Notes: This story was inspired by a comment by Argo H., who wondered why there's never pussy demons in these stories. After re-reading "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman, a few things clicked in my brain, and here's the result. Also, I wish to say a belated but sincere thank-you to Brian Burke, whose work, although not directly involved here, has been a seminal (pardon the pun) influence to my writing.
Feedback: Avidly welcomed and irregularly answered to at: wakboth2001@yahoo.com It was ten minutes past midnight on a hot, humid August night, and nobody knew that the conglomerated cities of Tetrapolis were facing a dire threat of unearthly origin -- again.
One of the people blissfully unaware of the developements of the near future was James Jarvis, twenty-five, part-time protector of the public, full-time oversexed lecher better known as the Rake, and currently looking for a good lay. He was cruising the crowd in the new Harbor Club, eyeing the available females with the practiced eye of a man who gets more sex in a day than most men manage in a month.
Spotting a nice-looking girl at the bar, he deftly manouvered through the bodies, giving a few appreciative squeezes and pats on particularly attractive rumps and tits, ignoring the squeals and yelps of surprised indignity his passing caused.
Seating himself next to the girl, he gave her a quick, surreptious once-over: no ring, check. No bra, check. He sniffed the air, concentrating on the faint odor he was looking for, and found it. She was female, all right. (James was open-minded, sure, but he drew the line at other men, at least without women, or sheep, or conveniently shaped inflatable objects involved.)
Turning on his charm, he smiled at the girl and said: "Hello, sweets! What say you if we go and have some mind-blowing sex until you can't walk straight?"
The girl stared at him, ignoring his rugged good looks and clothes tailored to show off his enhanced musculature and masculinity, and threw her drink into his face. "Hell no, you fucking pervert!" Huffing indignantly, she stood up and walked away. James wiped the drink from his eyes and licked his lips, a surprised expression on his face.
He nudged the bartender, pointing at the departing girl's back. "I'll have one of whatever she was drinking." The bartender nodded and, after a few moments, provided him with a froshy cool drink that looked yellow and bubbly and tasted vaguely of melons. "You're the Rake, aren't you?" he asked, curious. James nodded, sipping his drink. "Can I ask you a few questions?"
"Sure, go on." The barman pointed at James' wet hair, with a confused look on his face. "I thought you would have a better pick-up line, if half the stuff tabloids are printing is true." James grinned. "Oh, this is the best I've found, so far. You see, most guys don't want to hear "no" for an answer; they have all kinds of worries about their manliness. Me, I don't have such hang-ups! Anyway, this way I'm not saddled with those chicks who want a relationship or a sensitive guy to talk to, or anything but a good, thorough fucking." He finished his drink and added. "Plus it works, too. I got an average of eighteen percent positive answers!"
Noticing another promising woman, he put a five-buck bill on the bar and grinned. "Keep the rest; I've got to check this one out!"
***
The girl Rake had his eyes on was indeed one to draw eyes towards her. She was dark, exotic and shapely, with large, round breasts, slim waist, curving hips and a rear that just begged to be squeezed. Her black hair cascaded down her back in long tresses, sparkling with what looked like silver dust sprinkled there, while her olive skin was glistening with small beads of perspiration that made her short, black dress cling to her body like paint.
She was dancing with smooth, sensual motions that made most of the on-looking men and more than a few of the women feel a burning in their loins, but nobody had dared to act upon their desires yet. To be rejected by such a paragon of womanhood would be a pain too mordant for them to bear.
James had no such qualms. He stopped before her, eyeing her with frank admiration and smiling lecherously. "Why hello, honey! I sure do see something that I like; do you see what you like?" he asked, making a slight, suggestive thrust with his hips and ignoring the jealous gazes stabbing at his invulnerable ego from every direction.
The dancing woman returned his look with an equally smoldery one, licking her dark red lips. "I might, darling," she said and stepped closer, wrapping one hand around the Rake's neck and bending his head down into a kiss, while her other hand cupped the groin of his tight faux-leather pants, causing a visible reaction.
Pulling back from the kiss for a gulp of air, Rake smiled broadly. "Ooh, a hands-on approach! I like your style, honey! How about we skip this joint; your place or mine?" His hand moved down the woman's back, caressed her buttocks for a moment, then went down her thigh and back up beneath her skirt, confirming his guess about her lack of underwear.
She smiled back at him. "Love to. It'll have to be your place; I'm new in town, but it looks like I might stay..." James nodded and started to guide his newest soon-to-be girlfriend towards the door, licking and nibbling her ear while his fingers did some preliminary work beneath her skirt.
***
The apartment the Rake shared with his former schoolmate Dinah Drew, his partner in the fateful chemistry accident back in the high school, and now a fellow crimefighter as well as an unstoppable little slut just as eager for sex as himself, was conveniently near the center of the night-life.
He guided the woman to the bedroom they kept for entertaining visitors (They had another bedroom for their personal use, with lots of sex toys ranging from mundane through bizarre to outrageous, as well as persistent piles of dirty laundry, empty bags of snacks and dog-eared erotic novels; neither James nor Dinah was very interested in doing the housework), thankful that Di was on the prowl herself. If she was here, she would want to share, and a lot of the women James brought home weren't all that keen on that.
"Sorry about the mess," he said, kicking an empty can of vaseline under the bed and opening the small fridge in the corner. "Want something to drink?" he asked for the sake of formality, gesturing at the stack of beer cans and a row of airline bottles of various boozes, as well as one of Dinah's dildos kept cooling here, waiting for its owner.
The woman looked around the room with a humored expression. "No, thank you very much. I don't mind the mess, I've seen much worse. You can call me Billie, by the way." She sat on the bed and opened her legs, smiling invitingly. "You can look, but you can't touch... not quite yet," she said, hitching up her skirt and exposing her pussy.
James had a fairly good idea of what he was going to see, based on the information gathered by his roving fingers, but the sight of Billie's honey pot still brought a smile onto his face. She was shaved, and not just shaved, but apparently also waxed; her skin was completely smooth, without even a hint of stubble or roughness.
She was also hot and very willing, he noticed, seeing how small beads of moisture trickled from between her pussy lips. James inhaled deeply, filtering out the familiar smells of the bedroom and of himself, concentrating on that particular feminine scent again, and grinned. "Billie, sweetie, I think it's about time to do some touching."
He kneeled to the bedside and flexed his mouth in anticipation. Getting the girl into a proper mood was half the fun, after all! To his considerable surprise, however, Billie placed a restraining hand on his forehead. "Not that, honey. I want something more . . . substantial. I want you, inside me."
James raised his eyebrows in surprise, but then shrugged. So, if the lady wanted to get down into the business straight away, that was fine by him. Standing up, he slipped out of his badly strained pants and dove in, aiming straight for her pussy.
Pressing the head of his cock between her labia, he was surprised again; she was tight, far tighter than he had expected, and despite her being almost dripping wet, he had to push hard to get more than his cockhead into her. Her flesh was grasping his shaft, resisting his outstroke with delicious friction that he rarely got even from Dinah's ass. This girl was a jackpot, he thought, and doubled his efforts.
With each thrust, Rake got a bit deeper, but didn't pull entirely out afterwards. This was no big deal, however, since she seemed to get even better inside than out; it felt like he was being given a handjob simultaneously with the old-fashioned fucking. There was just one slight problem, James thought; Billie seemed to respond to him well enough, but to his finely tuned instincts there was something missing from her.
Then his train of thought was interrupted as the sweet, warm suction drew him over the edge and he fired his load into her. Billie seemed to welcome his coming, as she moaned loudly and started to trash under him, her eyes rolling back in her head. James muzzily noticed that his sperm was being sucked deeper into her cunt, like she was deep-throating him...
***
From the viewpoint of an objective onlooker, the scene on the bed would have looked very strange. The laws of perspective appeared to have taken a lunch break, as it seemed almost like she was getting bigger while he was shrinking, although both remained the same in proportion to the bed and the room.
James was getting a feeling that something was wrong, but he wasn't entirely sure what it was. He was still pumping into her, with all of his considerable strength, but it seemed that with each stroke he was being pulled in, inch by inch. Now the lovely, suckling warmth had enveloped his entire ten-inch dick, and with the next push, he felt his balls slipping in as well. The sudden feeling of dozens of warm, slick, soft tongues licking his scrotum caused him to orgasm again, and again his coming lauched a new convulsion in Billie.
Twenty minutes later he was inside Billie up to his waist. Ten more minutes, and he was in up to his nipples, cumming inside her like there was no limit as he was given an exquisite full-body fucking. From there, it took only five minutes for him to vanish entirely within her...
The perspective snapped back with an almost audible "thwap" and Billie spasmed one, last time. There was a wet, hungry sound as her cunt smacked its lips before settling. Slowly she sat up and rubbed her flat stomach, malicious smile on her face. "My, you were a tasty one," she purred. "I think my stay here will be very nice..."
***
Dinah Drew, the Body Public, three times voted the city's Most Available Woman, ambled from the elevator dressed in clothes that would have gotten her tossed out from a fetish convention for indecent exposure, suspicious stains in her blonde hair and on her thighs, bare midriff, mostly bare chest and cheek. (Suspicious as in they might have been mayo. Considering who she was, however, they probably were just what you think they were...)
Her night had been a good one: she had stopped a bank robbery, talked a depressed man back from the edge of the Multi-State Bridge by giving him a reason to live, and finally beaten up a morlock gang that had tried to gang-bang her (With considerable success; in Dinah's opinion work didn't always come before fun).
Hoping that her partner had been equally successful, she opened the apartment door and stepped in. One of the benefits of being a licensed superhero was that you didn't have to lock your doors, since nobody sane was going to rob you, and the insane ones wouldn't be held back by a simple lock anyway.
She paused in the doorway, sniffing the air. Besides the normal background odors, there was the unmistakeable smell of recent sex, heavy with the scent of her partner. Dinah grinned; so, James had brought some of the work back home! Maybe she could get a piece of the action, too...
Walking into the guest bedroom, she saw a naked girl lying on the bed, but there was no trace of her partner. The woman lifted her head and smiled languidly at her. "Oh, hello. You must be the Bantam Broad; I'm Billie."
Dinah nodded in affirmation, sniffing the air for James's scent. Billie noticed this and rubbed her belly. "If you are looking for your partner, I got a mite peckish, and he... volunteered to go and get some food. Maybe we can do something in the meantime?" The glimmer in her eye told Dinah exactly what the something was...
***
A few moments later, the two women were on the bed, screwing like they might be going straight any moment now. Dinah had taken the initiative, fingering Billie with expertise brought by endless hours of practice both alone and in company.
She was somewhat surprised at the tightness of the other woman; surely, after James had finished with her, she would be a lot more loosened up... unless he had restricted himself on other parts of her, leaving Billie's pussy for Dinah. Such thoughtfulness was unusual for James, and Dinah decided to reward it to him soon, probably in kind.
Concentrating on the business on hand, she flexed the two fingers she had inserted into Billie, and was rewarded by a drawn-out moan. Grinning, Dinah slipped a third finger in, quickly followed by the fourth. "You know Zen? 'What's the sound of one hand clapping,' and stuff like that?" she asked. Billie nodded, gasping happily. "Well, here's a Tantric koan: What's the sound of one hand fucking?" With that, she curled her hand into a fist, confident that Billie would demonstrate the answer to her question.
To Dinah's considerable surprise, Billie's reaction was almost anticlimactic, as if getting fisted was an everyday thing to her! There was something strange here, she thought, starting to work her hand in and out of her -- mostly in, as Billie's sucking flesh seemed to resist her pulling out -- determined to make her howl in pleasure.
Again, had there been an objective observer in the room, things would have looked very strange to him. By now, Bantam Broad had her arm up to her elbow inside Billie, pumping in a vigorous fashion that should have, by every right, jostled her liver.
Starting to wonder what was going on, Dinah pushed with her other hand against Billie's groin, only to find that her hand slipped into the sweet, slick, sucking warmth. Now, this was definetely unusual, Dinah thought; she was fairly certain that most women didn't enjoy double-fisting in the same orifice, nor were even capable of that! (She herself both did and was, of course.)
Ten minutes later, the only thing visible of Dinah was one foot sticking out of Billie's cunt, her toes rhytmically curling and uncurling as she was orgasming from the whole-body sensory overload. Billie placed one hand on Dinah's sole and pressed, pushing the foot into her. She smacked her pussy lips, the long, slimy clitoris licking away the last drops of sweat from the swallowed heroine, and burped. "I don't usually do girls, sweetie, but hey, it does one good to expand one's limits, you know," Billie said and laughed nastily. Getting up, she started to dress again; the night was still young...
***
Waking up, Dinah found herself in a pink place. Not the sweet, innocent pink of a young girl's bedroom; this was the fleshy, vivid pink of female sexual anatomy. The air was hot and humid, with an overpowering, musky and sour smell that almost made her gag. What she could see of the place in the throbbing pink light looked a lot like what H.R. Giger might have produced if he was asked to do the interior decoration for a brothel, with weirdly arched roof supported by throbbing, veiny pillars and tendons of living flesh, and ridged walls dripping with slime from dozens of bizarrely shaped orifices.
"Di! I thought you might end here, too!" The familiar voice of James shook her out of her stupor, along with several hands lifting her up from the pool of slime she had been lying in. Focusing her eyes, Dinah saw her partner, naked and slimy, and looking less cock-sure than usual. Then she took in the rest of her helpers, and gaped.
James noticed her confusion, and grinned bashfully. "Yeah, it takes a bit of getting used to. This here's Ichwhatnot-", he said gesturing to the weird creature standing next to him "Ikkvadnothk," the thing corrected. "Yeah, that. Anyway, he can explain what's going on better than I."
The creature looked a bit like humanoid dog, except that his toothy grin split his face up vertically, and instead of two he had four eyes. He was most definetely a he, Dinah noticed, with a long, curiously ridged dick and two pairs of balls between his legs. The dog-thing coughed and spoke in a surprisingly good English that had a slight lecturing tone.
"You have been devoured by the Unspeakable Feminine Entity named Bilqualthal'lagoul'choolkogoul, or 'Billie' as it seems to call itself on your particular probability plane, and are within its polydimensional vaginal cavern," he said.
"That meansss it ate you out," a serpentine humanoid with two slender dicks added, earning a reproachful glance from the dog-man. "Yes, well, that is a crude but reasonably accurate way to put it. The fact that you survived the process indicates that your orgone energy count is too high for the Unspeakable Feminine Entity, hereafter referred as UFE, to absorb at once."
He gestured towards the slimy orifices in the walls. "The UFE drains and metabolises orgone, which it seeks to draw from us by coaxing us to use these simulated genitalia. By a strict policy of abstinence, we have managed to keep our energy levels from falling too much, and have survived thus far. I am unsure what modifications the UFE will make to accommodate your presence here; you seem to be female, after all."
Dinah looked around her, taking in the fact that all of her fellow prisoners were indeed male, displaying a variety of genitalia that made her very curious... and horny. "So, she sucked you in while you were fucking, right?"
Ikkvadnothk blinked each of his four eyes in sequence, causing Dinah's eyes to water. "Well, yes... I'm a scientist, studying and categorising sexual practices, and the UFE managed to apply as a research assistant." He gestured towards the serpent-man and continued. "This is Sss'stsak, who was infiltrating the harem of a local monarch for reasons he claims were entirely political, and was thus captured."
"Araga-Fhair," he indicated a reasonably handsome man who, except for his four arms and blue skin, would have passed as a human almost everywhere, "was a professional erotic entertainer of females." The blue man saluted Dinah with his hands and grinned, revealing pointy teeth.
"Tyuil and Kxaraz," Ikkvadnothk concluded, gesturing towards a tall, bony humanoid with a beak-like mouth and spiny crest, and a vaguely insectile creature whose mandibled face belied no emotion, "are both space pilots, and were snatched from a victory party."
He sighed. "There have been others, but one by one they have faded away, mostly because they couldn't restrain themselves. I hope you two will last longer than most; it has been quite a long time since we had new faces here."
Dinah looked thoughtful. "So, you say this thing eats orgone, right?" Ikkvadnothk nodded. "And you say I'm the first girl in here that you know of, right?" Another nod. "And we, me and James, have too high energy levels to eat, and so do you?" "Yes, that is something of an oversimplification, but yes...". James seemed to understand where Dinah was going, and began to smile broadly. "And you all have been holding back for a some time now, right?"
The dog-man nodded again, apparently not yet catching her drift. "Yes. Fortunately, Tyuil claims he has an absolute timing sense, and we have established a routine of one mating per one hundred and eight sleep cycles. It is not very satisfying, of course, but we manage." Dinah nodded. "I think I know a way we can all get out of this dump..."
The aliens looked at each other, evidently surprised. Sss'stsak, the serpent-man, hissed loudly. "Isss ssshe ssuggesssting what I think ssshe isss?" James grinned. "That's my Di! She's the brains in our outfit, I'm the good-looking one!" Dinah cast him a nasty glance but ignored the jest for now. "Yeah. I think we can give this thing an indigestion. Do you think you can manage it, boys?" she asked coyly and tweaked one nipple between her fingernails. The sight of seven variously shaped cocks rising to the challenge was the only answer she got.
***
Moving through the crowds of the harbor district, the being calling itself Billie was looking for a third meal. She was feeling pretty sated from the two she had gulped up before, but the natives of this world seemed to be tasty. It wasn't as if she had to worry about her lines! As she entered the Coconut Club, she felt a faint twinge inside her "belly", but put it down to hasty eating.
***
In the pink cavern, things were starting to heat up already. Araga-Fhair was holding Dinah at waist height in the air with his lower pair of arms, using the upper pair to massage her breasts with skill that told her he had been an expensive guy back in his home. She was more than happy to pay him back by licking the underside of the bright blue cock right above her face!
James and Ikkvadnothk were holding her by her hips, one on each side of her, rubbing some of the slime gathered from the floor onto her stomach and buttocks, causing them to tingle nicely. Dinah was servicing them, one in each hand, alternating between quick, sharp tugs and long, drawn-out squeezes. The bony ridges of the alien scientist's member felt interesting against her palm, and she was eager to do some further experimentation later on.
Tuyil and Kxzarax, the space pilots, were holding her legs, rubbing their cocks against her slime-slickened skin, and doing their best to stimulate her by nibbling her legs and feet gently with their beak and mandibles; the feeling was weird but unquestionably erotic.
This left Sss'stsak, standing between her spread legs, free to concentrate on her twin openings, his forked tongue flicking feather-light against her flesh as his smoothly scaled fingers rubbed and teased her mound, sending lovely little shivers up and down her spine.
"Ready?" the serpent-man asked, getting a muffled moan of agreement in reply. Taking one of his stiff dicks in each hand, he twisted his hips slightly, pushing into Dinah's eagerly awaiting body. She purred happily and managed to get her mouth around Araga-Fhair's cock, not neglecting the guys she was giving the hand-jobs to, either...
***
Billie was feeling vaguely ill, the way she had never felt before, even after that time she had eaten that space marine platoon. She put down the alcoholic drink she had been sipping, wondering if some of its additives could have caused this reaction.
A promising-looking human, fairly glowing with latent passion, sat down next to her and smiled to her. Billie pushed her discomfort aside and answered his smile, eager to get on with her next meal.
***
Araga-Fhair was the first one to come, groaning loudly as his throbbing dick fired the first load into Dinah's mouth and on her face. His come was also blue, with a weird, almond-like taste, but Dinah didn't mind; instead, she tried her best to lick it all up.
***
"So, do you come here often?" the man asked. Billie smiled, wondering that even such a limited entity would settle for such an cliched pick-up line, and gave him a smoldering look. "I might, honey," she said. "Maybe you could-- ugh!"
The sudden twinge of pain inside her caused Billie to twitch, drawing a surprised look from the man. "Are you all right?" he asked. Billie nodded, her smile faltering slightly. "Oh, yes. Just... some slight... discomfort. It must be something I ate," she said, a faint hint of worry evident on her face.
***
Tyuil came next, his crest flaring wildly, spouting hot, sticky liquid on Dinah's leg, his beak pinching her toes almost painfully. She gasped happily, tugging hard on the cocks of her partner and the four-eyed alien scientist, eager to get them off. Her efforts were well rewarded as first James, then Ikkvadnothk climaxed, shooting sticky, white and oily, greenish sperm into her hands and onto her body, triggering her own orgasm; Dinah enjoyed being liberally coated with spunk.
***
Billie groaned and spasmed, her breath coming in fast gasps now. The man sitting next to her reached out to her, but she slapped his hand back harshly. "I'm all right!" she snarled, revealing sharp fangs and a segmented, squirming tongue. Her intended dessert stared at Billie with widened eyes, hoping that he was having a hallucination.
***
With Kzxarax dribbling thick, pasty goo on her leg and Sss'stsak increasing the pace of his thrusts, reaming both Dinah's pussy and ass, she was feeling happy as a clam. "Oh yeah! Come on, keep up the good work!" she cried out, coaxing the spent cocks of her lovers back into action.
Just then the serpent-man orgasmed, first into her ass, then into her cunt, his hot spunk giving rise to the familiar desire. "Yeah! That's more like it," she said, grinning inanely, and clenched her ass more tightly around his ophidian cock, milking it for every drop he had to give.
As he pulled out of her with an audible popping sound, Dinah looked at Ikkvadnothk and grinned. "Want to do some experimenting with me?" The scientist responded by moving between her opened thighs and putting the tip of his bony cock on her lips, then ramming his entire length into her with one quick thrust. Dinah took that as an empathetic 'yes' and started to work her internal muscles over his ridged member.
***
Billie was now in visible distress, shaking and groaning, with small constellations of weird, pink lights flickering beneath her skin as she rocked back and forth on her bar stool.
Although most of the club-goers were still unaware of anything strange going on, those who could see her were doing their damnedest to get as far from her as possible. Thus she was already surrounded by a wide space that was growing every moment.
The bartender, unable to get away without passing close to Billie, was crouching behind the bar, frantically fumbling for his cellphone. He wasn't entirely sure what the hell was going on, but he was going to let the cops sort that out... and the hero team on duty... and the Sisters of St. Buffy, and everyone else he could think of who might be of any help.
***
Inside the pink place, the creature's distress was even more evident. Geysirs of slime and steam erupted everywhere around the six men and the woman they were passing around. The floor was shaking and the roof was fluttering like a wind-tossed cloth, the shudders and convulsions coming in synch with their movements.
Dinah lifted her face from Kzxarax's armored abdomen, sperm dribbling from the corner of her mouth, and concentrated on the double hand-job she was giving to Sss'stsak. Behind her, Araga-Fhair roared as he pumped more spunk into her already overflowing cunt and pulled out. Feeling the familiar shape of James' dick slipping between her buttocks, she decided that this was it. "Okayyy, everyone who can, ohh!, try- Ahh! try to cum in, in, in, oh yeah, in synch!" she wailed and wiggled her hips to allow her partner to push deeper into her.
***
By now, everyone could see that something was badly wrong with the girl in the bar. Billie was lying on the floor, gnashing her teeth and snarling threats in several obscure languages, most of which were not meant for human mouth. Her features were melting rapidly, and the unmistakeable bulges of dozens of breasts were stretching her dress.
With a ripping sound, the seams gave way, and the Unspeakable Feminine Entity Bilqualthal'lagoul'choolkogoul spilled out in a heap of pink, fleshy tissue. Several short, stubby tentacles waved around the puckered, toothless orifices that were now giving an uniform, gargling wail. Only the bartender, trapped at his workplace, could hear the last words she had to say:
"Urgghh! Mother... Glaaakh! You were... sgllurgugl... right... Stick to the males... bleeaarlglgh!"
***
With a cacophony of cries, howls and gasps, six males and one female orgasmed simultaneously, jetting sexual fluids all over themselves and releasing a thunderous orgone burst. The walls of the pink cavern ruptured, the floor buckled and the roof slammed down before the flash of pink light wiped everything away.
In the bar, Billie gave a single, final convulsing shudder and burst with a sickening sound. Shreds of twitchy pink flesh spattered against the walls and the roof, flapping and squirming, while an seemingly endless fountain of musky-smelling slime and juices erupted from the hole torn in spacetime.
Seven shapes, clinging together, still twitching with the aftershocks of their combined orgasm, fell out of the rip and collapsed on the floor. Behind them, the rip closed with a snapping sound. For a second, a stunned silence reigned in the bar; then the slime-drenched and nauseous crowd erupted in a single, primal sound: "EEEeeeeewwwwWWWW!!!!"
***
Epilogue: The Coconut Club was closed for a few days for cleaning, and also because the team of paraphysicists from U of Tetrapolis wanted to check for any latent dimensional rips (and make damn sure that they remained latent).
Ikkvadnothk and his pals were given temporary quarters at the University, until someone figured out a way to return them back to their proper dimensions. They had turned down Dinah's and James' friendly invitation, claiming that they needed some rest after their ordeal...
Dinah and James were sued by the club owners for damage to both the club and its reputation. Their answer was along the lines of "Hey, we just saved the world from a man-eating demon cunt, give us a break!" (Although said in a far more circumspect way by their lawyer). The thing was eventually settled in a rather intense session of 'negotiations'. Or, as Dinah put it: "Lawyers are supposed to be good at screwing people, but they're really just amateurs..."