while she whispered across the thousands of miles all the things she wanted me to do to her.
I found her dressed in short-shorts and a cut-off t-shirt, folding laundry and unless you're in love, you have no idea how sexy that can be. Even without makeup or fancy clothes, just one look was all it took for me. Susan smiled when she saw me, but didn't move, she just stood, letting me look at her for a moment before I walked in, dropping my bags on the floor and crossing the room to take her in my arms.
"I've missed you so much." I breathed as I felt her mouth on mine and both of our hands were everywhere, touching and holding each other.
"I've missed you too." She whispered and I felt her fingers slipping inside my uniform, into my trousers to find my swelling penis.
I had my hands on her ass, loving the way Susan's firm round behind stretched the material and pressed outward as I ran my fingers down her crack. We weren't going to make it into the bedroom, and that was fine for us. We pushed and pulled and stumbled our way into the living room and onto the floor. She was so beautiful, so utterly feminine; I pulled her t-shirt up as she cradled my face to her breasts. I tongued and sucked at her nipples while Susan freed my now aching cock.
"Suck it for me….Ohhh….God yes!" I was moaning as Susan dipped her head down, pulling her bod away from me so that she could take my hard cock into her warm wet mouth. It felt so wonderful after 14 days of being without her that I couldn't help myself. I wanted to taste her as well, even though I knew she didn't really like it.
To tell Susan that I'd missed all of her, every part of her company and her body, would have been an understatement. I worked at her shorts, unbuttoning them and sliding them down her long golden legs and I caught the outline of her flaccid penis in her panties. That to me was the sexiest sight imaginable. I rubbed her cock gently through the thin silky lace, watching her lips slide up and down my shaft slowly. Her fingers wrapped around the base, squeezing me gently, playing with my heavy sperm filled balls occasionally.
I pulled Susan's panties aside, exposing her penis and balls and I took her in my hand, holding her, pumping it slowly and feeling the soft heat of it.
"No…" Susan breathed as I did this. "Don't play with it, okay?"
This was our sticking point. The fact that I got off most knowing that my beautiful Susan had a penis. And for Susan, she wanted me to ignore it, to forget about it completely. Susan went back to sucking my cock, but I couldn't let her go. I was too excited for that, I wanted to love her, in every way I could, but most especially in that way. I brought my own mouth down, kissing the head of her cock gently and then the shaft, licking at her as I held her cock tightly in my soft fist.
"Please…Don't…I don't want you to do that!" She stared at me, speaking softly, but with such conviction that it left no doubt in my mind. She really was changing. Whereas before she would protest a little perhaps, but not so much that she wouldn't allow me my own pleasures with her penis, now she was adamant.
"Please, Susan…its okay. I like it…I want to make you feel good, okay?" I was stroking her cock and even felt it growing harder, which was a rare thing for her, really.
"I know you do." She sighed. "You always do, Greg…But I don't. Just…understand me, alright?"
I sighed and released her penis reluctantly and felt a twinge of frustration. I turned her over and contented myself with her ass, going down on her and probing her sweet crinkled anus with my tongue. She knelt there, on her knees with her face down on the carpet, enjoying that well enough. I dug my fingers into her gorgeous round ass, pulling her cheeks apart and stiffening my tongue, pressing it inward, worming the tip into her ass while her balls and cock swung just a few scant inches away.
After 10 minutes or so of that I mounted her, kneeling behind Susan and pressing the head of my cock to her asshole and pressing slowly inside. I admit that a part of me was a little angry and I might have wanted to hurt her, to just slam my cock inside and fuck her roughly to punish her in some way. But I couldn't. I took her slowly, letting Susan rock her hips and moan with pleasure as I pushed in gently, backing off every now and again, until she'd taken the entire length of me. We fucked slowly at first, and then harder, until finally we were going at it as hard as any man could with a woman.
We made love several times that night, but I was unable to play with her cock the way I wanted to. Susan just wouldn't let me and that was when I realized that Susan, beautiful and interesting and loving as she was, just wasn't the girl I needed. It was a hard realization, much more difficult than I can explain here, because I really did love her.
Susan was getting closer to her goal as well, of getting her sex changed and she tried to find a way to make me as happy and excited about it as she was. But I couldn't, nor could I lie to her about it. I just am not, nor have I ever been, comfortable telling someone only what they want to hear. I was with Susan nearly a year by that time and she knew me too well anyway.
Our breakup was friendly enough though, thankfully. I think it was more difficult for her, although I did have my own share of personal anguish, largely because I was a little selfish. For Susan however, though she'd never admitted it, I think there had been some hope that after her operation we would still be together. That perhaps she really had found someone to spend the rest of her life with. To basically start over again, looking for someone…a man to be with, was obviously something that no one wants.
So, for all those reasons and maybe more, our breakup took a slow and leisurely time. We found ourselves talking on the phone quite a lot, and even going out again, for dinner and drinks. But only a few times and I never slept with her again and finally I think we both realized that we just had to let go completely or we'd never really be happy. Susan, and that whole experience was probably my first real lesson with love. Once again, I can only recount how lucky I was in hindsight that my experience was not a bitter one.
One of the percussions of breaking up with Susan was a big one…I was up for a transfer and like everyone else in the Air Force, I was calling the people in Washington who made such decisions. The military of course sends you where they need you, but as a general rule they tend to need you in 3 or 4 places all at the same time. I had a choice and it was some mixed emotions that I asked for and received duty with a Bomb Wing operating out of Rammstein Airbase in Germany. I just had to get away for awhile.