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5
Chapter 6 � Nothing to be proud of
Cecilia
was awake as soon as it started to get light outside. She started
breakfast for the household, roused her nephew to force him to get ready
for school, and finally laid out a pressed shirt and suit for Victor
Dukov. Up until late April, most of those tasks had been handled by Mrs.
Dukov. Cecilia took over the household responsibilities shortly after
the cancer diagnosis and had been in complete charge of the house since
May.
As Cecilia pulled a stack of dishes out of the cupboard and started
distributing them around the dining room table, it suddenly occurred to
her that Maria Elena, if she remained in Victor�s house, could take over
most of the housework. The idea made sense, because it would
automatically give the Colombian a place to live and right away make her
a useful member of the household. More importantly, having Maria Elena
take over the chores would free Cecilia to concentrate on her own
responsibilities at the university. She felt that she owed it to the
Dukovs to help out when Mrs. Dukov became sick, but she had no intention
of taking care of the house more than a few weeks. Four months had gone
by and there was no sign that Victor was ready to assume any of the
household responsibilities, or any sign that anyone else was about to
come in and relieve Cecilia. Now, possibly, she had stumbled across a
solution to her problem.
Cecilia woke up Maria Elena and ordered her to join her in the kitchen.
She continued to cook, but told the Colombian to start taking food to
the dining room and to clean the pans. That freed up Cecilia to push her
nephew to get ready for school and to check his homework. She then
checked on Victor, who was close to being ready to go downstairs.
Ordinarily Cecilia would have started making his bed, but she realized
that she could have Maria Elena do that. Yes, she thought to herself,
Prisoner # 101025 is gonna earn her keep from day one.
Once the table was set, the Colombian stood quietly, not sure whether to
sit down or not. Cecilia made sure that Victor, as the head of the
household, was properly seated before Pedro could sit down. Then she
addressed Maria Elena:
�Kneel. Once Victor gives you permission to join us, you�ll need to
thank him and you can take a seat.�
Once Maria Elena and Cecilia sat down and started eating, Cecilia
explained:
�You�ll have to kneel before each meal, �cause you�re a criminal. It�s
not just you; Jason has to do the same thing when he comes over. It�s
not so bad, because Victor is at least letting you sit at his table,
which is a favor in this country. In a lot of households criminals have
to eat in the kitchen because of the shame they�ve brought upon everyone
else. There�s a lot of parents who won�t even allow their kid to sit on
any of their furniture if he�s collared. He has to eat standing up and
kneel if he�s talking to anyone. Victor won�t make you do that unless
he�s pissed at you.�
Cecilia briefly talked to Victor in Danubian to present her idea of
having the detainee permanently stay at the house in exchange for
helping out with the chores. He was much more receptive to the proposal
than Cecilia had anticipated, which meant that the only person she still
had to convince was Kim. If the Spokeswoman agreed, then Cecilia would
simply tell Maria Elena about the arrangement and she would be expected
to comply.
However, as she considered the prisoner�s situation, she decided that
she did at least owe her an explanation. She asked Victor to take Pedro
to the school bus stop while she and the prisoner would remain behind to
clean up from breakfast. Once the kitchen was clean, she ordered Maria
Elena to sit down in the living room so she could braid her hair. Since
properly braiding her companion�s hair would take about 30 minutes,
Cecilia used that opportunity to explain the plan of having her live
with Victor Dukov permanently.
�There�s a couple of things I�m worried about. First of all, I�ve got my
classes, my fianc�, my nephew, and 60 exchange students to deal with,
and I�m not doing any of that very well because I�m having to take care
of Victor. I owe him a lot, but I also have my other responsibilities
and I need some help. Also, because of your language problem, you�d have
to stay here for a couple of months anyway, so I figure we can make that
permanent from the outset. That way you won�t have to worry about where
you�re gonna live, because that�ll be taken care of. So, we�ve got a
solution to several problems. Does that make sense?�
�Yes, Cecilia.�
�Now, you�re not here to relax. You�re here to help me and Victor, and
you�re here to do what I tell you. Eventually you�ll know what needs to
be done, and I�ll expect you to do it automatically. Victor�s OK with
the idea, so the only person I need to talk to is your Spokeswoman. I
don�t know if she has any other ideas about where you should live, but
if I have my way, you�re staying here.�
With that Cecilia told Maria Elena to stand up and look at herself in
the mirror. The prisoner looked very different with her hair tightly
braided. She did not like her appearance at all. Cecilia picked up on
her disapproving expression:
�You�re in Danubia. This is the way women keep their hair. A lot of
those strange looks you got yesterday had nothing to do with the fact
that you were naked or collared, it was because of your hair. Women just
don�t have loose hair in this country. That�s something that actually
they�ve gotten stricter about over the last couple of years, I think
because they don�t like the foreign tourists coming in with their hair
flying all around.�
Cecilia grabbed two large sacks of books and student papers to take to
the university. She handed the heavier one to Maria Elena and the two
women exited the house. They walked several blocks along tree-lined
streets before entering the main campus of the National University.
Because classes had not yet started, the university was largely empty,
with the exception of grounds-keepers and several groups of students who
were exercising.
The prisoner was shocked to see that the majority of the people on
campus were naked. Cecilia explained that exercise was normally done in
the nude, since swimwear and most athletic clothing were prohibited by
law. The students who were running wore shoes and nothing else. As for
the grounds-keepers, most of the older employees were dressed wearing
nothing but knee-pads, aprons, and wide-brim hats, while several
collared criminals working under their direction were as naked as Maria
Elena. This was one weird country: they made such a big deal about
braided hair, but no one cared about public nudity.
Cecilia noticed the gardeners and commented: �This might not be a bad
job for you, working in the garden at the university. It�s right next to
where you live, it would fulfill the work requirements of you being out
in the open, and wouldn�t require much language. I don�t think your
Spokeswoman thought about grounds-keeping as an option. I�ll suggest it
when we see her.�
Maria Elena said nothing, but inwardly cringed. Digging in the dirt with
her hands? Certainly that was beneath her; she wasn�t a peasant,
after-all.
Cecilia led her companion to the exchange program office to drop off the
books. She then told Maria Elena to follow her to a professor�s office
to introduce her and request that she be added to the exchange program�s
Danubian language training group. Cecilia ordered the prisoner to kneel
during the introduction, but then told her to stand up. The professor
and the program coordinator talked briefly before she turned to Maria
Elena:
�OK, you�re in luck. The professor�s gonna add you to the program. To
make sure you�re not totally lost in class this afternoon, right now
he�s gonna give you the basics of Danubian and teach you the alphabet. I
need to meet with some of my students anyway, so I�ll just leave you
here.�
For the next two hours Maria Elena received an intense class in Danubian
language training. The professor grilled her on the alphabet and taught
her some fundamental phrases and questions that she needed to know for
simple survival. She learned numbers and how to say her legal name in
Danubian, she learned how to ask for permission for basic needs such as
going to the bathroom, and she learned greetings appropriate for a
criminal. Finally the instructor gave her a study guide from the class
and ordered her to review it until Cecilia returned.
Twenty-four hours had passed since Maria Elena had been arrested, but
already her new life was beginning to take shape. She had a place to
live, she knew what her legal situation would be, and she had learned a
few words and phrases needed to exist in the country that held her
captive. She understood that there would be no transition for her. She
already was considered a criminal and as such, had her established place
in Danubian society. No one considered her as Maria Elena
Rodriguez-Torres, the Colombian detainee. To the Danubians she was
Prisoner # 101025, property of the Danubian Republic. The people around
her would assist her as much as they could, but only to help her
understand and assume her duties as a criminal. No one was interested in
helping her regain her freedom or return to her old life.
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Three
hours after she departed, Cecilia Sanchez returned to pick up her
prisoner and escort her downtown to the Central Police Station. Cecilia
explained that within a few days Maria Elena would be expected to make
the trip by herself, pointing out which trolley routes she needed to
know to travel downtown and to return to the university:
�Downtown�s pretty hard to miss. It�s got a huge wall around it and if
you get lost; just look for the cathedral.�
Maria Elena noticed that with her hair properly braided, she did indeed
draw less attention than she did the previous day. Of course, most of
the men at least noticed her, but their glances were not much more than
she got in Pereira when she wore her favorite mini-skirt. On interesting
difference was that the men who looked at her were much better behaved
than many of the younger men in her home country. There were no remarks,
whistles, or cat-calls, because the Danubians considered such behavior
dishonorable. The men were free to look, but whatever thoughts they had
about the naked prisoner they kept to themselves.
When Cecilia escorted Maria Elena to Kim�s office, Criminal # 98946 was
waiting in the reception area to let them in. The Spokeswoman invited
her assistant and her two guests to have tea with her in the back
office. Cecilia reminded Maria Elena that it ultimately was Kim who was
her mentor and it was with Kim that she would have to work out the
details of her future life as a criminal.
Cecilia conversed with the Spokeswoman in English, explaining her idea
of having Maria Elena stay with Victor Dukov permanently and possibly
request work at the university as a groundskeeper. Kim seemed satisfied
that her prisoner already had received her first class in Danubian. She
asked what Maria Elena thought of Victor. When Maria Elena answered
honestly that she wasn�t sure what she thought of him, Kim responded:
�Did you know that I used to work for him?�
�Yes, Spokeswoman Lee-Dolkivna, he told me last night. He also said that
you were one of his favorite employees.�
Kim turned her head slightly. She tapped her neck and glanced at
Cecilia, who shook her head.
�Did you know that when I worked for him, I was a criminal?�
When Maria Elena heard the translation, she wasn�t sure she had
understood correctly. Spokeswoman Kimberly Lee-Dolkivna� a criminal?
The Spokeswoman called her attention to a tapestry hanging on the wall
behind her desk. She took it down, revealing several objects from her
own past. There was a brightly-colored t-shirt with a marijuana leaf on
the front, a criminal�s collar with a broken latch, and a small picture
of herself with the following inscription:
�Z�k nom. 98945 - Kimberly Lee � USA�
Maria Elena studied the mug-shot. The image must have been taken about
seven years before, when Kimberly Lee was only 18 years old. Her hair
was very short and her expression reflected pure terror and
bewilderment, a total contrast with how she currently looked, sitting
confidently at her desk.
�For two years, my name was Criminal # 98945. I served a two-year
sentence for smoking marijuana behind the Temple of the Ancients. For
two years I wore this collar you see hanging on my wall and I wore
nothing else. Do you understand what I�m saying?�
�I� y� yes� Spokeswoman Lee-Dolkivna� I understand��
I am telling you this, because I want you to understand that I had to
endure some of what you will have to endure. You have no right to assume
that I really don�t know what you are going through, because I was there
myself. Seven years ago, I sat in that same chair where you�re sitting,
the very same chair. Just like you, I sat naked on a towel, because as a
prisoner I was forbidden to wear clothing. And just like you, I went on
trial and was punished. I know how you feel right now, because
everything you are feeling I felt myself. Do you understand me?�
After listening to Cecilia�s translation, Maria Elena managed to
respond:
�D�c-doc, Advodk�tna Lee-Dolkivna.�
�When I told you yesterday that the Path of my Life was to serve as your
custodian and your mentor, I actually meant that. I have a Path in Life,
which was laid out by the Creator before I ever set foot in Danubia.
That is why I was arrested and that is why I served a two-year sentence.
You will understand that you too, have a Path in Life, a path that
brought us together.�
Maria Elena face was blank, because she had no clue how she should
respond. The Spokeswoman continued:
�I am telling you this, because I don�t want you to assume your life has
ended just because you were arrested. It hasn�t. Your life has changed,
but it hasn�t ended. Nor has your life been suspended. You will lead
your life day by day, and your duty to the Creator, to everyone around
you, and to yourself, is to make the best out of it. And those words are
not mine. They were from my own Spokesman, something he told me the
second day of my sentence.�
Maria Elena was silent. Finally she was able to respond with a question:
�So� Spokeswoman Lee-Dolkivna� I was wondering� what�s gonna happen to
me? My life� the one you�re talking about� what is my life gonna be
like?�
�You�re screwed legally, and I�m telling you that up front. You�ll
probably be wearing a collar for 55 years, like the arraignment
committee told you. So, you�ll live out the rest of your life just like
you are now. No clothes, no makeup, no jewelry. No drinking, no drugs.
Your purpose will be to serve society and those around you. You will
lead a demanding life, but you will also always understand what is
expected of you. No one will lie to you, and you won�t lie either,
because you won�t have any reason to lie. At some point you�ll come to
terms with what happened, and when you do, you�ll learn to speak
Danubian, make new friends, and probably fall in love with someone. Then
the years will go by and you�ll get older, just like everyone else. That
will be the Path of your Life, as they say here.�
�The Path of my Life��
�The Path of your Life� you will understand� just like Criminal # 98946�
just like me� just like all of my other clients.�
Maria Elena�s thoughts returned to her conversation with Cecilia, and
the possibility that she might have been double-crossed and murdered had
she completed her trip to Germany. Her mind was full of doubt� was she
extraordinarily lucky, or unlucky? What really awaited her in Frankfurt�
la plata or el plomo?
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The
Spokeswoman did not give her client much time to reflect, because there
still were several issues that she needed to resolve, the most important
of which was making sure she was gainfully employed. Cecilia immediately
brought up the idea of having Maria Elena work as a gardener at the
university.
�Yes, that�s better than anything I was able to think of. The best thing
would�ve been for her to work for Victor, but since she can�t ride a
bicycle, I guess the university is her best option. I�ll call over there
and see if they need anyone.�
Kim picked up the phone while Cecilia told Maria Elena what had been
decided. It was obvious that she was not at all happy with the prospect
of being a gardener. Cecilia responded:
�What�s wrong with being a gardener?�
Maria Elena couldn�t express what she was thinking, but what bothered
her was the idea of ruining her hands. Even two days after being
arrested, her manicured fingernails were intact, the final link to a
former life that allowed her to worry about her appearance. At any other
time in her life she would have dreaded getting her hands dirty, but in
Danubia that fear was even stronger, because it was her last shred of
personal vanity, one that she had hoped to preserve.
�Please� can�t it be anything else?�
�Yes, it can. You can change jobs after you learn to speak Danubian. But
right now you can�t communicate, which limits what you can do. If you
don�t like gardening, then that�ll be an incentive to do well in
language class.�
Maria Elena paused, desperately trying to think of an argument that
would get her out of the gardening job. Meanwhile, Kim put her hand over
the phone�s receiver and asked Cecilia in English:
�What�s the language class schedule for your students?�
�13:00 to 16:00, Monday through Saturday. In the mornings they go out on
city tours.�
�What about P.E.?
�16:30 to 17:30.�
�Do they want her to participate in that?�
�Yes, to be in the language program, she�s gonna have to participate.�
�OK, then I�ll have her work from 9:00 to 12:00. I�ll have to petition
the Ministry to get it approved, because that�s a reduced schedule. I
want her to learn Danubian and, for the moment, that takes priority over
working. Also, you can tell her that if she�s getting a reduced work
schedule, she�d better bust her ass at night for you and Victor. You
tell her I�m doing her a favor.�
Cecilia translated, adding that she wanted Maria Elena to thank her
Spokeswoman. The prisoner did not look happy at all. Cecilia became
irritated:
�What�s your problem? That�s a huge break for you! You�re only gonna
have to work three hours a day! I wish I could work just three hours a
day! Now, you get on your knees and you thank her!�
Reluctantly the Maria Elena did as she was told, repeating a phrase she
had learned that morning:
�Spak�ebo d�k mene.�
Once the prisoner was on her knees with her hands resting on her thighs,
Cecilia realized why she was so reluctant. She had beautifully manicured
fingernails. Obviously that would change the moment Maria Elena�s hands
went into the dirt. Well, that was just too bad, because Danubian women
(even ones that held professional jobs) didn�t let their fingernails
grow out or wear nail polish. One more thing for her to get adjusted to�
Criminal # 98946 stuck her head in the door to let Kim know that the
police had just brought in a new detainee. It was obvious her time with
Prisoner # 101025 had ended, because now she had to deal with her newest
client. As the women exited the back office, they saw a cop standing
over a very depressed young man. He was completely naked and was
kneeling with his hands cuffed behind his back. Unlike Maria Elena,
whose detention had not really been normal, the young man had been
photographed and assigned a criminal number right after being arrested.
After exchanging salutes with Kim, the cop handed over the client�s
paperwork and introduced him as Prisoner # 101048.
Cecilia commented in Spanish:
�We need to go. Kneel and say good-bye.�
Once they had exited the Central Police Station, Cecilia addressed Maria
Elena�s fingernail problem, explaining that painted fingernails were
similar to unbraided hair in Danubia; something foreign and not
considered appropriate. �� in a way it makes sense because, look at
yourself, for example. Here you have this really great work schedule and
all you can think about is ruining your nails. Don�t think I can�t
sympathize with you because I do. You take a look at my pictures before
I came here, and you�ll see I liked bright red lipstick and bright red
nail polish� and they always had to match. I was thinking about that all
the time� but once I came here I had to give it up.�
Cecilia glanced at Maria Elena�s hands:
�You got �em done in Panama?�
�Yes, sort of a last treat before my trip.�
�Well, enjoy them for now, because when we get home tonight you�ll have
to cut �em short. It�s not because you�ll be digging tomorrow, you�d
have to do it anyway. No matter where you�d work, you�d have to cut your
nails.�
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Thirty minutes later Maria Elena was sitting in a class with 15 exchange
program students. Most of them were from the United States, although
there were two Canadians and a guy from Ireland among them. After being
able to forget about being naked in public for several hours, in the
classroom she felt very intimidated because she was the only nude person
in the group. She noticed the guys constantly looking at her, but as
best she could, tried to ignore them.
The professor came to her aid by watching for anyone paying more
attention to the naked Colombian than to his class and calling on that
person. Time after time he tripped up inattentive classmates, until
finally they were able to focus on the fact that they needed to
concentrate on Danubian vocabulary and not on Maria Elena�s body. The
professor avoided calling on Maria Elena the first day, but she knew
that he�d expect her to participate after the newness of her situation
wore off.
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After class the students immediately headed to the gym, while Maria
Elena stayed behind to wait for her translator. When she showed up at
the door, the prisoner was shocked, because Cecilia was completely naked
except for a pair of running shoes. In her hands was another pair of
shoes. It turned out the extra pair of shoes were Maria Elena�s,
borrowed from her seized clothing.
�Exercise time. I need to go out with my group, and you�re coming with
us. Put these on.�
They left the language faculty building to join a group of about 30
women, all of whom were completely naked except for running shoes. A
group of naked young men had gathered about 100 meters away and already
were standing in formation. Maria Elena recognized them as the male
participants of Cecilia�s exchange program. In both high school and at
the university, men and women always exercised in separate groups, to
prevent them from being distracted by members of the opposite sex.
The women were all from Cecilia�s exchange program. Four larger-breasted
women who had obtained medical waivers carried folded sports bras in
their hands. However, they would only be allowed to put on the bras when
the group was ready to start running. During the stretching exercises
and immediately after the run they would have to take them off.
A female Danubian fitness instructor, who was equally naked, was in
charge of the class. She picked up a leather switch and snapped at the
group in Danubian. The women quickly lined up and spaced themselves for
stretching. The instructor used the implement to point at a couple of
students who had not positioned themselves properly within the group.
Very quickly they complied with her commands.
As scary as the scene might have been for someone who had never seen a
fitness class at the National University, it was obvious that Cecilia
and her students were used to what they were doing. Fitness was a
serious matter for all students and participants in the foreign exchange
program were no exception. The students had been informed about fitness
classes during orientation and had to sign waivers upon entering the
program. The instructor kept a sharp eye on everyone in the group, and a
quick swipe of the switch across the bottom or thighs was the penalty
for anyone not putting full effort into her exercising. Nearly everyone
in the class, Cecilia included, had taken a stroke or two at some point.
Maria Elena was included in the fitness group because she would be
attending language classes along with the US students. As long as she
was studying Danubian with the exchange program, she would have to
exercise with the North Americans. Cecilia explained that the newcomer
would be expected to stretch with the group on the first day and perform
some of the more basic exercises, but for the moment was excused from
running. Within a few days she would be expected to run with the others,
once she was completely recovered from her experience at the airport.
An hour later Maria Elena joined 30 very exhausted women in the shower.
The women chatted in English, but there was one student from Miami who
spoke some Spanish and was able to communicate with her. She commented
that a couple of the guys in the group also spoke Spanish, one of them
fluently. That was heartening news for the prisoner, the hope that she
might be able to converse with someone besides the bossy Dominican.
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Upon
leaving the shower room, Cecilia told Maria Elena to pick up her study
materials and follow her back to Victor Dukov�s house. They were joined
by Cecilia�s fianc�, who would be accompanying the two women back home.
Later Maria Elena would learn that anytime Cecilia traveled around
Dan�bikt M�skt, she liked having Jason go with her, even if she was
wasting his time. It was not because Cecilia perceived any danger in the
Danubian capitol, or because she wanted to show him off. Instead, she
suffered from real anxiety if she was separated from him for more than a
few hours. Maria Elena later calculated that Cecilia could spend up to
six hours without Jason in her sight: anything more than that made her
nervous and depressed. She didn�t merely love him: her feelings towards
him came much closer to a desperate need for him.
That night, however, Cecilia was not wasting Jason�s time. The couple
would be going out on a date, to a place called the Socrates Club.
Cecilia promised to invite Maria Elena in the future, but informed her
that night she needed to clean the house, cook dinner for Victor and
Pedro, and study Danubian for the next day�s lesson. �After your trial,
you�ll have plenty of time to go to the Socrates Club� you�ll have the
rest of your life to hang out there.�
Cecilia left instructions in the kitchen for dinner: a salad, boiled
potatoes with fried vegetables, and blackberries for dessert. Victor
helped Pedro with his homework while Maria Elena cleaned up from dinner
and straightened the house. She laid out the clothing that Victor would
wear the next day and changed his sheets. Finally she managed to take a
bath.
After that she sat down to do something she hadn�t done in three years�
study. She had dropped out of school at age 16, missing graduation by
only one year. A wasted opportunity, just one out of several chances in
life she had passed up. At first it was hard for her to concentrate, but
suddenly a long-lost feeling of hope welled up inside her as she tried
to memorize the guide book given to her by the professor. She now had a
goal for the following day, something that was achievable. She was
determined that, if called on in class, she would give correct answers
and outsmart the norteamericanos.
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Two hours later Maria Elena was too tired to continue studying and was
satisfied that she was adequately prepared for the following day. She
decided to make herself some herbal tea before going to bed. She quietly
slipped by Victor, who was in the living room praying in front of his
wife�s portrait. There was something very sinister about that black
prayer robe� she thought to herself� very medieval� from a different
time�
She pushed that thought aside and quietly boiled a kettle of water. She
poured herself a cup and proceeded to take it upstairs when she noticed
Victor just standing in front of that picture. In a flash she realized
she had a very good opportunity to ingratiate herself with him, by
offering him a cup of tea. She took the cup originally intended for
herself and walked up to him. She lightly tapped the spoon against the
cup to avoid startling him. As soon as she was close to him, she knelt,
and without saying anything, offered him the tea.
It was a small gesture, but it had a huge effect on Victor. With
trembling hands he took the cup. Then he held out a hand to help Maria
Elena rise to her feet. His eyes were full of tears. He pointed at the
picture:
�Min�k j�nokt. On�kt nad Jun� mortk d�k.�
He took a sip from the cup. After a long pause he spoke again:
�Spak�ebo d�k. Spak�ebo.�
Maria Elena was able to ask him one question, something she had learned
that afternoon in class. She knew how to ask if he would be alright:
�Ved b�dkt doc-doc d�k?�
He nodded. �D�c-doc� d�c-doc��
However his expression told her something very different. It was clear
that he wasn�t going to be alright. She tried to give him a sympathetic
look. He drew a deep breath, wanting to tell her that he deeply
appreciated her effort at condolence, but also knowing that she would
not understand what he was trying to say. He drank the rest of the tea
and handed back the cup.
Finally he touched her hand and repeated:
�Spak�ebo d�k.�
�Doc.�
With that Maria Elena figured she was dismissed and returned to the
kitchen to clean the cup and put it away. When she re-entered the living
room, Victor already was gone. She decided that she too, needed to go to
bed. She brushed her teeth and noticed her fingernails. With deep regret
she searched among Cecilia�s items in the bathroom and found a
fingernail clipper. She held the device to the first nail, took a deep
breath, and clamped down. She clipped as quickly as she could, but could
not prevent tears from welling up in her eyes as she contemplated her
ruined nails.
Maria Elena looked at herself in the mirror: her uncovered body, that
horrid collar, her face without any makeup, her ears devoid of earrings,
and those weird braids. It was surreal and terrifying to think that the
image in the mirror was what she had become. On the inside she didn�t
feel like what she saw in the reflection, but she knew that it was only
a matter of time before what she was on the inside would match the image
she saw in the mirror.
She heard a question in her mind, from a voice that was as clear as if
it had come from someone standing next to her:
�Is becoming different really so bad, Maria Elena? Can you tell me that
you actually liked who you used to be? Is there anything you�ve ever
done with your life that you can say you�re proud of?�
She turned around with a start, but there was no one in sight. Even so,
she could feel the presence� of something� or someone� and it was enough
for her to answer out loud:
�No, nothing to be proud of� nothing� absolutely nothing��
She returned to her room and lay awake on top of her sheet for a few
minutes, but finally forced herself to go to sleep.
Chapter 7
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