The Chocolate Cock
a Story by Kellis
Copyright � 2003, Kellis
Pausing in the foyer, Paul checked his mailbox.� Today to his surprise it contained a long, stiff cardboard box of unusual dimensions, about 3x3x10 inches, jammed among the catalogs, addressed to him using a computer-printed paste-on.� He turned it back and forth: no return address.� Prominently on one side was the legend, STORE IN A COOL PLACE.� No problem there: February is cool even in Texas.� Hefting it in hand, he guessed its weight at nearly a pound.� What in the world?
On the elevator going up he studied it, thinking of anthrax, smallpox, explosives.� A stick of dynamite would just about fit.� Then he began to chuckle, ending in a bray of laughter as the doors opened on his floor.� Who would care to blow him up?� Hadn�t his mother-in-law said just last year that he wasn�t worth the necessary gunpowder?� That relationship, his most aggravating since childhood, had eased since the divorce.� Literally he could think of no enemy.
Curiosity begets courage.� He found a sharp steak knife still resting in the now-unused kitchen drawer and opened the package carefully, grinning like an idiot, half expecting his world to vanish in a red flash.� Inside was bubble wrap rolled around a long, chocolate-brown object.� Laughing incredulously, he wondered if one of the people at work had sent him a turd for his birthday, now only a few days off.
Popping the tape, he unwrapped the thing gingerly, keeping fingertips away from it.� His nose told him the truth first.� Pre-turd!� Lying atop the open bubble wrap was an irregular but curiously familiar cylinder of pure milk chocolate, one end swelling to form a base, the other crowned with a slitted blunt helmet.
Now his incredulous laugh took a different tone.� This thing was an accurate replica casting, in solid milk chocolate, of an erect human penis.
�Good god!� he cried in awe.� Only in porn movies had he ever seen a larger.
It contained no inscription.� Examining the packing material, he found nothing to indicate the source.� Who might have sent him this thing?� Surely not Vera!
It had to be Vera!
He thought of her as a consolation prize for losing the wife who had learned independence during his years at school.� Vera was loyal and willing but he had never suspected her of such lusty depths as this.� Depths?� His own average cock was enough to reach her cervix; how much depth could she want?� Ah ha!� He snapped his fingers.� She loved to be licked.
That was the answer.� She wanted him to let this chocolate cock melt in her, then eat it back out.� Giving his imagination full rein, he grinned in anticipation.� What a combination!� He loved tongue on chocolate almost as much as she loved it on clit.� Okay.� He would do her up brown!
* * *
�Let me see the one on the right.�
The porn store clerk brought out the package to the top of the glass counter.
�You mind if I open it?� asked Paul.
The beefy young man sneered.� �If you open it, you buy it.�
The directions on the back, especially the diagrams, told Paul what he needed to know.� Grinning at the clerk, he ripped the end off the flimsy box and pulled out the dangling article.
�Damn it!� snarled the clerk, actually balling a fist, �I said if ��
�Relax.� I�ve decided to buy it, even if $44 is exorbitant for a couple of elastic belts.�
�Oh.�� The man took a deep breath.� �Okay.� How about this set of dildoes for it?� They�re designed to fit on it here where ��
�No thanks.� I only need the belt.�
The man looked puzzled.� �You sure your dicks will fit?� This is a new design.�
Paul smiled confidently.� �That�s why they make electric drills.�
* * *
�I�m surprised at you, Paul.� Turning out the lights with me naked!� Don�t you want to see what you�re poking tonight?�
�Maybe I want to surprise you, Vera.�
�Ha!� A man really gets only once chance to surprise a woman this way.� I get it!� You want to fantasize, right?� Who is she, Paul?�
�It�s not for me.� I�ve got a super Valentine treat for you, honey.�
Her voice grew throaty.� �You have?�
Silence reigned for long seconds, aside from the rustle of bedclothes, irregular at first but soon becoming rhythmic.�
The woman asked in evident puzzlement, �What in the world did you put in me, Paul?�
�Does it feel funny, Vera?�
�No, I wouldn�t say that.� It smells funny!�
�Well, what�d you expect?� How do you like it?� Is it getting deep enough?�
�Oh, yes, all the way.� But, but � it feels like you�re going soft!�
�That�s because you are verily a hot number, Vera!�
�Do hurry up.� That odor is making me hungry.�
He laughed aloud.� �Me too!� I think that�s enough for the preliminary, don�t you?�
�Paul, I don�t under�� Wow!� Oh my god, that�s � that�s wonderful!� Oh, Paul, you know I love it.�� She laughed weakly.� �But don�t try to put your whole face in there!�
* * *
�Hello.�
�Hi, Paul.� Remember me?�
�Julia!�� He laughed.� �That�s a voice I�ll never forget.� How�ve you been, honey?� Oops!� Excuse me.� Old habits.�
�I don�t mind if you call me honey.� Even to my face.� We�re not enemies, Paul.�
�Tell your mother that.�
She laughed wryly.� �Mom sends her love.� Listen, I called up to wish you a happy birthday, this being your first since our divorce.�
�Thank you.�
�And to make sure you fully appreciate it.�
�Appreciate?� It�s not as if I�m turning 30, for Christ�s sake!�
She chuckled softly.� �No, not yet.� But I was killing two birds with one stone.� I remembered something you said once.� And of course I know what you love.�
�I�m sure you do.� What was it I said?�
�I couldn�t find the words then but now you know anyway.�
�What was it, Julia?�
She laughed in obvious enjoyment.� �You wondered what it felt like to have a cock in your mouth.�
END
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