Oscar Meyers Part 2: Academia By Lazlo Zalezac Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2003 Chapter 1 Underpaid teachers cry themselves to sleep at night, wondering why they struggle to raise the performance of indifferent students. Worried about bills, they know they can make more money managing a boutique in a large shopping mall somewhere. Under appreciated, subjected to violence, and scrutinized by a suspicious populace, the teacher works harder to avoid lawsuit than provide excellence in education. It is widely accepted that the foundation of a strong democracy is to have an educated electorate. That belief is based on the idea that educated men and women can reason through the pros and cons of diverse alternatives to identify solutions to problems that are optimal. Individuals, accepting the responsibilities of their role in establishing rule through representation, will reason about which candidate can best represent their perspectives on the problem. Picking a representative becomes a matter of identifying the candidate who shares their particular perspective on a problem. This sounds like a simple act that only requires that a person with one set of views to select another person with the same set of views to represent them. Achieving a strong democracy would be so simple if two people existed that shared the same perspectives on all of the important problems. Still, an educated person could reason through the alternatives and select the candidate that best represents the majority of views or, at least, those views that are held most dear. Clearly, it is true that an educated person is more capable of reasoning through a problem than an uneducated person. The real question is whether an educated electorate is more likely to reason through the issues put forth than an ignorant electorate? That is an easy question. Ask any lover if reason is a stronger force in life than passion. Individuals of great education and reasoning ability can argue two points of view for years without resolution. As debates progress, it becomes easy for the participants to become wedded to a perspective with the consequence that counterpoints are ignored, discounted, or labeled as outright false. Reason retreats under the power and fury of emotion. If the education of the electorate is not the ultimate foundation for a strong democracy, then what is? Emotion clearly doesn't support democracy. Hero worship can lead directly to a dictatorship in which faults, flaws, and criminal acts are ignored by supporters because of the rose colored glasses they wear. Millions still worship the leadership provided by Stalin. Hitler still has his fans. The greatest foundation of a strong democracy is that representatives must defend their position periodically and do so in an open forum. The positions, interests, and character of the candidates are exposed to the electorate. Those who better represent their interests can replace candidates that stop promoting the interests of those they represent. Corruption, incompetence, arrogance, and deceit can be exposed and the individuals replaced. It is in this manner that true power resides in the electorate. If an educated electorate is not the foundation for a strong democracy, then what is value of education with respect to a democracy? Education does not serve democracy best by creating an educated electorate, but by providing a much larger pool of candidates to serve as representatives. Shrinking the pool of candidates leads to a restriction of choice and that reduces the power that resides in the electorate. Such actions can spiral out of control leading to the establishment of a monarchy. The establishment of a larger pool of candidate representatives is not the only value of education regarding democracy. Educated people put forth the solutions about which the representatives argue. Reducing the pool of educated people reduces the quality of the solutions that can be put forth. The ultimate result is a spiral towards mediocrity. The teacher, looking up in frustration while grading poorly written papers submitted by bored students, should remember their importance in the grand scheme of a strong democracy. Mark what is wrong, teach the correction, and expect improvement. In this way, the teacher carries the burden of the future on their shoulders. Unlike Atlas who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, few know the names of the greatest of these heroes and heroines. The aging thinker who sets pencil to paper to frame a new idea may wonder why they bother. Most likely, only a handful of like- minded people shall ever know of the work done that night. Set the pencil to paper, frame the idea, and send it forth for others to consider. One day, the ideas developed at night become the subject of debate during the day. The thinker shares the teacher's burden for the future on their shoulders. Only a handful of these heroes and heroines shall be remembered. Utopia may not exist, but it is a goal worth trying to achieve. Without the teacher or the thinker, Utopia can't even survive as a dream. The naked man sitting next to a fire cooking food for the first time could be our grandchild rather than our grandsire. Consider this, the teacher and the thinker have more power in a strong democracy by their actions than by their votes. Oscar and Georgia stepped into the administration office at the Druid College. He set down the duffel bag that contained their clothes. Most of the contents within it belonged to Georgia since he only had two red robes packed away. He wore his cloak and the pockets were full of his personal possessions, including a pistol. The woman at the desk looked up at him, recognizing that he was a Druid, and asked, "How may I help you?" Oscar said, "I'm here to go to school." "Okay," she replied with a significant pause between syllables. The woman studied the red robe and pursed her lips as she thought about what he had said. Finally, she said, "Let me get someone to take you to a room. You can wait anywhere here in the lobby." While she talked on the phone, Oscar and Georgia looked around the administration building. It was a spectacular building that provided a very relaxed atmosphere. Footsteps didn't echo like in normal large areas. There were no sounds that created a distraction. The colors were subdued, but totally natural. The walls were covered with paintings and photographs of natural scenes including jungles, deserts, waterfalls, plains, and woodland scenes. Animals of all shapes and sizes were captured in color prints. Near the entrance was a large photograph of John Carter. Oscar stepped over a few steps to study the photograph. Georgia went with him. He looked at the picture and said, "What a great man." "Did you ever meet him?" Oscar shook his head and replied, "No, I never did. I read a biography about him, though. He did so much for the world." "He paid a very high price for his service to the Gods and Goddesses." The voice from behind interrupted their discussion. Oscar turned and looked at the Brown Robed man standing there. He nodded and said, "I am Oscar Meyers and my wife to be is Georgia Wilson." The man nodded at both of them, but looked primarily at Oscar. He had expected a last minute student, but not that he would be a Druid. He said, "I am Oliver Brown." Oscar replied, "It is a pleasure to meet the Grand Druid." Oliver smiled as he examined Oscar. It always amazed him when he met a new Druid just how pure their heart was. Ever since beginning his service, he could not tolerate watching television or leaving the College for extended periods of time. There was just too much hate in this world. He said, "The pleasure is mine. You have a pure heart, despite the actions that you've been forced to take." Oscar shrugged and replied, "I never hated the terrorists, only what they did. The innocents require protection from the strong. The good require protection from those who would do evil. The terrorists have a misguided moral sense that enables them to kill the innocent ones." "Come with me and I'll get you established in a room. The rest of the students will arrive tomorrow." Oliver thought about this situation and how it needed to be handled. No one had anticipated that a Druid would actually be studying here. The expectations had been that the students would become Druids upon graduation. After thinking about it for a minute, he said, "I'll take you to your room now." After picking up the duffel bag, Oscar rejoined Georgia. They followed Oliver through a hallway and then into the building that housed the first year dorms. Oliver turned and said, "We don't have any furnished faculty apartments available at the moment. I'm afraid that you'll have to stay in the first year dorm. I hope that isn't a problem for you." "I expect we'll be living there from now on," replied Oscar with a good-natured wink in the direction of Georgia. "We?" asked Oliver. "Sure, Georgia and me," replied Oscar. Georgia, standing beside Oscar, realized that a problem was looming on the horizon. Oliver looked over at her and asked, "Have you a degree already?" "Yes," she replied. "I'm afraid that represents a problem for us," said Oliver as he resumed walked along. The rules were rather clear that new students should not have permanent commitments to others. The stress of living naked with others could seriously harm them. He had been willing to make an exception for a Druid since he had assumed they would have made sure that no harm could come from it. It made him wonder if Oscar understood all of the implications of becoming a student here. "Why?" asked Oscar puzzled by the fact that his fiancee might want to live with him in his dorm was a problem. He couldn't imagine other Druids having the kind of prudish morality that would frown on that. He said, "It won't harm anyone if we live together in a dorm room. I go to classes and she does what ever she chooses to do." Oliver frowned as he realized the other Druid had no idea of what to expect. "It's not that simple. There's a lot that you don't know. I suggest we get you settled into a room for now and then discuss it over some coffee." Oscar and Georgia stared in horror at Oliver as the Grand Druid explained the program at the College. He was shocked to learn that the whole first year class would be naked and living in mixed dorms. It wasn't that he didn't love Georgia enough to stay true to her, but he was a man with needs who would be surrounded by temptation all of the time. Shaking his head, Oscar said, "I don't understand how the Two- Sided One could insist that I come here." Thinking about the temptation that Oscar would be under, Georgia said, "Three days in that environment and I'd be begging guys to have their way with me. After a week, I'd be looking at the women if I hadn't had relief by then." Oscar muttered, "You would be tempted, but I can't even imagine how I'll react." Trying not to smile at her comment, Oliver said, "I don't know what to tell you." Having delivered the bad news, Oliver watched the couple look at each other. His heart went out to them as he wondered what Oscar would decide to do. He took a sip of coffee waiting for some kind of reaction. Looking at Georgia, it was easy to see that she had a heart nearly as pure as a Druid did. Even the bad news had not created any shadows over her heart. There was hope that a solution might occur to one of them. Georgia set down her cup a little harder than she intended with the consequence that a little coffee spilled onto the table. Ignoring the spill, she said, "Let me summarize one side of the situation knowing that you will be going to school here. First, you will be tempted while living here surrounded by young naked women. Second, I will not be living with you to provide relief when the temptations become too strong. Third, you will succumb to temptation regardless of how much you love me. Fourth, that will bother you because you love me more than life itself. Final point, you can't live without me in your life for six years." Oscar replied, "True on all counts." Taking a moment to wipe up the spill with a napkin, she considered what she was going to say next. Finally, she said, "Let me summarize from a different perspective. First, I know that you will be tempted while living here surrounded by young naked women. Second, I accept that I will not be able to live with you while you are a student. Third, I can accept that you will succumb to temptation because I know how much you love me. Fourth, I will not be jealous because I know that you love me more than life itself. Final point, I can't live without you in my life for six years." Thinking about what she said, he knew that to argue those points would be futile. She loved him and if he questioned her honesty about this, he would be questioning her love for him. He said, "I guess." Her eyes flicked over at him at the implied doubt. She said, "You know better than that." "Okay. You're right on all counts," replied Oscar although it hurt him to say it. Oliver listened to her summary impressed with her ability to get to the heart of the matter. He said, "I guess that is both sides of the story." "Not at all," replied Georgia as she looked over at the Grand Druid. She smiled at him and said, "There is still your perspective. First, you can't change the rules for the entire class. Second, you can't make an exception for Oscar or myself as that undermines the rest of the class. Third, you can't allow harm to come to Oscar or myself. Final point, you won't enjoy coming between the two of us." There was a flavor of a threat in the final point, but everything she had said was correct. He replied, "That is true." Oscar nodded and said, "There has to be a compromise in there somewhere." An idea started to come to Oliver, but it was too early to tell them about it. Standing up, he said, "Excuse me for a minute." Oscar and Georgia sat at the table drinking coffee and talking about the difficulties of the upcoming time. While Georgia was keeping her spirits, Oscar was getting depressed. He couldn't imagine being kept from Georgia for more than just a few days at a time. Oliver returned to the table with a very large grin on his face. Sitting down, he said, "Have I got a solution for you." Wondering what he could have come up with that quickly, Georgia said, "Please, tell us." Turning to Georgia, he said, "Ed Biggers has a place across the road from us, but he doesn't use it. I just got off the phone and he said that you could live there for the next six years. I can employ you in the administration building while you are here." She smiled at the idea of being able to stay nearby. Looking over at Oscar, she asked, "What about Oscar?" "He will be a student here, but I insist that he does not let any of the other students know that he is already a Druid until after the first year. We can let him leave the campus on occasion since he doesn't require the constant supervision of our regular students. During the first year, I'm sure that a weekly scheduled time could be arranged for the weekends. If he happens to go across the street to your place, I don't see where that would be a problem," replied Oliver with a large smile. Oscar wasn't smiling nearly as much as Georgia. Hiding the fact that he was Druid for a year seemed excessive, but that wasn't his real problem. He said, "That puts me here through most of the week with all those naked women." Pleased that things weren't nearly as bad as they could have been, Georgia said, "The up side is that you'll be able to enjoy a few of those naked women." "What about you?" asked Oscar afraid that he would be hurting her feelings by sleeping around. He wasn't interested in some of the wilder forms of sexual activity that so many Druids favored. He felt that he could only love one woman at a time. That didn't keep him from being a man whose cock would react when presented with an attractive woman. "Who knows, I might enjoy some of those naked young men on occasion," she replied in a teasing tone of voice. After a minute, the George, within her, emerged as she considered the possibilities of having a pool of naked male students in the vicinity. She said, "Who knows, I just might." Oscar, knowing the difference between George and Georgia, smiled at the suggestion. George would visit the students and have a lot of fun doing it. Shaking his head, he said, "Come along George. We've got some plans to make and I have to buy some clothes so that I can loose them on the first day of class." Oliver watched them walk off knowing that they were going to be okay. He said, "Oh, by the way. There is one more thing." "What?" asked Oscar thinking that everything had been settled. "Give me your gun," said Oliver holding out his hand. "Oh, yeah," replied Oscar as he fished out his pistol. He was hesitant about handing it over to the Grand Druid. It felt strange to give it up. Even clothed, he felt naked without it. Wearing shorts, a T-shirt, and sandals, Oscar stood with the other students waiting to enter the college. Patient Oscar, used to sitting still for hours at time while waiting for his enemies to move, was nervous and could hardly stand in one spot. Other students milled around while looking at each other. All wondered who would become friends during the course of the next few years. Oliver entered the room and called everyone to order. After a short speech, he asked the Druids to come in the room to give the students a chance to meet them. As his fellow students rushed forth to learn from the Druids what being a Druid involved, Oscar hung back and examined his fellow Druids. To one side, stood a tall man with a weather beaten face. The fact that he was wearing a black robe immediately identified him to Oscar as Ed Biggers. Not wanting to look as if he were totally disinterested in the Druids, he felt that it was necessary to talk with one. He walked over to Ed and said, "Hello, Ed Biggers. I'm Oscar Meyers." Ed looked at the little man and relaxed as he realized that the little man wasn't a student. As a smile spread on his face, he said, "I'm pleased to meet you, Oscar. I hope that Georgia is comfortably settled in the house. It's good to know that it will get used." "I appreciate you letting her stay there," replied Oscar. "It was nothing. Since I left here, I know that a number of Druids on staff have used the house as a private little hide away at times," said Ed with a grin. He had actually considered giving the house and property to the College when he had left his regular teaching position. Instead, he had established the land as a private park. The house and stables had remained personal property. "Thank you anyway. Your place provided a solution to a major problem that I had," replied Oscar. The man spoke the truth. Ed clapped him on the shoulder and said, "I don't envy you. The next year is going to be rough." Oscar looked around the room at his fellow students. There were few women in the class that wouldn't have been the subject of his masturbation fantasies just a few years ago. He groaned as he said, "I'm a nerd or, at least, I was a nerd. What I am about to experience is far beyond anything that I ever thought would happen to me. I hope I can deal with it." Ed laughed and said, "Better start mixing or you'll look suspicious." "No words to cheer me up?" "None," answered Ed with a grin deciding that he liked Oscar. The guy had an easy honesty about himself that he liked. Maybe he was a Druid, but the nerd inside wasn't completely dead. Oscar shook his head and wandered off to wait for the time to pass. He stood to the side and watched as students went from Druid to Druid asking questions. The students all looked so young and inexperienced to him. He wasn't sure if the reason they looked inexperienced was because of his time spent in the army or his experience as a Druid. "Wow, those Druids are pretty amazing people," said a young man who had come to stand beside him. Oscar looked at the guy and realized that he was seeking out someone with whom to share his nervousness. He smiled as he answered, "I don't know. They seem pretty down to earth to me." "I guess. It's just that they talk about doing these amazing things like they were nothing. Hell, if I rescued a cat from a tree, I'd be boasting about it all week." Laughing at the unflattering characterization the student had made of himself, Oscar introduced himself, "I'm Oscar." "I'm Greg," answered the guy. He looked over Oscar and said, "You seem kind of old to be entering college." "I went in the Army to save money for school," replied Oscar. It was the truth, just not the whole truth. "Oh," replied Greg. He thought about it and then said, "I guess you are hoping to serve the God." Struggling to find a reply, Oscar noticed that Oliver was moving to the center of the room. He said, "It looks like the big guy is going to talk." "I saw you talking to the one in black. I tell you - those servants of the Two-Sided Ones are really spooky. What was he like?" Oscar was surprised by the statement and realized that this was a chance for him to see how others honestly viewed the Druids. Oscar smiled and answered, "I found him nice." "Nice? You don't use words like that to describe Druids. Powerful and intense, those are the right words," replied Greg. He looked over at the people in robes in awe. Oscar chuckled as Oliver brought order back to the students. By the time the students were lined up, the Druids had already left the room. After a few minutes, they followed Oliver to the hallway that connected the administration building to the first year dorms. While most of the other students had no clue what was about to happen, Oscar knew and his nervousness returned. As he held his box, he listened as people were asked to remove personal items. That was easy, he had none. Everything that was his was stored in a private office located on an unused floor of the administration building. No one was acting too nervous, although it did appear to him that a few of the students did have an idea of what was to happen next. Standing next to him, Greg said, "Why are they doing this?" Oscar smiled and shrugged, giving the impression that he didn't know the answer to the question. When everything except glasses had gone into the boxes, his stomach tightened as Oliver said, "Please put all of your personal items in your boxes. I see that you still have your clothes." "Shit!" exclaimed Greg as he dropped his box at the announcement. He looked around the room with the same expression as an animal after it discovers that it is trapped in a corner. He wasn't the only student that had that reaction. Oscar didn't immediately react, but he was still one of the first students to start removing their clothes. As he dropped his shirt into the box, he said, "Greg, I'm not going to be happy if I'm the only one that ends up naked." His sandals, shorts, and underwear soon joined the shirt in his box. Standing up as straight as he could, Oscar spread his legs shoulder wide and rested his hands on hips. Staring off into space, he stood there looking calm, collected, and strong. Inside, he was more nervous than when he had faced terrorists in Afghanistan. Being naked in a room full of people didn't bother him in terms of anyone paying any special attention to his body. After all, there were many examples of people with better and worse bodies than himself. His problem was his height. He kept thinking to himself that his height put him so that he was looking directly at the breasts of almost all the females in the room. "Man, you sure are taking this easily. Are you a nudist or something," asked Greg. He was amazed at how easily Oscar had stripped and how calm he was about standing there naked. "I'm too nervous to talk," muttered Oscar trying to keep from looking at any of the women in the immediate vicinity. As his eyes flicked over the breasts of a striking woman standing just a few feet away, he knew it was a losing cause. His cock reacted in the predicted fashion. Greg laughed and shook his head at the admission. The little guy next to him looked so calm and collected that it made everyone else around him a little more relaxed. He said, "You're something else." It took five more minutes before the slowest of the students finished stripping. A shocked silence settled across the room as people tried not to draw any attention in their direction. Some students tried to cover the fronts of their bodies with the boxes in which they had put their clothes. Oscar wasn't even aware that he was covering himself as he held his box to take it with him. The woman standing near to Oscar turned to see how others were handling. When she saw that Oscar only came to her breasts, she turned away blushing at the idea that talking to him would effectively have him staring at her breasts. Greg noticed and whispered, "You're a lucky fellow." Oscar glanced over at him, but chose not to respond. Oliver led the students to the room where they would be storing the boxes. Oscar followed along, convinced that this was the hardest thing that he had ever done. Two women were walking in front of him and he didn't know where to keep his eyes. They had nice well-shaped asses that swayed in a very feminine fashion. His cock got even harder. He kept control while putting up his box and getting his class schedule. Using it as a distraction, he examined the class schedule with a critical eye. It was a rough program with almost the entire day occupied by classes, studying, and counseling. Five days a week, he went to Pre-algebra, Grammar, Logic, Ethics, and Public Speaking. Two classes in the morning, two classes in the afternoon, and one in the evening. The courses didn't look that difficult, but appearances could be deceiving. A scheduled study meeting followed each class with each study group assigned. The weekends included counseling sessions. At the room, he waited to learn the identity of his roommates for the current school year. The news that each room was to be coed had really been a shock to the students. His room was in the middle of the hallway and he wondered why that was the case. Several glances in the direction of Oliver had showed the Grand Druid was watching him with a sly smile. It didn't bode well for his choice of roommates. "Sharon Steele, Mark Hammond, Lisa Gooding, and Oscar Meyers, you're in room 34," called out Oliver as he watched the reaction of Oscar. The tallest woman in the school stepped into the room, followed by a young man that shuffled into the room like a zombie, and then the fattest female student in the class rushed into the room. His room was filled with all of the physical misfits. A tall woman, a strange man, a fat woman, and a short guy all sharing one room. Oliver smiled and said in perfect Arabic, "Rank has its privileges and its responsibilities." In perfect Arabic, Oscar, with a wry smile, replied, "Payback is a bitch. Watch out." Oliver laughed and pointed at the door. Other students looked at Oliver and then at Oscar wondering what they had said to each other. To a person, all agreed that Oscar did not act intimidated by the Grand Druid. Oscar entered the room and closed the door behind him. The tall woman had thrown herself on one of the beds and was crying so hard that her entire body was shaking. The overweight woman had settled to the floor and was sobbing into her hands. The other male in the room was standing in spot, as his entire body shook with his hands covering his private parts staring into space. Oscar looked at the other man wondering what was his problem. The guy was handsome enough, but acting as if he was totally uncomfortable with his appearance. Lightly slapping the other guy on the arm, Oscar said, "Put your arms to your side." Mark turned to look at Oscar as though seeing him for the first time. He continued to hold his hands in front of his body covering his cock. There was no further reaction from the guy. Oscar shook his head wondering what the problem was. For several minutes, Oscar stood waiting for someone to stop crying or to say something. The women continued to cry and the guy remained fixed in place shaking. He mentally cursed Oliver for putting him in this position. There was nothing for him to do except take charge of the situation. Summoning up his best military stance, Oscar took a deep breath and, in a commanding tone of voice, shouted, "Stand up. Face Me. Arms to your sides." Shocked at the sudden appearance of a drill Sargent in the room, the roommates followed his orders without hesitation. A quick glance at Mark and Oscar knew the problem. The guy had a very small cock. He knew he'd have to address that problem at some point in time, but not now. Oscar stepped up to the tall woman and barked, "Stand up straight. What's your name?" The woman stood up straighter and in the process added almost two inches in height. She was so tall that she could have rested her breasts on his head if they had been a little fuller. She answered, "Sharon Steele." Oscar could tell that she was tempted to add sir to the end of her answer. He moved in front of the overweight woman and barked, "Pull those shoulders back. What is your name?" "Lisa Gooding, sir." She stood up straighter and pulled her shoulders back. Her breast stood out even more than when she was hunched over. Even as she did it, she wondered why she was doing what this little guy was telling her to do. Oscar moved to stand in front of Mark and shook his head. He said, "Suck in that stomach. What is your name?" "Mark Hammond," replied the guy as he sucked in his stomach. He had the mental image that he was in boot camp, not college. At the same time, he wondered how that little guy managed to put so much energy in his words and command such instantaneous respect. Oscar moved to where he stood in front of the other three. Talking in a clipped voice in which each word was delivered like a bullet, he said, "I am Oscar Meyers. I am the shortest man among all of the students here. I don't care that I'm the smallest man here. When I look at a women, my eyes are level with her breasts. I don't care." The other three had to smile at the image that his words suggested. Focusing on his problems made theirs a little easier. Oscar looked at Sharon and said, "You're tall. I like that. My first lover was six foot tall and an amazing woman." He stepped in front of Lisa. Making a point of looking at her large and full breasts, he said, "I love your breasts and hope that one day I will be able to enjoy them even more. Of course, that depends upon you allowing me to have that honor and privilege." Lisa watched, eyes the size of saucers, as Oscar turned to Mark. Frowning, he said, "When you talk to a woman, you can look her in the eyes. They will respect you far more than they will respect me. If I were less confident, I'd be green with envy." Mark looked down at his cock and up at Oscar as though the small man was insane. There was no way this little dynamo with the large cock could express ever be envious of him. Oscar ignored the look and said, "I came here to learn, not to walk around with an erection all day long. I suggest that we make a pact that we help each other on every opportunity to rid ourselves of any sexual tension so that we can focus on learning." He waited as his roommates looked at each other in confusion. No one had expected him to address his or her real concerns in such a straightforward manner. What could they say? No, I don't want to have you as a bed partner. I'd rather be miserable suffering from sexual frustration since I'm not attractive enough for someone to want to be a bed partner with me.