Oscar Meyers Part 2: Academia By Lazlo Zalezac Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2005 Chapter 28 Feeling like the whole world was his oyster, Oscar walked across the road towards the school. He felt great. After spending a nice quiet night with Georgia, he had a very pleasurable morning romp with her. It was a rare occasion when he had a chance to spend the night with Georgia alone. He spent many more nights alone with Debbie than with Georgia. He didn’t begrudge a single night alone with Debbie, but it was great to spend the night with Georgia. It was a glorious day and that just added to his pleasure. The sky was brilliant blue and the grass was green giving a feast to his eyes. The wind blowing through the trees was music to his ears. His instructor had run away and he didn’t have any classes. He didn’t think it could get any better. Taking his time, he sauntered beside the road. Occasionally, he would stop to pick up a pebble and toss it down the road trying to skip it on the hard surface. He found one small flat stone that bounced a dozen times before skittering along the asphalt. Raising a first to the sky, he laughed and shouted, “He scores a dozen hops!” Cupping his hands over his mouth, he made a slight roaring sound as if a crowd was applauding his effort. Removing his hands, he said, “The crowd goes wild.” Laughing at his behavior, he resumed walking along the road. He might have felt embarrassed if anyone had been around to observe his behavior, but he doubted it. Sometimes it was just right to act like a kid again. After all, he was only twenty-four. Too many of the past years had been spent acting much older than his age. Upon reaching the road to the college, his vision blurred. He blinked his eyes wondering what the matter with them was. Suddenly, he was seeing double. He froze as a wave of dizziness washed over him and bent over so that his hands were resting on his knees. He took a deep breath in the hope that his vision would clear up, but it only got worse. It seemed to him as if he were seeing two images of the world. Stomach feeling queasy, he took another deep breath to calm his stomach. His balance started to leave him and he knelt on the ground to keep from falling on his face. After thirty seconds on his knees he had to lean forward to support himself with his hands. It didn’t help. His stomach reacted to the twinned vision. Queasiness transitioned to a full boil. He lost his breakfast barely able to keep from drowning in his own vomit. Every movement seemed to aggravate his condition. Confused, he closed his eyes hoping that it would block out the twinned vision. The sounds of birds chirping echoed in his ears. He opened his eyes to find that he was still seeing double. Curling into a fetal position, he closed his eyes. A whimper escaped from his lips. Time passed, but he was unable to judge the passage of time. A large black bear nudged Oscar and then roared. Sid, hearing the roar, came rushing out of the woods and raced over to where his bear, Fluffy the third, was standing over the body roaring. Kneeling beside Oscar, Sid said, “I’m going to have to get him to the school. Go to the front door and get some attention.” Picking up Oscar, Sid cradled him in his arms rather than adopt a fireman carry. At least the young man was small; much larger and Sid knew that he would have a difficult time carrying him to the front door of the school. He followed behind the figure of the bear running to the door of the school. Reaching the front door, Fluffy turned sidewise and threw himself into the door. The glass shattered and fell to the ground. The bear walked through the door and roared. The sound of glass breaking and the roar attracted plenty of attention. Unable to help himself, Sid smiled and, between deep breaths, said, “There’s nothing subtle about that bear.” A crowd of people rushed to find out what happened. The handful of students who had been in the administration building froze on seeing the bear standing among the shattered glass while roaring. The Druids, familiar with Fluffy, rushed past him fearing that something was the matter with Sid. The sight of Sid staggering up to the building carrying Oscar was a relief tinged with fear. Most of them immediately assumed that Oscar had been hit by a car while crossing the road. Bill Turner, a very large man, was among the first to reach Sid. He took control of Oscar; lifting him with great ease out of the smaller man’s arms. Carrying him like a baby, he rushed towards the college. Word had reached Laura in the infirmary that a student had been injured and she was rushing around to prepare for a patient. Bill Turner arrived at the infirmary and, breathing normally, asked, “Where should I put him?” “On the examination table,” Laura answered patting the table beside her. It was only after Bill had put Oscar on the table that she could see who it was. Concerned, she asked, “What happened?” Breathless, Sid arrived in time to hear the question and answered, “I don’t know. I found him by the road curled into a fetal position. It was obvious he had thrown up.” It was easy to see that he was breathing normally. The red robe made it difficult, but she could see that he wasn’t bleeding. His skin was pale and he was sweating. She lifted his lids and checked his eyes. They were dilated, but turned to pinpoints almost before she shined a light at them. She removed the light and his eyes were dilated again. The reaction time seemed very fast, but both eyes seemed to be tracking together and reacting properly to the light. She eliminated a head injury after feeling around the back of his head. Whipping out a pair of scissors, Laura cut off his robe so that she could examine his body for broken bones and bruising. Running her hands over his body, he groaned and opened his eyes. Twin visions of Laura moving started to make him to his stomach. Feeling as if he were about to throw up again, he said, “I feel sick.” “Were you hit by a car?” “No. I feel sick,” Oscar answered with another groan. He closed his eyes to block out the double vision. Her voice grated with an unnatural echo. It was very difficult to understand a single word that she said. All that he could really make out clearly were the words, ‘were’ and ‘car.’ He put his hands over his stomach and curled into a tight ball. Watching the unusual reaction, Laura said, “Tell me what happened.” “Just started seeing double,” Oscar answered. His voice was slurred and he had started to answer even before she finished talking. Confused by the symptoms, she went to check his eyes again wondering if she had missed anything. After a shudder went through his body, he suddenly shook his head and then cautiously opened his eyes. His vision was normal once again. He swallowed heavily and then took a deep breath. Uncurling, he sighed in relief. His skin returned to its normal healthy hue. Looking over at Laura, he said, “It just cleared up.” “What happened?” Oscar described what had happened to him while walking by the road. Laura listened carefully, but couldn’t identify what could have caused his symptoms. It sounded like a stroke, but that wouldn’t have cleared up almost instantaneously. Just in case, she would send him to the hospital for a cat scan. If there was something unusual they would be able to spot it there. She frowned when another possibility came to mind. Shaking her head, she went over to the cabinet. Once there, she pulled out a vial to take a blood sample. Returning to him, she said, “I want to take some blood.” “Why?” “It’s possible that you were drugged.” “Drugged?” Oscar asked while she prepared his arm to take a blood sample. “Yes,” she answered. It was possible that he was attacked and was unaware of it. This wouldn’t be the first time that someone employed a contact drug to get a Druid into a position where they would be an easy target. “No. I don’t use drugs,” Oscar said. “Of course, you know that.” She inserted the needle and glanced up at his face. He had his eyes squeezed shut and was facing away. Looking back down at the vial, she asked, “What’s the matter? You don’t like having blood drawn?” “I hate getting shots,” he answered. “The tough guy is really a baby. I’ve even heard that you are the most dangerous man in the world,” Laura said in a teasing voice. “Really? I didn’t know that,” Oscar said wondering who was saying that he was the most dangerous man in the world. “I’m going to send you to the hospital for a CAT scan,” she said while removing the needle from his arm. There was a remote possibility that he had a tumor although an ear infection would have been a more likely option. Of course, the fact that he was a Druid made both possibilities equally remote. “I thought you said that I was drugged,” Oscar said. “I’m not sure what it was. I don’t want to take any chances,” Laura replied. All further discussion was cut off with the arrival of Georgia and Debbie. Georgia had heard a rumor that he had been struck by a car while crossing the road. She felt guilty for having him spend the night and, by extension, putting him in the position where he would have to cross the road. It didn’t matter that she had to do that every morning. Rushing over to him, Georgia asked, “Are you okay?” “I’m fine, now.” The red head was particularly upset and nearly pulled Oscar off the table in an attempt to hug him. Laura had to hold the red head back before she hurt Oscar by dragging him off the table. Laura said, “Calm down. He appears to be okay.” Debbie slipped out of Laura’s hands and hugged Oscar. Tears running down her cheeks, she said, “Don’t you dare scare us like that again.” “I wasn’t planning on it,” Oscar said with a puzzled grin while hugging her back. He was wondering if they thought he had done that on purpose. Georgia asked, “What kind of car hit you?” “I wasn’t hit by a car,” Oscar said. “What happened?” Debbie asked finally releasing her hug. Oscar didn’t have much of a chance to catch his breath since Georgia stepped in to hug him. “I felt sick and collapsed,” he answered. Stepping away, Laura prepared the blood sample to take with her to a lab. She didn’t have the equipment to test the blood for the presence of drugs and would request that the lab at the hospital run the tests. While working, she listened to Oscar explain what happened to his girlfriends. His story didn’t change from what he had told her. Concerned, she looked over at him thinking, ‘Druids don’t get sick.” It was twenty minutes before Oscar was wheeled out on a gurney for a ride to the hospital for a cat scan. Laura went with him knowing that she would be present to read the scans. That was one of the nice things about wearing the Green Robe; other professionals tended to step out of the way or extend professional courtesies that went beyond the normal. Sitting beside Oscar in the back of the ambulance, Laura asked, “Tell me more about how the world appeared double to you. Was it only visual?” “I heard echoes, too,” Oscar answered after thinking about it. He’d felt so sick to his stomach by the double vision that he hadn’t been able to do much more than be sick. “Echoes?” “Yes. There was a fraction of a second delay between hearing something the first time and the second. It made it very difficult to understand what you were saying to me.” Laura shook her head knowing that a brain tumor could cause that kind of symptom. It was also possibly the effects of some psychotropic drug. She wondered if the fast recovery was the result of an intervention by the Two-Sided One. She said, “Did you know that you are the first Druid that I’ve ever treated for anything other than an injury or pregnancy?” “We’re tough old buzzards,” Oscar said with wink. He said, “We aren’t going to let some little bacteria or virus slow us down.” “Have you had a cold, flu, or allergy since you began your service?” she asked taking note of his flippant response to her observation. “Um, no. I don’t think so,” he answered. He hadn’t really thought about his health. “Have you thrown up or had diarrhea?” “No. I was constipated once,” Oscar answered. “Really?” “Well, that was because it was the first time that I had to go in front of women. That was when I first started at the college. I think it was mostly psychological.” Laura laughed at his description of the situation in which he had suffered from constipation. She understood exactly what he was saying. She said, “I hear that a lot during the first week of school.” “I’m not surprised,” Oscar said recalling that morning he had spent sitting on the toilet unable to go to the bathroom. His little joke had relieved the constipation of several students. Two hours later, Oscar stepped out of the room where they had performed the CAT scan. There were two little areas, a waiting area and a small room with the computer where Laura was studying the images on a computer. A technician and another doctor were in the room with her going over the images. Oscar looked through the door hoping to see what was on the console. When the other doctor noticed him looking through the door, he scowled and pushed the door shut with a little more force than was necessary. Irritated, Oscar waved his fist in the direction of the doctor and said, “It’s my brain. I ought to be able to see it.” It was five minutes later when the other doctor opened the door and walked past Oscar without even a glance in his direction. Although Oscar wouldn’t ever know it, the doctor had been prepared to see something remarkable since a Druid Healer was involved. The very normal looking CAT scan had been very disappointing. Of course, that wasn’t why the doctor didn’t look at Oscar. He wasn’t particularly interested in looking at a naked man. Oscar was not smiling when Laura joined him in the room. On seeing her, he said, “That was a boring waste of eight hours.” “It was only an hour,” Laura said smiling at Oscar. He was standing completely naked in the middle of the waiting room with his hands on his hips looking irritated. “The clock may have said an hour, but I know it was really eight hours,” Oscar said while stretching his muscles. To lie still for an hour had been pure torture. In the hall outside the waiting room, an elderly woman in an electric wheel chair rolled past the open door and caught a glance of Oscar. A few seconds later, she rolled past the door moving backwards while staring at Oscar with wide eyes. She came to a stop and leaned forward in an attempt to check out his package. When Oscar glanced in her direction, she hit the control on her wheelchair and moved on down the hall blushing like a schoolgirl. Ignoring the action in the hallway, he asked, “So what did you find?” “Nothing.” “Debbie keeps telling me that I don’t have a brain in my head. She’ll be glad to have medical evidence that supports her opinion” Oscar said with a laugh. Laura laughed at the intentional misunderstanding of her answer. She said, “I’ll be sure to let her know that she was right.” “Don’t tell Georgia. I’ve still got her fooled,” Oscar said with a wink. “That’s what you think,” Laura said with a laugh. Turning serious, Oscar asked, “What happened to me?” “I don’t know. I had them test your blood for every substance that could produce hallucinations. Your blood is clean,” Laura answered. Nausea, vomiting, blurred vision, and hearing problems could have been a tumor, stroke, inner ear problems, or drugs. She shrugged her shoulders and said, “It could have been something in your inner ear, but that didn’t show up in the CAT scan either.” “So what are you saying?” “I don’t think you were sick,” she answered. “What? I threw up all over myself,” Oscar said. “I’m sure that you felt sick, but I don’t think you were sick,” she said. Shaking her head, she said, “Druids live a long time. We have very healthy lives. We die from violence or a sudden heart attack. We don’t have tooth decay, our eyesight never changes, none of us loses our hearing, no cases of arthritis, no osteoporosis, and genetic diseases do not manifest themselves despite almost certain odds that they will. The men even keep their hair.” “Oh,” Oscar said surprised by the information. He hadn’t realized that she was serious when she said that she had never treated a Druid for something other than injury or pregnancy. “So if you want my opinion, you may have felt sick but you weren’t sick,” Laura said. She shrugged her shoulders and added, “Just let me know if it happens again.” “Will do,” Oscar said. He asked, “Are we ready to go?” “Well, you might want to get dressed.” “You stole my clothes back at the College,” Oscar said. “Oh, yeah,” Laura said. Not expecting to find anything, she looked around the room for something he could wear. When her expectations were confirmed, she decided that she would have to get some surgical garb from the hospital. Starting to move towards the door, she said, “I’ll go get something for you to wear.” “Thanks, although I imagine that you’ll disappoint the little old lady that has rolled past the door a dozen times,” Oscar said watching from the corner of his eye as the elderly woman rolled past the door once again. Oscar was sandwiched between Debbie and Georgia on a bed that was way too small to hold all three of them. He had his arms around them and they were lying partially on him. The result was that his arms were falling asleep. He wasn’t going to complain about his arms. Still upset that Laura hadn’t determined why Oscar had been ill, Georgia said, “That woman should know the reason why you were sick.” “Don’t talk about her like that,” Oscar said. This was not the first time that evening she had referred to Laura as ‘that woman.’ Seeing the frustration on her face, he said, “She might be right. I may not have been sick.” “Did you feel sick?” Debbie asked knowing the answer to her question. She wasn’t buying the suggestion that he hadn’t been sick. If he threw up by the side of the road for no reason, then he must have been sick. “Yes, I felt sick,” Oscar said rolling his eyes. Each time he was asked that question, it almost felt like an accusation that he wasn’t telling the truth about what had happened to him. “Then she should have found out why you were sick,” Georgia said. “She said that I may have felt sick, but that I wasn’t actually sick.” “What does that mean?” Debbie asked. She shifted so that she could look down at him. Some of the blood rushed back into his arm giving rise to unpleasant tingles. Oscar would have shrugged his shoulders had he been able to move. Instead, he stared up at the ceiling and answered, “I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the Gods and Goddesses.” “What? They thought it would be fun to watch you throw up?” “I don’t know,” Oscar answered feel exasperated with the inquisition. It wasn’t the kind of thing that the Powers That Be would do, but it sure did seem that way to Oscar. He wasn’t going to complain. If it were a result of an action by the Gods and Goddesses, then he knew that one day he would learn the reason. “I was so scared when I heard that you had been hit by a car,” Georgia said rubbing her check against his chest. “I wasn’t hit by a car.” “I know, but I didn’t know that earlier,” she said. She stuck out her tongue and licked his nipple. Debbie sighed and said, “I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. I want to grow old with you.” Touched, Oscar considered how unlikely it was that they would grow old together. As if she could read his mind, Georgia said, “We’ve decided that you are going to live forever.” “Why do you say that?” “Because the alternative is just too horrible to consider,” Debbie said.