Oscar Meyers Part 2: Academia By Lazlo Zalezac Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2005 Chapter 17 The Rabbi glanced at the clock and said, "It is almost dinner time. Go while I think about your questions." Oscar rose and left the Rabbi Teitelbaum to his thoughts. The elderly man considered Oscar while stroking his Star of David. He knew that Oscar wasn't trying to convince himself to believe in God and he wasn't trying to disprove the existence of God. Not once had Oscar even suggested that the Jewish God didn't exist. It went further than that. Oscar wasn't willing to accept the proposition that the ancient Egyptian Gods didn't exist. It made sense that he interpreted the text assuming that they did. Oscar beat the other students to the dining room and took a table in the corner. He considered the material that he had read that day. Moses was a servant of his God and, as far as he could tell, Moses had served well. "How's it going?" Looking up at the interruption to his thoughts, Oscar said, "Oh, it's you. I'm doing as well as can be expected." "You don't look that happy to see me," said the Grand Druid. Oscar sighed before answering, "It's tough reading about others who served their Gods. It is worse knowing that I am without my medallion at the moment." "I know what you mean. Each time I lost my medallion, it was like a part of me had died. The longest I went without it was three months. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to have gone for so long without yours." Flippantly, Oscar said, "You could loan me yours and I'll get it back to you in a year or so." Oliver laughed and replied, "I'm half tempted to do just that. I could use a vacation away from fellows like yourself." "Me? What did I ever do to you?" "There are times when this job is worse than herding cats." Oscar laughed and commented, "I like that - Oliver Brown, cat herder. It has a ring to it." Glaring at the Red Robed Druid, Oliver said, "Definitely worse than herding cats." "Thanks for cheering me up." "Thanks for dragging me down." Grinning, Oscar said, "Glad to be of service." Oliver threw his hands up in the air and left the table. Although he might have sounded as though he was upset, there was a grin on his face. Still laughing as the Grand Druid worked his way around the room, Oscar waited for Sandy to arrive. They'd have dinner together, just like every night. It was a few minutes before Sandy arrived at the table. She sat down while shaking her head. In a low growl of frustration, she said, "I was looking at some of the work on semiotics and I thought my brain was going to fry." “You’re studying semiotics already?” She sighed before she answered, "No, but I will. It will be a couple of years before I have to deal with that material." "How are your other classes going?" "Finally got past Socrates, so I've only got another two thousand four hundred years of philosophy to cover," she answered with a laugh. "I fear that what I'm learning predates Socrates. At the time of Moses, asking questions wasn't questioning the world. It was questioning the Gods and that wasn't viewed as a healthy activity." Sandy was silent for a moment and said, "For a lot of people, that hasn't changed." "Right. There are a lot of people who believe that asking certain questions about our existence on this planet verges on questioning God. If evolution is correct then does that mean God doesn't exist? If we accept that God still exists and evolution is correct then does that mean he isn't all-powerful? So many people want to avoid the questions that call their God into question that they want to create laws that make asking the question illegal. If they can't make the questions illegal, then they want to enforce their answers through law." "You serve the God. What do you think about questions of our origins?" Oscar sat back and thought about it for a minute. When Sandy was about to give up on getting an answer, he said, "I can't think of a better way to serve the Gods and Goddesses then by trying to understand them. How else are we to understand them if we don't try to understand their past works? I'd say that our service demands that we ask such questions and work hard to answer them." "What if the answers we come up with erode our belief in the Gods and Goddesses?" Oscar laughed and said, "I've met the God. It is rather hard for any answer a man can generate to undermine that experience. From what I've observed, people would rather limit the powers-that-be rather than accept that they can't understand their actions. "Trying to put the Gods and Goddesses into a cute little box that can be easily packaged and sold to a populace is like trying to control an earthquake. You can't control an earthquake. The Gods and Goddesses are just too powerful for us to really understand. I think people fear the idea of all powerful Gods more than the idea of not having Gods." Sandy was quiet for a minute as she thought about it. Finally, she asked, "What do you think of the proposition that attempting to expand our knowledge is really an attempt to steal the power of Gods?" "You’re making reference to Frankenstein's monster as the result of man treading in the footsteps of God?" "Exactly." "It's a question, but perhaps not the right question." Sandy looked at Oscar for a moment while considering his non-answer. She changed tack and asked, "What restrictions are there on how we go about answering questions?" "We have the two rules to guide us," answered Oscar. Looking at Sandy, Oscar said, "I think that it is important to understand the full consequences of how we go about answering questions and validating our answers to them. The moral way to answer a question is to assure that we will not harm others during the pursuit of the answer. Once we get the answers, it is up to us to assure that they are not used to against the weak." "And you know this to be true?" "No I don't know it is true, but that is my opinion. I'm just one little Druid who serves his God and may one day serve the Two-sided One," answered Oscar with a shrug of his shoulders. He wondered if it was ever possible to convey just how small and insignificant an individual was in the grand scheme of the universe. There were times when he wondered why the Gods and Goddesses even worried about the world of man. As far as he was concerned, that was the real mystery. Changing the subject, Sandy asked, "What are you studying this evening?" "Golems," answered Oscar amused at the irony. His evening class was on the legends of the Hebrews. The topic of Golems suggested that there was a time when the servants of the Hebrew God were given special powers in the same manner as the Druids. He was curious how the Rabbi would react to his thoughts on the matter. She smiled and said, "We return to the topic of Frankenstein's monster." "Constructs of mud created to serve men," Oscar said, "although creating a Golem didn't usually work out the way it was intended by their creator." "Sounds like an ancient version of robots," said Sandy. "Golems and robots are ancient and modern versions of the same story," said Oscar thinking about it. Nodding his head, he said, “It is a story that resonates with people.” “Why do we like those stories so much?” asked Sandy. In a soft voice, he said, “Golems and robots are attempts to create slaves in a manner that does not involve the strong taking advantage of the weak. I think that there is some desire in people to be served without guilt. Robots are not alive; hence there is no guilt in making them work for us.” “So you think we enjoy those stories because we want slaves?” Nodding, Oscar said, “Exactly. We can imagine much more than we can do as an individual. It takes a lot of time and effort to create something great.” “I know that we have industrial robots. Why do you think that a Druid hasn’t created a humanoid robot yet?” Oscar laughed and said, “We’re not ready for a humanoid robot. The first thing we’d do is try to have sex with it.” “Speaking of trying to have sex, here comes Debbie,” Sandy said with a twinkle in her eye. She hoped that Debbie wanted to swap rooms for the night. Debbie sat down on Oscar’s lap and wiggled. Trying to sound very prim and proper, she said, “Hello, Oscar.” “Hello Debbie,” said Oscar even as his hand slipped between her legs to let her know how much he missed her. She wiggled against his hardening cock and turned to Sandy. Smiling at his roommate, she asked, “Would you mind swapping rooms tonight?” “No problem. I was hoping you were going to ask that,” answered Sandy. The fact was that she enjoyed sleeping with Robert, Debbie’s roommate. The two of them were in the midst of developing a very nice relationship. “Don’t I have any say in the matter?” asked Oscar pretending to be hurt. His cock throbbing against her bottom told a very different story than his mouth. “No,” answered Debbie with a grin. She wiggled on his cock and, winking at Sharon, added, “Little Oscar has already spoken and he is asking why we should wait until later.” Sharon laughed and said, “I’ll have to go and ask Little Robert if I can spend the night, too.” “No need. Big Robert sent me over here to ask if we could swap rooms. It seems that there is a little romantic interest developing between you and him. Am I right?” Debbie asked. “Maybe,” Sharon answered drawing the word out and speaking in a little girl voice. She placed her hands between her legs and twisted from side to side as if she was trying to hide something. There was definitely a cat ate the canary smile on her face. “Maybe there’s a lot of romantic interest developing between you and him.” “Maybe…” Laughing at the innocent little girl pose Sharon had taken, Oscar said, “So I guess it is safe to say there might be something there.” “Maybe…” Debbie leaned over and kissed Oscar. It wasn’t a little peck on the cheek or a killer tongue down the throat type of kiss. It was just passionate enough to let him know that she couldn’t wait to visit with him later that evening. Straightening, she said, “I’ve got to get back to the group before they get suspicious that there is something between you and me.” “Ah, we wouldn’t want them to get suspicious,” agreed Oscar with a grin. There wasn’t a person anywhere on campus who didn’t know about their relationship. After Debbie left, Sandy sighed and asked, “Are you sure that she’s not bi?” “Positive,” Oscar answered. “God, I just love that long red hair, pale skin, and killer body.” Grinning, Oscar said, “That’s odd. I could say the same thing.” “Oh, you’re horrible. Here I am pining away for the sexiest woman on campus and you’re sleeping with her,” Sandy said watching Debbie walk across the room. The red head had turned and blown a kiss to Oscar even as Sandy had mentioned that he was sleeping with her. She sighed and stared wistfully at Debbie. Returning to his room after classes, Oscar was met by Debbie outside his door. She greeted him with a kiss and then said, “I think your roommate has a crush on me.” “Why do you say that?” “I’ve caught her looking at me a couple of times,” Debbie answered. “Well, there are times when I wonder if she’d rather sleep with you than with me.” “Ugh,” replied Debbie with a shiver. The whole idea of having sex with a woman disgusted her. Smiling at her reaction to the other woman’s attention to her, Oscar said, “Come on in my room and let’s have a little heterosexual joining to chase away your disgust.” “Don’t be disgusting,” teased Debbie. She wrapped an arm around his and pushed him with her hip. Oscar opened the door and he followed her into the room. She looked around and saw the small pile of books on his desk. It was practically nothing compared to the stack on her desk. She lifted her robe over her head. With that action, she was naked. The sight of her naked body had its usual effect on Oscar. Oscar pulled off his robe and approached her with his erection leading the way. Smiling at the effect she had on him, Debbie said, “I see you’re happy to see me.” Without responding, Oscar took her into his arms and kissed her. It was a long gentle kiss filled with passion and backed by a total focus on her. She melted into his arms and settled into the kiss with a sigh. Leading her to the bed, they laid down on the narrow surface. As always with Debbie, it was a soft and gentle session of lovemaking. Debbie was warm, giving, and gentle. Even her body was soft and yielding to his touch. She enveloped him with her pussy, arms and legs as he penetrated her. Even her orgasms were soft; announced with little squeaks of pleasure rather than loud screams. His thrusts were slow and gentle. He lasted a long time at the reduced pace, backing off when he came close to coming. When he would stop, Debbie would gently rub her hands up and down his back while staring deeply into his eyes. It was a totally different kind of experience being with her than with Georgia and Oscar enjoyed his times alone with her. Their lovemaking session lasted almost two hours. Afterwards, Oscar stretched out on the bed beside her. The bed was still too narrow for it to be comfortable. He stroked her body with a teasing hand. As her body reacted to his touch, he smiled and said, “I love you, Debbie.” “I love you,” she replied languishing on the bed feeling fully sated and enjoying the sensations his hands were causing. Giving him a soft smile, she said, “I love the way you make love to me.” “I feel like I could last forever when I’m with you,” replied Oscar. He leaned over and kissed her nipple. When he pulled back, the erect nipple stood as though begging for more attention. Debbie was silent for a moment and then asked, “Do you think it is wrong that I don’t want to have sex with Georgia?” “Wrong? No. It’s not your thing,” Oscar answered wondering what prompted her question. Deciding that the nipple’s stiff begging for attention should be rewarded, he adjusted his position so that he could nibble on her nipple with greater ease. The narrow bed was very frustrating. “I do love Georgia,” she said running her hand through his hair. “I know you do.” “I really do love Georgia,” Debbie said while looking down at the top of his head. Although he had agreed with her, she still felt defensive. He lifted his lips from her breasts and looked up at her with a frown. He could see that there was something bothering her, but he didn’t know what it was. Concerned, he asked, “What’s the matter?” “I don’t know. It’s just something is bothering me and …” “What?” Oscar asked turning to look at her. “I don’t know,” she answered. “Do you feel guilty that you and I are sleeping together a lot more often than Georgia and I?” Sitting up and displacing him from her breast, Debbie looked down at him with a funny expression on her face. She attempted to deny that she felt guilty, but no words would come. She tried to come up with some witty retort, but she couldn’t find one. Seeing that she was lost for words, he asked, “Are you wondering if you should do something with her so that she won’t be jealous?” Debbie wondered if he could read her mind. She nodded her head as if to answer yes, but moderated her answer by saying, “Maybe.” “So do what women all over the world do to bond.” “What?” “I don’t know. Go shopping? Take in a ballet?” Oscar asked. He turned his attention back to her nipple despite the fact that it was rather awkward now that she was sitting up. “Oscar, I’m serious,” Debbie said. Giving up on post-play, Oscar sat up tailor fashion so that he was facing Debbie. Looking at her in the eye, he said, “You have my complete attention. What’s the matter?” “Do you think she’s jealous of all the time we spend together? Do you think that she’d prefer if I didn’t come over on the weekends?” Shocked at the suggestion that she stay on the campus over the weekend, Oscar asked, “Why wouldn’t you come over on the weekends?” “So that she would get a chance to play with you without me being there,” Debbie answered. Oscar stared at Debbie for a long minute as he considered what she had said. He wasn’t the one that had to resolve the problem since taking one side over the other would only increase the tension. He said, “I’m serious about you and her doing something together. Go shopping or go to a restaurant together. You need to spend some quality time with each other so that you can talk about this with her.” Debbie thought about it and realized that in the entire time since she had come to the school she had not gone shopping. There were a lot of things that she hadn’t done since entering school. While she hadn’t missed doing them, the idea of a day out shopping with Georgia was actually attractive. She smiled and said, “You know, that might not be a bad idea.” “Good,” Oscar said as he moved to suck on her breast. “Don’t forget. My birthday is this weekend.” “Really?” Oscar asked. She had only been reminding him of that nearly every time that she saw him. He had already bought a car for her as a birthday present. Saturday morning, Oscar woke early. He slipped out of bed and looked down at Georgia and Debbie sleeping. They moved closer to each other now that he wasn’t between them. Even asleep they managed to keep some space between them. Admittedly it wasn’t much space, but it was there none the less. He snuck into the kitchen. Looking around at the room, he turned on the coffee pot knowing that it was ready to brew a pot. Georgia left the coffee pot ready to start so that Oscar wouldn’t have to load it with coffee or water in the morning. He smiled to himself and went to look for frying pans in which to make breakfast. He decided to go with a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast since he didn’t want to screw up his surprise for Debbie. He pulled out the package of bacon and opened it. Grabbing the whole slab, he dumped it in the frying pan and turned the burner to high. While the pan was heating, he got out some butter and eggs. After putting a whole stick of butter in the other frying pan, he cracked a dozen eggs into the pan. Not knowing what to do with them, he dropped the shells on the counter. He turned on the heat under the frying pan. Looking down at the pieces of eggshell floating in the egg whites, he said, “They won’t notice. When I stir the eggs, the shells will come apart.” The pan under the bacon heated up very quickly. He flipped over the slab of bacon so that it could cook on the other side. He stirred the egg mixture around so that it could cook as well. The mixture kept spilling out of the frying pan and onto the stove below. The stick of butter floated in the egg mixture. Looking at it, he said, “I better get started on the toast.” He slipped four slices of bread into the large toaster and pushed the lever down. Returning to the bacon, he saw that it was cooking really fast. He flipped the slab over so that it wouldn’t burn. The eggs were starting to cook, but they were sticking to the bottom of the frying pan. He knew he was forgetting something and looked around the kitchen for a hint. Spotting the salt container he said, “Oh, that’s what I’m missing.” He opened the spout on the salt container and poured some salt into the eggs. He left a nice thick trail of salt over the surface of the eggs. He said, “That’s a lot of eggs. Maybe I should put a little more salt on them.” After he added some more salt to the eggs, he salted the bacon. He paused and added some more salt to the bacon since it was always a little salty. He got out the pepper and shook some over the eggs. Pleased with the little pile of pepper in the middle of the eggs, he said, “Don’t want to put too much pepper on them.” The bacon was really frying under the high heat. He turned off the burner to it so that it wouldn’t burn and cause the smoke alarm to go off. The last thing he wanted to do was wake them because the smoke alarm went off. Rubbing his hands together, he said, “I’m not exactly a disaster in the kitchen.” The eggs were cooking and he stirred the mixture. There was a thin film of egg stuck to the bottom of the frying pan that was turning a dark brown. The stick of butter hadn’t quite melted yet. He fished it out and dropped it on the counter. Flustered when it skittered across the counter and fell to the floor, he turned his attention back to the eggs and stirred them around. The toast popped up and he pulled the slices out of the toaster. They were hot and he juggled them a little before dropping them onto the counter. He went over to the cabinet and removed three plates. Smiling to himself, he said, “Debbie is going to be so surprised that I cooked breakfast for her. I can’t wait to see the expression on her face when I serve breakfast in bed to the birthday girl.” He looked at the slab of bacon in the middle of the frying pan. Using a fork, he separated it into slices destroying most of them in the process. He piled the best three slices on the plate for Debbie. They were raw in the center and burnt along the edges. He wondered how most people were able to cook them all of the way through. He dumped a third of the eggs on the plate. It was a very large pile of scrambled eggs. Looking down at the pile, he said, “Maybe I shouldn’t have used all of the eggs.” He fixed the other two plates with food. Putting the food on the tray, he looked at the result with a frown and said, “Something is missing.” It took him several seconds to realize that there wasn’t any coffee. He poured a cup and set it on the tray. Looking down at the plate with pride, he said, “She’s going to love this.” He picked up the tray and started to leave the kitchen. He stopped and went back to the counter. He had forgotten to get forks. He put a fork on each tray and headed towards the bedroom. Entering, he said, “Rise and shine, birthday girl. Breakfast in bed!” Georgia and Debbie would have just continued to sleep except for the comment about breakfast in bed. The thought that he had been in the kitchen filled them both with dread and woke them with the same jarring suddenness as if someone had shouted fire. Both of the women turned and looked over at Oscar with expressions of horror on their faces. Smiling at the looks on their faces, Oscar handed the tray to Debbie and said, “Here you go. I’ll be right back with a tray for Georgia.” He turned and ran out of the room. Debbie stared at the mess on the tray. The bacon was raw in the center and burned along the edges. The eggs were runny and the toast was dry. The idea of actually eating the mess scared her. Looking over at Georgia, she asked, “What am I supposed to do?” With an expression of horror on her face, Georgia answered, “Uh, eat it?” Oscar came into the room and handed a tray to Georgia. Standing at the foot of the bed, he said, “Breakfast in bed for the two most beautiful women in the world!” Stealing herself, Debbie picked up the fork and scooped up some of the egg. With an expression of dread on her face, she put the egg in her mouth. The heavy dose of salt nearly brought tears to her eyes. Her entire body shook in disgust as she chewed. With extraordinary will, she managed to swallow without spitting the eggs onto her plate. She drank half the cup of hot coffee trying to get the taste out of her mouth. “So how is it?” At a loss for words, she answered, “Interesting. Why don’t you get your breakfast?” A very happy Oscar headed out of the room. Turning to Georgia, Debbie said, “Oh… My… God…” “Bad?” “It’s horrible. Take a bite,” Debbie answered. Swallowing heavily, Georgia took a little of the egg. She was fortunate in that her bite didn’t have any eggshells. That was the only luck that she had. Without Oscar in the room, she had no problems with spitting out the horrible tasting food. She drank half of her coffee. Oscar returned to the bedroom and settled down between the two women. Smiling, he took a big forkful of eggs. Looking over at Debbie, he said, “I bet I surprised you with this.” “Surprised is barely the word I would use for it,” Debbie said plastering a smile on her face. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. The idea that he would soon taste the eggs brought a real smile to her face. Before he had a chance to put the eggs in his mouth, Georgia asked, “So how much salt did you use?” “Not much,” answered Oscar. He slipped the fork into his mouth and started to chew. Tears came to his eyes. His entire body shook. Unable to hold back his reaction, he spit out the eggs and shouted, “That’s horrible!” His exclamation broke the control the two women had imposed on their reaction to his masterpiece. Debbie and Georgia started to laugh. Barely able to speak, Debbie said, “Armageddon.” “Definitely,” Georgia agreed. She looked at the bacon and said, “I wouldn’t try the bacon. It’s basically raw.” “I’m sorry. I just wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed on your birthday,” Oscar said disappointed in the results of his cooking. Kissing him on the cheek, Debbie said, “It’s the thought that counts.” Disappointed that his great surprise had turned into a disaster, Oscar got up and carried his tray to the kitchen. The entire mess was inedible and he knew it. As he left the room, he muttered, “I should have gotten a couple of MREs.” Looking down at the tray on her lap, Georgia said, “I thought it was impossible to ruin scrambled eggs.” “I know what you mean,” Debbie said as she looked at the tray on her lap. She wondered how many eggs he had cooked. She smiled and then added, “At least the coffee was good.” Oscar made two more trips to remove the trays. The woman kept breaking out in laughter each time he left the room. Hugging Debbie, Georgia said, “Stay here. I’ll make us some breakfast and you can eat it in bed.” A horrible thought occurred to Debbie and she said, “I wonder what the kitchen looks like.” Both women raced out of the bedroom.