Sleepy Insomniac

Catch Up

Chapter 2

Tyler tried to forget Callie. He couldn't remember how many weeks it had been since he "spoke" with her in that truly bizarre encounter on the Internet. Tyler also didn't wish to blow her off (among other things), but it was, in his eyes, the right thing to do. Besides the fact that flirting with his cousin was so, so wrong in the eyes of so, so many, stalking her and masturbating to her pictures on an online social network was downright creepy. This wasn't some girl he had met at a shitty bar; Callie was family. Even though Tyler was never one for expressing his feelings towards his family, he knew what her relation to him meant without even knowing her that well. He loved her because she was family and he always would on some level. So Tyler, being the responsible, moral being that he was, did the most sensible thing given his situation. He blocked her online account and would never speak to her again.

Life following Callie's exodus was rough for Tyler, as rough as a spoiled college business major in the U.S. could be, anyway. Papers, professors that didn't give a damn, tests, hot girls dressing like hot girls during lectures about dataflow management in medium sized paradigms (not that Tyler minded...the hot girls, not dataflow management), meal plans, fratties and sorostitutes, papers, that "guitar guy", hipsters, Wednesday outdoor movie night, Rock Band (sigh...), campus security, and more papers.

Despite the smiles, pranks, and so-called "fun" many of his peers were having, Tyler did not fit in with the rest. It wasn't because Tyler was so unlike those he found himself surrounded by; he wished he could be one of those eighteen-to-twenty-somethings showing off their bulky chests, gelled hair and washboard abs. Unbeknownst to those fucktards (Tyler didn't refer to them like this seriously...they could be nice guys for all he knew...but he still fucking hated them), they effortlessly received all attention from the sexiest of female droves that stormed campus everyday. Usually those droves were there to show everything they had while learning nothing for themselves.

The hipsters weren't much better. Having an opinion for the sake of having an opinion never made much sense to Tyler. Tight jeans, asymmetrical haircuts, and laughs so loud they made a point to be "expressive" were just a few of the many things that Tyler didn't care for regarding these particular fucktards (once again, Tyler didn't refer to them like this exclusively...but he still fucking hated them).

Oftentimes, Tyler simply bounced around between groups, his primary posse being an entourage of guys that were A) obviously virgins and B) obviously would be very well-to-do, if not rich, in twenty years time. These guys were the engineers, the computer guys, the chemists, the fucks that made Tyler hate his inadequate brain, but enjoyed their slightly-less judgmental outlook when it came to guys like Tyler that were neither hot, hip, or smart....they were just there.

"Dude, check out this fucking hottie," Bill called away from the table with his laptop to Tyler and two of his other school buddies while hanging out at "The Crash", a common area in the only open dorm on campus. It earned the name "The Crash" as it was where many visiting youngsters crashed, on one of the many available community couches, for the evening. For some reason the lobby was not blocked from the public, merely locked at dusk (though not monitored), and it seemed as good a place as any to keep the roomless stragglers for the night when their friends found some hot action after a night out at the clubs.

"Seriously guys, check this out. She's fucking hot...like, really fucking hot," Bill persisted. Gust, a thin faced, round glasses sporting, scruffy looking squib of a guy, lowered his calc book onto his chest from his laid-back position on his favorite couch. Annoyed would be a good word for his reaction, but countless others would probably serve better. Gust did a sarcastic impersonation of Bill.

"Dude! Check this out! She's fucking hot! I'm gonna jizz! Everywhere! In my eye! She's still fucking hot, even in my jizz-covered eye! I'm gonna jack-off some more! Oh my God!" Gust rambled while mock-jerking-off and flopping his calc book off his chest onto the floor.

"I'm serious...if you guys don't get over here right now, my pants will be down in a matter of seconds and I WILL jack-off right in front of you. In front of everybody. Even in front of that guy back there watching TV and trying to eavesdrop cause he thinks we're cool for some reason," Bill protested while pointing behind him. The guy by the TV, thick-mustached and poorly dressed, calmly and collectedly shut off the TV with the remote, set the remote on the coffee table in front of him, and left the room. Everyone finished watching him leave and Bill immediately started to remove his pants. Tyler, Gust, and the other guy Eury popped up from their stations and crowded around Bill and his laptop to pull his pants up.

"Alright, here she is..." Bill said with a smug smile across his smug face. He clicked a link and BOOM, her picture popped up. By her picture, it wasn't just any picture. This gal was sexy. This gal was dangerous. This gal was someone Tyler wanted in more ways than "that". This gal was Callie.

In all her fully sexual crimson bikini-filled realized virtuosity, Callie (and her beautiful, beautiful breasts) filled Bill's screen. She was attending a fundraising carwash for starving third-world children. And man, was she screaming to be had. In Bill, Gust, Eury's (and Tyler's) minds, they had her. Hard. Hot. And Screaming. Tyler abruptly closed the laptop's lid.

"Dude?!" Eury piped out. Eury usually didn't speak unless he was very upset.

"Tyler, brah, what the fuck?!" Bill agreed while opening the lid.

"Not a big enough penis for you?" Gust countered. "Don't worry, we'll let you have at shitdickstuds.com AFTER we get done ogling this fucking bitch." The guys, except Tyler, leaned in closer to the monitor. Bill's smile grew wider, Gust's eyes grew bigger, and Eury's mouth sagged further. The word - horny - didn't do it justice. Tyler looked away.

"I'd fuck her armpits," Bill said, matter-of-factly.

"I'd fuck her kneecaps," Gust followed, even more matter-of-factly.

"I'd eat her poop," Eury simply stated.

Bill cycled to the next sexy picture with Callie screaming while spraying someone with a water hose off-screen. And the next picture with Callie blocking water from spraying into her mouth. And the next with water streaming down Callie's chest as she adjusted her bra. And the next. And the next. And the next...

Each time, one of the guys, besides Tyler, would make a comment so inappropriate every member of the FCC would die from an instant brain hemorrhage if the expression were ever voiced over live TV. Tyler, meanwhile, merely stayed back, staring off to the side, trying to avoid the very images flourishing with sexual role-play scenarios four feet from him.

"You BETTER not have your penis out back there," Gust commanded, "This silent treatment is starting to creep me out. Is it OK to turn around? Or should I go ahead and prepare for the worst?"

"You're an immature dick, you know that?" Tyler said, fully annoyed voice intact.

"You're right. I still have a softie while you're back there tugging a hardie. Show a little self-control, man," Gust replied, still transfixed on the screen. Tyler, done with the acrimonious retorts, bullied up through the hecklers and awkwardly slammed the laptop shut again.

"OK, that's almost starting to piss me off. Really..." Bill said, fully pissed off. Slapping his hands on the table in front of him, Bill stood tall and faced off with his laptop's attacker. The other guys joined him, more confused than angered, but still irritated nonetheless.

Tyler's stature shrunk a little while his penis hid behind his balls. Conflict was never one of his strong suits, but this time he felt he needed to defend whatever the hell it was he was defending. Callie was only his cousin. She was family, yes, but it was not like she was his delicate younger sister at a time and age in her life that Tyler felt it wrong to have her ogled at by a bunch of horny college compadres. Hell, they were all relatively close to Callie's age when he thought about it. Tyler really wasn't sure why he disliked his friends saying those things about her. All he knew, for sure, like all those other things he knew about and those other things he hated, was that he disliked it a whole fuck of a lot. And it had to stop.

"I just...really, can you guys do me a favor? Quit lookin' at her?" Tyler said in a surprisingly confident tone. The guys' annoyances, united at first, soon vanished and were replaced with looks of curiosity, concern, and revelation.

"Wait, wait...you know her?" Bill asked Tyler, intrigued.

"Sort of..." Tyler answered, really wanting them to drop it.

"She's not dead, is she?" Gust winced.

"No, she's fully alive and functioning," Tyler sighed.

"Oh thank God!" Gust cheered while throwing some fists into the air. By this point, Eury was biting his index finger, smiling, and nearly dancing around. The other guys looked over at him.

"Eury, fuck man, just let it out so you can breath, dog," Bill droned. Eury stopped biting his finger and pointed it at Tyler. A long, dramatic silence followed. Finally, Eury spoke.

"Sister?" Eury asked, smiling. Tyler's eyes started to panic.

"I don't have a sister..."

"Niece?" Eury asked, smile widening.

"Fuck dude, nah, she' ain't-"

"Cousin?" Eury pressed on. Tyler, reluctantly, fell silent.

Bill and Gust turned their heads at the same time. Tyler didn't look at them; he knew what was coming.

The guys spun around and flipped open the laptop. An image of Callie, soaking wet in a thin red bikini during a car wash appeared onto the screen. Bill, Gust and Eury all smiled and spoke in unison.

"Holy...fucking...shit."

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