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Chapter 24
Chapter 25 � Ruthie�s birthday wish
That night, after her classes were finished and she had eaten dinner
with Mike, Ruthie accompanied him to his room and allowed him to make
love to her. She surprised him by getting on her elbows and knees,
spreading her legs and lewdly exposing herself. Before he entered her,
he took a couple of pictures. She closed her eyes and fantasized about
being spanked and photographed during one of her art class modeling
sessions�yes�getting with the belt right in front of all those students
who drew her every day. She actually did respond to Mike�a little�which
was not common for her at all.
Once he was asleep, Ruthie took out two picture cards that fit into her
mother�s digital camera and placed them next to her computer. One of the
cards had been filled to capacity for a couple of years and was kept
locked up in a jewelry box with Ruthie�s passport, ID cards, and her one
credit card. The second card was still in the camera, but it was almost
full. She inserted the older card and started going through the images
she had taken of herself during the first three years she had been in
high school. The oldest pictures on the card were ones of her with her
cousins and a few of her that her mother had taken the year after she
had moved to Salinas. But then, starting from the middle of her freshman
year; began a vast collection of pictures she had taken of herself. All
of the images on the card from that point forward were nude
self-portraits.
Ruthie already had been running around her apartment in the nude for
nearly a year and was used to staring at herself in the mirror when she
started to take pictures of herself. A few days before she started, she
had seen Rosa using a delayed focus to take a group shot with some
friends. The camera in Ruthie�s apartment also had a delayed focus and,
remembering how Rosa used the function to include herself in a group
shot; Ruthie wondered if she could use the delayed focus to take a
self-portrait. For several weeks she had been curious to see what she
would look like photographed in the nude. During her daily morning �me
time� she experimented with the focus and finally learned how to time
her movement so she could set the camera and move in front of it before
the flash went off. The first several pictures came out blurry, but then
she got a very clear one of herself sitting on her bed. For a long time
she admired that first picture, a casual pose of herself naked and
looking into the camera. That image and pose were the first of many she
would take of herself in the nude over the next four years. She
experimented with positions and lighting, keeping the pictures she liked
and getting rid of the ones she didn�t. Over time her collection grew
and her ability to take self-portraits improved.
The contents of that picture card and its successor were her most prized
possession, and yet they were a possession that up until that afternoon
had been a total secret from the entire world. She had conflicting
feelings about the collection of images, because she was proud of them
and wanted to show them to someone, but at the same time she was
desperately afraid of them getting out. Now she did have a person to
safely show them to and they would remain a secret, because Hartman was
sworn to maintain patient confidentiality. Whatever the counselor
thought of the pictures, she would have to keep quiet because of the
rules of her profession. For Ruthie that restriction was perfect.
Ruthie had never made any back-up copies of her photo collection. It was
one thing out of many in her life that she had procrastinated. She had
bought two thumb drives, one for her entire collection and the other to
copy just the pictures she was planning to show to her counselor. When
she counted the number of pictures stored on the two cards she was
surprised, because she counted over 900 images altogether, of which
nearly 800 were �naughty� pictures. That was just her high school
collection. Mike had several hundred more recently taken pictures stored
in his camera. Figuring that night was as good a time as any, she
quietly took Mike�s card out of his camera and added his pictures to the
collection stored on the thumb-drive. Adding Mike�s pictures raised the
total to 1500 files, almost all of which were images of Ruthie�s exposed
body. Just the thought of having posed for so many pictures aroused her.
Within the collection there were about 200 images she had taken during
the months she was experimenting with self-spanking. Most of those 200
photos were taken during or after her sessions with the bath brush,
displaying her bare bottom in various shades of red. The remaining
self-portraits were taken while she was holding the bath brush in her
hand and masturbating. She spent a long time looking at those images on
her computer screen. They had been taken nearly four years before, but
Ruthie still found them very erotic. She really did look sexy posing
with her red butt for the camera. The very last picture of that batch
had been taken right after she had giving herself that really severe
spanking that left her bottom swollen and covered with welts, just a few
hours before her gym teacher saw her in the nurse�s office. Following
that last spanking picture there was a four-month gap in the images
because she had been too scared to take any more, but she could not
bring herself to deleting the ones she already had taken. Starting on
her 16th birthday the pictures started up again, but from that point
forward the images were just nudes.
As she looked through the spanking images, she thought about sorting out
which ones were the best, but decided that it would be better to let Dr.
Hartman know the full story of how obsessed she was about inflicting
punishment on herself and documenting the results.
During her next appointment Ruthie handed a thumb drive to her
counselor. She was extremely nervous as she stood next to Hartman�s
desk. She felt as though she had gone into Hartman�s office, taken off
her clothes, and was standing naked next to her counselor. In a way she
was indeed standing naked next to her counselor, because the pictures graphically
exposed her and left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
Hartman looked though about half of the images in silence. She then
pulled the thumb drive and handed it back to her patient. She was calm,
so Ruthie had no idea what effect, if any seeing those pictures had on
her.
�A question. How old were you when you were posing for those pictures?�
�For the ones you saw, 15. I was 15 years old.�
�I suppose I�m not going to be able to talk you into getting rid of
them.�
�Why?�
�You need to understand that what�s on that thumb-drive is about as
illegal as you can get. People go to jail for years for having stuff
like that on their computers.�
�Are you gonna report me?�
�No. That�s not my job. And I�m not passing judgment on what you were
doing, nor am I passing judgment on the fact you like photographing
yourself. I�m simply warning you those images will get you in a lot of
legal trouble if they ever get out.�
Ruthie was annoyed that was her counselor�s only reaction to the
contents of her thumb drive. She had been hoping Dr. Hartman would be
scandalized, or better yet, perhaps aroused. Instead she looked at them
dispassionately and the only comment about them that she had was that
they were illegal. Yes, Ruthie already knew that. She wasn�t sure how to
proceed. Hartman broke the silence.
�So�this is what you were doing right after you had that disappointment
with Mrs. Peters?�
�I guess it wasn�t right after�maybe I started a couple of weeks later.�
Ruthie then told the story from beginning to end, starting with how
everything started when she overheard a conversation not meant for her
ears. Hartman pointed out that what the conversation did was give her
the idea of using the bath brush for something she had been wanting to
do anyway. The two women spent several minutes trying to unravel
Ruthie�s mix of religious guilt and burning sexuality. Hartman pointed
out that Ruthie needed an outlet for both her guilt and her sexual
frustrations and it was her bruised bottom that paid the price.
Hartman pointed out that Ruthie was extremely lucky that her gym teacher
did not report the �abuse�, because under state law she was supposed to
do so. Hartman could imagine how scary that must have been for her
client, wondering if her �secret� would be exposed. Given the religion
that was being pushed on her at the time, it was easy to picture how
Ruthie must have been on a guilt trip for months afterwards for nearly
having gotten her mother in trouble, which was indeed true.
�I�m wondering if that scare that you had was sort of a watershed event
in your life. I�m wondering that because it seems you got a lot more
into serious reading and adult topics after you turned 16.�
�I �spose maybe that�s true, Dr. Hartman.
�And you never got back into punishing yourself?�
Ruthie shook her head.
�Is that something you�d ever think about doing?�
�I�d love it. But it would have to be just right, and I don�t see how
I�d ever find anyone who could do it �just right�. I mean�people are
into all kinds of weird shit�blood, black clothing, high heels, tattoos,
punching holes in their skin, pissing in their faces�and I wouldn�t want
to do any of that, or even look at it. I�d just want it to be simple�I
take off my dress, get my ass spanked, cry a bit, and get held. I don�t
want to have to deal with any of the weird shit.�
�Have you brought this up with Mike?�
Ruthie shook her head.
�No. I couldn�t picture doing anything like that with him.�
�Why�s that?�
Ruthie thought for a minute. Why couldn�t she picture doing anything
like that with him? Was it her dislike of sex? Was it that she didn�t
want to risk messing up the relationship? Was it that she still was
holding on to her fantasy with Mrs. Peters? Was it that she didn�t trust
him? Or maybe she didn�t trust herself?
�I don�t know. I never thought about it.�
�Well, I think you should consider talking to Mike about your fantasies.
I�m not saying actually do anything, but it might help your relationship
if you get to know a bit more about that part of each other. I�m going
to guess you never asked him about his fantasies either.�
Ruthie shook her head.
�I�d hope your relationship would be about sharing. You two are leaving
out a lot if you�re not talking about your turn-on�s.�
Hartman proceeded to help Ruthie put her episodes of self-spanking into
perspective, and in doing so helped her client resolve some of the guilt
she felt over what she did to herself when she was 15. Hartman surprised
the student by telling her that she was by no means the first client who
admitted to inflicting self-punishment for sexual pleasure. �It�s a lot
more common that you realize. And you think that the others who�ve come
into my office don�t have the same worries about it that you do?�
Hartman also pointed out that a lot of religious sects, ranging from the
Catholic Church to radical Muslims, encouraged their members to inflict
self-punishment.
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By the time she left Hartman�s office, Ruthie felt a lot more confident
about herself, that maybe she really wasn�t as much of a freak with her
sexual fantasies as she had thought. Because of what she had learned in
that session, she decided that she would indeed share some of her
fantasies with Mike. She also fully intended to share her collection of
photographs with him, perhaps as a birthday present. That was the one
piece of Hartman�s advice she would never follow: there was no way she�d
consider deleting the pictures she had taken of herself throughout high
school. They documented an important part of her life, they were
irreplaceable, and they meant too much to her.
Ruthie�s 19th birthday was just a few days after she shared her �secret�
with Dr. Hartman, at the end of March. She had never bothered to tell
Mike about her birthday because stuff like that had no meaning for her.
However, he knew the date because it was on both her California state ID
and her student ID and there were plenty of times she had left her ID�s
on the spare desk in his room.
Mike was not romantic, nor was he the sort who would risk wasting his
money on something Ruthie wouldn�t like. She would never have to worry
about him buying her lingerie or any other gifts that men typically buy
for their wives or girlfriends that make them roll their eyes. He was
not going to try to guess what she wanted. He simply asked.
Ruthie sat quietly, giving the matter some thought. What did she want
for her birthday? There were two things that she really would have
liked, but she assumed that Mike did not have the money for either. One
would have been a laptop, the other would have been having her summer
tuition paid. There was nothing cheaper that she wanted and she was not
going to ask him to spend his money on something she really didn�t care
about. So what did she want that was within reason?
�Let me think about it. I�m not really sure. I�ll let you know
tomorrow.�
She realized that what she wanted from him was not material item, but an
experience. Hartman�s advice for her to share her sexual fantasies came
back into her thoughts. She knew that she would not be able to
articulate verbally what she wanted him to do, so she decided to write
him a note:
On my birthday, I here is what I want:
1. I want to spend the entire day with my clothes off. I want you to
figure out something so I don�t have to get dressed from the time I get
up until the time I go to bed.
2. I want you to take charge of me. I don�t want to have to think about
anything or make any decisions. I want to do what you tell me. If you
want to tie my hands or blindfold me, that would be OK.
3. I want to go out, so you�ll need to figure out where we can go where
I won�t have to put my clothes on.
4. When we get back, whether it is to the dorm or wherever else you
decide to take me, I want you to punish me. I want you to spank me on my
butt. I want you to give me a very long spanking, and I don�t want you
to be afraid to hit me hard. I�m not sure what�ll happen when you spank
me. If you can get me to cry, that�d be great. I�m not sure if I�ll be
able to cry or not, and if I can�t cry, don�t worry about it. I might
get really turned on by it. I don�t know.
5. When you�re spanking me, I�m probably going to be in my own zone, so
it would be better not to say anything to me. No lectures about me being
a bad girl and needing punishment and no questions about how I feel.
There won�t be a safe-word. If I want you to stop or slow down, I�ll
just tell you.
6. When you�re done spanking me, if I�m crying I will need to be held.
If I�m turned on, then we can have sex. I don�t want to have sex if I�m
crying.
I understand what put in here sounds kind of weird, but you did ask me
what I wanted and I�m telling you.
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Ruthie�s birthday began at 3:00 am. That was the moment Mike touched her
shoulder and told her it was time to get up. The previous night he had
told her to stay in his room so she�d be ready for the day. He told her
to put on her shoes. Having slept naked, she already was not wearing
anything else. He looked outside his door to make sure no one was in the
hallway, patted her bare bottom and told her it was time to go. They
walked out through a side door. Mike knew that an alarm would go off at
the night desk and the Resident Advisor assigned for night duty would
have to investigate, but by the time he got to the door Mike and Ruthie
would be long-gone.
As soon as they were outside, Mike slapped Ruthie on the bottom and took
her hand. They walked along the sidewalk to the parking lot assigned to
the dorms. Ruthie felt the cool foggy morning air on her body and
started to shiver. She put her arms around her chest, but her boyfriend
told her to put her hands down by her sides.
�No covering yourself.�
She was relieved to get into Mike�s car. They drove off in the darkness.
They drove to Santa Cruz before turning inland. By the time the sun came
up, they were driving along an isolated road that led to the back
entrance of a forest park. Mike had carefully researched the route,
making sure they would not have to drive through any towns after it got
light outside. They were still driving along the forested hills after
the sun came up, but by then they were safely away from any towns where
they would have to stop. They came to a very isolated trail-head where
there was only space for three cars. Ruthie could tell that the trail
was rarely used, especially during the week.
When they got out, Mike put some sunscreen on Ruthie�s shoulders and
picked up a fully loaded backpack. With that the couple set off on their
hike. Mike�s intention was to spend several hours hiking on the
difficult trail, go to a lake he had seen on a forest service map, have
lunch there and swim, and then see what his girlfriend wanted to do. If
she was tired and wanted to sleep, that would take up some of the
afternoon. If she was not tired, they�d simply hike a bit further to
another pond; then turn around. Once they were several hundred yards
from the parking lot, Mike took off his clothing as well and stuffed it
in his backpack.
The day was one of the happiest of Ruthie�s life. She enjoyed the
scenery and the feeling of the warm sun on her skin. She had the chance
to observe a lot of geological formations and the couple made many stops
and treks off the trail so Ruthie could look at something that
interested her. The delays and constant stops were a pleasant surprise
for Mike, because he had been worried they might get to the end of the
trail too soon and then have nothing to do. His plan was to return to
the car about an hour before sunset so it would be dark before they got
back on a main road. Going back any earlier than that would be too
risky.
Mike took numerous pictures of his naked girlfriend as she wandered
around the rocks and walked along the trail. She also posed for numerous
pictures; striking just about every position imaginable. Mike smiled and
reflected that she really was �nature�s girl�.
When they got to the lake, they spread out a dorm blanket and had lunch.
Mike then gave Ruthie a lengthy massage. Sure enough, she fell asleep.
He took several pictures of her while sleeping before going into the
water for a swim. She woke up a couple of hours later and swam as well.
She rewarded him by hugging him and massaging his penis until he got
hard. She grabbed her tube of lubricant and lay down on the blanket. He
entered her and thrust as she lay quietly with her eyes closed. By that
time he was used to her quietness while they were having sex. She had
told him that she was enjoying it when he made love to her, but was just
more quiet about it than most women.
When it was time to head back, Mike�s careful planning paid off, because
they made it to his car shortly before sunset. Mike felt that he had to
get dressed before he started driving, but Ruthie was able to enjoy the
ride through the countryside in the nude.
The next stop was a clothing-optional resort that had a restaurant and
hot tubs. Mike had called ahead to make reservations and to make sure
they could get in without being members. They enjoyed a naked dinner,
complete with a small cake for Ruthie�s birthday, and spent time in the
pool and hot tubs. By the time they left the resort it was well after
10:00 pm. They didn�t return to the university until almost midnight. By
that time Mike was dead-tired, but so far he had given Ruthie the
birthday that she had asked for.
Mike knew that the hardest and most dangerous part of the day would be
getting back into his room. He had to somehow get Ruthie past the night
clerk. He gave that some thought and came up with a plan. He gave Ruthie
the key to his room and told her to wait in the bushes near the front
entrance. Then he went inside, walked to the far side of the building,
and propped the exit open. He knew the night clerk would have to close
the door and re-lock it, which would give Ruthie the chance to get past
the reception desk without being seen. There was a chance someone would
see her in the hallway, but that was a risk she�d have to take. Mike
told Ruthie to wait exactly two minutes, and then go in. Her heart
pounding, Ruthie looked at the watch Mike had lent her, and at two
minutes left her hiding spot and ran into the building. The night clerk
was not at the desk. She fumbled with his key, let herself into the main
hallway, and ran to his room. She had to run past several guys
who were sitting on the floor chatting in the hall. They whistled at
her, but did nothing more. Finally Ruthie got to Mike�s room and let
herself in. He showed up a few moments later.
The day had been perfect so far. There was only one thing left to do.
While she waited, he dragged in a small sofa that he borrowed from the
commons area. Her heart pounded as she helped him move the spare bed to
make room for the sofa. Mike then took off his clothes and sat down.
Without saying anything, Ruthie approached him. He reached up to take
her hand and pulled her across his lap.
He massaged her bottom, enjoying the sight and feel of her soft skin
under the palm of his hand. He took his time, because he wanted to enjoy
her body before he began her birthday spanking. She trembled with
anticipation as she waited for the first slap. Finally Mike rested his
hand on her left bottom-cheek and gave her a moderate smack. She jerked
slightly. He hit her again, on the other side. She closed her eyes and
was very quiet.
The spanking started out slowly and softly. He wasn�t sure how hard he
should hit, even though she had told him that she wanted him to hit her
hard. After he had spanked her lightly for a long time, but could tell
that she was growing impatient and wanted him to spank her harder.
Finally he did what she wanted, slapping her bottom with crisp hard
smacks. She snuggled over his lap and steadied herself by holding onto
his shin. Her bottom was turning red, but she gave him no sign
whatsoever she wanted him to stop.
Finally Mike set aside his reservations and slapped her very hard. He
paced himself, giving her a hard smack every 10 seconds. He started
rubbing her swelling bottom between slaps. She closed her eyes and her
breathing changed. She flinched each time he hit her, but it was clear
from her expression that she was enjoying being spanked. He wanted to
ask her if she had enough, but fortunately he avoided that mistake. This
was Ruthie's spanking and Ruthie's experience. It needed to be what she
wanted.
His hand was getting tired and the girl's bottom was deep red when she
surprised him. She moaned from arousal. That was clearly a happy
moan...something Mike had never heard from her before. Out of curiosity
he touched her between the legs, only to discover that she was totally
wet. That was a shock to him, because never had he seen her wet or
aroused. She moaned again and began moving her hips on his lap. There
was no question about it...for the first time since he had known
her...she was having an orgasm. He brushed his fingers between her legs
and spanked her some more. Her breathing changed completely. She moaned
again. His fingers returned to her pussy. He touched her clitoris and
she tilted her body up to make it easier for him. She moaned again as he
explored the most sensitive part of her body. She was rocking back and
forth, rubbing herself.
He pushed her up and told her to get on her hands and knees on his bed.
She obeyed him and waited while he struggled to get a condom on. He
entered her and thrust. She still was tremendously aroused. She climaxed
when he was still inside her.
A few minutes later the two students calmed down and got into Mike�s
bed. She fell asleep and with that her birthday celebration came to an
end. Within a few hours she�d have to get up and go to the student
center to serve coffee.
As he held her in his arms, Mike wondered what to make out of what had
just happened. He understood that Ruthie had been lying to him about her
orgasms. No, during all those times they had previously made love, she
had not been aroused. That crap about her quiet orgasms was total
bullshit. He knew it for a fact, because now he had seen what she was
like when she really was aroused. He didn�t know whether to resent the
fact she had lied to him, or appreciate the fact she was trying to make
him happy while doing something she didn�t like.
Chapter
26
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