K's Diary. . .

Tuesday, April 20 2004

I went on a business trip so it was mostly work related and I didn't even go to another country. But it was still interesting.

A couple of weekends ago something really bad happened. I took Nikki to her soccer practice like every Saturday. This time her team was playing against girls from a different school, and they all had a good time. At the end of the game she came to me like always, and I hugged her and we kissed on lips like we always do. And then suddenly some woman came to us and said "I saw what you did". We both looked at her and smiled because we thought she was joking, but she was serious, and she looked like she was angry and said, "you shouldn't be doing this to a child." Then she asked me if I was her mother. I said I wasn't, and then I told her it's none of her business. Besides we didn't french kiss, it was only a kiss on lips, but I think it was too long and she mistook it for something else. She said then that she knows who Nikki is, and that she will call social workers and her parents and tell them what I was doing to her. It sounded like I was doing it against her will and Nikki was trying to run away. It was really ridiculous. I told her to do whatever she wants but that she shouldn't mess with other people's lives. Nikki was scared by all this and wanted to leave so we left and went home. I tried to calm Nikki down because she thought everyone will know about us now and her parents will get mad at us, but I told her not to worry. She said then she didn't want to go to soccer again, and it made me sad that one stupid woman could ruin her life and fun just by thinking she was doing something wrong. I asked Nikki if she wanted to go out to the movies because I wanted her to forget about it. I could tell she was worrying and feeling depressed. We went to see a movie, and I tried to talk to her and make her feel better. I think it worked after some time because she cheered up, and after the movie we bought some ice cream and went home. By Sunday we almost forgot about it, and when I took her home in the evening, we kissed in the car like always and talked about our next weekend.

After that Sunday I thought she would even change her thoughts about soccer, but our troubles haven't finished yet because on Tuesday afternoon I received a call from Nikki's mom. I was surprised when she called me, but then she said that someone from social service called her and asked her about the last Saturday and if she knew what happened. I was a little scared right then because I didn't know how far it all went and what would happen. She said they asked her questions and she had to tell them who I was and things like that. She didn't say anything except that I was taking care of Nikki and taking her to her soccer practice, but I think she was annoyed and angry that she was put in this position. The woman who called the social service knew Nikki by name, and she told them everything she saw that Saturday. I tried talking to Nikki's mom and to explain what happened, and she said Nikki told her the same. She didn't like that we kiss in public and she asked me not to do that again. She said she didn't know we did it where people could see us and she thought I was very irresponsible. I told her I won't do it again. I asked her what did the social worker tell her, and she said they recommend that I shouldn't be taking care of Nikki. I was hoping she didn't give them my name, but I didn't ask her then. She also said Nikki told her she didn't want to go back to play soccer and that she was upset about everything that happened. I was feeling really bad about it. Who would have imagined a kiss would turn into so much trouble for us. Then she said that maybe Nikki and I should take a break from seeing each other and it broke my heart. I didn't know what to say to her, and that's how it all ended. I was feeling depressed, and I cried for the rest of the week. I thought it was the end of it and if I wasn't able to see Nikki that she would lose interest in me and stop being my little girlfriend.

When the next weekend came, Nikki and I only spoke on the telephone, and I could tell she was sad too. She said she tried to talk to her mom and dad but they wouldn't listen to her. She said she was mad at them. We talked for a long time and tried to work it out but there was nothing we could do if her parents wouldn't let us see each other. I told her I loved her, and she said she loved me too, but it only made me feel like crying. The rest of the weekend was boring and made me think of the things we would do. Then on Monday someone knocked on my door, and when I opened it she was standing there. I let her in and it was so nice to hug her again. I asked her if her mom let her come, and she said her mom thought she went to a friend's place. She did this once before and I didn't like it because it would only make things worse for us if her parents found out. She said she will talk to her mom again and make her let us see each other or she will run away from them. I told her that's not a smart thing to do but she said she was serious and was sick of living with them. I told her then that if she did something like that, I would get in a lot of trouble because the police would be looking for her in my home and asking me questions about her, and when they found her they wouldn't let us be together ever again. I said she should talk to her mom. After all she knew we loved each other and she knew Nikki wanted to be with me. Why would she stop her from being happy? I took her then to my bed, and we kissed for a little while until we were happy again, and then I walked her half way to her home.

After that a few days went by, but I was afraid to call her because I didn't want to make it look to her mom like I was pestering her all the time. Finally on Friday her mom called me and asked if we could meet. She said she had a long talk with Nikki and she wanted to talk to me so things like that don't happen again. So I went to their home and she made me promise not to do anything in public that would put them or Nikki in trouble. She said if this comes to attention of social service again, they could take Nikki away and we would all get a visit from the police. She said she lets me be together with Nikki only because Nikki wants it. Nikki was there too and she smiled and said it was her fault because she always came to me after the game and expects a kiss for playing well. It made me smile too, and I told her it's not her fault. It wasn't anyone's fault that there are stupid people around who only want to give us trouble.

In the end it all ended well for us, except now Nikki doesn't want to go to her soccer practice anymore because she's afraid that woman will be there again. I told her we could find a different club, but she said she wasn't interested anymore. She said she wanted to try something else. Then she said her friends were asking her why she left and what happened to her. They saw us kiss and hold hands many times before and no one thought it was wrong or made fun of Nikki for doing so. She didn't know what to tell them though, and I said she should tell the truth because some of her girlfriends already knew we were close and they thought it was cool. So now we are looking for a new sport for her to play. She said she might like swimming or horseback riding so we will be looking into those, but she is still missing her old friends from soccer. For now we go running in the park, and it's very nice because I'm lucky to live close by to a park so we don't have to drive to get there, and the weather is getting warmer and sunnier. We always stop by a little lake to watch ducks swim, and there are often other children around playing. We would go out on our bicycles too, but Nikki's bike is broken and needs fixing. We might have it fixed next weekend so we can go out for a longer time. But for now I think running is a pretty good exercise, and we still go to Yoga classes.

So I guess it all turned out all right for us, but at the time it was very stressful. I don't want anything like that to happen again until Nikki is a little older.

But for now everything is all right and we are going out on a date again. I'm taking her out to a theater again like we did last time. We both like it, and it's fun to be out there together and hold hands. And she likes dressing up in her pretty dresses too. Last time we saw a Shakespeare play, but it was a little boring for her. This time we'll see ballet Napoli which should be more interesting than Shakespeare. We also went to see a short film festival called NatFilm but that's all we've done outside home. We mostly stay at home now and daydream about living together and kiss for a long time. I would like to go out more often because I would like Nikki to learn about culture and art which is better than watching TV and movies all the time. One weekend we will be visiting her grandparents, and we are looking forward to going out of town for a few days.

I haven't heard from Ella ever since we had lunch together. I think I will give her a call one day, but right now I'm too busy making Nikki happy and doing things with her as much as we can. I'm actually worried about going on a trip with Ella and Nikki at the same time because it can only turn out bad for all of us. But I might be wrong.