Deferred Pleasure
a Novelette by Kellis
June, 2000
Chapter 4:�
A New Home
When she gave him the key, he opened the front door into a second floor walkup:� living room/den, kitchen, bedroom and bath.� It was furnished including television, dish washer and even kitchen utensils.� A balcony on the back overlooked the community swimming pool, empty now at dinner time.
Looking at the silverware in a sink drawer, he inquired with raised eyebrows, �No monkey wrench?�
�This sink doesn�t leak.�� She turned away from him.� �I need a shower.� Then I�ll cook supper.�
�I�ll join you,� he suggested.
The bathroom could be entered from bedroom or kitchen.� She turned into the bedroom, again unzipping her skirt, opened a closet and began hanging her clothing.� Several other garments were already present.
He reached past her and fingered a sheer robe.� It was green.� �I thought you said this apartment was newly rented.�
�I didn�t say that, though it is.� I signed the lease Monday, �for Gerald Ballard.�� Your copy is in the top drawer of that chest of drawers.�
�Then what�s this?�
�I moved a few things in here yesterday.� For me.� I couldn�t guess your size.� We can go tonight or tomorrow and buy you some clothes.�
�For you,� he noted thoughtfully.
She said without looking at him, �I figured your revenge might take awhile.�� She went to the dresser and took out a shower cap.� When her hair was tucked into it, she turned to him.� �Thought you meant to join me.�
Though he stripped quickly, she already had the temperature regulated to suit herself.� Chest to chest, they reached around each other and washed the other�s back.� When she felt his erection on her belly, she soaped his genitals and took him in hand.
He groused, �Too bad women don�t have tits on their backs, too.�
She laughed.� �Especially for dancing, huh?� Is this how you bathed in prison?�
�No, but lots do.�
�Really?� Don�t the guards stop it?�
�I got the impression the guards don�t give a shit.�
�So the prisoners pair off in the showers?�
�I saw a lot of it.� Prison is queer heaven.�� He grunted.� �I�ve seen over a dozen guys lined up in a circle, each one�s dick stuck in the asshole in front of him.�
�Really?� My god!�
He cocked a wet eyebrow.� �Are you interested in queer men, Holly?�
She looked away, admitting softly, �For some things.�
He laughed incredulously.� �Like what?� They don�t use women!�
She said, �Maybe it just seems that way when no women are around.�
His soapy hand slipped far down her back.� �Or maybe you like things here.�
Her arms above his shoulders pulled them tighter together.� Her face rested in the hollow of his neck.� His hand, reaching around her hip, applied a wet fingertip to her anus.� She shivered when the first digit penetrated.� �Thought you were hungry,� she murmured.
�Queers are better at this?� he asked.
�What they are better at is � doing a woman together.�
He released her and drew back slowly.
�Does that idea interest you, Gerry?�
�I � don�t think so.�
�No?� Then how about two women doing the same man?�� Her eyes searched his face.� What she saw produced a smile.
He took a breath.� �I�ll admit I�ve dreamed about that once or twice.�
�Good.�� She gave his penis a shake.� �I�m getting hungry now.� Come on.� Let me talk to you while I fix supper.�
She found a robe for him to wear and took out the sheer green one for herself.� She threw it on the bed, however, and posed briefly before the full length mirror on the back of the bedroom door.� She turned to face him.� �Gerry, do you think I�m an attractive woman?�
�Oh, yes!�
�I�m not too fat?�
�You�re not fat.� You�re the way a woman is supposed to look.� I read an article about it somewhere.� Motherhood statistics show that big tittied women with plump hips but narrow waists, like yours, have twice the kids of skinny ones.� Are you attractive?� I can�t speak for the guy in the next bunk, but you sure are to me.�
�It�s risky, fishing for compliments, but sometimes it pays off.� Thank you, Gerry.�� She smiled sunnily and took up the green robe.� �I�m glad you feel that way.�
Her nipples were dark shadows beneath the green nylon.� He felt of the lapel.� �This isn�t the same one, is it?�
�No, but I still have it.� The cops kept it for a long time.�
�The cops?� They didn�t suspect you, did they?�
�I don�t think so.� It had your come on it.�
His refrigerator was well stocked indeed, and she was a fast, accomplished cook.� She had him dicing lettuce and tomato for their salad while she pressed hamburger into very thin patties and cooked them with onion rings in butter, sprinkling them with a �secret mixture of spices� and layering cheese atop them at the last.� He found salad dressing, relish, mayonnaise and ketchup on the shelves and set the table for two.� The bottom of the refrigerator was full of beer.� He opened one, commenting dubiously, �Guess I better take it easy on this.�� But it was delicious.
So were her cheeseburgers.� �Well?� she asked pointedly as he swallowed his first bite.
�Better than a deluxe,� he agreed solemnly.
�I told you,� she remarked smugly.
Clean up was quick.� When the dishwasher was loaded and started, he stood behind her, lifting and squeezing her breasts.� �I thought we were going to talk,� he suggested.
Her hand worked into his robe and enclosed his genitals.� She turned her mouth against his chin.� �You said I was attractive.�
�Is that what you want to talk about?� These are attractive.� You are beautiful!�
�And I showed you I�m willing.�
�Yeah.� And I�m hoping you�ll tell me what makes you so willing.�
�Gerry, you�re a pretty man, too, you know.� Prison didn�t hurt your looks, except for being a little pale.� Your shoulders have filled out very nicely.�
�You think so?�
�That shirt you had on.� It was the same one you wore � before, and it�s too small for you.�
�I�m surprised the pants still fit.�
�You�re age is 26, right?�
�Right.� How old are you, Holly?�
�In six months I�ll be 30.�
He sighed.� �I used to swear I�d be rich when I was 30.�
�Maybe you will yet.� Could you stand a woman who�s three years older than you?�
�Stand her?� With titties like these?�
She did not protest as he, still behind her, tucked the front of her robe open around her dangling breasts and squeezed one in each hand.� She continued, �Could you stand her for more than just playing with boobs?�
�Oh, there�s more?�
�Lots more.� You say I�m attractive and you agree I�m willing.� And that�s true, Gerry.� When I�m done, you�ll know you can�t find a more willing one!�
He grinned.� �And you can cook great cheeseburgers.�
�I love to cook.� What do you want in a woman, Gerry?�
�All those things.� Loyalty would be nice, too.�
She spun around to face him within the circle of his arms.� Her eyes were bright.� ��Loyalty,�� she repeated.� �That�s what this is about.�
�What do you mean?�
�That�s what you believe I don�t have.� I�ll admit you have good reason.� I�ve killed one man and ruined another.� But I�m trying to convince you I can still be a loyal woman.�
He shook his head.� �You can�t prove that by fucking.�
�How about if I � have sex anyway you say, with anyone you say, so long as it�s in front of you?�
He stared at her.� �Why would you want to do that?�
She shrugged.� �I�m assuming you might want it.� When you insisted on having anal sex, it told me something.� You�ve been in prison for six years.� It couldn�t help but change you.� You are less concerned now with what people might think about you.� In a word, you are less inhibited.� You�ve learned just how precarious life can be.� It�s made you impatient.� You mean to get what you can while the getting is good.
�Gerry, I�m telling you I can conform to that.� I�ll help you get whatever it is you want � with only one restriction.� You can�t risk going back to prison.�
�Ha!� That�s exactly what I�m doing here with you right now!�
She grunted.� �Surely you don�t think I would complain!�
�Wouldn�t you?� How about the first time I do something you don�t approve of?� Suppose I bring another woman in here?�
She shook her head.� �You won�t need to do that.�
�Why not?�
�Because I�ll get you one myself.�
�And you think that will prove your loyalty?�
�Won�t it?�
He stared at her, took a deep breath, turned away and lifted a beer from the refrigerator.� She accepted one, too, and extracted two pilsener glasses from the freezer compartment.� They sat at the kitchen table and she poured both bottles.
�Holly, I think it�s finally time you told me what this is all about.�
She looked into the rising bubbles.� �I want you, Gerry.�
�Yeah,� he agreed, �that�s obvious even to me.� The question is, for what reason and what use?�
She took a very deep breath and looked apprehensively up into his eyes.� �I want to marry you.�
�You what?�� His mouth fell open.
She blushed and looked away from his stare.� After a moment she asked stiffly, �Is it such a ridiculous idea?�
�No, no.�� He shook his head.� �Just let me get used to it, will you?� You never remarried?�
�No, I didn�t.�
�What�ve you been doing, Holly?�
�I told you:� secretarial work.� I�m an executive secretary at Bristol Industrials.� Right now I�m taking vacation.�
�I mean, with men?�
�Oh, I�ve had boyfriends.� Men friends, I should say.� Nothing serious.�
�What do you call �serious?��
�Engagement.� Marriage.�
�No fucking?�
Her eyes narrowed defiantly, then softened in submission.� �A lot, by some standards.�
�But no entanglements?�
She shrugged.� �None that matter.� I�ve always been careful with the pills.� And Bristol pays for regular checkups on everything.�
�This guy I�m going to work for:� one of your lovers?�
�Not him.� The man who knows him.� But it�s not as if I�m his mistress.�
�No?�
�We do each other favors.� He�s bi-sexual.�
He took a long pull from his glass.� �Sounds like you�re pretty busy.�
�As busy as I want to be.� I should say, wanted to be.� I�ve pretty much disengaged from all that.� What happens next depends on you.�
�And you want to marry me?�
�Yes, Gerry.� I do.�� She looked intently into his eyes.� He saw that hers were wet.
He drew an uneasy breath.� �Again I have to ask why!� Look at me:� an ex-convict on parole, a convicted felon with no future.� I�m relatively young, I guess, and it seems I can make your clit tingle, but marriage?�� He laughed harshly.� �I guess I should jump on it, if you�re such a fool as to want me, but, Holly �� I still have to know why.�
�Wait here.�
She got up and disappeared into the bedroom.� He heard a drawer slide open.� She returned with a framed photograph, five by seven, in her hand.� She stood it on the table in front of him and again left the room.
It was the full-figured portrait of a very young girl, standing alone in a child�s bikini on the side of a swimming pool.� She was well fleshed with smoothly rounded arms and legs but no secondary sexual characteristic except the line between her labia, a vertical shadow in the bikini bottom.� Her below-the-shoulder hair was light brown, the same shade as Holly�s, and her face had Holly�s square jaw.� But otherwise �� The eyes were a striking blue, even in the unenlarged photograph.� Her features were unknown to Gerry but strangely familiar.� She was lovely.
Holly had returned.� He looked up.� �Your daughter?�
She produced a free-standing mirror he had earlier noticed in the bathroom, aligning it to show his own face.
�You mean ��� His voice trailed off.� He shook his head.� �You don�t mean she�s mine, too!�
�But I do.� Just look at her face beside yours!� More than that, Gerry, your DNA identification is on record.� She is your daughter, more yours than mine:� a 76 per-cent allele correspondence.�
��Allele?��
�The DNA analog to match-points in fingerprinting.�
�What�s her name?�
�Emily Jerry Naysmith.� I gave her my maiden name.� I hope to change it to Ballard.�
�Where is she now?�
�Visiting my sister in Connecticut.� She�s a smart girl, Gerry, smarter than I was at five.� She can fly alone.�
�She�s beautiful!�
The woman smiled.� �Oh, yes!�
�Jerry?�
�I knew she was yours as soon as I saw her face.� I suspected it before.� I had quit the pills, hoping a baby might straighten my husband out.� The � sex with you was about the strongest I ever had.��� My friends tell me that�s when you�re most likely to conceive.�
�You want an ex-con for your girl�s daddy?�
�I want my girl�s daddy to be her father.� Our girl�s.�
He picked up the photograph to study at close range.� �This makes a difference, Holly.�
�I hoped it would.�
�You did know I was raised in an orphanage, didn�t you?� I have no idea of my own ancestry.�
�I knew.� I don�t see that it matters.� Your ancestry is hers, whether known or not.�
�She�ll have no grandparents on my side.�
�Neither did you.�
�Yeah, and look how I turned out!�
�You do have bad luck, don�t you?� As I told you, Gerry, I�m hoping to make that up to you, as much as I can.�
He held the photograph close.� �Poor kid, she�s got my nose.�
�You have a nice, slender nose.�
�A bit too long.� But on her it looks ��
�Insouciant.�
He laughed warmly.� �That sounds good, whatever it means.�
�I think we made a very pretty child, Gerry.�
�Well, I sure won�t disagree!� A sister in Connecticut?� Are your parents living?�
�No.� Only the older sister.� Our parents died in a plane crash returning home from my wedding.�
�Good god, Holly!�
�People whispered it was a bad omen for my marriage.� They were right.�
�Coincidence.�
�You�re not a mystic, Gerry?�
�If you�re asking whether I believe claims that can�t be verified, the answer is no.�
Her eyes rounded in concern.� �I hope you�ll make one exception.�
�What�s that?�
�At least provisionally.� I hope you�ll believe I can be loyal to you.�
He looked at her sharply.� �I think in a way you have been for most of five years.�
�Gerry!� she breathed.� �Do you mean that?�
�In a way.� How many men did you fuck while I was gone?�
�I ��� Her face paled.� �I don�t know.�
�More than ten?�
�Ye-es.�
�More than 20?�
�Maybe.� I went to a lot of parties in five years.�
�Fucking parties?� Orgies?�
�Single women don�t get invited to much else.�
�God!� I�ll bet you had a ball.�
�I got tired of it.�
�Did you?� How did it work?� You fucked anybody that came at you?�
�Pretty much, after a few drinks.� Are you really interested in this, Gerry?�
�What do you think?� I was lying up in my bunk whacking off and dreaming about such a life.� A party every night?�
�Oh, no!� Two or three times a month.� But I dated men, too.� The first couple of years.� Then it sort of shook down to a few regulars.� I haven�t been to a really uninhibited party in a long time.�
�More than 20 men, but you couldn�t find one that suited you?�
�I didn�t say that.� And truthfully, there were a lot more than 20 men.� Some of them were very exciting.� But none of them was the DNA-certified father of my child.�
�That�s what I mean.� You�ve been very loyal in your own way.� It brings to mind that girl in Kiss Me, Kate, the long-legged dancer who sang that she was �True to you in my fashion.��
�You like musicals?�
�I�ve had occasion to learn something about old movies.� So you waited for me for five years, got me a job and a place to stay, just so you could marry your kid�s natural father � all right, our kid.� Does blood really mean so much to you, Holly?�
The woman took a deep breath.� She stood up and threw off her robe.� At eye level her nipples riveted his attention.� �You can analyze the sense out of any relationship, Gerry.� Fundamentally between a man and a woman it comes down to this.�� She spread her hands and bowed her head.
He stood also, took her under the arms and set her on the edge of the table, then knelt between her legs.� �You sure know how to change the subject.�� He rubbed her belly.� �You had � Jerry naturally?�
�Not by cesarean, if that�s what you mean.�
�Practically no stretch marks, either.�
�Thanks.� I must have used gallons of Skinslip.�
�I can guess what that is.� I�m glad you did.�
�What are you doing?�
�Prying you open.� Does it hurt?�
�N-no.� Not really.�
�Incredible that a baby�s head has been through here.�
�Why is it I get the impression you never looked up a woman before?�
�Sexually speaking, Holly, I�m still 20 years old.�
�Almost a cherry, are you?�
�Thanks to you.�
�Well, I�ll resume fixing that as soon as you finish there.�
��������������������������������������������������������� *� *� *� *
Later they lay on their sides in the double bed, her buttocks against him, his still partly erect penis pressing her vulva from behind.� Her head rested on his outflung arm.� His free hand cupped a breast.
He said, �I just realized.� I can�t marry you.� I�d have to tell my P. O.�
�So?�
�I�m under orders not to let you so much as lay eyes on me.�
She giggled.� �They wouldn�t believe I kept my eyes closed?�
�And something else.� What if they get the idea we colluded somehow to kill your husband?�
�We never saw each other before you rang my doorbell.� Let them prove otherwise.�
�That reminds me.� Holly, I�d like to ask you a question.�
�Go ahead.� I have no secrets from you, Gerry.�
�Don�t you?� All right.� I was originally charged with second degree murder and rape.� They dropped the rape and lowered the murder to Manslaughter One.� My lawyer said it was because you refused to testify.� You claimed not to remember anything.� Was that true?�
�Yes.�
He grunted.� �I�m always asking you, �Why?��
�A week after � it happened � I missed a period.� My husband had been turning hateful.� He and I had screwed hardly at all, about once, since the last period.� I suspected my baby was yours.�� She raised up and turned around, propping herself on an elbow.� Her eyes sparkled in the dim glow leaking through the blinds from the distant streetlight.� �And it finally penetrated what I had done to you, the man who fixed the sink I�d been nagging my husband about for six months.� My conscience bothered me a lot, just not enough for the truth.� At the pretrial conference I told the prosecutor I couldn�t remember anything that happened that day.� He said all right, he would read my grand jury testimony into the record.� I guess he changed his mind.� But let me ask you a question.�
�Shoot.�
�Why in the world did you confess to killing Bill?� You never even saw him!�
�My fingerprints all over the wrench � and the blood on it that wasn�t there the last time I saw it!�
�That made you confess?�
�I confessed to get six years instead of 25.�
�Oh, Gerry!�� Her face contorted.� �I did too good a job, didn�t I!�� She fell against him and began to kiss down his chest.� She moaned nasally, pausing long enough to wail, �Oh, I do wish I could live that day over!� I�m so sorry, Gerry!�
She stroked his chest and side.� Abruptly she swung lower and engulfed his entire penis.� Her hands massaged his testicles while her tongue re-erected him.� She raised her head, cheeks glittering with tears, and cried, �Except for one thing.� Our Emily.� If I hadn�t framed you, Emily wouldn�t exist.� Can you forgive me for her sake?�
Her head went down again without waiting for his answer.� He let her proceed while he reached over and stroked the tight muscles in her back.
After a while he said, �Holly, you�ve already got my juice twice tonight.� Do you think sucking dick is some kind of penance?�
She raised up.� He could see only her bright eyes.� �I mean to make it up to you, Gerry, any way I can.�
He smiled.� �Well, I can�t fault your start on that.�
She whispered, �Thank you, Gerry.�
�But don�t kill yourself.� Come up here and kiss me and lay your head on my shoulder.�
She obeyed and lay licking the corner of his mouth after their lips finally parted.� She took a breath and said, �By many people�s standards, I guess I�m a depraved woman, Gerry.� I enjoy most kinds of sex and don�t mind the rest.� As long as it�s not done just to hurt, I�m your girl.� Do you want to do things to me?� Are you curious about a woman�s body?� I�m the girl for that, too.�
He thought about it.� �All because I was lucky enough to father a child on you?�
�Isn�t that good enough for a start?� And Gerry, don�t worry about your parole officer.� I know how to handle him.�
�How?�
�I�ll write him a letter, saying that I want to invite you to dinner, that I�ve learned you�re the father of my daughter.�
�You�ll do that?�
�Yes.� Next month.� Give it a little time�� Gerry, will you � try to love me just a little?�
�Just a little, eh?�
�Please?�
He chuckled and pulled her tighter against his chest.� �Didn�t I already tell you?� I�m a sucker for Holly Moore.�
�How about Holly Ballard?�
�Either way.� God, you feel good!� Put your leg over me, will you?�
�You�re still hard.�
�I don�t mind if you play with it.� But this time don�t take it as a challenge, huh?�
He heard a smile in her voice.� �Do you admit to being sleepy?�
�Hell of a thing � on my first night of freedom, too! �� Holly, thank you.� I could never even imagine such sweetness as this.� Somehow I think there�s more to it than you�ve told me yet, but I don�t care.� If you�ve got another frame for me, slip it on.� Let�s see how I look.�
�You worry too much.� Go to sleep, lover.�� But her voice conveyed her pleasure, and a hand cupped his testicles as he dozed off.