Tuesday afternoon, when I got back to the room after the English exam, I saw Mary´s panties on the bedroom door. I sat down at my desk and thought about going through the economics notes again. But when I heard Mary laugh, I got up, put on my coat again and left the room.
At the Art School, Siggy, the secretary, recognized me. “Hi, Anne. Are you posing today?”
“No, I´m looking for Will Spector. Would you have any idea where he is?” I grinned at her, “Do you even know who he is?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. He´s one of our stars, you know.” She looked at the clock. “Right now, he´s about finished with a class on the third floor. He´ll have to come past here, why don´t you wait?”
I waited, chatting with Siggy until Will came past with a group of others. He stopped and came over when he saw me.
“Hi, Anne,” he said, and kissed me. I hugged him hard and kissed him back.
“What´s up? You okay?”
“I just wanted to see you, talk to you.” We walked out of the building. “Is there somewhere we can go?”
“My roommate´s away this afternoon. Want to come to my place? Or yours? How was the exam?”
“Yours. Mary´s got someone there. Hung her panties up. Exam was okay, no problem. You have yours today?”
“Uh-huh. Also no problem. This way.”
Will shared with another art student. The room was large, like ours, and there were two easels set up along one wall, the art supplies carefully organized according to two different systems.
I took off my coat; Will hung it on the door with his own. I went to him and put my arms around him, holding him tight for a long time. He kissed my neck, held me and sort of rubbed my back to tell me that whatever it was bothering me, it was going to be all right. Finally, I pulled away and sat down. He sat on another chair.
“So?”
“I guess it´s just a reaction. We worked so hard last weekend and the exam went so easily today, I feel like we´ve really got the secret. But that´s not what´s bothering me.”
“What is bothering you, then?”
“I didn´t realize it until I saw Mary´s panties on the hook this afternoon.” I got up and wandered around the sunny room. When I came to where Will was sitting, I sat on his lap.
“Will, I realized I miss you. I came looking for you because I want to be alone with you today, just the two of us.”
We kissed for a moment or two. Will held me close. After a moment, his hand slipped under my sweater and caressed my back.
“I love to feel your hand on my back. Am I too heavy?”
“No. I feel it, too. It´s wonderful being with you and loving you in the study group, you know. And loving Mary. And watching you both love the others. But I do need some time with you. Like this.”
I stood up and pulled my sweater off. Will got up and put his arm around my waist, guiding me into the bedroom. I undid his belt, and soon we were stretched out on his bed, close and tight, our arms and legs woven together.
“Will?”
“Yes.”
“I know you love Mary, too. And you spend a lot of time with her, out at the stables. Is it all right that I feel so close to you, that I need more with you than just our group fun? I don´t want to do anything that will break up the group.”
“It´s all right, Anne. I do love Mary in a very special way. She is beautiful, and as an artist I love beauty for itself. And, she is wonderful, and having a hard time coming to terms with herself, and I love her for that, too, because she´s trying so hard. I couldn´t choose between you, but you give me something special. You make me feel at home, easy. And I love your searching, too.”
“Oh, Will. Love me.”
When I could talk again, I sat up beside him, running my hands along his ribs and tummy. He put his head in my lap.
“How is Mary having a hard time? I guess I don´t know her as well as I thought.”
“We haven´t talked about it, but I see her love of horses, I see her desire to teach and to learn at the same time. She doesn´t want to be a rancher, but she wants a lot of the things being a rancher implies – freedom, responsibility, risk-taking. She says she wants to become a financial wiz, but she has no idea what she wants to do with it. She really enjoys an unconventional life-style. It makes her really happy to be screwing four guys.”
“It makes me happy, too, Will. I really care for all four of you. But especially you and Saul. I need to think some about Mary. She´s the best friend I´ve ever had, but I wasn´t seeing the things you see.”
“I´ve seen her in more varied settings than you have, maybe that´s it. She´s not unhappy, she´s just trying to deal with things as they come. So far, it´s working well, I think.”
“What about me?”
“You? You´re searching, too. You know you want to do something with people. You don´t know what. It´ll come to you.”
“That´s true. I don´t know. I wish I did. But you know. You know you want to be an artist. You say you want to do commercial art: graphics. But that´s not what you really want. You really want to do the stuff you´ve been doing of me and Mary and the gang. The portraits, the erotica, the horses. Especially the horses.”
“Especially the horses. And the erotica, too. Anne, I have never enjoyed drawing anything so much. I´ve never known people who could enjoy those things so much.”
“You may have to adjust your ideas about making a living from art. It´s early to tell, but I´ll bet you can make a living with your drawings.”
“It´s what I would like. I just have never been able to believe it could happen. I´ve seen so many others who couldn´t.”
I was still touching Will, trailing my fingers on his tummy. He, in turn, caressed my thighs as we talked, touched my breasts.
“Will, you know what we´re doing right now?
“What?”
“We´re making love, just talking.”
“I know.”
I lay down beside him. We moved our bodies face to face, our flesh touching. When he moved to enter me, I pulled back so we could watch our bodies join.
“I love to watch that. It´s beautiful.”
“Anne.”
“Umm?”
“You feel the same way about Saul, too.”
“Do you mind?”
“No. I love him, too, in a way. I´m glad you love him.”
“I love the others, too. Tom and Alex. Just not the same way. I love their bodies, I love screwing them, having them around. But when I needed someone today, I wanted to come to you.”
“Why not Saul?”
“I´ll be going to him, too. I needed you today because you are so sure. You know what you feel about every one of us. Saul´s sure, too, but about different things. You don´t know what´s going to happen with a career, but who does? It´s enough for me that you know what you feel.”
“Know what I feel right now?”
“Yeah. You feel me grabbing you. Come in deeper.”
.oOo.
When I got back to the room, it was almost supper time. Mary was reading her book on riding.
“Hi. Glad to see you. Who was here before?”
“Heard you come in. Heard you leave right away. Everything all right?”
“You mean am I upset you had a lover in there? Heck no. Just wondering who.”
“Alex. I saw him downstairs, asked him up. I hung up my panties because I just wanted him for myself, and ´cause he needed me. You mind?”
“No, ‘course not. Just curious, really”
“Where´d you go?”
“Knowing you were alone with someone made me realize I needed to be alone with someone, too. I went and found Will. He took me to his room. Have you been there?”
“Uh-uh.”
“It was good. I needed him. I feel really relaxed. More sure of myself. We talked about him and me and Saul... How was the exam?”
“Unless I´m badly mistaken, it was a snap. You?”
“Me, too.”
“Anne, don´t be worried about loving Will.”
“Funny way to put it.”
“Well, we have a funny situation. I know you love Will and Saul. We all know it, except maybe Saul. But Tom and Alex know it and they don´t mind. They love what we give them just like we love what they give us.”
“What about you? Who do you love?”
“No one and everyone, I guess. I love Will for his steadiness, his talent. I love his body, and I know he loves me and my body. I don´t mean to sound vain, but he really loves beautiful things. He loves horses, and he thinks I´m beautiful, so he loves me, too.”
“Goes further than that, Mary.”
“I hope so. I´m glad if it does. And, I love Saul, too, but different. I love his powerful body, his self-confidence and his clumsy moments.
“Tom, he´s sort of our fringe guy. He´s not really sure about anything, doesn´t really know where he´s going. I think he´s a little afraid the study group will somehow boomerang on him.
“Alex, now. I think I like Alex best of all. He´s like me; he hasn´t figured anything out, but he´s trying. But I don´t think I care for any of them the way you feel for Will and Saul.
“Except you, Anne, except you. You´ve set me free.”
“Not me, Mary.”
“Yes. You´re like me. What luck that we should come together! We like so many of the same things, we see things so much the same way. We let each other be ourselves... We love each other, Anne; at the same time we love our guys. Thank you.”
I went to her and we hugged and kissed each other for a while. Then we went to supper.