“Shit!” Sigrid said. She was opening the mail.
“What´s up?” Heather asked.
“Doctor says I have a bad pap smear. Wants me to do another.”
“Kind of scary. But, Mom told me smears turn up a lot of false positives. Probably nothing. Want me to come with you?”
“No, she´ll just take another and send me another post card. But, you can hold my hand until I get it.”
“Okay.”
.oOo.
“Mom, it´s Heather. Sorry to bother you at work ... Sigrid needs to talk to you.”
“Judith? ... My doctor says I have a pre-cancerous cervix ... You think so? When? ... Yes, here´s her name and number.” Sigrid read off the doctor´s information. “Yes. I´ll call you.”
“What did she say?” Anne asked.
“She said for me to get myself there as fast as I can. She´ll look at me, have a specialist look, too ... A cancer specialist.” Her voice shook.
Anne said, “That´s the guy you need, Sigrid. Who do you want to go with you?”
“I´ll be all right, Anne. I´ll go alone.”
“Hell you will,” Mary said. “You´ll take Tom anyway. Maybe one of us. This will be no joy-ride, even if you turn out to be all right.”
Sigrid looked at them all. “Which isn´t too likely, is it?”
“Well, wait and see,” Heather said. “Doctors are only human. You know that, Sigrid, you´ve seen Mom on her back often enough.”
Sigrid grinned. “I suppose so. Heather, will you come with us? Anne´s got too much that has to get done, and anyway, you can see your folks.”
“Sure. I´ll call for a flight, you get a suitcase packed and call Tom. Tell him. He´s over at the breeding barn, I think.”
“Wouldn´t you know,” Sigrid sighed, and went upstairs.
.oOo.
Judith looked quite different in a lab coat instead of virtual clothing. “Sigrid, your doctor is right. Your cervix is pre-cancerous, and you´re going to have to have a complete hysterectomy.” She came around her desk and took Sigrid in her arms, hugged her. “I´m sorry,” she said, adding “But there´s a good side to this.”
“Tell me about it,” Sigrid said sarcastically. Tom took over the hugging as Judith sat back on the edge of her desk.
“I will, Sigrid, and you pay attention. You´re going to lose your uterus, you won´t be able to have children, ever. But you´ll keep your ovaries. And you´re not a cancer patient – no chemo-therapy, no long-term worry about recurrence. You´ll live a long and healthy life, if you keep on as you have.”
“Oh, of course you´re right, Judith. I just did want children so much. I am glad it looks the way you say.”
“Now, you know that Calvin, here,” she indicated the oncologist who stood beside her, “is going to tell you all the stuff about risks and potential problems. He has to do that so you can make an informed decision about the surgery he´s going to do. But as your friend, let me assure you that, barring a catastrophe, you´ll get through this – physically at least – quickly and easily, and be back on your feet in no time ... Okay, Calvin, do your thing ...”
.oOo.
“Tom?”
“Yes, love, I´m here.”
“Thank you ... For being here.”
“Sure. How you feel?”
“Awful. My belly hurts. But not as bad as I thought it would.”
“That´s good. Here comes the nurse with something for you.”
The nurse took vitals and gave Sigrid some pills.
“Thank you,” Sigrid said. “Tom, where´s Heather?”
“Outside. You want to see her?”
“Not yet. Just hold my hand. They´ll take me to a room soon, won´t they?”
“Yes, I guess so. Just don´t hold your breath.”
“Yeah ... Well ... Tell Heather to come on in. Just not for long.”
.oOo.
“Judith,” Sigrid said, “I guess I really do feel pretty good, as you said I would. Physically, that is.”
“And the rest of you?”
“Sad. Very sad, Judith. I woke up last night and thought, ‘I should have had a baby long ago, before they found out.´ But that doesn´t make any sense. It wouldn´t have been me.”
“That´s true, you know.”
“Yes. Well, I´ll just have to find other people´s kids to take care of and love.”
“You can adopt, Sigrid.”
“Yes, Tom and I talked about it. We´ll probably try. Plenty of kids who need us. Only thing is, I doubt if any adoption agency would go along with the Still Waters way of life. We don´t fit the normal profile, do we?”
“No. But you´ll think of something.”
“I can´t leave the family. You´ve all been so wonderful. And Anne and Iris coming through yesterday as if it didn´t screw up their itinerary. I know how tight it was.”
“You´re leaving tomorrow.”
“Yes. I´ll be glad to get home, get back to work. Take my mind off my pelvis.”
The door banged open and Heather burst in. “Oops! Sorry ... God, you look beautiful. Hi, Mom! Sigrid, I´ve got an idea for you ... Where´s Tom? Oh, Hi! You were right behind me and I didn´t see you.”
“You were going hell for leather, Heather. Slow down, for God´s sake. What´s up?”
Heather controlled herself with an effort.
“Sigrid, Tom, I got talking with Dr. Chatterjee, that friend of Mom´s? The India-Indian ... Hope no one heard that.”
“What about, Heather?” Sigrid asked. “You´re wound up like a clock.”
“Let me have some of that water, will you? I´ll come down to earth in a minute.”
Heather perched on the end of Sigrid´s bed, drank some water and looked out the window for a moment. Somewhat more calmly, she said, “I talked with Chatterjee this morning. He told me how you can have children, Sigrid.”
“Don´t bullshit me, Heather.”
“No, I mean it. You can´t bear children, of course; you haven´t got the plumbing any more. But I could.”
“Heather, you don´t want children.”
“I don´t. But I could have one for you. You can have it once it´s born.”
“How come that´s got you so excited? Sure, Tom would love to get you pregnant anytime you want. Right, love?”
“Only reason it hasn´t happened to all of you is the pill.”
“Oh, dear, I´m making such a mess of this. Mom? Help me.”
“Just start at the beginning, honey. You´ll get it straight, and I don´t want to spoil it.”
“Sigrid, you´ve still got a set of healthy ovaries. And when they took out your uterus, they harvested some of your eggs.”
“Did they? Why?”
“I thought it would be a good idea,” Judith said. “They did a routine tissue exam of the ovaries anyway, to be sure there´s no problem there. We´ve got a whole bunch of your ova. They´ll keep for quite a while. And, we can always get more.”
“Sigrid, when you´re ready, Tom can fertilize some of your eggs, and Dr. Chatterjee will put an embryo in my uterus. I´ll carry the baby for you, but it´ll be all yours and Tom´s.”
Sigrid sank back on the pillows at the head of the bed. Tears rolled down her face. Tom took Heather and hugged her until Sigrid reached out. Heather sat beside her and the two women cried in each others´ arms.