The Hidden Journal,
Copyright � 1999, Kellis
File D9104302.ZEN
Friday, October 18,
1974
�Look at that.�� Harv tapped my arm.� I turned away from the execution monitor in annoyance.� He was looking off to my left where Tommy, David and Laura were recovering a program deck that somebody � probably Tommy, the clumsy one � had dropped.� The cooling fans were noisy;� no one else had heard him.� Then I saw what he wanted me to see.� Laura was kneeling with her butt toward us, picking up the last few cards.� Her skirt had ridden up, exposing the lower half of bare cheeks.� The dark recess of her anus and the red slit of her hairless vagina were clearly visible.� She was wearing no panties.
Harv said speculatively, �Wonder who she shaves it for.�
I remembered that she hadn�t quite answered that question for me either.� �Something must�ve happened.�
He grinned.� �Maybe she pissed herself.�
Harv is married with four kids, one of them a teenage girl.� I said, �Maybe her period started unexpectedly.�
That sobered him.� No man with a family can fail to sympathize with a woman caught unexpectedly in that manner.
I took a listing and walked among the retrievers.� �Laura, come over here and explain this to me,� I ordered.
She extended a hand and I helped her up.� She followed me to a spot apart from the others.� An eyebrow cocked quizzically.
�What happened to your panties?� I asked quietly.
�That damned Jack!� she retorted.� Her eyes widened.� �You saw me just now?�
When I nodded she added, �Who else?�
�Harv.� He wonders why you shave it.�
�Damn!� What�ll I tell him?�
�Nothing.� He thinks your period took you by surprise.� Did Jack steal them?�
�No.� He soaked them at lunch.�
�In his office?�
�Where else?�
�Good god, Laura!� Can�t you say no?�
She only stared at me expressionlessly.
�Why don�t you take the afternoon off?�
She tilted her head toward the bulletin board.� �You wanted us all for Tommy�s code review.�
�If you stick around now, Harv�ll know it�s not your period.�
�So?�
�So it could get embarrassing.�
�For whom?�
I shook my head.� �I excuse you from the review.�
She looked at Harv, back at me.� �All right.� Maybe you�re right.� Thank you.�
Harv was curious.� I told him yes, it was her period.
If Jack and she keep this up, neither will be around much longer.� It�s incredible that Jack will take such risks.� Does he want to get caught?
Sunday, October 20,
1974, about 1100
My phone rang at 0930.� Doris was cooking us breakfast, as she sometimes does on Sunday morning.� It was Laura.
�Are you alone?� she asked.
�No.�
�Girl friend?�
I growled, �It�s not Jack, if that�s what�s worrying you.�
Doris called from the kitchen, �Is that my mom?�
Laura heard her.� �It is your girl friend!�
�No!� I replied to Doris, raising my voice.� �It�s somebody from the lab.�� In a quieter tone I asked Laura, �What do you need?�
�Jack wants to talk to you.�
�That can wait till Monday.�
�Not the way he wants to talk.�
�Where?�
�At his place.� Do you know the Bijou Theater on Walker?�
�Yes.�
�It�s 13B in the apartment building that butts against the Bijou.� It�s nothing to find.�
�I�ll be a couple hours.�
�When?�
�Noonish.�
�I�ll tell him.� Does she French as well as I?�
I took a breath.� �She lacks your experience.�
�Are you sure?�
Doris sucking a thousand dicks?� �Yes, I�m sure.� I�ll be there.�
Though in fact, Doris does do it better, at least with better consistency.� She�s had a good teacher:� me.� When I returned to the kitchen, she grinned at me.� �Who lacks experience?�
�Ah, we were speaking of Laura, a girl in the lab.�
�Are you going to work?�
��Fraid so, but not till I�ve eaten this.� Smells good!�
At the end of the meal she said, �It�s just as well.� I need to study my presentation this afternoon.� If I stayed here you�d keep me in bed.�
�Oh?� Doing what?�
Her eyes twinkled.� �You want me to say it, don�t you?�
�Say it?�
�If I do, you�ll probably pull me down on the rug.�
�And bruise your knees?� Better not say it, then.�
�I won�t.�� But I could tell she was miffed.
She left first.� I gave her a send-off kiss at the door but she hesitated when I released her.
�I learned that long ago,� she announced.
�Learned what?�
�How not to bruise my knees.�
�Well, I never wanted you to bruise your knees.�
�But you do prefer it standing up, don�t you?�
I thought about it and nodded.� �It�s good to have a slave.�
She snorted.� �Who you think won�t bite you!�
She left grinning.
Later, about 2200
As Laura said, it was nothing to find.� 13B is on the ground floor, facing on the gravel parking lot.� I knocked about 1230 and she opened the door.� Incredibly she was completely nude except for a black ribbon around her neck.� She grinned at my expression and said, �Come on in.�
�How�d you know it was me?�
�Saw you out the window.�
Two doors were in the short hall, marked 13A and 13B.� B was open.� She led me through it.
�You do love to take risks �� I began, then I saw the others.� I reached back and closed the door into the hall.� Jack Martin lounged on the one couch, naked except for black socks and a wristwatch, legs splayed around two naked women crouched before him, their backs to me, sitting on their heels.� The bottoms of their feet were dirty.� Bobbing heads, one black, one brown, concealed his midsection.
He grinned at me, looked at his wristwatch.� �You�re late.�
�Sorry.�
�We started without you.� Take your clothes off and grab a corner.�
I shook my head.� �I don�t see a corner.� All I see is curves.� Who are your friends?�
�They are friendly!�
�Who are they, Laura?�
�Just girls.� Who they are doesn�t matter.�
�What does matter, then?�
�What you can do to them.�
I shook my head at her.� �Laura, you amaze me.�
She cocked an eyebrow at me quizzically.� �What�s so amazing?�
I didn�t answer her.� My intellectual analysis of Laura�s nymphomania, if that�s what it is, was giving way to a hard dick.� I�d seldom if ever known women who thought of themselves merely as sex objects.
�Do what to them?� Jack seems to have their attention.�
Jack grunted.� �Just passing the time, Harry.� They already got me.� Turn around, girls, and let Harry see you.�
As they were backing away from him, Laura reached for my belt.� �Come on, Harry, let me warm you up.�
I let her do as she wished, which was to drop my pants.� The two cock suckers stood up and faced me expressionlessly.� They were short and skinny, nearly no breasts, though the brown-haired one had a bit more with sensitive puffy nipples the same color as a dick�s head.� Their pubic hair was thin but unshaven.� Their faces were wet.� The black-haired one had white flecks in her hair and a white streak on her chin.
�You do like to wet faces,� I observed.
Jack shook his head.� �I like wet faces, whether I wet �em or not.� Takes half a dozen cocks to do the job right.�
�Or one Flooder, eh, Laura?�
But she had knelt in front of me.� Instead of answering she sucked up my half-stander.
�Flooder?� Jack wondered.� �What do you mean?�
�That�s what they call a guy who can come in pints.�
�In pints?�
�So I hear.� Aren�t your friends a bit young?�
He looked at me then nodded.� �For some things.�� He laughed.� �I wouldn�t run �em for congress�� Though they�d hardly do worse than what we�ve got.�
Laura released me long enough to add her bit.� �Then you could fuck congress instead of having it fuck you.�
Jack nudged the nether cheek of the brown-haired one.� �Want to run for congress, Bimmy?�
She cleared her throat.� �Whatever you say.�
�Want to suck his cock?�
�If you say so.�
Laura released me again, turning around to look at them.� But Jack was only playing.� His foot nudged the black-haired one.
�How about you?�
�If you want it,� she answered promptly.� Their eyes were on mine but their faces were blank.
Laura looked up at me.� �What did I tell you?�
I looked past them to Jack.� �Laura said you wanted to talk.�
�That can wait.� I want to see you wet their faces, too.�
�Sorry.� I�m no porn star.�
�They�ll make you one.� Girls, go for it.�
They knelt in front of me, taking Laura�s place, and began to kiss both sides of my dick.� They were close enough then for me to see the tiny red marks, like pin pricks, on their elbows and forearms.� Looking past their hips, I could see similar marks on their legs.� Laura, standing nearby, noticed my scrutiny.� Her eyes sparkled.
�Out of the frying pan into the fire?� I asked her softly.
She held out a white, unmarked arm.� �But I�m not burned!�
She circled around behind me.� In a moment I felt something against my knees.� Just behind me she had scooted the overstuffed chair that matched the couch.� I sat down slowly on the edge of it to let the cock suckers follow.� One of them had nearly swallowed my dick, the other latched onto my balls.� I even felt two fingers in my rectum, rubbing forward.� Somebody had told them about the prostate.� Briefly I felt its fluid flowing.� But I was in no hurry.� I liked what these girls were doing but not their reason to do it.
Jack stood right behind them, Laura leaning on his shoulder, her tits on his arm.� He grinned at me.� �How�s that feel?�
I looked up past the bobbing heads.� �Are you their supplier?�
�Not directly.�
�What do you want from me?�
�I�ll tell you later.�
�Tell me now.�
�Funny thing about bimbos.� They have ears and a memory.� Luckily they have other organs.� I�ll tell you this:� if you throw in with me you�ll get all the bimbos you can stand.�
�Bimmy� he�d called her.�� Short for bimbo?� I put my hand under her chin and raised the head with brown hair off my dick.� �Bimmy, are you on the hard stuff?�
�You know she is,� Jack answered for her.� �Look at her arm.�
Her eyes were dilated, even looking at the light from the window behind me.� I had watched closely when she opened them.� The pupils had hardly shrunk.� �What about it, Bimmy?�
Laura�s hand snaked down, took my stiff dick and put the head against the girl�s mouth.� �She needs to be on this hard stuff!�
The lips parted and half of it disappeared.� She had acne on her cheeks, a prominent spot of it to the right of her mouth.� To my surprise that sight and its implication sent the first thrill through my belly.
But Laura was talking to me.� �Lean back,� she ordered.� When I had done so, she put one leg over chair and occupants and knelt on its padded arms, leaning forward until her pubes were in my face.� From the corners of my eyes I could see that she had put her hands on her hips.� �You need some more stimulation,� she suggested.
She was wet but I tasted no semen inside her labia.� As I reached up and cupped her breasts, I heard her say over her shoulder, �Now work him fast.�
Whether needed or not, she was right that it was stimulating.� In no time at all my juice spurted.� At the first jet I felt the mouth leave, but a hand took its place, careful to stay behind the head.� I raced my tongue as fast as I could.� Laura shuddered, pulled my hands off her by the wrists and sprang off the chair.
The black-haired girl was wiping my last dribbles onto her nose.� When she saw my eyes on her, she moved dick to mouth instead, closing on it gently.� Fresh seminal fluid decorated both their faces, a large glob in Bimmy�s eyelash.� She blinked and I could see it form a haze over her enlarged pupil.� Apparently it didn�t hurt.� Or maybe she was past feeling small annoyances.
Jack had knelt beside them, probably the better to see my finale.� He winked at me and said, �Show us what�s in your mouth, Bimmy.�
She opened wide.� I saw several cavities in her teeth and a white swath on her tongue.� A line of it drooled from the outthrust tip.
�Good show,� he remarked.� �Now you can swallow.�
She closed her mouth and her larynx bobbed.� He looked around at me again.� �See, anything you want.� You only need the imagination to think of it.� Bimmy, come over here.�
He resumed his position on the couch, Bimmy hers between his legs.� The black-haired girl remained on her haunches between mine, my dick in her mouth.� She was looking up at me but she didn�t move except to breathe.� Her skin was pale, almost sallow.� Her hair had parted and I could see more acne on her forehead.� Her eyes were very large, the pupils so dilated I couldn�t see the color of the iris.
Suddenly my gorge rose.� I sat up in the chair, took her by the shoulders and pushed her back, gently but firmly.� She didn�t resist and her face didn�t change except for closing her mouth.� She fell back on hands extended behind her.� I got out of the chair and began to put my clothes on.
�Why don�t you keep your seat?� Laura wondered.
�I�ve had enough.�
Jack looked up, eyebrows rising.� �That�s what you think!� That kid�ll get you going again in no time.�
�Kid is too right!� I retorted.� Buttoning my shirt, I looked down at black-haired girl, still leaning back on her hands, staring straight ahead, a line of fluid connecting chin and chest.� My seminal fluid.
I said, �How old is she?�
Jack shrugged.� �Ask her!�
Her gaze swung up to me.� She said flatly, �Fourteen.�
My chin sagged.� I looked from her to Jack.� He chuckled.� �The younger they are the better they suck.�
�Do they!� How old is yours?�
�Sixteen.� They�re sisters, you know.�
I pulled up my pants.� �You really are a son of a bitch, aren�t you?�
He nodded.� �As much as I need to be.�
�And you,� I said to Laura, �the defenseless orphan!�
Her eyes glittered.� �They�re runaways, Harry.� Actually, if Jack didn�t take care of them they�d probably be lying in a ditch somewhere.�
�Look at their eyes.� They might as well be.�� I zipped up my fly.� I was glad I�d never taken my shoes off.
Jack had not moved from the couch and Bimmy�s mouth.� He argued, �They�re good little suckers.� You ought to know.� They�ve both swallowed your come.�
�I didn�t know ��
�Don�t hand me that!� You knew it.� If you didn�t, you�re too dumb to be a chief programmer.�
�So fire me,� I retorted, opening the door into the hall.
Laura grasped my arm.� �Wait a minute, Harry.� Let�s talk it over.�
But Jack sneered, �Let him go.�� Turning the front doorknob, I heard him add, �He�ll be back.�
As soon as I got home I jumped into the shower and scrubbed my genitals until the soapy friction made my dick rise again.� I even took the plumber�s friend, soaped it thoroughly and ran it up my ass, end pointed forward, which finally made me wonder what I was doing.� It was acne on their faces, teenager�s acne, that�s all.� I had no reason to believe them infected with a venereal disease, no more than Laura, at any rate, and they hadn�t lived long enough to suck a tenth of Laura�s count.
Was I trying to wash off the fact that I had committed statutory rape?� Jack implied I guessed their ages before they touched me.� He was right about that.� In fact, as I well recall, the thought of their immaturity made my dick harder.� As it had done in Iran.� And earlier.
One night I arrived at a Saigon whorehouse late.� The madam told me she was sorry but the only girl available was just thirteen.� I could have her for half the going rate.� I� agreed, though the woman�s concealed grin told me she was conning me somehow.� Yet in fact I spent a most enjoyable evening.� The girl was very small, light and supple as an eel.� Even without English or French she made me understand her gratitude for being treated as an adult.� Her enthusiasm got the juice from me three times.� I had a youthful fascination for mature flesh and thus never returned to this girl, which I have since regretted.
My digested seminal fluid is in two underage guts tonight � actually only one underage;� sixteen is the age of consent in this state.� Though if it�s the law that concerns me, oral sex with anyone is a so-called �crime against nature� and worth forty years in a cage.� But it�s not the law that makes me grit my teeth.� And it�s not the immaturity.� I doubt the Vietnamese girl was even twelve.� And Estri was only eleven when she first mouthed me.
It�s those dead, dilated eyes.� I can�t believe Jack�s sisterly cocksuckers even knew where they were � or cared.� So why should it matter to me?
I don�t know, but it does.
Thursday, October 24,
1974
I�ve seen Laura every day and Jack twice so far.� Neither has said a word. �Laura is cool and distant.
After work yesterday I stopped for a Big Mac and went on to the Adult Products bookstore on Ashton.� It was out of business.� Since Doris came into my life I have ceased to patronize it.� But I remembered another off Livery Street and took the new expressway.� This one has the remarkably suggestive name, Big Mams, and is smaller than Adult Products but seems to have as good a stock of Super 8s, plotless paperbacks and sex toys.� I looked over the latter and selected three dildoes, one about my size, one half again larger, the other about three times as big.
�This�ll do him,� said the clerk, passing me the largest.
�Her,� I corrected to his smirk.
They had rubber cunts with cotton inserts to catch the mess, about the size of two fists.� Perhaps a teenager with a good imagination could use them.
Doris came in about 20:00, having also stopped at MacDonalds.� I got in the shower with her.� Thinking about my surprise made it hard before I touched her.� She took it in a soapy hand and asked it archly, �Got something in mind, big boy?�
�You say the nicest things,� I replied.
In the bedroom I said, �You remember a couple months ago when we tried a little sodomy?�
�Sodom � oh.�
�Well, do you?�
�Yes.� But it didn�t do very much.�
For her.� She had resented me finishing in her ass!
�I�m sorry, my dear.� And I want to make it up to you.�
She was sitting naked on the side of the bed.� She cocked an eyebrow at me.� �How?�
I opened the drawer in the bedside table.� �With one of these.� Or any combination.�
�What?�� She looked at them.� The shape is unmistakable.� Her eyes widened.� �You didn�t!�� Her voice was breathy, almost a squeak.� Her nipples crinkled.� It amazes me how fast they can do that.
I explained, �You wanted something better than fingers in front.�
She took them out and stroked them, a tiny smile on her lips.
�I�ll get the Vaseline,� I offered.
�I won�t need it.�
�For your anus.�
�In a minute.�� To my surprise she put the largest one in her cunt straight-away, working it side to side before sliding it home.
She noticed my expression and grinned.� �After all, I�m not a virgin, Harry.�� Then, �Don�t stare so!� You embarrass me.�
�Believe me,� I said with feeling, �it�s a stare of the most profound admiration.�
�It feels good to stretch it,� she admitted, stretching it much farther than I had ever achieved.� �Turn out the light and come to bed.�
About an hour later, squatting atop me, she did try the other two in her rectum while I plugged her cunny.� The effect was unusual.� Normally her orgasms fetch mine.� But the rectum � hers, at any rate � makes a sharp turn above the anus.� My dick was a bit sore from all the previous bending, which allowed me the luxury of experiencing her vaginal clipping while maintaining a relatively calm attitude myself.� She has a remarkable grip in both holes, but I believe the vaginal sphincters are the stronger.
Finally she abandoned dignity and put the big one up her ass.� Her frenzy became too much for me and I had to let fly.� Again.
When her breathing had calmed, she snuggled on my arm in the dark.� She took my hand and commanded, �Feel.�� She guided me around the curve of her wet mound, took my forefinger and thrust it side-to-side in a moist cavity large as a goose egg.
�See what you�ve done to me?�
�No, I don�t see.� I�m going to cut on the light.�
�Oh, don�t!�
But the switch is on the headboard just over my head.� It controls both bedside lamps.� She blinked and coyly put both hands over her pubes.� I crawled down and made her raise her legs, holding them back with hands under the knees.� Her genitalia was crimson and gleamed with moisture.� Her anus was an angry red rictus, large enough to take my dick at its widest diameter.
�Get the hand mirror,� she instructed.� I returned it from the dresser and held it as she directed.� She inspected herself with fascination.
�Good god!� Do you suppose I�ll be incontinent?�
�No.� It�s shrinking.� I�d say back to normal in five minutes.�
Her eyes were hot on mine.� �Not if you put something in it.�
�Such as?�
�You.�
I chuckled wryly.� �Unfortunately I�m not in condition.�
�Hand me the little one.�
I assumed she meant the dildo and gave her the smallest.� She jammed it into her rectum without hesitation, then sat up, threw her arms around my hips and sucked my entire dick into her mouth.� Soreness and all, up it came.
�Now you can do it,� she observed, lying down again and rolling on her belly.
Perversion pales quickly.� I took little pleasure this third time in her ass.� But I filled the bill otherwise.� She worked the big dildo in her cunt, moaning and screaming until she was exhausted.
In the morning she said very little, seemed to have trouble meeting my eye.� I was beginning to worry about our future until she kissed me good-bye at the door.� She rarely gives me her tongue, but she tickled my palate with it this morning, smearing me with her lipstick.� She whispered, �Thank you, Harry, thank you,� smiled, sighed and ran down the steps.� Tonight she called and told me she�s so sore she can hardly walk.� I�m sore, too, of course.� We commiserated in high good humor.� She�ll see me Saturday morning.
It goes without saying how pleased I am by this further evidence of her kinky passions.� She�s always been easier aroused to a more feverish pitch than other women.� When not aroused she is chaste of speech and action:� a companion for all seasons.� And when she�s up there, the duration of it as well as its obvious intensity guarantee she�s not faking.� That cannot be said of Laura.
Friday, October 25,
1974
Returned to the lab about three this afternoon.� Laura was standing behind Harv, looking over his shoulder at a listing spread on the table in front of them.� She regarded me over her own shoulder.� �Come look at this.�
I stood just behind them.� Harv grinned up at me, his finger on a line of code.
�What is it?� I asked.
Laura explained, �He found out why the fix we installed yesterday didn�t work.�
�It didn�t work?� It should�ve done the job.�
Harv nodded.� �It probably will when I move this branch.�
Someone had added the additional code behind instead of before the unconditional branch that previously ended it.� Of course the new code would never execute.� I saw that immediately � and I also realized that the end-of-day condition had not been considered.
�I see.� But look here.�� I leaned over him to point to a test instruction.� In doing so I bumped into Laura�s butt.� �You forgot to cover the ��
My voice became a grunt when quick as a snake, Laura�s hand went under my belt, under the overlap of my shirt, into my shorts and squeezed my entire manhood � not hard but shocking nonetheless.� I looked around.� We three were alone in the lab but anyone coming through the door would see her arm.
�Forgot what?� Harv asked, looking up at me.� Laura�s fingers were working my foreskin rapidly.� If he�d looked down instead of up he must have seen the disturbance in my britches.
�Ah, uh,� I stammered, �add another test right here, for end-of-day.�
�What�s the matter?� he wondered, still looking up.
�Right here!�� I tapped the listing, causing him to turn his head forward at last.� As he turned, so did Laura.� Her eyes sparkled at mine but her face was carefully expressionless.� I was free to remove her arm at last but �� This girl is talented.� My dick was rising into her hand.
But I knew that Tommy was on his way.� With the greatest reluctance I grasped her arm and pulled her hand out of my britches.� She grinned, fluttered her tongue at me and said archly, �Is that what you want?�
I pretended to misunderstand her.� �Have to have it.� Otherwise the end-of-day condition will program check when it returns to the main loop.�
��Have to have it,�� she repeated, grinning wryly.
�He�s right,� Harv agreed.� �I�ll fix it.�
�Who fixed it originally?� I asked.
�She did.�� He looked up again to see what I, the chief programmer, would do to her.
She licked her lip and grinned at me.� �Seems I didn�t finish the job.� Sometimes people won�t let me.�
�You need to check your work closer,� I suggested.� My dick was sticking straight as the consequence of her fingerwork.� I couldn�t bring myself to deliver the sneer her carelessness deserved.� Fortunately Harv never noticed how my britches were stretched.
�I can tell when it�s not appreciated,� she sniffed, turning away to her own table.�
At that moment Tommy came through the door, spied me and cried, �Just the man I want to see.�� We worked on a problem of his for the rest of the afternoon.
Laura slipped out of the lab before me at quitting time.� I copied her phone number from the bulletin board and gave her a call this evening but got no answer.
What�s so fascinating about her sucking mouth?� Doris�s is better and she�ll bring hers to me tomorrow.� If I can�t stand to wait my fingers would make a tighter O than Laura�s lips.
That thought is poor consolation.
Sunday, October 27,
1974
Doris has settled on a favorite use of her toys.� She wants the middle-sized one, which about matches the largest turd she ever passed, put up her ass while I poke her cunny.� At first she wanted me to reach around her cheeks and work the thing in and out but it seems I didn�t �time it right.�� She does it herself � and either passes out or comes so close as to make no difference.� She said it sends her to heaven.� I told her I was thankful it lets her come back!
Increasingly I see Doris as a wife and the mother of my children.� We certainly are compatible in the sexual arena.� She loves my tongue on her.� And, god, do I love hers!� I adore her to kneel and suck me noisily to orgasm in the light where I can see every nuance of her expression and know when her tongue grows tired or the ejaculate surprises her.� When she swallows every drop � especially when she works her mouth afterwords in unconscious distaste � that is somehow the ultimate acceptance.
Laura has done as much in this very apartment, but it�s not the same.� That may be due to the smile of contentment she exhibits when it�s over.� A completed job may be the only reason for her pleasure.
Though she does feel something when I lick her clit.� Doesn�t she?