Black Coffee In Bed by John O'Connor Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Rating: PG-13. Note: Inspired by the classic Squeeze song of the same name. Black Coffee In Bed (Difford/Tilbrook)Now she's gone And I'm back on the beat A stain on my notebook Says nothing to me Now she's gone And I'm out with her friends With lips full of passion And coffee in bed. Janet Fraiser sat at her desk, her right hand resting on the stained, warped blue cardboard. Her very wet eyes were locked on the brown stain that had soaked into the notebook's cover and many of the pages. It had been over two weeks. When was it going to stop hurting? * * * * * * Three weeks before... Janet set her coffee mug down near the top of her desk as she prepared to add to her notes. She opened the spiral-bound notebook and picked up her well-chewed Bic. Since college, the young doctor had preferred notebooks to computers. Of course, computers weren't as prevalent when she was in school. Still, she had access to them during her medical training and still preferred to use the old-fashioned method. She, of course, transferred all the relevant information into the SGC's Medical Database once she had recorded the same in her books. It wasn't that she didn't trust computers, it was just... She didn't trust computers. Notebooks couldn't get viruses. Notebooks couldn't crash and delete days of data. Notebooks gave her a sense of security that she never felt with the electronic medium. Not that she'd ever admit that to Sam Carter. Janet smiled when she thought of Sam and her fascination with gadgets. The woman was a genius. Even Cassie, as laid-back as she was becoming in her teens, said "If Sam was on the island, the Minnow would've been fixed the first week and she'd have found a way to make it fly the castaways home!" Her musings, and her notes, were interrupted by the announcement that SG-1 was returning with injuries. Her heart in her throat, Janet rushed into the main room of the Med Center to prepare for the casualties. 'Please, God, don't let it be Sam,' she prayed quietly. But it was Sam. She had taken a knife in her abdomen and was bleeding internally. Janet took immediate charge. Shutting off the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, she calmly and methodically went about the process of saving Sam's life. After several hours, she finally closed the wound and prepared to wait and see if her work had been successful. She had almost lost the woman twice due to blood loss. Fortunately, they had some reserves of plasma as well as some compatible whole blood on hand. Finally sitting at her desk, Janet lowered her head to her arms and quietly sobbed. This was too hard. It wasn't fair. Not to her. Not to Cassie. Not to Sam. It had to end. Six days later, Sam shuffled into Janet's office, leaning heavily on an aluminum cane. "Hey, Beautiful! What's the good word?" Janet looked up and forced a smile. She wasn't looking forward to this, not at all. "He-ey! How're you feeling?" "Ready to get out of here. Don't get me wrong, I love your hospitality but the decor..." Janet chuckled and nodded, "Yes, a few paintings, some color..." She couldn't put this off any longer. Janet's face turned serious as she said, "Sam, sit down before you fall down." Sam took a seat gingerly as Janet rubbed her eyes, "Sam, I... I, uh... God! This is harder..." "What is it, Janet?" "Sam, do you have any idea what it does to me everytime you come in broken or bleeding? How much it tears my heart? I just don't know..." Janet paused and reached for her coffee. Taking a sip, she continued, "I can't go on like this, Sam." "Janet, what are you saying?" Sam asked, concern obvious on her face. "I can't keep up this facade! The unconcerned doctor when the woman I love is laying there bleeding, dying. I just can't take it any more. It's more than I should have to bear... "And then, you spend too much time in your lab. You've... You missed Cassie's first softball game. She was the starting pitcher and you promised and... Damn it, Sam. And that wasn't the first time. And it wasn't the last. You're work means more to you than I do! Than Cass does!" "Janet, that's not true! I love you! I love Cassie! You're both my whole world," Sam cried. "No, we're only on the edge. That damned Gate is your world! You're more at home in your lab than in our house." Janet couldn't look up from where her fingers were twisted together on her desk. "Janet, that's not fair! None of this is! You know what my work entails, how dangerous it is. You're in danger here too. Almost every day. How do you think I feel knowing you're handling unknown, and potentially fatal diseases?" Sam stopped, her breathing ragged, her voice strained with emotion. "Then maybe my decision is for the best. For both of us," Janet said quietly. "What? I don't understand. Are you talking about leaving?" Sam's voice was higher in pitch, alarmed. Janet shook her head, "No. I'm just saying, I can't be in a relationship like this. I think..." "Then you're breaking up with me? Janet?" Sam's confusion was evident. "Janet, please... This can work..." "No, Sam. I can't do it. I just can't. It's too hard." "So, this will be better? Janet, you can't just switch off your emotions like a light! You can't..." "Sam, I've been through all this with myself. I think, in the long run, you'll agree with me." Sam shook her head, her blonde bangs shaking, "No, I won't. I love you, Janet. I won't... I can't live..." Sam covered her face with her hands as her body shook. 'I love you too!' Janet felt her eyes burning as she said, "Sam, please. Just go home, rest. You'll see that I'm right." Sam struggled to her feet, her cane striking loudly against the desk. "Janet, I..." Without another word, Sam limped out of Janet's office, her back parade-ground stiff. Reaching again for her mug, Janet ignored the shaking of her hands and was startled when half her coffee was suddenly soaking into her open notebook. Soon, tears mixed with the puddle of coffee on the doctor's desk. * * * * * * Now, Sam was gone. Having requested and been granted convalescent leave, she was spending time with her once-estranged brother and his family. Janet had no idea when she was due back. It was going to be hard but it was necessary, she had convinced herself. Slapping her hand on the slightly warped cover, Janet stood and headed out of her office. Daniel Jackson had repeatedly invited her to join Jack O'Neill, Teal'c, and he at Siobhan's for drinks. Well, tonight she would. Cassie was staying at a friend's house so she wouldn't have to worry about her. Getting drunk might be just what the doctor ordered. Janet smiled to herself at the thought. A short time later, she was parking her Celica next to Jack's pickup. She saw Daniel's old Chevy on the other side of the truck. Stepping inside, she heard rock and roll blaring from the CD jukebox. Some British pop band from the '70s or early '80s. Elvis Costello and the Attractions, she recalled. The song was about wanting to be loved. She shook her head, hoping that song wasn't setting the tone for the evening. Seeing the three members of SG-1 at a table near the back, she waved and made her way to them. "Hey, Doc! Jenny, another glass?" Jack said as Janet got to the table. "And another pitcher too!" Daniel smiled and said, "Glad you decided to join us. Have a seat." Teal'c nodded with a small smile on his face, his gold-coated brand hidden by a battered Rockies cap. As Jack poured from the new pitcher of beer, he looked at Janet, "So, Doc, how're you holding up?" "What do you mean, Colonel?" Janet asked, genuinely puzzled. "Well, with the whole thing with Carter..." He stopped when he saw Janet's eyes widen in fear and surprise. "Don't worry, Doc. Your secret is safe with us." "How did you...? Did Sam...?" Jack shook his head, "No, but I'm very observant. Have to be to get to wear eagles on your shoulders..." "And Teal'c asked us about it," Daniel said with a grin. He ignored the glare Jack sent him. "I merely wished to understand Tauri relationships. I was unaware the situation between you and Major Carter was a taboo on Earth. I am still unfamiliar with many of your archaic beliefs," Teal'c explained with a raised eyebrow. "Archaic? At least we don't believe some snakebelly is a god!" Jack protested loudly. Teal'c again raised his eyebrow while he regarded Jack silently. "Jack, keep it down," Daniel warned. Janet sat and smiled at the easy give and take between the three friends. It used to be that way with Sam, even before they became lovers. At that thought her smile dimmed. "Well, Janet? You never answered Jack's question. How're you doing?" Daniel asked. "Fine." Janet took a big swallow from her glass, "No, that's a lie. I'm... I'm not doing well. It's kinda like some old joke, I can't live with her and I don't want to live without her..." She stopped as her voice threatened to break. Daniel gripped her hand and squeezed gently. "Doc, uh, Janet. It's gonna be okay. You'll see," Jack said. "Indeed, Doctor Fraiser. Things have a tendency to work out for ourselves and those around us," Teal'c said, ignoring the fact that he, Jack, and Daniel had all lost loved ones in one way or another because of their careers. Janet blinked back the threatening tears, "Thanks guys." Then smiling her radiant smile, she added, "The next round's on me!" "Now you're talking, Doc!" Several pitchers, and a few shots, later, Janet was clearly feeling little pain. Her blouse's top two buttons were undone and her tie was in the pocket of her jacket, which was hanging on the back of her chair. The others seemed to be in somewhat better shape. The subject had returned to Janet's problem. "Y'know th' pro'lem? No? Th' pro'lem ish tha' you guys're alwaysh comin' back hur'. You're alwaysh comin' back...hur'. Y'know how ol' tha' gets?" Jack shook his head, "Nature of the work, Doc. You knew that coming in..." Janet squinted and pointed at Jack with her glass, "Yeah, bu' you're the wors' of th' bunch! I don' have these pro'lems wi'th' other Sh-G teamsh. I didn' become a doc'er to nurshe-maid..." "Come on, Janet. Let me drive you home," Daniel said as he placed his hand on her arm. "Nooo, th' nigh's young an' so am I!" She pounded her palm on the table, "Jenny! Ge' ush an'ther roun'!" Then turning to Daniel, she winked and added, "She'sh go' a shexy ash. Y'know?" "Maybe so Doc, but I gotta get Teal'c outta here. Junior gets cranky if he doesn't get enough sleep," Jack said as he waved off Jenny. Teal'c merely sat and looked smug. "Come on, Janet. Let's get you home," Daniel repeated as Janet stood up unsteadily. Grabbing her jacket, Daniel propelled her out of the bar and to his car. "Watch your head, Janet," the young archaeologist said as he opened the passenger door. He managed to fasten the seat belt as Janet sat down. He went around and got behind the wheel. The car radio was playing an older song as the car started. "Yer a goo' man, Danyel Jac'son. Yer a goo' man." She grabbed his head and kissed him, hard. Too startled to react, Daniel just sat there. Finally Janet pulled back. "She loved thish shong. I missh Sham!" she cried, then her head fell forward and the drunken young woman was snoring. Shaking his head and smiling, Daniel started his car and drove towards Janet's house. She wasn't a bad kisser. Sam was a lucky girl. The voice on the radio said, "That was Squeeze with the classic 'Black Coffee In Bed.' Now for something a little newer from Collective Soul..." * * * * * * Janet knew she didn't want to wake up but that couldn't stop her. Before she opened her eyes, she blearily took inventory of herself. Dull throb behind the eyes; thick, acidy taste; upset stomach; physical fatigue. She wasn't sure if she was sick or... Abruptly she sat up as she remembered the night before, the sheet spilling to her waist. Then she groaned as her head felt like it was going to split open. "Oh God! What the hell...?" she moaned aloud. There was a gentle knocking at the door, and Janet yelled in a dry, crusty voice, "Not now Cassie!" A fresh spasm of pain across her brow! "It's not Cassie." Daniel's voice. Daniel? 'Oh God! I think I kissed him!' Janet thought. Then, realizing she was naked, she began to wonder, 'Did he and I...? Did we? Oh...' "Can I come in? I have coffee and aspirin," the voice came through the door. Laying down and quickly pulling the sheet over herself, Janet finally said, "Yeah, I guess so..." Smiling brightly, which only seemed to confirm Janet's fear, Daniel walked in with a glass of water in one hand and a coffee mug in the other. "Good morning! Here, take these. I remembered where you kept the aspirin from that New Year's party..." Daniel explained as he handed her two white tablets and a glass of water. He had set the coffee on the night stand next to the alarm clock. "I think I remember you take it black?" Janet nodded as she swallowed. "Thanks, Daniel..." The young archaeologist nodded, "I hope you don't mind but it was so late once I got you up here and into bed. I slept in the other room..." A wave of relief washed over Janet, she hadn't slept with someone in a drunken stupor! But her clothes were scattered all over the bedroom... Following her eyes, Daniel chuckled and said, "I didn't do that. I took off your shoe and covered you with a blanket. What you did in your sleep..." Sighing, Janet took a sip of the hot coffee. It burned her tongue slightly and she gasped. "Thank you Daniel. May I ask you something?" He nodded and she continued, "Did I do anything last night that might've been... Did I act like... What I mean is..." "Nothing happened last night," Daniel said. Then he cleared his throat, a sure sign of stress (from lying?) to Janet, "Once I got you awake enough to try the stairs, you did..." Alarmed, Janet quickly prodded him, "Yes? What? I did what?" "You, ah, started to cry like...well, you started to cry." "I did?" Daniel nodded, then rose from the side of the bed. "Listen, I gotta get to the lab, I've got some cartouches to try and figure out from 11's mission. You going to be okay?" Janet nodded, "Thank you, Daniel. You're a good man." "That's what you said last night too." Daniel smiled from the door, "Before you kissed me." He was gone before Janet fully comprehended what he'd said. She fell back on her pillow with an extremely loud groan. * * * * * * A week later in a coffee shop in the more Bohemian section of Colorado Springs... Janet sat at the table of the old coffee shop, wondering what she was doing here. How could she let O'Neill talk her into this? A blind date? Was she nuts? It was way too soon. It would never work. Fiddling with her mug, she didn't see the woman enter she was to meet. But she was suddenly aware of someone standing above her. "Janet? You are Janet?" Janet looked up into deep blue eyes. Sam! Her Sam! "Yes, I'm Janet Fraiser," she said as she decided to play along for a few moments. "Hi, I'm Sam Carter," the other said as she stuck out her hand. Janet took it, thrills running up her spine at the woman's touch. "Sit down, please." After Sam ordered a cappucino, she said, "Janet, I..." "Sam, I was wrong!" Janet blurted out. "I was so very wrong. I want you back in my life. I..." Suddenly everything was getting misty. "So was I," Sam said as she gently held Janet's hand. "So was I. I should never have given in like that. And you're right. I spend too much time in the lab." She smiled at Janet and the brunette's heart felt like it would hammer it's way through her chest. "I promise that I won't do that again," Sam said in all sincerity. Janet squeezed Sam's hand and smiled at her love. They both knew Sam would never be able to keep that promise but as long as they were together, they'd find a way to handle it. Janet leaned over and kissed the only woman in the world for her. (c) John O'Conner Comments May Be Mailed Here