Village Life
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July, Tuesday 15
Well, here we are. We've moved and I'm sitting in my new bedroom on this first evening of my new life in the countryside. It's very quiet outside. And it's really dark too. There are no street lights at all. There's not much else to say. The men came and packed up our boxes yesterday and then they set off in the removal truck. They said it would take them nearly 12 hours solid driving to get from our old home to our new one. Dad and Mum shared the driving between them today and I was nearly sick in the car. It took eight hours and twenty minutes to get here, but that includes the time we stopped for lunch and a couple of pit-stops.
July, Sunday 20
It was our first Sunday in the new village and I went to church for the
family service. There was quite a good crowd there and the church seemed full.
But it only holds sixty people anyway, not like the church in our old place.
Mum said that she thought that some of them were only there to see what the new
vicar was like and maybe she was right.
There were a few kids there and some girls about my age. But I only counted
three other teenage boys and one of them might have been only eleven or twelve.
I was wearing a clean pair of jeans and my favourite surfer T. Dad doesn't
really worry about what clothes you wear to church. But quite a lot of the
people at the service seemed to be wearing what Mum calls Sunday best. I'm
still laughing at the sight of one of the boys I saw. He was a bit taller than
me so I guess that he's either 14 too or maybe 15. And he was wearing a white
shirt and tie, and a pair of shorts that I bet he didn't choose. The younger
lad that is maybe not a teenager was also wearing shorts. So there was a lot of
bare skin on show. You never saw boys in shorts in our old place.
July, Tuesday 22
Yesterday was quite interesting but today was boring. Dad always takes Mondays off so we went around in the car and some places. I wore my baggy jeans yesterday but today it was so hot that I changed into my board shorts. There's nothing to do here. I know because I walked all around the village in only ten minutes. There's a pub and a really tiny shop where you can get milk and bread but nothing else much. They didn't even have decent icepops so I bought an orange one. It tasted quite nice but I prefer mint-choc.
July, Wednesday 23
Dad got a bit cross with me at lunchtime because I said that there was nothing to do here. He said I could cut the grass if I had so much time on my hands but he had lots of work to do. He has this church and four other parishes and no one else to help. In our last place he had only one church, a curate, and a secretary. I don't think I would have moved for this job. I cut the grass. There is a lot of it. You could have a football field at the bottom of the back garden if there was anyone to play football with.
July, Saturday 26
I am really really really really really really really bored. Even the telly
doesn't work properly here. Dad says that we will have to get a new aerial. In
the meantime we have only four channels and they are no good.
July, Sunday 27
Church again. Dad tried to tell a joke about a dog but nobody laughed. I was so embarrassed. Those boys I saw last week wearing shorts were there again today and they were dressed just the same. The bigger one came up and shook my hand in the churchyard and said he hoped I liked it here. His name is Mark. I felt really cool because I was wearing my baggies and a great new T and he was wearing a short-sleeved white shirt, a stripe tie and navy shorts that aren't even Bermudas. He looked such a dork but it was nice to talk to someone else besides Mum and Dad so I was nice back. Then the other boy came over, the one I thought might be thirteen but he could be eleven or twelve. But actually his name is Zander which I never heard before but it is short for Alex and he is nearly fourteen. His birthday is in September and he might be in the same class as me at school when we go back. He smiles a lot and is quite nice and he liked my T. He was wearing a plain white polo shirt like we wore at my old school and a pair of green coloured shorts. His reach his knees so they are bit more cool than Mark's. They will come round tomorrow on their bikes and show me some of the places they go.
July, Monday 28
It was another hot day so I put on my board shorts and a really good T that I have with a picture of a man doing kitesurfing. It's yellow. About ten o'clock Mark and Zander turned up and we went off together on our bikes. Mark's bike is nearly as good as mine. But he still looked a total dork. His Mum must still choose his clothes for him. He was wearing his shorts from yesterday and a plain blue T and a pair of brown leather sandals with socks. Weird. But he does have a great tan on his legs and mine look a bit white and not really like a surfer's legs. Zander was wearing red football shorts and his legs are really brown too. He had on a white T that said Royal Marines but I don't think that real Marines are as small as him.
Anyway we went up to a hill where you can see for miles and I saw three counties as well as this one. There is absolutely nothing but fields for miles and miles and then you can't see any further. There are some villages and Zander knows the names of them all which he told me but I only remembered one because they said that that is where they go for scouts. I was a scout in our old place and I thought it would be good to join here too as there isn't anything else. There are only five boys in our parish who go to secondary school and two other teenagers who are hippies and do home-schooling. There are some girls too and lots of little kids and there are some guys who come here to visit grandparents. So the villages around join together for some things like scouts and that is why there is scouts in one place but not in our village. There were twelve boys in the cubs last year and eight boys in the scouts. But this year if I join there might be thirteen in scouts because nobody is leaving this year and some cubs are old enough to move up. They meet on Thursday evenings usually and sometimes on Saturdays too. But next week they will be meeting on Wednesday because their hall is being used on Thursday. There is me in the vicarage in our village, and Mark and his two sisters in their house, and Zander on his own, and two brothers who live on a farm and don't come to church. The big lad I saw in church on Sunday is called Andy and he is staying for the holidays with his grandparents.
After our big tour we came back to the Rectory and had sandwiches in the
garden that Mum had made for us. Then we played football down at the bottom of
the garden. I was right it is a good football pitch and I'm going to ask Dad if
we can get some goal posts. It was a good day.
July, Thursday 31
Dad was in a rage today. He had been out on visits and when he came back he came charging into my room and pulled out the plug on my system. He said that everyone in the village could hear my music and he said that it was dreadful. I didn't have it up loud at all and it was just the same as I used to play cds in our old place but Dad said that this was different and I have to be quiet here because it's the country. I told him that there was no point in being in the country if you can't make any noise and anyway I was playing my music quietly, and that in future it would be nice if he remembered to knock on my door before he came barging in. He looked really angry but that fixed him. He said that I had better watch it and that I was skating on very thin ice.
In the morning Zander came round and we kicked the ball for a while. Zander is going to play cricket on Saturday in the village and I said that I would come and watch.
August, Sunday 3
Dad talked about children obeying their parents because they know best. It was boring. Mark reminded me that there was going to be a scout meet on Wednesday evening because they are going on a hike on Saturday. He is going to call for me and then we will call fo Zander and ride over to the scout hall together. Mark was wearing grey shorts today for church and they looked like the sort of shorts that little boys wear for school in the summer. I kind of laughed and asked him if he chose them and he went all red. But I said sorry because he's really kind of nice and it must be awful to have parents who make you wear dorky clothes.
August, Wednesday 6
At lunchtime Dad was grinning and he asked me if I was looking forward to going to scouts tonight. He seemed to think that it was funny that I was going to join the scouts again but it's so boring here and all the boys for miles are in this group so it should be good.
August, Thursday 7
It was too late when I got back last night to write my diary. Dad must have known about the scouts and that is why he was laughing yesterday. I nearly laughed too when I saw Mark at the door to call for me. He was wearing shorts with his uniform! And they weren't just any old shorts. They were dark blue shorts made from corduroy and they were even shorter than his usual shorts and that's saying something. They would have been bad enough but he was also wearing long socks that were kind of creamy colour and reached to his knees and had a green coloured tops. He saw me smiling and he knew why but he just smiled back and said that I might want to change. I was wearing jeans because I'd changed out of my board shorts for the evening but Mark said that I might feel more comfortable at the meeting if I wore some shorts. I thought he was pulling my leg but then I saw that he was serious and I thought that I might as well. I knew I wasn't going to look as dorky as him whatever I wore so I changed into my Gap cargo shorts that I haven't worn this summer yet because I got them last year and they are a but tight. But they would do fine for scouts so Mark and I then went to get Zander. Well I nearly died. Zander was wearing the same uniform as Mark. It's like my old uniform on top with the green shirt but we wore activity trousers with side pockets and they were pretty cool. They said that everyone wore this kind of uniform at their scouts but I didn't really believe them until we got to the village hall where the meeting was. It was dead true. There were pictures of scouts wearing shorts and long socks in one of my scout annuals but that was only to show how much the uniform had changed since the olden days. And my Dad once told me that he wore that kind of uniform when he was in scouts. But it was really weird to see nine teenage boys in old-fashioned uniforms. I was kind of glad that I had changed out of my jeans when Mark took me up to the old guy who runs the scouts and he was wearing shorts too. I don't think that old guys should wear shorts, they have weird legs. But it was an interesting meeting and I forgot that the others were all dorks. There is one boy who is seventeen and he is a PL and his shorts must have been really old because they were very tight on him. There's another man who helps out as a leader but he wasn't there tonight. The old guy is called Spate I think and he asked me about my old scouts and said that I could come on the hike on Saturday if I wanted and he had some second-hand uniform that he could bring round to the Rectory for me to try. I said that I would think about it but I wasn't sure.
On the way home Mark and Zander tried to make me say that I would join the scouts again but I still think that their uniform is the pitz.
August, Friday 8
Dad was in a really mean mood today. He's like that on Fridays sometimes and
it means that he still doesn't know what to say in his sermon on Sunday. He
gave out to me at breakfast and said that I was a clumsy little boy but it was an
accident that the milk shot out of the plastic bottle and went all over the
floor when I took it out of the fridge. He said that it was high time that I
started to catch on to myself which I thought was really funny but I looked at
the floor and said sorry.
Mr Spate came round at lunchtime and he had a talk with Dad first in Dad's
study . They are going to have a church parade soon and dad said that he would
do a special talk. Mr Spate had brought round some old shorts and shirts and a
new socks and said that if I wanted to try the scouts he could fix me up with a
uniform that would do for a while until I decided if I wanted to join or not. I
said I still wasn't sure that the scouts here was something I wanted to do but
Dad gave me his look and said that he thought it was a good idea for me to try
it for a while so I was given three pairs of the shorts to try on in my room
and see if any fitted. One pair was too loose but the other pairs fitted ok
around my waist but one was longer than the other and then I thought about how
Mark looked in his and so I chose the really short pair and went down and said
that they would do. Dad looked at me and said that they looked very smart which
is just the sort of thing he would say. Vicars are such dorks.
August, Sunday 10
I was really tired last night and so I didn't do my diary and write about the hike. There were ten scouts and two leaders and another dad who came to help and we went in a minibus to a big forest. We had maps and were made into teams to see if we could get to a tower on the hill first. Mark and me and a boy called Timothy were in the same group. It was good that he is called Timothy because that meant that he was different to me. Nobody ever calls me Timothy and I think that Tim is better anyway. Timothy is sixteen and he was in charge of our team and we did pretty well. We came second and then we had lunch before we had to go and follow clues to see if we could find a prize.
I was glad I went but I was also glad that not many people saw us because my legs looked really weird in the shorts I was wearing because I only have tan at my knees and anyway I think these uniforms are really stupid and out of date. Timothy told me that they didn't wear modern uniforms because in our area it's traditional scouts like BP meant it to be and not all dancing and doing photography and having girls. Here they do camping and hiking and nature and that's how scouts should be he said and that was why they stayed with the old style uniform.
Dad's sermon was the worst ever today. He went on about how traditional values are all gone and nobody is polite anymore but that's just boring. I saw Zander and Mark at church today and we chatted after service. Timothy was there too and I said hello to two other boys who had been on the hike. It's kind of nice to know other people and be able to talk. Especially in a place like this where there is nothing to do and it's just boring all the time. Timothy was wearing long trousers today but they were like school trousers and he was wearing a jacket and tie. People are so old-fashioned here. I wore my baggies again and I was easily the coolest guy there. Mark was wearing his grey shorts again and they really do look like a lot like school shorts and maybe his Mum made them out of old trousers from last year.
August, Tuesday 12
Mark came around and we went on our bikes to another village where we played football on a proper pitch with some other boys who had come to play. We were Liverpool against Yeovil and Yeovil won 16 - 12.
On the way back we stopped for a rest on top of the big hill and we looked all over the countryside and I could name five of the villages completely right and two more nearly. When we were lying on the ground I saw that Mark had a bruise on the back of his leg just under his shorts and I said that he must have had a nasty fall. He went red and said that it was nothing and then I said that it looked like a really sore nothing. Then he told me that he got the rod yesterday from his Dad for giving backcheek to his Mum. I was really shocked and I said that kids get grounded nowadays and not whacked. But Mark just said that everyone gets spanked or gets the belt or a rod if they were bold. But I said no. He said he was surprised if I didn't get spanked at home because around the villages everybody except the hippy home-schoolers are punished that way. So I said that it might be everybody except the hippies and me but that didn't make it right. Mark just said that it was better than being grounded and having nothing to do but I said that living here was like being grounded all the time.
We didn't talk much more on the way back and he went home. I like Mark but he is such a dork and he is really really old-fashioned the way he talks. Maybe there will be other guys who are really cool when the holidays are over and I start at my new school.
August, Friday 15
What a day. Zander came around today and I was glad to see him because I was going up the wall. Mark hasn't called since Tuesday when he told me about being punished with a rod. Zander was wearing his red football shorts again and I thought that I would put my ones on too and we went and played football on our pitch at the bottom of the garden. Dad got some branches and stuck them in the ground and they are the goals until we get some proper ones. At lunch I asked Dad a polite question about when we could go into town to get the new goals and nets and he just snapped at me for no reason at all. He and Mum looked at each other and Mum said not to worry dear because the school holidays would soon be over. Dad said that it might be a good idea to go into town but that we wouldn't be getting goals yet but he thought that I could do with a haircut. I said that I didn't need a haircut because I was growing it long and Dad said that it was too long already. And then he said that it wasn't smart to roll your eyes like I was doing. But he was really crazy and it being Friday he must have no sermon ready yet again.
We went into town but it's not really a town. The cinema only has one screen and it shows really old films that have been out form months. And there aren't any good shops like Gap and instead there is a kind of department shop that sells clothes for old men and women who can't go very far to get good stuff. Dad took me into the barber's and told the barber that I needed a nice neat haircut but the barber just made a mess anyway and I look such a dork now because he cut it really short. I told Dad that he had ruined my life and that next time I would wait until we could go somewhere where they know how to cut hair. Dad just looked at me and said that I was skating on thin ice again and that I would be in for a nasty shock if I kept on like this. Then we went into the big shop, it's called Trudox but I call it Truedorks. Dad looked around and then they checked my size for uniform because the comp I will be going to is in this town because it's the nearest. Dad bought some stuff while I looked at the games but they don't have any x-box stuff but just toys and stuff for kids.
When we got home I took a shower to wash my hair and see if I could get some style back but it was way too short. That barber is a butcher. Dad said that he had left some new clothes for me to put on because we were going out for dinner and I said that I didn't know that we were going out and that I couldn't go anywhere until my hair grew back. Then Dad really lost his cool and he came into my room where I was looking at the stupid clothes he'd bought and he said I told you that you were on thin ice and it seems to me that it's cracking fast. Then I told him that he was daft to be spending money on dork clothes because what he had bought was a pair of shorts that were kind of sand coloured and didn't even have cargo pockets so they looked totally dorky and he had also bought me a new short-sleeved shirt that wasn't too bad because it was button-down oxford but I didn't want him buying me clothes like this again because they would only have to go back to the shop for a refund and he had ruined my life by taking me to that barber shop where they didn't know how to do good hair.
And that's when Dad totally flipped and he grabbed me. He sat on my bed and pulled my dressing gown off me and then he started smacking my bum. Well I screamed and screamed and shouted for Mum and the police and anybody to come and save me because my Dad was trying to kill me. But when Mum came in she didn't stop Dad but gave him one of his old runners and said that he should be sure to make sure of the job this time. Dad gave me twelve hard smacks with the runner and then he left me in my room and told me to hurry up and get dressed because we would have to go out soon. My parents have totally flipped and my life is totally fucked up.
August, Sunday 17
My brother came to our new home for the first time yesterday. He's starting his last year at uni this year and he's twenty and pretty cool. Steve has been working in France for the summer because he wanted to improve his French but you can bet that that's not all he's been improving. He had a very long chat for hours with Dad and afterwards he went to sort out his room so I didn't get to see much of him. This morning Mum told me to put on the clothes I was wearing on Friday night when we went to this old woman's house for dinner (it was the worst) and I even though I didn't want to put them on I decided that it would be worth a day's peace from the way my parents had been nagging me. When I came down I was surprised to see that Steve was wearing a shirt and tie and so we went into church looking just as Sunday-best as all the dorks.
Mark smiled when he saw me and afterwards I told him that I was sorry that I had freaked about the way his Dad punished him. And then he laughed and said that it sounded like I had got it pretty good on Friday. He was coming to get me for a game and he said that he could hear me screaming from down the lane. It was my turn to go red and I thought that I would be sure to try to be quiet if Dad ever punishes me like that again. Mark said that my new shorts looked really smart and that at last I was beginning to look more like a villager. I'm to call for Mark tomorrow and we will go on our bikes somewhere.
August, Tuesday 19
Steve is in big trouble. He went with some friends for a holiday after he had been working and he spent all of the money he had saved. Dad is going to have to lend him some money for next year and so Dad is going around snapping at everyone. He even told Mum that she might try using the left-overs from lunch instead of throwing them into the bucket for Mr Charton's pigs. She gave him such a look and he went off and stayed in his study all afternoon. I wore my football shorts and a T because it was extra hot today and Steve wore shorts and a T too and we took bikes out and I showed him the view from the big hill. He was really impressed when I named all the villages we could see and he said that I must be settling in well here. I didn't tell him that I wasn't sure that I got all of the villages named right. Then I told him about Mark and Zander and scouts and even about Dad being mad with me and spanking me.
Steve laughed when I told him about the uniform the scouts wear here and then he remembered about going to school in one of Dad's old parishes when he was eight and nine and I was still little and he wore shorts all year round for school and to cubs. He's got some photos somewhere and he's going to show them to me when he gets his stuff sorted out in his room. Then Steve told me that Dad always used to spank him as punishment and that the last time was when he was nearly seventeen and Dad used his belt. Steve said that he always thought that it wasn't fair that I never got spanked and I was really shocked because I really had no idea that Steve got punished like that. Steve said that he hoped that I took my punishment well and like a real man and I just nodded my head because I didn't want to tell him that the whole village could hear me screaming.
August, Wednesday 20
Turns out that it's Xander and not Zander.
I learned this when he brought an invitation round for us all to go to a barbecue at his house on Friday evening. It was done on his Dad's computer and it looked good with a cartoon chef and a photo of his Dad hidden behind a lot of smoke.
Xander stayed over and Mark and Timothy came round and we all played football on our pitch and Steve came down and joined us so we had three against two. Xander, Mark and me played against Steve and Timothy and even though we had more players they still won but only 27 - 24. We were all wearing shorts. Me and Xander were wearing football shorts. Mark was wearing his grey shorts and I think that they are really school shorts and not just made from old trousers. When we were sitting on the ground for a rest I could see up his legs a bit and his shorts have a white lining and I think that means that they are proper school shorts. Imagine being fifteen and your parents make you wear stuff like that! Timothy was wearing a pair of cargo shorts and Steve wore beach shorts and he had the brownest legs of all of us. I think that my legs are more brown this summer than they have ever been before.
Steve told us stories about the tricks they played when he was at school and then we all told about the worst trouble we had ever been in. We were just lying back on the grass and looking at the sky and it was really friendly and I thought that I was kind of glad that we had moved here. Timothy asked Steve if he had ever been caned at school and I sat straight up when Steve said yes. I'm learning so much about my big brother that I never even guessed. In Dad's last parish Steve went to the church school for one year when he was eleven before he went to secondary. And one day when he was fighting with another boy at lunchtime and a teacher caught them so they were brought to the Headteacher's office and he gave them three strokes of the cane on the bum each and told them to shake hands and not fight again.
August, Thursday 21
Steve found his photo album and he showed me his pix from when he was eleven. It's weird that my bruv was finishing primary school then and I hadn't even started. But I'm glad I didn't go to that school; the uniform was so much a disaster. Steve had to wear these really short grey shorts for school with grey socks that came up to his knees. And he had a grey shirt and a jumper and tie. But nearly the stupidest thing was that he had an old-style school cap like Just William had when he was on the telly. But that was only nearly the stupidest thing, because the shorts were extra weird. They were so short that in one pic he looked like he was just wearing his underpants. We laughed but then Steve said that it was the best school he had ever been to and he learned a lot because people weren't always messing about.
But then in the evening it was Steve's turn to laugh because I went to scouts again and I was in my uniform and Steve said that my scout shorts were even shorter than his old school shorts used to be and when I looked in the mirror I saw that he was nearly right. But it was good at scouts and everyone else is wearing the same. We are all dorks in this place now.
August, Friday 22
Dad took me into town today and we went to Truedorks to collect my uniform for my new school. At my old school the blazer was just black with the crest sewn on it but my new blazer is stripes with purple and yellow and it would give you a pain in the eyes if you stared at it. The rest of the uniform was just the usual stuff. They have grey shirts instead of white, but it's grey trousers just the same as my old school. I had to try the trousers and blazer on and a jumper which is grey and with purple and yellow on the v for when it gets colder. It's not a cool uniform but when I saw in the mirror I kind of thought that I looked a bit smart in it. But really old-fashioned.
But the uniform wasn't the worst part. I don't know what Dad was thinking about but he picked out a huge pile of plain white underpants for me and they were briefs and not boxers or even trunks. Well I told him that just because I had a dorky school uniform didn't mean that I had to wear dorky pants. But Dad just said in his cross voice that these were part of the uniform and he took them to the counter. The sales guy had my stuff piled up and he had put grey socks on top and these just freaked me totally. They are short grey socks and not long like Steve used to wear but they have purple and yellow stripes on them anyway and they just freaked me out. I mean what kind of school tells you what underpants and what socks to wear.
So I just told Dad to fuck off with himself if he thought I was going to wear all this crap and I went out of Truedorks and went to the car. School is supposed to start on Monday but I was thinking that Mum would find somewhere else for me to go. Or maybe I could just home-school like the hippies and wear my own stuff instead. So that's what I told Dad when he came to the car at last. I should have known that he was really really pissed with me because he didn't say a word all the way home. He just dumped my stuff in the back and we drove home and he was completely silent while I told him that this whole place was a total disaster and we shouldn't have come here.
When we got home Dad grabbed my ear in one hand and the shopping bags in the other and then he pulled me into the house. I didn't scream because I knew that he was in a complete mood and I remembered that I didn't want everyone in the village to know that Dad was treating me like we were back in the seventies or eighties. Dad took me upstairs and told me to strip out of my old clothes because I was going to be wearing my new uniform for the whole weekend so I could get used to it for school on Monday. He also said that I was going to get a right royal thrashing for my behaviour in the shop and I saw that he was having another one of his Friday moods. Maybe I should start writing his sermons for him.
Anyway, I had to take off all my clothes and I can't remember ever being nude in front of Dad before but he just said that I obviously had a lot of growing up still to do because I still looked like a little boy. I think he was just trying to make me feel really small. I put on the white briefs and the grey shirt and the socks, and then Dad handed me the grey trousers. But they weren't the ones I had tried on in Truedorks. They were shorts for fuck's sake. dad had changed them when I ran out of the shop. Well I screamed the house down. Then Dad sat down on my bed and dragged me over his lap and smacked me hard with his hand a whole load of times.
Dad said that he wasn't going to take any more of my cheek and that I had
better learn to be an obedient boy or I would get a lot more of what I was
about to get. I had snot running out of my nose but I didn't cry from the
smacking. Then Dad stood up and gave me the shorts and I put them on because I
didn't want another smacking but then Dad told me to go down to his study so he
could give me a dose of the cane.
Dad had got this cane from somewhere and he had it hidden behind some books and
he made me bend over the back of his old armchair and then he thrashed me
really hard six times. When he finished he made me stand facing a corner and
told me to stay there until he told me to move.
I didn't get any dinner and I had to go to bed early. Steve winked at me when he saw me and it was nice of him because it wasn't a laughing kind of wink but more like a sorry bro wink. I got cleaned up and got into bed and cried for a while. I didn't cry because my bum was sore even though it was really painful and when I touched it I felt warm and it kept throbbing. But I cried because I saw that all my clothes were gone from my room so I only had my new school clothes. I just can't go to school in these shorts. I'll be torn apart before I even get into assembly.
August, Saturday 22
I didn't go out all day because I don't want to be seen in these clothes.
August, Sunday 23
Mum made me go to church with her and Steve. Mark came up afterwards and tried to be nice even though I was wearing that awful uniform with the shorts and little socks. Mark was wearing his grey shorts too and I saw that they looked just the same as mine. He looked at my legs and he said that he could see a bit of red under my shorts at the back where I was punished but that it should be gone by the time the bus arrives for school tomorrow.
And then he said that he was glad to see that I was wearing school uniform shorts because I would have looked such a dork and been teased if I turned up for the bus wearing long trousers.
Timothy from scouts came over and held out his hand for me to shake. He's sixteen and really tall and comes from another one of the villages but his family came to our church for today. He was wearing navy shorts and white shirt. He said, "Hi Tim, welcome. You're one of us now".
What kind of weird place is this?
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� Mike Ward 2006