26 Mary
Soon after the introduction, Jane Pinsky called.
“Can I come over?” she asked. I told her to come ahead. I´d been working on a term paper, wearing just a tee-shirt, so I put on shorts, too. She was wearing a sweat-suit.
“Hi. Want something to drink?” She shook her head. “How about a look around? Then make up your mind.”
We went through the house. She looked at everything, said little. Her eyes got pretty big when she saw the picture over our bed. She sat down on the bed, her back to it.
“How come all the walls are glass?”
“Ken wanted it that way. I like it a lot.”
“The bathrooms are all open. The bedrooms – you can see right in.”
“There are curtains for the bedrooms if you don´t want the morning light, or if you want privacy.” I showed her how they work. “The bathrooms are open because we enjoy seeing people washing and enjoying a bath. We think it looks great. There are curtains for the guest bath, though.”
“But, what about when you need to pee?”
“You use the toilet for that, you know. They´re enclosed, see?”
“Oh, I missed that ... Boy, I´ve never seen a house like this.”
“Now, how about a Coke and some apple pie?”
We took plates and glasses into the living room and Jane once again sat in front of my picture. She looked at me.
“I´ve never forgotten that picture. I´ve decided I like it. A lot. It´s really wonderful.”
“Thank you, I like it too, you know.”
“You said it was okay to come over if I called first. Did I interrupt you?”
“No, I was working on a term paper for my Financial Management course, I´ve got plenty of time to finish it. I like to get things like that done early so I can relax.”
“It´s really warm here. Can I take my shirt off?”
“Sure,” I said, and she pulled it off, leaving her in a singlet. Her breasts were beginning to develop nicely.
“I guess you like it warm so you don´t need to wear clothes. What were you wearing when I called?”
“Just a tee-shirt. Most of the time I wear something, just not much, and not always the same thing.” I was beginning to wonder what the agenda was.
“Ken´s not here,” she said.
“No, he´s out on the building site with Tom. They´re trying to get things set up so we can begin using some of the buildings this winter. And Iris is on the road.”
“Who´s Iris?”
“She lives with us. She´s a fashion designer; she´s going to work on our virtual clothing. Right now, she´s in New York doing publicity. She´s new with us, hasn´t had a chance to get to know the Riders yet.”
“Does she sleep with you, too?”
“Yes, of course.”
I decided to change the subject and move things along a little. “How´s it going at school, Jane? Any more trouble?”
“No. The guys are a little scared of me, now. They really don´t mess with me much, and some of them are really trying to be friendly.”
“Does that make you feel any better?”
“Yeah. You know, I´m fourteen now. When it happened, that was a year and a half ago. I was barely thirteen. Now, I´m in eighth grade and next year is my last in junior high. The boys have changed some. At least, they aren´t all rotten.”
“Were all of them always rotten?”
“I guess not. Just the ones I saw, the ones who did things to me. When I stopped letting them, I found out there were other boys. Some of them aren´t so bad.”
“Glad to hear that. And, I´m glad to hear you say it has something to do with you.”
“You mean ‘letting them´? Yeah. Some of what happened was because I was a wimp. Not that though.”
“You mean the rape. No, that wasn´t your fault at all. There´s no excuse to do that to anyone.”
“Even if she´s a wimp.”
“Especially if she´s a wimp. But of course, those are the ones who´re most likely to get it.”
“Yeah. Well, I think that´s over for me.” She looked at the picture again, then shifted to the end of the couch and looked through the doorway into the bedroom.
“Mary, do you like sex?”
“Jane, you know I do. What´s on your mind? Haven´t you found out what that´s about yet?”
“Oh, yeah. You know, the parts of the vagina, the uterus, all that shit. And my period. Did I tell you about that? No, of course not.”
“Go ahead,” I said.
“When I got it the first time, my mother was angry for days. Hardly spoke to me. Every time I get it, if I mention it to her, she clouds up like all get out. So, I don´t usually tell her.”
“Sorry. She´s got problems, doesn´t she?”
“Yeah. You told me your mom was sick ... But she got better ... I don´t think Mom will.”
“I´d be surprised. It´s too bad, isn´t it? But I suppose she can´t help it.”
“Funny. That´s what I was thinking. It´s just the way she is. I wish she wasn´t though.” Jane´s eyes filled up, but did not run over.
“It´s hard. I know.”
“Oh, I guess I´ll be all right. I just need someone to talk to sometimes. That´s why I came today. Is it all right?”
“Sure it is. You know it. And if your period is ever late, even a day, tell me.”
“Okay. I will,” Jane said, looking toward the bedroom again. “What´s it like? How can it be fun? I mean, all I remember is that it hurt.”
“I´m sure of that. See, it all depends if you´re ready for it, if you want it to happen ... Uh, do you masturbate, Jane?”
“Play with myself? Yeah, sure. I was doing that before ... Yeah. I still do sometimes.”
“Do you like that? Do you get wet and do you come?”
“I sure get wet, and yeah, I guess I come. Makes me feel all funny. Good, too.”
“Well, when you´re feeling all wet and, well, ready. That´s when it´s nice to have a guy do what you see over the bed. Especially if he loves you and you love him.”
“That you and Ken in the bedroom?”
“Uh-huh. Come with me.” I took her into the bedroom, sat with her on the foot of the bed, this time facing the picture.
“Take a good look, Jane. That´s the real thing, what Ken and I do. A lot. When Will drew this ...”
“Will did this?”
“Yes, just as he did the one in the living room. When he did it, Ken and I were here on the bed. I was so ready I almost came. It seemed to take forever while he made the sketches, and when he was done, Ken put it in me and I did come. Instantly. That´s what it is, Jane, and it´s wonderful if it´s what you want. Okay?”
“Yeah,” she said, still absorbed by the images before her. Finally, she shook herself and looked at me. “Someday, maybe ... Know what? I´m wet down there. Just looking at that.”
“Lots of people get turned on by looking at things like that.”
“I can see that, now. But that stuff about love is bullshit,” she said. I looked at her with a question. “It´s bullshit when they say you have to love someone to fuck.”
“Of course it´s bullshit. You can screw anyone. But for it to be fun, you have to like the guy, have to want to do it with him. When you love each other, it´s even better. That´s all I meant.”
“Yeah, I know. But I get this shit from Mom about ‘love, love, love, marriage, marriage, marriage. It´s a load of crap. I´ll bet she never lets Dad screw her.”
I let most of that go by and led the way back to the living room. “Just so you understand me, Jane, I don´t screw anyone I don´t like a lot. Sometimes I meet someone I like instantly. I met a guy last summer like that and we made love almost right away. But that´s unusual.”
“Did you know Ken, then?”
“Yes. We were already living together. He knew about it, was with me. It was all right with him. He and I have an agreement.”
“You can screw anyone?”
“Both of us are free to love anyone we care for. It´s the same for him as for me. No difference.”
“I don´t really understand that. I´d better think about it some.”
“Do that, and ask me when you have questions. The way Ken and I live is not for everyone.”
“You do it with the rest of the guys.”
“You mean Still Waters? Yes, I told you that. Does that make a difference to you?”
“I wondered about it after you told me. I asked Dad. He said you all have your own way of life, and that what´s important is how you are with other people – he meant me.”
“I´m surprised, Jane. I had to tell you that so you would understand about me. I wasn´t sure your Dad would handle it as well as that. He´s a good man.”
“Yeah. He didn´t used to talk to me much. It´s still hard for him to talk about sex and stuff. But he listens, and that helps.” Jane looked out toward the patio for a moment.
“Mary, there´s this boy at school. Tim Manning. Wants me to go to the movies with him.”
“Do you want to?”
“Sort of. I mean, it scares me a little.”
“I understand that. But if you go, your Dad will drive you, won´t he? You won´t really be alone with him.”
“That´s true. I haven´t talked with Dad about it yet.”
“Tell your dad you want to give it a try, if that´s what you want. Work out how to set it up so you feel safe. Don´t do anything unless you know how it´s probably going to go.”
“Thanks. I´ll try that ... Hey, I gotta go.”
“I´m glad you came. Please do it again, whenever you want.”
I got up with Jane. She came to me and hugged me for a while. I hugged her back and it felt very good. She looked up at me and grinned.
“Next time, I might not call.”
“Why not?”
“Catch you naked.”
“Next time you want to talk, call. If you want to take your clothes off, we can. Play it straight, okay?”
She smiled back, kissed my cheek and headed for the door.
‘She needs a mother,´ I thought, ‘and she´s picked me. Jesus, what a choice!´