Deviation
Copyright � 1999, Kellis
�Gosh, Hilda, are you sniffing our come?�
The boy was standing at the door behind the woman.� He saw her bent, one knee on the bed, nose to the crumpled sheet, but he failed to see her eyes widen with alarm, then narrow in determination.� Instead of jerking guiltily erect, she rose slowly and turned about.� With cocked eyebrow she asked, �What did you say?�
Both boys were standing in the bedroom doorway.� Larry, the leader by fifteen minutes seniority, stood in front of Barry.� Before them was a sight familiar from their earliest memories:� the fortyish housemaid, Hilda, plump in blue uniform skirt and lace cap.� She saw two skinny sixteen year-olds dressed only in T-shirts and boxer shorts.� They were identical except for a tiny scar at the edge of the right eyebrow, sustained by Larry in a prepubescent fall.� Both faces were alight with mischief.
�What were you smelling?� Larry demanded.
�Smelling?� the woman repeated, the other eyebrow rising to join the first.� �I thought I saw a mosquito.�
At that reasonable answer much of the light departed from Barry�s face, also from Larry�s.� But his eyes narrowed.� �In both beds?�
He saw from her face that his shot, though only a guess, had been accurate.� In fact the boys had whirled barefoot from the adjacent bathroom only in time to witness her attention to the far bed.
She went on the attack.� �What�re you doing home?�
Larry grinned at her.� �Did you forget, Hilda?� It�s Armistice Day.�
�Armistice Day!� she snorted.� �That�s for the wrong war.�
�But they still let school out for it.� You really were smelling our come, weren�t you?�
Her chin came up.� �What a thing to say!�
�You were smelling something!�
�Your mother says washing powders are getting hard to find.� I wanted to see if your sheets could go another day.�
Larry�s face fell.� �Oh.�� But his brother perked up.� �Then what was all that about a mosquito � in November?�
�It�s been warm.� I thought I saw where Larry mashed one.�
�Well, did I?� asked Larry.
She shrugged, turning back to the bed.� �No, it�s just a big stain.�
She snapped the sheet to smoothness and pulled up the counterpane that had been thrown to the floor.
�What kind of stain?� asked Larry over his shoulder, going to the shared dresser.
�You know what kind!� she retorted, turning to the other bed.
�Just wanted to see if you did,� the boy commented, handing out folded clothing to his brother.
�I know all about it!� the woman claimed with a smirk, snapping the covers over a similar stain on Barry�s bed.
By habit the boys proceeded to replace their slept-in underwear with fresh, an action involving brief periods of nudity, insensitive to the woman�s presence.� Also by habit she surreptitiously observed them, pretending to fluff Barry�s pillow.� They quickly donned long pants and long-sleeved shirts.
As they pushed past her toward the hall, her claim finally penetrated.� Larry stopped suddenly.� �How could you know all about it?�
�I wasn�t born yesterday.�
�But you�ve been living here ever since � I can remember.�
She grimaced at him.� �And you thought I was an old maid?�
His eyes widened.� Obviously he had so thought.
�Well, I�m the maid, and I�m old as your mother, but I�m not an old maid!� Now, go on to breakfast.�
She followed them out into the hall and down the stairs, which the boys descended side by side, conversing in their habitual undertone.� She overheard only one part, Larry confirming to his brother that �old maid� meant retention of a �cherry� at least to middle age.
The boys took seats at the kitchen table.� As Hilda poured the cornflakes, Larry asked, �Where�s Mom?
�Gone to the war bond drive.�
�Oh, yeah?� Where�d she get the gas?�
The maid grunted.� �Your mother always gets what she needs.�
Barry said hopefully, �Maybe this time she�ll have enough to let us practice driving.�
�I wouldn�t count on it.�
They heaped sugar onto the corn flakes.� Larry grinned at the woman�s frown.� �You gonna tell her?�
�Why shouldn�t I?� You know it�s rationed.�
�If you do, we�ll tell her you sniffed our come.�
The woman snorted.� �You think she�ll believe that?�
But he had seen a flash of something on her face.� He studied her thoughtfully while he chewed.� She pulled out a chair and sat down across from him.� Her eyes returned his gaze coolly.� She extended her question:� �Just how would you tell her that?�
Larry frowned as he took the next mouthful.� Barry looked from one to the other.
The woman continued, �You�d have to be very careful.�
�About what?�
�That she didn�t send you both to Doctor Pritchard.�
His eyes widened. ��What for?�
�With your father overseas, I�m surprised she hasn�t already.�
�You know we�re in good health, Hilda.� Why would she do that?�
�To stop you from jacking off.�
Both jaws ceased to masticate.� The boys stared at her.� �Stop us?� breathed Barry.
�If your mother learns about it, she�ll come unhinged.� She�ll probably think you�re sick.�
�Sick!� Barry repeated.� Both spoons dropped into cereal bowls.� Barry�s splashed milk back onto his finger, which promptly went into his mouth.
�We�re not sick!� Larry declared positively.� �Everybody does it.�
�Everybody?�
�Well, all the boys.�
The woman nodded.� �I think so, too, but your mother won�t.�
�How would they stop us?�
The woman�s eyes twinkled.� �Tie your hands to the bed posts.�
�God!� Barry exclaimed.
The woman frowned.� �Watch your language!�
�Sorry,� the boy replied automatically.
Larry cocked his head and grinned.� �That wouldn�t work.�
The woman studied him.� �Why not?�
�You can come by rubbing on the covers.�
She chuckled.� �A teenage boy can do it to a cored apple stuck in a fence.�
�He can?� breathed Barry.� �Who told you that?�
She only smiled, then cocked an eyebrow.� �You do know where it�s meant to go, don�t you?�
Barry nodded.� �Girls.�� His voice contained no enthusiasm.
She studied him.� �What�s the matter with girls?�
Larry answered mockingly, �All they talk about is soldiers.�
Her eyes twinkled.� �So find younger girls.�
�Their mamas watch them like a hawk.�
She snorted.� �You give up too easy.�
Larry�s eyes widened.� �Say, Hilda!� You can tell us.�
�Tell you what?�
�What to say to them.�
She grinned.� �Betray my sex?�
They stared at her.� She laughed.� �Did you forget I was once a girl, too?�
�I guess so,� Larry admitted grudgingly.� They picked up their spoons and resumed eating.
She watched them thoughtfully.� After awhile she said, �One thing I want to warn you about.� It�s very bad.�
�You mean disease?� asked Larry around his wet mouthful.
�Disease!� Who told you about that?�
He shrugged.� �Guys talk.�
She smiled slightly.� �Until you learn how to get the girls, disease is no problem.� No, it�s not disease.� It�s something much worse.�
Both boys regarded her in wonder.� �What do you mean?� asked Larry.
She studied them with a serious expression.� �If you don�t get girls pretty soon, I�m afraid you�ll start using each other.�
Barry began, �What do you �� Oh.�
She did not miss the guilty look they exchanged.
�I was raised in an orphanage,� she announced, grunting with amusement at the responding expressions.� �You didn�t know that, did you?�
They shook their heads, again forgetting to chew.
�I stayed there until I was nineteen and I saw a lot.� I know what boys and girls do with each other � and without each other.� One thing I saw was how boys leave messes in the morning.� The only thing worse than boys is boys and girls together, but at least that�s natural.� And girls will usually clean it up.
�You�re right:� I�ve been studying your messes.� Several times lately I�ve found a big mess in just one bed.�
Again the spoons fell into the bowls.� Heads drooped, but not so far that she couldn�t see the flush on both foreheads.� She leaned across the table, extending a hand to touch each hot cheek.� �You little rascals!� You know I love you.� Now tell me how far you�ve gone with it.�
�Wh-what do you mean?� Larry asked, looking up warily.
She withdrew her hands.� �You�ve jacked each other off, haven�t you?�
They looked at each other.� Both nodded.
�Have you sucked each other�s dicks?�
Both made choking sounds.� She studied them narrowly.� Barry looked up at the ceiling, face flaming.� Larry looked away from the table.
The woman said dryly, �I see you don�t deny it.� How many times, Larry?�
He licked his lips and sighed.� At last he said in a weak voice, �Twice.�
She repeated, �Twice.� All right.� Have you done anything else?�
�Such as?�
�You tell me.�
�Well �� We sucked tongues.�
He finally looked into her eyes, where it seemed another question trembled.� If so, she decided against voicing it.
She took a deep breath.� �I want to tell you fellows something important.� In this state it�s against the law for men or boys to do what you�ve just admitted.� It�s considered a crime almost as bad as cold blooded murder.� They can put you away for 40 years if they catch you.� 40 years!� Do you understand?�
Their eyes were large.� Both nodded.
�So point one.�� She ticked her points off on her fingers.� �I�ll never tell, but don�t you ever admit it to anyone else.� Point two:� stop doing it!� Anything done long enough and often enough is sure to get noticed.� And point three:� I�ll see that you don�t want to do it anymore!�
Larry cocked his head.� �You�ll tell us how to get girls?�
She smiled.� �Girls are another kind of trouble, especially just now.� When you get older, they�ll come around.� No.� What I mean is ��
Their attention was rapt.� She smiled fondly at them.� �Your father hired me when you were babies.� I couldn�t love my own children, if I was able to have any, more than I do you.� Your parents have reprimanded me many times for indulging you.� And it�s true:� if you�re spoiled it�s mostly my fault.
�In one sense you�ve grown up beyond what I can give you.� But in another you�ve just now grown into it.�
The boys studied her familiar face.� They looked at each other, then back to her.� Larry asked, �You mean ��
�I was once a girl, too.� I�ve still got everything I had then, only more so.�
Both boys pushed back their chairs and stood up, staring at her.� Larry breathed, �You mean you ��
She nodded.� �I do mean me.� I may be the only woman you ever find who�ll love you both together.�
�But how ��
�I�ll arrange all that.� With only four people in the household it�ll be duck soup � that is, if you loud mouths will keep quiet about it.� I can count on that, can�t I?�
At their vehement nods she added, �Now sit down and finish your breakfasts.�� Her eyes sparkled above an anticipatory smile.� �You�re going to need your stamina.�