Oscar Meyers Part 2: Academia By Lazlo Zalezac Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2005 Chapter 16 "You're kidding?" "No, I'm sorry. That's how the assignments worked out," answered Oliver. He had said that phrase a dozen times to a dozen other students. He expected to give the same answer a dozen more times before the day was over. "This is ridiculous," declared Oscar frustrated beyond belief. They had just returned from the visit with his parents and had learned of their room assignments. "You can't have Debbie as a roommate. She is rooming with another Chemistry major," explained Oliver. He hadn't expected to have this conversation with Oscar believing that he would have understood the reasons behind assigning roommates based on major. "I'm the only one majoring in Religious Studies, so how did I end up with Sandy?" asked Oscar. "She's a philosophy major," answered Oliver. It made sense to put a philosophy major with him. Not exactly happy with the resolution of his problem, Oscar said, "I'll explain it to Debbie." Stepping out of the office, Oscar considered the situation. It was the beginning of the second year and he was rooming with a woman he didn't know well. Debbie was rooming with another man. The fact that they had opposite gender roommates didn't bother him since jealousy didn't have a place on campus, much less in his life. It was just that he wanted to have Debbie for a roommate. Oscar shook his head wondering if he'd ever get a chance to live with the women he loved. He consoled himself that at least he had weekends with Debbie and Georgia. The chance to relax on the weekends would be welcomed. His course load for the quarter was grueling and he doubted it would be better over the rest of the year. Three of his five classes were on Judaism. They were all with the same professor and he was the only student in the class. One of his classes was the mandatory introduction to law. His last class of the day was philosophy. There was not much of a chance that he could show up unprepared for any of them and get away with it. When Oscar stepped into the hallway, Debbie took one look at his face and knew what Oliver had said. There was nothing they could do about it; she was rooming with Robert and Oscar was rooming with Sandy. Putting her hand on his arm, she said, "I'm disappointed too. I was looking forward to waking up with you every morning." "Same here, but I understand why they do it," said Oscar. It gave another resource to a student to use while achieving mastery of their area of study. He sighed and said, "I understand that we'll change roommates in year. Maybe then we'll be able to room together." "Do you really think so?" Debbie asked. She didn't think there was a chance of that until the final year. "Not really," said Oscar. Putting an arm around her, he said, "Let's go to the dining room and get a cup of coffee. We've got a little time before we meet with our study groups." "Do you have study groups for all of your classes?" "Nope, I only have two of them. One for law and one for philosophy," answered Oscar. "That's rough. You've got to manage three classes without support from your fellow students," Debbie said feeling sorry for him. The study groups provided far more than just clarification of material - they helped develop the ability to discuss and argue fine points about the material. Passing fellow classmates in the hall, Oscar made his way to the second year dining hall. Like other second year students, he was dressed, but while they wore blue robes he was wearing his red robe. It felt strange to be around his classmates while wearing his robe as it set him apart. Likewise, it was strange encountering his classmates while they were wearing robes. One of the more surprising consequences of everyone wearing robes was that it introduced a minor delay in recognizing them. It was as if everyone was suddenly wearing a veil that hid the distinguishing characteristics by which he recognized them. Other students had made the same observation. On reaching the dining hall, Oscar stopped to consider his surroundings. The second year dining hall was laid out in a very different fashion from the first year dining hall. All of the tables seated four, they were close together, and the room was more open. It was as if the room itself told people they had to talk soft so as to prevent imposing on others around them. Standing next to Oscar, Debbie looked around the room and said, "It's like they are splitting up our groups." "Last year we learned to respect and rely upon each other. Maybe this year we are being forced to be a little more self-reliant," said Oscar recognizing what would happen as a result of the layout of the room. Gone were the morning meals with nine or ten people working together to make the lives of their roommates easier. The couple sat down at a table and looked at the menu. It was the same menu as in the first year dining room. Smiling, Debbie said, "At least they didn't take away our favorite foods." "That's next year," said Oscar winking at her. Debbie laughed at the obvious joke. She asked, “What happens the year after that, sex change operations?” The couple laughed as they exchanged yearly programs of increasing torture. Gabby entered the dining room and immediately headed towards them. She didn’t look happy, but at least she wasn’t angry. Sitting down at their table, she asked, "What are you laughing about?" "Just discussing what next year will be like," answered Debbie. "I'm not too happy about the sleeping arrangements. Cole and I aren't sharing a room. What about you guys?" Oscar understood and shared her frustration about the room arrangements. He said, "We're sharing our rooms, just not with each other." "They sure are making it tough to be a couple," said Gabby. "I heard one of the Druids tell a student that the college wasn't a dating service, but a center of learning," commented Debbie. She examined her hands for a second and then added, "I think there is more truth in that statement than most students realize." "Yeah, I know what you mean. Cole wasn't surprised by the room arrangements. He mentioned that Druids love more people and the people they love are loved more deeply. I'm pretty sure that the sleeping arrangements are intended to teach us how to value the time we spend with those we love and to love those with whom we spend time," said Gabby. "But you're not happy about that," said Oscar. "I'm not selfish about our love. I'm just upset I don't get to spend more time with him," said Gabby. She was still looking for a woman to join them to form a triad. Looking at Oscar, she added, "So is Cole." The waitress came over to the table and introduced herself, "Hello. I'm Yolanda." Oscar, pointing out the people as he named them, said, "The gorgeous red head is Debbie and that's Gabby. I’m Oscar." Yolanda said, "Nice to meet you all." "Thanks," said Oscar as Gabby elbowed him. Turning to the two women, Yolanda could see that they were both a little upset. It was to be expected. She said, "Now, don't be so glum. You'll settle into the new routine in no time." "We're just upset that we're not rooming with our boyfriends," said Gabby. "Oh, that. Don't worry. Your relationships with your boyfriends will deepen and you'll find that your relationships with your other friends will deepen as well," said Yolanda with a smile. Every year since she had started working in the second year dining room, she had watched the same dramas unfold. Having seen it often enough, she knew how the various dramas usually ended. "We were just talking about that," said Debbie. Glancing at Oscar, Yolanda said, "Well, you were smart to find a Druid to talk with." Oscar laughed at her comment and said, "I'm a student here, too." "I doubt that changes the fact that you're a Druid," said Yolanda with a wry grin. After learning that all they wanted were coffees, she fetched three cups and a decanter of fresh brewed coffee. Oscar acted as host as Debbie and Gabby discussed their expectations for the coming school year. When Gabby spotted Cole, she said her farewells and left to be with him. Oscar looked at Debbie and said, “We need to talk about our roommates.” “You’re right.” After a long discussion with Debbie over several cups of coffee, Oscar made his way towards his new room while stopping at one of the bathrooms on the way. He smiled when he looked around the bathroom. The first thing he noticed there was a lot more privacy with the stalls actually having walls. He used the urinal and then washed his hands. He passed a fellow student entering the bathroom as he headed out the door. Oscar stepped aside and allowed the one with the more urgent need to pass. Entering his new dorm room, Oscar found Sandy seated at her desk looking over a small stack of papers. He took note of her long hair in which the top half was a solid black and the bottom half was blond. It was a consequence of not having hair dye and was actually a pretty common sight on campus. She wasn't the only woman with a two-tone coiffure running around the place. In a friendly voice, he said, "Hello, Sandy." "Hi, Oscar," said Sandy as she spun around in her chair to look at her new roommate. She was looking forward to living with Oscar. It didn’t bother her that he'd rather have Debbie as a roommate. She knew and accepted the relationship. Reaching back, she put down the papers and looked at him. "I hope you don't mind that I took the left side of the room." "I don't mind," said Oscar. The two sides of the room were identical and there was no reason to prefer one to the other. When he had dropped his stuff off earlier, he’d set them beside the door in the hope that it was a transitory situation. "I bet you're upset that you're not rooming with Debbie. Maybe we can occasionally swap roommates," said Sandy. "Thanks. Should you have a need, I'll be glad to return the favor," said Oscar appreciating her thoughtfulness. Sandy laughed and, making reference to the fact that he stayed off campus on weekends, said, "Don't worry about me. I'll have the weekends to entertain visitors." "True," said Oscar as he looked around the room. Looking at all of his robes and his books on the floor, he knew that he was here to stay and would have to unpack them. He knelt down and picked up his stack of robes. Sandy was quiet for a minute before she asked, "Do you mind if I ask you an awkward question?" "Ask away," answered Oscar as he put his robes in a small cabinet that was there for that purpose. "What kind of roommate relationship do you want?" she asked. A year ago, asking a question like that on first meeting her roommate would have been totally beyond her. "It's not so much what I want, it is what would allow us to be comfortable," said Oscar turning to face Sandy. Trying to gauge her reaction to his words, he said, "I'm willing to make what ever kind of accommodation you would like." Smiling at his answer, Sandy said, "I like a little sex before going to bed at night. I find that it helps me sleep better." "Sounds reasonable to me," said Oscar. He actually preferred evening sex to morning sex since there wasn't morning breath and a full bladder to get in the way. "Will that upset Debbie?" Smiling in appreciation at her consideration for Debbie, Oscar answered, "We talked about it over coffee. Last year we had sex with our roommates and handled it. We figured that it was basically a given that we'd have sex with our roommates this year. It is not a problem." "I'm glad," answered Sandy. Now it was time to ask the question she had been dying to ask since she learned that Oscar would be her room mate. Biting her lower lip, she said, "I know that you have two girlfriends, Debbie and Georgia. Is Debbie bi?" "Not at all," answered Oscar. He knew that Debbie wouldn't mind him answering the question. In this particular circumstance, it was no more personal than asking if she was a redhead. Her face fell as a fantasy of sleeping with Debbie and Oscar collapsed. Puzzled at his answer, she asked, "How can that be?" "She isn't interested in having sex with a woman," answered Oscar. "But, they are both your girlfriends. Something has to happen when you're in bed together," said Sandy. "Not at all. They don’t touch each other in any way," answered Oscar. He understood their feelings on the matter and respected them. It complicated his life, but it didn't make his life uncomfortable. "They don't like each other?" asked Sandy incredulous at what she was learning. "They love each other like sisters. That doesn't mean that they have to make love to each other," said Oscar as he moved over to his desk. He hadn’t even unpacked his books yet and there was already a stack of papers on the desk. Curious, he picked up the stack of papers. "I guess," said Sandy although she didn’t quite believe it. Seeing what he was doing, she said, "You better look through the papers. Apparently, we have a few more freedoms now that we've survived a year of school." Oscar sat down at the desk and examined the first page. He noticed that there was now a provision for all second year students to leave campus on the weekends. He was pleased to see that there was a free bus service to and from town. Surprised by what he was reading, he said, "We have a monthly allowance of ten dollars." "Yeah. I guess they want us to be able to eat while we're in town. I know it won't go far, but I'm happy with it." "We now have some personal possessions. Let's see, we can now carry identification, debit cards, and a wallet." "No purse, though," said Sandy. Even as she said it, she realized that she had never seen a Druid carry a purse or a briefcase. She wondered if there was a reason for that. "We have to wear our robes when we're off campus," said Oscar reading the next item. "Yes. We aren't allowed to have sex with the locals." "Makes sense. There's no way over a short period of time to understand all of the implications of a relationship in town. It wouldn't take much to create a lot of harm," said Oscar wondering how Oliver was going to enforce that rule. She listed off a couple of the easy cases where they could do harm. "It’s too easy to destroy a marriage because a married person lies to us. We can incite jealousy in one of the locals when they learn that we're sleeping with others." "Our fellow students becoming targets of rape on the belief that we're easy," added Oscar. Frowning at the idea of rape, Sandy said, "I didn't even think of that one." "I know," said Oscar. Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "We're most often blind to the motives of others who might want to harm us." The next day was the first day of classes. Having finished his Introduction to Law class, Oscar went to his class on the Torah. The class was being held in one of the private offices one the second floor of the administration building. It took him so time to locate the classroom and he arrived a few minutes late. Oscar took a seat in one of the two chairs around the table and examined the man seated across from him. The man appeared to be in his late sixties or early seventies, although he was actually in his eighties. He wore a bekishe (a long black coat), a fedora, and a gartel (a prayer belt). The curly sideburns known as payot, the long gray beard that bordered on being white, and his clothes identified him as a Hasidic Jew. Rabbi Isreal Teitelbaum looked down at the table and studied the piece of paper in front of him. He couldn't believe that the college was paying him to teach one student for the full year. He looked up at Oscar and studied the young man. In a very strong accent, he asked, "How'd a nice Jewish boy like you get hooked up with pagans?" Sitting back in his chair, Oscar smiled at the question. A lot of people made the assumption that he was Jewish based on his name. He answered, "I've never been Jewish." "What? With a name like Meyers? Are you kidding?" "Not at all. If there was a Jew in my family, it was a long time ago." "So you are one of these Druids," said Rabbi Isreal Teitelbaum in a manner that bordered on a question. He could see by the red robe that Oscar was a Druid, but he was not expecting to have a Druid for a student. "I am one of those Druids," answered Oscar with a grin. Rabbi Isreal Teitelbaum shook his head. He couldn't help wonder if he was going to be arguing religion with Oscar for the whole year. He had signed up to teach the Torah, Jewish Mysticism, and the history of his people, not to argue with a Druid. Frowning, he said, "I must talk to your Grand Druid about this. I thought he was an honorable man." "What's the problem?" asked Oscar wondering why someone would question the honor of the Grand Druid. "He told me that I was to teach, not debate religion," answered the man indignant at the perceived trick that had been played upon him. This went far to explain why he wasn't teaching Hebrew to the young man. "I'm here to learn, not to debate," said Oscar leaning forward to emphasize his point. Although he didn't have a burning desire to be a religious scholar, he was going to do his best at becoming one. "Then you need to learn Hebrew." "I know Hebrew. I know Aramaic, Greek, and Latin. I also know a dozen other languages that were contemporary with the events in the Torah," answered Oscar. Looking down at his hands, he said, "It was a gift from the God." "A dozen other languages?" asked the Rabbi. It was clear from his tone of voice that he didn't believe Oscar. "I also speak Yiddish." "I'll take your word for it," answered the old man. He didn't like the reference to the God in Oscar's earlier answer. Deciding that it was time to present the best evidence that he had concerning his mastery of ancient languages, Oscar placed a binder on the table. It contained the paper he had written for his literature class. In a slow and leisurely manner, he pushed it across to the Rabbi. In a soft voice, he said, "This was a paper I wrote last year. It should demonstrate my ability with language." Rabbi Isreal Teitelbaum opened the binder and looked at the title page. He had read the manuscript as part of the pre-publication activities in his role as an internationally recognized scholar on the Torah. He had thought the paper was one of the best examinations of Genesis he had ever encountered. Shocked, he looked up at Oscar unable to believe he was looking at the author of such a magnificent piece of work. He had believed that Oscar Meyers was a Rabbi who was at least sixty years old and presenting his life's work. Stunned, he asked, "You wrote this?" "Yes, I did," answered Oscar. He proceeded to explain the circumstances under which he had worked. When he mentioned that he had taken less than a month to do the research for the paper, the Rabbi got excited. "We have three classes every day. It is my understanding that you would normally have a study group that meets after class. Since you are alone, we shall use that time together," said Rabbi Isreal Teitelbaum getting over his reluctance concerning working with a Druid. If the young man had actually written that paper in a month, then Oscar was the best prospective student he had ever encountered. The announcement didn't exactly thrill Oscar. Rather than answer, he said, "Okay, we'll give it a try." "Don't look so unhappy. I will teach you to be a real scholar," said the Rabbi. Even as he said it, he knew that it wouldn't be a difficult leap for Oscar. The problem was that he only had a year in which to teach Oscar. Men spent a lifetime studying the Torah. What was a year compared to a lifetime? Nothing and it would require a fulltime effort to make up the deficit if the young man was as brilliant as his paper suggested. "Thank you." Switching to Hebrew, he said, "Go and wash your hands. When you return, I will allow you to read a copy of the Torah. However, I must warn you that it must remain here." At Oscar's raised eyebrows, the Rabbi Isreal Teitelbaum added, "I don't care if you are a Druid, you shall display proper respect for the Torah." "I was not expressing surprise at having to wash my hands. I was expecting you to tell me that I would have to follow all of the rituals associated with studying the Torah. If I understand correctly, we are supposed to say prayers even as we prepare to read the Torah." Rubbing a small gold Star of David tied to his gartel, Rabbi Isreal Teitelbaum reveled in the warm assurance it emitted. His God had given it to him many years earlier. It told him that he could not insist on the rituals. In a fatherly voice, he said, "Go wash your hands and we shall talk about the matter." Oscar entered the dining room exhausted from have spent nearly four uninterrupted hours with the Rabbi. He still had an hour of philosophy and an hour of study group after dinner. The schedule had sounded rough, but he was still taken by surprise. He looked around and noticed that Debbie was seated with a couple of other chemistry majors. Disappointed, he could see that she was busy discussing her class material and it wouldn't be appropriate for him to interrupt their conversation. He took a seat at one of the tables and ordered a meal from the waitress. Looking around the room, he saw that he was the only one eating alone. Of course, he was the only one majoring in Religious Studies. The majority of students were majoring in the hard sciences, engineering, and medical fields. His thoughts were disturbed by the sudden appearance of Sandy and her greeting. "Hello, Roomy." "Hi, Sandy." "I guess we're dinner partners, too," she commented looking around the room at all of the other students clustered together in groups of twos, threes, and fours. "Yeah, I guess so," answered Oscar. He could hear the students at the table next to his discussing some physics problem they had been assigned for homework. He turned to Sandy and asked, "So why Philosophy?" "I want to understand the world around me," answered Sandy. She shrugged her shoulders and added, "Physics is concerned with the physical world, biology with the living world, geology with the earth, astronomy with the universe, sociology with the people, and religion with the powers that be. Somehow, I just figured that since Philosophy was concerned with the world of ideas, that it would give me insights across a greater range of topics than any of the other subjects." "Sounds reasonable to me," said Oscar. He hadn't really thought about the matter and wasn’t going to argue. "Philosophy is the mother of all sciences." "It seems that I heard something to that effect in my Philosophy class this morning,” Oscar said with a smile. "You'll probably be taking a class or two with me over the course of this year," said Sandy speculating on the courses they would be taking. "Maybe," said Oscar. He noticed Rabbi Teitelbaum headed towards his table and released a slight groan. When Sandy raised an eyebrow in question, he said, "My instructor for three classes appears to be headed this way." The Rabbi sat down and said, "Amazing. They actually turned a section of the kitchen Kosher so they could prepare my meals for me." "Of course, we'd never undermine the service of a man to his God," replied Oscar without surprise by the announcement. The Rabbi looked at Oscar and shook his head. Tolerance among religions was rare and the history of his people was filled with examples of intolerance. Frowning, he considered the idea that it was a two way street. There was a lot of Jewish hostility towards Islam. He said, "I find that to be a rather amazing concept to be expressed in the center of a religious stronghold like this." "Why? We know the Gods and Goddesses exist. We understand that each of the powers-that-be expect certain things from those who follow them. Those expectations establish and distinguish each group of followers from each other. It separates, but does not elevate one group over another," said Oscar. "You sound so sure that the Gods and Goddesses exist," said the Rabbi. Pointing to the Star of David, Oscar said, "I recognize the power of that. You are as sure of your God as I am of mine and for the same reason. We both have met our Gods."