The Sports Page!

Copyright 2011 Rachael Ross all rights reserved Adults Only -- StoriesOnline is copyrighted by someone else, used without permission*

I just feel like ranting today.

Synopsis: An author reveals all the skeletons in her closet to the admiration and ridicule of her alter-egos.
Story Codes: Meaningless Statistics, Mindless Drivel, Free Association Under the Influence of Chocolate & Caffeine

Note: I'm just tired of listening to other authors bitch...If they saw my stats, they'd know just how little they have to complain about! Or something like that. It could be the other way around, I'm not sure. I'll update these pages as I feel the urge, which should be fairly rarely. I don't spend a lot of time checking the box scores. -rr 30 Dec 2011

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Statistics for Dummies
by Rachael Ross

(As it applies to Stories Online)

 

    Hi there! Okay, this is going to seem a little strange, but I wanted to share something unique with devoted (or at least curious) readers, namely my StoriesOnline Statistics. For the first and only time, I believe, an author is opening the books. You can see what I see and perhaps gain some insight into the issues debated over and over ad nauseum in forums like the SOL Discussion Group. If you've never been there, you're not missing much, btw.

The point I want to make here is the following:

(1) Statistics are boring

(2) Scores really, really don't matter a whole lot

(3) I have no issues with looking like an idiot in front of my peers (sometimes I think that's my only reason for being here)

    What do I pay attention to when I look at my statistics? Firstly, I look at the download numbers. Those are important, but longer stories with multiple chapters gain a significant advantage over single serving short fiction. Secondly, the number of libraries is an interesting number. Generally speaking, my stories are aimed at a small audience. I have no idea what other authors experience, but I always figured that for all my notoriety, such as it is, I'm probably at the lower end of the curve. I'm known, but not really popular, you know? Especially with Canadians for some reason.

    That's never bothered me either, but it does bother some other authors. I'm not sure why. Some of them, and I won't name names here, but some authors view the whole stats thing, scores especially, as some sort of competition. I guess that's why I'm making this page. I dislike that idea and not simply because I know I'm not going to win the beauty pageant, but because there's no basis upon which to build competition. I'm not writing the same stories as Black Coffee, for example, or Ken Randall. They're both good writers, I admire their work, but I don't feel threatened by them. I don't worry over my scores/downloads compared to theirs. What would be the point? I'm glad they're posting, I'm glad they're successful, and I hope they pull as many readers to SOL as possible because that will inevitably increase my exposure to a fresh audience.

    Anyone who says we authors are competing with each other is mistaken, I hope. Any author who worries over scores is doing himself a disservice. I guess I'm just trying to prove that by making my stats available to anyone who cares to look. I'm not embarrassed by any of the numbers. I'm not gloating or whining, or tweaking my nipples with maternal anxiety. Scores are used by the search engine, and they're fun for readers, so I turn them on and worry about more important things -- Like the shape of my ass, for instance.

    New authors, the ones who prance into SOL posting their Great American Porn Novel expecting laurels, accolades, and rim jobs, and then feel crushed because their masterpiece only scored a 7.5 (or usually much worse) should look at my numbers. Seriously. If you're posting online for any reason other than the sheer joy of sharing, you're here for the wrong reasons. It's okay to have expectations, but don't let ego get in the way of pleasure. This is entertainment, it's a hobby, it's an opportunity to connect with others through the wizardry of the internet, and that's all it is. My numbers are no better than yours and I'm almost famous in some places. Persistance means more than scores and confidence is everything.

    And finally, you, as the reader, may look at the numbers of a story you particularly like or dislike and find the collected opinion shocking, amusing, or irrelevant...But at least you'll get some idea of what authors like to bitch about :))) I tell you frankly, I'm not going to be around much longer and it pains me to read the blogs and visit the forums and see people suffer for no reason at all. It's disappointing and I would alleviate that unhappiness if I could. It's all so trivial.

Links (opens in new window)

Rachael Ross            rache            T.S.Severe            God of Porn        Just Plain Jane

Be aware that all links on the stats pages are broken...Sorry about that.

Please note: I'm not including some of my pen names, largely because I forgot to grab them, but also because they have only a few stories to their names and offer little to this discussion. Or else I want to keep them secret, I forget.

Reviews of my stories: I've gotten a couple reviews on SOL and I'll post them here, just for something to do...Later. I'm too lazy right now.

Drum roll, please............



This is the new 2012 "rache logo" selected from over 137,000 entries from around the world.
Well, not really. There were only 9 entries and they were all my own, but still...This is the winner. I just don't have a use for it yet. But I will! So help me, Jesus!




T.S.Severe -- Hardcore XXX Sex Video -- Coming Soon!

Testimonial (sorta)

* As long as I'm borrowing from SOL's hardworking computers, I feel I should promote the website to my visitors. Given the limited choices of large, general erotica websites available at reasonable cost, I personally feel that Stories Online is one of the best. I'll confess that I make very little use of the site's functionality as it pertains to readers, but as an author I find it meets most of my requirements. On a scale of 1-10, I give it an 8, but with my secret site scoring algorithm, the score drops down to a 6.67 on the Richter scale.

The largest issue I have is the recent decision to not accept stories featuring characters 13-years-old and younger depicted in sexual situations. I like 13yo characters a lot. Unfortunately, Canada has decided to protect imaginary children from imaginary situations lest someone discover that even Canadians like to jerk-off while waiting for hockey season to come around. Doubtless, if the government could figure out a way to read minds and restrict the private thoughts of its citizenship, they would do so. (Is there a government that wouldn't?) What shocks me most is that the average Canadian seems to think nothing of surrendering the God-given right to freedom of thought to elected officials. Buy some guns and build a wall, Canaduh!

Other than that, Canada is a beautiful state and SOL is just peachy. If you're looking for erotica, it's not a bad place to start.

(signed) Rachael Ross

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