My
name is Jason Smith. When I was 29 I had a job in a call center for a
bank in Philadelphia, a job I found boring and frustrating. My personal
life wasn't much better. Most of my college friends had drifted away,
and my girlfriend had left me the year before.
I got badly depressed, and so I went to a doctor. She prescribed
Zoloft. Up to that point I had led a normal if uninspired life. But I
got a side effect that was not anywhere on the long list that came with
the package. I had a strange assortment of thoughts come into my mind.
One morning as I woke I dimly experienced thoughts from the point of
view of a woman. The thoughts idly drifted. I was working as a drug
store cashier, and had thoughts of the boss, and then some mundane
things about how to be a cashier. Dimmer memories of brothers and
sisters and parents flitted about. There were memories of going to a
bar recently, some drinks, being propositioned by a guy and inviting
him up to my apartment. It had been the uninspired fulfillment of an
urge. It had left an empty feeling along with a mild hangover.
This was not my life, and it was hard to believe it was a
hallucination. There were thoughts that I could never have made up
myself: details of makeup and clothing, and especially what it was like
to experience sex as a woman.
I got a man's thoughts about mild discomfort in various places in his
body and the content of recent TV shows, the newspaper, a daily walk,
and an elderly woman companion. I got similar thoughts from an elderly
woman, evidently the man's companion. Those were not my life either.
This turmoil in my mind was upsetting. Yet with just a little effort I
found I could shut out those thoughts and go on with my day. That
evening as I was trying to fall asleep I got similar thoughts from the
same three people. I was afraid the young woman's thoughts would keep
me up forever, but her mind naturally quieted when she fell asleep.
We work in cubicles, and hear the conversations around us if we don't
block them out mentally. In an idle moment I heard the woman Sally in
the next cube describing what kinds of savings accounts were available.
Before I heard her say anything, I had the mundane thought to give the
minimum balances required for the accounts, and an instant later I
heard her give the balances. I didn't hear the customer's voice, but I
did get the thought of annoyance that this customer wasn't very bright.
I was aware that my innards hurt and I could feel fluid in, in -- my
vagina? And that I had better change my pad soon. But the customer had
to be dealt with.
My own next call required my concentration, but I occasionally tuned in
to this other set of thoughts, including Sally suppressing her
irritation while explaining things over and over, then saying that the
customer could call back any time when she had thought about it some
more. I in the role of Sally clicked the "not available" button before
hanging up, and then as she headed off to the ladies' room the thoughts
dimmed and vanished.
I as Jason took my next call and was concentrating on it when a thought
popped into my head almost as if someone was calling my name. Sally,
returning from the ladies' room, was noting that I (Jason) had a decent
body but was a wimpy loser. Gee thanks, Sally. Not that she appealed to
me either.
This really seemed like mind reading. There was no mistaking that I was
getting Sally's thoughts. The cashier and the older couple were the
people living in the other units in my triple-decker.
I thought about telling my doctor, but reconsidered. What would the
doctor do if a patient told him he was reading people's minds? I didn't
want to go to a mental hospital.
When I was up at the full dose of Zoloft, I don't know if I was really
any less depressed, but my life had suddenly gotten much richer and
more interesting.
If I didn't focus my mind I could get a cacophony of thoughts. I could
get an assortment of thoughts from a dozen people near me in the call
center. Frank's cocaine habit and cocaine-addicted girlfriend. Julia's
prayers and bible study, loneliness and the struggle to think of that
loneliness as God's will. Fat Martha's TV shows, desserts and chaotic
attempts to regulate food, and having the hots for ... me! Well thanks
for the compliment, Martha. At some level she knew that as a fat woman
of nondescript personality and intelligence, a wimpy loser like me was
as high as she should fantasize.
I experienced Bill's life full of TV sports, sports pages, and fantasy
football. Wendy, the oldest of us: Ouch! Hatred of her husband barely
concealed, dating back years in an icy relationship. Negativity was
gnarled layers deep. But if I put her out of my mind, her thoughts
went. That was a relief.
I drifted into the head of the supervisor Mark, married with two small
children, and got the sense of chaos around the house. He had recently
had drinks after work with my coworker Stacy leading to sex in her
apartment. From Stacy I found she had mixed feelings about Mark. She
didn't want to get involved with a married man, but she saw him as a
successful and decent man picked on by a demanding wife, and a man who
cared about Stacy and was coming to love her.
Back to Mark, I could have told Stacy she was wrong. Mark's thoughts
about Stacy began and ended with screwing her hot body. From what I had
seen it was an alluring body, and through Mark's eyes I saw it naked
and remembered with relish Stacy's uninhibited lust. Encouraged by that
juicy thought I wondered if I was in Stacy's mind anywhere? Nope. Just
a piece of furniture whose name she knew enough to say Hi to.
All the thoughts of all the people around me were way too much, but I
could focus on them in different ways. I could zoom in on any
particular person by thinking about them. But if I was interested in
strong feelings I could get those quickly (the winner was Wendy's
hatred). Physical discomfort? Sally's cramps were pretty bad.
Happiness? Stacy: Male interest from every quarter, good sex with Mark,
happy times with sisters and mother, a life of opportunity ahead.
I could read thoughts out on the street too. The full range of human
thought: working out, make-up, porn, cancer, babies, lottery tickets,
mother ambivalence, unpaid bills. Food, constipation, sore feet, bad
backs. Sex fulfilled, sex frustrated, sex newly discovered, sexual
desire suppressed, lots of cases of sexual urge diminished to the
undetectable. Lots of quiet desperation.
It took me several days to adjust to all these thoughts.
It took much longer to learn to use the information I got from
mind-reading judiciously. Once my boss came by my cubicle to ask me
what days I was available to go to lunch with the group and I said "any
day except Thursday" before he had even asked the question. I got out
of that one my claiming I had overheard him asking someone else.
The potential for disaster was lurking. I had to keep track of what I
had learned from mind-reading and what I knew from my ordinary senses
and not reveal information contaminated by mind-reading unless I had an
excuse for how I could have found out through some other means. It was
like living a big lie, and it was tiring.
In anonymous places I could pull it off, even if it was reckless. A
high school boy and girl were chatting on the bus. They were both good
kids, neither all that attractive to the ordinary person, but they both
thought the other looked OK. She was hoping he would ask for her
number, and while part of him was dying to ask her, he wasn't going to.
She was going to get off in a couple blocks and he would never see her
again. I got up my reckless courage and simply said to him,
"215-555-0505. Trust me, you both want to meet again." They both looked
embarrassed and stunned. As she didn't correct the number, he worked
hard to commit it to memory. Fortunately I could get off at the next
stop and escape their bewildered stares.
A visitor was feeling confused and needed to know where the 107 bus
left from. I stopped to ask him for directions. "Say, do you know where
the 109 leaves from? There's a stop for the 107 down there, just two
blocks away, but I can't find the stop for the 109."
And so it went, giving out information when I could pull it off and
without drawing attention to myself.
I began wondering if I could put my gift to good use for my own benefit.
I hated my job. Could I use this power to make money? How about playing
poker? It worked easily enough. At first I came across as phenomenally
lucky, then realized that was no good. I had to lose some of the time
too. Still I was hauling in the dough, and these people really didn't
like to lose to me day after day. I got scared and quit.
I wondered if sales could be good, since I could know what the
potential buyer was thinking. To try the idea out on a small scale I
went door to door for the Heart Association on weekends. All I had to
do was walk down the street and read the thoughts of the people in the
houses. I never wasted time ringing a bell when no one was going to
answer. I never wasted time on people who weren't interested or would
never give to someone going door to door. Every twenty houses or so, I
would sense the right kind of person: lonely, not worried about money,
and up for a conversation. Knowing just that, I could count on a
positive reaction. I could start on my spiel and refine it based on
what worked and what didn't. I wouldn't spend long if I was going to
get at most $10. I would talk at length and listen with great interest
if I might get $200 or $2,000. I pulled in those checks. It was good
supplemental income, but it wasn't enough to let me quit my job. I
aroused suspicion at the Heart Association when I came in with five
times as much money as anyone else, so I decided to cut back. I took a
break in the middle of my shift to read the paper.
I will never forget the first time I sensed intense, raw sexual hunger.
Janice had been married for a couple years, and for the first couple
years her strong libidinal desires had been fulfilled almost daily. But
a year ago in the wake of a few minor tensions her husband had started
having trouble getting it up. Her reaction had been one of open
frustration and disappointment, which she realized now had been the
wrong approach. It had made him more nervous and made his problem
worse, and for the past couple months he wouldn't even try. Yet she was
sleeping next to his sexy body every night and getting nothing. She had
tried masturbating, but it left her feeling lonely and worse than
before.
She had lost her job nine months before, and had grown weary of looking
for work. She was unmotivated because she could earn a small fraction
of what her husband made and they didn't need the extra income. She had
trouble finding things to interest her during the day.
I knew she wasn't one who would ordinarily give money to the Heart
Association, but she was lonely and I was intrigued. When she opened
the door I observed with my own eyes that she was of medium height,
with curly brown hair and wide-set brown eyes. She had the girlish body
type I find especially appealing, with small breasts and hips.
I was blown away by the surge of lust she felt when she saw me. Her
hunger meant her standards were pretty low, I reflected later, but it
was still exciting to be wanted so badly. I could feel her awareness of
the little surge of blood to her vulva, feel her sense her vagina
deepen just a little. I started on my spiel, and could tell quickly
that she was bored. However, she would listen politely and give me some
money and fantasize that somehow she could get me into bed. I took her
pledge while thinking about it. I wanted her, and she certainly wanted
me. I had never been involved with a married woman before. Of greater
interest was how sex would be different when I could read my partner's
mind.
I was wimpy enough, as Sally had accurately observed, that I didn't
take many risks with women because I feared getting rejected. I had
realized that with mind-reading, I would never have to worry about
that. If the answer would be No, I wouldn't ask. The downside was that
I would know what women really thought about me, unadorned by
politeness. Sometimes those thoughts hurt.
But this woman wanted me and would not say No. It was a Saturday and
her husband was away on business through Tuesday. There were no
hesitations from her end. She felt that if her husband couldn't satisfy
her sexually it was her right to get it elsewhere.
She thought about contraception. She had a diaphragm and condoms, but
she was feeling reckless and didn't want to use them. She figured she
would get an abortion if she needed one. I found in her past no STDs
and no fear of her husband's past infidelity, so I decided I was fine
with that too.
I approached her slowly, gently drew her to me, and raised her chin for
a kiss. The excitement from her was tremendous. She kissed me eagerly.
I started to gently put my hand on her butt, but could sense that that
had bad associations for her, so I moved it up to her back. Her fantasy
was being naked on her bed, legs spread wide, with me naked above her,
guiding my penis into her.
I gently started walking in the direction of the bedroom, and she
walked ahead to lead me. She started on my shirt buttons, but I could
tell she would be just as happy if we could both instantly get naked.
I tried something I had a hunch would go over well. I spoke the first
word that had passed between us since she gave me her check. "Strip."
It thrilled her and she instantly complied. A bit of fear whizzed
through her mind as to whether I would be happy with her body, but it
was minor.
I also stripped quickly, revealing a full erection, which she noted
with a little pang of heightened desire.
She threw all the covers off the bed and sat on it. Then she tugged
gently on my hand. Her next thought was fairly complicated. She really
just wished I would get inside her as fast as possible, but since I
couldn't know she would want that it would be inconsiderate of me to do
so, which then would turn her off. And she would feel embarrassed just
asking for it.
With instant mount-and-penetrate off the table, what she wanted instead
wasn't clear, but many things would be acceptable. I gently pushed her
onto her back and straddled her. First I smoothed her hair and stroked
her cheek, which she liked a lot. I then kissed and gently sucked one
nipple, then the other. This also got a very positive reaction. She was
burning with lust at an animal level.
Her vagina was so hungry for attention it was almost itching. So I
raised myself up above her and looked at her full, perfect, young
woman's vulva. No spreading of labia was required. I gently pushed in,
and felt two things at once. I felt directly the incredible pleasure of
her hot silky texture on my penis, but also indirectly her excitement
at having a large hard penis fill her up.
She wanted me to let myself down on her, grab her behind the shoulders,
and fuck as hard as I could. I did. She came within seconds. I took my
time because I wanted to prolong the enjoyment and could sense she was
fine with that too. My hunger and excitement built until I shot her
full of my sperm, and the pleasure was amazingly intense. My body
hadn't had sex with a woman in a year, and it reacted with extra
pleasure. I sensed that if I kept going just a few more seconds she
thought she would come again -- and she was right.
I pulled out and lay beside her. I began to feel from her a wave of
remorse and guilt at cheating on her husband, but she pushed the
thought away. She also was amazed at my skill as a lover. I seemed to
know just what she wanted. She was right, of course.
My penis began rising on its own within a couple minutes, and I felt
her remorse give way to lust. She had sinned, but doing it once more
wouldn't make the sin any worse. Her dream now was doing it doggy
style, but she didn't want to let me know that because she was
embarrassed about it. The idea was thrilling to me.
It occurred to me that if I just told her I wanted to do it from the
rear then my coincidentally wanting just what she wanted might scare
her. So I was indirect, and asked if she liked any other positions. She
was still embarrassed to mention it, so I said sheepishly that most
women I knew hadn't liked it, but doing it from the rear was a real
thrill to me. She gave a huge smile and promptly got on her hands and
knees. She wanted this to be even faster and rougher than the first
time. I guided myself in and complied. I grabbed her butt and started
humping furiously. I tentatively dug my fingernails into her butt, and
observing she found it thrilling I dug them in a bit tighter.
As I strained inward I could sense her minor pain as my penis bumped
the end, but I could also sense that she liked that pain, and she
started on a massive orgasm. I exploded too, being sure to press in
extra deep as I came to give her a little extra jolt of pain to spice
up the orgasm.
We had said hardly anything. After catching my breath, I decided I had
had enough and wanted to leave. She wouldn't mind, as the guilt came
back and she thought about how she would want to wash at least the
sheet, maybe the pad underneath as well.
The idea of leaving her husband for me whizzed through her head, though
she dismissed it. I could tell I wasn't successful enough for her, and
that made me uninterested in her as a permanent mate too. It was
amazing how I could instantly determine what might take ordinary people
a dozen dates to find out.
I knew I wanted to come back for sex and could tell she wanted that
too. She wanted to ask for my email, and after brief consideration gave
an unmistakable hint. I just smiled and said I might be back. In that
moment, as I retained control over our future together, her yearning
for me increased.
As the months passed I drove by, sometimes finding her thinking of
other things, sometimes having her period, sometimes desperate to
reconnect with her husband.
But other times she wanted sex badly, and those were the days I stopped
in. I sensed once that she had discovered she was pregnant, and had
found it harder to actually get the abortion than she had expected.
After consideration of the alternates she had gone ahead. Her thoughts
on the subject got me thinking too.
I was developing compassion for her, if not love. I had other lovers by
that time, so giving her up wasn't going to be that hard. I came by in
the evening a couple times to read her husband's thoughts, and his
inner turmoil was intense. He was a good man, and he loved her. He
suspected she was having an affair. He himself had had a couple
one-night stands to see if he really could get it up. Once he could,
and once he couldn't. After getting a good feel for him, I printed out
a letter for Janice:
"I can read your mind. If you don't believe me, I know you shoplifted
that perfume when you were in sixth grade even though you never told
anyone. Mind-reading is the main reason I have been a splendid lover
for you. I can also read your husband's mind. You can make your
marriage work. Follow these steps: 1. Tell him you will love him
forever if he never has an erection again (even if it's not true). 2.
Insist on giving him oral sex every time even if his penis stays tiny
-- it will still feel good to him. I know it's not your favorite thing
but he's worth it. 3. I'm afraid he won't use his mouth on you, but
he's still worth it. He will fondle you while you masturbate and be
happy about it, so you can relax. 4. After a month, admit the affair
with me. Grovel. He will forgive you, just don't do it again. 5.
Goodbye.
I wandered by a year later in the evening and could tell from reading
their minds that it had worked.
I thought I ought to be able to use my gift to earn some serious money.
Poker hadn't worked out, and Heart Association canvassing was nice for
a little extra cash, but wasn't going to cut it. I might succeed in
other sales jobs, but they are hard work.
I had a brilliant idea. At the water cooler one day my coworker Bill
mentioned a friend Carl who was in the business world but gave him
stories to look at sometimes. Picking up a bit of Carl's personality
from Bill's mind, I told Bill that I too was an aspiring writer. He
made the connection and offered to put is in touch. When I met Carl for
coffee I asked him for ideas about how a fictional mind-reader could
make big money from his gift. I could sense Carl's mind churning, and
he spun forth some ideas. One seemed especially good.
Peasley Construction bid on government construction projects. That much
I found out from Carl. The rest I found out from hanging around outside
their offices and listening in on their minds. Mr. Peasley was
basically a decent guy, but he was willing to compromise on ethics to
make his business grow -- a remarkably common trait among business
owners, I found later. I said I had a friend who had a method for
predicting how a construction company would arrive at bids. Then I
asked if he had any interest in funding a case study of this man's work
in analyzing his chief competitor Danforth.
Peasley thought he understood. My "friend" was an insider at Danforth.
I asked how $15,000 would be for him to work on a prediction on the
upcoming housing renovation project. Peasley said that sounded just
fine. $5,000 up front and $10,000 if the results were accurate. I made
sure the number I gave Peasley was a little different from the one I
got from the head of the Danforth CEO. But it was close, and it was the
start of a beautiful friendship. I branched out to a couple companies
in other businesses too. $300,000 per year was plenty for me for a few
hours' work each month.
My initial experience with Janice had given me confidence, and after
the first couple times I saw her I decided to try my luck elsewhere.
I got myself a Latte at the Starbucks and read my paper. By then I was
accustomed to the variety of thoughts that go through the minds of a
crowd of people in a city. I shut them out mostly and concentrated on
the thoughts coming from the attractive women. Careers. A lot of
self-consciousness. Was their hair OK? If only they could lose a little
more weight. The guys they were involved with. Memories of groping and
clumsy advances. A few in love, memories of romance and hot sex. Some
having broken up. Some trying to get out of a bad relationship. Some
pining for someone but never seeming to connect.
I started striking up conversations with the ones who were open to sex
with no strings attached. What I could not tell in advance was how they
would react to me personally, and I had a dose of humility as I ended
some conversations as soon as politeness allowed. But there were the
others.
Freya was a little spacey. She was gorgeous but didn't really know it.
She was into meditation and healthy food, finding good energy and good
vibes, and astrology. My line as I approached her was there was
something about her that struck me. Was she a Virgo? Why yes, she was!
This definitely piqued her interest. How did I know? Oh, just a feeling
I had. Would she like to take a walk along the river? Why yes, that
would be great! I could indeed hug her, and wasn't that remarkable that
I commented on the positive energy just as she was feeling it too?
Back at her apartment she offered me tea, but I said the stars were
aligned for something else. I kissed her, and she responded to my body
as well as my spiritual essence. Off went the flannel shirt and
ordinary white bra, the jeans and ordinary white panties, and
underneath it was her gorgeous hot body. She might have flaky New Age
ideas, but her body was entirely real and luscious. I could of course
tell exactly what bits of foreplay were working well.
As I considered just how to approach her, her history of sex was clear
and clean. She liked it in missionary position, and when in harmony
with a guy, she would come just from straight old penis-in-vagina
intercourse. She hadn't been involved with anyone for a while, and
while she wasn't one to think about what she was missing, now that I
was there she was very interested.
I had her hot and wet in no time. She wanted a condom, and I said that
the cosmic vibes were aligned for us doing it skin to skin, and she
went for my spiritual shtick with an extra little thrill. And soon
enough she was on her back and I was above her, then I dove in. Guided
by her feedback, I made her come in about three minutes, a huge
all-consuming orgasm. It distracted me a little, but I then reached
under her to grab both buttocks, then I started growling as I pumped
hard and fast, which she found very exciting. She came again and her
orgasm with mine was an amazing stereo. Total satisfaction. We rested
half an hour, intertwined, and then I was stiff again and she was
aroused. Her vagina was entirely ready, so I pumped her again.
She made a light meal, then we got back into bed. In the morning I was
off. I didn't tell her where to contact me, but said that when the
planet's energy was aligned I would be back. She was disappointed but
accepted it. For a while I was back every couple days, but then other
opportunities took me away and my visits got less frequent. She got
pregnant, something that often happens when a 20-something guy is
constantly coating a 20-something girl's cervix with sperm.
After we found out the tone between us changed. Pregnancy was pulling
her down out of the clouds and she wanted to make me hers. That much I
could have resisted, but the bigger problem was her distress. It just
wasn't fun to be with someone who was desperately trying to find ways
to catch me. It was a negative energy that was entirely real and that I
could sense directly.
I was a little ashamed to recognize my delight at having knocked up
Freya. She named our son Jason, Jr., which was a final sad attempt on
her part to snare me. I would have liked to have some minimal
relationship with him, but her negative energy was going to make that
painful for me. I was reduced to spying on them anonymously. I did
manage to slip her $20,000 pretty often to help out, and she wasn't
above accepting it.
Lindsay was a high school senior, and she was a virgin and just plain
horny. The boy of her dreams had asked her out a couple times and they
had gotten into some heavy petting. But it had been two weeks since he
last called and she was feeling frustrated and very damp between her
legs. I was attractive to her partly because I was an older fellow. She
was nervous but decided to accompany me to a motel room where a little
tender foreplay had her begging to be deflowered.
She thought about the idea of a condom, but the passion of the moment
swept that thought aside. I found my way into her tight, hot vagina,
with only the slightest of hymens to push aside. She wanted me badly,
and was happy when I came inside her, but she didn't really understand
how her own pleasure worked. I took her twice more that night and once
in the morning. By then she was starting to see how sex could feel
good, an insight helped along by the ministrations of my fingers.
I had had enough of her. She was a rather shallow person, but her
vagina was plenty deep, and I had a great time occupying it and filling
it up in line with her primal body desires.
I could tell from her thoughts what she was not putting together -- her
last period had started 14 days before. I asked her to think it
through, and once she worked it out she reluctantly decided to take the
morning-after pill I offered. I hate using condoms, and I was scoring
often enough that I carried a supply with me. My experience with Freya
made me aware that fathering children was not to be undertaken lightly.
One day I was feeling out of sorts. I had misjudged a woman who had
then turned down my advance in a caustic manner. And I had just been
drawn into the thoughts of two different mean and cruel people whose
life stories were entirely depressing.
I came across Sara, a girl of twelve, but a gorgeous young thing. She
was well developed and had had her period for a couple years already.
She had been pretty seriously harassed by a couple boys in the
neighborhood, but was far too embarrassed to tell anybody. I thought I
saw a way to get into her tender young pants and introduce her to the
mysteries.
We were in a fairly deserted area, and no one was paying attention. She
was nervous when I approached her but somewhat relieved when I just
asked for directions. I then took her by the arm and led her behind
some bushes. I had judged correctly that she would have found it far
too embarrassing to scream. But I found no sense of excitement along
with the fear. There was nothing but terror.
I'm sure I couldn't have gotten an erection to carry out my perverted
plan anyway, but I was also seized with compassion and remorse. What
had I been thinking? "I'm so sorry, Sara. If I were a bad guy I could
be raping you right now. Think of me as a guardian angel, and tell your
parents you have been harassed three times and they can't expect you to
walk this way alone any more." I leaned down to kiss her on her
forehead and then I hurried away.
One day I noticed a very attractive woman walking ahead of me on the
sidewalk. Her name was Julie, and I could tell she was partnered with
Julia in a lesbian relationship. I was sufficiently intrigued to follow
her home. I came back that evening to listen in on their bedtime sex. I
had an ample erection listening in on their passionate thoughts. A
woman's body being sexual is naturally a real turn-on, two are better
than one, and when there is no other man involved as competition it is
even better.
A line of thought came over them as they rested in afterglow. They each
fantasized hungrily about an erect penis inside them, as long as they
didn't have to deal with the man behind the sex organ. They both wanted
babies. They wanted to get the babies through that penis rather than
artificial insemination, and the end of their fantasy was that their
babies should have the same father so they would be half-siblings.
This was a job description that I was very interested in!
Of course I had to approach this without revealing my mind-reading. I
followed them to a bench in the park one day, and approached them
nervously:
"This may seem very strange, but I have recently vowed to ask for what
I want in life. I assume you are lesbian lovers." I faltered, but then
gathered my courage and forged ahead: "I think you are both very
attractive, and my dream is to have sex with a pair of lesbians. No
strings attached. This card has my cell and email, so you know how to
reach me. You can laugh at me, but life is too short not to ask for
what you want. I will never trouble you again if you don't contact me."
With that I paused briefly. They both looked very uncomfortable. "Um,
OK, thanks..." said Julie. I walked away.
Stopping outside their apartment that evening I could tell that my
offer was what dominated their thoughts and their conversation. They
were afraid one moment, they were excited the next, and ultimately they
too decided that life was too short not to take a risk for what they
really wanted.
The three of us met at a coffee shop, one thing led to another and
within days I found myself ringing their doorbell.
We all stripped and they saw the penis they craved get hard just
looking at them. They kissed and they massaged each other's labia. I
could tell that usually they would take turns using their tongues, but
with me present they didn't want to. The pre-arranged signal was that
Julie stuck her butt up in the air, and as I approached she held her
labia open. Neither of them was a virgin, both having dated boys before
discovering their true inclinations. I slid into Julie's hot tunnel and
pumped away. Julie was terribly excited to feel a penis inside her, and
while Julia massaged her clitoris she came. As her vagina spasmed I
thrust with abandon and spurted her full of my seed.
Julie and Julia were lesbians, but they also knew that a vagina was
meant to receive a penis. They found their earlier view shifting and
discovered that their interest did not stop at the scrotum but they
actually thrilled at the entire male animal who was filling them up --
as long as there were no strings attached, no domination or obligation.
After fifteen minutes I was ready again and this time I humped Julia
from the rear. They did not care for the intimacy of face-to-face sex
with the male animal; we always did it from the rear. That was entirely
fine with me. We did it every other day or so except during their
periods. Julia got pregnant the first month, and Julie the second. I
was a bit surprised to find that they wanted me more than ever during
their pregnancies. Perhaps despite their lesbianism there remained in
them a primitive desire not to lose the father of their babies. They
both occasionally felt a bit of jealousy that they had to share me with
the other, a feeling they were entirely embarrassed about and did not
express.
Julie gave birth to a daughter and Julia to a son. At that point our
sexual liaisons ended, as the demands of motherhood meant they scarcely
had energy or interest in sex with each other, let alone me.
We stayed in touch. I visited my son and daughter from time to time.
I had always assumed I would get married and have children. In my
exploits I was fathering children where I sensed they would be welcome,
and that gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. I realized I could even spy on
my kids to see how they were doing. But that wasn't what I had meant by
having a family.
I dated women, and it should have been easy. It was easy to rule out
incompatible candidates with the simplest of mind-reading: status
seekers, the dishonest, women with anger and negativity held just below
the surface, damaged souls. Although I am far from perfect, I found it
hard to fall in love with a woman whose imperfections were so
immediately clear to me. But there were others who were good enough.
Sasha was the closest I came. She was attractive if not a bombshell,
smarter than me but not too much so, and basically a good Girl Scout
inside. She didn't have a strong negative reaction to some flaw of
mine, as some of the others had. We got on well. At first I resolved
not to tell her I could read her mind. But I wavered because this was
supposed to be a relationship, a place where I could relax and not have
to keep any secrets, certainly not any that constantly influenced how I
related to her.
Once when we were in bed a dirty joke came to her mind, one that was
too crude for her to tell me but which I found just hilarious. I
couldn't stop laughing and I couldn't explain why. She was naturally
upset.
I tried to bring my mind-reading up as gently as I could. I told her
which number between 1 and 100 she had picked. I told her the essence
of the joke she had been thinking of. One of her first reactions was
betrayal -- how could I let this go on for so long without telling her?
I tried to explain that if I did that no one would date me and if
anyone went public with my secret my life could become miserable.
Next she ran through embarrassing things from her past, and I admitted
I knew all of them as she thought of them. I tried to defuse that by
telling her embarrassing things about me too, but that didn't help much
either. We both knew that I could decide which embarrassing things to
share. I tried to tell her she was special to me in considerable
measure because she had a clean soul. Ultimately she just felt too
naked, too exposed. We broke up.
I had stopped taking Zoloft a few months after I discovered my gift,
and it soon went away. Yet once I had experienced that rich new sense
life felt very dull without it. Going without the Zoloft felt a bit
like volunteering to be deaf. I quickly took the Zoloft again.
After the break-up with Sasha I tried again, thinking that losing that
extra perception would be worth it if I could find someone to marry.
But this time the gift remained. I could read minds whether I was
taking the drug or not.
If the cost of a relationship was keeping a big secret and never
slipping up, then an endless string of exciting sexual encounters was
more appealing.
Walking down the street, a set of thoughts stood out. A man I passed
was planning a bank robbery. He was the mastermind of a string of bank
robberies I had read about. I got from this man's mind where he lived
and went by there every couple days until I picked up the thought of
what bank was next and when it would be hit.
I then went to the police and gave them the tip. They staked out the
bank and caught the robbers. I felt good about what I had done and was
expecting praise. Instead, I got arrested. On questioning, I panicked
and in my defense started revealing confidential information I got from
inside the officers' heads.
I got a lawyer, who filled me in on what I should have figured out for
myself: the only way I could know about the bank robbery was to be a
mole, and my knowledge of police secrets made me far more dangerous. I
told him I seemed to get lots of lucky hunches. He said that if I was
innocent all I had to do was stop answering questions, and if they
didn't develop any evidence against me then he could get them to let me
go. That worked, but I was royally pissed. Even after they let me go I
was followed sometimes. After a while I ended up in the large police
file of puzzling loose ends and they left me alone.
For good measure I decided to change my identity. Identity theft is
trivial when you can read people's minds. I stole the identity of a
mildly paranoid man would lived off of money he had hidden in his
mattress. He didn't need an identity, so I took it.
Walking down the street one day I picked up some twisted, sick
thoughts. The man was thinking back on the two prostitutes he had
murdered in the past year, and how neither of the prostitutes he had
engaged in the last week had been the right kind for murdering. He was
going to try again. I wanted to stop him, but how? Going to the police
had not served me well in the case of the bank robber.
I did a lot of thinking. There was the simple approach: kill him. I
never thought of myself as a killer. But when I could sense such
sickness in a man's thoughts I found I could get used to the idea. With
mind-reading I certainly was in no danger of shooting the wrong man. So
I stole a gun from where some gang member had stashed it in the ceiling
of the men's room of a fast-food place. I tracked my prostitute-killer
down late at night as he was coming back to his place. I checked the
neighborhood for looking-out-the-window thoughts and for thoughts about
him or me. Finding none, I shot him. Once in the chest and once in the
head after he had fallen. It was horrible in a way to see him die, but
also thrilling. My escape was nerve-wracking, since I didn't quite
trust that my mind-reading would protect me.
End of serial murderer. I knew enough evidence existed in his apartment
to link him to the murders. Families could get closure, a police file
could be closed, and the city would breathe easier.
Wife-beating and intimidation is all too common, and I sensed cases far
too often. I intervened when I could. That involved passing a tip to
the neighbors or police while hiding my identity.
But once I found a twisted man, beating and terrorizing his wife just
as his father had beaten and terrorized his mother. But his wife's soul
was too far gone to heal. She was also poor, and losing her man would
leave her destitute. I had to leave that one alone. Reading minds could
be a heartbreaking business.
I went to visit Julie and Julia and the kids yesterday. They decided I
shouldn't come by so often. They are afraid I'll start taking a real
parental interest in the kids, and they didn't want a third parent
involved. It makes sense.
I hooked up with Linda that afternoon. She is a sweet thirty-year-old
blond who was hungry for some sex. I knew she wouldn't want to see me
again, but I was fine with that.
Last night I spent with Gail, a woman of 36. She feels her biological
clock ticking, and is focused on getting married and starting a family.
I might qualify as marriage material from her point of view, but I am
not interested. Even if the mind-reading were not a problem, she is
going to insist on dominating in any relationship. But the sex itself
is enough of a reward for her; I am as always a very sensitive lover.
We had a lovely dinner and walk, followed by a night of passion. She
cooked me a fine omelette in the morning. She continues her search on
match.com and eHarmony.
I am a womanizing Robin Hood with a comfortable income and lots of free
time. It's not a bad life.