Butterfly
  by DS

Contains: amputation, romance only

As the newly appointed doctor in the quiet, rural village of Vershina, it hadn't taken long for word to reach Vanya Belkina about Anechka, a farmer's daughter who had suffered such terrible burns that even the cheerful elders in the village turned grim when they spoke of her. After a hectic week she had finally found time to visit her, and only now could she fully comprehend their sorrow: the girl's face seemed locked in an anguished grimace, her poorly bandaged arms and legs trembling - it hurt Vanya to even just look at her. The girl's burly father took a long drag from his cigarette, squinted at her and exhaled the noxious fumes. "She's not getting this 'transplant surgery' you're talking about. Too expensive, I'm still not done paying off the loans I took to fix the damage from the fire. The old doc had these ointments that took away the pain, so just use those or something". "Mr. Tereshchenkov, even the best ointment will barely alleviate her suffering, and in these conditions the risk of her wounds getting infected is just..." "This is her home" the man now bellowed, slamming his fist down on the table, "and she's doing just fine. Life out here is hard, something you city folk never seem to get... Anechka will keep working here, discomfort or not, it's not like she can get a rich husband anymore the way she looks. Do your job woman, but don't think you can tell me how to take care of my daughter... that kind of attitude isn't going to make you very popular over here, yeah?"

"W-wouldn't it be cheaper to just... remove them... is that... is that possible..." the girl suddenly spoke in a barely audible whisper, but before Vanya could even reply, a dull smack resounded through the barren kitchen. "How do you expect to do your chores around here without your arms you dimwit... I won't tolerate laziness in this house, is that understood?" Anechka didn't even cover her face, didn't even touch the reddening mark on her cheek where her father's broad hand had struck her, just sat there, nodding docilely. "We get the usual treatment for free right... I'm going for a drink". He squashed his cigarette on the wooden table, the chair grating noisily as he pushed it back, scratching his leg before he headed out. "Be seeing you" he called from behind her, slamming the door shut. "Are you okay?" Vanya asked, cautiously clasping Anechka's undamaged fingers, but the girl only stared at her in response, her blue eyes shimmering with tears. "I-is it possible... to remove them..." she whispered again, and Vanya closed her eyes, carefully choosing her words. "Anechka... it would be possible, but you must understand that amputation causes serious disability, you would need constant care, someone to move you around, someone to wash you, someone to feed you... you're only nineteen years old, so it's not a decision you can make on your own". She hoped Anechka would understand that what she was asking was impossible, but there was only sadness in the girl's eyes. "I'll start cleaning your bandages... is there somewhere you can lie down?"

With Anechka resting on her simple bed, Vanya unwrapped the girl's old bandages as gently as she could; they were improvised wrappings, probably old sheets torn to thin strips, possibly not even properly sterilized. Despite her professional training, she still felt tears sting her eyes as the defiled flesh appeared, the crude, stained linen taking along crusts of blood; while she had warned Anechka taking off the bandages would be painful, she was amazed the girl managed to keep from crying out, only wincing occasionally. "Just a little more" she lied, starting on the leg bandages. Even getting the antibacterial cream applied would be hell for the girl; its soothing effect was slow in activation, and the friction alone would be terrible for her. The way her legs and especially her arms were burned... she must've been shielding herself from the fire, reportedly a domestic accident caused by the stove, ruining a life in a single, tragic night. Anechka kept amazingly still - it wasn't possible to get used to pain like that, and Vanya could only respect the immense strength of will that kept her from acting on her torment. She wasted no time wrapping each limb in sterile bandages, finally able to start alleviating the girl's pain a little; she could see it in her expression, her contorted grimace slowly relaxing, the trembling in her limbs slowly calming down. "Thank you" Anechka whispered, and Vanya nodded, noticing a sad beauty on the girl's face now, a tormented innocence that stirred her heart. It wasn't fair that she had to suffer like this.

"How is she progressing?" Anechka's mother asked as Vanya packed her bag. "It's difficult for me to tell on my first visit ofcourse - I'll return in two days to replace her bandages; for now, try to keep her inside as much as possible to minimize risk of infection". "Oh... and these treatments are really free of charge?" It was the practical question of a mother in a poor family. They couldn't afford expensive skin grafting surgery, and even small expenses such as antibacterial ointment and bandages would take a heavy toll on their budget. "Yes... it's not more than a stop-gap solution however... your daughter can't live with this pain". "But it will heal over time, won't it? Our old doctor said she would get better eventually..." False hope, the one thing to give those who have nothing. "To be honest, I think the burns are too severe, ma'am. Without surgery, she can't-" "I know she'll make it. My Anechka is strong, miss Belkina... strong and proud, just like her mother". Vanya just gave her a polite smile, and headed out. "Have a good afternoon, babushka" she greeted the elderly lady peeling potatoes on a rickety stool outside, and the weathered woman gave her a kind smile. "She used to laugh so much... had such a beautiful smile..." the old woman seemingly spoke to herself behind her, and Vanya turned around. "Anechka would tell the most wonderful stories... but she hardly even speaks anymore... isn't that sad...?" "I wish there was something I could do, ma'am..." she smiled thinly, her heart heavy as the old woman nodded.

Pouring herself a drink as heavy as the rain outside, Vanya sat back in thought. She'd been here about a week now, hadn't even had time to unpack the boxes occupying the living room floor of the cosy cottage, formerly belonging to the old physician of this village. He had been a local; she was from the city, originally not even from this province; heck, even being a single woman nearing her thirties was awkward around these parts, and all of it would make gaining the trust and respect of her patients that much more difficult. Her motivations for escaping from the city clinic had been clear enough: the careless and underhanded way medicine was practiced, the bribes that got the rich the treatment they wanted and left the poor in the cold... she wanted nothing more to do with that, tired of how powerless she felt in the light of such corruption. But here, people simply had nothing - no money to bribe with, no money to afford the more complicated procedures, relying on what little medical handouts the government provided for them. She would be just as powerless here, but had at least hoped her efforts would be appreciated by what she imagined was a warmer community... Recalling the disdain in Mr. Tereshchenkov's eyes, she took another sip; the reality could be quite different from her dreams. Perhaps it was like Anechka's burns... perhaps the distrust wasn't something that time could heal, her efforts simply wasted. But these folk needed a doctor, and she knew she could win their hearts eventually.

Normally on a night like this, she'd be out in town with friends: cinema, theatre, bars... With a smirk, she put down her empty glass, and stared lethargically at the half-empty bottle - no wonder farmers went to bed early, life simply ground to a halt at nightfall around these parts. Maybe she really didn't have any business suggesting outlandish treatment to these poor folks - all they could afford was the false hope the old doctor prescribed. But they didn't need a qualified doctor to instill them with hope like that - any quack would suffice. She sighed - she still wasn't intoxicated enough to forget Anechka's tormented eyes. She couldn't do anything for her. Her parents had no concept of what kind of pain the girl was suffering... and clearly didn't respect her enough to take her word for it. "Some kind of doctor you are" she whispered to herself, running her finger along the edge of her glass. The unusual chime of the doorbell startled her, and she quickly rose from her chair - a visitor this late at night could only mean an emergency of sorts. But opening the door, she clasped her mouth as she beheld the girl standing before her, hunched over, soaked through and through by the cold, lashing rain. "My God, Anechka..."

"Come in, quickly..." Vanya spoke, hurriedly guiding Anechka in front of the electric heater, trying her best to help the girl out of her drenched clothes. "What were you thinking?? Did you walk all the way over here?" Vanya chided the shivering girl, but she remained silent, and Vanya rose to her feet. "Can you take the rest of your clothes off yourself? I'll get you some of mine to wear". "I need your help" Anechka faintly whispered, and after a moment of confusion, Vanya sat back down, helping her out of her shirt. "Ah, I meant..." Anechka winced, but Vanya shushed her, rubbing her body dry with a towel, then quickly inspected the bandages for any filth - they seemed clean enough, but were soaked from the rain; the textile would have to dry on its own somehow, complicated by Anechka's understandable aversion for the heat of her radiator. The girl took a small pouch from the bundle of clothes on the floor, and pushed it into her hands. "I want to have the amputation surgery done... I hope it's enough, it's all I could save..." Anechka whispered hoarsely while Vanya slowly put the pouch, containing a grubby collection of rubel notes and coins, down before her; so that's what the girl meant when she asked for help. "It's not about the money, Anechka. As I explained, your parents need to consent to the surgery, I can't disregard their wishes". No matter how much she wanted to. "Please... I will give my life to you..." the girl begged weakly, and Vanya finally saw her tears roll down her anguished face. "Let me get you those clothes" Vanya sighed; Anechka didn't seem concerned with her near-nakedness, but she couldn't risk the girl getting a cold in her condition.

Driving Anechka home again was the least she could do, but the girl's silence made Vanya feel terrible. Regulations forbade her from honoring the girl's plight, and yet... the girl was in constant pain, needed something to alleviate her suffering, and her parents were simply denying her a bearable existence out of ignorance. "Where are you driving... my house is..." Anechka whispered, but Vanya ignored her, the rain lashing on the roof and windows drowning out the steady hum of the engine. "Are you sure you want to go through with the surgery? Absolutely sure?" she finally asked, glancing at her passenger; Anechka nodded fiercely, a grimace marring her face as she clasped her trembling bandages. They were already driving out of town, following the road that would take them to the nearby city, to a hospital where Anechka could hopefully be freed from her torment. Regulations or not, she swore an oath to care for her patients; she didn't become a doctor to stand idly by while this girl suffered, regardless of how Anechka's parents or even the rest of the village felt about it. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or the sum of her frustration, but this simply felt right, and she'd be content to at least change Anechka's life for the better before she was forced to move again. "Thank y-you..." Anechka whispered at her side, and Vanya gave her a determined nod.

"She slept throughout most of the day after her surgery... I think her wounds will heal over nicely, but I'd like to keep her here for a few days to monitor her progress" the middle-aged doctor stated, marking his notepad before giving her a quick smile. Dr. Demitri Abelev and Vanya had attended university together, and because of their history together she had managed to convince him to admit Anechka into his immediate care last night. Surgery had taken place next morning, but Vanya couldn't neglect her responsibilities to the village; it was late in the afternoon now, and Anechka still seemed to be sleeping. "Thanks Demitri, you're the best". "I would've expected her parents to have visited by now, though," Demitri gave his patient a puzzled look, "I assume you've informed them the surgery was a success?" "Yes, I visited them this morning, right after you called... their situation is a bit complicated, that's probably why they haven't visited" Vanya brushed the topic aside, and as Anechka stirred, Demitri gave her a quick nod, then left them alone. "Hi there... how are you feeling?" Vanya smiled, fluffing up Anechka's pillow a bit and helped her sit up. "H-hey... I feel... I feel... good". And with those words, Anechka gave her an angelic smile, the veil of suffering lifted from her, revealing a beauty more pure than she had ever seen.

"You haven't told my mom and dad, have you, miss Belkina?" Anechka finally whispered, and Vanya shook off her daze, realizing she was simply staring at the girl; Anechka seemed to notice, blushing cutely. "All parents worry about their children, Anechka... it was my responsibility to inform them of your decision". "I see..." Anechka smiled, staring out the window for a moment, dusk slowly shrouding the view outside, "I hope they'll visit soon". Vanya sighed, rubbing Anechka's shoulder for a moment. Mr. Tereshchenkov had been infuriated by the news, not even listening when she insisted Anechka had been determined to go through with her brave decision, ripping up the note with Anechka's hospital hall number information. Her mother just cried, which she could understand at least - even if it was her daughter's last resort, amputation was such a severe procedure. "Well... your parents will need some time to get used to the idea... maybe you can stay over with a friend for a while when you're fit leave the hospital?" she suggested carefully; Anechka blinked in confusion. "Oh... why...?" She had insisted her parents should visit their daughter, for she would need their support more than ever now, but her father had given her the coldest stare, stating that he no longer had a daughter, then simply told her to get out of his house. "You know... don't worry about that right now. Let's take a look at you, okay?"

Folding away the blanket, Vanya tried to retain her professional attitude as she beheld what was left of the girl. Her arms had been removed entirely, leaving just her rounded shoulders, wrapped tightly in gauze - despite such short notice, Demitri had outdone himself: she could see only minimal bleeding, and yet... he had only been able to save so little of her limbs, two smooth, bandaged stumps all that remained of her legs. "At least the pain is gone" Anechka smiled, slightly shifting her position by squirming in place; she would still suffer some pain as her wounds healed, and Vanya smiled, knowing that the girl wouldn't show it. "You've made a brave decision, Anechka..." "Do you think it was selfish of me? I never desired anything for myself, but this..." her voice trailed off, and she glanced outside again. "Noone should have to suffer like that, Anechka. Noone" Vanya stated, gently stroking the girl's golden hair. "Thank you for helping me, miss Belkina" the girl smiled, and Vanya nodded - it had been little more than a drunk decision, but seeing Anechka smile like this, she knew she had made the right choice. "Well, I have to be on my way again..." Vanya whispered, planting a soft kiss on her fingers, then touched Anechka's forehead. "You need to rest... I'll come visit as often as I can, I promise". Anechka nodded, and after a last wave, Vanya left her again. She was in good hands here... she needn't worry about her future just yet.

Days passed only slowly for Vanya. Word of her defiance to Mr. Tereshchenkov had spread like wildfire, and as she had feared the villagers mostly sided with him, their initial caution now soured into disdain. At least the elderly seemed more sensible, or perhaps they were simply more reliant on her services, but the chill she felt from everyone else was making it quite clear that her stay in Vershina had already seen its best days. Walking through the sterile corridors of the hospital, she was surprised to hear singing up ahead, and joined the nurse standing in the door opening to the hall where Anechka rested. "The girl has such a beautiful voice" the nurse smiled at her, and Vanya nodded in admiration. "Again! Again!" a child at her bedside clapped his hands as she finished, but his mother shushed him, giving Anechka a polite smile as she led the boy back to another patient's bed. "You've still been her only visitor though... she must be excited to go home again today" the nurse remarked, and Vanya sighed. "Anechka darling - are you leaving us already?" another patient asked, overhearing the nurse; Anechka smiled brightly as she finally spotted her. "Sorry, Uljyana... give my regards to little Katya when she comes to visit again, okay?" Helping Anechka into the waiting wheelchair, Vanya was surprised how light she was now; supporting the amputated girl under her rounded shoulders, she eased her down into the seat, then covered her leg stumps with a velvet blanket. "Please take good care of Anechka!" the other patients called out to her, and Vanya nodded. "Don't worry, I will".

"I'm not really going home, am I?" Anechka finally broke the silence in the car. Vanya slowly shook her head, giving her passenger a thin smile. The girl wasn't welcome in her own house... in fact, she hadn't been able to find anyone willing to take her in, the few friends she used to have either married and moved away to other villages, or forgot about her when the fire crippled her spirit beyond recognition. "Well... like your parents, the villagers will need time to understand your decision. But you can stay at my place if you like... I'd just be alone otherwise anyway". She had made up her mind about that the day before - the responsibility came with her decision to help the girl in the first place. "Miss Belkina... I'll make it up to you, I promise". "You were my patient, Anechka... it's quite alright". "No... I owe you my life, without you, I would still..." "Shhh..." Vanya smiled, turning her car into the short driveway to her house. Lifting Anechka out of the passenger's seat, a pair of children and their mother stared at them from the road. "Mommy, that girl doesn't have any legs!" the younger child pointed. "And she doesn't have any arms either, eww!" the other child added; their mother gave Vanya a quick scowl, then hurriedly pushed her children onwards. Sadly, her struggle to find acceptance here was nothing compared to what Anechka would have to go through. "Don't worry about them" Anechka whispered to her before Vanya could speak those exact words.

"There's still so many boxes in your home..." Anechka stated as Vanya carried her into her bedroom. "Yeah... I don't think I'll be able to stay in Vershina after all, Anechka. Besides, I don't need much from the boxes anyway..." She gently lowered the girl down on the bed, returning Anechka's smile as she saw the girl wriggle into a comfortable position - she seemed quite used to her reduced body already. "We'll have to sleep in the same bed until I can somehow arrange a second bed for you" Vanya explained, rummaging through one of her clothes boxes to find a pajama shirt Anechka could wear. "If possible... I don't mind sleeping in the same bed at all," Anechka smiled, "after all, I promised you my life, my body..." Vanya sat down on the bed, resting the pajama shirt at her side. Anechka was blushing so cutely, but her offering herself confused her - after more than a year of pain, the girl was finally free to feel good again, to feel... pleasure, and part of her could understand the girl's desires. But as attractive as Anechka was, it simply wouldn't be professional... "You've been lonely too, haven't you? I can't do much anymore with my body... but we could keep eachother warm at night..." Anechka whispered, a seductive sigh escaping her lips as Vanya approached with a smile, brushing aside a strand of Anechka's long blonde hair. "Do you really want-" "Do you only listen to your heart when you're drunk?" Anechka hoarsely interrupted her with a smile. What little indignation she felt soon made way for love, and Vanya leaned in on the girl, closing her eyes as their lips locked in a gentle kiss.

Vanya smiled as she arrived home again - she felt stupid for it, but the beautiful Anechka had been on her mind ever since last night. However, when she found a snot-nosed boy staring at her in her hallway, running away in fright when she approached, she was forced back to stark reality. She had left Anechka in the shaded backyard when she departed for the morning, the door ajar to air out the house... Judging by the noise in the house the kid wasn't alone, and her anger swiftly rising, she hurried onward, now praying Anechka was at least spared the cruelty of children... But as she entered the living room, she was surprised to find Anechka seated in a lazy chair, her hair adorned with a circlet of daisies while children ran to-and-fro around her. "Careful with that vase Oleg - Elena, why don't you help Nadya with those heavy books..." The little rascals were unpacking her moving boxes, and like a proud battle commander, Anechka was directing their efforts from her throne. "Will you tell us another story when we're done miss Anechka? I wanna hear about the Rolling Roll!" another boy asked, tugging at Anechka's blouse. A little boy was staring up at Vanya with a big grin, missing more than a few teeth. "You're the new doctor, aren't 'cha!" A girl suddenly hugged her leg. "You need to stay in this village miss Vanya, don't leave". "Can you take my arms off too and make me pretty like miss Anechka??" another girl added, and hugged her other leg, as if making sure she wouldn't run off right there. Anechka looked over with an apologetic smile, and Vanya finally relaxed. Anechka was doing all this for her...

Their parents seemed just as confused as she had been when they came over to get their children for dinner. Their initial indignation was no match for the excited chirps of their boys and girls, excitedly recounting the wonderful stories Anechka had told them. And as Vanya led the children out, a first few hesitant smiles and nods came her way, filling Vanya with a cautious hope that perhaps she wouldn't have to leave after all. But as the mothers left for home with their children, a single woman remained, and Vanya swallowed nervously as she recognized Mrs. Tereshchenkov. "Good afternoon miss Belkina... I was wondering if I could see my daughter" the woman's voice shivered. "Ofcourse, ofcourse... please, come in" she hurried, but didn't know what else to say as the woman walked into the living room, clasping her mouth as she beheld Anechka. "Mamulya..." Anechka whispered emotionally, squirming as she had no arms to reach out with. "Anechka, why..." the woman cried, running her hands across the bandages around her daughter's shoulders, but Anechka shook her head. "Look at my smile, mamulya... look at my smile... I'm happy again..." Mrs. Tereshchenkov looked up, and could only smile through her tears. "My beautiful baby... I was afraid I'd never..." "Shhh... it's okay now mamulya... does papa... does papa hate me?" "Your papa... he's a... proud man, he..." "He'll get over it one day," Vanya stepped in, "and until then, please allow me to take care of your daughter".

"Here's your water Mrs. Mikhaylova... are you comfortable like that? I could get another pillow..." Vanya asked as she handed the old woman the glass. For the past couple of days the children had returned for more of Anechka's stories and songs, and each day, more of the elderly women of the village had accompanied them, officially to keep an eye out, but they enjoyed listening to Anechka just as much. It was a warm Sunday, and Anechka was sitting in the garden, a circle of fascinated children around her as she recounted the sad tale of the Snow Maiden, the elderly sitting at the side. "I'm fine dear... so tell me, do any of the town's men strike your fancy yet? Mr. Sudnik is still single..." "Don't be silly, Lenya... she has Anechka, doesn't she? Men are all useless anyway... women are much more gentle with eachother" Mrs. Nevskaja smiled, clasping Vanya's hand. Vanya couldn't help blush - whatever went on between her and Anechka was a private affair, but perhaps she was too easy to read... Through Anechka's gift they had won the trust of the children and the elderly, leaving the rest of the village slowly but surely warming up to them - to think that mere days ago, she had been certain she'd have to leave... "Thinking back to when you were young, Svetlana? You should've never left that girl..." Mrs. Mikhaylova chuckled playfully. "Ladies, ladies... I can't hear my granddaughter anymore" the old woman in their center shushed, and more of the women nodded, then closed their eyes to listen to the story again as the two women quieted down. Watching Anechka in the sunshine, Vanya could only smile - her decision had allowed the girl spread her wings like a butterfly from its cocoon, but they were the wings of an angel...

End