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I always hated my name! Why do
parents call their children strange names? Do they
not realise that these names stick with children
all their life? I am 11 and I also want to change
my name. My mother called me Harper and I am a
boy. Besides me hating my name, I had the perfect
life. I had a good mother that was not an evil
bitch, or worried too much about us. She gave us
freedom and never really got mad at us. It was
only me and my sister that was 10. She was born
nearly a year after me. When she was born, my
father left us, so I don’t really remember him or
even miss him. So I lived in a small but happy
family. My mother came from a rich family, so she
had a lot of money so she could dedicate her life
to us. It was also an excuse that she could have
fun. As I said, she never got mad at us, but maybe
that’s because when she said something, we knew
that she meant it. While I was a quiet boy, my
sister was a bit noisier. She was not afraid of
anything, especially saying what she thinks. She was
a typical girl. You know she liked everything that
was pink and she liked dolls and toys like that. I
must admit that she was growing out of them. People
thought that we were twins, as we were the same
size. There was a year between us. This
meant she was not considered the little sister,
but the same as me. One thing that annoyed me was when I
wanted to watch sports on TV. It was very hard
when your sister and mother couldn’t keep quiet. I
found a solution. I visited an old man who came
from China. We lived in a small town and I always
wondered who bought the strange medicine that he
sold. The shop was an old dark dusty shop that was
one big mess. But he didn’t speak and bother me
when we looked at football. It was one of these days when I
visited him. There was an important football game
and both Mom and my sister were home. I cycled to
his shop and we soon were staring at the game.
After the first goal, we shouted as it was out
favourite team that scored. I was suddenly thirsty
and I tried to stay quiet, as I knew that the
Chinese man hated when I interrupted. I don’t know
if you ever tried to concentrate on something, and
you couldn’t because something was in your head. I
was like this for 15 minutes, but then I asked him
did he have a drink? He scowled at me and said
there were some Chinese bottles behind me and I
can take the one that said spring drink. I looked
at the brown bottles, but the writing was in
Chinese. I was about to ask him, but I could see
that he was already irritated. I took the bottle
with a butterfly on it and took a drink of it. It
was like it exploded in my mouth. I continued to
drink it, while the Chinese man stood up as there
was about to be another goal. I couldn’t see the
TV, as everything around me became pink. I felt
dizzy as I was on a cloud, and then I felt pains
in my chest. While the man went wild over a goal,
I collapsed on the bed. I knew that it must have
been poison, but I didn’t cry. I never cried! I felt
my eyes become heavy, as I seen the Chinese man
stand over me, saying “What did you do? You will
never be the same again” There seemed to be blackness, and I
couldn’t open my eyes. I heard voices. I heard my
mother and sister cry. I heard my mother ask
someone when will I wake up as it was 4 days. I
heard my sister ask if I was going to die? I
struggled to open my eyes and I couldn’t. I thought
I must have been in a hospital. This blackness
continued for a bit, when I could see some light
in my eyelids. With all my strength I opened my
eyes. My mother, sister, Chinese man and a doctor
was standing above me. I was
alive. The Doctor said I should get some rest and
everyone should leave. The Chinese man said he
would sit with me. The others left and the Chinese man
pulled down my sheets, and then pulled down my
pyjamas. I knew it. I was 11; old enough that he
wanted to molest me. That must be why he had no
wife. I wanted to scream but was too weak to. I
looked down and seen my body. Then I felt anxiety
and weak. I must have fainted because everything
went black again. When I woke up, I asked him
where my body was. The Chinese man explained, “The
bottle you have drunk was a special medicine that
costs lot of money. It is to make old people young
again. Only 3 bottles exist in the world and you
drunk a half of a bottle. As you are already
young, the magic in the bottle did not know what
to do, so it changed your body to a girl’s body.
You now have the body of a girl” “Well give me more so I am a boy
again” “You nearly died from this, and we do
not know if there are any side effects. If you
drank more, it will most certainly kill you.” “What side effect. I am no longer a
boy. What else can go wrong?” “You have the body of a girl but the
mind you always had, the mind of a boy. The
medicine was supposed to make you younger, so your
body can act like its younger still or what’s
worse, people will think you are younger” “Mum will be so mad when she finds
out I am a girl” “She thinks you are a boy now as does
everyone else. That is because she has not seen
your body. You can continue as a boy and living as
a boy, as long as people does not see what is
below your underpants. If they do, the magic will
affect them that they will think you always have
been a girl and just are a tomboy. There is one
exception to this, you can say this to one person
and they will know the truth. But if two or more
sees you naked, the whole world will think you
have deceived them or hid the fact that you were
actually a girl” “I don’t understand a word of this.
All I understand is that your stupid medicine made
me a girl and now I feel like a freak! I hate you! “The best is that no one ever sees
your body, and then you can be a boy” I got mad at him and told him to
leave and I never wanted to see him again. He left
and I laid there looking at the ceiling. It was
his fault as he had the potion where I could see
it. He could have helped me pick the right drink.
I felt a few tears come to my face and before I
knew it, I was crying! The next morning, I woke up and
decided I had the mind of the boy. The fact that
my body was the body of a girl did not bother me.
I was going to be a boy. I put on some underwear
and a t-shirt and cargo pants. Somehow they felt a
bit course. I didn’t understand this, but I didn’t
care. I had to get past my mother that thought I
was still dying. I convinced her that I needed
fresh air and I needed to see my friends. She
allowed me as long as I did not overdo it I went to the local park, where my
friends were playing football. I didn’t really
take an easy. I had a lot of energy and played as
I didn’t play in a week or so, which was true. My
friends were happy to see me after they hearing I
was very sick. I didn’t have much time as it was
time to play!
I sprang around the football field and even
managed to get a few goals. I forgot the curse of
what happened to my body until one boy said that
he could not believe I was so sick, as I was
prancing around the field like a ballet dancer. I
wondered did he know? I felt like crying, but I
managed to keep the tears back. After the game, we
sat down and talked about how great summer
holidays were. There were some girls there. They
never spoke with me before, but the prettiest of
them all started whispering to me. Her name was
Sabrina and was so hot. The others could not hear
what she was saying, and I suppose that was good,
as she was telling me I did look like a dancer,
because I was so flexible. She also liked that my
hair was now long. I didn’t notice it, but my hair
did grow a lot.
I didn’t care, as it was Sabrina, the
hottest girl in the class that was now speaking
with me, The next few days were heaven during
the day when I was with my friends. I would play
football and hang around with friends. I was like
my old self. Sabrina and I were the best of
friends, and some people even said that we were
boyfriend and girlfriend. The only time I was sad
was when I was home. I was forced to sit on the
toilet when I peed, and when I took a bath, I was
reminded that I was now a girl, or had a girl’s
body. When I looked in the mirror, I could see
what was missing and my hair was growing very
fast. It was now half ways down to my shoulders. I
suppose this was just the girl genes in the body
wanting to make me look more like a girl. I asked
my mother if I should get a haircut. She said my
hair looked cute long. It brought out the rebel
side of me. I didn’t argue with her. At
night, when I was in bed, I would think about
Sabrina. Every day that went by meant that she was
my girlfriend. Was it fair that I didn’t tell her
that I had a girl’s body? It was a few weeks after I drank the
potion. My
hair was now down to my shoulders, but thankfully
it was growing less and less. Everyone noticed
that it was long now and they joked by saying what
fertiliser did I use? They also knew that Sabrina
was my girlfriend. I woke up one morning and was
smiling. Yes, the potion destroyed my body, but no
one knew this and I was happy. However something
was a bit strange this morning. I had a strange
feeling and I started to think what it was. It
felt like I was in the middle of a lake. I looked
under the sheets and found out that I was wet. I could
not believe it! I was wet! I peed the bed. I
started to panic, thinking the Chinese man said
that my body could lose its functions, as it was
acting like it was younger. I started to cry. I
could not believe that I was crying. I never
cried. I got control of myself and then I quickly
got washed and changed the bed. I took the sheets
down to the hamper. My mother seen them and she
just sighed and said I was a bit too old to be
wetting the bed.
Then she just gave me a hug and said that
it must be the warm nights. I went outside and went to the park
as usual. Mum was right, it was very hot. We
didn’t wait and chat much as we started kicking
the ball around. After 20 minutes, we were all
feeling like we were in an oven. The other boys
started taking off their t-shirts. I just looked
impatiently as I wanted to continue kicking the
ball. They looked at me, and asked why I was not
afraid to take off mine. I begged that we just
continue playing, as I was fine. They wouldn’t
stop and even asked if I am hiding boobs. It was
now that I remembered the body I was hiding. I
think that I went white and started to panic a
bit. I looked at Sabrina, and I could not see any
bumps in her tight t-shirt. That made me happy
remembering most girls do not enter puberty when
they are 11. I slowly take off the t-shirt soI was
now bare on the top. I looked at the football and
was about to kick it until a boy said that I had
boobs. I looked down and noticed that there were
two small bumps. I then felt them and it was true.
My chest was beginning to grow. I wished the world
would swallow me as I thought that I always looked
down below, not my chest in the mirror. I looked
down and this time, I was sure after looking
twice. I did have some bumps. The boys teased and
called me boob boy and everything else they could
think about. One boy was reaching out towards it,
and I ran away before he could touch them. I sat
below a tree and noticed that tears were coming
down my eyes.
It then just it me, that I was crying. I
have been crying when they teased me. More tears
fell from my eyes as I felt sorry for myself. I
was ashamed that I was crying once again, I was so
sad. My life was now destroyed over some potion. I was
crying my eyes out when Sabrina came to me and
then put her arm around me. She was explaining
that some boys had bumps; it was just something
that happened during puberty. She knew
this was just a phase that he was going through. I was
crying louder, it was the first time that she said
she loved me.
I cried more.
I wanted to pull my shorts down and show
her that I had the same body as her. I bet she
wouldn’t love me then. I ran
home. The next few days, I stayed home.
Sabrina tried to send me text messages and ask why
I wasn’t playing football, and I should at least
try to be friends with the other again, as they
forgot about it. I also knew that the probably
have forgotten about it, but that was not the
problem. I
had two major problems that I had to figure out. The most
important problem I had was that I was wetting my
bed. I
couldn’t understand why. The first few days, Mum
said that it was just because I was stressed or
had a problem. After a few days, I could see that
she was now getting worried and was telling us
that she would be ringing the doctor. I didn’t
pay any notice to this. I just was worried about
getting up, and cleaning up before mum could see. I was
afraid she would she would see me when I was
getting changed.
That is also why I didn’t go out so much,
what would happen if I wet myself while I was out
with friends?
Another reason is that I was very
emotional. I cried over every little thing. This
was confusing as I was always strong. I noticed
sometimes that I had to put a thumb in my mouth,
and then I would calm down. I could
not let the others see me in a crying fit, and
ending up with a thumb in my mouth. Until now only
Sabrina seen me cry and that was enough It was like my life was turned upside
down. I now had a girl’s body, and then starting
to wet the bed every day and crying like a girl. I
felt so alone. I didn’t want to talk with the
Chinese man as he was the one that gave me this
curse. I had to tell someone. So one evening, I
asked my sister to come in my room and told her
that I had a secret. She starting saying that she
knew about the bedwetting, but I told her to hush.
I took a deep breath and told her that I was a
girl. Her reaction was that she burst out
laughing. I then pulled down my shorts and shown
her my privates. I could see that she went white
in the face and was trying to ask why. I told
her everything and then said she will remember
that I was a boy, because I told her. But if
others found out, they will think that I was
always a girl. She was very understanding about
it, and said I was lucky, because being a girl was
better than being a boy. She
promised that she would tell no one. After that we
played with her dolls. It was like a sudden burden was
lifted from my shoulders. The next day I was once
again playing with the friends and they teased,
but I did not mind that much. They asked me how my
boy boobs were and did I want to be a girl with my
long hair. I just smiled and continued to kick the
ball. If they only knew the while truth. Still I
was happy, as when I was playing football, I could
forget about the things that were happening to me.
I could forget and concentrate on kicking a ball.
After a day of playing football, I
came in the door and mum asked me if how I could
get so dirty. I noticed that she has been
shopping. She told me to go to the bathroom and
take a bath. I just nodded as she often said this
when I came home.
I went in and took a bath. I must have been
there for a while, because Mum asked several times
if I was finished.
I got out of the tub and walked to my
bedroom. I
nearly fainted when my mother was standing there,
with a towel on the bed. I could
feel my face go white. I told my mother that I can
put on my own night clothes. Before I
knew it, Mum took my arm and I was on the bed. I
don’t know how I managed to do it, but I got up
and rushed to the door. My mother came and scooped
me up and threw my on the bed. I was so
embarrassed that she could lift me. I was small
and thin, but I never expected this. I shouted
that I can get my own clothes on, however the
woman was too strong. Despite I was crying and
screaming and kicking, she managed to remove the
towel. She must have seen my girl’s parts, because
she suddenly froze. The only sound was me crying
and a sudden thunder sound outside. It was like as if she went white and
then I could see her staring at my privates. Then she
froze again and looked straight ahead of her. She
has a blank look on her face, and then she was
back to herself. Then it was like and she snapped
back to herself. “Listen princess, you have been
wetting the bed for the last week. I don’t know
why it is, and I just want to stop. I think it’s
time to stop acting like a tomboy playing boy
games and looking like a boy. From now on you will
be more lady like.
I am throwing all this boy clothes out and
I will buy you clothes that a girl your age should
wear. Until then you are to wear your sister’s
clothes. She is the same size as you. After
supper every night, you are to wear diapers. Let’s
hope that the bed stays dry” She called me a princess, and then
she said that I was to stop being a tomboy. The
Chinese man was right; she will think I have
always been a girl. I tried telling her that I
didn’t want to wear my sister’s clothes. I knew it
was a waste of time telling her that I am a boy. She
could see my body, and it was not a boy’s body. I
begged her to let me wear boys clothes as well as
not wear the bulky diapers. She just put a mad
look on her face and said I should be lucky I was
not wearing diapers all day and toddler dresses. I
mumbled something and let the tears run out. Needless to say, my sister teased and
laughed at me. She was saying that she was now the
older sister. I wanted to throw a pillow at her,
but it seems like my body wanted to cry. Once
again I started to cry as my sister just sat
there. I think I understood her. She knew
I was a boy that and here I was wearing a diaper
and a white nightgown that went to my knees. I
think I cried myself to sleep, as my clothes were
put in boxes and my sisters old clothes were put
in their place. I woke up the next morning; I put on
some panties and white leggings that went just
below my knees. Then I found a yellow t-shirt with
a crown on it. I realized that the others would
still think I was a boy. I did not want to go out
and play, but I did not hang around home so my mum
would drag me out shopping for girl clothes. I
slowly went out towards the park. I wanted to
strip the clothes off, as it felt they felt like
they were clinging to me. Plus they were so
girlish. I didn’t jump into playing football; I
just sat in a corner looking at them. It
didn’t stop them from stopping the game and then
came over to me. They stared at my clothes, and
then one said that he always knew I was a sissy,
as why I had hair to my shoulders. Then they
started laughing and teasing and calling me names
such as girly, sissy and even gay! I ran home and
hid in my room until my mother came to put a
diaper on me. Then I cried that night. The next day, I figured that they
would be over it. I wore some black leggings that
looked like tights and a tank top that was white
with a tiara on it. The only difference in my hair
was that it’s in a ponytail. I wondered
why my sister ever wore clothes like that. As I
came close to the football field, I could hear
that they once again starting to call names. I
just walked away as I knew what they wanted to
call me. I went to my hiding place by the lake. I
just sat down with a few tears flowing down my
cheeks. I no longer got mad at myself when I
cried. I was getting used to it. I would have
loved to play football, but now I just sat her
thinking of how my life sucked, just because I had
a girl’s body. Then
I heard Sabrina’s voice. She sat beside me and
then gave me a hug. I looked at her and noticed
she was wearing the same leggings. This made me
want the earth to swallow me. She put her arm
around me and told me she always knew I was
special. She started giving a lecture that it was
OK being a sissy. She explained that I looked more
like a girl than a boy, and I was cute. She told
me how brave I was showing the world that I was a
sissy, and didn’t mind girl clothes. I was
trying to get a word in edgeways but I couldn’t.
Then she told me she considered me her boyfriend
and she was deep in love with me. I looked at her
and said I had to tell her the truth. I didn’t
get a chance to; as we heard the boys come Sabrina and I stood up. I was
thinking that the boys would tease us that we were
now boyfriend and girlfriend. They started saying
that we had the same leggings on and then the
oldest boy said they were so tight, and yet he
could not see any tent in mine. Then they started
discussing if I was a sissy or really a girl. Then
the oldest boy told me to pull down my leggings
and prove it. I knew why he wanted me to do it. He
wanted to embarrass me in front of Sabrina. I just
stood there and refused to. I wanted to run away,
but there was a lake on one side of me. I knew
they were serious and it didn’t help that Sabrina
went into a panic, telling me to run. I also
knew this was the only way out. I looked
at the boys and started to run as fast as I could
towards the weakest one. A few months ago, I could
have taken him down.
However I had a different body now, and
managed to slowly push him away. However it was
too slow and the other boys ganged up on me. All I
could see was hands all over the place. I could
feel the leggings being pulled down. I fought as
much as I could but I could slowly feel them being
pulled down and then it was my panties turn. I could
hear them laughing when they saw the panties, and
then everything went quiet when the panties were
pulled down.
Then they just stopped and had a blank look
on their face. I
heard the thunder sound again and then the boys
stood back. They had wide eyes and after a few
minutes, in which I managed to pull up the
leggings and see normal, they said, “Why did we
always think you were a boy? You are a girl! You
just pretended to be a boy to play football. I
always thought you were too pretty to be a boy.”
The boys were in shock and just walked away.
Sabrina stood there with tears in her eyes. She
didn’t say anything but slapped my face and walked
off. The next week I was at home. I didn’t
dare go out as now everyone considered me a girl.
The boys were hardly going to let a girl play
football, and how stupid is that? Sabrina also
hated me now. I just stayed at home and watched
TV. There was nothing good on at daytime except
children’s cartoons and other shows where taught
you how to count or what colour was what. The
thing is after a few days, I became engrossed in
these. I would stare at the child’s programs all
day, despite my sister teasing and my mother
asking if I had anything better to do. I was
subdued in a way; I no longer cared what happened.
When I was getting my diaper on, mum always asked
me if I was depressed. One day Mum said we had to go out and
get some help. I wondered what help she meant. She
put me in a denim dress and we went down town. She went
towards the Chinese man and was going to walk in.
She was holding my hand and I tried to pull away –
I did not want to see that man again. He was the
one that caused all my problems. Mum just pulled
me in and we were suddenly in a little tea room at
the back. The man said it’s a long time since he
seen me, and I just scowled at him. My Mum was
speaking to him how I would not accept I was a
girl. She told him I was depressed since she
started telling me to wear diapers and girl
clothes. I was confident and smiling. At least the
Chinese man would tell her the truth of how I
became like this, and give me some potion. But he
started telling her what he thinks about children,
and said the best way to cure my condition was
regression. I didn’t even know what this meant. I
tried to say it but could not even pronounce it. I
went out to the shop while they continued talking
what the word meant. I had a better idea. I went
into the shop and tried looking for the same
bottle with a potion. I searched the whole store
and I could not find it. Then he came out and I
told him that he ruined my life, He touched the
ponytail and told me that things would get far
worse than they will get better. It would have
helped if I just accepted I was a girl. I told him
I hated him. When we got home, Mum was on the
phone and paying for things over the internet. I
just sat and seen the children’s shows. Mum told
me that she is glad she told the man that I saw
those, as he said it shows that rejuvenation is
the right way. I just scowled and said that the
man is crazy. Mum came towards me and out a
pacifier in my mouth. I should have spit it out
but just sucked it, Two days later I woke up to a lot of
noise. My mother came in and told me to go down to
the sitting room as there were some men that were
working in the house. I pointed towards the wet
diaper I was wearing and mum sighed and told me to
lie on the bed. I thought that was strange as I
just usually ripped them off. I was shocked when
she put another diaper on me. I never
wore them at day. I tried to protest that there
were men here. My mother just put a pacifier in my
mouth telling me not to take it out. I walked out
just wearing a diaper with a pacifier in my mouth.
The men gave me strange looks. I wanted to stick
my finger up at them but walked into and seen
telebubbies. It was hard to see with all the noise
but I managed, despite my sister asking if I am
not embarrassed I was 11 and laying on the floor
with just a diaper on and pacifier in my mouth. She also
laughed when a workman came with a bottle of milk.
I looked at it. It was a baby’s bottle. I should
have got mad. I should have at least screwed the
top off. But I just replaced my pacifier with it.
Finally the men went and I could hear
the show in peace and quiet. My Mum said I could
come now and see what the men did. I struggled
into my room. Mum said if it was hard walking, I
could crawl. I got on my hands and knees and
crawled in. I couldn’t believe it; she changed my
room into a girl’s nursery. There was a crib and
changing table. All my sisters’ clothes were
replaced by small girl clothes that only toddlers
would wear. The whole room was pink and white,
with cute animals on the wall dancing on a
rainbow, behind the crib was a drawing of the care
bears. I smiled. I liked that. But a crib? Mom
picked me up and asked why I was not protesting.
She said that it seemed like I didn’t care
anymore. She said that was I had to get used to
now. I was starting life again and this time I
would be happy. I just sucked my pacifier. The next few weeks, I was being
treated like a baby. It was a slow process. But as
every day went, I was acting more and more like a
baby. Mum was also giving me some potion that the
Chinese man gave her. After a few weeks I would
wake up, and then cry until someone got me out of
the crib. Then I would get my diaper changed and
some short toddler dress on. I loved when I got
tights on. They felt so nice against my skin. Then
I would be put in a high chair and given some
food. After that I would play in the playpen or
see a toddler program. The pacifier never left my
mouth, unless there was a bottle of juice or milk.
I loved when Mum put me in the stroller and took
me around town or the park. It was so fun to play
on the swings. I didn’t even mind when the bigger
boys laughed at me. At night time, I would put on
a night dress and sleep in my crib. At the end of summer, I was a baby
girl now for a few months. I no longer remembered
the Chinese man, or anything that I done before.
If you told me that I was 11, I would laugh. If
you told me that I once had a boy’s body, I would
have laughed. I was a girl! I was also excited,
because I was about to start at Miss Mandy’s
nursery the next day. There was another boy called
Jack there and a girl. Mum said they were a bit
slow in the head. I did not care The night before, I went to the new
nursery. We were being babysat. This
pretty girl came in and she looked a bit shocked.
Mum went and she played some games with us. Her
name was Sabrina and she was very nice. She told
me she forgave me, and asked what has happened to
me. I just smiled as I did not have a clue what
she was talking about. At the
end Mum came home and told us that she would
babysit us again. The next day, I started at the new
nursery. It was great fun. I liked the other
children and I loved every part of it, especially
when Miss Mandy read us a story. We took a nap.
When I opened my eyes, I could see Sabrina; she
was there with a woman. The woman was the
principal of Sabrina’s school. Sabrina sat me up
and showed me a picture, “I need you to listen.”
She started as she showed me a picture of a boy
swimming at a lake, “I forgive you. When I found
out you were a girl, I was confused, because I was
in love with you. I knew I was not a lesbian. I
tried to forget you, but could not, because there
was a hole in my heart. Then when I babysat you, I
knew there was a problem. You are now like a baby
girl. I went home and cried while looking through
my old pictures. I found this one. It is you
swimming last year. Look at it! You are wearing
speedos. You can also see the tent in them that
proves that you were a boy. Something strange has
happened.” The Principal looked at Sabrina,
“Sabrina, that is enough, I told you that she has
started here because she has experienced a mental
problem, where she considers herself a baby.
Something has happened to her so she is regressed.
Miss Mandy will help her. I promised to follow you
here to show you that she is being taken care of.
That picture is someone that looks like her. If
you see the school record that I have taken with
me, you can see that it says right here that she
is a ….. Wait….. What?.... I can’t believe it…. It
says here that she is a boy!” The end |