Diversasy

Trapped

Book One

Chapters 11-...

Chapter Eleven

After dinner, I went to my room, undressed down to my underwear as usual and started my homework. I worked steadily until the only thing I could only think about as what Robbie and had done that afternoon and it became impossible to work. It was time to talk to Dad again.

Getting out of my chair, I dropped my underwear, went downstairs and climbed into his lap. He leaned back to give my room and said, "I was expecting you."

"It shows, huh?" And I pressed my ear against his chest to listen to his heartbeat.

"It does. You've had something on your mind since Saturday morning and tonight it's obvious you want to talk. I was going to say something to you at dinner, but then figured I'd wait until you decided you were ready" He put one hand on my head and rubbed my ear while he stroked my back with his other hand.

His familiar touch brought my stress level way down and gave me enough courage to open up to him. I rubbed the side of my face against his shirt and whispered, "It happened. This afternoon after school."

Dad wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tighter against him. "How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know." After a long pause while I listened to Dad's heart, I finally said, "No, wait, I do know. I'm all mixed up, but mostly I'm afraid."

"Why, what happened?"

I backtracked and told him about holding Keith's erection, having Keith see me kissing Robbie, how I felt giving Colton a massage and then sleeping with Robbie Saturday night.

Dad said, "You've had a lot of very intense experiences in the last few days and I think you're overloaded. Sex is emotionally powerful and it often mixes up adults, let alone a couple of twelve and thirteen year old boys. After all you told me why are you afraid?"

"Because I liked it so much. I'm starting to think I'm gay."

"What does Robbie think about it?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask him."

"Did he like what you did?"

"Yeah, maybe more than I did. But he's done it before with Enrique. He showed me what to do."

"We talked about this before and I doubt that you're gay."

"How can I tell? All I think about is Robbie. I can't get him out of my mind. When he's not with me, I actually hurt."

"That sounds like someone in love to me. When I first met your mother, I felt that way. It occupied me from when I woke up until I went to sleep and then I saw her in my dreams. What you're going through is normal and it'll happen again and again as you love other people."

"But we're boys. How can we love each other like that?"

"Any two people can love each other, son. Let me ask you something. When you think about Robbie are you only thinking about sex?"

"No. I think about almost everything else. Sex is part of it, but it's only a small part."

"So it's everything else about him that you love?"

"Yeah. I mean, I liked the sex, but if we never did it again, I wouldn't mind – not too much anyway."

"I'm happy for you and Robbie. Your first love should be a wonderful experience and your memories of it will last for the rest of your life. Relax and enjoy it. As long as you two are treating each other with love and using sex to show that love, you're good."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

I sighed and let my body go limp in his arms as I felt most of my anxiety drain away. "Thanks, Dad. Do you think you could talk to Robbie like this some time?"

"If he wants me to. Talking to you like this is awfully personal."

"I know, but he trusts you. He's even been calling you 'Dad'."

Dad rubbed the top of my head with his chin and stroked my eyebrows with one finger. "I've heard him do that and I'm flattered. Do you feel better?"

"Much. Robbie and I need to talk more."

"I agree."

He leaned back in his chair and when I followed him, one butt cheek lifted from his lap. He patted me on my bare butt and said, "I'm glad you feel you can talk to me about this and I want you to keep it up. You have more mixed up times ahead of you. One thing I'm curious about is why do you think you have to talk to me while you're naked?"

I laughed a little and lifted my head so I could look into his eyes from about a foot away and said, "I guess it's my way of telling you that I trust you so much that I don't need a layer of clothes to protect me from anything you might say or do to me."

He patted my butt again. "Hmm. Maybe I should start spanking you. You'd probably wear clothes then."

I laughed again. "No, I wouldn't and anyway you've never spanked me in my life. I can't believe you'd start now when I'm twelve."

"I suppose you have a point. A couple of things, though. If you and Robbie are going to have sex, do it here at home. Also, keep your door open except when you and Robbie want privacy. If I see your door closed, I won't bother you unless it's an emergency."

"Okay. That's reasonable." Since I was face to face with him, I leaned in and kissed him. "Thanks Dad."

To my complete surprise, he kissed me back! "You're welcome." He chuckled and said, "You know, I haven't kissed anyone for a long time and it looks like I haven't forgotten how."

"I guess not. Here's another one as a reminder." I kissed him again only longer and then slid off his lap. "Good night, Dad." Making my voice sound like that of the Terminator, I said, "I'll be back."

"Anytime."

Tuesday morning when Robbie got on the bus, he looked around at the other people before he gave me a smile. He sat down beside me and put his hand on top of my hand that was lying flat on the seat between us. When I nodded, he squeezed my hand and sighed, sealing our secret.

At lunch, Keith was all smiles as he said, "I talked to Mom and she said I could come over after school for an hour and then she'd pick me up at your house."

I said, "That's great. We can catch the bus as soon as we get out of school."

The next day at home, we trooped up to my room. When went in, Robbie said, "Whoa, what happened in here. Did you have an anti-hurricane?"

"No, Dad said it was time to clean it up so I've been working on it for the last two days. After seeing your room, I think I'll keep it this way."

"Great, my grandma is always saying that I should be a good influence. I guess that's one point for me."

I sat on the floor leaning against my bed, grabbed Keith's hand and pulled him down beside me. Robbie sat on the other side of Keith so we sandwiched him between us. "Thanks for coming over, Keith. Something happened Friday that's been bothering me and I wanted to talk to you about it."

"Oh? You mean about me seeing you kiss Robbie?"

"Yeah, that's part of it. When he has a nightmare, I rub his back to help him settle down. But sometimes that doesn't work and I found out that if I kiss him he'll sleep again."

"That's what I figured you were doing judging how much noise Robbie was making."

"Well, good. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

"I don't know about that. I don't see anything wrong because you guys looked like you were enjoying it. I've never kissed anyone and I'm curious. What's it like?"

Robbie leaned into Keith's shoulder and said, "It's nice – real nice. Tim found out kissing me would end my nightmare and help me settle down by accident. Now I look forward to staying with Tim so we can do it again."

I thought he'd told Keith too much about us kissing, but there was nothing I could do about it now. Or was there? Sliding my arm around Keith's shoulders, I put my palm on his cheek and turned his head toward me. "Here's what it's like." And I kissed him.

He tried to pull away, but I held him firmly until I felt him relax. As soon as I leaned back, Robbie turned Keith's head the other way and he kissed him a second time. When they broke apart, he asked, "Okay, now what do you think about kissing?"

"I don't know. I think you'd better show me again so I can decide for sure."

Robbie and I took turns kissing Keith until he said he was afraid he was going to get chapped lips.

We leaned back against my bed and said, "By the way, since I met your mother, I've been curious. Is she from Africa?" Keith nodded and I asked, "What country?"

"I don't know"

"How can you not know?"

"There's lots of things I don't know about Mom. Keith Smith isn't my name and Mom's name isn't Jane Smith."

"So what is it?"

"I don't know Mom's name and I can't tell you mine."

Robbie said, "That's strange. Why not?"

Keith looked unsure and asked, "We're los tres amigos, right? And we never tell our secrets, right?"

Robbie and I chorused, "Right."

"All right then, but I've never told anyone else this and you have to keep it a total secret. It's long and complicated, but I'll give you the short version since there's lots of it I don't know."

I said, "Tell it however you want. We'll never tell anyone."

"I'll start with some history." He took a deep breath and said, "I had a brother who was three years older than me."

"Had a brother?"

"Yeah, had. He was albino. You know, he didn't have any pigment in his skin so he was white. When he was three, he was kidnapped by a bunch of men who belonged to a religious cult that believed certain parts of albinos have special magic powers."

"Certain parts?"

"Yeah. They kidnapped him and cut up his body and used parts of it in magic rituals."

Keith's story shocked Robbie and I mute. When looked at Robbie, his face was pale while I felt like I was going to throw up. After swallowing several times and clearing my throat, I whispered in a shaking voice, "Where was this?"

"Somewhere in south Africa. Mom won't tell me what country. When she found out she was pregnant again, she was terrified that I'd be albino too since it's a genetic trait. She got a visa and came to the U.S. so I could be a citizen by being born here. Then Mom overstayed her visa and destroyed all of her papers like her passport and any form of ID. When a friend of hers was killed in a car accident, she took on her identity."

"But you're not albino. Can't you go back now?"

"The people who kidnapped and killed my brother are part of Mom's family."

Another stunned silence from Robbie and me. What could either of us say?

Keith looked back and forth from our faces, nodding. "Yeah. Her family. Anyway, I'm a citizen, but Mom isn't and immigration may find her. She's also afraid that some of her family who belong in that religious cult may be looking for her or me. It gets to me sometimes and I feel trapped by people from half way across the world. We're always looking back, always suspicious, always afraid of the next telephone call or unexpected knock at the door. I have to be careful of anyone who acts like he might want to be a friend."

Robbie said, "Holy shit! And I thought I had troubles."

I asked, "Can they find you in the States?"

"Several albino kids have been kidnapped from here. It's rare, but it's happened."

"So you're basically hiding out." He nodded and I said, "Don't worry about us. We'll never, ever tell anyone your secret."

"Thanks. You know you're the first friends I've ever had. You have no idea how that makes me feel."

Robbie said, "I'm glad and here's something to make you feel better." And he kissed Keith again while I waited for my turn.

After my kiss, I said, "There's something else we have to tell you about Friday night."

Robbie and I told him about what had happened in the bathroom. When we finished, I said, "I didn't want to hold you there, but it was either that or you'd pee on the floor. Then I had to hold it again in order to get your diaper on again. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I don't remember it and you aren't going to spread it around the school so it doesn't matter. We keep our secrets and anyway you were helping me. My penis seems to have a mind of its own lately and it pops up when I least expect it. At school, it gets tangled in my underwear and it's really uncomfortable. It's really bad when it happens just as the bell rings."

Relieved, I laughed and said, "I'm glad you feel that way. Not telling you about it was starting to bug me."

"No problem." He looked at my clock and said, "I'd better go down and look for Mom. She'll be here any time. Thanks for talking to me. I don't think anyone has ever done that before."

The rest of the week, Robbie, Keith and I seemed to be better friends than ever. When I asked them to stay over again on Friday, I was disappointed that Keith couldn't, but he'd ask his mother if he could the next weekend.

Late Friday night, Dad was listening to the news and Robbie and I were watching a movie on my computer in my room. We were lying on the floor propped up with piles of pillows and wearing only underwear.

I decided it was time that Robbie talked to Dad. I said, "I heard you call my Dad, 'dad'. Did you mean it?"

"Not at first, but the more I stay here the more I like him. I wouldn't mind if he was my dad. At least until I get back home."

"He likes you a lot, you know. I don't think he'd mind taking you in as another son. But if you want to be part of the family, you'll have to talk to him the way I do."

"How's that?"

I explained how I'd sit in his lap and talk about things that bothered me and then how I felt after we finished. He took a lot of convincing, but I finally got Robbie talked into talking to Dad that night. When the movie was over, I stood up, ejected the DVD from my computer and pulled Robbie to his feet with one hand. I hugged him and while I kissed him, I slid his underwear down over his hips. I dropped mine and led him by the hand downstairs.

In the hall, I pushed Robbie in the middle of his bare back to get him to move into the room. "Go on. He's expecting you."

"But why do I have to be naked?"

"Robbie, trust me. You'll understand after you talk to him. Go on. We don't have all night."

He sighed, shuffled into the room and stood next to Dad's chair. Dad sat up, smiled at him and said, "Hi, Robbie. Tim said you wanted to talk to me."

"Well, I do, but I don't know about this."

"Don't worry. It's all right. Slide up here onto my lap. Just sit sideways across the chair."

Dad helped Robbie get into position and wrapped both arms around him. Robbie sat so stiffly that Dad had to pull him against his chest.

Robbie said, "This okay?"

"It's fine. You've never done this before."

"No. My father was usually gone and he never paid a lot attention to me when he was home. My sisters got most of his attention. I was close to my mother, but she never held me like this."

"I understand. This must be awkward for you. Tim's been sitting in my lap since he was very small, but quit a few years ago. He started again after you started staying overnight with him."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"And when he does sit on my lap, he mostly talks about you. He loves you, you know."

Robbie nodded. "Yeah, I do and I think that's why he wanted me to talk to you."

"It was. Do love him?"

"I think so, but I'm not sure. We're both boys. Can we love each other?"

"Tim had the same question and I'll tell you the same thing I told him. You can and from what I've seen, it looks like you do."

Robbie pressed his ear against Dad's chest. "Tim told me that he can hear your heart beat. He's right." He sighed, but didn't move his head and said, "I've always been told that boys shouldn't love each other. Because it was gay and was wrong. In church the priest says it's a mortal sin."

"Do you feel that what you and Tim have been doing is wrong?"

"No. In fact, having Tim as my best friend, or actually more than a best friend, has worked out great for me. I feel much better now that I can do something about my nightmares and I have someone to talk to."

"I'm sure Tim feels the same way and I'm glad you're his friend." Dad started to rub Robbie's back from his shoulders to his butt. When he did, Robbie relaxed for the first time and let his body take the shape of Dad's lap. Dad said, "There, that wasn't so hard to do."

"No. I didn't want to do this, but Tim told me that I'd be comfortable and safe. That's how and he managed to talk me into it. Now I'm glad he did. I haven't felt this way since I left home."

"That's good. I know you've had a hard time the last few years and I don't know how you managed to get through it in as good of shape as you did. But what I want you to know is that I'll be here for you and I'll do what I can for you if you have problems. You're welcome here anytime and you can go along with Tim when we do things together."

"Won't Tim mind?"

"Not if it's you. In fact, I think he'd be happier with you along."

"Thanks, Dad."

Dad laughed and said, "I can always use another son like you."

I'd been listening behind the doorway and walked into the room. "Ready to go to bed, Robbie?"

"I guess so." And he sat up to climb out of Dad's lap.

I put up both hands and said, "Don't get up. Dad's going to carry you upstairs, put you to bed and tuck you in. that's the best part."

"Okay. What do I have to do?"

Dad said, "Nothing. Just close your eyes, relax and think about being asleep."

He carried Robbie upstairs where I turned back the covers so Dad could put him in bed. By the time I flipped the blankets over Robbie, he really was asleep.

I turned to Dad, hugged him and said, "Thanks for talking to him."

"No problem. I enjoyed it and I think it helped him."

Reaching up, I put both hands behind his head, pulled it down to me and kissed him.

Dad patted me on the butt and turned back the covers on my side of the bed. He scooped me up, slid me into bed and tucked me in. "Good night, sons."

Sunlight blazing on my closed eyelids made me aware that it was morning. Robbie was sleeping on his side and the bare skin of his back and butt was so soft and warm against me that I didn't want to wake all the way up. Carefully, I wriggled around to bury myself further under the blankets while I eased one hand over Robbie's hip until I found his penis, smiling because it was erect.

With the lightest touch of my fingers, I slid his foreskin back, exposing the head wondering that it would feel like if someone did it to me. Not having a foreskin, I'd never know, but I thought I'd ask Robbie what he felt. Using my index finger, I rubbed the ridge around the head and stroked the bottom, making Robbie moan in his sleep. I closed my fingers around it and began to stroke using only my wrist so I wouldn't wake him up by moving my arm. In the next minute, I increased my speed and the length of my strokes from the head to pubic hair. It wasn't until he had his orgasm that I realized he was making a small mess on my bed. I didn't interrupt what I was doing, though figuring that it was time to change the sheets anyway.

After he'd spurted, he turned over, found my face hidden under the covers and kissed me. Then he said, "That's a million times better than an alarm clock."

I laughed and kissed him back. Taking his hand, I guided it down to my erect penis. He started to stroke me very slowly until I complained. Then he ducked down, encircled my penis with his lips, and worked it over doing the things I liked most until I had an orgasm. He stretched up and then kissed me with some of my semen still in his mouth.

We broke for air, and he asked, "So how do you think you taste?"

"Pretty much like you do. You really like doing that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. How about you?"

I hesitated, thinking about my answer. Finally, I said, "I don't much care for it. Having your penis in my mouth and doing things you like is great, but I don't like the semen."

In a disappointed voice, he said, "Oh, I didn't know that. I'm sorry. Do you want to quit?"

Quickly, I said, "No way. You asked and I can't lie to you. For you, I'll do anything you want even if I don't like it. I love you and whatever makes you happy is with me"

He answered me with a kiss and pushed his tongue between my lips until he touched my tongue. I pushed back and we played dueling tongues for a while. I was winning when Dad interrupted us by yelling up the stairs that breakfast was going to be ready soon and we had to get up.

Robbie went home after breakfast and then stayed again Saturday after he went to Mass with his grandmother. We didn't have sex, but spent a lot of time in bed snuggling together. I enjoyed that as much as sex because it lasted much longer and made me feel comfortable and relaxed. After Dad and I took Robbie home, I thought about him the rest of day and even had a dream about him.

After school on Monday, Robbie pulled me into a shadowed spot next to the building. He looked around to be sure no one was near us and with a panicked look on his face, said, "I've got to talk you. Last night, I was surfing the web looking for more tie up pictures and I ran across a site that had different sorts of bicam pictures. There was a section titled 'spycam' pictures and I went there out of curiosity. I found these." He handed me two pictures he'd printed out in color.

I looked at the images and couldn't believe my eyes. That spycam was in our locker room! Keith was standing there naked facing the camera. Other boys were in the picture, but their backs were to the camera and they were further away so I couldn't be sure who they were. It looked like the camera was in a locker near where Coach Alan weighed us.

Robbie whispered, "If there's ones of Keith, there must be pictures of us too. What are we going to do?"

Opening my book bag, I slid the pictures inside out of sight. "Talk to Dad. This is way more than we can do anything about."

"Okay. Let's go." We trotted down the street to the bus stop.

At home, we ran up to my room and flopped down on the floor, leaning against the bed. Robbie asked, "Who do you think put the camera in there? Coach Alan?"

"Who else? He runs all the P.E. classes and assigns lockers. He's creepy enough. It freaks me out that he took pictures of us when we were naked and then put them on the web."

"Well, they aren't very clear. I could hardly recognize Keith. So if there are pictures of us, maybe no one will know who it is."

"Maybe, but the videos might be much clearer."

"That's true."

We sat and talked about the spycam and Coach Alan until I looked at my clock and said, "Dad will be home in a few minutes. Let's go downstairs and wait."

We met Dad at the door when he came in from the garage. He said, "How was school and why are you guys down here? You're usually holed up in your room after school."

"I know, but we need to talk to you."

"Hmm, you look serious. Something wrong?"

"There sure is." I handed him the pictures. "Robbie found these on the internet this afternoon."

He looked at them and said, "Hmm. Looks like someone has a hidden camera in a boys' locker room."

"Dad, it's not a locker room, it's our locker room."

"What? How do you know that?"

Robbie pointed. "That's Keith."

"It's not a very clear picture. It's a capture from a video so it's hard to make out faces. Are you sure that's him?"

I said, "Dad, look close. You don't need to see his face."

He looked again and said, "Oh, right. I doubt that could be someone else."

"Also, I recognize the room. Locker rooms look pretty much alike, but not many have exactly the same stuff in the same places as ours."

"I see your point. This is serious. I'll call Robbie's grandmother and Keith's mother right away so we can get together and talk this over. Robbie's grandmother gave me a number use to call her in case of emergencies. I'll start with her."

Dad called and explained what we'd found and asked her to come over as soon as she could. He also told her that Robbie was there. When he finished, he said, "Robbie, she says for you to stay here and she'll meet us in forty-five minutes or so." Then he called Keith's mother. After the call, he said that she and Keith would be right over.

They arrived at about the same time and the adults went into the kitchen after sending us up to my room. We left reluctantly and sat on the floor talking about what our parents might do. Keith was particularly upset because he was afraid the people he was hiding from might see the pictures and know who he was. Robbie and I tried to reassure him that wasn't likely to happen and he settled down a little, but he was still obviously worried.

Dad called us down to the kitchen after a long time and said, we've decided what to do. First thing tomorrow morning, we'll all go to school and talk to the principal, Mrs. Modlinger and get this settled. We need to find the camera, get it out and figure out who's responsible."

I said, "We know who it is. Coach Alan."

Robbie and Keith chimed in agreeing with me.

Dad said, "You don't know that for sure and you'll keep your opinions to yourselves for the time being. From what you told me about his behavior, you're probably right, but we have no evidence. Let us do the talking."

Dad invited everyone to stay for dinner, but they said they couldn't and left. Although Dad and I didn't talk anymore about it, I couldn't get it out of my mind and I had a hard time getting to sleep.

After breakfast, Dad picked up everybody and drove us to school. When we went in to Mrs. Modlinger's office, first period had already started. The receptionist in the outer office looked up and asked, "May I help you?"

Dad introduced everyone and said, "We have to talk to Mrs. Modlinger right away. It's urgent."

"I'm afraid Dr. Modlinger is extremely busy right now." She opened an appointment book and said, "I can fit you in on Friday afternoon. Would that be all right?"

"No. We have to talk with her immediately."

"I'm afraid that's impossible."

The back of Dad's neck was turning red and the color was spreading into his hairline. "I don't know what Dr. Modlinger is doing, but whatever it is not as important as what we have to discuss."

"I doubt that. Do you want the Friday appointment or not? That will be the earliest time."

"Don't patronize us." He pointed to a closed door. "Is that her office?" When the receptionist nodded, he walked around the end of the counter, pushed open the door and we filed in behind him.

Mrs. Modlinger looked up from her work and demanded, "What is the meaning of this?"

Dad handed her the pictures and said, "Those were taken in the locker room of this school and are now on the internet."

"How do you know they were taken here?"

Keith's mother said, "The boys tell us that they recognize their own locker room and those are pictures of my son. They aren't very clear, but I know my own son. We expect you to do something about it."

She sighed loudly. "Very well. If you insist. I'll start an investigation of your claims. We have administrative procedures to follow to ensure due process. The earliest I can get the committee together is next week. You can come back and talk to them."

"No. We want that camera found and removed from the locker room now. For all we know, it's still running and taking pictures of the boys."

"I can't do that. If we make wild accusations, the school could have legal trouble."

Dad said, "I'm not making a wild accusation. I just want to go to the locker room and look for that camera. Right now."

"We are perfectly capable of handling this matter ourselves internally. We will follow our established personnel procedure and you'll wait until the committee meets next week." She gave us a smug smile and said, "And that, Mr. Williams is your only option."

"Would you like to bet on that?" Dad pulled out his cell phone and dialed 9-11. "Hello. I want to report an incident of child abuse. There's a teacher video-recording children in a locker room while they are changing and showering. ...That's right and it's happening as we speak." Then he gave the dispatcher the name and address of the school and Mrs. Modlinger's name. "If you send someone over here in the next few minutes you'll be able to catch him in the act. �Excellent. We'll wait here in the principal's office."

Mrs. Modlinger was livid. She had turned bright red during the call and was standing behind her desk. "How dare you interfere with the operation of my school?"

"I'll dare anything to protect the boys from this predator; especially since you won't."

She smacked the desk with both palms trying to intimidate Dad, which had no effect. "When the police get here, I will file a complaint against you for harassing one of my teachers."

"Really?" Dad pulled out his phone again and as he dialed he said, "Let's see what we can find out about one of your harassed teachers. I'm calling a friend, Stan Cunningham, an investigative journalist for the city newspaper. I'll be curious to see what he can dig up after I give him this information."

Mrs. Modlinger's offended tone ended as abruptly as it started. "No, wait! Please stop. You don't know what this will do to the reputation of my school. My reputation."

"I don't give a rat's ass about the school's reputation and even less about yours. You had a chance to do something and chose not to. I'm going to make this stop. Now."

"Please! Don't do this to my school."

"If the boys who go here are lucky, you won't have a school after this." He said, "Stan Cunningham, please." After a pause, he said, "Hey, Stan. I've got a story for you." He gave Stan the details while Mrs. Modlinger blustered at Dad from behind her desk.

Robbie's grandmother said, "We'll wait outside so we can talk to the police when they get here."

We stood in the lobby where we could look at the street that ran in front of the building. In only a few minutes, we heard sirens and a squad car followed by an unmarked police car raced down the street toward the school. At the same time, a car burst from road to the parking lot behind the school and took off in the opposite direction.

Dad frowned and said, "I wish they hadn't made so much noise. That was probably Coach Alan running."

As the police officers hustled up the steps, Mrs. Modlinger came out of her office and met them. She introduced herself, explained what she had discovered and offered to lead the officers to the locker room, getting the custodian as they went so they could break into a locker if they had to.

Robbie stared in disbelief as they left, put his hands on his hips and said, "She made it sound like this was her idea. I'll bet she knew what he was doing all along."

Keith's mother said, "That's hard to say, but as long as it's stopped and he's caught, it doesn't matter whose idea it was."

The bell for second period rang and Dad said, "You guys get to class and don't say a word about what's going on. You don't know anything – which is actually true. I'm sure everyone will know after the paper comes out this afternoon."

Robbie's grandmother said, "If anyone bothers you about your part in this, you let us know right away. We have to stay and talk to the police before we can go back to work." They went back into Mrs. Modlinger's office to get out of the hallway as classes changed

We all nodded and headed for our lockers. For the rest of the day, we heard rumors circulating about what happened and as the day wore on, they got wilder and wilder. Only a few seventh graders, who thought Coach Alan was some kind of pervert just like we did, came close to the truth.

After school, Robbie and went to the bus stop, looked in the newspaper boxes there, but there weren't any headlines about Coach Alan. We didn't have change to buy one so we decided to wait until Dad got home to see if he knew any more. Robbie stayed at my house and we worked on homework while we waited.

Time crawled as we kept glancing at my computer clock. Finally, Dad called, "Tim, are you in your room?"

Robbie and I jumped up, ran down the stairs and met Dad in the living room. For the first time I could remember, he didn't ask me how school was. But this time I guess he knew more than I did. "Come into the kitchen and sit down. We need to talk."

I asked, "Is there more about Coach Alan? We didn't see anything on the front page of the newspaper."

"Not yet. Stan called and said it was too late to get the story into this evening's paper so there was only a short piece in the 'police blotter' section. The entire story will run in the morning edition tomorrow."

Robbie and I leaned toward Dad in anticipation and Robbie asked, "Can you tell us now?"

I said, "Yeah, I don't want to wait until tomorrow. After all, it's about us."

"You have a point, son. Stan said the police found Coach Alan's car abandoned near an old warehouse. There was a report of a stolen car in the area so they figure he stole it and used it to get away."

"So was there a camera in a locker?"

"There was and it was still running when the locker was opened. With that as probable cause, they got a search warrant for Coach Alan's apartment. They found hours and hours of video of all the boys in the school while they changed and showered. On his computer, there were thousands, maybe tens of thousands of images of child pornography and videos. There's enough evidence to put him away for a long time."

Robbie scratched his head and asked, "I don't understand. I mean, I have an idea, but exactly what is child pornography?"

"It's when someone takes pictures or videos of kids having sex. Sometimes, they include adults having sex with them. Some of the pictures Coach Alan had were of kids who looked like they were only five or six years old. The police think he was part of a ring of men who buy and sell it through the web all over the world."

I said, "That's weird. Why would kids do that?"

"Sometimes they don't have a choice. Homeless kids do things like that to earn enough money to stay alive. Others are forced into it with threats of harm to themselves or their families. Lots of reasons none of them good. I suppose some do it for money or kicks, but the people who make the videos and pictures are exploiting them and exposing them to all sorts of dangers."

Then I had a horrible thought. "Dad, are Robbie and I� You know� I mean, are we..."

"No. What you're doing is perfectly fine. No one is forced and you're doing it because you love each other. If you started taking pictures or videos to post on the web or sell, or you were hurting each other, then I'd say you were."

Robbie said, "Is that like sexting? I heard that of a bunch of kids got into trouble doing that."

"That's considered child pornography, but on the low end of the spectrum. Look guys, don't change what you're doing, but no pictures, no videos, no sexting, don't talk to anyone about it. Always in your room with the door closed nowhere else. Understand?"

I said, "I understand, Dad."

Robbie said, "Me too, Dad."

Dad laughed and asked, "Do you need a ride home, Robbie?"

While Dad drove Robbie home, we sat together in the middle seat of the van holding hands. Dad dropped him off at his apartment and I moved to the front seat. At home, I went upstairs, undressed to my underwear as I usually did and worked on my homework until Dad called me to dinner. Before I went downstairs, I put on an oversized tee shirt that hung down to the middle of my thighs.

Dad didn't say anything about my shirt, but he was used to the clothes I wore or didn't depending on my mood. I didn't say much at dinner because my mind was wrapped in the thing with Coach Alan. After I helped Dad clean up, I went back to my room and did more homework, smiling because I didn't have to do P.E. homework. I finished at about nine o'clock and went downstairs to the living room. Dad was sitting in his chair reading, but when I climbed into his lap, he set his book aside and wrapped his arms around me.

"I was expecting you."

"Yeah, I suppose you were."

"What do you want to talk about, or should I guess?"

"You don't have to guess. What makes someone do that? I mean, I know it has to do with sex, but I don't understand."

"I mentioned this when you were concerned after your first day about how he acted when you guys changed. Sometimes people are attracted sexually to children called pedophiles. They enjoy looking at pictures and videos of kids having sex. Coach Alan was one. I don't know if he actually had sex with any kids, but it was possible. Also there looks like money's involved if he was selling them."

"So he liked to see us naked because he thought it was sexy?"

"Apparently. I understand if that makes you uncomfortable."

"More than uncomfortable; scared. He was a teacher. I mean, he was nasty, a bully and liked to yell, but he was still a teacher. If he was doing that, what else was he doing?"

Dad grabbed my ear and pulled on it. "I know what you mean. At your age, you have to trust the people who have authority over you. Certain professions have a reputation of begin trustworthy and teaching is one of them. Suddenly realizing that some teachers who are supposed to protect you can't be trusted is hard to accept."

"Yeah, it is. But now how do I know who I can trust?"

"It's difficult. You have to look at how they act and what they say. It's always wise to be cautious at first no matter who it is until you know for sure."

"But with teachers, I never decided to trust them. I just did it without thinking about it."

Dad laughed. "Generally, that's the case. But sometimes you can't trust even the people who are closest to you. There are parents who are as bad or worse than Coach Alan."

"That's hard to believe. Parents that make their kids have sex?" I stopped and leaned my head against his chest unsure of how to ask what was bothering me. Fortunately, Dad understood my problem.

Dad stroked my eyebrow with two fingers and said, "Are you wondering if you can trust me?" I nodded, rubbing my face against his shirt.

Tears rolled down my face when I realized what my nod meant. After everything he'd done for me during the years we were together, saying that I couldn't trust him must have really hurt. "Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

He wiped the tears from my cheeks with one finger. "I know how you meant it and after what happened today, I'd be surprised if you didn't have doubts about everyone – including me I'm not offended. Is that why you wore the tee-shirt?"

Until he asked me that, I'd never thought about why I'd put it on, but he was right. I was uncertain and I was using the shirt as a way to protect myself. I sat up, slid off his lap and moved around to the front of the chair facing him. Then I peeled off the shirt and dropped my underwear onto the tops my feet. Stepping out of them, I crawled back into his lap.

With my head against his chest I said, "You're right and that's why I wore it, but I don't need it. I know you love me and you'd never hurt me. I'm sorry about what I was thinking. You didn't deserve that."

"That's all right. A conversation like this is always difficult, but it's important to have it. We know more about each other now and our trust can be even greater."

"I understand. I love you."

"I know." Tipping his head, he kissed me on the forehead. Not to be outdone, I stretched up and planted a big one right on his lips, making him chuckle.

He tipped his chair forward, picked me up and carried me to bed. He slid me beneath the covers, tucked me in a little and gave me a real kiss. Turning off the light he went out, leaving the door open.

Chapter 13

P.E. was cancelled for the rest of the week and we were sent to the library for a study hall. In homeroom, Mrs. Modlinger announced we'd have a new teacher starting Monday. For the rest of the week, steady a stream of parents flowed into the office and by Friday, about a third of my class had disappeared and no one knew if they were coming back. Although I looked for him, every day, Colton seemed to be gone too. I was disappointed because he always seemed to know what was going on I wanted to talk to him and find out what he knew.

Robbie stayed overnight both Friday and Saturday and we almost forgot about Coach Alan since there wasn't any more news other than the police finding the stolen car down near the Mexican border. Everyone assumed that he'd left the country and Dad said that he hoped he'd stay there, preferably becoming acquainted with convicts in a Mexican jail.

When Robbie and I went to bed each night, we spent a lot of time nuzzling together, enjoying how warm and comfortable it made us feel. When Dad looked in on us, we pretended to be asleep. He stood in the doorway looking at us for a few minutes, then came in and lightly brushed our faces and hair. He watched us again for a time and then went to bed.

Dad told us that Robbie's grandmother said it was okay for Robbie to stay over regularly. Since he had, his nightmares were fewer and they weren't as severe, which made her happy. Also, the hours when she had to work on the weekends would be more flexible if Robbie was with Dad and me. Keith couldn't stay with us, but I'd work on him to find a time when we all could get together again. In the meantime, Robbie and I happily capitalized on the situation and thoroughly explored each other's bodies, discovering what gave us the most pleasure.

Just before we went to sleep on Saturday, he kissed me and said, "Enrique never did anything this with me. He just wanted sex and to tie me up. I enjoy being together with you and I can't imagine not doing it."

I smiled, kissed him back and said, "I can't either. If it never ends, I'll be happy."

Monday morning, when Robbie, Keith and I got to the locker room and lined up, an older man, who was in very good physical condition, met us. Smiling, he walked down the line of boys, shaking each of our hands and introducing himself.

His name was Mr. Anderson and he'd been retired for a number of years, but would take over our P.E class. He said, "Go on in and change into your P.E. uniform. You need to do it quickly, but don't fall all over yourselves rushing. You'll find the plastic cup in your supporter is gone. If you need it later when we play baseball, I'll let you know. When you're dressed, come up to the gym and stand on your numbers so I can take attendance." Opening the door, he waved us in.

Robbie, Keith and I grinned at each other. Things were looking up already. In the gym, we did some stretching, a little exercising and then he started to teach us how to play pickleball; a game I'd never heard of.

When we went to shower, Mr. Anderson didn't make a big deal about us getting undressed and showered and gave us more time than Coach Alan did. Right away, we all relaxed and felt more comfortable so we managed to take more thorough showers in almost the same amount of time as Coach Alan demanded with a whole lot less stress and yelling.

Mr. Anderson handed Keith a towel and Keith asked, "Doesn't it bother you being in here with a bunch of naked kids running around."

He laughed. "Not at all. If you've see one naked seventh grader, you've seen them all." He paused, smiled and punched Keith on the shoulder making Keith grin. "There are exceptions, though. Get dried off and dressed. You've got to get to class."

Well, from that point on, I thought P.E was great. Mr. Anderson was pretty laid back and made the class fun. A big plus was no homework! For a week, we learned the rules and practiced playing pickleball and then Mr. Anderson set up a doubles tournament. He paired us up by drawing names from a jar.

Keith and I were partners and in two days, we were kicking butt. Pickleball is the perfect game for small, quick guys. Keith wasn't much for straight ahead running, but he could sure cover the pickleball court amazingly fast. He was winding up to smash the ball over the net for our winning point when the doors at the far end of gym crashed open.

Coach Alan, dressed in desert camouflage, jumped into the gym screaming something I couldn't understand. Everyone turned into statues and stared, wondering what was going on. Mr. Anderson recovered first and started running toward the door waving his arms. Coach Alan screamed something incomprehensible, pulled out a handgun and shot Mr. Anderson six times.

We panicked!

Everyone ran screaming toward the door to the stairs that led down to the locker room. I turned to follow the crowd, but Keith stood frozen in place with fear, his racket still dangling from his hand. I stopped and grabbed his arm to pull him with me, but before I could get him to move, Coach Alan aimed and fired at Keith three times. As he dropped to the floor, I went down with him trying to break his fall.

Coach Alan kept firing his gun, but nothing happened. He dropped a clip out of the bottom, pulled another out of his pocket and rammed it into the gun. When he aimed again, I lay over the top of Keith, looking straight at the barrel of the gun pointing at me and closed my eyes in terror.

Robbie pulled the fire alarm.

In the blaring horn and flashing lights, Coach Alan turned and fired twice at Robbie as he dived for the floor out of the way. Then Coach Alan ran out into the hall screaming every foul word I'd ever heard, came back in the gym and aimed his gun at Keith and me again.

By this time, the whole school was stirred up and shouts were coming from the hall that I could hear over the blaring alarm. Coach Alan looked around, aimed at us again, stopped and let his arm hang straight down at his side. I thought it might be over, but then he raised the gun again and put the barrel in his mouth. When he pulled the trigger, the back of his head exploded and blood, hair and other stuff burst out, splattering all over the wall behind him.

I lay on top of Keith screaming and screaming until I vomited. Robbie crawled across the floor and pulled me off Keith. He pointed at Keith's thigh where a bullet hit him and a stream of blood fountained into the air. "Grandma taught me first aid. That's an artery. We have to stop the bleeding. Take your shirt off. Press it on his leg." When I just stared, he shook my shoulder and yanked on my shirt. "Come on! Do it! He's gonna fuckin' die if you don't!"

Pulling my shirt off, I discovered that I'd puked on it, but I folded that part under, put the clean side on the wound and pressed with the heels of my hands. "It's not stopping!"

Robbie pulled his shirt off and when he did, I saw the bottom of the cloth in back was bloody. As he folded it, I screamed, "You're hit."

"No shit, Sherlock. The bastard got me in the ass. Hurts like a son-of-a-bitch, but I'm not gonna fuckin' die from it." He got his shirt positioned over my hands. "Stack this on top and lean on that motherfucker with all you got."

I did and he added his hands next to mine. When I looked up, the gym was filling with adults. The school nurse examined Mr. Anderson and shook her head. When I saw her, I yelled, "Help Keith. He's bleeding and we can't stop it."

She ran over and dropped to her knees. Checking Keith, she said, "Keep it up. You're doing the right thing. I have to get more bandages." She got up and ran out of the gym.

I looked down at Robbie's and my hands which were covered with blood up to our wrists and saw we were kneeling in a pool of blood – Keith's blood. I couldn't believe that it could be all from him. How could a boy that small have so much blood? And how much was still left in him? Robbie and I were both shirtless with blood streaked across our bare chests and faces from the artery that had been pumping life out of Keith. I began to hear sirens from outside over the sound of the fire alarm.

The fire alarm cut off and Mrs. Modlinger came into the gym. When she saw the bodies of Mr. Anderson and Coach Alan, she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and held it over her mouth and nose. She tottered across the floor on tiptoes trying to avoid the blood and P.E equipment spread all over.

Since we were the only ones from the class left in the gym, she looked down at us shrieking, "Tell me what happened here! I demand to know!"

Robbie looked up and said, "You can take your demands�" Then told her exactly what she could do with them.

His comment set Mrs. Modlinger off and she started hysterically screaming. "Just who do you think you're talking to? I don't have to put up with that sort of disrespect." Spit flew from her mouth landing on my face as she ranted. The longer she screamed, the less sense she made.

When she took a breath, Robbie looked up again and said, "We're trying to save Keith's life, you cunt and if you don't fuckin' like it you can�" Then he told her very explicitly, where she could go, how she could get there and what she could do when she arrived.

The nurse ran back into the gym with her arms full of bandages. Pushing by Mrs. Modlinger, she dropped to her knees into the blood on the floor. "Here, I've got pressure bandages that should stop the bleeding. It looks like you got most of it under control." Then she applied the bandages over our shirts, wrapping and pulling built-in straps tightly around it.

Mrs. Modlinger completely lost it and started waving her arms and screaming incoherently at the nurse. When Robbie stood, his knees and shoes stuck in Keith's clotting blood on the floor and he told her to go away and do something that was biologically impossible. Then he doubled over, vomited on Mrs. Modlinger's fancy shoes, collapsed and lay in the blood on the floor crying and jerking uncontrollably.

People in fire department uniforms with EMT emblems appeared from nowhere and surrounded us. Two of them grabbed Mrs. Modlinger and pulled her away. Others started to help Robbie and me, but I pointed and kept yelling, "Help Keith! You have to help Keith! Please, don't let him die."

A lady EMT grabbed my hand and said, "He's already on the way to the hospital. We did him first and called ahead to the hospital to let them know he's coming so they'd be ready."

I pulled my free and pointed where Robbie thrashing in the blood on the floor. "Then help Robbie. Please."

"Already being done. You, my friend are mine." She pushed my hand down again and started to take my blood pressure and things like that. While she did, she asked, "Where did you get hit?"

"Nowhere. Take care of Keith and Robbie! Please. Don't let them die." And I started to cry again.

"It's okay. Our best guys are on the way to the hospital with them right now. They'll take good care of them on the way. Where do you hurt?"

"Nowhere. I'm fine."

"You're the bloodiest 'fine' I've ever seen." More EMTs came with a stretcher and started to lift me onto it.

"Wait. Don't. Where are Keith and Robbie?"

"You're all going to the same emergency room. Now lay back and relax. We want to start an IV to keep you from going into shock on the way."

When I heard we were all headed for the same hospital, I managed to force my muscles to loosen up, although my terror and the adrenaline surging through me made them twitch and quiver all by themselves. I looked around the gym while they put me on the stretcher and saw police and other people pouring in. I was surprised when I saw gym shoes mixed in with the pickleball equipment thrown all over. Guys had run so hard toward the locker room they'd run right out of their shoes. It was a weird image and I'd never forget it. I kept staring at the shoes so I wouldn't have to see Mr. Anderson and what was left of Coach Alan.

The nurse said to the EMTs, "Come with me to the locker room. Some of the boys may have been injured rushing down the stairs to get out of the gym. It's this way."

Outside the school was pandemonium. Traffic was stopped in all directions because scattered all over the street and sidewalks were fire trucks, ambulances, police cars and a SWAT truck all with flashing lights. A row of uniformed police held back crowds of people. News reporters with cameras perched on their shoulders rushed around talking into microphones and trying to get pictures of me on the stretcher.

As the paramedics wheeled me to an ambulance, reporters took pictures and pointed video cameras. The lady EMT dropped a light towel over my face so I wouldn't be recognized, but that didn't stop the reporters from yelling stupid questions at me. Yeah, right, like I'm going to give you guys an interview right now.

My arms were under the straps holding me to the stretcher, but I managed to turn my hand over and bend my wrist up enough to give their questions a one-finger answer. Okay, let's see you put that on the six o'clock news. I smiled, thinking Robbie would have been proud of me.

They loaded me into an ambulance and when the doors thumped closed, the sudden silence was a huge relief. The lady EMT sat beside me and held my hand. "How to you feel?"

"Bad. Are you sure I'm going to the same place as Keith and Robbie?"

"Absolutely." She named a hospital, which was where Robbie's grandma worked. "You're all going to the same place."

"Please, Robbie's grandmother is a nurse and works there. You should call her."

"I'll do that." She picked up a microphone and talked to someone in the front of the ambulance.

"Can someone call my Dad? He'll want to meet me there."

"I'm sure someone at the school will call him. Just rest and we'll take care of everything."

I started to shake and told her that I was freezing cold. The EMT checked my blood pressure, counted my heart rate and took my temperature. "It looks like you're getting a little shocky." She pulled a blanket out of a storage bin, covered me and started a second IV in my other arm.

I sort of drifted away after that and don't remember much else about the ride to the hospital except that it seemed to go on and on while the siren filled my ears with urgency.

Warm water soothed over my face and I opened my eyes. I was on a bed surrounded by curtains and a male nurse was washing the dried blood off my face and chest. I tried to sit up, but he pushed me down. "Let me finish getting you cleaned up and a hospital gown on you. Then we'll see what else you need."

I lay back down and said, "I don't need anything. Where's Robbie and Keith?"

From the other side of the curtains, Robbie called, "Tim, that you?"

"Yeah. Where's Keith?"

Robbie's grandma whipped back the curtains between our two beds so we could see each other and said, "You two quiet down. You'll disturb other patients."

Robbie was lying face down with a large bandage on his butt covered with a sheet. He was alert, but his face was drawn and lined with dark bags under his eyes.

"But I want to know. How's Keith?"

"Keith is in surgery. He is in very serious condition with three bullet wounds. His surgeon has treated many gunshot patients because he did a tour with the military in the Middle East. I think Keith has the best possible chance with him. If I find out more, I'll let you know. Now be quiet. I'll leave the curtains open so you can talk if you keep your voices down."

She left and the male nurse finished cleaning me and helped me into a hospital gown that was open in the back. Now that we could talk, I didn't know how to start a conversation. Robbie and I stared at each other and I finally said, "What you said to Mrs. Modlinger was awesome. I never heard you talk like that before."

He gave me a weak smile and dropped his head on his pillow as if his neck had turned to rubber, but kept his face toward me. "I don't usually. Grandma would kill me if she heard me talk like that so I save it up for special occasions or when someone really deserves it like Mrs. Modlinger."

I told him how I responded to the reporters and he chuckled. "Way to go."

After that, we just lay on our beds staring at each other in silence. Every once in a while, we'd smile which probably made more sense than anything else we could have said.

Dad pushed his way through the curtains, sat on my bed and hugged me. As soon as he did, I started crying and he pressed my head against his chest. I heard his voice rumbling inside of him as he said, "It's all right, son. I'm here. You're safe."

Robbie started crying and Dad laid me back down, moved over and sat on Robbie's bed. It wasn't easy, but he helped Robbie turn on his side enough so he could hold him too. Then Dad said, "You're okay. Your grandmother's here and taking care of you. You'll be fine, son. I'm here too."

Dad shuttled from one bed to the other, comforting us in turn until we settled down again. I rose up on my elbows and said, "Take me home, Dad. Please. I'm not hurt and want to get out of here."

"I'll do that. Robbie, do you have to stay?"

"Yeah, Grandma said I'll have to be admitted for a few days."

"Okay, we'll come back to visit as soon as they'll let us in." I looked around to see if anyone other than Dad was there, leaned toward Robbie and whispered, "I love you, Robbie. More than ever. You saved us. If you hadn't pulled the fire alarm, we'd all be dead."

He snorted and said, "That was nothing. I was so far away and he was such a lousy shot, he couldn't hit me. No much anyway. You spread out over Keith to protect him even though it looked like Coach Alan was going to shoot you. Man, that took guts!"

We smiled at each other and nodded. Then Robbie said to Dad, "Could you go get my grandma. I feel really strange."

Dad got up and went outside the curtains. While he was gone, Robbie's face turned white and he threw up again and again. Then he started thrashing around on the bed and gasping for air as his lips began to turn blue. I started to get up to help him even though I had no idea what I could do.

Robbie's grandmother and Dad ducked inside the curtains just in time to keep him from falling of the bed. A doctor followed and began injecting something into the IV in Robbie's arm. They drew the curtains around Robbie's bed and after a few minutes, everything got quiet.

The silence terrified me. "Is Robbie okay? Please, tell me."

Robbie's grandmother and Dad came inside my curtains. "He'll be fine. The doctor gave him a sedative and he'll sleep now."

Dad said, "I signed Tim out. They didn't want to let him go, but I convinced them I could manage. Where can I get some clothes for him?"

"Go down to the gift shop. They have athletic pants and shirts. I'll check Tim again while you're gone to be sure he'll be okay on the way home."

After she gave Dad directions, he thanked her and left. While she took my blood pressure and all that stuff, she said, "You boys are extremely lucky. José's injury is not serious and he'll be out of the hospital in a few days. His bullet wound is not serious, but we need to check why he's having these convulsions."

I wasn't sure who José was until I remembered that was Robbie's first name. I said, "I'm glad he's not hurt too bad and I hope Keith makes it."

"I do too. We'll all be praying for him."

Dad came back with clothes for me, but they were pink. He smiled and said that was the only ones they had in my size. I sat up, dropped the hospital gown on the floor and sat on the edge of the bed naked. Dad helped me pull the pants on and the shirt, which had a girl's cartoon character on the front.

Robbie's grandma gave Dad directions how to drive to a service door at the back of the hospital, which would be away from the crowds of reporters in the lobby and told him that's where she and I would meet him. When he left, she got a wheelchair for me to sit in and put a towel around my neck and shoulders and one over my head like a hood.

She wheeled me out from behind the curtains and turned in the opposite direction of the main doors to the ER lobby. We went down a long, little-used hallway, behind the kitchen and out a door where Dad had parked the van and was waiting.

They helped me into the middle seat of the van so I could lie down and Dad closed the door. He thanked Robbie's grandmother, telling her that he'd call tomorrow so we could see Robbie. Dad closed the door as I waved, got in and drove away from the hospital.

At home, he opened the garage door, drove and closed it before he opened the van door. He picked me up and carried me up to my room. Turning back the blankets, he stood me on my feet, helped me take off my pink clothes and put me in bed.

He closed the curtains on the windows of my room and sat on the edge of my bed. "You're safe. I'll be here for you. Sleep now."

The last thing I remember was being kissed and trying to kiss him back, but not being able to reach him.

Chapter Fourteen

It was dark when I woke up. Lifting my head from my pillow, I saw dad sitting in a chair in the doorway of my room reading a book using the light from the hallway.

"What time is it?"

"Almost nine o'clock. Sorry about the dark, but I turned off the lights, locked the doors, yanked the wires off the doorbell and turned off the phones. If any reporters figure out who you are and come to the house, we aren't home."

"Thanks. I don't want to talk to anyone about that right now."

"I understand. But you'll still have to make a statement to the police."

"You mean I'll have to tell them what happened?"

"I'm afraid so."

"I don't know if I can." My stomach got queasy just thinking about describing what happened in gym to the police.

"You can take as much time as you need. Surprisingly, just before I turned off my phone, your mother called and said she's running interference for you with the police, which should give you time to recover."

"Mom? How did she know what happened?"

"I called her from the hospital when I was certain you weren't hurt to let her know. Just a courtesy in case she heard your name on the news."

"Why would she want to help? She doesn't even like us."

"That's true, but the shooting is high-profile national news and I'm sure she thinks that her law firm can get a lot of publicity by representing you. She also talked to Robbie's grandmother and is going to represent both of you for free."

"Keith? What about Keith? Is he going to be all right?"

"I don't know. He's out of surgery, but he's in very critical condition. No one knows if he's going to make it or not. Robbie's grandmother will let me know if there's any change."

I flopped back on my pillow and pressed the heels of my palms over my eyes breathing hard. "Why, Dad? Why did he do it? Keith never did anything to anybody."

"No one knows and maybe it'll always remain a mystery." He got up from his chair, sat on the edge of my bed and pulled me into his arms. "There's something else I have to tell you and there's no easy way to do it." He took a long breath and said, "Before Coach Alan came to the school, he went to the Personally Yours Spa and killed three people. One of them was Keith's mother."

As I cried, he held me close and pressed my face against his chest, saying, "No one knows why he did that either, but the police are investigating. Somehow, they seem connected. The police will want to know what you saw because that may help them piece things together. I'll tell you if they find anything that makes sense."

While he held me, I told him how Keith's mother got to the U.S. and why. I also told him that Keith was a U.S. citizen with no relatives here. Dad said, "I'm glad you told me. I'll call your mother and let her know. Maybe she can do something for Keith too. It sounds like he's going to have a rough time of it."

Dad eased me back onto my pillow and I said, "Thanks, Dad."

"I'll get your mother to do whatever is possible for both Keith and Robbie. She owes me a lot for putting her through law school and it's time for me to collect."

"Stay with me, Dad."

"Always. I'll be right here. Sleep some more. Next time you wake up, I'll make you something to eat if you're hungry. You haven't had anything to eat since breakfast."

It was still dark when I woke up again, but didn't ask what time it was. As long as Dad was with me, I didn't care. When he saw that I was awake, he got up from his chair and sat on my bed. "Do you want some soup? I made bread last night and it's still fresh."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Good, I'll warm some up in the microwave. Be right back."

He brought up a tray and I ate everything even though I wasn't hungry. For some reason, Dad's bread and soup didn't taste as good as it usually did. When I was done, he turned the lights off except for a small bedside lamp putting the room in deep shadows. "Dad, can I take a shower? A nurse washed the blood off me at the hospital, but I still feel dirty." And then I shivered as I remembered the touch of Keith's warm blood spraying over me.

"I understand the feeling. I'll be right back and then we can shower."

Dad went into his room and came back. He turned the blankets back, scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the bathroom. Since the room didn't have windows, Dad turned the lights on after he closed the door. That's when I realized he was naked.

"Are you going to take a shower too?"

"In a way. We're both going to take showers, but mostly I'll help you so you'll be clean all over."

He set me down and as I leaned against the counter, he turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. Then he helped me in, stood behind me and shampooed my hair. Using liquid soap, he worked over my shoulders, down my back and hips and finally my legs. As I leaned against the shower stall wall with both arms, he scrubbed between my butt cheeks. His hands running over my body smoothly sliding in the soap felt wonderful and I was silent other than to ask him to rub harder. As he worked, I felt relieved that every trace of Keith's blood would be gone and I'd feel clean again.

Dad turned me around and shampooed my hair again, telling me to close my eyes and hold onto his shoulders for balance, he washed my face with a soapy washcloth. Using lots of soap, he washed my chest and belly. When he got to my hips, he very gently washed my penis and scrotum and that space between my legs. I got an erection when he did, but I wasn't embarrassed to have Dad see it. He continued down my legs and finished by washing my feet one at a time as I braced myself on his bare shoulders. By the time he finished, I'd lost my erection.

After he rinsed me off, he turned off the water and helped me out. With a big fluffy towel, he dried me off and carried me back to bed. When he set me in bed, I grabbed him around the neck, pulled his head down and kissed him. "Thanks, Dad. Now I'm clean. How did you know?"

"When you were a lot younger, we used to shower together frequently and you always liked it. Because of what happened, I thought you might need it again and the warm water would help you relax."

"It did. What time is it?"

"Just after two in the morning."

"Stay with me."

"I will." He pointed at his chair in the hall. "I'll be right there."

"No. I mean stay with me here." I lifted the covers and said, "Right here. Please? I don't want to be alone."

He didn't hesitate and slid into bed beside me. "Is this all right?"

I moved over, pressed my chest and belly against him while I rested my head and wet hair on his arm. "It is now." And fell asleep wrapped in his arms.

Something cool and wet pressed against my face and I opened my eyes. Dad was holding me and bathing my face with a wet washcloth. "Are you all right? You were having a nightmare."

When he said that, my nightmare came back and in my mind, I saw Coach Alan blow his brains out all over the wall. When I started screaming, Dad held me tighter, pressed the washcloth against my forehead and told me over and over that I was safe and Robbie and Keith were too.

When I settled down and rested in his arms, he said, "I'm sorry, Tim. I wish it were possible, but you can't go back and un-see what happened in the gym. There are counselors who know about this sort of thing and I'll ask Robbie's grandmother how I can find one for you."

"What about Robbie? He has two nightmares now." I hesitated and wondered how he would get along tonight. "And I'm not with him. What's he going to do?"

"I don't know about tonight, but I'll get a counselor for both of you. Keith, too."

My tension left me and I sagged comfortably in his arms. "Thanks, Dad." Then I remembered. "You've never asked me to tell you what happened."

"No, I didn't and I won't until you're ready. If you never want to, that's okay. I don't want you to relive it. Maybe in time, the memory will fade."

"I don't think I'll ever forget that. Am I going to have nightmares like Robbie? He can't forget what happened to him either."

"I hope not, but you might for a while. When you experience something as traumatic as what you and Robbie have been through, it can create psychological problems like nightmares. The fact that you and Robbie are so close and support each other should help. I'll start looking for a counselor later this morning. Can you sleep some more?"

"I think so. But what will I do when you go to work?"

"I'm not going. I have a lot of vacation time I can use and I'll call this morning to tell them I'm not coming in. I'll be able to work from home so I can be here for you and Robbie and Keith for as long as necessary."

"Won't they want to know why?"

"Yes, but I'll just tell them it's a family emergency. I'm sure they'll know more in a few days." Dad let me stretch out and then got into bed beside me again. I rolled into his arms and dropped off to sleep.

It was full daylight the next time I woke up and Dad wasn't with me. I was about to call him, but before I could, he came into my room. He'd changed into the clothes that he called his 'putter around the house uniform'.

"How are you feeling today, son."

"Better, but I'm still shaky and my stomach is upset. I have to go to the bathroom bad. Can you help me?"

He turned back the covers, picked me up and took me into the bathroom. When I sat down on the toilet, he said, "I'll wait outside."

I peed and then sat for a long time without results. Dad knocked on the door and asked, "Are you ready?"

"No, but you can come in." When he did, I said, "It feels like I have to go bad, but I can't. It's like my plumbing is all plugged up."

"That could be, but I think I can help you." He dug around in a drawer, found a small box and pulled out a plastic bottle with a long nozzle on the end. "This is an enema. It has a chemical that will get things going again. I'll squeeze this into you and then you just have to wait a few minutes."

"Squeeze it into me? You mean up my butt?"

"Yep. It may be a little uncomfortable, but it doesn't hurt."

I didn't think too much of the idea, but I sighed and said, "Okay, if you say it'll help." When I stood partway up from the toilet seat, he took the cap off the bottle, spread my cheeks and slid the nozzle in.

"Are you all right?"

"Uh, huh. It feels funny, but I'm fine."

"I'm going to squeeze now." He did and the water felt cool, but at the same time, it made me feel like I was going to get an erection, which I didn't want right then. Pulling the nozzle out, he said, "That's it. Now you just have to wait a few minutes. Hold it as long as you can and then let it out. I'll go down and get something for you to eat." He threw the bottle and box away as he went out.

I sat down again and waited as patiently as I could. Deep down inside my guts, the urge to go rumbled to life and steadily grew. I squeezed as tight as I could, but it quickly got to the point where I couldn't hold it anymore. What came out hurt a lot at first, but I was definitely empty when it was over. I cleaned off, washed my hands and headed back to bed. When I crossed the hall, I called down to Dad telling him of my success.

Dad came into my room carrying a breakfast tray and newspaper under his arm. He'd made quiche for me and a heaping bowl of fresh raw fruit. Setting the tray down, he said, "That fruit will help get you regular again." He opened the newspaper and pointed at the headline, which was about the shooting. "I can't believe this, but some idiot at the school gave out your names. Generally, when something major like this happens, the names of children involved aren't mentioned. It won't take long before every reporter in town will be on our doorstep trying to get an interview with you."

"I don't think I can stand that. What can we do about it?"

"Two things. I called your mother and asked her to put some private security guards around the house who won't let anyone get near the doors. Then I called Stan at the newspaper again and gave him exclusive right to an interview with you."

"I'm not sure I can do that."

"I understand, but the only way to get all the media away is to put the story out. I know Stan well and he'll be easy to talk to. I'll stay with you as he does."

"Well, all right. If that's what we have to do."

"Afraid so. Eat your lunch. I'll go down and watch for Stan."

I'd finished breakfast when Dad came back with a man that appeared to be Dad's age, but a lot smaller and as bald as a soccer ball. Dad introduced us and Stan took the chair from my desk and sat down beside my bed.

He pulled a tape recorder a pen and other things out of his bag and said, "Did you know I was the best man at your dad's wedding? No? I'm surprised he didn't tell you. He and I golf on Sundays all the time. The only reason I do is that he's a worse golfer than I am."

While he tested his equipment and got ready to do the interview, he talked constantly and I wondered if he'd give me a chance to talk. Listening to his chatter made the room feel like there wasn't enough air in it and I felt my stomach starting to churn.

"Okay, I'm ready. Are you?" When I nodded, he continued in a completely different, slower voice. "I know you're still upset and I want to thank you for talking to me about what happened. I know it's hard to do. We'll go slow and if you want to take a break or stop altogether, let me know. Your dad will watch you and tell me if you get tired or upset. To begin, just tell me what happened yesterday."

As soon as he stopped his rapid-fire talk, I felt the pressure ease and laid back on my pillows. "I'll do the best I can."

Dad sat on the edge of my bed and took my hand. "Don't rush. Just tell Stan what happened in order."

Stan turned on the tape recorder gave the time, date and his name, my name and then let me talk. As I did, he took notes on a pad and nodded occasionally to encourage me when I got to the hard parts. When I told him about Dad getting me out of the hospital, I quit.

He said, "Thank you, Tim. That was very good and I think we should take a break."

Dad and Stan went downstairs and to my surprise, came back with bottles of caffeinated sugar water and gave one to me. Then Dad even drank some!

Stan turned on his tape recorder and said, "I have a couple of things I'd like you to talk about in more detail. Tell me about Robbie pulling the fire alarm."

"He saved us. He saved all of us. Coach Alan was about to shoot Keith and me, but when the alarm went off, he stopped. Then he ran out in the hall for some reason, came back in and pointed his gun at us again. Then he�"

Dad said, "Stop, Tim. You don't have to talk about that again."

Stan said, "He shot Mr. Anderson first and then Keith. After he did, you laid on top of Keith trying to protect him. Is that right?" I nodded and he said, "That took an amazing amount of courage. He could have shot you too."

"Keith fell to the floor and pulled me down beside him. When Coach Alan pointed his gun at Keith, I tried to cover him. I don't remember being brave or even thinking about what I was doing. I just did it because I wanted Keith to be safe. We're friends."

"And exceptionally good ones at that." To dad, he asked, "Do you know the condition of Robbie or Keith?"

"No, but I can call Robbie's grandmother. She's a nurse there." Dad turned on his cell phone and it immediately started to ring and beep with messages. He turned it off. "Stan, can I use yours? Mine's completely jammed."

Stan handed Dad his phone and he called Robbie's grandmother using the emergency number he'd given her. After a one-sided conversation where Dad just listened and nodded, he hung up and said, "Robbie's been admitted and will be there for a few days. The bullet that hit him only grazed him across both butt cheeks. Emotionally, he's a wreck and his grandmother is concerned. They're going to have him talk to a counselor before he leaves.

"Keith is in intensive care and not doing very well. The artery in his leg wound is fixed, but two bullets went all the way through his abdomen. Fortunately, they didn't hit a major artery or he would have died in minutes. They had to take out his spleen and repair his liver and part of one kidney along with holed in his intestines."

Tears were running down my face and I asked, "Will he live?"

"She didn't know, but it's possible. They're doing all they can and the next few days will tell."

Stan said, "I realize this is asking a lot, but do you think I could talk to Robbie's grandmother and get her permission so I can talk to him? You know how I work and I won't press him."

Dad looked at me and I nodded and smiled as I wiped away tears. He said, "I'll call her again and you can talk to her. She told me that if Tim wanted to visit, she'd authorize it. Maybe we can go together. Let's go down to the kitchen so Tim can get dressed."

Stand laughed. "I'll bet he's not wearing anything under the blankets, is he?" He slapped Dad on the back and said, "Like father, like son."

They left and I pulled on some sweat pants and a lightweight hoodie in case I had to hide by covering my head. When I went downstairs, Stan had gotten Robbie's grandmother's approval and we all went into the garage and got in the van. Stan sat in front and Dad had me lie down on the middle seat again so I'd be hidden unless someone got right up next to the van. Dad opened the garage door and tore out of the garage and down the driveway to the street. He would've run over anybody who might have tried to peek in.

Dad parked in the visitor's lot at the hospital in a spot as close to the door as possible. We got out and as we walked toward the main entrance, I flipped my hoodie up and pulled it down partly covering my face. I didn't see any reporters so I doubted that anyone would recognize me, but I wasn't taking any chances. We stopped at the information desk in the lobby to get directions and then took an elevator up to the pediatrics floor. I stayed a step or two behind and between Dad and Stan, looking at the floor.

We met Robbie's grandmother at the nurse's station where Dad introduced Stan. She told us that he'd had a bad night and a doctor had to give him a sedative.

I said, "After yesterday, I'm not surprised he had nightmares. Can I see him? I can help."

She looked me in the face as if she were evaluating what I'd said based on my expression, then nodded firmly. "From what Robbie has told me about how well he sleeps when he stays overnight with you, I believe you can." Pointing at me she said, "I'll take you in, but everyone else stays out."

As she led me into his room, I worried about what Robbie might have told her. Did she know we were sleeping in the same bed? I suppose that wouldn't be too bad, but I hoped he didn't tell her about the other things we were doing.

Robbie was asleep. "Can I stay? You know, to be here in case he wakes up?"

"Okay, but don't disturb him. After last night, he needs to rest."

I nodded and she left. Picking up a chair, I set it beside his bed. Robbie was sleeping on his side and I moved the chair around until I could see his face. Slowly, gently I lifted his hand from the bed and settled into my chair, expecting a long wait.

But in a few minutes, his eyes opened about half way and he whispered, "It is you. I knew it was." He lifted his hand and mine together. "I could tell." He sighed and yawned. "I missed you."

"Yeah, I missed you, too. How you doing?"

"Bad. My nightmares are worse than ever. After yesterday, they're all mixed together. Last night the doctor had to give me a shot to settle me down. That only made things worse. It stopped my legs and arms from moving because Grandma says I was quiet the rest of the night. But that didn't turn off the nightmare in my head and when it started, I couldn't wake up. It was like I was trapped in it and no matter how much I screamed and tried to run, I couldn't get away. It was the worst night I ever had."

"I'm here and I'll stay as long as your grandma will let me." When I reached over and rubbed his back, he rolled toward me, closed his eyes the rest of the way and let his head sink into his pillow. I checked to be sure the door was closed then leaned down and kissed him. As I did, I felt him smile.

"Thanks, Tim. Stay and help me sleep."

"I will. You know I will."

In a few minutes, he was asleep, but I didn't stop rubbing his bare back under his hospital gown and holding his hand. With my voice just above a whisper, I told him again and again that he was safe and he didn't have to see what happened in the gym in his nightmares because it was over and it'd never happen again.

Robbie's grandmother came in and said, "Did he wake up?"

"Yeah, but he went right back to sleep. Can I stay?"

"Certainly. Visiting hours have just started."

"That's not what I meant. I want to stay with him tonight. He doesn't need a sedative. I can help him with his nightmares. Please?"

"Dr. Wulfers, who is a child psychiatrist, is going to talk to him later this morning about his nightmares. We can ask him about you staying and get his opinion. Then we can decide."

"Can I stay until then?"

"It might be three or four hours before he comes."

"Doesn't matter. I want to be here when Robbie wakes up."

"Very well. I'll tell your father and that newspaper man what you want to do and ask them to come back when I call them."

Just before lunch, a small dark-haired doctor came into the room. Robbie just had another nightmare, but was sleeping quietly now. I hadn't let go of his hand since I'd come in and hoped he knew that I'd been with him all the time.

The doctor whispered, "I'm Dr. Wulfers and you must be Tim. Robbie's grandmother told me about you. Do you want to step out into the hall and talk so we don't disturb him?"

I shook my head and whispered, "Can't. When Robbie has a nightmare, I have to be here."

"Has he had one since you've been here?"

"Yes, sir. Two so far and I was able to help him each time. I can't leave because he might have another one."

"I understand. Let me do this: I'll sit over in that corner and wait. If he had a nightmare, I want you to do whatever you normally do. Pretend that I'm not here. Is that all right?"

When I nodded, he moved a chair into the corner, pulled the curtains across the window and turned off the overhead light so that he was somewhat hidden in shadows. I had no idea if or when Robbie would have another nightmare, but I had two equally balanced opinions about showing this doctor what I did to help Robbie. On one hand, if I did, Dr. Wulfers could see that I could help Robbie sleep through his nightmares, but on the other, I worried about what he might say about some of the things I might do.

Letting go of Robbie's hand, I walked over and stood in front of Dr. Wulfers. "What I do when he has a nightmare is going to be private, right? You won't tell anyone?"

"I won't-especially not Robbie's grandmother-unless you give me permission."

Satisfied that Dr. Wulfers could see the connection Robbie and I had without me telling him, I went to the bedside, sat down and held Robbie's hand again. I'd been gone less than a minute, but in that time, Robbie started to have another nightmare. His legs started to thrash as if he were running while his hands clawed at the bed. I squeezed his hand and talked to him, but his motions increased sharply and he began to moan and gasp for air.

I rubbed his back from his neck to the bandages on his butt while I stroked his face and told him everything was all right and he was safe. After a few minutes, when I saw I wasn't making any progress, I leaned down and kissed him. That had an immediate effect and his breathing began to drop toward normal. Completely forgetting that Dr. Wulfers was in the room, I kissed him more and longer while stroking his back.

It took longer than usual, but Robbie eventually dropped into silent, motionless sleep and I went back to just holding his hand. I felt a touch on my shoulder, which startled me because I'd forgotten that Dr. Wulfers was still in the room.

Smiling, he said, "When he wakes up, push the call button and ask one of the nurses to page me. I want to talk to both of you." I nodded and he left.

At a little after one o'clock, Robbie sighed, stretched and woke all the way up. "Hola, mi amigo. Still here, huh?"

"Well, they tried to kick me out, but I rolled on the floor screaming and kicking until they got the idea that I wanted to stay."

"That must have been a sight. And I missed it."

I laughed and told him about his nightmares and Dr. Wulfers watching. I saw Robbie's worried look and said, "It's all right. He said that he wouldn't tell anyone."

"Okay. I sure hope he keeps that promise. My grandma wouldn't understand what we're doing at all. And she definitely wouldn't like parts of it."

"I'm sure your're right about that. Anyway, he wanted us to call a nurse and ask her to page him when you woke up."

Robbie did and in a few minutes, Dr. Wulfers came in. Pulling a chair up to the side of the bed, he said, "We need to talk. As a psychiatrist, I work with children your age who have mental health problems." Robbie and I both scowled when he said we were children, but he only laughed. "I know, I know, you're teens, but physiologically you're still children and you've had experiences that no one, no matter what his age, should ever have. Physical injuries heal quickly in boys your age, but the nonphysical injuries can take much longer. Your nightmares are part of those injuries. Robbie, now that I've seen how Tim helps you through your nightmares I see that I need to write a prescription for you boys to be together as much as possible. Especially since Tim may need help with his own nightmares."

Robbie's head jerked over and he stared up at me. "You're having nightmares, too?" I nodded and he said, "You never told me."

"I didn't want you to worry. I have only one to relive and you have two."

His eyes filled with tears. "You were taking care of me and not worrying about yourself." He reached up, grabbed me by the back of the neck, pulled my head down and kissed me.

When we broke apart, I said to Dr. Wulfers, "Only Dad knew I had a nightmare because I woke him up. How did you know?"

"I would have been surprised if you didn't, especially since what happened was only a day ago. Anyone who has had such a traumatic experience would likely have them."

Robbie said, "I want to go home. Things will be better there, especially if Tim's with me."

"I'm inclined to agree with you so I'll make a bargain. I'll arrange for Tim to spend the night with you. If he can control your nightmares well enough that I'll know you'll be safe at home, I'll recommend you be discharged tomorrow. Also, part of the bargain is that the three of us will talk later. Agreed?"

We did, shook on it and then Dr. Wulfers left. Robbie said, "I slept through lunch and I couldn't eat anything yesterday. Would you go out and tell the nurses that I'm hungry?"

Laughing, I got up and headed for the door. Things were looking up for a change and I wished Keith was doing as well.

After lunch, I talked Robbie's grandmother into calling Dad and Stan. They came through the door after only a few minutes delay because they'd been in the cafeteria when Dad got the call.

I got up and let Dad have my chair. He sat down, took Robbie's hand and smoothed his sleep-mussed hair. "I can't tell you how glad I am that you're going to be all right. You're part of the family now and neither Tim nor I want that to change." Then he introduced Stan.

Stan was uncharacteristically quiet while he shook Robbie's hand. He said, "Robbie, Tim's father has been telling me a great deal about you. Tim already told me what happened in the gym yesterday, but I'd like to hear your perspective of it, too. I understand it'll be hard to describe, but it's a story worth telling."

I saw the look on Robbie's face and said, "It's okay. After I told Stan, I felt better. It was sort of like catching my breath after I'd been running."

Dad said, "It's made national news and there are many news people who want to talk to you. If you let Stan print the whole story, they probably won't bother you so much."

"All right. But let me tell it my own way."

Stan nodded, took a mini recorder and notepad from a jacket pocket and said, "I'm ready. Take as long as you like and stop if you want. I'll just listen."

He took a big breath and started. Dad got up and motioned for me to sit back down in my chair. When I did, I squeezed Robbie's hand and gave him encouraging nods whenever he faltered. When he got to the part where Coach Alan shot himself, he turned white and clutched his stomach with his free arm. Robbie' story took more than an hour and Stan asked only a few questions when he was done. He closed his notepad and put the recorder away saying. "You boys showed remarkable courage-far beyond what anyone could have imagined."

Robbie said, "I don't know about that. I did the only thing I could think of to distract him. He was going to hurt Keith and Tim and I couldn't let that happen. They're my friends."

"Tim said the same thing. You're a remarkable group of friends. I understand that you call yourselves Los Tres Amigos and I'd like to write the story from that point of view."

I asked, "What about Keith? Is he going to live?"

Stan said, "I don't know, but I'll go see what I can find out."

He left and I took Robbie's hand in both of mine and said, "I have something to tell you about Keith."

He read my expression and said, "It's not good, is it?"

Shaking my head I said, "No. But I don't have to tell you right how. It can wait."

"Go ahead. It can't be worse than what's already happened."

"All right." I swallowed hard and then told him about Keith's mother.

Robbie let fly with a long angry string of cussing that even impressed Dad while tears slid down his cheeks. He finally ran down and said, "Why? Why there and why her? It's crazy."

Dad said, "No one knows and may never know."

"But that means Keith's all by himself. What's he going to do?"

"Tim had the same questions so I called my ex-wife and gave the problem to her and her law firm. She said she had a lawyer who specializes in child welfare issues and she'd assign Keith's case to him. I haven't heard back from her, but since it looks like Keith will be in the hospital for a while yet we have some time."

Stan came into the room and said, "No one would give me any information since I wasn't a relative, but I talked to your grandmother, Robbie. She told me Keith was maintaining his own, which means he's not getting worse, but he's not getting better either."

Robbie said, "If I can get out tomorrow, I'll try to talk my grandmother into letting us see and talk to him for a few minutes before we go home."

I said, "That sounds good. I think he'd want to know that we're okay."

After that, we made small talk, which grew steadily smaller over the next half hour until it finally disappeared altogether.

Stan stood and said, "Well, I have a story to write. Call me if you think of more details. It should be in the morning edition of the paper tomorrow."

Dad said, "I should go, too. You guys rest and help each other tonight. Be careful, though. You're not alone." He kissed me on the forehead, did the same to Robbie and then he and Stan left.

Robbie let out a double lungful of air in a huge gust and then said, "Man, I didn't think they'd ever leave."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It didn't seem like there was enough air in the room with both of them trying to talk about stuff they thought we might be interested in."

"That's for sure. I wonder if they know that I've never seen a professional basketball or football game in my life."

"Probably not, and Dad doesn't watch or follow professional sports at all s Hearing him talking about sports with Stan is strange. He's been sort of acting weird since Stan's been around. Stan told me that they met in college and were close until they were best man each other's weddings. I wonder what happened."

"Hard to say. You know how adults are. Help me turn over will you? I need to get on my other side. I can do it by myself, but it's easier on my butt if someone helps."

As I helped him, I asked, "How sore is it?"

"Not too bad. In a few days, I should be able to sit on it again."

I helped him settle in bed again and then asked, "So what do you do for fun around here."

"Don't know. I haven't been awake long enough to find out. There's cable though. Maybe we can find a football game."

"I thought you didn't watch football."

"I watch real football. What gringos call soccer. Football here is a bunch of big fat guys running into each other."

Grabbing the remote, I turned the TV on and surfed through the channels. The rest of the afternoon and evening, we watched soccer even when we didn't know who the teams were. We didn't have to say much because we just enjoyed being together. Robbie even talked the nurses into bringing us snacks and carbonated sugar water a couple of times.

At about six-thirty, the door opened. I looked away from the TV and exclaimed, "Colton! I haven't seen you for more than a week."

Robbie said, "Yeah. Where you been? We missed you."

Colton looked pale and unhappy and didn't smile at our greetings. "I guess I've been sort of hiding out since Coach Alan left." With a look of anguish, he ran both hands through his hair and began pacing around the room. "Look guys, I'm sorry about what happened. You know about you getting hurt and especially what happened to Keith and his mother."

I said, "Thanks. But why are you so upset? It wasn't your fault." He turned away from us and leaned his head against the wall. Seeing his reaction, I whispered, "It wasn't, was it?"

He made a fist and thumped the wall. "Not directly, but I might have had something to do with it."

Robbie and I gave each other blank looks and then Robbie said, "How? Coach Alan just went nuts."

Turning, he sat down in the other chair next to Robbie's bed. "It's complicated. You know I model." Robbie and I nodded and he said, "Well, when I was younger, I got a lot of work because I was the right size and had the 'look' that agencies wanted. I made a lot of money and got pretty suck-up and arrogant. But when puberty hit about three years ago, I wasn't cute anymore. Almost overnight, I was almost completely out of modeling work. What jobs I did get didn't pay anywhere as much as before."

Robbie said, "When we were at the spa, I thought you looked good."

"I do for a teenage model, but the work just isn't there for me anymore. Through Keith's mother, I got into a different type of modeling." He stood and began to pace back and forth around the room. "It's hard to explain, but I like modeling. Seeing my pictures in magazines and advertisements was great because I knew people liked seeing the pictures of me. I really, really liked the idea that people thought I was cute and good-looking so I felt admired like a movie star. I even got fan mail from kids who wanted to be a model like me."

"It's great that you like doing it, but what's that got to do with Coach Alan?"

"Like I said, Keith's mother helped me get into a different kind of modeling by introducing me to other photographers. On the second floor of her spa are different studios where photographers rent space to make certain types of pictures. They'd often want me as a model."

I frowned and said, "These 'certain types' of pictures, were they porn?"

"Yes and no. There weren't any pictures of sex-not directly. I started doing fetish modeling."

I asked, "I don't understand. What's that?"

"Some people, almost all of them men, find certain things or situations sexually exciting. The photographers I worked for would have me model in costumes or be in certain poses to sell to people with certain fetishes."

"What sorts of costumes?"

"I'd dress in leather, spandex or rubber. They'd take pictures of me putting on or taking off athletic gear like football or hockey pads or swimsuits. Sometimes, they'd take pictures while I was tied up in ropes or handcuffs and chains or swinging whips or paddles at people. I was never naked and I never did any pictures that involved sex. The men who bought the pictures would probably use them to masturbate with, but that wasn't any concern of mine."

Robbie said, "So that day when we were at the spa together and you left your clothes in the locker, you went upstairs to dress in a costume."

"Right. I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

"But I still don't understand what that has to do with Coach Alan."

"He often bought pictures of me. The photographers put make up on me so I looked older, but I'm sure he knew who the model was in the picture. Anyway, after the camera in the locker was found, he thought that Keith's mother or maybe Keith told everyone that he had pictures."

Robbie fogged the air with another long stream of cussing aimed at Colton.

Colton stood and said, "I understand how you might feel about me. I'm sorry. I like Keith and you guys a lot and I'll never forgive myself for getting involved in the whole picture mess." He jumped to his feet and rushed out the door, saying over and over, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Chapter Sixteen

After Colton bolted out the door, Robbie and I sat silently holding hands and staring at each other, stunned into silence. Finally, I said, "You know what? I barely know what he's talking about. How can Coach Alan going nuts and what Colton was doing be connected?"

Robbie said, "I don't know, but I think we'd better do some internet searches when we get home. Looks like there's a lot more we need to find out."

"Yeah, that's for sure. I wonder how we can get a hold of Colton. We need to talk to him."

"That's a good idea. Maybe he can explain more."

That night, a nurse brought in a cot for me to sleep on. When Robbie got tired and wanted to go to sleep, I made a show of getting ready to use it. Actually, after everyone left and turned off the light, I took the blanket off the cot, crawled into bed with Robbie and covered us both.

It was a long night. Every forty – five minutes to an hour, he'd have a nightmare and I rode along on every one. I managed to get him settled each time so he didn't wake up all the way and I hoped that he wouldn't remember them. By morning, I was exhausted because I was only able to doze between nightmares. The good thing about it-if I can call it that-was that I never slept well enough to have nightmares of my own. When Robbie woke up, I pretended I wasn't tired so he wouldn't worry, but I wasn't fooling him. He was concerned, but I convinced him that I'd be okay after getting some sleep later.

Dr. Wulfers came in after breakfast and asked, "So how was your night, Robbie?"

"Good. Tim says I had nightmares, but I don't remember them."

"The nursing staff tells me you were sleeping soundly. Do you always sleep together?"

Robbie nodded and I said, "We have to. It's the only way I can help when he has nightmares. I don't mind and neither does Robbie."

"I gathered that and I also think that you rather enjoy it."

Robbie scowled and said, "Okay, yeah. You're right and we do. If that helps me, what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing at all, Robbie. The reason I mentioned it is that all the nursing staff who looked in on you guys last night know that you do and I'm sure they'll mention it to your grandmother."

Robbie's face turned red and my ears got hot a sure sign that my face was red, too. Neither of us knew what to say and I grabbed Robbie's hand and held tight, fearing what his grandmother would say. Would she stop letting Robbie stay with me? Not being able to sleep with him would be bad for both of us.

Dr. Wulfers gave us a reassuring smile. "Look, guys, I'm on your side. I'll talk to Robbie's grandmother about it and I'll also talk to your dad, Tim."

I said, "You don't have to. He already knows we sleep together and he understands how important it is to us."

"That's good. You'll both need support from people you trust. Robbie, I've arranged for you to be discharged later this morning. Remember our bargain, however. If your nightmares become more than you can handle, let me know and we'll talk them out." He took two business cards from his pocket and gave them to us, shook hands and left.

After the door closed, Robbie said, "You can bet Grandma's going to keep an eye on us."

"No doubt. I hope Dr. Wulfers talked to Dad. I know he'll talk to your grandmother and convince her that we should stay together."

A nurse came in and changed the bandages on Robbie's butt. His face turned red as he laid face – down on the bed with his bare butt sticking up as she took off the old bandage, cleaned his butt cheeks and put on a new one. The path of the bullet left a red, raw streak across both cheeks and I wondered what sort of a scar it would leave.

Then his grandmother came in with a change of clothes for him and asked me to help him get dressed if he needed it. He was relieved his grandmother or another nurse wasn't going to help him get his underwear on over the bandage.

After he was dressed, I pulled a pillow from his bed and put it on a chair for him to sit on. He eased his butt down and smiled. "That's not too bad. It hurts a little, but I can live with it."

Laughing, I slid a chair up next to his and sat down. While we waited, we talked about nothing and avoided anything to do with school, the shooting and Colton.

We had gotten bored and impatient by the time Robbie's grandmother came back pushing a wheelchair. She said, "You'll have to ride out. It's hospital policy. Also, I got permission for you to visit Keith in intensive care. This isn't normal hospital policy and they're only letting you because of the shooting you're local celebrities. You can stay a minute and you are not to do or say anything that might upset him."

Robbie said, "We understand. All we want to do is to tell him we're okay and we're with him."

I nodded agreeing with Robbie. Then followed along as she rolled him through a maze of corridors and up an elevator where we went into the intensive care unit. After talking to the nurses, she went in with us. Keith's appearance shocked us both. His skin was greyish and his face had thinned. He was connected to all sorts of electronic monitors and had tubes and wires all over him.

Tiptoeing up to the bed, I took one of Keith's hands and Robbie took the other. I said, "Keith, I don't know if you can hear us, but Robbie and I are here. We're okay and we'll visit whenever we can."

Robbie said, "Yeah. Tim and I'll be back as soon as let us in again. Don't leave us. Los Tres Amigos have to stick together, you know."

Then Keith surprised us and smiled. It didn't last long and it wasn't very big, but it was a smile. I said, "That's more like it. Keep going. We need you."

Robbie's grandmother herded us out of the room and we left reluctantly. Outside, Dad was waiting for us. Robbie sat down in the wheelchair again and we headed toward the main entrance and home.

Robbie and I sat in the middle seat of the van, not saying much. I asked, "Dad what are we going to do about school. I don't want to go back there and I don't want to go to public school."

"Do you have anything at the school that you need to get?"

"No! I don't even want to be near that place again let alone go inside."

"What about you, Robbie? I can stop and get things for you so you won't have to go in if you want."

"No. I feel the same as Tim, but I don't know what Grandma's going to do about school. That school was really expensive, but Grandma managed to pay the tuition so I wouldn't have to go to public school and run into someone from Honduras who might know me or my family."

"She and I have been talking about that and at some point, she'll decide where you'll go to school. I talked to Stan about it too and he knows someone who'll homeschool you guys for a while until we decide what to do."

I asked, "Someone's going to come to our house and teach us?"

"For the time being. This thing isn't over yet. Even after the publicity dies down, there'll be weeks and maybe months of legal stuff you'll be involved with. Also, I want to be sure that you'll be safe and away from people who might try to bother you about what happened."

"That sounds like a good idea."

Robbie said, "Yeah, I think so too."

"When your grandmother gets off work, she's coming over and we'll work out the details. Okay?" We both nodded and he said, "Robbie, she'll take you home and then after dinner, I'll bring Tim over so he can spend the night with you."

I asked, "Did she say anything about us sleeping together?"

"Yes and she's not happy about it, but she's willing to let you continue if that's the only way Robbie's nightmares can be controlled. Dr. Wulfers talked to her and convinced her that you two sleeping together wasn't anything for her to worry about."

Robbie and I looked at each other, smiled and held hands. He said, "I'm glad. I wouldn't want to give up sleeping with Tim."

"I understand. What we've worked out is that you'll stay at your grandmother's one night and then at mine the next. Since I'll be working from home, she'll drop Robbie off on her way to work and you'll spend the day together."

I said, "Thanks, Dad. That sounds great."

Robbie said, "Yeah, thanks, Dad."

He chuckled and said, "Don't thank me too much. As soon as we can get it arranged, you two will be in school-not just hanging out."

We groaned and Robbie said, "Well at least we won't have to go back to the school."

Dad said, "Tim, after dinner, pack a bag with a change of clothes and something to wear at night. Robbie's grandmother may let you sleep together, but I'm sure she'll object to you being naked when you do."

Robbie and I laughed and then I told Robbie about Dad giving me a shower when I got back from the hospital.

Robbie said, "I don't know. No one's ever given me a shower before."

"Me neither, but when Dad was done, I felt clean again. It was like he'd washed off all the blood and maybe some memories about what happened. I went to bed as soon as I got dried off and felt a lot better when I woke up."

He shrugged. "All right, but be careful. My butt's still plenty sore."

Dad patted a bag on the passenger seat. "I think Tim has a good idea, Robbie. Since you'll be staying, your grandmother gave me bandages that I'd need to change your dressing."

I said, "We're all set then." I squeezed Robbie's hand and smiled in anticipation of us showering together. Since I was so tried, I was hoping I could relax and get some sleep after we were done.

Dad opened the garage door as he drove up the street to our house and as he pulled into the driveway, I saw a uniformed man sitting in a lawn chair on the porch. I pointed and asked, "Who's that?"

"Security. Your mother hired a private security company to put guards around the house for a few days to keep nosy people away. There's another in back and they only let certain people in. They know Stan and I'll introduce your grandmother when she comes. I'm also keeping the shades drawn and not answering the phone. I bought a disposable cell phone and gave that number out to only people who have to call me."

He drove into the garage and closed the door completely before he'd let us get out. Then he handed me the bag. "You'll have to put a new dressing on after you shower. Make sure Robbie's skin is dry or the tape won't stick. Let me know if you need help."

Together, we said, "Okay, we will." And headed upstairs to my room. We dropped our clothes in the middle of the floor. I threw a clean towel at Robbie and took one of my own then we padded down to the bathroom and closed the door.

"Robbie, bend over the sink and I'll pull the bandage off your butt."

"Okay, but don't yank on it."

I didn't and it came off easily. I threw the bandage into the trash, pulled the shower curtain back and turned on the water. While it warmed up, I grabbed a bottle of liquid soap and a wash cloth.

When we stepped into the tub, I switched the shower flow to the hand – held nozzle and held it over his head. I turned him around and washed his hair and worked my way down from his shoulders to his feet. When I got to the wound, I carefully worked my way around it using lots of water. Turning him to face me, I washed his hair again and down to his feet. When I got to his genitals, I washed them carefully with the washcloth and then the inside of his thighs.

I took a quick shower and Robbie helped wash my back. Then we got out and dried off. I dropped to my knees behind him and gently patted the skin on his butt as dry as could.

Back in my room, I said, "Why don't you lie on my bed like that nurse had you do in the hospital so I can put a new dressing on?" He nodded and lay down. I fumbled with the bandages for a few minutes without making any progress. "How did that nurse do that? It looked so simple. There's no way I can get the tape to stick."

Robbie looked back over his shoulder and said, "Ask your dad if he can help."

"Good idea." I got up and trotted downstairs to get Dad.

He came up and after drying Robbie's butt more with another towel, the bandage stayed in place. I said, "Thanks, Dad."

Robbie said, "Yeah, thanks, Dad."

As Dad got up from the bed, I said, "Robbie and I are going to sleep some more. I didn't get much last night."

"Okay. I'll make lunch for you later. Should I close the door?"

"No, leave it open. We'll be all right."

"I'll check up on you every so often."

Dad walked downstairs and Robbie asked, "What was that about the door?"

"He wants me to leave it open in case I have a nightmare and need him. The bedroom doors don't have locks so we agreed that if you and I wanted privacy, I could close the door and he wouldn't walk in on us."

"Sounds like a good system. Are you ready for bed?"

"Yeah. I'm almost asleep now." We pulled the blankets back and rolled into each other's arms. I don't even remember if I kissed him.

Cool water ran down my cheeks and a wet cloth was on my forehead. I opened my eyes with a start not sure where I was. When my room came into focus, Dad was holding me in his arms and Robbie was kneeling beside me on the bed bathing my face with a damp washcloth. Then I remembered! I saw the gaping black muzzle of the gun and thought I saw a blaze of fire coming at me. I screamed and thrashed in Dad's arms.

He held me tight and said, "It's okay, Tim. It's all over and you're safe."

Robbie stroked my face, saying, "I'm here, Tim. You're at home and in bed. I'll prove it." He put one hand on each side of my face and kissed me, pushing my dream away until I snapped back into my room.

I was still crying, but managed to relax enough that Dad laid me on the bed while Robbie slid up next to me. Dad covered us and asked Robbie, "Will you be all right?"

"Yeah, thanks. I couldn't do anything to help him."

"I think it was because he didn't get much sleep last night. Both of you should sleep whenever you're tired so you don't get so tired. That may help keep your nightmares under control." Dad stood and asked, "Shall I leave the door open?"

"Better. I might need help again."

"I'll do that and sit in my chair in the hall for a while. Next time you guys wake up, I'll make lunch."

Robbie's grandmother stopped at about four o'clock. When she came in, she was still wearing her nurse's uniform and she and Dad went into the kitchen to talk. After about fifteen minutes, they came out.

She called Robbie and I together and said, "I checked on Keith. The bullets that hit him in the abdomen did the most damage and it's been repaired successfully. However, one of his kidneys was hit and the doctors are still trying to save it. He'll have surgery again tomorrow morning and then we'll know more. Since you visited him, he's rallying and the doctors are more optimistic. If you keep your visits short, I can arrange for you to see him again, but not tomorrow. The next day maybe."

I asked, "Does he know about his mother?"

"Not yet. We have counselors in the hospital to help patients to cope with losses like that and I think you and Robbie will be an important part that."

Dad thanked her, I said goodbye and then Robbie and his grandmother left.

Dad closed the door, pulled back the edge of the curtains and watched her car disappear down the street. He turned to me and said, "We have to talk."

"Yeah. We do," I said and walked toward the living room. Dad followed me in and while I waited, he dropped into his chair and leaned back. When he was settled, I climbed into his lap and put my head against his chest.

He said, "You know, I'll be disappointed when you get so big that we can't do this anymore."

I just nodded, rubbing my face against his shirt and settled deeper into his lap. "Do you want to talk to me about the shooting?"

"Only if you want to. I heard what you told Stan and that's enough."

"Thanks, Dad. Maybe we'll talk about it later when a lot of time has passed."

"Fine with me. I'll leave the timing of that up to you. There's something else we do have to talk about. When you stayed overnight with Robbie in the hospital, Stan stayed here with me."

After a long pause while I thought of a reply, Dad stroked my back and hair. I was afraid of the answer, but I collected all my courage and asked, "What are you trying to tell me?"

"Stan and I met our first year in college as roommates and became close friends right away. We lived together all four years and became inseparable. Eventually, I figured out that I loved him, but I didn't tell him because…well that's not supposed to happen to guys. At Christmas our last year in college, he gave me this ring." He held out his right hand to show off the ring he always wore.

I put my fingers on it and rolled it around on his finger. "I wondered where you got that because you never take it off. It's nice."

"It is. The thing is, when Stan gave me the ring, he told me that he loved me."

"So you guys are…" My voice stalled and I couldn't finish my question.

Dad finished it for me. "Gay? Stan is. I'm not."

"But you still loved each other. Is that why you told Robbie and me that it was all right for us to be in love?"

"It is. Once Stan and I admitted we were in love, we didn't know what to do about it. In our society, it's more acceptable for women to be in love that way and not men. Oddly enough, finally saying that we loved each other was when we started to drift apart. I think we thought we were too different."

"Did you guys, you know…"

Again Dad finished my question, "Have sex? No. He never asked and I never offered. I think that was one of the many reasons we drifted apart. Sex between two people in love is enjoyable, but it's also extremely important and a powerful bond between them. That wasn't going to work for Stan and me."

I thought about what Robbie and I were doing and decided that I could live without having sex with him, but it wouldn't be the same. I said, "I think I understand."

Dad ran his fingers around my ear and said, "I believe you do. Anyway, about that time, I met your mother and fell in love with her. Stan met the woman who would be his wife so we both had new partners that we loved."

"But Stan has a daughter. I though guys who were gay couldn't do that."

"Gay men can if they love the woman and he did. His marriage was successful for the first four or five years, but his wife and daughter couldn't handle worrying about him when he took assignments as a correspondent in war zones and divorced him."

"But what does all that have to do with Stan staying overnight?"

"We talked and began to work out our feelings toward each other. Bottom line is that we still love each other and we'd like to be together again."

"Be together? What do you mean?"

"You're twelve years old and it won't be long until you graduate from high school and leave."

"But, Dad that's six years from now. That's like forever."

"Maybe to you, but not to Stan and me. He's lived alone for eight years, but I had you after your mother left. At some point though, you'll be gone and I don't want to live alone. Stan and I want to live together."

"You mean live together now?" He nodded and I asked, "But what about me and Robbie and Keith?"

"I like Robbie a lot and he's beginning to think of me like a father. I'd like him to be here as much as he wants. You probably do too. I think you'll learn to like Stan and eventually accept him as something of a co – father. As far as Keith is concerned, your mother called and told me that when Keith gets out of the hospital, he can live here temporarily after we fill out a bunch of paperwork and have court hearings with the state department of child and family services. After he stays for a while, he may choose to make it permanent."

"So you're saying that maybe we can all live together as sort of a big family?"

"I am, but it depends on you. It's a big decision because it will change how you and I have always lived together. On the other hand, Keith will have a home with people he knows. You and Robbie can alternate between staying here and at his grandmother's and Stan and I will be able to be together again. It seems to me that everyone can come out ahead."

"Wow. I don't know what to say. I like the idea, but I need time to think about it. We need to talk a lot more. I want to talk to Stan too. And you and I and Robbie need to talk too."

"You know that you and Robbie can talk to me as much as you want. When Keith gets better, we'll work out the details together."

"Okay, I'll talk to Robbie about it tonight." I sat up and kissed Dad. "Thanks, Dad. You're always here when I need you."

"I try, but I want you guys to be there for me as well. And maybe Stan."

End of book one