Old Men�s Darlings

by Kellis, Summer, 2014

�Don�t hang up, Grandpops, it�s Melanie!�

�Hang up?� When a sweet young thing calls me on her cell phone, I never hang up.� What can I do for you, my dear?�

�You can drop dead and leave me a million dollars.�

�What�s the hurry on dropping dead?� I could just give you a million dollars, if you had some serious use for it.�

�How about getting a fire-engine red Ferrari to help me attract a replacement for Harvey?�

He chuckled.� �Yeah, that�s serious but only to you.� Try thinking a little wider.�

�How wide?�

�Well �� How about a robot in the shape of a young girl to help me with my bath?�

�Ha, got you!� That would be serious only to you.�

�Not at all.� Believe me, she would be delightful to a lot of old men, especially if she had a sweet pussy like yours.�

�Huh!� What could you do with a sweet pussy?�

�Eat it out, of course, though I doubt a robot�s would have much flavor.� Still, it�s the idea that counts.�

�Sweet like mine, you said.� Thank you, I think.�

�Well, I never tasted yours, but I can dream.�

She giggled.� �Harvey said it was sweet.�

�What happened?� Surely he didn�t change his mind!�

�No, he found another one he must�ve thought was sweeter.�

�The dumb ass!� Another might be sweet but none could be sweeter.�

�Ooo!� Grandpops, I like the way you dream.� But you don�t need a robot, you know.�

�Don�t I?� Robots can be trusted.� The last woman I hired nearly jumped out of her skin when I wiggled my tongue at her.� She tried to have me charged with sexual harassment.�

�Lots of girls would love to help a rich old man with his bath, especially one with a wiggly tongue.�

�Would they?� What do I do, advertise for �Young girl to wipe old man�s ass?��

Again she giggled.� �After young girl say, �Who loves having her pussy licked.��

�You think that would attract them?�

�If you start with �Rich man wants.��

�Let�s see: �Rich old man wants young girl, who loves having her pussy licked, to wipe his ass.��� He chuckled.� �Sounds good.� I�m not up on the media these days.� Where should I run this attractive ad?�

�How about in my ear?�

Pause.

�Because it�ll go straight out the other one?�

�Now, Grandpops, that wasn�t kind.�

�At least I didn�t tell you to �� No, and it wasn�t true either.� What did you mean?�

�I can dream too.�

�Yeah, about a replacement for Harvey.� That should be easy for you.�

�Yes, altogether too easy.� I�m tired of the Harveys.�

�But not of their cocks, right?�

�Right.� Too bad they have to be hung on such jerks.�

He chuckled defensively.� �Your young jerks don�t take the long view.� The problem with us who do is that our cocks don�t work reliably.�

�Is that really true?� I�ve heard that the trouble with old men is old women.�

�How so?�

�Cocks always swell up for the young ones with the right shape and odor.�

�Indeed they do!�

�My psychology professor says that porn focuses old men�s interest too much on young bods.� You got a lot of porn on your computer, Grandpops?�

Pause.

�It�s an interesting theory.� Do you have friendly chats with your psychology professor, dear?�

�No.� I don�t like his goatee, but his lectures are entertaining.�

�That�s something else I need a robot for: to shave.�

�Why does it need a pussy?�

�For entertainment as much as utility.�

�I saw on YouTube that the Japanese are making girl-shaped robots that look pretty good.�

�With pussies?�

�You think a geek would make a pretty girl without that essential item?�

�You have a point.�

�Of course, I don�t know that she could shave you or wipe your ass.� What you need is a slave girl.� You were born about 200 years too late.�

�Just my luck!�

�Maybe you can find a pretend one, say at a couple thou a week.�

�You know, that could even be a business opportunity for you.�

She paused thoughtfully then giggled.� �An employment agency for pretend slave girls?� I already know its name: �Old Men�s Darlings.��

�Except your applicants might expect to become wives.�

�Well, what�s wrong with that?� If they were told up front it�s just a possibility.�

�You could even include training for staying current on the news, how to shave, cut hair, draw a bath ��

�Wipe an ass neatly, make a pussy taste good.� Hmm.� How to keep on giving head without getting a pain in the neck.�

�Oh, yes!� That one would be very useful.�

They both chuckled.� She added, �How to nurture old men despite the flab.�

�Probably the toughest lesson.� I foresee great demand for your girls.�

�Maybe even by the girls: unemployable high school graduates, Latinas whose backs aren�t dry yet, out-of-work divorcees, whores tired of their street corners, sluts who�ve gotten too popular �� My God, they�d beat down my doors!�

�You�re warming to the idea.�

�You know, it could almost work.�

�Maybe on the black market.�

�I wonder ��� She sighed.� �Would you believe I can guess how I�d have to do it � with a partner who was a cop or a city councilman.� But would you actually supply the startup money?�

He chuckled.� �How much are we talking about?� Certainly a lot less than a million.�

�Let�s see �� Five grand to rent an office with a training room, another two or three for a receptionist slash trainer �� But where would I advertise?�

�Could you hire an agency?� My last want-ads appeared in newspapers, which I know don�t circulate among the young nowadays.�

�No, they don�t,� she agreed.� �It just occurred to me I know a guy, Percy Blatt, met him in a bar recently.� He�s a councilman and anybody can tell he�s on the make.�

�You�d have to give him a big cut.� Speaking of knowing someone, I wonder if Nell Pleasants is still alive.� She might have good advice.�

�One of your ex-girlfriends?�

�Ex-girlfriend to a lot of guys.� She was a successful madam in her day.� I don�t see too much difference between what we�re talking about and her kind of business.�

�Maybe so.� The problem is, I don�t have much experience � none at all charging for it.�

�May I suggest a dry run?�

�A what?�

�You need to rent yourself out for a week, see how it goes.�

�Do you have a client in mind?�

�As a matter of fact ��

�Oh-ho!� But what�s your stand on incest?�

�It has one big advantage: everything about it has to stay in the family.�

�Grandpops, this is getting serious, like you said in the beginning.� Which is silly.� I don�t believe you could stand a slave girl hovering over you all day.�

�What hovering?� She�d be kneeling between my legs while I watched porn.�

�Sucking your cock, squeezing your balls or fingering up your ass?�

�Why not all three?�

�You�d soon get tired of that.� In fact, that�s the real problem with this whole idea.� Mostly the girl would have nothing to do.� Remember, we�re talking about old men!�

�When I was young, I had a friend who visited his girlfriend in another town every weekend.� On Monday he�d brag about sitting on her couch, watching TV, while she sucked on his cock and played with it all day long.� I envied the hell out of him.�

�He was full of it.�

�Sure, but I wanted to believe it.�

�I�ll bet it would just put you to sleep.�

�Can you think of a better way to drop off?�

�How about sitting on your chest while you lick my twat?�

�Think you�d last through a TV show?�

She giggled.� �Grandpops, this is getting interesting.�

�Are you feeling a little moisture?� Would you believe I�m about half hard?�

��A dry run,� did you say?� You�d have to give your housekeeper a week off.�

�No problem.�

�Five grand for a week.�

�Too much!� This includes room and board.�

She sniffed.� �I�d have to cook the meals.� Five grand.�

�I�m thinking of your business volume but guess the poor boys could save up for it.� All right.� Five grand.�

�Ooo!� Do you mean it?�

�How about starting tomorrow morning?�

Pause.

�Grandpops, I can�t believe this.�

�Young and pretty with big tits and you can�t believe it?� Oh, I know what you mean, but do we have a deal?�

�If it works,� she bargained, �will you help with what comes next?�

�If I do, how about letting me test each new girl?�

�Why not?� In fact that�s a good idea.�

�So?�

�So I�ll be there at ten AM tomorrow.�

�Do I have to tell you, my darling girl, that I can�t wait?�

�You old sweetie!� Bye for now.�

End
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