Oscar Meyers
Part 2: Academia
By 
Lazlo Zalezac
Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2005

Chapter 15

Oscar looked at his bank statement while Georgia smiled at the 
expression on his face. She said, "You have a year of military pay 
and two years of consulting fees in there. My sister negotiated a 
six-figure salary for you. I think you are still on the payroll. Didn't 
you fill out your income taxes?"

"Yeah, but…"

"You didn't think about the fact that you haven't spent a dime of 
your own money in over three years," Georgia said. 

"There's over two hundred thousand dollars in here," said Oscar 
waving the statement around as if it was in error. 

"So I take it that you're going to buy us nice birthday presents this 
year," suggested Debbie with a wink at Georgia.

"Of course," Oscar said absently. He thought about it for a minute 
and then asked, "When are your birthdays?"

Debbie stared at Georgia in shock. She asked, "Do you mean to tell 
me that you two have been going together for more than two years 
and he doesn't know your birthday?"

"Uh, yeah," Georgia answered. She hadn't given it much thought. 
Her first birthday had passed while they were in Afghanistan. They 
were busy and she hadn't even known the day of the week, much 
less the date, most of the time she spent there. The last birthday 
they were still getting settled into the college. She shrugged and 
said, "I don't know when his birthday is either."

Looking from Georgia to Oscar, Debbie shook her head. In a tone 
of voice that would not allow argument, she said, "My birthday is 
October 3. You will remember it and you will buy me presents. I 
also insist on cake. I will remind you daily starting two weeks prior 
to that date. Do I make myself clear?"

Smiling, Oscar turned to Georgia and asked, "Did she say it was 
the Fourth of July?"

"I thought she said Labor Day."

"Oh! You two are impossible!" screamed Debbie. She couldn't 
believe that the two of them had been together for two years and 
hadn't celebrated their birthdays. "What day did you two become a 
couple?"

"Huh?" asked Oscar. He tried to put a date to it and failed. 

"It was summer," said Georgia looking to Oscar for confirmation. 
To save her life, she couldn't put a beginning date to their 
relationship. 

"Definitely. I'd almost say it was near the end of summer. August, 
maybe," said Oscar.

"Sounds about right," said Georgia. She looked over at Debbie and 
saw the expression on her face. She burst out laughing and asked, 
"So what date did our relationship start?"

"Well, it kind of got off to a rocky start and we've never really had 
an official date, so you can't use that as the beginning of our 
relationship. I suppose if you consider the day he returned from 
…" Debbie's voice trailed off as she tried to select a date.

Trying to be helpful, Oscar asked, "So why don't we just select the 
first of September as our official start of relationship date?" 

Georgia looked over at Debbie and said, "I'd rather the use the first 
of February. That's about the time when Oscar returned from the 
Middle East the last time. You might say that was the real 
beginning for the three of us."

Debbie nodded and said, "Yes. That sounds good to me."

"Fine," said Oscar wondering to what he had just agreed. Looking 
at Georgia, he asked, "What's the importance of having a start of 
relationship date?"

Georgia shrugged and looked over at Debbie for an answer. The 
young woman tossed her red hair in exasperation and said, "You 
two have to be the most unromantic people on this planet. You 
have an anniversary date to celebrate when you met."

"I celebrate having met you every day," answered Oscar honestly 
puzzled. He looked at Debbie and asked, "Don't you?"

"Well, yeah… but…, I don't know," she declared feeling confused 
by the question. She decided that it was time to change the topic 
and asked, "So when are your birthdays?"

"January forth," Georgia answered. 

"May first," Oscar answered, "but I don't really like to celebrate it."

"January fourth and May first," repeated Debbie committing the 
dates to memory.

"So I guess we have more than enough money to fly all of us out to 
my parents," said Oscar looking down at the bank statement in his 
hand. He read the balance one more time and shook his head. He 
decided they could fly first class.

"Where are we going?" asked Georgia.

Feeling uneasy about Oscar paying for her ticket, Debbie said, "I'll 
pay my own way."

"Kansas City, Missouri," answered Oscar, "and I'll pay for the 
tickets. I don't have any other use for the money."

"What about a house?"

"If I remember correctly, my contract is for three more years. By 
then, you'll be working as a Chemist and earning more than 
Georgia and I combined," answered Oscar with a wink at Georgia.

"True," Debbie said with a grin. She knew better than to argue 
about that. She'd heard the kinds of salaries earned by previous 
graduates of the Druid College and Oscar would definitely have to 
get a considerable raise to meet her expected salary. 

"I'm just a boy toy for a red hair woman!"

A week after that conversation, the trio strode down the concourse 
at the Kansas City International Airport. They had flown first class. 
It was the first time for each of them to sit at the front of the plane. 
The reintroduction of first class by a number of airlines had not 
constituted an improvement in service or comfort. 

They made quite an impact walking through the airport. Oscar's 
red robe attracted immediate attention from other passengers, but 
the attention quickly shifted to Debbie in her blue robe with a 
single white stripe on the sleeve. Georgia, walking next to Oscar, 
received her fair share of attention because of her beauty. 

Although Oscar had only been through the airport once, he 
directed them towards the luggage claim area where his parents 
were supposed to be waiting. When they stepped out, he relaxed 
when he saw his dad. 

Upon spotting his son, the elder Meyers waved his arms while 
jumping up and down. In a voice that carried across the entire area, 
he shouted, "Hey, Oscar! Over here!"

The man was an older version of Oscar, but just a little taller and 
with a little more weight around the middle. His hair was trimmed 
in a buzz cut. The Druid smiled and said, "That's my dad."

Georgia giggled realizing where Oscar had inherited his looks and 
grabbed his arm. She liked his father even though she hadn't even 
met him yet. In a voice that was just loud enough for the three of 
them to hear, she said, "He looks just like you."

"Only better," teased Debbie. Her comment was followed by a 
laugh provoked by the look on Oscar's face.

His father rushed up and took a look at the three of them. Excited 
by the red robe, he said, "I'm so glad you could come here for a 
visit. Is that all your luggage?"

Oscar held up his small carry-on bag while he answered, "I've got 
two robes and some underwear in here. Most of this is Georgia's."

Looking demure with wide-eyed innocence, Debbie said, "You 
brought underwear? I wish I had thought of that."

A red blush spread over his Dad's face as Oscar laughed. He knew 
Debbie was joking, but her comment had definitely embarrassed 
his father. Oscar leaned over and whispered, "Do you want me to 
climb under your robe and check it out?"

Debbie laughed and said, "Not until we get someplace more 
private."

"Allow me to introduce you to Jacob Meyers, my father. Dad, this 
lovely red head who just turned your face the same color as her 
hair is Debbie Bond. The lovely lady on my other arm is Georgia," 
said Oscar proudly.

Looking from one attractive woman to the other, Jacob said, "It's a 
pleasure to meet you both. If I understand it correctly, both of you 
are his girlfriends?"

"You understood correctly," answered Georgia still hanging onto 
Oscar's arm.

"Damn boy. I don't know how you do it. I've got one woman in my 
life and can't handle it. I've even got twenty three years of 
experience trying," said Jacob with a wink.

Glancing to his left and right, Oscar replied, "Who said I was 
handling it?"

"Just remember that buddy. We control your life," growled 
Georgia realizing that she was slipping into her George persona as 
a result of her nervousness at meeting his family.

"Let me get you to the house. You're mother is cooking up a storm. 
She figures that you've been eating nothing but horrible college 
food," Jacob said pointing towards the airport exit.

As the three fell in beside the elder Meyers, Oscar said, "Actually, 
our food is pretty good at the college. Last night, I had a T-bone 
steak that was cooked to perfection."

"T-Bone Steak? At College?" asked Jacob nearly tripping as he 
turned to look at Oscar while walking. He'd gone to the University 
of Missouri and couldn't recall ever having steak on campus. He 
recalled the food as being mainly hamburgers, pizza, fried chicken, 
and several varieties of mystery meat.

"Yeah. They actually have very good food. I had grilled swordfish 
last night," said Debbie. 

"Really? College must have changed a lot from when I went 
there."

"The Druid College is rather different than most colleges," said 
Georgia. She felt a lot of pride at being affiliated with the school, 
even if all she did was work there.

"You aren't a student there, are you?" 

"No. I work in administration. I already have a college degree and 
couldn't attend with Oscar when we returned from Afghanistan. 
Rather than separate for six years, I took a job there."

"That's right. You served with him in the Army," recalled Jacob. 
Oscar had never told him much about what he did in Afghanistan. 
As far as he knew, he'd been part of some top-secret anti-terrorist 
company. Where Georgia had fit into the whole picture was rather 
confusing.

"We weren't in the Army. We were consultants for the Army," 
Georgia said. 

They reached Jacob's car, a simple sedan, after a short walk 
through the parking lot. After a lot of discussion, Oscar ended up 
in the front seat with his father while the two women sat in the 
back. As Jacob pulled out of the parking lot, he said, "We're in 
Missouri just northwest of downtown Kansas City. Across the river 
is Kansas, but we won't be crossing the river today. We'll be 
driving on the 495 and get off on 35 to Liberty. That's where we 
live, Liberty."

It only took half an hour to reach the Meyers' home. The house 
was a typical three-bedroom ranch located in a nice middle class 
neighborhood. It looked like every other house on the street. When 
they pulled into the driveway, Debbie said, "What a lovely 
neighborhood."

"Thanks, we like it," Jacob said.

Oscar grabbed all three of their bags and followed behind his 
girlfriends. They entered the house behind Jacob who bellowed out 
their arrival. A second later there was a loud screech from the 
kitchen and Oscar's mother, June, came running out. She stopped 
upon seeing the two women and wiped her hands on her apron. 
Having watched Oscar grow up without having a girlfriend, she 
was stunned at the appearance of the two women. She said, "You 
are so beautiful. My Oscar is such a lucky boy."

Oscar blushed and, pointing to the individuals as he identified 
them, said, "Mom, I'd like you to meet Georgia and Debbie. 
Ladies, this wonderful woman is my mother, June."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," said Georgia.

Taking June's hand in hers, Debbie said, "It is such a pleasure to 
finally meet Oscar's mother. I have to admit that Georgia and I are 
very curious about what Oscar was like as a child. He must have 
been a really cute little boy."

"I'd love to show you Oscar's baby pictures after dinner," June said 
still unable to believe that Oscar had two such beautiful women in 
his life.

Jacob burst out laughing at the expression of dread that settled on 
Oscar's face and slapped his son on the back. He said, "You're 
gonna have so much fun this visit."

The table was set for five with a place at the head of the table for 
Jacob. After a significant amount of discussion, it was decided that 
Oscar would sit next to his mother while the women sat across 
from them. When Georgia had looked at the one remaining chair, 
Jacob said, "What ever you do, don't sit in the chair on the end. 
Oscar broke it."

"He did?"

June leaned forward and said, "I'm sure that you've noticed that 
Oscar is a little clumsy at times."

"A little clumsy? Oscar's a walking disaster area," corrected Jacob. 
He pointed to the lamp and said, "That's about the only thing he 
hasn't broken in this house. I'm still fixing things in this house that 
he broke and he's been gone for more than three years."

Shrugging, Oscar said, "I don't know if you've noticed that I 
haven't broken anything, yet."

"You haven't been in the kitchen yet," Georgia said. 

Debbie leaned forward as if telling a great secret and said, "He's 
not clumsy anymore except when he's in the kitchen. We don't let 
him in the kitchen."

"Smart," June said. "That room was out of bounds for Oscar since 
he was three. I've still got the burn marks from when he knocked 
over a pot of soup." 

"We've decided that the real translation of Armageddon is - Oscar 
is in the kitchen," said Debbie with a giggle. The fact that the 
kitchen had been out of bounds for Oscar explained why he was so 
unfamiliar with the items in the kitchen. 

June and Jacob burst out laughing at the joke. They'd spent years 
fixing the havoc left behind by Oscar. After Jacob calmed down a 
little, he said, "I'm sorry to laugh at you Oscar, it's just that's too 
funny."

"Don't worry about it. We've had a lot of fun coming up with 
definitions for Armageddon and I've laughed at most of them."

"So you aren't clumsy anymore?" asked June wondering if he'd 
finally learned grace.

"I haven't tripped or stumbled since I began my service to the 
God," answered Oscar. He glanced at Debbie and corrected 
himself. "Well, at least when I'm out of the kitchen."

"I thought you'd learn a little grace in the Army," Jacob said.

"Oh, I was a disaster in the Army. My nickname was Private Fu."

"Private Fu?" asked Jacob.

"Yeah. It was short for Private Fuck Up," answered Oscar eyeing 
the food on the table with hunger. 

Noticing the look, Jacob said, "Let's eat and over dinner you can 
tell us all about your adventures in Afghanistan and Iran."

Dinner was pot roast with potatoes and carrots complete with 
glasses of milk. It wasn't gourmet food, but simple food that tasted 
good. As they ate, Georgia told Oscar's parents about their time in 
Afghanistan. His parents listened in shock, amazed at the 
description of the last battle in Afghanistan. It was the first time 
they'd heard the story. The only thing they knew about his service 
to the God was his action with Ed Biggers and that was because it 
was on the news. 

Unable to believe what he had been hearing, Jacob asked, "So how 
many of those terrorists did you kill?"

Looking down at his empty plate, Oscar answered, "I really don't 
know. Military Intelligence has estimated it as being somewhere 
between a thousand and two thousand."

"It drove my sister crazy when he was lost in Iran," Georgia said.

"Your sister?" asked June wondering what Georgia's sister had to 
do with anything. She was still reeling from the news that her little 
boy had killed so many terrorists. 

"Yes. She's a Druid and spent almost a month trying to find the 
Renegade Warrior," answered Georgia.

"You're the Renegade Warrior?" Jacob asked in shock. They had 
been so worried when Oscar had been reported missing in action. 
Oscar had never told them what had happened during that time 
period and the military wouldn't say anything about it. He had 
assumed that Oscar had been taken captive and rescued somehow 
as a result of some Top Secret mission. Oscar's answer of killing 
over a thousand terrorists suddenly started making sense.

"I guess. I have a lot of names from that time period. Here in the 
states they called me the Renegade Warrior, although I was 
actually lost and not a renegade. In the Middle East, they called me 
the Desert Ghost."

Confused, June asked, "So how did you meet Georgia?"

"I met her in Germany. I was staying with her sister after my time 
in Iran. Georgia helped me set up the training camp for the anti-
terrorist squads," answered Oscar. He was going to joke that it was 
love at first paintball, but knew that his parents wouldn't get it.

Debbie said, "Oscar says that she's a natural warrior. Even though 
she was a civilian, she took control of the camp when the terrorists 
attacked."

"There's no one I'd rather have beside me in a firefight," said 
Oscar.

Smiling at Oscar, Georgia said, "That's so sweet."

Shaking her head at the exchange, June asked, "I hope you don't 
mind me asking, but why do the two of you share Oscar? I mean 
you are both beautiful women and could have your choice of guys. 
Why would you share?"

"We love him," answered Debbie. The look she gave Oscar was 
more powerful than her words.

"We compliment each other," said Georgia looking over at Debbie. 
Seeing the confused expression on Jacob's face, she explained, 
"We are each perfect for him in different ways. Debbie is gentle, 
caring, and domestic. I'm strong, aggressive, and a fighter."

June made a face at that answer and asked, "So are you two lesbian 
lovers or something?"

"No way," answered Georgia with a shudder. 

"Not at all," confirmed Debbie.

Happy to learn that Oscar was with normal women, June said, "I'm 
so relieved."

"There is nothing wrong with being Lesbian or gay," Oscar said, 
his voice had taken a very serious tone.

"It's just not natural."

"Does it harm anyone if a person engages in a same-sex 
relationship?" asked Oscar while watching his mother.

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Children. Lesbians and gays abuse children," answered June.

"Pedophiles abuse children," countered Oscar as his hands curled 
into a fist at the idea of a child being molested. A very hard look 
came over his face and, in a voice that chilled everyone at the 
table, he said, "Anyone who abuses children... Let's just say that 
they wouldn't ever want to meet me."

Jacob stared at his son amazed at the transformation that had come 
over him. A tiger had replaced the bumbling little boy who 
couldn't walk more than ten feet without tripping. He noticed the 
excited look in Georgia's eyes. It was clear to him that the iron 
being demonstrated by Oscar was turning her on. In a soft voice, 
he said, "No need to get so involved. We're just having a friendly 
conversation here."

Oscar leaned back in his chair and said, "As a Druid, there are two 
rules that I must follow. If it harms none, then do it. Protect the 
weak from the strong. When I hear statements about gays and 
lesbians that aren't true… Well, I must act to protect them. 
Accepting, believing, and spreading untruths about a group of 
people is very harmful. It is one way to victimize the weak."

"You really believe that gays and lesbians don't molest children?" 
asked his mother. She'd just read an article in the paper about a 
homosexual molesting and killing a young boy. 

"There are some who molest children, just as there are 
heterosexuals who molest children. The majority of heterosexuals 
and homosexuals do not molest children. We don't need to label a 
good person as evil because the adult they love is the same 
gender," answered Oscar.

"A man molested and killed a boy the other day."

Oscar looked into space and said, "There are evil people in this 
world. The person who killed that child is evil. The fact that he 
was a homosexual only selected the gender of his victim. I have no 
doubt that if he had been a heterosexual, his victim would have 
been a little girl."

"You really believe that?"

"Yes, I do. I know plenty of people who've had sex with someone 
of their own gender and none of them would ever harm a child," 
answered Oscar. He wasn't going to say that his first sexual 
encounter was with the God. 

Debbie and Georgia exchanged looks. Debbie asked, "June, could 
we help you clear the table? When we're done with the dishes, 
could you show us some of Oscar's baby pictures?"

Glad to change the subject, June said, "Sure."

Oscar asked, "Can I help?

As one, three feminine voices said, "No way."

The women bustled around the table clearing dishes while Oscar 
laughed at their behavior. Jacob watched Oscar for a minute and 
then said, "Come on into the den."

Oscar followed his father into his den. The man sat down in a 
comfortable chair while pointing to a chair for Oscar. Once Oscar 
was seated, Jacob asked, "So how are things going for you, son?"

"Fine, Dad. How about yourself? How are you doing?"

Picking up a small cube, Jacob held it up for Oscar to see. In a 
proud voice, he said, "This is my newest power supply. I used a 
variant of the Fusion Battery to create a power cell that lasts four 
times longer."

"Impressive."

The man looked at it and said, "If you know anyone majoring in 
electrical engineering at the Druid College who wants to go into 
analog circuit design, will you put in a good for us? We can use a 
talented young engineer and we're desperate."

"Desperate?" 

"Yes, we're desperate," answered Jacob. 

"Why?" Oscar asked. He never thought of desperate as the kind of 
word that one would use in electrical engineering. 

"Did you know that I'm the youngest engineer in the company? 
Folks are retiring and we can't fill any of the positions. In six years, 
I'm liable to be the only engineer in the company."

Surprised by the statement that his father would be the only 
engineer, Oscar said, "I'll let the Grand Druid know."

"Kids don't want to go into engineering any more. They all want to 
be businessmen."

Oscar nodded and said, "That's where the money and respect is."

"So what are you studying at that college of yours?"

Confident his answer would surprise his father, Oscar said, 
"Religious studies."

"I guess that makes sense if you are a priest in that Druid religion."

"As far as I know, I'm the only Druid to study religion."

"But you guys are priests. How can you be priests if you don't 
study religion?"

"Actually, Druids are not priests. You might say that it is a 
designation of our social position. We are servants of the Gods and 
Goddesses. We don't preach or try to convert people to a worship 
of the Gods and Goddesses."

Although Jacob didn't know much about religion or Druids, he was 
proud that Oscar had become a Druid. He felt that you didn't need 
to understand an accomplishment of your child to be proud of 
them. Still a little uncertain about the distinctions that Oscar was 
making, he said, "Well, I'm proud that you're a Druid."