Lately
by
Tendal
Braxis
lately
i allow myself
too
much
love
too strongly
and
with abiding passion
and
i know all too well
that
nobody wants to be loved obsessively
we
all want what we can't have,
and
don't want what we can�
right?
so
why do I have to love you?
it's
not as if you've done anything for me lately
or
as if i feel especially
good
about myself when i'm with you
so
i need you because why?
it
is sort of like you are a life preserver
or
something
i'm
not whole without you
is
this why i fear
losing
you
and
waste my time wanting what i can't have
and
feeling like the hero of one of those ridiculous
romance
novels?
my
name ought to be Lance or Chas
and
you ought to show up at my door one night
wrapped
in chains
and
declare your undying love for me
but
life isn't a novel
not
as if i hadn't realized that long ago
but
i never gave up hope.
even
now i still hope��� kind of
i
tell myself why bother?
but
then i think;
what
if it is true what they say and you only get one chance
and
what if you're my one chance
pretty
pathetic at 49
but
possible
so
what if you're my only chance
for
love
but
i'm not yours?
so
what then
am
i basically just screwed?
it
hurts to love so much
i
push it to the back of my heart
the
only way to deal without exploding
into
a million tiny pieces
you're
in my heart
you're
also in my soul
and
try as i might, i can't exorcise you;
funny,
i never thought of you as a demon before
but
maybe that's appropriate.
my
own personal demon
funny
picture, you with horns and a forked tail
love
is a grand and glorious thing
yeah
whatever
anyone
who believes that for a second is naive
or
else lucky