Numba One In Tha Hood by John O'Connor
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author.
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Note: 1) Some possible spoilers for many episodes throughout the series. 2) "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" and "Sealab 2021" are part of the Adult Swim lineup on the Cartoon Network and are immature, sophomoric, often plot-less wastes of time. Probably why I love to watch them. 3) For those who care, this time I based Sam's latest fling on Aisha Tyler who is currently one of the recurring guest stars on Fox's "24". 4) This all takes place after "Heroes" so, obviously, there was a much different outcome there. 5) My friendly neighborhood beta-reader, Geonn helpfully pointed out the similarity to my earlier story "Sharing Secrets" but, after careful review, I don't think I plagiarized myself. Well, not too much. Just consider this something along the lines of 'Variations On A Theme'... _______________________________________________________
"...seems like we could have good relations with these people," Daniel Jackson said as a wrap-up to the latest post-mission debriefing for SG-1. "This culture is...?" General Hammond asked. "Oh, yeah. They're a...meld of northern African tribes and southern Bedouins. But, losing their nomadic traditions after the Goa'uld placed them on the planet, they ended up developing quite an advanced civilization," Daniel responded. "After the naqada ran out and the Goa'uld left, they made use of what had been left behind." "On a par with Earth's, you said?" "For the most part, yes," Sam Carter added. "They haven't really bothered with space flight outside of satellite technology but they are well-advanced in the areas of medicine and agriculture. I believe they'd be able to show us some treatments that could help us in both areas." Jack O'Neill glanced at his watch for the fourth time in the past ten minutes, unaware that Hammond saw him every time. Hiding a smile at his friend's discomfort, he asked, "And no sign of the Goa'uld?" "Nope!" Jack chimed in. "Nary a one sir. We...uh, done here?" Daniel glanced sideways at his friend and said, "No. Apparently they've not bothered to return. We can't even find any of the usual glyphs to indicate which one of the System Lords ruled them. Everything has been removed from the older structures." "It is common with liberated races," Teal'c said. As was often the case after peaceful missions, he had very little to say. "Yep. Nice folks. Good to work with. Lotsa cool stuff. We done?" Jack asked again. "Are you in a hurry Colonel?" "Well, to tell you the truth, sort of. I have some new DVDs to watch..." "Colonel, I think deciding whether to engage in further diplomatic relations with another world is a bit more important than..." "'Girls Gone Wild'?" Sam interjected with a chuckle. "Ha-ha, very funny Carter." Jack scowled at his second then turned back to Hammond, "Actually, it's cartoons sir." "Cartoons?" "Yeah, um, 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force' season 2 and 'Family Guy' volume 2." "Yes, well..." Hammond shook his head and, hiding a smile, said, "Very well. Go have Doctor Fraiser's people check you out and you can all take a few days off. "Good job SG-1. Thank you." Jack stood up with a grin and said, "You know what they say..." The other four sat there waiting, knowing he had something to add. "'Cuz we are tha Aqua Teenz, make the homeys say ho 'n the girlies wanna scream!" With no response, Jack headed for the spiral stairs finishing with, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force... Numba one in tha hood, G." Hammond stared at him and the colonel quickly added, "Um, G...for General...Sir." With that, Jack was on his way to his favorite torture chamber. The rest of SG-1 followed more quietly. In the corridor, Daniel asked, "'Girls Gone Wild'?" Sam smirked, "Seems like something the colonel would watch..." Daniel simply grinned. * * * Janet Fraiser moved quickly through the Infirmary. While no one had the time to do post-mission exams on every offworld team, she did like to check in with the individual travelers when they were in her domain. "So, Colonel... Anything to report?" Janet asked, looking over the workup one of her people had just finished. "Nope! Can I go?" "In a minute. Just want to double-check something here. Your pulse seemed elevated when Jane did her checkup." Jack groaned and tried to wave Janet off. "Aw, it was nothing. Daniel and I were...having a discussion." "An argument?" "Well, I wouldn't put it that harshly. A...disagreement. Yeah. Anyway, we were disagreeing on Benny Hill versus Monty Python. I like Benny better." "Hmm... Okay, guess I don't need a hypodermic after all." She smiled inwardly as Jack sighed his relief. "Alright then, if there's nothing else, you can go Colonel. Enjoy your time off." Jack jumped up then stopped. Glancing around, he leaned close to Janet, "Seen Carter yet?" "No. I like to get the crybabies out first," Janet said, smiling to take the edge off her words. However, she was intrigued, thinking she knew what the older man was getting at. "Well, she did it again. She gets more action offworld than..." Jack's whisper trailed off. "You?" Janet laughed, which was hard to do as she was also whispering. She had guessed right though. "No, than Kirk." Jack shook his head. "Anyway, I know how much you two like to share so..." Janet stepped back but continued to whisper, "I don't... Sam's too much like you, she likes to brag about her conquests and...there really isn't anyone else to tell here." "Really? That's all?" Janet nodded, a firm look on her face. "Damn. Oh well, gotta go. Got cartoons waiting..." Jack started for the door and shouted, "Daniel? Ready to go? Hunger Force in one hour. Bring the beer." Daniel walked up and said, "Okay. Janet? Need me?" Janet shook her head and Daniel turned to his friend, "Hey? You have 'Sealab 2021' on disk? That show is hilarious." "Not yet. Got the latest 'Simpsons' boxed set though." The two continued their discussion as they headed to the hallway. Janet stood in the door and said, "Uh Colonel?" Jack turned with a sigh, he was certain that Janet would make a beeline to Carter's bed. "What Doc?" "Monty Python is funnier." And with a wave, Janet went back into her realm. "C'mon Danny-boy. Let's track down Teal'c and show him some real American humor." * * * As Janet headed towards the alcove where Sam was being checked out, her imagination was conjuring images of Sam offworld. Several years before, shortly after Janet had joined the SGC, Sam came in for the standard post-mission physical. Janet handled her that day and found what looked like a bruise or a bite mark high up on Sam's inner thigh. Sam claimed it was just a bruise from their mission to Chulak. Janet accepted this and things went on in their abnormal way for the SGC. A few weeks later, Janet and Sam actually became friends as an indirect result of Hathor's attempt to take the SGC. Working and fighting together, they realized that they had many common interests. These were only cemented further with the arrival of Cassandra. Later, Sam again came in with some unexplained markings. This time, they were long, thin scratches across her back. After Janet prodded her, Sam finally decided it was safe enough to confide in Janet. And she had to talk to someone. The scratches on Sam's back came from the woman who had seduced Sam on Hadante, the prison world. While they were having sex, the older woman clawed Sam's back in her passion. This was before Sam knew who Linea was. And that fact, Linea's identity, was part of the reason Sam had to tell someone - she just felt dirty about the whole thing afterwards. Janet told Sam that it didn't matter. Sam had no way of knowing who Linea was - no one on Earth did at the time. And the fact that Sam had sex with women was immaterial to Janet. And she made sure Sam knew she didn't care and wouldn't report the young scientist. After the tears came the laughter as Sam told Janet about her bruised thigh. The bruise was a hickey from Drey'ac while she and Sam were alone for a time on Chulak. "Jaffa women are as aggressive as their men," Sam said at the time. Both women laughed about it. As time went on, Sam began to tell Janet about her other exploits. Most often, this was when the two were having a gabfest and drinking wine together, the alcohol loosening Sam's tongue. First, there was the time Drey'ac brought her and Teal'c's son, Ryac, to Earth. Sam took the distraught mother aside to comfort her and this led to a resumption of their heated actions on Chulak. There were no hickeys after this encounter. It was much more tender and loving according to Sam, who didn't elaborate further. Then came her liaison with Garshaw of Belote when SG-1 met with the Tok'ra the first time. Sam couldn't help but laugh as she rhetorically asked, "What is it with me and older women?" The list of Sam's 'conquests' was lengthy. In that, Jack was correct. This roster included Princess LaMoor of Madrona, the Tok'ra agent known to SG-1 as Doctor Raully of the late 21st century, Farrell of Euronda, Anise of the Tok'ra (Janet winced on hearing this - she still had issues with that...woman), Doctor Markov of the Russian Stargate project, Ishta and her closest advisors, and even the Sam from the parallel universe beyond the quantum mirror. Sam had asked Janet if that would count as just sex, incest, or masturbation. Janet never came up with an adequate answer. Then there was the android who didn't know she was an android, Reese. Janet and Sam had a long laugh about that later when the question came up "Did she count? Or was it like using a vibrator?" The ones Janet was most concerned about were Cadet, now Lieutenant Jennifer Hailey, and later Major Erin Gant, the pilot of the Prometheus. These, and other Earth-based trysts, were fraught with professional danger. If the Air Force were to find out, Sam could easily find herself drummed out of the service. There was one other person at the SGC that Sam became involved with but Janet was, sadly, no longer worried about her. Elizabeth Weir was gone. Off to the Pegasus Galaxy and out of contact with Earth. There were at least a dozen more offworld encounters that Sam told Janet about. And each event was different. Depending on their moods, and how much wine they had, Sam might just tell Janet she had slept with such and such a woman. Or she might go into detail on the encounter. Janet would try to dissuade her but that only made Sam more determined to make her uncomfortable. What Sam didn't know was that Janet, while outwardly uncomfortable at these details, found them incredibly exciting and these became fodder for her masturbatory fantasies. (Janet was a bit disturbed by this as she had always considered herself straight as the proverbial arrow.) Of course, Janet would deny to her dying breath - especially to Jack O'Neill - that this was so. Jack, and the other three members of SG-1, Daniel, Teal'c, and Jonas Quinn, became aware of Sam's proclivities at different times. Fortunately, they were such a close-knit group that it was not a problem for any of them. After assuring the major that her life was her own, Jack merely wanted to know who Sam was with. And when. Sam reluctantly obliged. But she didn't go into anywhere near the detail she did with Janet. Janet didn't remember when she and Jack became co-conspirators in Sam's sexual antics. Just that, at some point, Jack told her to be sure to ask Sam about her latest fling. Often, from that point on, Jack would clue Janet into a juicy tale from her best friend. When Janet first discovered Jack's knowledge of this situation, she gave him a thinly veiled threat to keep his mouth shut. Jack assured Janet that, to paraphrase the ad slogan, what happened offworld stayed offworld. And so they had come to this point. * * * As Janet came up to Sam's bed, the tall blonde was pulling her black t-shirt down. The nurse made a last entry onto the chart and handed the clipboard to Janet. "She's fine, Doctor. The picture of health." "Thank you, Sarah." Janet glanced over the data then smiled up at her friend. "You're good to go." "Great!" Sam jumped up and stretched. Janet was again looking at the clipboard in her hand. "The colonel says you...got lucky," she whispered as she glanced up through her bangs. Sam beamed and whispered, "Yes indeed. And Janet, she was gorgeous! Want me to tell you about it?" "You mean details? Are you sure you're not drunk?" Janet asked jokingly. Inwardly she was torn between a desire to hear everything and her own fear of being aroused by the details. Sam nodded. "Yeah, the details. And, no, I'm not drunk. Just..." Janet looked up as her friend's voice drifted off. "What is it Sam?" "Aisha was different. She told me..." Sam shook her head and said, "Listen, I have to brief some techs on the N-reactor modifications I made." Sam glanced at her watch and added, "In a few hours. I can't leave until then. But I want to talk to you now." The urgency bothered Janet. She nodded, "Okay. Your quarters?" Sam shook her head, "No. I don't trust those security monitors. They're supposed to be off but..." "My office is out. I'm sharing with MacKenzie until they figure out the wiring problem in his area." Sam snapped her fingers, "That's it! He was shoe-horned in over by Life Sciences. The comm wiring is all down there. And LS is shut down for the time being." Janet laughed despite her worries about her friend, "Okay. I'll meet you there in...?" "Fifteen minutes?" Janet nodded and Sam strutted out of the Infirmary. 'She has that just-been-sexed walk going,' Janet thought with a smile. And a hint of jealousy. * * * The lights were low in the Life Sciences lab as Janet entered. Glancing around, she saw the usual scattering of lab tables, containers, instruments, computer terminals and a couple of iso chambers. Along the far wall was a series of three ventilation hoods. Two of the hoods were closed, the glass doors slid down to seal them off. The other was open and empty. Janet remembered her lab days in the various chemistry classes she had to take. Hoods were used quite often. Especially with the more toxic substances. These hoods had much tighter environmental protocols than any used on college campuses though. Just as her eyes became adjusted to the dimmer light, Sam came in. "Hi." "He-ey Sam." "I saw General Hammond as he was leaving. And Jack and the boys are gone so we shouldn't be disturbed." "Yeah, something about cartoons?" "The colonel just got 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force' on DVD." Janet shook her head. "I hate that cartoon! It's so...stupid! And Cassie watches it every night." Sam smiled. "It's okay. I like 'Sealab 2021' better." Janet shook her head, "Must be that blonde scientist in the jumpsuit. You know, the nympho?" "Hey! Debbie DuPree's not a nympho. And she's pretty wise to men too." "Oh God, you know their names?" Janet moaned. "You really do spend too much free time with your teammates." Sam closed the door to the corridor and then motioned for Janet to sit on a stool while she took the another. "So, uh, Janet... I feel like I need to talk to you about this but...it's kinda hard." "Sorry I didn't bring any medicinal alcohol with me," Janet said with a small smile. Sam smiled back, feeling a little better. "So tell me about this girl, Aisha," Janet prompted. "Oh Janet, she is beautiful. She has a gorgeous face and a body like a Playboy model but all real. Her skin is a beautiful dark brown like Hershey's chocolate. "Jack and Daniel were practically drooling when we met her. I think even Teal'c was impressed but it's hard to say with him a lot of the time." Janet interjected, "Who is she?" "She is the prime minister's scientific consultant so we ended up spending a lot of time together." Sam flushed red for a moment. "And..." Janet prompted again. "She was...fascinated by my hair. Everyone there has dark skin and hair. I drew a lot of stares. "One evening, after yet another reception, she was walking me back to our quarters. We were strolling along the river that ran through the capital city of Ahanga. While we talked, she kept touching me lightly. I started to respond and touch her arm. "Janet, her skin was so soft and smooth." Sam smiled and looked down, shaking her head. "Sam, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to." "I do, Janet. It's just... "Anyway, we stopped at one point and she kissed me. Lightly but it lingered and soon our tongues were...caressing is the only word. We stood there for a long time, our mouths sealed together and our tongues dancing back and forth. "Finally, we broke apart, both of us panting. She told me she wanted to take me to bed. She was in love with my skin and hair and wanted to touch me and kiss me all over." Janet felt herself becoming aroused but tried not to squirm. And she forced her breathing to remain even. "We got to my room and she slowly removed my clothes, kissing my skin as it was revealed. She seemed fascinated by my nipples and white breasts. But when she removed my panties, she gasped. I guess she had no idea pubic hair could be lighter colored than hers," Sam chuckled, a deep throaty chuckle. "Once she had me naked, I started to remove her clothes. It was a lot easier as the dress was more of a wrap and she didn't wear any underwear. "Once she was naked, I could only stare. She was even more beautiful. Her breasts were just about perfect. Dark brown mounds with...Hershey Kisses at the tips. Her ass was so beautiful and round that I had to kiss it - each cheek several times that night." Janet chuckled and swallowed. "Ne..." Janet cleared her throat and tried again, "Never took you for an ass-kisser, Sam." Sam smiled as she continued. "We came together and kissed again then I led her to the bed and began to work my way down. Her skin was so soft and warm. All over. And that lovely shade of brown was perfect. "Her breasts felt so good in my mouth. And her nipples were so hard and springy... "She had a spicy, tangy flavor when I finally tasted her. Just like you'd expect. She screamed when she came." Sam sighed at the memory then resumed, "Then she took her turn. She sucked on my breasts forever. Then she began to kiss her way down my body. "Her lips and tongue were like magic. She kissed my navel and then she lay there staring at my...mound. She spent some time just running her fingers through my pubic hair. "When she started to eat me, I actually saw fireworks. I hadn't had sex like this in...a long time." "Wow," Janet said in a small voice. "Janet, the reason I'm telling you this is... God, this is hard. I swore I would never bring this up but...Aisha said I should. "This beautiful woman, this magical woman was giving me the best sex. And, when I came, I..." Sam got up and walked over by the far wall. Janet followed her with her eyes. "Sam? It's okay. You can tell me anything. You know that." "This is hard though." "Are..." Janet paused to collect her thoughts, "Are you in love with her?" Sam partially turned, her face profiled in the dim light. "No." Janet was amazed at the relief she felt from that one word. "Then what is it, hun?" "Janet, when I...came, I yelled out your name." "Oh." "I... Janet, I... God this is so hard." Sam turned completely away from her friend, her shoulders shuddering slightly. "Janet, I...I love you." "Oh." "I...I'm sorry. I never planned for this to happen. I swore I'd never say anything. I just... I..." Sam choked back a sob, "I...really want... I need your friendship. And I think I just...just blew that." Silence filled the lab. All that could be heard was the sound of the air circulation systems and an occasional choking breath from Sam. Finally Janet, in a very small voice, broke the silence. "Sam..." Silence again then it was Sam's turn. "I guess you hate me now. I won't bother you anymore. I will leave you alone...except for official business. If that's what you want. Just, please, for the sake of our friendship, please don't say anything. "But Aisha was right. I needed to tell you. I'm sorry." Janet stepped up to Sam, grasped her shoulder and turned the taller woman to face her. She cupped Sam's tear-soaked cheeks gently in her hands, her thumbs gently brushing the tears away. "It's okay, Sam. I..." Janet's quiet voice faded and she pulled Sam's face down to hers, gently kissing Sam's lips. Janet pulled back just enough to look at Sam's eyes. Sam stared in surprise at the shorter woman as Janet pulled her face again close to kiss her. This was a firmer kiss, just lips pressing lips but it was so much more. Sam pulled back this time. "Janet?" "Ssh, Sam. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I never..." Janet smiled, a shy sweet smile. "I never expected this but..." Janet shook her head, some stray strands of hair coming loose to frame her face. "I think I like it." The two kissed again. Janet opened her mouth slowly and let her tongue trace Sam's mouth. Sam's lips parted and Janet's tongue slipped inside. Sam's tongue met the welcome intruder and the two women found themselves completely lost in each other. After an eternity, the two reluctantly pulled apart. They stared into each other's eyes, each seeing the same thing. "Janet? Are you sure?" Janet chuckled and shook her head, "No. But it feels...right. More right than anything has in a long time." Janet reached up and stroked the outside of Sam's ear, asking, "When did you...?" "Fall in love with you? I don't know. I knew it when..." Sam's breath hitched then she continued, "When you almost died. When you took that staff blast, I was sure..." Janet gave Sam a soft kiss then said, "I'm okay. You carried me back. Even as out of it as I was, I knew I was going to be okay. As long as you had me." Janet held Sam close as the two sniffled and sobbed for a few moments. Janet pulled back again and looked up at the beautiful blonde. "So, telling me about your...adventures? Was that your way of trying to get me into bed?" Janet chuckled. She felt like she won the lottery when Sam smiled. "I think I was. I don't know." "Sam, I never thought about you or any woman that way before but now..." Janet shook her head, "Actually, I guess I should be honest with you. I used to diddle myself silly thinking about those..." "Diddle?" Janet blushed. "You know..." "Did you ever wonder... Did you ever think about being there?" "Yes." Janet made a point of looking Sam directly in the eye. "Oh." "Sam, I think... I want to... Now." "Here?" Sam looked around. "Yes." The petit doctor grabbed some hand towels off a shelf and laid them on the edge of the open hood. Sam watched her closely, her heart thundering in her chest. Was her deepest desire about to come true? Would she be able to make love to her best friend? Janet had other ideas though. She unbuttoned Sam's pants, jerked them down and pulled the woman's shorts down. Then, for a moment, she paused as she gazed at the triangle of dark blond curls. "Janet...?" Janet shook her head and said, "I never realized how...pretty..." She looked up, her brown eyes dilated by her excitement. "Get up there." Sam, hampered by her pants and shorts tangle around her ankles, pulled herself up and sat on the edge of the hood's shelf. Janet pulled her skirt up above her knees as she knelt at Sam's feet. "We gotta get these out of the way," she murmured as she worked the pants over Sam's boots. Tossing them back over her shoulder, Janet got the shorts off much more easily - leaving Sam clad in only her t-shirt and boots. The petit woman pulled the blonde's legs apart and gazed at the wet lips that were exposed. The scent caught her by surprise and she leaned back a bit. After a few short moments, Janet realized it wasn't too bad. It wasn't bad at all. It was the aroma of her friend's excitement. In seconds, she realized it was intoxicating. She inhaled deeply through her nose, taking it all in. Sam was watching her friend, concerned that Janet would find her unattractive or her smell repulsive. When Janet smiled up at her, Sam's heart leapt in her chest. In all her encounters, no one had looked at her in quite that way. Janet whispered, "I'm not sure what I'm doing. I hope I do alright." Sam caressed her cheek, "I don't care. It means so much that you want to try..." With a chuckle, Janet said, "Here goes nuthin'!" Tasting Sam for the first time, Janet noticed a musky, spiciness. It was salty and sweet and all Sam. She immediately liked it and wondered why she'd waited so long to try this. Sam threw her head back at the first touch of Janet's tongue on her netherlips. The desire for this and the excitement of seeing Janet actually kneeling between her legs licking her was almost enough to cause Sam to climax. When Janet's tongue began to explore her labia, delving into her slightly, Sam shivered and moaned as she had her first mini-orgasm. Janet felt the contractions of Sam's sex on her tongue and the extra nectar. She smiled as she realized she'd made the other woman climax, if only a little. She pressed her tongue deep into Sam, searching for the blonde's honey. Managing to get a small amount on her tongue, Janet pulled back and looked up at Sam so she could see Janet savor then swallow her cum. Sam moaned at the sight. Janet smiled widely to let Sam know how she felt then went back between her legs. This time, Janet ran her tongue through the curls, gathering the droplets of Sam that had collected there. Then she gripped some of Sam's fur in her teeth and pulled lightly. Licking down through the thick, tasty patch of hair, Janet again came to Sam's labia. They seemed to be a bit more swollen with Sam's desire than before. She began to thoroughly explore the heated flesh, tasting and suckling on the dark lips. "Oh, Janet... Ooooo, god, that is soooo...gooood...." Sam moaned, her hands in Janet's auburn locks holding the doctor's head to her. "Please... I want more... Lick me. Suck me..." Janet was more than happy to follow Sam's instructions. And she improvised a bit. Taking one of Sam's lips in her teeth, she worried that like she had the blonde's pubic hair. As she pulled on the aroused flesh, she traced the edge in her teeth with her tongue. While laving the labia, Janet slipped her finger, then two, into Sam's wet heat. In seconds, Sam had a second orgasm, her vagina tightening around Janet's fingers as the doctor's hand became quite wet. Janet pulled back and kissed the blonde tuft. "I haven't even touched your clitoris, Sam." "Oh god, Janet..." Sam panted. She was momentarily sated until she saw Janet licking her cum off that dainty hand. "Want a taste?" Janet smiled wickedly. Sam leaned down and sucked Janet's fingers into her mouth, her tongue swirling around the digits. She released them and groaned loudly when Janet's mouth sealed around her mound. "Janet!!! Oh god!!! Ooooooh..." French-kissing Sam's mound, Janet pushed her tongue inside the other woman as far as she could. running it around and across the inner walls, Janet could really feel Sam's heat. Sam cried out as that novice tongue scraped over her G spot. "That's it! Right there! Oh Janet!!! Lick me harder! THERE!!!" With an incoherent scream directed up into the closed vent, Sam came a third time on Janet's face. Panting as she tried to recover, Sam whispered, "no more no more no more..." Janet obliged her new lover. For a full minute. Then she spied Sam's clit poking out of it's protective sheath. She couldn't resist. The doctor suckled on the little nubbin, lashing the tip with her tongue until Sam screamed out her most intense orgasm. "JAAAANNNNNNEEETT... AAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!" * * * Janet smiled as she licked Sam's cum from her lips and looked up at her friend, now lover. "So, was I any good?" Sam stared down in wonder at that beautiful face covered with her juices. Even as her heart swelled with gratitude and love, the wicked side of her came through. Sam's response caused Janet to drop her head in frustration, her forehead pressing into Sam's wet curls. "Numba one in tha hood, J."
The End (c) John O'Conner
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