-      I love getting my feet fucked. A lot of people don't know that about me, but it's true. I have very soft, amazingly graceful, lovely feet and I'm very good at jerking men off with them. It's not the sort of thing I'd bring up on a first date, of course, but from the time I was, ohhh...17 probably? 18 for sure...I fucked all of my boyfriends with my feet. Usually barefoot too, but occasionally with stockings or nylons, which I hate. I'm into stockings, the nice silk ones, you know? I've owned two pairs of pantyhose and I hated them. I like thigh-high stockings with garter belts mostly, although the elastic kind are nice too. Other than that, I'm not a big undies girl. Lingerie doesn't really excite me as much as it does my husband and he's got pretty good taste, so I'm content to wear whatever he buys me. I just wish he was a little more submissive sometimes, you know? Only bottom bitches really know how to spoil a woman's feet. Seriously. Every guy will tell you he's the world's best foot masseuse, but they're most often not, and when I have to fake a toegasm and tell a guy, "Your hands are amazing!" it makes me feel guilty for hours afterward.

     Anyway, the quickest way to get me excited is to fuck my feet. Massage my butt and just slide your cock along the soles, that's always nice. Use your thumbs on my asshole, work them down to my pussy and open me like a ripe piece of fruit. Finger my hole and fuck my feet and tell me how sexy I am. That's the key. My Achilles heel, literally, is my feet and getting fingered by a guy that knows how to jill me off. I love masturbation, more so when someone else is doing it for me. Back in my college days, if a guy could get to third base? He could fuck me too. I just couldn't say no...I still can't, to tell the truth. Of course, being married for 7 years now, I really have to be careful who I allow to fuck my feet and finger my pussy! I really bought into the whole "faithfully yours" concept, you know? For better or worse, fucked and fingered, you may kiss the bride!

     Weird huh? Not as weird as this page though. That's enough foreplay. Have fun.

I'm setting up an external blog for no other reason than I'm bored and I want an excuse for not writing fiction.

The other night (Monday, 01 December) I was rather inebriated. Intoxicated, you might say, with my success. I killed a few minutes telling the world about it and I must apologize to some of you. I was letting off some of the stress that had been building over the long summer. I wrote my doctoral thesis and it was published, paving the way for my dissertation and public defense of that same article.

Upon getting published I experienced an ominous calm, a dreadful silence really. Thankfully, having spent much of my adult life posting unwanted (and often unpopular) erotic fiction to sites like SOL, I'm used to getting little or no feedback. It seems, however, that unlike ham-fisted perverts who are simply too lazy to offer commentary, academics simply read slower. Doubtless they jerked off, sitting on their toilets with the latest professional journal quivering in their excited fingers as they pumped and pulled and otherwise rendered critical judgment on my life's work (to date)...And then they called and emailed and offered me opinion, fact, and irrelevant supposition. I was praised and flamed, often in the same breath, and it was quite an experience. Joan of Arc? Maybe not, but the allusion pleases me to no end. We all want to be martyrs for our beliefs.

When they said "...first week of December." I didn't know they meant the first goddamn day in December!

That hurt quite a lot, which was perhaps their intention, I'm not sure. I'm not usually so cynical. I lectured for a little over an hour and then fell back into a defensive posture I like to call "Stalingrad." It was cold and bloody and by the end of it we were all speaking German. Historical metaphors rarely make sense, so I don't even try. Somehow, by the end of a very long day with breaks for lunch, tea, and the occasional vomiting session in the restroom, I was deemed worthy of the honorific title "Doctor" and I shall be vested in mid-January. Myself and a number of others, live and on-stage before a captive audience just returned from the holidays and in hardly any sort of mood to clap politely and offer congratulations around a large bowl of meager punch.

Life continues. I continue. And I never really believed I would reach this point in my life. At one time it was the only thing I wanted. The goal that quite literally kept me alive. When I had no other reason, I had this, and now it really is mine. It begs the question that should have been asked, but never was...What am I supposed to do now?

rache

Here's an absolutely cool song! It's kind of an uptempo, quazi-techno salute to Dr. McCoy by a band called S.P.O.C.K (Space Pilots On Channel K) 

Spaceship surgeon since '66
Multi-talented, knows all the tricks
Been almost every where in the galaxy
Traveled time and changed history

Has a running feud with a green blooded man
Takes every opportunity to argue if he can
He's one of a kind
He says what's on his mind

You might think he's complaining
When you hear him saying

He's a doctor! (Not an escalator)
He's a doctor! (Not a brick layer)
He's a doctor! (Not a shuttle conductor)
And everybody knows him as Dr. McCoy

He's a doctor! (not an engineer)
He's a doctor! (and not a magician)
He's a doctor! (not a psychiatrist)
And you know that I'm talking about Dr. McCoy

Doesn't like transporters at all
Prefers a shuttle if possible
Suffered once from plain old polycythemia
Married twice and has a daughter, Joanna

Charged with murder of a Klingon Chancellor
Managed to escape with a fellow officer
Doesn't make housecalls
Had a kantra in his head
Kills a rainy day and wakes up the dead

He's a doctor! (Not an escalator)
He's a doctor! (Not a brick layer)
He's a doctor! (Not a shuttle conductor)
And everybody knows him as Dr. McCoy

He's a doctor! (not an engineer)
He's a doctor! (and not a magician)
He's a doctor! (not a psychiatrist)
And you know that I'm talkin' about Dr. McCoy

He's dead Jim...He's dead
He's dead Jim...He's dead
He's dead Jim...He's dead
Stone dead!

Doctor Doctor Doctor Mcoy (x8)
Yeah!

On a similar note, I've also been uploading all the stupid porn videos that I steal from other sites! Not the really big ones though, just the reasonably sized ones. I'm not huge on videos, although some of the Japanes ones are awesome!! But they're so big, the good ones. What a drag. Anyway, someday when I really have my Anarchy Site up and running I'm going to need a lot of free porn to attract horny teenage boys so I can mold them into my Army of Entropy and declare war on MTV and the Republican Party and all those guys.

I already have a brick wall and a cache of Ak-47's...It's amazing how cheap those things are!! And fun! I swear. I like guns anyway, seriously, and We were in Malaysia staying with this doctor and his family and he had a bunch of bodyguards and they all had pistols and AK-47's and one day after breakfast it was like "Let's go kill some banana trees!!" I swear, true story! So I was out there laughing and going deaf (but an Ak isn't that loud really, it surprised me) and going all Rock 'n Roll with an assault rifle on full auto! It jerks around like the best vibrator in the world too! Awesome! You really gotta hold it tight and I missed like every tree I aimed at, but I hit all the ones I wasn't aiming at, you know, so I figure that'll be what the revolution is like and why I'm gonna have to line up a LOT of politicians!

Nah...I'm just kidding. I don't really want to kill anyone. I just want to scare them. Killing someone would totally suck, I bet. I was trying to imagine it while I wrote "Tina (ch.7)" last night and it was so depressing. The only way to really get over it is to use humor and make like it's a joke. That's what humor is for and why we laugh at things which aren't really all that funny usually. People being humiliated, falling down and hurting themselves, stuff like that. It's a way to rationalize and reduce stress and deal with things which make us uncomfortable. I've seen dead people and it isn't pretty.

I think that's why I stopped writing snuff so much. I used to write it a lot, but only when I was young and safe and living spoiled and stupid in our home in the States where it was safe. Once you leave that place and go to someplace like Indonesia, let's say, where people are murdered every day, right in front of you...Like, I was at a fiesta, this was in the Philippines last year, and we were buying some house slippers, not that it matters, me and Nining, who's a tomboy, which is a lesbian to the rest of us, and she looks like a total guy except she has a cunt to go along with her shaved head and cute little beer belly, anyway...Out of nowhere this guy shows up with a bolo, like a big machete, and starts hacking on this guy ten feet away from us. Chopped him up and it was sick. I was sick, physically and then a cop blew half the guy's head off a minute later, but I didn't see that, I just heard about it later.

I saw a guy getting macheted to death though and after that? What am I gonna write about? Not that. It doesn't ever get out of your head either. I see it all the time and it sucks. So don't get on me for joking about stuff or whatever and people want to write me and tell me I'm culturally barren. Fuck. People have no idea who I am or what I'm doing. They don't even know what it's like once you get away from America and Europe, the tourist spots that are all bright and shiny and cleaned up. I worked on a report for WHO on female genital mutilation a couple years ago, when I was living in Indonesia, running around that place and...Okay here's that story without the bad parts, cause you don't want to know what it's like touring the provinces looking for 14 year old girls dying in the dirt...

The World Health Organization, and the United nations, wanted to reduce the practice of FGM in a selected number of third world countries. Indonesia was one of them and until a few years ago it was legal and sanctioned by the Indonesian Government and most women, teen girls usually, were able to have the procedure done in government hospitals. Some brilliant committee made a recommendation that the government be coerced into banning the practice through pressure by the World Bank, and WHO actually recommended against this. I know because my husband and I were part of the originating survey and this was a bad idea. But they did it.

Indonesia was basically told that if they didn't stop allowing government facilities and medical personnel to perform FGM then the World Bank would stop making certain moneys available in the form of loans and exchange guarantees and whatever, so what was Indonesia gonna do? They passed the laws and banned FGM ... That moved the practice out of the hospitals and into makeshift, backroom, largely temporary facilities that were never designed or intended for any sort of medical procedure. The number of women being mutilated did not decrease by any appreciable amount, the number of complications resulting from infection and insufficient post-op treatment increased significantly, by well over 400% ...Four times the rate reported previously! It was and remains to this day a health care disaster.

But the UN can scratch Indonesia off it's hit list and the World Bank guaranteed a 3.2 billion dollar loan for modernization of Indonesia's telecommunications infrastructure less than two months after the laws were passed. Anyway...That's the sort of culturally barren thing I spend most of my time dealing with when I can't sit down and write something like this:

Necromancer
by Rachael

A friend of mine named Rob has a necrophilia site and I go there sometimes and check out his forum. He gets a lot of weird people who say a lot of weird things and this was just a little joke I played one day.

=-=-=-=

Heya great site I like it lots. Here's one for ya, my girlfriends dead. yeah no shit. dead as hell but I love her cause she's my girlfriend. I'll tell you whats goin on then ask my questions cause I got a bunch.

She's buried and everything like that but I still like to go to see her and bring flowers and stuff. I like to think about her the way she looked at the funeral was cool she was hot. They dressed her nice and put a rose on her which was cool cause she's a rose freak she loved the stupid things and I never gave her any except once or twice.

But I was at the funeral parlor the day before she was gonna be buried and it was just me and I touched her a little. just her boobs they were still kinda firm but i think it was cause her dress was kinda tight I think. I kissed her too but her mouth was closed and wouldn't open I don't know what those guys do there they glued it or something or is that like rigor mortis?

Anyway i kissed her a lot cause she smelled nice and I didn't know they put all the makeup on dead people, but I guess they have to. I got it messed up a little but they fixed it. I wanted to do other stuff, I think she looked so hot layin there i just wanted to jump in and give her some salomi for the trip you know? Can dead chicks get pregnant? wow thats a rush! What if her little eggs are still alive? I heard guys sperm lives for a month after he's dead like hair keeps growin is that true?

It'd be cool to think about gettin her pregnant and then burying her the next day cause it's not like the kid would live it'd be like part of me was sleepin with her you know? We always used a rubber though so I know she wasn't. But i think about it all the time gettin in that coffin with her and pullin her white dress up and slippin her panties to the side just shoving my hard cock inside and I know she'd be nice and warm even if she was dead cause she was always ready if you know what i mean?

She was juicy and sweet I love her a lot. I was thinkin all this when I was looking at her and it made my dick get really hard and I had my hand in my pocket you know kinda playin with it when her mom comes in sniffling and cried out mostly but she came right up next to me and started talkin about how much she liked me and how special she was and how at least she had a nice guy like me.

All the time I'm rubbin my dick and thinkin I want to do stuff with her while she's layin there and then Barb's mom [Barb was my gf] her mom puts her arms around me and she wants a hug so of course I gotta pull my hand out and start huggin this lady cause she started cryin and everything again and I know she could feel my dick cause its like lumber in my pants!! I could build a freakin house with it you know?

And so it feels nice huggin her and I'm lookin over my shoulder at her little girl wantin to jump her dead ass right then and I feel like you know pushin a little with my dick cause mom looks like Barb except older but still a hottie and I figured she'd slap me or somethin but she didn't she just pushed me away and she left she didn't say a word to me for like a month even though i see her every day almost.

But its ok now cause she told me she understood that some people cope with stress in different ways than other people. She said those exact words and I was like huh? Then i figured out cause her husbands a doc and he talked to me too sayin that it was ok I was feelin aroused at the funeral home cause my brain was trying to handle a difficult situation and nerves get confused like telephone wires getting switched to the wrong houses and he wanted to know if I was ok with that.

But hell yeah I was!! I was jackin off nearly every day thinking about Barbie doll bein dead and me bein in there with her plantin my love gun in her dead womb but I didn't say that cause he's a doc but he's got guns too ya know?

Instead i just said I felt a little guilty and I talked to Father Duncan and it was ok and I knew it was ok then too for him cause he'd never say anything to a priest and the priest couldnt say anything if I really did say something which I didn't.

So back at the funeral parlor after Barb's ma left I was alone again every now and then some guy would pop through the door and look and make sure everything was ok. But I stood by Barbie lookin at her and touching just a little. The bottom half was closed or else I'd have felt up her leg too cause she had super duper legs and I always liked the way she looked.

I just had to take out my dick so I did that and I was rubbin it a little and doin stuff. I figured if anybody came in I'd hear it and I could put it away really quick or fold my hands or do something but nobody did and I ended up cummin right there in the funeral home shootin off on my hand cause I didn't have anything else close by. I wiped it on Barb's dress between her boobs cause she had a white dress anyway I put a little on her lips too just like glaze for the lipstick I messed up. They really put way too much I think but I put the rose back right on top of my spunk and then I figured I best get out of there cause I could feel wood comin back and I didn't wanna get caught spankin on a dead chick even if she was hot like Barbie. But at least I know she got a little bit of me with her I just wish it was more like inside her ya know?

So now anyway I got a new girlfriend but when I do it with her I'm always thinkin bout Barb but not like when she was alive. I think about her dead. I tell my gf not to move so much and I tried to get her to shut up too cause she's a moaner I put a sheet over head so it looks like shes not even there. I just wish she was Barbie and be dead so its not the best for me anymore.

If i really wanna get off I go to the cemetary like early cause not so many people around well not a lot anytime but early is the best. The guy unlocks the gate and then he takes off cause he works down at Mels supermart.

I like to go to Barb's grave she has a nice headstone not real big but it has roses around it and an angel carved too and says ~Beloved daughter sept 4 1982 - april 16 2000~ which is cool cause I always used to forget her birthday now I don't.

I like to bring her a rose and stand by her headstone it's just the right height that I can pull out my dick and rub it on the top while I talk to her tellin her how hot she is I say 'Barbie you are so freakin hot, babe!' and I close my eyes and rub my dick all over that cold smooth rock until I shoot and I make sure I get some right on the ground and on the rose too if I can cause she loves roses. I do it every week and I know she likes it cause I dream about her all the time and she tells me it's ok cause she loves me.

So is this normal? or am I really all screwed up like beyond the beyond? Is it possible to dig a chick up and do her? How long til they really start goin bad? it's been almost a year but I still think about it cause I got a back hoe and everything. can a dead chick get pregnant? i mean like how long does it take the eggs or whatever to die? if she was like 3 minutes dead is it too late? I really like thinkin about getting a dead girl pregnant. i know that's not normal. but what the hell i'm not gonna go kavorkian on some chick just to do it either. and how do I get my girlfriend into it? I told her I like dead chicks but she thinks I'm joking with her even though I always tell her to shut the hell up and stop moving. I tried to get her to fuck me on Barb's grave but she won't go near it. She thinks we're gonna go to hell or somethin. I think she's kinda jealous. Ok thanks hope you guys can hook me up with some answers!

end

And that's the end of my blog entry for today!

love,
rache

I'm totally on a music kick, mostly cause I got a new Ipod thing and I've been making love to it for three days. Anyway, I'm also in a sharing mood and so I wanted to give away my evil little sister writing guide for your ears. It's about 90 minutes long which is about perfect to get a decent sized chapter written and I tend to pace my writing to the music and it works amazingly well. The mood changes help a lot too, believe me. Nothing worse than listening to Kylie's mix and trying to write an evil little sister story...You end up with things like "Devil Inside" when that happens.

Anyway, I call this "Writing on the Bathroom Wall" and when I want to write something kinda weird this is the mix I generally plug in. It's sorta up and down, so when something quick is playing I can hit mach three, when it's hard I throw in some sex, and when it's gentle, well, that's when I think about plot and maybe throw in some tender dialogue, you know, the lovey dovey stuff. So, if you want to write like your evil little sister, try listening to this. Really, really loud...

els - writing on the bathroom wall

Huh? What's in it?

01 - Funeral Song as performed by Harry Heck (The only decent part of the Punisher movie...What a waste)
02 - The Future by Leonard Cohen (Go Canada! He's like Captain Kirk and Neil Young combined. Sorta.)
03 - Closer by Nine Inch Nails (Trent wants to fuck me like an animal!)
04 - Evening Rain by Moby (just to catch my breath after all that sex)
05 - Manwich (I'll eat you alive mix) performed by Women of Sodom (San Francisco Dyke Theater! Be there!)

06 - Red Right Hand by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds (Change the mood)
07 - The Order of Death by Public Image Limited (I need a better plot than Blair Witch, for sure!)
08 - Invisible Wounds (The Suture Mix) by Fear Factory (This is cookin! I sing along with this one)
09 - Whatever (I Had A Dream) by Butthole Surfers (Take a deep breath and appreciate a little Shakespeare)
10 - Change (In the House of Flies) by Deftones (Music to masturbate by!)

11 - Born Bad by Juliet Lewis (the original evil little sister, she even has green eyes!)
12 - Voodoo by Godsmack (has to be here someplace)
13 - Lights Out by Rage Against the Machine (A gang-bang for your ears!)
14 - No Sex by Limp Bizkit (The start of a beautiful relationship)
15 - I Put a Spell On You by Marilyn Manson (about this time I'm banging my head on my keyboard)

16 - Rearranged by Limp Bizkit (The end of a beautiful relationship)
17 - Sad Exchange by Finger Eleven (that happy ending is looking grim)
18 - Heaven's A Lie by Lacuna Coil (Like Evanescence...Before there ever was an Evanescence)
19 - Into the Void by Nine Inch Nails (Trent is telling me to wrap it up already)
20 - Extreme Ways by Moby (because I like happy endings as much as the next girl)

And by the time it's over we have a completed 5000 word chapter complete with humor, romance, pain, and a lot of raunchy evil little sister Femdom sex! See? It really is the best writing guide I've ever heard and I use it a lot!

The night of my thirteenth birthday, which was my best birthday ever, Mom came up to my room as I got into bed. She loves to spoil us.

"You're getting all grown up now, Jenny," she said, kind of happy and sad all at once.

"Yeah," I smiled up at her from my pillow.

"I was thinking we should have a little talk." Mom sat down on my bed.

"About what?" I wondered and she smiled back at me, brushing my blonde hair out of my blue eyes with a soft hand.

My mom is very pretty and everyone says I'm going to look just like her when I really do grow up. Some people say we look like sisters, even though she's like fifteen years older than me. Maybe that's because I look a little older than I am and Mom looks a little younger than she is, I'm not sure. All I know is that I hope it's true, all of it, cause looking like Mom would be pretty cool.

"About being a woman," Mom said, "and about boys and�"

"I already know where babies come from, Mom." I giggled a little and maybe blushed, but not too much. She knew I knew, cause she'd told me, mostly.

"I know you do, Jen. I just don't want to see you grow up thinking that just because you're a woman, you have to be�" she thought for a second, "�weak. I want you to be strong."

"Like you?" I asked, not really teasing her, but not really understanding what she meant either.

"Like me, yeah." Mom smiled. "There are a lot of weak women out there and the world doesn't need one more."

"Uh�Okay," I shrugged, but Mom saw the confusion on my face and I guess that was why she was up there in the first place, to explain what she meant.

"Now that you're getting older, boys are going to like you more," Mom said. "If they don't already."

"I think they kinda do," I giggled and mom was smiling.

"I think they do too," she said. "So you know what I mean. You're already so pretty and you're just going to get prettier. Your boobs are going to grow some more, you're going to get taller and more mature. A lot of boys are going to like you a lot, Jenny. They're going to want to be with you and touch you."

"Kiss me?"

"Yeah, kiss you," Mom agreed. "And make babies in your tummy too, if they can. But you have to respect yourself, that's the first thing."

"I know, Mom," I nodded cause she was always saying that stuff to me.

"Some girls, weak girls, will let them do it too," she said. "Not because they want to, but because they're too weak to tell a boy no. They won't put up a fight when a boy tries to spread her legs."

"And get his penis inside her," I said, just to remind her that I wasn't totally stupid or anything.

"Right. And get his penis all the way up inside her," Mom agreed. "But you have to be stronger than those girls. Don't let just any boy put his penis inside you, Jen. You have to make sure he's the boy you want because you're the woman. It's your body and�"

"I get to choose what I do with it," I smiled. "You told me that before."

"I know I did, but your thirteen now," Mom smiled back. "I won't be able to watch you all the time, so you're going to have to make your own decisions. Take responsibility for yourself like a grown woman does."

"A strong woman," I nodded.

"A strong one," Mom nodded too. "And you know there are different kinds of boys, right? There's big, strong, manly boys."

"And pathetic, little wimpy boys," I giggled, because I'd definitely heard this part before.

"Exactly," Mom said. "You remember, huh? So the big, strong boys are good for�"

"For having sex with," I answered her.

"And the little wimpy ones?"

"For earning money and loving me," I said.

"And loving all your little babies too," Mom told me. "Don't forget that part."

"I won't," I promised.

"Just remember, when you look for the boy you want to spend your life with, the one you want to marry, you have to make sure he understands his place."

"Where's that?" I wondered, cause maybe I'd forgotten that part.

"Between your thighs mostly," Mom laughed lightly. "No, what I mean is. The man you marry has to remember that he's only here to make you happy. He's lucky to have a beautiful wife like you and he knows it. He wants to do everything he can to make your life perfect."

"Because that'll make his life perfect too, right Mom?"

"Exactly," Mom said. "A good husband is happiest when he's making his wife happy. It's really, really simple."

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Men don't always see it like that though."

"They don't?" I blinked at my mom and she was shaking her head.

"Nope, they don't. A lot of men, most men, will think you're weak just because you're a girl. They'll think they're stronger than you and on this planet that means they'll think they get to be in charge and make all the decisions."

"On this planet?" I giggled and stuck my little pink tongue out. 

"Yeah," Mom giggled too and we even laughed the same sometimes.

"There should be one where all the girls are in charge," I suggested.

"There should be," Mom said. "But we're all stuck here. Anyway, that's why you have to be strong, so you can teach the man you like that he isn't so big and he isn't that strong, and he's not the one in charge just because he's a boy."

"How do I do that?" I wondered. "All the boys I kinda like are really big. I mean�"

"The boys you like?" Mom made a little face, teasing me mostly. "So you're already checking them out, Jen?"

"A little," I bit my bottom lip the way I do sometimes. "Just looking."

"Well, that's okay," Mom smiled. "You're thirteen now anyway, so it's up to you if you want to look or not, and if you want to do a little more than that�"

"It's okay?" I smiled back at her.

"Of course," she agreed. "That's why we're having this talk."

"Okay," I said. "But, um�So like, if I really liked this one boy, except he's like kinda older than me and really big and everything. How do I get to be in charge or whatever?"

"Is he handsome?" Mom teased me and I blushed. "Does he love you?

"Sorta," I shrugged. "He's always lookin' at me, I know that."

"Yeah," Mom nodded. "But he probably just wants to get his penis inside you. That's not real love."

"But sometimes I sorta want his penis inside me too," I admitted.

"I know you do," Mom said. "That's normal for a girl when a strong handsome man is interested in her. Be interested right back."

"Really?" I grinned and I was feeling a little warm under my blanket with all this talk, and I was thinking about a lot of different boys I kinda liked.

"Sure," Mom said. "But those kinds of boys aren't the kind you want to marry, remember?"

"I want a wimpy boy," I said.

"A considerate, loving man who adores you," Mom agreed. "One who will do absolutely anything to see you smile."

"I like that," I sighed.

"So do I," Mom agreed. "There's a lot of men like that too, believe me, Jen. That's why you have to be choosy. You have to shop around, you know?"

"What kind of boy should I get though?" I asked, just because I didn't want an ugly one or anything. 

"Well, you need a man who can take care of you, not a boy," Mom said. "One with a job and money in the bank. A responsible man who can give you all the happiness you deserve."

"Okay," I shrugged. 

"Once you've found a man like that you can start to train him."

"Train him?" I giggled. "Like a dog?"

"Exactly," Mom laughed. "Train him to do the things you like and ignore what he wants to do. Men always want to do silly things, selfish things, and you have to teach him to want what you want."

"Okay," I said. "How do I do that though? Isn't it kinda hard if they're all grown up and everything?"

"It can be hard," Mom nodded. "But if you find a weak-willed momma's boy�"

"Momma's boy!" I laughed.

"�it's a lot easier than you think," Mom continued, but she was giggling too. "And there's all kinds of ways to wrap a wimp around your finger, Jenny."

"Will you help me?" I wondered and Mom nodded.

"Of course, I will," Mom sighed and smoothed my blanket. "I'm always going to be here for you. In fact, I've already arranged a little date for you this�"

"What?" I gasped at her and my eyes got real big.

"�Friday night," Mom grinned at the look on my face. "He's an older man, but he has a very good job. He's the vice-president of a bank. His mother assures me that he's a virgin too, which is perfect for you."

"Um�How much older is he?" I wondered nervously.

"About your daddy's age," Mom shrugged. "Forty two, I think."

"Oh," I couldn't hide my frown.

"Now, Jen�" Mom rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with dating an older man like that. It'll be good practice. You're not going to marry him or anything."

"I'm not?" I asked, feeling a little happier when I heard her say that.

"No," Mom shook her head. "He's just going to be practice. You can do whatever you want with him too."

"Anything?" I bit my bottom lip.

"Pretty much," Mom shrugged. "But make him love you first, that's the important thing. You have to practice that and after the man completely adores you, well�then you can break him."

"Break him?" I giggled.

"Like an old toy," Mom laughed. "I promised his mother you'd send the man back home in tears. She's worried that he doesn't really love her enough."

"Oh," I nodded, but I still had a lot to learn.

"But what about the other boys, Mom? The ones I like?" I asked. "If I'm gonna be with�"

"His name's Henry, dear."

"If I'm gonna be with Henry, training him and stuff�"

"Don't worry," Mom rolled her eyes at me. "You can still have your other boyfriends. In fact, that's part of his training and yours too!"

"Mine?" I blinked at her.

"Training to become a real woman," Mom nodded. "A man like Henry won't ever be able to satisfy a girl like you, believe me. You have to learn how a real man can make you feel good, inside and out."

"But especially inside, right?" I giggled and Mom laughed.

"Yeah. Especially inside," she agreed. "A big, strong, handsome boy with a very large, thick penis will be exactly what you need to keep you happy."

"Only one?" I pouted playfully, just teasing her.

"Noooo�" Mom corrected me. "As many as you want!"

"Really?" I stared at her, but Mom was serious. 

"They're better two or three at a time, actually."

"Oh," I smiled at that.

"Or even more than that," Mom said. "Once in awhile. But you're still growing, so I think two or three is enough at first."

"And I get to pick them?" I asked eagerly, but trying not to look eager, you know.

"Of course, you do," Mom told me. "But if they're really men, they'll pick you�"

"They will?"

"�because a girl like you, Jen, won't ever be able to say no to a real man with a real penis."

"But I have to be kinda choosy, right?"

"Right," Mom smiled at that because I was learning fast. "Just because some big stud picked you to ride his penis, doesn't mean he's your boyfriend. Henry is going to be your boyfriend; those other boys will just be�"

"Fun!" I giggled and Mom laughed at me.

"Exactly," Mom said. "It's important you remember that and come home to Henry every night to let him know how special he is. How he's the one you love and not those other boys. That's going to be a big part of his training."

"He has to love me back," I agreed, understanding what Mom was saying.

"In fact, it'll be best in the beginning if you just bring Henry along when you have fun with other boys," Mom suggested. "That way he can see how much you really need to be with real men."

"But won't he get jealous?" I wondered with a frown.

"Oh, a little bit maybe," Mom shrugged. "But true love is stronger than jealousy. Once he realizes how his wimpy little penis could never make you happy all by itself, he'll be begging you to find other men to give you what you need."

"He will?" I giggled at that.

"Absolutely," Mom smiled at me. "So you keep your eyes open for a boy you might like, because Friday night is your first date with Henry."

"Yeah," I nodded, because I knew some boys I already liked just fine.

"Make sure they're big though," Mom reminded me. "A girl has to have standards."

"Seven inches," I nodded and I'd never forgotten about that.

"At least seven," Mom agreed. "That's the bare minimum if he's really handsome."

"If he's only sorta handsome�"

"Eight inches," Mom wrinkled her nose at me. "And we don't have fun with boys who aren't handsome, right?"

"Right!" I giggled.

"Unless he's ten inches," Mom laughed. "Then you just put a bag over his head and slap him silly for being so ugly."

"Mom!" I laughed too and sometimes it was hard to tell when she was serious.

"Well�" she shrugged and her blue eyes were twinkling happily.

"Was my father handsome?" I wondered. "Or did he just have a really big penis?"

"Hmmm�" Mom thought about that for a second. "That's a good question, Jen. I'm not sure. I got pregnant with you on my fourteenth birthday."

"You did?" I looked at her and she'd never told me that before, all the details and stuff.

"Uh-Huh," Mom sighed at the memory of it. "It was my first gang-bang too, so I never really knew for sure who your father was and you look so much like me anyway�"

"Yeah," I giggled. "Um�What's a gang-bang?"

"Oh, you don't know what a gang-bang is?" Mom gave me a funny look. "What do they teach you in that school of yours?"

"Math mostly," I frowned.

"Well, a gang-bang is sorta like math," Mom giggled. "It's just when a girl has fun with a lot of guys."

"A lot of them?"

"A whole bunch," Mom nodded. "And all at the same time too!"

"Oh!" I blinked at that and then I wondered, "How many were there at your gang-bang?"

"I don't remember," Mom laughed. "I was too busy to count anyway. It was a lot of fun though, I remember that."

"Was Daddy there?"

"Of course he was," Mom agreed pleasantly. "He watched the whole thing and even helped clean me up in between."

"In between?"

"In between men, dear," Mom nodded. "Your daddy has the best tongue! I would have married him just for that probably."

"For his tongue?" I giggled. 

"That and his money," Mom shrugged. "And of course the way he's so selfless and loving. I really don't know what I'd do without your understanding daddy to comfort me after a long hard night."

"Yeah," I sighed, hearing the love in my mom's voice and wishing I could find a man like that someday too.

"I certainly didn't marry him for his penis!" Mom rolled her eyes as if I'd suggested she had, but she just wanted to explain it all to me.

"You never, um�I mean, he didn't�" I blushed as I tried to figure out what I wanted to ask.

"Let him put his penis inside me?" Mom asked and I nodded. "Just once, on our wedding night. You'll have to let your husband do it too."

"I will?" I made a little face.

"It's a custom, Jenny," Mom explained. "You have to consummate your marriage."

"Consummate," I nodded, thinking I'd have to look that word up if I was gonna have to do it someday. "But he didn't make a baby or anything?"

"No," Mom shook her head. "I made sure he was wearing three condoms before I let him near me. You don't want to let a wimpy little penis contaminate your beautiful body."

"Okay," I said, thinking that sounded better than what I'd imagined at first.

"And you especially don't want him to get any of his weak little spermies inside you either�"

"Ewwww�" I shivered at the idea of some scrawny half-man spurting his thin stuff into my body.

"�That would be embarrassing and you don't want a reputation," Mom said with a stern look. "Nobody likes a slut, Jennifer."

"Okay," I said seriously. Mom only called me Jennifer when she really wanted me to pay attention to something.

"It was probably a good thing I put those three condoms on him too," Mom giggled as she relaxed again. "Your daddy almost had his orgasm before he even got inside me!"

"Really?" I giggled too.

"But, I suppose after making him wait almost two years�" Mom sighed. "It was understandable and I didn't mind."

"Why not?"

"Because the Best Man was right there next to me and as soon as your daddy was done trying to diddle me, we went to work making your sister, Janey."

"Hmmm�" I sighed at the thought of getting pregnant on my wedding night. "That's romantic."

"Yeah," Mom agreed. "I had to be careful so I didn't get knocked up before the wedding. It was hard too, but worth it, and call me old fashioned�" she giggled, "�but I think a woman should get good and pregnant on her wedding night."

"I don't think that's old fashioned," I decided. 

"Oh?" Mom stroked my hair. 

"It's sweet," I said. "I hope I get pregnant on my wedding night too."

"Well, do what I did," Mom told me and she was just full of great advice! "Pick the Best Man carefully and make sure he saves himself up for it. You don't want a stud who can't make the night special, Jen. You only get married once."

"I know," I nodded. "I want a really handsome one."

"With a very large penis," Mom agreed. "Janey's father must have done me, ohhhh�Six times I bet."

"You had sex with him six times?" I wondered. "Is that a lot?"

"And one more in the shower after we woke up," Mom said. "So seven times, and yeah, that's a lot for the Best Man after a pretty wild wedding reception."

"It doesn't sound like a lot," I said.

"You're so cute, Jen." Mom laughed at me. "But that's why you need two or three good boyfriends, remember?"

"Yeah!" I stuck out my tongue. "Can I have like three Best Men?"

"Well, you really only get one Best Man at the ceremony," Mom said. "But I suppose you could have as many as you want afterwards. It's your wedding."

"I can't wait," I sighed.

"Oh yes you can," Mom corrected me. "I was fifteen when I got married and you're only thirteen. You need to have some fun before you settle down. Enjoy your life and try a lot of different things."

"Yeah," I agreed somewhat reluctantly, knowing she was probably right, but getting married sounded so romantic. It made me kinda itchy.

"So what was his name?" I wondered. "Janey's father?"

"You're not tired yet?" Mom gave me a look and I shook my head quickly.

"Nope! I like talkin' to you, Mom," I told her truthfully.

"I like talking to you too," Mom smiled. "Okay, ummm�the Best Man�I don't really remember his name. But I remember his penis! He wasn't the Best Man for nothing, you know."

"How about Jimmy's father?" I asked. "He must have had a huge penis!"

"What? Why?" Mom gave me a quizzical smile. Jimmy was my ten year old half-brother. Thank God! I mean, I was glad that he was only half my brother, but even that was too much, in my opinion.

"Because he looks like a toad," I said. "Did his father look like a toad?"

"A toad?" Mom frowned at me. "He does not look like a toad, Jennifer."

"Well�" I cleared my throat guiltily. "He acts like one sometimes."

"Maybe sometimes," Mom laughed and she knew it was true. "Yeah, his father had a very large penis, but he wasn't really ugly. Just�"

"Did you put a sack over his head?" I wondered. "And slap the ugliness out of him?"

"No," Mom rolled her eyes. "I just let him do me on my tummy in the dark. He gave the most wonderful massages too."

"Really?"

"Oh yes," Mom said. "And when he slipped that long, long penis inside me, it was so nice that I didn't even care what he looked like."

"Is Jimmy going to have a big penis?"

"I hope so," Mom sighed. "He doesn't have much else to offer a girl unless he changes his attitude pretty darn quick."

"Yeah," I frowned. "He's a butthead. Nobody likes him."

"Well, some boys are like that," Mom told me. "I love him, I really do, but if his penis isn't at least six inches long by the time he turns thirteen�"

"What are you gonna do?" I wondered.

"I don't know," Mom said. "Sell him to some guys I know down in Mexico maybe."

"What?" I gasped and she just grinned.

"I'm teasing!" Mom rolled her eyes at me. "We just have to encourage your brother, right? Help him become the sort of man your daddy is."

"If his penis is small," I nodded. "I'm already teaching him, me and Janey. Sorta."

"Are you?" Mom smiled at me. "What are you girls up to?"

"We just like to squeeze his nuts mostly�Oops, I mean testicles." I blushed a little because I wasn't really comfortable using the sorta bad words in front of my mom.

"It's okay," Mom forgave me. "Boys have nuts and balls and cocks and all that."

"Oh!" I giggled and blushed.

"I know how girls talk," Mom told me. "So you and Janey squeeze his nuts, huh?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "That's okay, right?"

"Sure," Mom shrugged. "Just don't pop one."

"Oh, we're careful," I promised her. "He likes it anyway, even though he says he doesn't."

"How do you know he likes it?" Mom asked me.

"Because he's always askin' us to do it," I shrugged. "I even kicked him once, really hard too, and the next day he asked me if I wanted to kick him again."

"Huh," she smiled at that.

"He's so weird," I giggled. "He'll tell us to stop and cry and everything, and say he doesn't like it anymore, but then he comes back everytime."

"Maybe Jimmy's a special boy after all," Mom said and I wondered what she was thinking about.

"Janey wants to squeeze his balls until his stuff comes out," I told her. "You think that's okay?"

"Well, he's only ten," Mom said. "I think Janey might have to wait a little while before that happens."

"Yeah," I nodded. "That's what I told her too."

"But she can keep trying," Mom decided. "I think maybe I'll have Jimmy move into Janey's room and sleep there from now on."

"Really?" I blinked at my mom.

"Yeah," Mom nodded. "The twins are getting too big to be sharing a room with Jeff and John."

"You're going to give Jimmy's room to the two Heathers?" I asked, knowing that was what she meant. "He's not going to like that."

"If he likes getting his balls squeezed by Janey he will," Mom laughed. "He'll like it just fine and if Janey likes him�"

"She likes his nuts," I shrugged.

"I'll probably just give him to her," Mom decided. "A growing girl like Janey needs a pet. It'll be good for both of them."

"A pet?" I giggled.

"She'll be twelve next month," Mom said. "Jimmy will make a good birthday present, I think."

"Okay," I said, sorta wishing I'd gotten a pet boy for my birthday, but I wasn't like Janey. She really loved hurting Jimmy's nuts a lot! I just did it cause I didn't like him.

"But don't you tell her!" Mom warned me. "Don't spoil my surprise!"

"I won't!" I rolled my eyes and she was really an awesome mom. She loved to spoil us and see the looks on our faces.

"But if Jimmy does get a big penis, um�" I looked at my mom. "Does that mean Janey can't keep him?"

"What? No, she can still keep him if she wants," mom said. "But I don't think your sister will be very impressed by a boy's penis, no matter how big it is. Bigger might be worse, in Jimmy's case."

"Really? Why?" I wondered, cause all I could think about was how big a boy's penis might be. Bigger was better, Mom always said and I believed her! Didn't all girls feel that way?

"Because Janey's a lesbian, dear," Mom giggled at the look on my face. "You didn't know that?"

"Uh-uh," I shook my head.

"I swear, I must have caught Janey with her fingers in Mary Beth's cookie jar a dozen times already!"

"Cookie Jar?" I widened my eyes because Mary Beth was Janey's best friend and they were always together. Like those Siamese twins or something, except different. Sometimes Janey made Mary Beth bark like a dog and wiggle her butt while she licked my half-sister's feet. That was pretty funny.

"Her pussy," Mom said and then I was really staring. "No, I think Janey only likes to hurt boys, she'll never love one the way you will."

"But�isn't that kind of�bad?" I wondered, feeling a little confused.

"For the boy maybe," Mom giggled and then caught the look on my face. "Oh, don't worry. Some boys like that sort of thing and they'll adore your sister, believe me."

"Like Jimmy does," I nodded, because he really did like Janey a lot, even after she hurt him.

"Exactly," Mom nodded. "Janey's going to be a real castrating bitch when she gets a little older."

"Ah!" I gasped and then giggled.

"What? Oh," Mom giggled. "It's okay, Jen. Your sister knows she's a bitch. By the time she gets to be your age she'll be loud and proud too."

"She will?" I felt sorta lost. "What's a cas�castro�What did you say before?"

"Castrating bitch?" Mom asked and I nodded. "Mmmm�it's a girl who likes to keep her boyfriend's testicles where she can find them."

"Oh," I shrugged and that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but I let it go. I'd ask Janey about it later.

"Alright," Mom looked at her watch. "You have school tomorrow and I have to get ready for my night out with the boys."

"Okay," I agreed, not feeling very sleepy at all as Mom kissed my forehead and pulled my covers up. 

"Give your daddy a kiss goodnight," Mom said, since he'd been sitting at the foot of my bed listening to us.

"Goodnight, Daddy," I smiled up at him as Mom got up and gave him some room to bend over me.

"Goodnight, Jen. Happy birthday, sweetheart," he gave me a kiss on my forehead too. "Did you have fun today?"

"It was great," I nodded happily and he was really smiling then because he'd wanted it to be special for me.

"You're the best daddy in the whole world," I told him, putting my arms around his neck. "Sometimes I wish you were my real father."

"Me too, Princess," Daddy sighed. "You make me so proud of you."

"Do you want your daddy to sleep with you tonight?" Mom asked me.

"Really?" I blinked at her and even Daddy looked surprised at that. Mostly he slept in the guest room, but once in awhile, if it was special, Mom would let Daddy sleep with me or Janey. Daddy was the best pussy licker in all of creation and not only that, he really knew how to lick a girl's butt! That was my favorite and I think I was Daddy's favorite. He said my butt tasted like sweet cotton candy and that always made me giggle.

"Well, it is your birthday, Jen." Mom laughed and she was enjoying this a whole lot and I knew she'd planned it as soon as I saw her smile.

"Oh! Thank you, Mommy!" I was almost shaking because I was so happy!

"Let me see that little dick of yours, darling. Stand up," Mom said to Daddy and he pulled down the pretty pink panties he was wearing under his frilly maid uniform. "You were such a good boy today, such a perfect daddy for our little girl. I was so proud of you. Did you change your condoms?"

Daddy wasn't really a sissy or anything, but Mom had him dressed up for my party like that because he'd been serving refreshments and cleaning up, you know. It was cute and all of my friends from school had laughed at him, but I knew Daddy loved me. That was why he'd been so happy to do it, that and it made Mom happy too. My daddy would do anything for my mother. Anything in the world and I was almost sorta jealous sometimes.

"I just put five fresh ones on," Daddy said. "I didn't cum or anything. I just had to use the bathroom."

"Of course you did. And look! You have an itty-bitty stiffy!" Mom giggled and I was laughing too, just a little. "It looks like a little dildo with all those rubbers on it."

"I'm just glad Jenny had a good birthday," Daddy smiled at me.

My daddy's wiener was like almost six inches long, but really skinny and now it was covered with five condoms! It looked funny. Beneath it I could see Daddy's little balls filled with his wimpy sperm. It wasn't my daddy's fault he didn't have huge, manly balls. It was just bad luck is all and sometimes I felt kinda sorry for Daddy, but Mom always told me he was really lucky. If the man had a real penis and real balls, Mom never would have married him! She'd have only had sex with him and being married was way, way better than just sex! Daddy knew it too.

"Well, now you can make it even better for her. Don't take those condoms off," Mom told him. "And don't you cum either. When I get home in the morning I'm going to check."

"Alright," Daddy agreed and he was watching me lick my lips in anticipation. "It might be hard not to�"

"I'm going to check with Jenny too," Mom winked at me. "If you don't make her cum thirteen times tonight�"

"Ah t-thirteen?" he blinked at her and I giggled.

"�I'll be so disappointed," Mom pouted sadly, like her husband was already letting her down. "You don't want to disappoint me, do you?"

"No!" Daddy declared as a big tear appeared in Mom's left eye and threatened to spill down her cheek. "Never! I�I'll make sure she cums!"

"Thirteen times, Daddy! One for every birthday!" I grinned at my mom and I was already feeling my little pussy getting all buttery inside. I was gonna get a serious tongue spanking!

"Oh! I know you will, darling!" Mom smiled and let out a deep breath as she put her arms around his neck. "I love you so much. You're the best husband a girl could ever ask for. You're so lucky I married you!"

"I love you too," Daddy sighed and he was shivering as Mom bent down and kissed his bald spot. It was a good thing he had all those condoms on his penis or he woulda made a real mess on Mom's knees probably.

"Now, be a good daddy and lick Jen's pussy extra nice," Mom said. "I know you wish she was full of sperm, but just�pretend, okay? And leave your little dickie alone! She's still a virgin and we're going to find a real man to take care of that soon enough."

"I think I want him to lick my butt first," I said. "Is that okay, Mom?"

"Of course it is!" Mom giggled and then looked at Daddy. "Kiss the tummy now and I'll bring you breakfast in bed when I get home."

"Yes dear," Daddy nodded eagerly as Mom pulled up her blouse so he could kiss her swollen tummy. She was almost six months pregnant and we were all excited to see what color the baby was gonna be.

"Oh!" Mom grinned. "The baby kicked! He knows who his daddy is!"

"Who's his father?" I wondered and Mom just shrugged.

"I don't know," she answered. "But I hope he's black. Happy birthday, Jen."

"Bye Mommy," I gave her a little wave. "I love you!"

"Love you too," she said, smiling as Daddy started pulling my blanket down slowly. I told you she loves spoiling us.

The End