NO KNICKERS
I had an email from a (male) reader in Ireland asking me why I don't use the word "knickers" in my stories. He wondered why a woman in Britain (where panties are usually called knickers) would choose to adopt what he called "American terminology" for these items of female underwear. In the USA, he added, the term "knickers" is applied only to baseball trousers and similar garments, but never to panties. So he figured that I probably avoid referring to knickers in my stories because it wouldn't convey any meaning to readers in the States. His guess is pretty close to the truth, but there's more to it than that.
Firstly, I suspect that most Americans are aware of what knickers mean in a British (or Irish or Australian) context. I reckon that a keyword search for "knickers" on ASSTR would probably yield a whole bunch of stories written by UK authors, with none of their websites carrying an explanation of the word for the benefit of American readers. OK, so why don't I say "knickers" instead of "panties" in my stories? The answer is simple: I think the word detracts from the erotic atmosphere in a story, mainly because of a strong link with UK slang and slapstick comedy. Anybody who is familiar with the awful "Carry On" movie series (popular in the UK during the '60s and '70s) will know what I mean. The trouble is that these comic connections have never really gone away.
Ironically, I regularly use the word "knickers" in everyday speech. So do all my friends, male or female, even those who come to Britain from non-English-speaking countries. Last year, for instance, the apartment I share with Karen became a summer vacation hostel for Siggi and Sybille, two lovely German girls who ride around Europe on a huge motorcycle. They're a lesbian couple who befriended Karen during her rock-climbing/pussy-licking trip to Austria a few years ago. Both girls speak English very well, but what fascinated me most (not counting their cute bottoms in clingy black leather!) was their use of "knickers" when referring to their underwear. I asked Sybille why she didn't say "panties" and she replied that her schoolteachers in Germany had told her to say "knickers" if she ever visited Britain or Australia. Even more interesting was her admission that she switches to "panties" whenever she visits her brother in Seattle. So, at her brother's house she'll say to her sister-in-law: "Are my black panties in the laundry basket?" while in our apartment she'll say: "Has anyone seen my black knickers?" Siggi, by contrast, was taught English by an American woman who told the whole class to refer to panties as "underpants", a word which applies solely to male underwear in the UK. It must get pretty confusing for European women when they want to buy panties in an English-speaking country. Imagine the bemused looks from staff in a British lingerie store if a German tourist walked in and asked for some red lace underpants!
Here's a good example of why I don't use "knickers" in my stories. About six weeks ago I was eating in a restaurant with two female colleagues from the office. One of them dropped her fork on the floor and said "Knickers!", which in the UK is a polite way of saying "Oh shit!". The people at the nearby tables all knew what she meant and nobody looked puzzled, but if she'd said "Panties!" everyone would have been completely mystified. The point I'm making is that panties are erotic but knickers aren't. Here's another example, again involving a work colleague. My boss is a guy who speaks bluntly in meetings and gets bored by all the committee jargon. I remember when he got rather annoyed with an IT salesman in a high-powered meeting at a conference and registered his low opinion of the salesman's ideas by saying: "Knickers to that!" Everybody at the meeting knew exactly what he meant, the word "knickers" being used in the UK as a way of telling someone that they're talking a load of garbage. It's interesting that people are now saying things like "It's all pants!" in the same context.
Earlier I mentioned the Carry On movies, all of which I loathe. If you ever have the misfortune to watch one of these unfunny films, just look at the actors' faces whenever one of them mentions "knickers". The word seems to trigger alot of furtive sniggering and smirking, among the audience as well as the actors. If any character mentioned "panties" the overall comic effect would be lost. The upshot is that knickers are funny but not sexy.
OK, that's not altogether true. I guess it depends on the situation. If I cast my mind back to my university days I can see myself standing on the dancefloor in a smoky lesbian bar, writhing slowly on my own with only a beer bottle to hold. A group of four or five butch dykes encircled me, staring and grinning. In those days I used to wear very short skirts and heavy studded belts, with my hair in a skinhead style and my mouth pouting in black lipstick. Anyway, one of the butch girls came up behind me and grabbed my waist, holding me really tight and copying my slow solo dance. Her friends watched us for a while before wandering off to buy more drinks. The butch was a very masculine woman who scared me a little, but I knew we'd have sex that night. "What colour are your knickers?" she asked suddenly, the question sounding curiously erotic. I smiled at her but gave no answer, so she lifted my skirt and got a peek at my black panties before I could snatch the hem out of her hand. I glared at her, but she clearly found the incident very amusing. I swore at her but she just pressed her finger to my mouth and called me "Princess Sexy Knickers." She walked off to rejoin her friends and I turned my back on her, but she woke in my bed the next morning and we spent the whole weekend fucking.
The reader from Ireland asked me if I might consider the occasional use of "knickers" in my writing, to which I replied that the word will definitely feature in my forthcoming "true stories" because the dialogue involves UK-based women and the conversations are real. I'm currently writing an account of a shameful panty-thieving adventure at a conference in Scotland, at which myself and a sexy femme got drunk and did some very kinky things with another woman's underwear. It was a night when our conversation was mostly about "knickers" and I'll do my best to report the whole thing as accurately as possible. So I guess I'll be writing about knickers after all ...
THE END
Copyright � 2004 Jenny Kay