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Bev, it turned out, had brought everything needed for a Japanese dinner. She cooked, first putting on a clear plastic apron. “To protect my assets,’ she said.
When the dinner was served, Bev slipped her little singlet on before she sat down. They all ate hungrily, then the talk began again. “Sara,’ Bev asked, “where are you staying Wednesday after the movers leave?’
“Oh, I´ll go out and get a room at the airport,’ she replied.
“Why not stay with us…’ said Bev.
“...and save a buck?’ Jerry added.
“Hey, thanks, I´d love that.’
Ralph ventured, “That makes it easy for my idea. Since you´ll be with them on Wednesday, why not come to us for dinner on Tuesday? That´s if Jerry doesn´t mind switching.’
“You´ve cleared this with Helen?’ Ralph had cleared it; Jerry didn´t mind. “Absolutely. Tell me what I should bring, okay? – That means I´ve got Monday and Tuesday to get things organized, turn over my car and stuff. I can pack a bag or two of things to wear until the van gets there, and I´ll be all set.’
“I thought you didn´t wear anything at the club,’ Ralph said.
“Hey, what do I know? Yeah, on the grounds from noon till closing, clothing optional, But I have no idea what we´ll be doing. We may want to drive around and get the lay of the land (Oops!) or go out to dinner or something. We have to buy a car. And, what if it rains all the time?’
“We can stay in bed,’ Steve said, “and I´ll bet we get plenty of company.’
The brandy appeared again, and they all sat about the living room, Bev on the sofa with Steve and Ralph, Sara and Jerry squeezed together in a wide armchair. The talk wandered along, and everyone was feeling each other and being warm and happy.
“You know what,’ Sara finally said, “I want to tell you all something that´s happened to me in the last few months… When I met Steve – what was it, six months ago? – I was going along, generally pretty happy. I had my line-up of guys to sleep with and I thought I had my life pretty well organized. But you know, I wasn´t really happy about it all. I thought there was something wrong with me that I needed to have so many men, needed to get laid so often. Not really serious, you know, but wondering. Then, the first night I went out with Steve, I ended up fucking him and two other guys almost all night. Well, the next day I felt wonderful – until I started to think about it all. Then, I got really upset. I didn´t know how to deal with it.
“What were you upset about?’ Bev asked, “I mean, what were you thinking, exactly?’
“I kept saying to myself, ‘Why am I like this? Why do I need so much sex? Isn´t it wrong?´ No, that´s not really what I was thinking. It was more like, ‘There´s something wrong with me, and this much need for sex is wrong.´’
“And what happened?’ Ralph asked.
“Well, it´s funny. I sort of put the whole thing aside for a while. I´ve fussed about this before, ever since I realized I have to live like this. And then, several things happened. First, Steve kept telling me how much he liked me and wanted to go on seeing me, even though I knew I´d done something most people think is wrong. Then, I met Charity Hoyle, and in addition to teaching me to eat pussy, she told me, ‘Sara, some people have red hair; it´s the way they are. You and I have hot pants. It´s the way we are.’
“After that, I went to the club and spent an absolutely glorious weekend fucking teenagers and adults and guys and girls, and exchanging sex tips with a fourteen-year-old girl who may know more about sex than any of us. I got tons of caresses and hugs that weren´t especially sexual – and a lot that were, and some that I wasn´t interested in. I discovered I loved the first two and I could do without the last, but the whole thing felt right and good.
“By the time I got home, I was so sexually satisfied that I finally sat down in a corner of my mind and thought it over. I´m not alone – I´m not the only constantly horny person in the world, even though we´re not in the majority by a long shot. Sex feels good, and I like it. And when I find people like myself, I can let it all hang out and it´s wonderful.
“I´ve always had this image in my mind of my sexual satisfaction being like a bottle. When the bottle is full, I feel good, don´t have any guilt feelings. I know I´m O.K. When the bottle gets close to empty, I´m a mess. And then I have to do something about it, like get laid by someone I like. Since I´ve had my string of lovers, I can usually keep the bottle pretty full. I count on my weekends with Ralph and Teddy – and on my Tuesdays – to keep things really under control. So, when I got back from the club that day, I realized that my bottle was full to the top. I felt wonderful, and I still do.
“Then, I realized that I love Steve and he loves me. We´re both the same way, and that´s okay. And I found out I can have a great time with Bev and Jerry, and anyone else I love, even if it´s in a different way than the way I love Steve. And I don´t really have to love someone, it´s enough that they´re good people.
“And, then tonight, after spending yesterday with Steve and Ralph and fucking myself blind. And doing it all over again today with all five of us... Oh, and it´s not just fucking, it´s the whole business of what we´ve been doing these last three days – hugging, kissing, touching each other, being comfy together. Loving. In fact, that´s almost as good as the actual sex. Well, almost.
“Anyway, at dinner it sort of hit me.’ Sara paused, her eyes streaming.
“And...’ prompted Steve.
“And I realized what this is. This business of loving all of you, your bodies, your selves – taking you in my arms and in my body. Feeling your touch and your love. This whole thing is Right. It´s right for me, it´s what I need, it´s what I am. And, I love it… And, I love all of you for helping me find it out, and for loving me. And I want to say thanks to all of you.’ There were tears running down Sara´s cheeks. She pulled herself from Jerry´s arms, crossed to the couch and collapsed into Steve´s lap.
“And I´ve got a wonderful man who has the same problem I have and who loves me just the way I am. I can hardly stand it, I´m so happy.’
Bev pulled Sara´s head and shoulders into her lap and kissed her deeply. “Love, we all love you. And, we all hope you never doubt again.’
“Oh, I probably will, now and then, Bev. But the battle is over. I know myself now. And I´ll never forget it and I´ll never forget the people I learned it from.’ Sara reached past Bev´s head to pull Ralph into the embrace, sliding her naked body along the laps of all three. Suddenly, she began to giggle uncontrollably. “This is the most uncomfortable position I´ve ever been in.’ She rolled off onto the floor and stood up.
“There´s a perfectly good bed in there. It may be a little close for five, but that´s where I´m going and that´s where I want all of you.’ Sara grabbed Steve´s hand, pulling him up from the couch. She wound her body around him. “And the first one I want to make love to is you.’
Sara and Steve started toward the bedroom. The others rose to follow, turning out the lights, leaving the remains of the evening behind to be dealt with in the morning.